Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'The Late Night Cafe (off-topic)' started by peachcreek, Oct 8, 2002.

  1. peachcreek


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    Retired Chef
    The Theories:

    GEORGE W. BUSH I don't think I should have to answer that question.

    AL GORE I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
    crossing the road represented the application of these two different
    functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater
    services to the American people.

    RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
    polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
    unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet
    it was getting a government grant to cross the road. And, I'll bet someone
    out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
    crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
    real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
    dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
    the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

    JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
    people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
    the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my
    friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
    gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
    that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
    "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free
    to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
    told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for

    BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
    listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story
    of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
    lifelong dream of "crossing the road."

    JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.

    SADDAM HUSSEIN This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
    justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
    CAPTAIN KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER (TV show character on X-files, about paranormal phenomenon like
    aliens, etc) You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
    road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    BILL GATES I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
    checkbook---and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
    EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
    beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What Do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

    LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
    chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

    THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said Unto the
    "Thou shalt cross the road." The chicken crossed the road, and there was
    much rejoicing.

    COLONEL SANDERS I missed one?
  2. phatch

    phatch Moderator Staff Member

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    I Just Like Food
    My favorite answer to that has always been:

    "Because he was stapled to the punk rocker."

  3. w.debord


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    :bounce: :eek:)
  4. leo r.

    leo r.

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To join the National Guard!
    This was used by a U.S. comedian as reference to Dan Quayle not serving in Vietnam.

    BTW PeachCreek,i know Pat Buchanan was/is a presenter for CNN.I`m sure that i read a magazine article stating that he worked in the White House press office with the Nixon administration.Best wishes,Leo.
  5. pete

    pete Moderator Staff Member

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    Professional Chef
    :bounce: :bounce: ROTFLMAO:bounce: :bounce:
  6. phatch

    phatch Moderator Staff Member

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    I Just Like Food
    I believe Pat was a speech writer for Nixon and is a leading candidate to be Deep Throat in the whole Watergate thing.

  7. leo r.

    leo r.

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    Does Mr.Buchanan:
    Swear to tell to tell the truth,whatever that maybe.
    The whole truth and there are lots of holes and nothing but the truth,because that`s what you`ll get NOTHING!Leo.
    P.S.i thought the chicken crossed the road to catch a bus,it didn`t want a lift from Ted Kennedy.
  8. vzank


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    you should add one with John Edward from that show CROSSING OVER