What Are Friends

Joined Feb 1, 2007
I know I'm technologically challenged. But this has been bugging me for awhile.

What are friends? I've got a bunch of them, here at Cheftalk. Got another request just this morning, which I approved. But the fact is, I really have no idea what that means.

If you are one of my friends, or I become one of yours, what does that mean? Is there something special that friends can do, which general community members can't? Do I get a prize for having the most friends, or for being the most popular friend?

I'm serious about this. And I've never gotten a straight answer (even from my friends) as to what benefits or advantages there are to being a friend.

Surely somebody knows???
Joined Apr 3, 2008
I wouldn't know. I just assume that its a way to show someone you like thier words and respect them as an intelligent person.

Course I have not befriended anybody or vice versa. Doesn't mean I don't respect most of you though, I'm kinda a hermit.
Joined Feb 26, 2007
"Friend" - my definition in life. (And, hopefully, here too).

A person who will aid, advise (and doesn't mind if you take or leave that advice) in any given situation. A person who you will reciprocate that with. Someone you respect and expect to receive that same respect from. Someone you can laugh and cry with.

A person who you can call in times of need and can just sit and listen to you pouring your heart out with whatever is troubling you - and not be judgemental. And the same goes vice versa (sp?).

As to here in particular - I would like to think its the same. Of course, in general, we don't really know each other, but form an opinion via peoples' responses to various posts/threads, pms we may receive. People we feel we like. Thus, we find whom we would like to be friends with.

My 2c worth :)

P.S. KYH - keep going till you have the full set :D
Joined Feb 24, 2009
Personally here or other places on the internet or off....if i put someone in for a friend request it is because I think of them as one. plain and simple.

But if there are prizes as KYH suggests that would be good too! hehe
Joined Feb 1, 2007

I certainly have no argument with your definition.

But that's not what I'm asking. All the things you ennumerate would exist whether I had your name and icon lined up in a box on my profile page or not.

And that's what I'm trying to find out. What, if any, function is served by becoming a friend?

The thing is, I've asked that question of administrator, members, moderators, and computernicks here and elsewhere, and nobody has given me an explanation.

I'd hate to think it was just another one of those, "we do it because we can," things that are so common with the internet.
Joined Oct 18, 2007
I think that's an adequate purpose.
Maybe we should start giving out ChefTalk Bucks for each friend you have?
Site money that can be redeemed for cool avatars and colored, glowing usernames?
Joined Jul 21, 2006
I don't have any friends here but do on some other forums I frequent. The only advantage that I see is if you private message someone often and they are on your friends list, you can do it a little faster by clicking their name. I don't know if that's how it works on this software or not. Sometimes I feel that some treat that friends list like they do Facebook, myspace, etc. and it's more a popularity contest. I'm the evil one that goes through and mass deletes people who do not communicate with me on a somewhat regular basis.
Joined Feb 1, 2007
I don't know how that's faster, Allie.

Here, if I want to PM you, I just click on your name and there's a drop-down menu giving me choices.

Your way I would first have to go to my own user cp, then click on the name, then ?, click on the same menu? I'll have to try it with one of the people in my friends box and see what happens.

I just think it stange that people spend time becoming friends and gathering friends, and there's no particular reason to do so.
Joined Feb 1, 2007
OK, so I just checked it out. To send a message to somebody in my friends box takes the following steps:

1. Click on user cp.
2. Click on "contacts & friends" in the networking area.
3. Click on the friend you want to contact.

This takes you to the person's user cp, where you can leave a visitor's message---which, among other things, is different than a PM. One difference: you can't reply directly to it.

Contrarywise, to send a true PM, the steps are:

1. Click on person's name anywhere in the forums.
2. Choose "send a PM" from the drop down menu.
3. Send message.

All in all, much quicker. And I can get a direct response.

I also notice that in my visitor's messages folder there are all sorts of messages from people who I don't even recognize, sometimes with references I don't understand. They are not in my friends box; which means what?
Joined Jun 16, 2007
KYHeirloomer, I've wondered the same thing. I haven't figured out any practical reason to "friend" someone here. It is nice when someone wants to "friend" me, though.
Joined Jan 14, 2007
I just think it stange that people spend time becoming friends and gathering friends, and there's no particular reason to do so.[/QUOTE]

Wow Brook, that is a bit sad?? As some of you know with my job I spend much of my time working with crews I don't know and may never see again.

You and I have been forum buddies for several years and at some point I think through exchanging recipes, ideas and stories became friends. I respect your caring for family, food, growing things. Which brings up the meaning of friends--forum friends exchange things above and through stories do get to know each other.

Sometimes these friendships grow as we go though good times, loss, illness and more. We had a friend on one forum several years back that lost her husband suddenly and was in financial dodo. Several of us pulled the checkbook out and all of us sent prayers.

I went down to Oregon where she lived a few months later--she was frazzled, going through paperwork and more. E-mailed me that she was trying to get the house in order, I replied, I had a hotel and felt like I was visiting an old friend, dust bunnies and all.

When I knocked on her door, there were hugs, a cork popping then we were cooking together--we had your oyster risotto! We talked about forum friends, we had both met several.

On the ships there are people I stay in touch with and there are people I don't, but will never forget. In my neightborhood, have been here 20 years, don't really know a lot of people, but think at some point several could become friends??

Guess it's a defination of friend? Over the last few years, with age and dumb a** illness have lost a lot of people, some I miss every day and others when something brings up a memory.

But this year when I had a medical thing, got a few caring messages from you and friend wife. I kept it pretty quiet, but the messages from several forum friends helped the healing.

Hugs Dude,

just realized your post was refering to the "friend function" on some forums--never under stood that either??? don't respond to those posts--do like pm's however.
Joined Jul 21, 2006
The other board I'm on has a ton of active members so it's not always quick to find a person's posts to send a pm the fast way. If they're on the friends list, then it's faster than searching for them and some of the names are spelled strangely or have various capitals and punctuation that makes it more difficult to just type their name in the pm box. I don't really use that function but I have seen a lot of people mention that it's made things easier for them.

On the topic of forum friends, I do have some amazing friends at several forums. When we needed to make a quick trip to see my ailing father and really didn't have the funds to do so, two different groups on different forums pitched in money to help us make the trip. It was such a blessing to us! I have pitched in to help others when I could from time to time. Many of those online friends have become so much more to me and my family over the years. We even had one stay with us at Christmas for 2 weeks because he would have been completely alone throughout the holidays. The support of my friends through my father's battle with cancer has been priceless. The spontaneous phone calls, private message, e-cards or emails, snail mail, etc. has brought a smile to my face on many dark days.

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