Thoughts on asking someone out to a date at your workplace?

Joined Jun 3, 2014

Backstory for me:

I work at a gastropub, owned by a company that owns some other popular restaurants in the downtown area near me. I get a 50% discount at my place and 25% at restaurants owned by the parent company.

Is it cheap or undesirable or (insert negative adjective here) to ask a girl out / suggest a date at my workplace, or a place where I get a discount at?

Of course I could always drop the vague "we should go get lunch or something sometime" and go from there...

Or I could say "Hey you should come visit me at ____, or we could go together sometime for food and drinks"

Disclaimer: I am drunk right now and am head over heels in love with this girl =/
Joined Nov 2, 2013
It's never a bad idea to take a girl on a date at your job.

Girls love chefs. And in my experience they also like that you'll bring them to your job.

It shows interest that you'll introduce her to your "work family"

Just be careful that you don't focus to much on how your colleagues are doing.. It's easy to forget your date if the place is busy.

Good luck with the girl :)
Joined Dec 18, 2010
I, personally, would never date a girl from work (I married one so I should know why and why-not)... and I always keep my personal life separate from work life.  Too much can go wrong.  But whatever you choose to do, good luck!
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Joined Nov 2, 2013
It's not a girl from his work.
He's asking if he'll seem cheap if he brings a girl on a date at hes work
Joined Dec 18, 2010
The time to get thrifty is after dating a while, or after getting married.  A real man should treat a girl he's head-over-heals in love with with dignity and purpose.  Dropping a vague "maybe we should get lunch sometime" could be interpreted as "let's go dutch"... and surely implies only mild interest.  "Why don't you stop over at my place" is even worse since it transfers all of the active participation to her.  The approach suggested in the OP will not only appear cheap, but also half-hearted.

OP should consider asking her out on a real date.  That way if the interst is mutual he'll be off to a good start.  And if the interest isn't mutual, it will nip the whole relationship in the bud so less time for anxst and unrequited "love".

Someone gave me similar advise when I was young.  I didn't listen and wasted too much time, emotion, and money on worthless "relationships".  The other advise I got long ago and didn't head basically was if all one wants is to get laid... then just ask.

p.s.  I'm assuming that the OP is male.  If that assumption is incorrect, then please substitue pronouns accordingly.
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Joined Apr 4, 2012
If you are really serious I agree that asking her out on a real date is the way to go. I wouldn't take her to the place you work for the first time around. You definitely wouldn't be on the kind of neutral ground that a first date requires and she might feel that it's too much too soon. You would be thrusting her into an environment where you know everyone and everyone knows you AND those people will of course be curious about her--and evaluating her--and she will know that. It's also a level of intimacy that she might find uncomfortable on a first date to be introduced to a bunch of people from your daily life.

As for the restaurants where you don't work but get a discount--I'm on the fence about that. I think I'd take her somewhere else. It could seem a little ungenerous.

If you want to be just friends, then by all means go the casual route with your invitation. It will give a confusing, sort of mixed message to invite her out that way and shields you from making your intentions clear. Is that what you want for this woman?
Joined Jan 4, 2011
I'd take her there in a second ... if the place is really good. Pre-arrange that the staff doesn't treat you like another employee. There is nothing cheap about taking a date to a place where you get a deal ... unless, of course, that place is "Wendy's". If the date is not any good, it didn't cost you big. If she really likes it, you can turn it into something good. "Yeah, I'm glad you liked it. I'm the "Head Chef" (or whatever).". Don't however, make anything out of your working there while you are on this date, in this establishment. Wait until you are gone. If for any odd reason she calls you out, reply, "I took you there because it's a really good place. I am glad you enjoyed it.".

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