The Best of The Worst

Discussion in 'Restaurant Reviews' started by jim berman, Jan 14, 2006.

  1. jim berman

    jim berman

    Messages:
    1,908
    Likes Received:
    273
    Exp:
    Professional Chef

    The 101 Ways to Have a Miserable Dining Experience
    by the contributors of ChefTalk.com


    1. Be sure to 'auction off' food. Who gets the prime rib? And the salmon? Who ordered the salmon?

    2. "Do you need change?" assuming that ALL that money is for my wonderful service.


    ...who's got #3... 4... 5...
     
  2. live_to_cook

    live_to_cook

    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    10
    3. "Are you done with that?" (Or would you like to continue clogging up one of the tables I'm trying so desperately to turn, like the cretinous insect you so clearly are?)

    4. "Hi, my name is LikeICouldPossiblyCare, and I'm going to be your server tonight." (Just in case you wondered why I'm standing here handing you menus.)
     
  3. castironchef

    castironchef

    Messages:
    573
    Likes Received:
    11
    Exp:
    Culinary Instructor
    5. Always treat your guests based upon your perception of how rich and/or important they are. Only the worthy ones should get good service and you're the judge!
     
  4. robinchev

    robinchev

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    10
    Exp:
    Restaurant Manager
    6. Be sure to turn your back on me and hit on my partner...

    7.Ensure I will empathize with your lousy day by telling me in lengthy detail how sick you feel, how badly the kitchen is doing, how shortstaffed you are because management s***s,etc etc etc...
     
  5. mezzaluna

    mezzaluna

    Messages:
    9,204
    Likes Received:
    65
    Exp:
    Cook At Home
    8. "Are you still working on that?" As if eating the food in that place should be a tedious experience....

    9. Leaning your arms on the table and finding stickiness. :eek:
     
  6. jim berman

    jim berman

    Messages:
    1,908
    Likes Received:
    273
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    True story... from an hour ago!

    10. "I'll be right with you... I have to finish sending this text message to my boyfriend." :eek:
     
  7. nicko

    nicko Founder of Cheftalk.com Staff Member

    Messages:
    4,104
    Likes Received:
    187
    Exp:
    Former Chef
    11. After dining for about an hour and a half and spent over $200 in food and wine. "Excuse me would mind leaving we have a lot of people waiting for tables."
     
  8. even stephen

    even stephen

    Messages:
    501
    Likes Received:
    10
    12- shoes, you must look at there shoes! I've known waiters who
    judge the amount of service given purely upon whats on their guests
    feet.
     
  9. chef_bob

    chef_bob

    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    10
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    13 - Enusre guest wait at least 20 minutes for their bill after having asked for it!
     
  10. mezzaluna

    mezzaluna

    Messages:
    9,204
    Likes Received:
    65
    Exp:
    Cook At Home
    14- When the bill total is always given with tax included, so you end up tipping based on the total PLUS tax. :mad:

    I'm never hestant to tip well (I waited tables in another life), but I resent being expected to tip that way.
     
  11. robinchev

    robinchev

    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    10
    Exp:
    Restaurant Manager
    13a) Ensure an additional wait of at least the same 20 minutes before returning with my credit card, change...
     
  12. castironchef

    castironchef

    Messages:
    573
    Likes Received:
    11
    Exp:
    Culinary Instructor
    15 - Be sure to wait until your patrons' tongues are swollen and parched before coming into view and asking if they would like their water/drinks refilled.
     
  13. jim berman

    jim berman

    Messages:
    1,908
    Likes Received:
    273
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    16. "Hi, what can I get for YOUS?"
     
  14. henry

    henry

    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    10
    Exp:
    Home Cook
    17. Being seated near screaming babies and parents who allow their children to scream, throw tantrums and play/drop/throw silverware/food.
     
  15. peachcreek

    peachcreek

    Messages:
    1,106
    Likes Received:
    148
    Exp:
    Retired Chef
    18. Make sure your server waits at least 20 minutes after ordering before informing you that they are out of your entree.
     
  16. peachcreek

    peachcreek

    Messages:
    1,106
    Likes Received:
    148
    Exp:
    Retired Chef
    19. When ordering for vegetarians/ vegans, make sure that the server understands that chicken stock/ beef stock is not "meat", per se...., in fact knowing little or nothing about the menu or food isn't as important as having "a nice personality". And everybody knows that the best waitstaff crouch down right in your face for a more "personal" approach. And if the waitstaff REALLY like you, they may sit down!!!
     
  17. chrose

    chrose

    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    33
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    20. You're kidding! You don't really want to order that do you? Oh well....it's your money...whatever.....
     
  18. pete

    pete Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    4,301
    Likes Received:
    879
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    21. "Yeah...my ride is here, so if you don't mind paying your bill....."
     
  19. cacook

    cacook

    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    11
    Exp:
    Professional Chef
    22. Ensuring that no matter how many times you send your steak back...it willnever be cooked right. (An hour ago)
     
  20. markv

    markv

    Messages:
    572
    Likes Received:
    10
    23. When wine lists don't include the vintages. :mad:

    Mark