She's At It Again and I am wondering...(long, sorry)

Discussion in 'Professional Chefs' started by leeniek, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. leeniek

    leeniek

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    I posted a while back about the foh supervisor being a problem for me and well here we go again.  The KM had dealt with her the last time and things were better for a while but she has slipped back into her old ways. 

    We have to cut hours.. fine we did that so that means more is on us who are on the line.  No big deal.  It also means that I have no time at all for the office part of my job as I am needed on the line and for me the line is more important and the office can wait.  I get the office stuff done in good time but sometimes I have to wait to talk to the KM before I can post stuff. 

    So I did the schedule for next week and I found some places where we can cut hours but I need to run it by the KM before I am willing to post it.  I did print off a copy that is in my notebook and on it I have penned in where I want to cut and what he and I need to talk about.  No big deal.

    Today I had to do fruits so I knew I had alot ahead of me but with the shift cuts the hot side got slammed and I had to step over and help which landed me promptly into the jungle when it came to  my fruit cup prep.  That also meant that I had no time at all to talk to the owner about the BOH schedule and let him know of what I was planning to suggest to the KM.  Again, no big deal. 

    I know the FOH person knew how busy I was.. how could she not?  There were two people on the hot side, me on fruits and one on weekend prep who was called to the hot side more than once to help out. 

    What she did though is something that I am going to address in a meeting tomorrow with her, the KM and the owner.  I am not sure if it was the owner or her who made the decision but the two of them went over the BOH schedule without me.  So the owner comes to me in a fit  and asks me why I have all these cooks in at 7am on a Saturday so I reached for my notebook and showed it to him and told him that what I have noted is there for me to talk to the KM about.  He was Ok after that. 
     

    I'm not angry at all.. in fact I find it kind of  funny that she goes so far out of her way to prove how superior she is. 

    This leaves me wondering.. does she feel that I am a threat to her success??  For crying out loud I am a chef she is a blasted sever/host/pass person but the owner bows to her word. 

    Tomorrow I will warn the KM as I know the owner will be on his rear end and well I want a meeting at end of day tomorrow to address this rat crap.

    Thanks for letting me ramble
     
  2. phatch

    phatch Moderator Staff Member

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    You seem to have a higher than normal incidence of personnel problems. Or at least by what I read here.

    Are they as serious as it seems or do you post as more of a therapeutic vent of minor things for you?

    Because if they are serious, I'm wondering how much of it could be you and you not realize it.

    I know, that's a touchy statement and I hesitated to post it. But it's hard to judge realistically when we get just the one side of the story.

    I had a coworker with whom there was a real communication barrier. We both knew about it and we had to hash things out in crazy detail and go over it again and again to be sure we understood each other. People thought we didn't get along but it was just what it took to work together.

    Phil
     
  3. leeniek

    leeniek

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    I'm just frustrated

    The KM and I bust our butts the she craps rainbows/.
     
  4. leeniek

    leeniek

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    Phatch sadly for the KM and I her word IS the  word according to the owner. Her head is so far up is rear .... well you k now...
     
  5. foodpump

    foodpump

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    Y'know Leeniek, you've got almost as many posts as I do, and I've been posting on this site for at least 4 years now.

    When I read through your post, and remember other dertials you'e provided us at your workplace, I start to see things in a certain way.

    Now, correct me if I'm wrong but............

    -"Stupidvisor" has been at workplace longer than you.

    -Stupidvisor had, at one time,  the owner in the palm of her hand, as well as the kitchen kissing her arse.

    -Seems to me you've made great inroads in cleaning house in regards to kitchen staff, and keeping the kitchen from falling apart.

    Now, I'm not a Romeo and don't know women like a Romeo, and have only one teenage daughter, but it seems like "Stupidvisor" is jealous either of you personally, or what you've achieved.

    Guys, on the other hand, get violent, get over it, and get back to work.  Women are very dangerous, and I can tell you of several teenage suicides here in B.C. of young girls, harrassed by other girls whose main weapons are facebook, gossip, and manipulation of friends.  

    When I was working for other people and was "parachuted" into new places, typical treatment for me, the new guy, was to withold any information possible, gossip/bear false witness, and generally backstab until either I or they left.  I've got about a 50/50 record....

    Ream out or embarrass the stupidvisor infront of the owner, and as sure as god made little green apples, some form of retribution will ensue.  Leave some form of exit or face saving option available for the Stupidvisor, and your odds of retribution are greatly reduced.

    Consider yourself lucky, 'cause if you ever made it into management in a large Union Kitchen, you'd either be dead, sleeping with a bottle, or in a rubber room......
     
  6. trooper

    trooper

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    In the jist of all that has been said, and as replied by our esteemed peers - Watch your rear and think twice about not what you say - but how you say it.

    Start hurling grenades at the queen of the pass and you'll get sacked before the next work schedule is written.

    My advice is this:

    Get everyone into a room on their schedule, not yours. Sell the priority of making the meeting sooner than later.

    Take a deep breath and take your heart/frustration out of the room.

    Ask her and the KM what your area of responsibility is, and what they would rather do themselves. The Owner will see this, trust me...

    For the schedule, back office stuff and other management activities - Ask the kitchen manager what part of your current workload he'd rather someone else do. Then bring up the schedule (your big issue right now)...

    "It has been busy and I understand why you guys worked the schedule. I had already completed a plan for review, but you guys had already addressed it. I'd like to know if you two are going to keep doing the schedule, because i can better plan my workload in the kitchen knowing you guys have this taken care of."

    Then the cards are down on the table. If they take it, fine. If they throw it back at you that's what you want...

    "OK, I do the schedule. If you have any changes please let me know as soon as you have them so I can notify staff and make adjustments in a reasonable time."

    Any time you can explain something in a rational tone, and hold your ground at the same time  - you win.

    DON'T lock horns with someone who has a cuter ass than you do. You will lose every time.
     
  7. leeniek

    leeniek

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    I have been there longer than she has and so has the KM.  I do not run to the owner with every little issue like she does, instead I do my best to resolve things on my own and when I can't I then look to the owner for support.  I will let him know that I had to deal with a, b, c and d is the outcome of all of that but I will not run to him with " Jane just said it is too hot on fruits, can we ask people to keep the door closed while they wait in line?" and yep she did that to me in the summer.  She has done similar things to the KM as well and both of us have learned not to tell her anything we do not want to go any farther.  I am sure it is a jealousy/insecurity thing on her side but it is annoying and frustrating all the same.  I think she is using us to show her superiority and well it has to stop.  The KM  has a hot temper and I know he is going to hit the roof when I tell him.  Also little miss sunshine messed up big time.  One of our guys seriously cut himself when he was at work and she only put in his hours for the time he was there.  Under the workplace safety act he should have been paid for the entirety of his shift and he also should have been reimbursed for his cab ride.  I'm going to let the KM handle that one.  I guess brains and baggy pants get one to where one is in the kitchen but a wiggly ass and tight pants get one farther...
     
  8. chefross

    chefross

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    Such drama............
     
  9. chefedb

    chefedb

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    I have to agree with Phatch. With all the postings on this site YOU seem to have the most problems. Why dont you either go with the flow or Quit. Certainly with what you heve encountered and learned in this place can be put to a more  positive use in another facility.. If I had to put up with all you say you do, I would have been on borderline of ulcers. But I would not have let it get this far I would have split. Perhaps you should stop worrying what the other person does and look at your actions toward ALL of them. Tell you something if you or any of your cohorts created all this DRAMA in my kitchen ,ALL  of you  would be HISTORY..

      As far as your comments re. the guy who cut himself, it's really none of your business.l Concern yourself with yourself and your job.not others
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2011
  10. chefbillyb

    chefbillyb

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    Like that great philosopher "Rodney King" once said:

    People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it, making it horrible for the older people and the kids?...It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything. We’ll, we’ll get our justice....They won the battle, but they haven't won the war....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out.[25]  

    This is what I tell my employees, If you can't get a long with another employee, I really don't give a ****. I hired you to do a job, I pay you to do that job, figure it out..............I also tell them they have to manage themselves and their emotions, they are paid to get the job done and get along. I don't give a **** if they don't like each other, but while they are working in my restaurant and serving my customers, they better do it in a professional manner..................................ChefBillyB
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2011
  11. trooper

    trooper

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    Scope of Work, Area of Responsibility and Personal Accountability - Probably the best thing the owner can do with this situation is draw little boxes around everyone, so everyone has a clear picture of what they need to do and what they don't have authority to do or worry about.

    When you go home at the end of the day, and something is on your mind from work that is really eating at you . . . . Do you think the person you're upset with has you on their mind when they get home?

    Don't let people live inside your head unless they are paying rent.
     
  12. petemccracken

    petemccracken

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    Though you may be able to guide someone towards a goal you believe important, you cannot change someone else's behavior.

    Though someone else may guide you toward a goal they believe important, they cannot change your behavior.

    Only YOU can change YOUR behavior, just as THEY can change only THEIR behavior.

    Sometimes, if YOU change the way you try to guide someone else THEY will respond by changing THEIR behavior to accomplish YOUR goal.
     
  13. trooper

    trooper

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    Quote:
    Damn, chef, that's profound. : )
     
     
  14. leeniek

    leeniek

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    I'm sorry if I come off as whiny, full of myself or downright b****y but I really need to vent sometimes and I find this site to be a great outlet for that and I really do appreciate all of your points of view as it helps me to make the best decision I can given the situation.  I  look to all of you for your experience as I am sure you all were in my shoes at some point in your respective careers. 

    Yes part of my issues do lie  in my lap  and I freely admit that.  I have very high standards for myself and I expect those around me to have the same.  In a perfect world that would be but that is just not the case in the real world and it is a bitter pill to swallow at times.  I have always been the lone cook or one of few so working with a bunch has been a huge learning experience for me as well as an eye opener to say the very least.  To this day I cannot fathom how cooks can work drunk, stoned or both.....me,  after a couple drinks I am useless and I just want to put my feet up and watch tv.  My drug use is very limited.. tried pot.. hated it, tried mushrooms.. hated the hangover, tried acid.. same story as mushrooms and that is it for me. 

    I do have an update to my story and I will post it separately.

    PS.. Bill I like your style and the KM and I are borrowing from you ... 
     
  15. leeniek

    leeniek

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    This morning I was seeing dead people.  I brought in a cook two hours early so he could do the stocking on fruits that I was unable to do yesterday.  Can I say that that was a huge waste of money and the KM and should have done it ourselves?? Holy Hannah...  This cook was doing dishes, cleaning what had already been cleaned .. you name it and his station had NO stock and his line was full of empty inserts.  For me it was no surprise as I left him a note for Saturday's open and I specifically said " go on the prep list IMMEDIATELY and leave the stocking and prepping of the kitchen for me"  Did he do that.. NOPE and we were effed all day thanks to him.  I just looked at the KM and said... nice waste of $$ I could have had the station ready to  go and he could have shown up for 9am.  He was all crabby too... he does NOT read his bills and hates it when we have to correct him.  He had a bagel lox  with potatoes early in the day and what does he do... make a fruit plate for it... I corrected him and OMG he was so snarly with me and I looked at him and told him to read his tickets.  ACK!\

    As for little miss sunshine the KM and I did put her in her place on Saturday.  It apparently didn't go too far as I heard about the amount of perrier water I drink in a week this morning.  The KM thinks it is BS and I must agree but well we just work there.  On Friday I paid for three perriers and I always pay for what I consume.  I do take monkey bowls of soup for tasting and that I do not pay for and no one besides miss sunshine has an issue with that.  Thanks to her anyone who puts perrier water on their tab must pay full price now.  Seems she has an issue with my paying for three at one time.  How high school is the latest BS with her??? 

    She is the problem when it comes to issues and Saturday she was just too much and the KM told her where to go.  I was alone on fruits and landed  in the weeds so KM helped me,  He asked me to call for a bagel down and when I did she was miss mouthy.. yes we have a toaster on line and NO I had no time for the blasted bagel and I needed FOH suppport for that as I was running a two man statioin solo

    She is the reason the KM and I are looking for new jobs,,, and if we both quit at the same time there will be lots of mud on miss sunshine's face....
     
  16. chefedb

    chefedb

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    Leeniek!

    I learned something a long time ago re. "If I leave statement"  The dishwashers did not show up, we were short 3 guys in kitchen, 4 waitstaff didn't show, The chef had a stroke behind the stove.and the sous was away on vacation. BUT Somehow it all got done.  Maybe not quit as good, but it got done so never think you or the km are not replacable.!  And the job getting done makes Ms. Sunshine look better.
     
  17. prairiechef

    prairiechef

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    "For crying out loud I am a chef she is a blasted sever/host/pass person ...   "

    That's your problem right there. Lose the attitude. If you think it, if you can write it, then she can feel it. Do you have to like her? No. Do you have to be friends with her? No. But you do have to lose the superiority complex. For every legit complaint you have about her, she has one about you.

    You say that she needs to see how busy you are? Ok, fine... how does that translate to the guest? Simple... the guest doesn't care. The guest doesn't care if you're in the weeds, if you're shortstaffed, etc. She has to deal with them, and you. And YOU are a major source of stress in HER day, just as she is in yours.

    Go to work, bust your ass, answer the questions that are put to you by your manager's as best you can, and work with your FOH manager to ensure your guests get the best service possible. That's your job. If all of a sudden, Perrier is off the menu for staff (as it should be... seriously?)... suck it up. Nod and get back to work.

    You have a KM, let him live and die by his choices. You are not the KM.

    Bottom line, you can take this as you please, I offer it as an opinion formed after many years in the business...You need to get out. You hate your job. Quit. Find another.
     
  18. durangojo

    durangojo

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    ok leeniak,

    just one more chime...a friend once told me that 'the graveyards are full of indispensable people'. if this job is making you physically ill or a mentally psychotic or so angry all the time, its time...actually past time, to move on. are you sure you cannot work this out? it will take some work on both parts, but think about what a great force you could be if you were both working together... all that negativity turned into positive, constructive energy...holy cow! there are so many things that can go wrong at any given moment or any given day in the restaurant business..wouldn't it be nice to know that someone good, strong and positive has your back? make her your ally, not your adversary.....that buys nothing...do your job, make a difference...you'll always shine...this shouldn't/can't be a contest. she will rise or fall on her own merits, trust me. maybe you could sit down with a bottle of wine or two and talk, talk, talk....communication always being the common denominator...you both have much to say and work out....

    given the economic climate and good jobs(especially restaurant jobs) being so hard to find, do you really, can you really afford to leave? don't you have children to raise? you really need to either work this out, move on, or at the very least, take some time off...distance has a great way of putting the things that really matter into perspective....also,if you leave, then you will carry that anger with you into your new job, and lay blame that she made you leave...then, in your mind, she will have 'won'...think just how much your whole life and the life of your family will change because you cannot get past this, work this through...you are more than this, better than this..expect more from yourself...maybe think of this as your greatest challenge!.....bon chance, mon ami...

    joey
     
  19. chefbillyb

    chefbillyb

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    Hi Leeniek, your getting a lot of good advice from people who go through the same thing you do everyday. I have had many battles in the Kitchen,Bar, Dinning room, basically every dam part of this business. I have never won any of these battles by yelling louder than the other person, and I can yell real loud. I have won the battles with these people by being smarter than they are, In most cases they will hang themselves. If I let them know they are getting to me, they win. If I show anger and frustration, they win. This person is probably getting a lot of enjoyment at your expense. When you go back to work this week, concentrate on the positive things going on in the kitchen. If the KM is an alley then use him/her as your sounding board and deal with them. Start working well with the FOH Manager for the betterment of the restaurant, a quality manager see the whole picture and not just a small portion of what is really going on. I know you as a Woman with very high standards, determination to get the job done and go above and beyond what people expect of you. Starting tomorrow, realize that by not getting along with the FOH Manager, your hurting your goals and the goals of the restaurant. Be the bigger person, be the best leader you can be, and I guarantee you will be the winner in the long run.......................I have done well in this business because of the lessons learned, not becauce of the battles I have one. The true character of a good manager shows on how they carry themselves daily, they are not judged on how many battles they win, but how they conductued themselves in the process..................Follow your heart..................................The Best..................Bill
     
  20. foodpump

    foodpump

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    You're getting more advice here than a pregneant nun here.

    Take Bill's statement for instance and now think back to primary school.  Remember the "sub" teachers"?  Remember how innocent young 9 yr olds could drive a sub to tears?

    You pick away at Stupidviser and she picks away at whatever she can find on you, in this case it's Perrier.  Maybe next time she'll find out you brush your teeth with Colgate instead of Crest, and use that on you.

    I once worked with a human snake, the ass. F&B of a large (7,000 member) Club.  Every question he asked was land mine, every time he opened his mouth it was pure danger.  After a week I quickly learned to answer his opening qustion of "How are things?" with a very neutral "Never a dull moment".  Everything I did was wrong, every molecule of air I breathed was wasted, etc. etc.  One day my luck changed and by pure chance I caught two waiters cheating on guest tickets and pocketing money.  I thought very carefully, and came to the conclusion that as he was my next in chain-of-command I would report it directly to him.  He was furious at me, I mean his face turned the colour of a rotten strawberry.  With great effort I told him in as neutral a tone of voice I could muster that he was indeed the next in chain, and although I could go directly over his head to the F&B himself or the the GM I chose him first. His mess, not mine, and I would follow it up with a inter office memo to him only, with one copy mailed back to myself which I would keep unopened until such a time as I would ever have to open it infront of the GM.

    I got peace out of him but quit as soon as I could, becasue I knew his nature would be to set me up as soon as he could