She's a bad cook. How can I tell her that?

Discussion in 'Food & Cooking' started by nicholas1962, Aug 20, 2018.

  1. nicholas1962

    nicholas1962

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    I always knew that most Colombian women are fond of cooking and are good cooks. My wife is a Colombian and is indeed fond of cooking, however, she not a good cook. She loves cooking but cooks terribly. We just got married two weeks ago and I’m so glad that she wants to cook for me. But I don’t like its taste. I don’t want her to be upset when I tell her that. How should I do it?
     
  2. Pat Pat

    Pat Pat

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    She never cooked for you before? Why didn't you let her know that when you were still dating? It'd have been a lot more harmless back then.
     
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  3. brianshaw

    brianshaw

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    Learn to like it. You have a long marriage ahead of you... hopefully. :)

    But try this: cook for her and talk aloud as you do that so she can learn. Or buy a good basic cookbook and see if she’ll use it.

    I had a very similar bride. Still have her too. It wasn’t easy but some gentle suggestions (and brutal fights as a result) eventually go the point through. Be honest, but not brutally honest... about everything except her parents.
     
  4. salty dog

    salty dog

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    Cook together. Then you can see where she goes wrong and you can try to make corrections.

    Though maybe its not so much that she does something wrong, just not they way you like it.

    Maybe she's a great cook and you have terrible taste. :)

    Actually at this stage of your marriage communication is the key.

    She might like her cooking so it might just come down to personal taste.

    I suspect as she learns what you like she'll try to achieve it.
     
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  5. chefbillyb

    chefbillyb

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    If you ever want to have sex again in your lifetime shut up and eat her food.
     
  6. cheflayne

    cheflayne

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    Why tell her? Think long and hard about the actual motives behind your wanting to tell her. Don't just go with the first easy answer that pops into your head.

    When I am faced with the possibility of delivering some less than positive news, I ask myself "Is it kind? Is it necessary?"

    She cooks with love and out of love for you.
     
  7. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    First and foremost do not tell her you don’t like her cooking. You can be honest about not liking a certain dish or something but never ever tel her you don’t like all of her cooking.

    Second, if she enjoys cooking then surprise her with couples cooking classes. It’s very romantic and you’ll both learn a lot. That way you can share the responsibility of cooking in your kitchen.

    Third, learn to appreciate her cooking and praise her for the things she does well, I am certain there are things she can do well.
     
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  8. sgsvirgil

    sgsvirgil

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    Is she a "bad cook" in the sense that she can burn water? Or is she a "bad cook" in the sense that she has reasonably good technique and skills, but, you simply don't like the food she makes?

    If its a matter of simply not liking the style of food, simply tell her so and why in a constructive manner. My wife dislikes soups and stews. It doesn't matter how good they are. She's just not a fan. When she told me, she made it a point to distinguish the fact that she doesn't like soup in general and that it was not "my" soup that she didn't like.

    If she's just a terrible cook from the ground up, that's a whole different story. There's no easy way to fix that mess.

    You could try to steer her towards cook books or cooking classes disguised as "fun things" to do together. Cooking classes can be fun. You could also take an interest in cooking. What woman doesn't love a man that can cook?

    Good luck. :)
     
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  9. r.shackleford

    r.shackleford

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    1. You love her so you will love her food
    2. She's Columbian, you better eat her food

    My wife and i have been married for 20 years and when people ask if she cooks at home i just reply with "probably"
     
  10. meezenplaz

    meezenplaz

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    First off, lmao @chefbilly. You always seem to have your priorities straight. :)

    Welcome to cheftalk nicholas.
    Im with those who say you need to analyize the problem.
    Like "Honey, I really appreciate your cooking for me but
    there's something you're doing that isn't hitting my taste buds
    right let's see if we can figure it out together."

    You didnt specify if its just certain kinds of dishes, or if
    the taste you dont like is a common one to all she makes.
    Could be spice combination, or similar.

    Also....I must ask, does she really enjoy the cooking?
    Thing is, at the risk sounding metakooky, I'm sure a number of chefs
    here will agree, even if silently that food really can taste better if the
    one cooking it loves doing it, and not so good if its being done as a chore or
    necessity.
    Not only have I seen this for family members but I have actually
    noticed it when cooking in a commercial environment, and guest
    feedback has bore it out.
    After all, in cooking we're working with an organic substance,
    we're organic ourselves, and there is indisbutably an energy,
    be it positive or negative when dealing with organics.
    And like infusing wine into course mushrooms, that positive
    energy can and does seep into the finished dish. Or neutral,
    or even negative as the case may be.
    Just another aspect to think about.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2018
  11. kronin323

    kronin323

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    I don't think we should jump the gun and assume Nicholas himself can cook. Just not enough context in the OP to properly answer, other than he's skating on thin ice.

    And I too am amazed the discovery of her cooking happened post-marriage...
     
  12. meezenplaz

    meezenplaz

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    Well see to be honest, I have trouble with the concept of somebody actually being a bad cook.
    Maybe because I havent moved in "bad cook circles" in a while, but the way I see it,
    there are actually 2 categories..... someone who cooks, has cooking skills, but their
    food consistently turns out ...unpleasing to the palette. I would indeed term that person
    a bad cook. However, I personally feel thats not vey common, and Im not sure
    how to explain why someones actually a ...bad cook.

    I consider the second category to be much more common place-- that is a person who can't cook.
    IMO not to be confused with the bad cook, as someone who can't cook simply has not learned the
    skills necessary to do so. There actually ARE people who cant boil water. They just dont know the
    ass end of a saucepan, and have no clue how to use a stove or utensils. They usually burn eggs,
    make bland pancakes, etc, not because they are bad cooks, but they just dont know how.
    Also such people usually don't LIKE cooking very much, e.g., they had bad experiences, it's a real
    chore to them etc. Which goes to that negative energy that I spoke of above.
     
  13. kronin323

    kronin323

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    I'm calculating the odds that this thread is a troll post...
     
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  14. drirene

    drirene

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    Lol
    Yup kronin, it is a troll. Look what happens when you google it.

    But, heck, just think how fashionably skinny the OP will get! :rolleyes:
     
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  15. meezenplaz

    meezenplaz

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    I never much minded troll threads, provided they initiate an interesting discussion.
    Some good replies here to be sure. This boards existed in excess of 17 years now,
    trolling is just part of the game, like....like all these ads.
     
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  16. iridium12

    iridium12

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    Ah yes - the troll thread :)

    But it has sparked an interesting conversation about marriage and cooking ;) - and has definitely moved me to not have that conversation about dry chicken with my better half :rofl:
     
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  17. pete

    pete Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm lucky as my wife is a great cook and an excellent baker (when it comes to desserts) so I really can't relate to the OP, but my suggestion is enroll her in a few "fun" cooking classes. Use the excuse that since she likes to cook so much, you thought she might enjoy taking a few classes also. God forbid, don't tell her she's not a good cook, but if there are a few of her dishes that you really, really don't like just say to her that those are not your favorite dishes, but be sure to tell her what dishes of hers you do like. I can't believe that everything she cooks is terrible.
     
  18. millionsknives

    millionsknives

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    You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, and know when to run
     
  19. kronin323

    kronin323

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    Well I do all the cooking at my house and The Wife has no problem with telling me when she doesn't like something...
     
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  20. pete

    pete Moderator Staff Member

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    Yeah, but how long have you been married. I also tell my wife when she makes something I don't like, but we've been together over 20 years. This guy is newly married and I agree it can be a touchy subject. Best not to end the honeymoon by telling the wife that she sucks at cooking!
     
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