self promotion, can't beat it

Discussion in 'New User Introductions' started by thesautesamurai, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. thesautesamurai


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    Culinary Student
    hello, my name is kevin woods and you're reading an excerpt from the vibrant gardens of my once fresh and enthusiastic young mind. years from now a bespeckled cyber anthropologist will be bent over this document, it's bandwith torn and yellow with age, trying to decipher my neandertal tardspeak  as my wordy introduction to the culinary world pours from the page leaving an acrid pretentious puddle on the chrome carpeted floor. as the scribbly hyroglyphs one at a time begin to relinquish their meaning, i can only imagine what may be going through the head of my gawky ambassador to the future. who knows. if his translation skills aren't quite up to par, through some hyper ironic twist of fate i could end up being the next jesus. but assuming his eyes and brain work reasonably well, it'll probably be something more along the lines of "jesus ------- ------". on this site i plan to detail my culinary career in all its obscene idiosyncrasies so that one day when i am old, senile and incontinent i can look back on this and have one last laugh before i gracefully shit my pants and die. everything from my eventual externship in amsterdam to my travels to my eventual place of peace. btw, if you find yourself using the word "eventual" twice in the same sentence, it's probably time to get started. cheers.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2012
  2. kaneohegirlinaz


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    I Just Like Food
    Aloha, Welcome to Chef Talk, Kevin Woods.  I’m sure that you’ve already found that the membership here is from all around the world, with skill levels varying from Professionals to Home Cooks and everything in between. Feel free to join the conversation or start your own relevant thread.  

    You might want to utilize the Search bar at the top of the page, as many topics have been discussed previously.  The Articles, Reviews and Galleries are of note as well.  Should you have questions in regards to the website that are not addressed in the FAQ, Tutorials or the Community Guidelines, please feel free to Private Message a Moderator or an Admin person. 

    Everyone here is very helpful and we treat one another with the utmost respect.
  3. petalsandcoco


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    Private Chef
    Welcome to cheftalk Samurai, if you think you have idiosycrasies, you haven't seen anthing yet. Hop aboard and don't hesistate to enlighten us.

    Pretentious puddle you say ?

    Look forward to seeing you around the site.