Hello all my name is Mike I have been away from the industry for 12 years due to an illness . I have had a very severe case of bipolar disorder. It has been unlike a normal case because it took 10 years to find medications that would work with me . Two years ago in a hospital the presented me with a medication that was on trial I had been on 99% of whats on the current market pharmaceutically so I said what the hell ! Well I went for it . It worked in 3 days after my first dose I was on my feet and my moods , and emotions were finally stable . 2 years ahead to now I'm very stable now and calm all the time I hardly ever even swear out of anger . This has been a very hard , emotional, and trying part of my life. When I was 30 I got out of the field of pastry due to an illness as I said . I literally dropped it dropped out of the field I was burnt out not only from the industry but dealing with extreme emotions and an emotional illness as well I dont know how I did it to be honest. I went to pastry school on 1998 and 6 months later all the mood disorder stuff took off an running I was sick for all of school and sick after I graduated . I worked for 5 years sick and at this point not being able to function in society I gave up as I should have. Well now its 12 years later and I'm ready to start again in the industry I loved so much I am stronger , wiser , healthier, warmer , 90X more honest with others and myself . I think the biggest problem with my career before was "me" I think I got in the way of all my doings with food. I cant wait to start up again now that I'm stable and in check. I probably now will be more successful because I needed time to grow up and stop joking around all the time . I had a huge alcohol problem , a drug dependency , poor people skills, I was not really all that serious as I am now i really want to succeed in this this time . To grow strong strong and become the best baker/pastry cook I can I don say chef this time because its not about the title for me this time as it was so much before . I am not to be honst with you am really concerned with how much I earn either, you see if have been on disability for 10 year I have not made over 15K a year in 10 years so if I make 25 K my first year out will be happy. It took me a long time to learn money is only there for the things you need or want . if you dont want much you dont need much money this time I'm not doing this for money I'm doing this for me . I have different goals this time as well before it was to make as much money as possible period. Now i want to learn and grow an ice carving company, i want to do sugar sculpture and centerpiece displays for weddings in sugar an or corporate events. Id like to do sugar sculpture for company logos and candy production. molds ect... Id like to have a small bakery an make cakes , and wedding cakes , and a small bread production runs. i live in a small town in western MA where the only other bakery stuff is super markets I'm gona do what they dont and do it better and some stuff that they do as well. Id like to make the desserts for restaurants individualized for each establishment I will for a premium I will make custom one of a kind desserts for restaurants and caterers . and do delivery as well to all local venues . Well its good dream big and it feels great to finally dream about something i can really sink my teeth into because I dont know about anything else I can do for money I have skills in nothing else but food especially bakery craft . So In making it my life work I still dream about it after 12 years of sickness and will soon hopefully start to make money at what give me a lot of pleasure in producing. Technically I probably should not be trying this though my doctor is so excited as well as my shrink thinks its a great idea to go for it and regain my place in my profession its good . I have missed my sense of pride , my feeling of goodness, my feeling of what makes me special . for years I have felt like a hollow shell of a man meds made me emotionless and time has beaten me up I have beaten my self up for years and its good tithing its all ok now . I have started making stuff in my apartment pate choux, and mousse cakes, and 101 things i can do with gelatin , and cookies and such a few loaves of bread it feel good to make stuff . I have looked over all my books and notes and recipes and ya know after 12 years in theory I still remember how to do all of it . I still remember how things taste even recipes I dId not do much this is so cool . Everyone I talk to in town wants me to start a bakery do I think I will , after year or so and I get my skills figured out and line things out . Well thanks of reading my story and hopefully you might give me inspiration to get going and do well . If you have had a similar situation in your life please share it it would be great well thanks alot and have a good much success to you .