Management speak.


Joined Mar 2, 2006
Management Speak
manager says: A number of different approaches are being tried
manager means: We are still grasping at straws

manager says: We're working on a fresh approach to the problem
manager means: We just hired three kids fresh out of CIA

manager says: Close project coordination
manager means: We know who to blame

manager says: Major culinary breakthrough
manager means: It tastes OK, but looks GREAT

Manager says: Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured
Manger means: We are so far in the weeds that the customer
is happy to get it delivered

manager says: Preliminary menu tests were inconclusive
manager means: The darn thing caught fire when we put it in the oven

manager says: The new concept results were extremely gratifying
manager means: We are so surprised that the stupid thing works

manager says: The entire concept will have to be abandoned
manager means: The only person who understood whats going on quit

manager says: It is in process
manager means: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the
situation is hopeless

manager says: We'll look into it
managermeans: Forget it! I have enough problems for now

manager says: Please read and initial
manager means: Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake

manager says: Give us the benefit of your thoughts
manager means: Chef we'll listen to what you say as long as it
doesn't interfere with what we've already decided

manager says: Give us your interpretation
manager means: I can't wait to hear this!

manager says: See me/Let's Discuss
manager means: Come into my office, I'm lonely

manager says: All new!
manager means: Ingeredients used in the new menu are not available or not in the current inventory

manager says: Rustic
manager means: Too heavy eat!

manager says: Light fare
manager means: Lighter than rustic

manager says: Years of building the right team
manager means: One finally worked

manager: Increased labor and food cost savings
manager means: When the restaurant is closed

manager says: Quick sauce preparation
manager means: Impossible to fix if broken

manager says: Adjusted menu during testing
manager means: We hit it with more salt

manager says: It took some persuasion.
manager means: We hit it several times with a rolling pin.

manager says: It must be in the new budget analysys.
manager means: I have no ****ing clue what I am doing... but I'm going to take the credit for it

can anyone contribute or relate?
Joined Jan 9, 2010
Love it. But you forgot:

Manager says: "Grazing is not allowed."
Manager means: "Quit eating my fries."

Manager says: "As a whole, the management has decided..."
Manager means: "The guy who signs the checks says..."

Manager says: "We're trying out a new product."
Manager means: "This one was cheaper."

Manager says: "They sent us the wrong one."
Manager means: "I ordered the wrong one."

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