Management speak.

Discussion in 'Professional Chefs' started by rat, Jan 24, 2010.

  1. rat


    Likes Received:
    Professional Chef
    Management Speak
    manager says: A number of different approaches are being tried
    manager means: We are still grasping at straws

    manager says: We're working on a fresh approach to the problem
    manager means: We just hired three kids fresh out of CIA

    manager says: Close project coordination
    manager means: We know who to blame

    manager says: Major culinary breakthrough
    manager means: It tastes OK, but looks GREAT

    Manager says: Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured
    Manger means: We are so far in the weeds that the customer
    is happy to get it delivered

    manager says: Preliminary menu tests were inconclusive
    manager means: The darn thing caught fire when we put it in the oven

    manager says: The new concept results were extremely gratifying
    manager means: We are so surprised that the stupid thing works

    manager says: The entire concept will have to be abandoned
    manager means: The only person who understood whats going on quit

    manager says: It is in process
    manager means: It is so wrapped up in red tape that the
    situation is hopeless

    manager says: We'll look into it
    managermeans: Forget it! I have enough problems for now

    manager says: Please read and initial
    manager means: Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake

    manager says: Give us the benefit of your thoughts
    manager means: Chef we'll listen to what you say as long as it
    doesn't interfere with what we've already decided

    manager says: Give us your interpretation
    manager means: I can't wait to hear this!

    manager says: See me/Let's Discuss
    manager means: Come into my office, I'm lonely

    manager says: All new!
    manager means: Ingeredients used in the new menu are not available or not in the current inventory

    manager says: Rustic
    manager means: Too heavy eat!

    manager says: Light fare
    manager means: Lighter than rustic

    manager says: Years of building the right team
    manager means: One finally worked

    manager: Increased labor and food cost savings
    manager means: When the restaurant is closed

    manager says: Quick sauce preparation
    manager means: Impossible to fix if broken

    manager says: Adjusted menu during testing
    manager means: We hit it with more salt

    manager says: It took some persuasion.
    manager means: We hit it several times with a rolling pin.

    manager says: It must be in the new budget analysys.
    manager means: I have no ****ing clue what I am doing... but I'm going to take the credit for it

    can anyone contribute or relate?
  2. discgolfjoe


    Likes Received:
    Line Cook
    Love it. But you forgot:

    Manager says: "Grazing is not allowed."
    Manager means: "Quit eating my fries."

    Manager says: "As a whole, the management has decided..."
    Manager means: "The guy who signs the checks says..."

    Manager says: "We're trying out a new product."
    Manager means: "This one was cheaper."

    Manager says: "They sent us the wrong one."
    Manager means: "I ordered the wrong one."