Kitchen languages!

Discussion in 'The Late Night Cafe (off-topic)' started by rbandu, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. rbandu

    rbandu

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    Not sure where everyone's from, but in my experience I've heard a lot of phrases that I've had to laugh about...some I've actually had to google, then laugh about.  Busting out my character map for grammar purposes here.

    "Putain! PUTAIN DE + <an unintelligible long string of words no one could possibly understand>" 

    - I personally love this one.  You throw "putain de" in front of any noun and people know you're serious.

    "Porco DIO!"

    - This was something you could hear from the kitchen regularly when I was younger.  It was normally followed by "non cappice n'a cazze." and someone getting bitchslapped.

    What else do you people have?  Any stories? 
     
  2. petalsandcoco

    petalsandcoco

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    Calling  God a pig (Italian) and someone a prostitute (French)..........ummmmmmmmm

    Petals.
     
  3. michaelga

    michaelga

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    what gets said in the kitchen stays in the kitchen... and for good reason....
     
  4. rbandu

    rbandu

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    Hahaha.  I'm not saying these were the most reputable places I've ever worked for, however the majority of my french slang as well as my italian came from the chefs that'd drop those phrases faster then they'd season a steak.  Not trying to offend anyone or anything.
     
  5. siduri

    siduri

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    Nothing i didn;t hear worse of at home from my mother's, shall we say, colorful and essentially sacrilegious Tuscan swearing.  She usually spoke English but her swearing knew no language boundaries.  And nobody can beat the Tuscans.
     
  6. duckfat

    duckfat

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    Classy.

    I can think of plenty of things not worth repeating but why go there with such a lovely tongue as French or Italian.

    When my wife brings my morning coffee...

     "Sei caduta dal cielo perché assomigli ad un angelo?"

    Dave
     
  7. petalsandcoco

    petalsandcoco

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    Smooth...../img/vbsmilies/smilies/thumb.gif

    Petals.
     
  8. nadastar

    nadastar

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    I love sending a new server to look for the bacon stretcher for me when I'm super busy.  Once I had a bartender that was dumber than a box of rocks, one night I asked her to get the bananna peerler from the bar for me......after about 15 minutes she came back in the kitchen and said...I swear to God "Ummm I can't find the bannana peeler,.......couldn't you just use your hands?"

    Anyone else have mythical appliances they send people for?  I don't know why but this prank really makes me smile. 

    Nicknames:

       Bubble Dancer.....Dishwasher(no disrespect to the life blood of the industry but I frikking love this nickname)

    Anyone else have good nicknames?
     
  9. cook not mad

    cook not mad

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    broiler stretcher , left handed monkey wrench , buckets of steam , chicken lips . My personal fave is to get someone to chop flour and please use 2 knives to be done quicker.
     
  10. kuan

    kuan Moderator Staff Member

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    LOL!  Yeah, my wife used to refer to it as kitchen mouth.
     
  11. rbandu

    rbandu

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    Dishwasher:  Pot Monkey, Pearl Diver, Sultan of Suds, Dishpan Sam,  Bubble Baby

    Pantry: Salad Tosser, 

    Saute Cook: Pan Jockey, Pan tosser, Jumper

    Fry Cook (if it's just fry): Bitch.

    Broiler: Flame Warden, Flame Wrangler, Flamer, Firefighter

    Sous Chef: #1, Riker, Leche-cul

    911/restock/backup guy: Hopper

    Prep: Scapegoat, Carpenter, bitch.

    CDC: YES CHEF

    EC: YES SIR, CHEF SIR

    ;)
     
  12. siduri

    siduri

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    Hmm, pecking orders - put down the lower ones, suck up to the higher ones -  maybe you're ALL a bunch of chickens/img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

    .
     
  13. derek still

    derek still

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    I have never worked in a professional kitchen, just home kitchens, but I did ask my wife [before our divorce lol] "I'm going to have to weigh a lot out here hun, could you get me the long weight, please?

    After a while I said "I've had a long wait" where have you been?"  It was blessed peace in our house for the next few hours, she left me on my own and wouldn't speak.  heaven!
     
  14. soignee

    soignee

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    We used to send the new guy next door for the squeegee sharpener...

    They would send them to the next restaurant down as they had "loaned" it out as well!

    Lots of fun!
     
     
  15. durangojo

    durangojo

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    just before the rush on a busy night i say, 'pucker up'......and i'm not talking about lips!

    joey