Kitchen Humor

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Joined Jan 29, 2010
I need you to get me a can of elbow grease, or a bucket of steam have always been my favorite. I once got duck eggs at a local asian market, I didn't know they had unborn ducklings inside of them, I brought them back to the shop and was going to make myself a nice duck egg omelet for lunch, imagine my horror when I crack the egg open and find the baby duck inside. I of course didn't want to be the only one of my staff to experience this so I had four different people on four different occasions crack one of the eggs for me. It was a really fun day.
 
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Joined Jan 29, 2010
Also another prank I like to pull is to take sour cream and smear it on the back of a handle to a reach in or a deli unit, I then watch my cook or sous open the reach in or deli unit ending up with the sour cream all over their hand I then ask them "playing with your meat again?" or something wise to that effect.

I once had a server who was always trying to upsell to get a bigger tip I took a quarter and threw it on the grill for about 10 minutes, then took a pair of tongs and threw it on the ground, the server walked into the kitchen a moment later at which time I pointed out the coin on the floor, it was really funny and very cruel watching them burn their finger picking up the coin.

I once got a server to eat a cod fish eye after making fumet telling them that I had gotten in beluga caviar for a special and I really wanted them to try it so they could sell it to the guests, it was funny but having to mop up his vomit and getting it from my boss later was not so fun.
 
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Joined Feb 7, 2010
Pouring vinegar into someone's drink left sitting around. A paste of cayenne pepper spread over cookies which have been pilfered. Chocolate dipped garlic or crisco left sitting on a plate for someone to steal.
 
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Joined Oct 18, 2007
Still love the espresso puck with chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
Also, a cider vinegar "iced tea" is sure to get a laugh....from those that watch.
 
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Joined Jan 23, 2010
one of my favourite tricks is to hard boil some eggs in the evening, cool them and then put them back on top of the tray of eggs ready for the breakfast chef in the morning :D
 
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Joined Feb 7, 2010
The night crew would occationally put a few of the metal mixing bowls up high on a shelf so you have to reach up for it, and they would fill it to the rim w/ water. You naturally tip the edge when taking it off the shelf.....Splash!! Also, they will fill w/ water the 6 oz ladels which hang high from the utensil rack. Very nice.
 
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Joined Oct 10, 2005
Take a hunk of puff pastry margerine, and flatten/shape it to resemble a cutlett/schnitzel. Bread the sucker.

Give the "special" schnitzel to a noobie and ask him/her to fry it up for you for lunch.....
 
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Joined Oct 28, 2008
First of all I think the screenname "Coulis-o" is epic.
At one places I worked at we sent a new cook to get a bacon stretcher. We called the other guys ahead of time to let them know he was coming and the cook returned with some sort of pulley-like device asking us how he supposed to use it. We laughed. Then laughed. The laughed a little more. He left a couple of days later.
 
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Joined Jan 19, 2010
We used to fill 4" hotel pans with water that had a few sheets of gelatin in it then take orplea knif kits and dump them in the lab and let it set up before they got to work...that's always a funny one. If you have a bathroom in the kitchen... Fill the toilet up with gelatinized water and wait for someone to go in there and get a nice splashing!haha.
 
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Joined Feb 16, 2010
Many classics here, especially the cleaning the fryer one. One I like is rubbing butter on the earpiece to the phone, then calling it from my cell and having the FNG answer it.
 
618
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Joined Jul 18, 2000
Well, i worked in a place and one of the FOH dudes did a good job of doing a number of me.  So I flattened out a piece of scone dough into a heart shape and crumbed it up.  Served it up as a chicken schnitzel on salad with gravy.  What surprised me, was that the fact that 2/3rds of the alleged schnitzel was eaten and it wasnt until I told the guy that it was scone dough that the penny dropped. What worries me, is that someone can eat sweet dough and not tell the difference between that and chicken breast.

But anyway.
 
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Joined Sep 29, 2009
Well, i worked in a place and one of the FOH dudes did a good job of doing a number of me.  So I flattened out a piece of scone dough into a heart shape and crumbed it up.  Served it up as a chicken schnitzel on salad with gravy.  What surprised me, was that the fact that 2/3rds of the alleged schnitzel was eaten and it wasnt until I told the guy that it was scone dough that the penny dropped. What worries me, is that someone can eat sweet dough and not tell the difference between that and chicken breast.

But anyway.
But your location says Australia, not America./img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif
 
438
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Joined Sep 29, 2009
Pouring vinegar into someone's drink left sitting around. A paste of cayenne pepper spread over cookies which have been pilfered. Chocolate dipped garlic or crisco left sitting on a plate for someone to steal.
A plastic to-go sauce cup full of garlic oil works really well.  You fill it about half way and wrap it in cling film.  Then you jam their straw through the plastic.  It's really horrible tasting and the reason that I bring clear cups in from the grocery store for my beverages.
 
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Joined Feb 26, 2007
Not a pro...but you mob are evil and gave me great big laughs :lol: Thank you all for that....luckily nobody pranked me when i was kitchen donkey in the long ago.  If I ever get back into it I'll watch out for these things.
 
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Joined Aug 27, 2009
 The best prank that we pulled was the time one of the cooks had the day off but left his fish spatula at work.  So we took a bucket & filled it with water.  Then we tied some twine to the handle and then tied it to the edge of the bucket so that the blade was submerged in water.  Then we stuck it in the freezer.  When the water got solid enough we cut off the twine.  When the guy came back from his days off he found his spatula stuck in a huge block of ice.  

Mostly though our idea of "kitchen humor" is to make remarks about the male servers sexual orientation.  
 
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Joined Jan 29, 2010
We used to play the salt game at one place I worked, if you left your cup unattended boom salt.  Also once I was having serverbecsc eating truffles in my walk in so I made a batch filled with fish sauce, cayenne pepper & roast beef, needless to say they stopped eating the truffles. The server's knew it was against the rules to graze so it was hilarious watching the male server not be able to react because he knew what he was doing was wrong, he turned a pale green and we had a good laugh on the  line.
 
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Joined Jul 18, 2000
Hmmm, the truffle thingy reminds me when the maitre'd used to eat the chocolate truffles i prepared. Until I left one on top of the pile filled with dark green food dye. You know, the stuff that makes your teeth go dark green, and then you have to greet guests at the front door.

Another place I worked in another city, I was introduced to "the circle game".  With hilarious results.  It spread from me and the apprentices playing it, to stewards, to other Hotel Depts, even to guests.  From a entire hotel playing "the circle game", it then spread to nearby bars from the Hotel in the area.  Even today, when I see "Malcolm in the middle" episodes, and they're playing the game, i still crack up.  It actually got to the stage where I was getting MMS messages playing the game. Out of control.
 

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