How to Deal With Higher Ups and Co-Workers

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Joined Feb 18, 2007
Your reaction/response is completely within your control to manage. When you feel that coming on, YOU need to regroup, catch your breath and ask just as FoodPump says - no attitude in your tone, no edge, nothing. You ask for clarification and if your boss is a decent sort, they will respond in kind (meaning, not yelling). Or it lets them know you heard them and you will take care of it (as in "yes Chef I will clean up the spilled flour - I can do it after the dough is stored or I can stop and do it now. Which would you prefer?). You going all flashback is what's getting you deeper in that hole....

There are always going to be customers trying to game the system. It's not your job to catch them. Just escalate your observations to the appropriate person ;)
 
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Joined Jul 18, 2017
I’ve had bosses telling me to cleanup at very unlogical times as well. Whatchyaneedtodo is to ask very brightly, “ is it o.k to clean up after the mixer stops?” No trace of anger or attitude, this trick has gotten me out of a lot of situations, including a health inspector and a very pizzed off Lieutenant looking for volunteers.

That said, I’d be pizzed off about using a Cambro for a garbage can. If there aren’t any buckets around, then use a cardboard box, but please don’t use equipment meant for food as a garbage can.

One of the few luxuries an employee has is that you don’t have to pay for mistakes. If a customer is b.s.ing you, it’s not coming out of your pocket. You just follow the rules and inform your boss. However if you think someone is stealing or lying, you gotta have some kind of proof before you report.

Hope this helps
That does help a little, especially asking to finish a task before I clean every square inch of the work area. But I can't change the mind of any boss, if they interpret my decision making as disrespectful, then there's not really a lot I can do. I've been on the receiving end of it that I openly believe that it's a waste of their time to give me any opportunities to defend myself because we all know they have already made up their minds. I know you may interpret that as disrespect, but it's the flat out truth.
Seriously, I chalk that up as another example of human incoherencies that I simply cannot wrap my mind around.
Also, they got squeamish when I sneeze into my sleeve (I have seasonal hay fever). Instead they wanted me to sneeze into side towels and trash them in the linen bag. Which, as I said, was in a place that I have to fight a bunch of loud talking line cooks to access, costing me upkeep and plating speed. That method also puts me in a position that makes me power though a crap load of side towels, something my boss has yelled at me about too.
Seriously, it's the incoherencies of humans that make me feel held back in my progress of advancing venues. And it sometimes just makes me hate not my craft, but my job.
 
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Joined Jul 18, 2017
Your reaction/response is completely within your control to manage. When you feel that coming on, YOU need to regroup, catch your breath and ask just as FoodPump says - no attitude in your tone, no edge, nothing. You ask for clarification and if your boss is a decent sort, they will respond in kind (meaning, not yelling). Or it lets them know you heard them and you will take care of it (as in "yes Chef I will clean up the spilled flour - I can do it after the dough is stored or I can stop and do it now. Which would you prefer?). You going all flashback is what's getting you deeper in that hole....

There are always going to be customers trying to game the system. It's not your job to catch them. Just escalate your observations to the appropriate person ;)
I see what you're saying. It's on me when the same things that multiple bosses in my past say the same thing, and it triggers me. But it's not just past bosses that make presumptions and don't listen when I explain and they ignore me anyway. It's a pattern of behavior that I've dealt with even at my home life growing up. It's one thing to feel like you're in lose-lose situation being lectured by a stubborn, oblivious parent, but it's another when it happens at a place that you depend on for your income and livability.
I've already divulged too much about my personal life to strangers, but it's hard, damn near impossible to escape these behaviors and my feelings towards them. I'm trying every technique I can to cope. Unleashing rage in a controlled environment, mockery, exercise, and drinking, but none of them make the problem go away.
Right now, I'm working in a kitchen where I've had no such problems with the higher ups and co-workers, but it's not paying the bills. I'm trying to go slower in my strategy of looking for greener pastures.
 
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Joined May 13, 2014
Open your own business. Be the boss you always wanted, while engaged in your passion. I did it against all odds. No doesn't exist when it comes to passion.

^^ This. I hated restaurant culture, left to become a private chef, and have never regretted it.
 
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