A friend called me a couple of days ago, saying she had a ticket to see Guy Fieri's stage show at a local theater. (GF is a successful restrateur in California who also has two shows on Food Network.) I accepted, mostly because I hadn't seen my good friend in some time, and we'd have time to chat over dinner. The show was set for 8:00 PM. We arrived and awaited Guy's entrance. A warm-up act came on first. The chef who feeds stars who come to two of the large venues in Milwaukee. He narrated while another chef and a sous prepared a carrot-curry soup, salmon poached in olive oil, and a rice "tabbouleh" salad. The team worked very professionally, and the chef's narration was very good. By then it was nearly 9:00. The next act was a bartender called Woody, who wound things up a bit by being rather crass and suggestive. He finshed around 9:30. Finally, Guy came on with several sous and some impish assistants thrown in for comedic relief. Guy started by introducing six culinary students who had won awards, and who had served the audience members who had paid $250 to sit on stage and be served the food and drinks prepared there. (My friend's husband and son were among them.) After that, things really got going. Guy revved up the audience more by tossing t-shirts and other items to the crowd. If we thought he'd cook and talk about that, with some amusing anecdotes thrown in, we were very mistaken. As time went on, he used more rough and suggestive language, prodded on by the DJ who had a booth onstage. Guy had started a dish called Hong Kong chicken but he rarely spent time at the stove cooking or talking about cooking. The show deteriorated into a celebration of alcohol, with a scene of crew members pouring fifths of rum and tequila (you couldn't miss the name of the tequila maker- their logo was hard to miss). As more and more liquor was poured into an immense Margarita mixer, the scene resembled more of an Hieronymus Bosch painting than a cooking show (think "The Garden of Earthly Delights"). There were children in the audience and children called on stage to sing. We left before that, repelled by the show. I wasn't really a fan of Guy's, but had begun to enjoy his show, "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives". Now I won't bother watching him, and my opinion of him has been destroyed. Anthony Bourdain is coming in January. I'd seen him do a book talk when Kitchen Confidential came out. He was a great speaker, and I was very impressed by his tone and demeanor. Maybe I'll pay the $45 and go. It sure was wasted on Guy Fieri.