Glad I don't...

Discussion in 'The Late Night Cafe (off-topic)' started by lynne, Mar 5, 2001.

  1. lynne

    lynne

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    One of the best things I did was put a TV in the B&B kitchen--atleast I get to see the news that way.

    While prepping I watched, horrified as yet another high school was hit by tragedy. I am so glad that I don't have children in schools right now! Seeing the panic on the parents faces as they wandered through a parking lot of close to 2000 kids, searching for their baby--and having no idea where to find them! I can only imagine the pain, horror and helplessness that they felt and I know that it is something I for one never want to have to live through!

    I feel for anyone out there touched by this horrible event. I send you my prayers and best wishes.

    lynne
     
  2. lorib

    lorib

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    It's amazing how I get the news on Chef Talk now! So sad to hear this, it's one of the reasons that I am homeschooling my son.......
    I'll go catch the news : (
     
  3. papa

    papa

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    Dear Friends:

    I am suddened too by the this violent crime. It seems that we have not learned anything from our past mistakes. The human race keeps failing its children. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that these parents must feel for the loss of their children.

    I will never forget the lady that my wife and I met in Ukraine a few years ago. She was a teacher forced in prostitution by the need for extra money to purchase drugs for her children who suffered by thiroid cancer caused by the Chernobyl accident. What a tragedy. We tried to help her as much as we could. I will never forget the love and passion for her children that I saw in her eyes. I cannot help it but every time that I hear of children suffering, I think of her.
     
  4. seattledeb

    seattledeb

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    At 43 my sister decided to do an abrupt career change and become a school teacher in Calif. I've been keeping up with all she's doing to accomplish this, and yesterday she had mentioned while substituting (she's at an elementary school), they had to do "lockdown" training. I don't have kids but maybe this training is the norm in school these days. I said lockdown in elementary? Then today yet another shooting.
     
  5. lynne

    lynne

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    You know, one of the super scary things is that this kid talked. He tried to recruit amongst his friends (thank God they all turned him down!). One of the boys mentioned it to his father(not the shooter's father). The father asked the shooter what the deal was and the boy convinced him that it was all a joke.

    NO ONE EVER NOTIFIED THE SHOOTER'S FATHER (who he lives with), SCHOOL AUTHORITIES OR LAW ENFORCEMENT!!!

    The other father (not the suspect's) says he'll never forgive himself for not acting. He for once had the chance to do something to prevent another parent's kids for loosing their life and he did nothing! He says he will live with that guilt for the rest of his life.

    I think we need to learn a lesson here. Nurture our kids, give them the attention they crave, know what is going on their lives, be observant and listen. Don't be afraid to act!
     
  6. theloggg

    theloggg

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    My wife is an 8th grade science teacher and every time I hear news like this spreading around the office my stomach drops.

    The De Anza Jr College "almost massacre" that happened a few weeks back is about 1 mile from my job. It's quite an eerie feeling when it's in your backyard.

    logan
     
  7. anneke

    anneke

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    Many of my friends would like to move to the US for work but many say they wouldn't want to raise a family there because of the frequency of this type of occurance. I usually respond by saying that the US is not worse off than we are, we just have a 10th of the US' population and therefore proportionally less crime in schools. Americans, what do you think? Am I right? We Canadians are exposed to the same culture, TV, movies, authors, etc as you are. I'll get in trouble for saying this but the differences between us are not that large. Yet we don't seem to experience the same juvenile crime rate as you do south of the border. Are my initial instincts correct? Or are things really worse in the States and if so, why?
     
  8. m brown

    m brown

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    The difference is we have guns Anneke.
    The NRA thinks this is good. But we do not need a malita to protect ourselves anymore that is why we have an army. No person has the right to bear arms when we are not in a state of civil war. I wish the government would wake the **** up and make guns illegal. period. they are disasters waiting to happen, every few seconds. it is really sick.
    I can't believe I have to ask a parent if there are guns in their house before my kids can go over to play.

    Pay attention to your children, they don't go on auto-pilot after grade school.
    :mad:
     
  9. cape chef

    cape chef

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    I am troubled, I am concerned,I am moved,I am scared,I love my family. Be true to your children..tell them they are special,be as strong as you can be....don't let them down,be there parent not there best friend.

    A moment of silence for these children..
    Plant a tree. I planted a colombine spruce in my back yard after the tradigy in colorado and me,my wife and two children lite a candel and said prayers.
    It seems the colorodo spruce will have a new nieghber, a weeping willow :(
    Be kind,
    cc
     
  10. anneke

    anneke

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    We have guns here too, most are properly registered and stored, as they should be.

    I'm not sure that making guns illegal will have an impact on crime as it doesn't change a criminal's mind set. THe only real consequence is the development of a sophisticated black market. Keep in mind most crimes are not committed with the perpetrator's own gun. There are lots of stolen guns out there and if they don't come from dad's closet, they'll come from across the border somewhere where another mafia will make money.

    I hear and respect what you are saying M Brown, but I think something is going on in kids' minds that we need to figure out in hurry. That's where parents should start looking first.
     
  11. anneke

    anneke

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    Amen Cape Chef.
     
  12. lynne

    lynne

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    CC,You brought tears to my eyes...

    mbrown, anneke -- we have to teach people how to become families again.
     
  13. m brown

    m brown

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    sad but true.
    my mom used to go through our stuff when we were kids. she says you have to, to save your children from making deadly mistakes. she was referring to drugs and such, now we have to look for bombs, guns and hate literature.
    planting something in memory of tragedy is a wonderful way to teach your children compassion and empathy. thanks cc.
     
  14. anneke

    anneke

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    My mom knew she wouldn't find drugs; she was after my love letters! She made sport of it though and now we don't talk much. But I turned out ok. SHe might have been a tyrant but at least she took an interest. It's up to parents to raise their kids, not teachers or the system or TV. There are such wonderful examples of great parents out there who do nothing extraordinary but are there for their kids and spend enough time with them to understand how to read them. They are true heros today. Bless you.
     
  15. mezzaluna

    mezzaluna

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    Where did he get the gun?

    When was the last time you heard of an incident like this in, say France, where private gun ownership is rare? Do they have fewer rights than we do? I think not, and I'd love to have many European countries' education and child care systems.

    The key to this horrible story is that the adults did not do what adults are supposed to do.
     
  16. kokopuffs

    kokopuffs

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    Funny, I'm 47 and grew up in the California desert. We all owned firearms and did lots of hunting and plinking. If there were differences to settle, we always discussed things that occasionally led to fisticuffs. The idea of using firearms to settle differences never entered OUR heads.

    The problem these days is parental neglect, much of it arising from single parent families. :eek:
     
  17. papa

    papa

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    Dear Crudeau:

    Eloquently stated.
     
  18. seattledeb

    seattledeb

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    Can't blame it all on the media---many things have changed as well.

    So many kids are left unsupervised by their parents after school. I guess I was lucky because someone always seemed to be home for me after school. I can't imagine what it's like for these kids to come home every day to an empty house, left up to their own devices, and their tired folks come in after a hard day's work at 6pm, 7pm, or later.

    If thelogg is reading, De Anza is where I went to junior college!
     
  19. seattledeb

    seattledeb

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    Crudeau: It's true, hard to live on one income these days. Within my circle of friends here in WA and in CA..a few (6) have left their jobs over the last few years, given up a lot (careerwise) with LOTS of cutting back on the homefront, to be with their kids-and help them through some difficult issues with school/depression/learning disabilities.

    Of course they're not single, so they do have the other income to rely on. Having many friends (and family members) who are single and struggling financially, I know this would be impossible.
     
  20. lynne

    lynne

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    Hopefully there are 2 things that can help foster the family time spent or less time for kids spent alone, and maybe people need to learn not to overextend themselves financially and that a good life doesn't necessarily mean bigger and better.

    I have a friend that took a position with a school system (chef manager--definitely not a glamour job!) -- but, she's at work while her son is in school and gets home 1/2 hour after he does. She dedicates that extra time to being the best mother (and father) to her son that she can be! She's got excellent benefits; but a nowhere job. The acrifice she made so she can help with homework, go to ball games, cub scouts, etc. Maybe once he's older; she may go back to the freestanding restaurant work she loves so much, but in the meantime, she feels she has a duty.

    Hopefully, with technology being more widespread and telecommunications being available to everyone, there may be more people who will spend time eith their kids--the key is to use the home office wisely and not hide away in it. Maybe work off hours or flex time so those important afterschool hours are covered. Share time with your neighbors--the kids life you could be saving could be yours-or theirs.

    I too am so thankful Mom was always home when I got there. She was my sounding board -- maybe I vented because I was picked on or teased, got it out of my system and relaxed. Life went on. For kids that never see their parents, who do they get to discuss their feelings and hurts with? You see too many parents come home and disappear into a bedroom to play on the computer or settle in to watch "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" without ever really paying attention to our future, our kids.

    Sorry for the soap box, but I've vented now and I, too, feel better for it!