Edit: I should warn you that this is partially a rant, so if you aren't in the mood for one of those, I hope you have a good day not reading my problems I've been working in the food industry for 4 years. My first kitchen job was a lot of fun; we would joke around, play music, teach each other, talk, play pranks on each other, hold competitions, and share our own personal style of cooking. We did all that and we're still able to get things done, busting our butts to feed 600-1000 people a day with a crew of 3-5, pushing out 9-17 menu items per service on a menu that changed daily and catered well to diners with allergies. Since then, I've moved on to learn more elsewhere. Each time I move to a new restaurant the staff are cold, they joke amongst each other and harass me. I bust my ass and do my job the way I know is right, but no matter the chef, it's always wrong and I always get taken advantage of. I haven't found a kitchen since that honestly trains their staff; or rather, includes me in the training, I train myself. I can't afford culinary school, I study on my own. From recipe and technique, to food science, art, agriculture, management and philosophy, I have books stacked in my room and hundreds of pages of notes on the stations I know best. And yet all that still isn't enough. I'm busting my ass and getting nowhere. The only time I have peace is when I give up and act lazy. I could do a good job and be paraded as the kitchen idiot, or I could break plates on purpose and drag my feet while I purposelessly carry my bus stop to the dish pit and be left alone. There is no explaining to them, it's only back talk. In their eyes I am as inexperienced and incompetent as a culinary school greenhorn, and yet, I could tell them things their culinary school graduate sous chefs probably wouldn't even know. I want peace, I want to be able to learn and bust my ass without being put down simply because I'm new, or whatever the reason for this treatment is. I chose this career because it was fun, I don't get paid enough in this industry not to have fun when I work. It seems like the elder chefs think they don't have a responsibility to teach the younger generation of chefs what they know, which is ridiculous in my opinion, because then what they know dies with them, and I waste the rest of my life learning it all on my own, when I could be trained even with only a few moments a day and be able to put in the work required easier by working smarter instead of harder. I bust my ass working 50-80% more hours than my managers to make only a third of what they make every year, with no benefits. ...and yet my co-workers and managers call me lazy when I pace myself so I can survive a 70 hour, 90 hour, high volume service work week, don't burn the food, or put it out cold. I'm getting discouraged. I know the right kitchen for me is out there somewhere, but I haven't found it yet, and it's looking more and more like it doesn't exist. I need help. I know I can do better, I shouldn't redirect the blame for my own inadequacy in certain areas onto other people, but at the same time, I'm still relatively new in the industry and I'm not all-knowing, let alone telepathic. I know there's a lot I have left to learn, but I can't learn everything on my own.