Fruitcake Recipe

Discussion in 'The Late Night Cafe (off-topic)' started by american_suisse, Dec 5, 2010.

  1. american_suisse


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    I Just Like Food

    Recipe for Fruitcake

    1 cup water
    1 cup sugar
    4 large eggs
    2 cup dried fruit
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 cup brown sugar
    lemon juice
    1 gallon whiskey

    Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

    Take a large bowl.

    Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
    Pour 1 level cup and drink.

    Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.

    Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

    Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.

    Turn off the mixer.

    Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
    dried fruit. Mix on the turner.

    If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose
    with a drewscriver.

    Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

    Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.

    Check the whiskey.

    Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

    Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can
    find. Grease the oven.

    Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

    Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

    Throw the bowl out the window.

    Check the whiskey again.

    Go to bed.

    Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?  
  2. tylerm713


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    I Just Like Food
    This might be my favorite recipe that I've read in a long time. Very clever. 
  3. ishbel


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    Cook At Home
    I do!

    And, judging by the requests from friends and family to make them one each year, so do at least 12 people I know!

    Mind you, my recipe is MUCH better than that - AND I 'feed' the Christmas cakes and Christmas puddings with brandy once a week before Christmas, so they are extremely rich, even before I put on the marzipan and the icing.