feeling lost


  • hold my head up and find a new kitchen things will be ok

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • get out of it and find something new while im still young

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
  • Poll closed .
Joined Aug 11, 2010
so, my name is jessica. ive only been in the industry a year working at a nice hotel in a tiny town in florida and i am thinking i am done with it already. I went in to my job straight out of school and its the only one ive had so far. the place where i am, i loved when i started and now i hate it. i know i try hard and do a good job but everytime something wrong happens i am made to feel completely incompetent. I feel like i am not important the only reason i feel that i am there is to give the other cooks a day off. plus like i said ive been there a year, have had a dollar raise and still do not make standard starting pay. i cant help to wonder if it is like this everywhere and i just am not cut out for it or if i just need to get the hell out of there and find a new kitchen but i just hate going there everyday and the more i think about it i feel if every place is like that i dont want to bust my ass the rest of my life to never get anywhere and be middle aged coming home every day feeling like my body is going to fall apart. or missing holidays and important days with my family for a measly pay rate that i could make somewhere else doing less work. i really dont know what i should do. are all kitchens really that crappy or am i just really not cut out for this like i thought i was?>
Joined Aug 29, 2000
Welcome to Chef Talk, Jessica.

I'm wriitng an extensive answer to you via Private Message (PM). However....

Please have a look around and take your time 'listening' to what you read in the culinary students forum and the other professionals' forums. Use the search tool to find topics of interest to you. Good luck to you in finding the culinary job that fits you best.


Joined May 20, 2009
Chill out, girl....Sometimes it is as bad as that but most of the time its much better or none of us would have shown up for work a longtime ago...

Maybe its not you, maybe your working with a**holes, they're out there ....but so are we.

In this game if you don't want to go to work it's time for a change of location...if you loved it once you can love it again and then you're hooked.

The money?...yeah, well...Dream of doing what you enjoy with a bunch of people you look forward to seeing....it can happen!

Chin up! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif
Joined Aug 25, 2009
Welcome to CT Jessica,

I want you to know that you are not the first to feel this way. When I get feeling like that I try to remember the reason why I decided to go into this field.

As we get older , yes , it is more tiring......can't change that. We all get bad days.

I would be more than happy to speak to you  (pm) . I do not know all the circumstances but sometimes we have to sit down and weigh the pro's and con's.

There are better days ahead.


Founder of Cheftalk.com
Staff member
Joined Oct 5, 2001
Here are the cold hard facts. If you have been there a year and you are no longer learning then you need to move on. Don't for one minute get down because people don't like you or make you feel incompetent. Sadly the food business attracts a lot of people that are not very nice or have much in the way of social skills. If you are ready to throw in the towel after one year in the business then you really need to ask yourself why you got into this field in the first place. 

Don't lock yourself into one area of the culinary world. So many young cooks do that (gotta go work for Charlie trotter so I can be a great chef). The fact is there are many rewarding areas of cooking. You can work at a hospital creating nutritional menus for people with health issues. You can teach, many of my friends after years in the business went this route. It is a great option because physically you can't do the same intense work in your late 40's and 50's you can when your in your twenties.

Catering is a great option for you. You can work for yourself and charge what your want (providing your food is good).

Lastly, you have a career that allows you to travel so do that. Get out an experience the world, go cook in the Greek islands for a summer, cook in the swiss alps at a resort. 

Hope that helps.
Joined Aug 18, 2007
Sorry ur going through such an awful time Jessica.  It sounds as tho you'd like to carry on working in catering and that you're proud of the way you work.Just a pity your chef doesnt share your enthusiasm.

I'd suggest you get the he+l out of there. But I know from experience, that moving can be scary. Sometimes its easier to stick with the devil u know and hope things will get better.

It may be an idea ,as a last ditch effort, if you havnt tried it already, to ask whoever is making you miserable for an appointment to sit down together and perhaps resolve any issues that have gotten out of hand and caused things to deteriorate over the year you've been there. maybe having a 3rd party, someone you both trust present would help too.   I know its a long shot, but if you'd prefer to stay there it just might work.

Ps write everything down that you've strong feelings about. It helps to refer to notes, as you wont remember everything at the time

I must just add, that you are seeing a whole mess of problems ruining your life and leaving you on the scrapheap in years to come. Dont go there. One problem = one solution. Deal with the task in hand and your future will be a wonderful thing out there just waiting for you.

There are chefs out there longing for your kind of enthusiasm. We love to teach people who want to learn. We're not all Bast++ds

I wish you all the very best of luck Jessica as do all who read your thread I'm sure

BH x
Joined Aug 6, 2010
If you enjoy the work, the cooking, the art of plating, then stick to it. I left the kitchen for 6 years and now I'm going to school for culinary and working in the kitchen again. People say that you are born to do what you do. Most people find something they love and stick to it. Like everyone said, sometimes the people you work for and with aren't that great. They should be encourageing you more since your new to the industry. I wouldn't give up just yet. Try telling the sous that you feel underappreciated. If he's good, he'll discuss with you how to make things better, and that should include some more learning! Personally, i feel that when people spend some time showing me new things, I feel as though they appreciate me. 

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