Eating in private vs. public

Discussion in 'Food & Cooking' started by koukouvagia, Sep 11, 2012.

  1. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    The knock out spuds thread got me thinking about the act of eating in public and how it differs from how and what you would eat in private.  This might be an issue of interest only to women since we're the ones who notoriously order salads on first dates and wouldn't get caught eating certain foods in public because we're too embarrassed, self conscious or whatever. 

    For example, in public I single dip daintily.  At home I double dip in front of my husband.  In private I overdip and scoop with my fingers lol. 

    In public I'd never eat tacos, way too messy. 

    In public I eat my mashed potatoes as they come, usually with a spoonful of gravy draped on it.  In private I swirl those spuds up and add an extra pat of butter... or two.
     
  2. schniek

    schniek

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    I'm not a woman......but the only thing I eat in public the same way I eat at home is pizza. Pizza has to be eaten with the hands and one has to live with the resultant mess (if you're really hungry).
     
  3. petalsandcoco

    petalsandcoco

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    I have no problem eating spaghetti , taco's in public nor pizza.

    Oh KK, never be shy with your spuds.....wherever you are, load em' up, dress them up....one thing about the humble potato, it loves to be jazzed up  with all kinds of good stuff.

    And what about those finger licking ribs ?

    Petals.

    ps. if your in a rib joint or any other place mentioned above, we are expected to eat that type of food in whichever manner it needs to be eaten.

          Lobster cracked open in a restaurant ? Pass my bib and garlic butter for dipping please...../img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif
     
  4. ordo

    ordo

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    In my opinion, the worst form of snobbism is to represent one person in public and be another person in private. 
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2012
  5. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    Wow, now that's a bit harsh.  This is not about being a snob, it's more about being ladylike and dainty.  If I'm at a bbq and everyone is eating ribs then I indulge.  But if I'm at a random restaurant and everyone has ordered grilled salmon with steamed asparagus then no way am I ordering the ribs.  It's too gluttonous.  Snobbism isn't even a word.

    Also, I have far too many vegetarian or vegan friends, and they're super skinny.  I always feel a bit odd if I were to chow down with them. 

    This reminds me, I was once at an italian restaurant with several Japanese friends, we were a large group and the restaurant served the meals family-style.  We got a large platter of calamari and it was sitting in the middle of the table.  Nobody was reaching for it so eventually I began by lifting it up and scooping some calamari onto my plate.  It was not really scooping, I kind of pushed the calamari off the platter and on to my plate.  My friends were horrified, they said that was extremely rude in Japanese culture.  Still I can't figure out why but I sure felt like an idiot.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2012
  6. 808jono202

    808jono202

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    It's not 1940, eat what you like, when you like. Eat what you want, when you want, life is too short. 

    If you have vegan friends(who cares if they are skinny, or not) and you are out to eat, do they expect you to eat what they eat? Are you a vegan, or vegetarian? If they are your FRIENDS, they shouldn't care what YOU decide to eat. They made a CHOICE to be vegetarian/Vegan, you are an omnivore by design. 

    As far as cultural boundaries, that is a whole other thread. If you are at an Italian place, in the states, with Japanese friends, then THEY are the ones that should do the whole "when in Rome" thing. . .you aren't/weren't in Japan. Now, if you were all at a Sushi Bar, that may have been different, but that wasn't the case.

    That all said: That KFC Mashed Potato Bowl, with the chicken, gravy, cheese and bacon. . . I would eat it, if it were in public, it would be in a dark corner, lol. But damn, I wanna try one of those things for some reason. It sounds great, fundamentally.
     
  7. kaneohegirlinaz

    kaneohegirlinaz

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    I get it Miss KK,

    some folks don't want to eat AT ALL in public

    For any number of reasons...

    Some folks won't eat certain foods in public

    For any number of reasons...

    That's just how some folks are.

    I find that perfectly okey-dokey in my book.

    Mister k~girl doesn't like to eat 'messy stuff' in public, nothing that requires being picked up in your hands... ribs, fried chicken, that sort.

    Me?  Well, if I like it, I eat it!  with abandon! 

    Years back, I took my Mother to NYC and we had a blast touring and eating.  There was one restaurant in particular (very high brow) that I HAD to go to.  The dish that I ordered was so out-of-this-world-delicious. I had never been happier about a plate of food before. I was sitting there with the biggest smile on my face, humming to myself... I kinda' do this little wiggle action in my chair, almost dancing like, if you know what I mean?

    well, the gal at the next table said, 'excuss me, but what are you eating that is that good?'

    I have no shame!
     
  8. siduri

    siduri

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    KK - that scene sounds a little familiar - what was that movie called?  Harry meet Sally or something? with the famous line  "I'll take whatever she's having"

    Ordo, If you think being one way in public and another way in private is snobby then i presume you have no problem shall we say cleaning your nose, scratching private places, passing wind and doing a number of other things we generally reserve to do in private, and if not, remind me not to have dinner with you! 

    IN any case shame is a very powerful emotion, and for whatever reason, people can have been shamed by others often enough even for the most normal things, for them to feel terribly self-conscious. 

    Plus, i doubt you're the same with your boss, your kids, your spouse or a complete stranger at the store. 

    I'll avoid eating desert with my diabetic friend, because it seems cruel - it;s not her choice not to eat sugar, but a necessity, but will eat desert with any number of skinny "oh-i-never-eat-deserts" people..  In fact I will shamelessly eat pretty much anything in public, though i do refrain from physically licking the plate except at home with close family /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif
     
  9. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    /img/vbsmilies/smilies/peace.gif
     
  10. ordo

    ordo

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    I was a little bit harsh, sorry, but I so hate protocols and etiquettes! 
     
  11. foodnfoto

    foodnfoto

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    What were you supposed to have done? Let the calamari go cold (yeaccchhhh!) and no one eat it? Call a waiter over to serve?

    Maybe offer to serve some of your companions some of the calamari first?

    Heck, enlighten your companions to the old saying-"When in Rome, do as Romans do."
     
  12. kaneohegirlinaz

    kaneohegirlinaz

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    /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smiles.gif   

    ... now that IS one thing that I do only when I am totally alone, not even my husband around!  I guess I do have that one point of shame
     
  13. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    This topic has a lot of facets.  Eating in public vs. private differs in every person I think.  It all depends on what you're eating, who you're eating it with, and how self conscious you feel.  It's a broad question that may factor in how you feel, and what expectations there are at the table.  What would you order if you were dining with President Obama?  You can insist that you'd be yourself no matter where you are but I guarantee nobody would be licking their fingers and eating ribs unless he was doing so as well.  I don't keep company with presidents often but women do tend to be more sensitive about eating around others than men, we're always on diets and pretending to hate food lol.  I went to a sushi restaurant a couple of months ago with a friend and she was low-carbing and low-sodiuming so she opted for a couple of pieces of sashimi, a miso soup and some salad.  My usual fare is an avocado roll, and 2-3 pieces of sushi which I did not alter to fit with my more calorie conscious friend but I did go along with the low-sodium soy sauce.... even though I really wanted the salty stuff hehe. 

    Another thing that women do is to almost always seem to leave a little bit on their plate and not eat everything.  I do this too most of the time, ingrained behavior that my Mom taught me.  And then once we leave the restaurant it is customary to say "oh my gosh, I am STUFFED, I can hardly walk!" even if you really aren't stuffed.  And sometimes we even say "I can't believe how much I ate, I'm not eating anything tomorrow" or "I am always so bad when we go out to eat together lol" or "diet starts tomorrow."  I don't think guys act this way around each other but girls do, girls of my age anyway where a lot of my friends are still single and looking for love.

    There is a lot of pressure on women to look and act a certain way and of course the issue of eating will be affected.  Men on the other hand can eat as much as they want and never feel a pang of guilt about it and still look at themselves in the mirror and say "I am spectacular!"  It's not fair, it is what it is and we're mostly used to it.  We're at the end of fashion week here in NY and walking around Lincoln Center these days can be brutal on a woman's self esteem with tall gazelle-type models everywhere.  Thank goodness it's over.
     
  14. 808jono202

    808jono202

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    It can only be brutal on ones self esteem, if you let it. If you are comfortable with yourself, happy with yourself, then personally what does it matter what passers by think of you? Are they life decision makers in your life, or people that really matter at the end of the day?

    I understand the many facets, for sure, and there is a time and a place for everything, but it's lunch and dinner, not life and death.
     
  15. koukouvagia

    koukouvagia

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    None of the topics discussed on cheftalk are life or death.  But we still discuss them anyway.
     
  16. durangojo

    durangojo

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    i had dinner with a girlfriend last night...we both had mediterranean salads and also shared a big bowl of french fries(house made, skin on, salt)....it was perfect!!   as for leaving something on the plate, i do..... i leave my fork!  maybe here in colorado where the air is clean and clear we just have healthier appetites and are not afraid to eat what we order and to clean our plates, not just play with our food, or pretend to eat...at least in my circle of ya ya's we do....as an aside, in my restaurant i see the plates come back and the women's plates come back just as clean as the menfolk...also out west here, the women order dessert and eat it too.....gotta love it! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif

    joey
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  17. kaneohegirlinaz

    kaneohegirlinaz

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    I think you hit it on the head Miss KK.

    Emotions are a very powerful thing.

    Shame, guilt, self-worth, ridicule, pass experiences, we could go on til the Moon turns to cheese (mmm, cheese, I love cheese).

    If I were to have a meal with a famous person, I'm not sure that I would be able to eat anything, mainly because I'd be talking WAY too much...

    Me, I guess I'm of a different cut of cloth.

    I like food, the only things that I don't eat are things that I'm allergic to.

    (or don't care for)  If I'm not hungry, I don't eat, that bugs my husband to no end.  My Mother tried to get both my Sister and I into the 'clean you plate club' and I never bought it.  (but she guilt's me into other avenues).
     
  18. 808jono202

    808jono202

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    As am well aware. . . just saying, lighten up a bit. We only go around on this rock once/img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

    Food is one of those things where say you don't drink, you don't do drugs, you don't have a vice of ANY KIND, food is one of the things in life that WE can ALL enjoy, we can ALL learn from, and the worst thing(besides a crazy allergic reaction)that happens, is we spit it out, and know not to do that again(me: balut, durian, I don't care for the texture of mushrooms though the flavor of some is OK, or OJ with pulp). Food can be that passion, that "vice", and you should live to eat sometimes, while I know most eat to live.

    When I had gotten off chemo, it was a good 3 or 4 months before I had an appetite. My first REAL craving, and my "OMG I WANT FOOD, AND I WANT IT NOW" was for 5 Guys Burgers and Fries(really healthy, but I could give a crap less after dealing with the "Big C"). Looking back, I must have looked like a person that had never eaten before, or Like Nick Nolte in Down and Out In Beverly Hills when he is trying to teach the dog how to eat. . .I guess there are just certain things for everyone that sculpt their social behavior, if my Mother were there, I am SURE I may have been a bit more reserved.

    As I said, I  know there is a time and a place for everything, but I certainly wouldn't let the thought of some stranger seeing me eat what I want determine if/when/what/where I am going to eat. Food is too great to let others dictate how you deal. Food is the one thing we all have in common that brings us together. Would you eat/have you eaten, Ethiopian where everything is with the hands, and is a messy deal? Same with a lot of Arab, and Persian places.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012
  19. kaneohegirlinaz

    kaneohegirlinaz

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    OH MY GOD!!

    I was just thinking about balut this morning, looking at unusual foods and balut was brought up...

    MAN!!  I can't even look at that without wanting hurl!

    I know that it's really good to some, but oh man! 
     
  20. ordo

    ordo

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    This lady says nothing about licking the plate, so it must be admitted.



    I swear i was expecting a fat man in underwear, with a five days beard sipping a can of beer appearing back in the living room, but it didn't happened. Pitty.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2012