25 things chefs never tell you

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Joined May 15, 2013
I get the obsession with knives, but what's with spoons and pastry? I've worked in pastry/bakery before, but never yearned for a certain type of spoon with specific qualities. 
 
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Joined May 15, 2013
A one spooned quenelle?!?!? I've always used 2 spoons.

Is that a Zen chef thing, like the sound of one hand clapping?
 
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Joined Jan 22, 2012
A one spooned quenelle?!?!? I've always used 2 spoons.

Is that a Zen chef thing, like the sound of one hand clapping?
One handed quenelles just look better for things like ice cream/whipped cream.  Instead of being three sided a really well done one handed quenelle is rounded all the way around and are nearly egg shaped.  There are lots of different methods to achieve the one handed quenelle but the vid below shows you a great end result.

 
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Joined Jun 22, 2011
Obviously lists like the '50 things they didn't tell you' or whatever don't apply to everyone. Tons of cooks take extremely mediocre jobs with great pay, and great hours and have a totally 'normal' quality of life. Sadly, they're probably pretty delusional if they think their food is any good....
 
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Joined Jul 1, 2009
I really dislike lists like this because for the most part they're untrue. I have been in the kitchen for 35 years, i have a wife(never worked in the business), 4 kids rangeing from17 down to 7 months, never was an alcoholic, drug addict, shutin with no friends, constantly wounded and burnt, abbused, belittled, and my mom was always an awful cook so thank god she stoped cooking for me. I have made an excellent income and at 48 years old I am now semi retired while owning 3 different restaurants, with managing partners and still working a couple says a week at the hotel I was formally the head chef at. I chose this profession because I love it but made a decision many years ago to work it smart. People that suffer the crap listed in the list need to work smarter and the people who perpetuate the abbuse and unprofessionalness rampent in list like these need their employees and customers to walk out on them, then beat with a big stick. It is those people( jerks) that give our profession and love of the art a bad name.
We scandinavians have a better situation in general, than most chefs. The laws, the society and mentality is in general different.Some of these 50 things are very correct, others are far off.   Thats at least my experience.
 
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Joined Jan 25, 2012
I live outside of Kungsbacka just south of Gothenborg. Your down south arent you?
im in malmo at the moment looking into work in copenhagen. Adding to the one spoon quenelles look into the fat duck book for what i would call perfection. one is standing vertical if i remember correctly. Safe to say Scandinavia has had some of the best and worst kitchens i have worked in but for the most part well onto the top line where some of these dont or can not apply. 
 
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Joined Jul 7, 2013
Stitches are what fancy people get instead of using super glue.
omfg really? i thought i was the only one that 'grew up' this super glue in the kitchen. 

oh man, you cut your thumb? clean it, dry it, over the heart, glue it, glove it , get back to work asshole, your 4 tickets behind, gogogoogogo
 
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Joined Jun 5, 2013
Incidentally, superglue was first developed as a wound-sealant. But it's carcinogenic in the extreme and putting it in wounds gets it straight into your bloodstream, so it raises your chance of getting all cancers about equally, including the hard/impossible to treat types. 

Of course, I'm young and inexperienced so my opinion doesn't count for that much, but I find the cult of pain that surrounds professional cooking strange and artificial (and driven by the strange machinations of the working-man psyche). Because of the insane amount of difficulties that are legitimately a part of cooking for a living, I think people take too much to glorifying as well as exaggerating their sacrifices and difficult work conditions. If the consensus among chefs was towards life in the kitchen that is hospitable to a reasonable standard, perhaps a lot of unnecessary suffering and needlessly bad food could be avoided. 
 
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Joined Jan 30, 2012
Incidentally, superglue was first developed as a wound-sealant. But it's carcinogenic in the extreme and putting it in wounds gets it straight into your bloodstream, so it raises your chance of getting all cancers about equally, including the hard/impossible to treat types. 
This is not even close to being correct.  

It forms a completely inert plastic once cured.  It cures via moisture - so it can't get in your blood stream.

ER's around the world use versions (that contain preservatives and anti-bac additives) to close cuts when visible sutures are un-desireable ie. on the face etc.
 
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Joined May 19, 2013
Of course, I'm young and inexperienced so my opinion doesn't count for that much, but I find the cult of pain that surrounds professional cooking strange and artificial (and driven by the strange machinations of the working-man psyche). Because of the insane amount of difficulties that are legitimately a part of cooking for a living, I think people take too much to glorifying as well as exaggerating their sacrifices and difficult work conditions. If the consensus among chefs was towards life in the kitchen that is hospitable to a reasonable standard, perhaps a lot of unnecessary suffering and needlessly bad food could be avoided. 

I want you to write those words down, on paper, and keep them. Five, ten years down the road, if you're still working in a kitchen (regardless of position), they will be a source of head-shaking amusement to you.
 
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Joined Jan 7, 2012
There's a lot of truths to both lists to me, but damn the second one is awfully negative.

My mentor taught my two REALLY important things as a chef and business owner. 1) it's all in your attitude. Simple as that. If you have a bad attitude, arrogant, or are close minded, your work place will be full of painful references like said in the second list. 2) don't fret what you can't control. If its out of your reach, forget it. It's gonna rain whether you want it to or not.
 
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Joined Nov 14, 2012
There's a lot of truths to both lists to me, but damn the second one is awfully negative.

My mentor taught my two REALLY important things as a chef and business owner. 1) it's all in your attitude. Simple as that. If you have a bad attitude, arrogant, or are close minded, your work place will be full of painful references like said in the second list. 2) don't fret what you can't control. If its out of your reach, forget it. It's gonna rain whether you want it to or not.
 Ah see that's where you haven't seen the Irony in the list I put up - it is meant to be taken totally tongue in cheek 

At the end of the day " Don't Sweat the Petty things & Don't Pet the Sweaty Things "
 
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Joined Sep 21, 2012
Met a guy at a party back in the day, hey he said what do you do?

Chef I reply

Me too he says

Me, Oh where ?

Mc donalds he says.

I dont trust lists or stats either.
 
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Joined Sep 21, 2012
@ chef bilby.

Great list ( post 7 ). I laughed I cried and showed my kids  " thats Me" and it doesn't go away and quitting doesnt cure it.

the arse crack heals though but it takes years
 
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Joined Aug 30, 2012
I would to some degree agree with you Chef Bilby. I personally love my profession as a chef, though i have chosen to work smarter so some of those tough things don't apply to me. But, i agree; some employers actually tend to abuse chefs and make our career so weird. Some countries are not beneficial to chefs. Its so painful. Imagine working for two months and still not getting your salaries while keeping record of so much money you make on a daily basis. Verify your sales, all your inventory is up to date, no loss, 120% Profit but still not getting your salaries, what would you call that? Bad career, or Wrong Employer? In these days when employment is not easy to find, well; then where does a chef run to? ... and your boss says, there is no Money to pay salaries.
 
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Joined Oct 26, 2013
I do not think this is the objective opinion of a chef, it's like a very mixed opinions subjective, short-sighted.
 
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