# need a bit of advice



## gav (Apr 7, 2005)

I am turning into a jealous and bitter person because my parents constantly talk to their friends about how marvelous my sister (their duaghter) is, but they never discuss my potential. any advice guys? I really need it... I know its not meant to be for this type of forum, but could really do with other chef's advice. many thanks.


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

Read your PM message.


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## deltadoc (Aug 15, 2004)

That's just the way it is with parents. They have their favorite child, and there's no accounting for it. You just can't take it personally.

My parents loved my sister too. She was at best a C- student, with little or no talent. Me, I was a A- student, played piano, sang, etc. etc.

But no matter what my sister did, and she was a mean-spirited person, my parents could see no wrong. Me, no matter what I did that was good, I was the "bad seed". Go figure?!

My sister has been divorced, had mental problems, goes to "naked" bars for kicks, and raped the estate when mom died, but I have been happily married to the same wonderful woman for 37 years. I figure if I had to go through it again, I know exactly what I would do (again!).

It boils down to no matter what anyone thinks of you (including your parents) what you think of your self is all that really matters.

doc


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## chezsylvia (Apr 6, 2005)

Ever thought that your parents don't have to worry about you? When parents talk about one of their children it is usually because they want to send a message to that sibling. Don't get all hung out about it. If it really bothers you, why don't you ask them why your sister is the topic of conversation when you too have accompishments that you are proud of. Stay positive, life is too short to get bent out of shape. You are good, you are YOU and you are a Chef (what could be better). Enjoy every day of your life to the fullest.

:chef: Chezsylvia


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## booooze (Mar 11, 2005)

lol, i hate it when my parents talk about me. they always say me and my sister were/are great. whenever they compliment or say stuf like "this is wonderful" ...whcih they always due, i always absoluetely hate it..lol. It's as if i hate being complimented by them. lol. my advice: don't worry about it. who the **** cares


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## redace1960 (Apr 1, 2005)

ask 'em why. not in front of people, but do ask them. you'll get the
'oh, sibs are always jealous of each other, we don't do that' thing, but persist.
nicely.
and list off the things you are proud of in yourself to them. they might not even have 
a clue these things were even important to you. really. this is
what my daughter had to do with me, and she was right.


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## faith leche (May 20, 2005)

recently a question came up in my household, regaurding if my mother ever needed a place to stay or needed help who would she go to? my mother without hesitation chose my oldest brother who is higly unresponsible, has a drug problem, is always in debt, and (this is great) STILL LIVES WITH HER! 
OMG i was so offended. not to brag im pretty on my feet. my diagnosis is moms going to a nursing home lol


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## hipjoint (Jan 29, 2005)

===== well .... i have had the problem of being a middle child ...
my brother was the genius type ... skipped three grades, straight
A average, perfect 1600 on the SATs, 48 master's credits before
getting his bachelor's degree (having taken 25 units a semester
and having enough time to tutor three other people!!) etc. etc.
and my younger sister ... well ... she's the baby girl the parents
went thru two boys to get and spoiled spoiled spoiled. me???
i had to always fight in my bro's shadow and never coming close
to getting the attention my sis got.

so guess who doesn't ever get talked about?? even though i have
held a steady job (sometimes two or three at a time) my whole life,
and as an outdoor writer closing in on 500 articles published, raised 
two kids such that everyone we meet is envious of them (well mannered,
friendly, clean-cut, polite), COOKS (!!!), and married to the same
woman for 26 years, my parents still treat me like the forgotten child.

what i have learned is this ... strive to live to your potential, strive for 
a life that is self-satisfying, and forget about other people's approval.
like it was said in the movie "gladiator" ... "the mob is fickle ... a month 
from now they will forget his name." you, however, will have to live
with yourself always.


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