# In shock



## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

I am in shock. I just got fired. The reasons I was given? I made a rude comment to a guy that was endlessly hitting on me, and "the bartender doesn't get along with everyone...." The owner called me -- I was blindsided, didn't see it coming. I was quite happy there, and was given the impression that they were very happy with me. It was a "I hate to do this over the phone, but its just not going to work out." Okay, thanks, I just ordered $68 worth of imported German cheese for pasta night on Tuesday (yeah, and on my tab).... Sorry if I am rambling, or mispelling, I am still just slightly numb. It was all going in such a positive direction!

I consider myself a fairly competent and intelligent individual, and the reasons that the owner gave me for leaving were so flimsy.... 

Oye. Thanks for listening. Time for a big glass of vino.

Cheers! S


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## tessa (Sep 9, 2007)

thats unfair dismissal , and also sounds like you were being sexual harrassed , thats a human rights issue, how long have you been there for, and were you on a contract. 

i would definatly do some investigating in to your options, 
Its very tough over here to fire somebody without good cause, you can make life terribly miserable for them so that they voluntarily leave but unless its something major you cant fire them.

,dont go peacefully and quietly if you have done nothing wrong , go out making lots of noise and standing up for yourself, and dont let that bartender get away with thinking your an easy target either 

good luck and let us know how you get on


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

I say, just let it go.....no need to try and return to a property where you
are unwelcome.....I would however, reconnect with the owner or GM and
request a letter of recommendation based on your skills....also candidly ask,
off the record, what happened.......if that doesn't work....a little self reflection and a new set of goals.....the industry is rampant with male to
female conflict....and female to male conflict.......most of it unacceptable.
The only way to escape it is to work for a large company and sell yourself
to HR....Its not just getting the job, its finding the right job....as you move forward....take the time to investigate potential employers.....through existing or past employees.....you do have to gleen out the haters, but, know who you are going to work for......good luck Botan....


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

If you felt that you could go somewhere with that place and its worth fighting for then I would suggest Tessa's advice and if they don't wanna listen then shed some light through legal means, anywhere in any profession I know of in North America doesn't accepts sexual harassment in the workplace...it is a criminal offense in most provinces/states.

But if you believe this to be some dead end job then I wouldn't bother putting in the effort. Maybe get compensated for the cheese you ordered with money or you take the cheese but other then that, f**k the place.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Thank you for your advice. I truly appreciate the different angles presented. 

I am a bit calmer now....

After reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I just need to let this go. I had very high hopes working with the owner and his wife, moving in a direction that gave me exposure to individuals that could forward my carreer in positive ways (although when offered a unique gig that probably would have made me a ton of money, I stated that I was devoted to the owner and his wife and turned it down...).

I was hit on a number of times, and that comes with the territory in the food and wine industry. However, twice someone crossed the line and I finally made a statement. Unfortunately, it was a friend of the owner. I understand the double standard, and I recognize that it is "wrong" and "unfair," but I do not want to fight for and be judged in an environment that no longer welcomes me. I am worthy of being appreciated, not flicked off like a flea.

Time to brainstorm. Still on Good Day Sac next month -- perhaps its time to launch.... There is something greater out there for me -- I can feel it :bounce:

Thank you again for your advice and advocacy.

Cheers! S


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## muskyhopeful (Jun 16, 2006)

Obviously, I know nothing of your situation but what you've stated. Getting fired always stinks. That being said, if in the real world you are anything like the ebullient, positive thinking person you seem on this website, I would venture a guess someone where you worked made a very poor decision. Consequently, someone in the near future is going to make a very good decision when they hire you.

Personally, I think you should have a German cheese party to celebrate your chance to explore new and better opportunities.

Kevin

I want a _good_ hot roast beef sandwich.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Thank you, once more.

Perhaps my exuberance is what got me fired  However, I can't stop being who I am. 

I LOVE the German cheese party idea -- you are all invited! Unfortunately I can't afford to fly you all out to California :crazy:

Oh, and btw -- don't know if I mentioned that I'll be presenting aphrodisiac recipes and research on GDS. Not a big segment, but at least a spot! Should be fun. They are a great bunch.

Cheers! S


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

That says it all! Keep your chin up... and how does the saying go? When one door closes, one door opens. Take care.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

I agree with Muskyhopeful... Have a blast...enjoy the cheese.
Some folk just cant take outspoken women. Especially catering managers. is it in their remit for the job??
I fell out with so many. No exageration it's the main reason i now work for myself.
I'm sorry if i'm offending catering managers, but you do seem to be a generic lot. Stressed to the max/dont like, trust your chefs/waiting staff. You pander to the client and make outragous promises WE cant keep. And with due respect, cough cough! I... I ...Can't print it on the grounds i may offend.
Good luck for your future. What goes round really does come round and it sounds like youve earned some good times ahead. I just hope you arn't having to struggle financially and you find your feet soon.
All the best
Fi x


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Stevie, I know we'll hear good news soon! You're not a force to be hobbled for long. :bounce:


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Hey - good luck to you with your next BETTER job  It sounds like you're better off out of there, even given the circumstances. And ditto the above advice - others have said all I wanted to say, and I wish you the best.

Just one note - If you're giving up opportunities because of loyalty - who's best interests have you been serving?
Good luck 

DC


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

You all are "absolutely fabulous dahlings...." 

I'm trying to figure out whether I want to do a Beer Kaese bratwurst fondue or a Bergrebell mountain cheese with Bauern Schinken and spaetzle for the cheese blowout.... 

Seriously, though, your support means so much.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

Hey Botanique I admire your attitude and gracious strength in the face of what is clearly a very unjust situation. The German cheese party sounds like a great idea-kind a symbolic way of "eating" your oppressors-along the same lines of the development of the original croissant.

However, I would advise you to request a sit down with the HR department, as uncomforable as that proposal may be, with the goal of protecting your current and future reputation. You should tell your side of the story in a written letter to be kept in whatever kind of employment file they keep and request not only a letter of recommendation, but some kind of annotation in your file describing your resignation in a more positive light. The reason being that if and when you apply for another position, your prospective employer will assuredly call the former one to verify your employment history. Most savvy HR people dodge the question nimbly when asked the reason for your leaving, but some with little experience in the potentia liabilities will freely blather on about reasons that might not be in your best interest and could be inaccurate as well-painting themselves in the best light and throwing you to the wolves. 

You can arm yourself with a potential suit for sexual harrassment and unlawful termination-especially if there is no record in your file of any previous disciplinary action. No need to make the threat, but implying one is almost as good as filing one in most circles. It wouldn't hurt to mention your friendship (wink, wink) with the local newspaper reporter who writes about local legal issues. 

I'm not encouraging you to try to get your job back, especially under the circumstances, but only to protect yourself. All you should do is make them uncomforable enough about their actions and the legal consequences of such to assist you in your future job search instead of providing unfair hinderances.


Best wishes and best of luck in landing that new position.


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## nowiamone (Jan 23, 2005)

Botanique,

You are receiving a lot of support here, and that's good, but I also don't think you should focus only on the comments being made to the owner's friend and this being harassment issue, for the reason you were let go.

I actually looked at your comment about "ordering 68.00 worth of cheese on your dime for the restaurant" as far overstepping your bounds. I would have real concerns with an employee change the course of the menu and restaurant to that degree. Were you really listening, or intent on what you wanted to do and serve at their facility? If you were buying it yourself, it doesn't sound as if you had the management on board and you knew it. 
Either they would have expensed it through their suppliers, or been reimbursing you, wouldn't they? 

Just take an honest look at the situation, and yourself in it. It will help you next time around. Good Luck.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Foodnfoto -- thank you for your comments. I do plan on documenting what I perceived to be what happened and email it to them so I have a copy of what I sent and evidence that they received it. Of course, there are three sides to every story (his, hers, and the truth ;-)

nowIamone -- I appreciate your candor -- and it is good advice to suggest I check in and not focus on one thing. And of course it is hard to give advice without a complete description of circumstances, environment etc. I had complained once before about the individual making advances at me (after a little too much vino), and to my advantage it is on camera. However, I considered it not a big deal but I told them that if I felt uncomfortable again I would tell him to back away. What I told him the other night was that I intended to ignore him (he had stated "I know I am being abnoxious, you can ignore me, my fiance always does..." I said "piece of cake, ok, I'll just ignore you" -- and I said it in front of the owners). When the owner called the next day to let me go, I asked what I had done wrong, and he said it was comments that I had made to the gentleman, and then he mentioned the bartender (who, I thought btw, was perfectly happy working with me and in fact had glowed to the owner's wife about me), in addition another gentleman at the bar stated I had made a comment to him (which I told him I had not said). 

Sorry, broken sentences, typing fast!

As for buying the cheese -- we did pasta night like a catering gig -- it was like having two jobs. On regular nights, I got a paycheck. Pasta nights I provided the menu (and I loved the freedom in that), brought everything in and set up out front in the "teaching kitchen" and received 70% of the tickets. It was working out quite well monetarily, and was forcasted to get better as the holiday season approached.

Time to move on and spring forward! I hate sounding like I am continually complaining about this, but felt I should explain..... Don't want to be a high maintenance ChefTalker  Thanks! S


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Sigh... getting sh!tcanned is so much part of being a chef it seems.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Kuan -- funny how you NEVER say exactly what you feel  LOL I will take that as a complement, because I don't call myself a chef -- and when people address me as chef Stevie, I always say thank you, but I am a cook (oh, and I never say "Just" a cook, because I feel blessed to consider myself one -- being able to please people in the creative way I have always felt comfortable...).

I finally told my mother about it all. She sent me a link to Rachel Ray's new search for a cook ha ha ha ha and said "this is just up your alley" (you have to hear it with a strong German accent). FYI the link is 'Think You Can Cook?' Rachael Ray to decide - CNN.com

Cheers! S


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## beemerchef (Sep 17, 2006)

WOW!!! Had i know I would have stayed around your area bit longer and had a talk with that moron!!! You know how I always speak my mind...

Life is too short... tough having a job... never had one... always self employed... I know that you can do the same.

You are tough, incredibly pleasant amongst so many other assets...
Hang in there... my thoughts and Spirit's are with you...

he says... "HI"...










Be well my friend,...

Ara & Spirit


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

My grandfather always said that a kick in the pants is often a kick in the right direction. I'm sure you'll find something so much better than what you had.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Ara - LOL you made my day with that pic of one of my favorite quadrupeds! Please give Spirit a good scratch on the bum for me! And no need for you to body guard -- you know I can take care of myself  But thank you. Next time you come through we can crash the place and get really drunk and obnoxious and pick up on the bartender :bounce: Or perhaps be the pleasant and civilized people that we are and have a glass of wine, perhaps a cigar :smoking:, and hopefully commend their new cook for a delicious meal.

Free -- I needed the kick in the pants :suprise:

Cheers! S


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## luc_h (Jun 6, 2007)

i have not been able to visit the post often lately...

So does that mean your plan to visit Montreal won't happen?
My offer still stands for you and any other visitors coming my way.

One door closes, others open (but you have to find them).

Luc H


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