# OK ... I'M HAPPY!!!



## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

_*YIPEEE!!!!!*_

I just got a call-back for a TV show audition. I'm happy.


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

Very cool!!! What show?


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

New show, major regular network ABC. Hosted by Nigella Lawson and Anthony Bourdain. I kinda feel a little stupid, but I don't know the name. 

I'm happy!!!


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## durangojo (Jul 30, 2007)

right on iceman!...two of my favorites...bet they'll be a fun team.....what's your role in all this? where do you fit in? 

off topic, but can you walk me through how you send a video to CT? i received it as an email and saved it to my desktop...that's as far as i've gotten....it's media player if that makes any difference...thanks ice, and congrats...you're not gonna start getting all bigheaded around here are you?.....

joey


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## gonefishin (Nov 6, 2004)

congrats ICEMAN! I'll keep my fingers crossed/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bounce.gif


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## kaneohegirlinaz (Apr 24, 2011)

Sooooo…

More details please


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

LOL. I aint'e got no details. I applied. They liked my application. I got a call ... had a chat ... it was nice ... I was then asked to come in and audition. I'm happy. I've got to make a _"WOW"_ dish, that can be plated/presented in 3-minutes and then consumed in 1-bite, _and then_ whatever else they want me to do. Anything else ... I don't know. _*I'M HAPPY!!!*_


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

Iceman,

In the Ebay knife thread you posted this , and I was just wondering how it went ? Petals.

_*By-the-way ... I got a call-back for a TV show audition. *_


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

It's coming up next Saturday.      I'll let you know when it happens.


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## stipcarters (Jun 30, 2012)

Good luck man!


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## mikelm (Dec 23, 2000)

Iceman-

When you're featured on the small screen,be SURE and let us know the broadcast time and channel. I watch Bourdain on the Travel Channel; didn't know he was on ABC which I never watch.

(I'm a Fox News guy.) /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif

Mike


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

_LOL. *Trust me*_ ... if I make it to the TV show ... *EVERYONE* will know about it. 

_Thank you all for caring. _


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## kaneohegirlinaz (Apr 24, 2011)

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

OK. So I gotta make them a _"WOW"_ dish. At first that didn't give me any problem, because I've got lot's of _"WOW"_ dishes. Hey, that's what I do. That was right up until I read the directions/requirements/regulations/fine print. Yeah, _reading is fundamental_. It's gotta be _"1-bite"_, basically an _amuse-bouche_. OK then, no big deal, I'm cool, I've done those. I had to shift gears. Whereas my first idea was a small thing, not everyone can do them in 1-bite. I don't expect to be auditioning in front of slobs. If you're gonna ask, my first choice was a _"trio of sliders"_ (steak sammich, chx salad sammich and lobster-roll) w/ a _"glob'o'salad"_ (cole slaw, potato salad, mac salad) to go with each one. Anyway ... that's out. 

New plan. I make a really good _"spring-roll"_. Really, I do, it's very good, Asian people have said so. My original roll has got lots of stuff. It's the size of a regular dinner egg-roll. I don't make it 1-bite size usually, but I've been working on it since Thursday and I think I've got it down. As long as I don't have to do it in front of them, because it just aint'e gonna happen in the 3-minutes they said I've got to plate. I'm prepping in a special pita way for this, making each and every part the exact same size. It will be large sushi size. I'm trying to get it to 5cm/2in long x 3cm/1in dia. I will cut it on the diagonal with one piece laying down and the other standing on end. I'm gonna serve it on a plate w/ two(2) sauces in a ying-yang design and a slice of grilled lemon. I hope it works. 

_*** *_I forgot this. I don't have much dry-ice experience for something like this. I gotta get it +/- 1-hour from point A to point B; stand around for a while; have my food cold but not frozen. I could use some discussion here on this idea. _*TIA*_ for the help.


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## kaneohegirlinaz (Apr 24, 2011)

As I am not a Pro as others here at CT, Iceman, please be assured that I will be there in spirit

as your personal cheer leader, pompoms and all!  GO MAN, GO!!

In all seriousness though, truly, I will be rooting you on, Saturday, what time, about noon-ish PST?


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

I'm not sure when will be _"My" time_, but the ordeal is scheduled from 10:00 - 4:00 cdt. 

I've also got an attire quandary. Do I wear regular people clothes or chef clothes?


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

My advice? Wear nice "people clothes" but have your whites with you (or whatever you wear while on the job)


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## kaneohegirlinaz (Apr 24, 2011)

Agreed! Look as personable, charming, and debonair as we know you are! (take a hint from the gals, dress shields! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif)


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

OK. That's what I was thinking. I'll dress standard _"Joe Cool"_, because that's me, and I'll have a bag with my work clothes to go with if it looks like the better way to go. Thanks.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

OK. It's 3:30 ... my kitchen is a wreck ... my wife is miffed ... and I'm dead tired. BFD. In a coupla-3 hours I'm gonna get up, pack up, and get on my way. I made my batch of spring rolls. They're bigger than I would optimally like, but so what. I'm gonna hit'em with the best "bite-sized" thing I got. I think. LOL. I'm broke, I've got no car insurance and my electric is going off on Monday. Dammitt still ... I'm coming home with a TV show tomorrow. Good-nite everyone. I'll seeye' when I seeya'.


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

Good luck buddy, kick their asses......... Keep your cool, .you know your good.


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

Break a leg, buddy!  You're a great cook, I know you'll do well.

BDL

PS.  How did I miss this thread until now?


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## kaneohegirlinaz (Apr 24, 2011)

Knock ‘em dead!


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## durangojo (Jul 30, 2007)

just be your best iceman......what's the sauce(s) for your rolls? all the best and travel safe.....

joey


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

OK. I've been home for about an hour. That should tell you how things went. 

My _"WOW"_ dish looked like cat-food on a paper plate. And not even good cat-food. I listened to the _"phone people"_ and made a _"1-bite" amuse bouche_ dish. _*STUPID.*_ Everyone had full plated stuff ... on nice plates. At least I brought good quality _"Chinette"_ paper plates. It really didn't matter so much because some of the other people that were sent home, some really good chefs, had some really nice stuff. They were looking for specific _"types"_, which I guess is OK. That's understandable, ... _as long as you're not a big naive sissy pansy cry-baby like me. _ Anyway, I'm gonna sulk around sommore today, them I'm going to the nearest shelter by my house and cook some _*3****_ eats for some people important to me. 

_Thank you all for your good thoughts and having an interest. You're important to me too. _


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

_OK. I've gotten past sulking. I'm now into laughing at myself. _


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## durangojo (Jul 30, 2007)

just keep laughing WITH  yourself iceman.....not AT yourself.......at least it will make most entertaining fodder for the shelter...

joey


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Consider: this happened so you'll be available for the REALLY good thing that's going to happen next. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/thumb.gif


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## gonefishin (Nov 6, 2004)

No problems IceMan!  You've got the talent...this will make you stronger!

   Knock'em dead on the next one!!!


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

Hey thanks. Let me tell you though ... this _IS_ a time to laugh _AT_ me. It was brutal. I sucked like a nuclear vacuum cleaner. Compared to every other dish I could see, mine would be left alone untouched by even the flies after everything else was cleaned up. The only chance I had was if everyone else involved was blind. I was so far off the reservation in comparison that I would need a road-map to even find a garbage can. _***_ If you didn't have to look at it though, I am sure that it tasted good, even though the guy tasting the dishes ripped it apart w/ a fork and only touched some, not all, of the guts to the dish. He didn't touch either sauce. The lemons looked like blackened yellow fish bait. I might have had at least a snowflake's chance if he ate it properly. It was though, a very hot day _(not good for snowflakes)_. 

Now as for the sauces ... someone asked before but I can't find who? _(Joey?)_ *Sauce #1* _is simple_. Maybe 2-3 ounces of apple cider vinegar; maybe a tablespoon of hoisin sauce; maybe a teaspoon of chili oil; maybe a half-teaspoon of sesame oil; and a healthy glob of x-chunky peanut butter. All in a saucepan; heated until smooth and mixed. Add a little more vinegar if you went heavy on the PB. Adjust the other ingredients for your taste. *Sauce #2* _is simpler yet._ A 50/50 blended mix of wasabi paste and _Green Goddess_ salad dressing. Don't balk. It works. People like it. Don't ask why, I don't know, I don't talk about it either.


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## gonefishin (Nov 6, 2004)

Okay...I'll give you your due (or un-due).  Your description of what unfolded sounds pretty bad.  But I've got to say...we (the internet people) sit in our chairs ripping the reality food show contestants.  Many times saying, or thinking we (or one of our friends) could do a better job.  But I just get the feeling when it all comes down to it, and you only get one chance to pick, plan and execute A dish...I just get the feeling it's much harder than we think.


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## stipcarters (Jun 30, 2012)

Good job man, for trying your best and learning from the experience. I bet it didn't suck half as much as you said it did, and you're probably more motivated to cook now.

Whatever comes next will be even better. Keep cookin'!


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## margcata (Sep 18, 2011)

Sorry to hear things did not turn out so well for you Iceman. I had hoped you were going to take the show on the rainbow ... However, now you have the experience to be more sucessful on the next one ...

All my best,

Margaux. ( photo: fresh crab salad )





  








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margcata


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Jul 22, 2012


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## margcata (Sep 18, 2011)

Dan, Gone Fishing,

How are you ? Plans for the Summer ? We are over in Puglia, Italia at our summer home, however, I thought of you the other day when I made a shellfish paella ...





  








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margcata


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Jul 22, 2012


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## gonefishin (Nov 6, 2004)

margcata said:


> Dan, Gone Fishing,
> 
> How are you ? Plans for the Summer ? We are over in Puglia, Italia at our summer home, however, I thought of you the other day when I made a shellfish paella ...
> 
> ...


 Hi Margcata! The paella looks delicious! Our family took a nice driving vacation to various parts of Florida...we hit a ton of beaches and lots of fresh seafood. The images of Puglia, Italy are breathtaking. I'll get a few pictures up of the kids on vacation and send you a message.

I was really pulling for IceMan to make the show. Not only is he a fellow Chicago native...but a ChefTalk'er! But I'm guessing...with his drive and determination...this won't be the last of his opportunities.

Take care Margcata!


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

LOL. *Thank you for your thoughts.* I was a perfect example of someone who _"just didn't get it"_. That's a funny thing too. The first thing my wife said was _"... for someone with your experience ... and all the shows you've watched, ripping the bajeebies out of the contestants ... you would think that YOU wouldn't make the mistakes that YOU did ... I guess you suck huh?". _

Next time will be different (I hope, LOL).


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

*OK. THIS is the "Next Time" ... And I just said "NO".*

WTF?!? I was just invited to be a contestant on _"Top Chef"_. I graciously said _"Thank You very much"_, and declined. I think I'll be needing some therapy.


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## laurenlulu (Sep 9, 2012)

O M G are you serious??! You're incredible! That show does look fun although we probably just can't see the crap stains on the contestants pants.. I don't blame ya


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

THANK YOU, laurenlulu. NO, I'm not incredible though. It seems as though I just do what I do really cool, and someone was interested. To tell you the truth, I can't figure out what they saw in me all so much. If I pulled each and every one of my tricks out of my magical chef bag I might make it through the second week ... and only if 2 others really sucked. I come with lots of baggage that wouldn't go over well on the show. I won't touch foie gras or veal; no way no how. I don't do "molecular gastronomy". I don't think I have any real original recipes of my own. I do not take criticism very well. I would not take much of it from many of the judges. On top of that ... there are at least a dozen of the past contestants from the beginning of the show that I would have choked if they did or said what they did or said to me instead of someone else. Thank you still for your good thoughts.

_OMG. I just realized how much I sound like a guy who's pet just died. ... SORRY. It's only a freaking game show. I think I'm gonna puke._


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## maryb (Mar 21, 2008)

Plating? Meh toss it on whatever is handy and eat





  








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maryb


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Feb 13, 2015


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