# The RUMOR mill



## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

Well.... seems like the rumor mill is really cranking at our place. We have an opperation that has around 25 employees and often times the PM and AM team overlap. 

Pairs of cooks are in the walk in, dry storage, in the back.. and tons of rumors are flying in this kitchen. 

As an Executive Chef, how do you stop this? Of cours,e I plan to have a team meeting with everyone concering stopping the spreading or rumors but how do you do follow up? If so and so is in the walk in with someonoe else, what do you say? What do you do?


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

Unless you replace your staff with robots, you'll have a rumor mill. 

The question is how big it gets and whether it disrupts operations. THAT'S a huge question.


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## brianthecook (May 2, 2007)

You cant stop it and should not try to. Its really none of your business what your employees say to each other unless they are talking about you. Dont be a **** or they will get fed up with you and quit in droves. 

Only solution would to put duct tape over everyones mouths.

waiters are the worse. Ive mentioned something to someone and the next thing I knew the people 4 restaurants over knew about it. 

The realistic solution is to use your political skills and use spin in your favor.

As exec you have to always keep your cool. People say things about you if you do not.


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## ghettoracingkid (Feb 19, 2007)

its human nature to like drama or something to talk about. 

this ehappens in every business. 

but liek it was said does it effect how they work?

What are the rumors about? jsut curious

At the meeting you can put the rumors to rest.

I know here at my job ive started a few rumors and we here some. Ive said that we are moving to tampa or to iowa and a fw other places. its not far from the truth and knowing this company it would happen.


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

People are people and as has been said above, they love a bit of innuendo and drama - seems to make the day go faster. Unfortunately its human nature, you'll never stop it. Just don't give them anything to spread rumours about 

Maybe they're not working hard enough - a bit of cleaning out the grease traps may work - muahaha - that always worked where I worked when someone caused trouble. Ok so its sounds naive but heck - it worked.


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

The rumors.... a cook has a crush on me. She has been talking to everyone about it. I am good friends with the pastry chef and one of the lead cooks and they both came up to me many times and told me what this cook has said. Those two cooks have never lied to me. HR sat down with her yesterday and HR told me that she was suprosed to hear that and that she said she never said anything like that. 

I really do not care if it is true or not. However, I am tired of hearing this crap. It is effectng productivity in the kitchen. 

Maybe I should just not give a crap about it and play it off.


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## baddabing (Jun 9, 2007)

Isaac,
You might just have to take one for the team:lol: SORRY!!!!NO,NO
I will say that I would bet it's somethings else if it's disrupting the kitchen.
baddaboom


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## atltournant (Apr 24, 2007)

Sad how some people never get out of high school,huh?:lol:


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

I think it is the classic "I cant find a guy so I will latch on to anyone that corrses my path" sorta thing.


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

Don't dignify any of it with an answer......If it concerns you..
or is about you...be honest....let them know that smoke has
been blown up there caboose....and that you genuinely care
about all your cooks and applaud thier efforts and abilities...
Above all, don't waste your time even worrying about it.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Install some cameras and see if it's true.


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## shipscook (Jan 14, 2007)

It can get bitter, but hopefully it won't come to that. I would say if nobody is really getting hurt, let it pass??
I have seen that happen and it can hurt.
But otherwise, we say, if you haven't heard a rumor by nine, start one!
Take care,
Nan


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

It has gottan pretty nasty. I was off yesterday and my sous called me and said she put in her two week notice. To be frank, I am ok with that... yes, it will be a pain in the @ss to cover shifts for a little while but it will help the kitchen in the long run. 

Now she is spreading rumors all over the kitchen until she leaves. She told me "I am not going to leave without a fight". So more rumors fly. I am in the process of talking with my other cooks and telling them not to pay attention to anything she says. 

What I find funny is when my sous talked wit hher yesterday, she told me she was crying. When she talked with HR, she was reported to be crying. She denied ever saying anything but my core cooks... my pastry chef, the lead PM cook and the AM lead cook has never lied to me. What I find funny is if it wasent true, I do not think you would be crying about it. 

Any thoughts?

So my sous and I are going to be all up in her business for the next two weeks to ensure less face to face contact she has with other cooks.


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

It has gottan pretty nasty. I was off yesterday and my sous called me and said she put in her two week notice. To be frank, I am ok with that... yes, it will be a pain in the @ss to cover shifts for a little while but it will help the kitchen in the long run. 

Now she is spreading rumors all over the kitchen until she leaves. She told me "I am not going to leave without a fight". So more rumors fly. I am in the process of talking with my other cooks and telling them not to pay attention to anything she says. 

What I find funny is when my sous talked wit hher yesterday, she told me she was crying. When she talked with HR, she was reported to be crying. She denied ever saying anything but my core cooks... my pastry chef, the lead PM cook and the AM lead cook has never lied to me. What I find funny is if it wasent true, I do not think you would be crying about it. 

Any thoughts?

So my sous and I are going to be all up in her business for the next two weeks to ensure less face to face contact she has with other cooks.


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## nowiamone (Jan 23, 2005)

I had one gal on staff, that would stir things up constantly, then as it was starting to get out of her control she would get tears in her eyes and say "I just want us to all get along." Huge relief when she was gone.

I have a line that totally unsettles them, and puts an end to someone running up to me saying "She doesn't think you like her, your are always correcting the way she's doing things." (duh??? If I like them I'll let them do it wrong?????) I tell them that I don't have to like someone to work with them, I just want every to perform their job. I'm not here to socialize, I'm here to run a business and I never concern my self with whether or not I like someone, I just watch their performance.

You have a drama queen on your hands, shut it down. Every time someone comes to you with any comment what she has to say, tell them you don't care to hear it, you don't want to particiapate.


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## atltournant (Apr 24, 2007)

Or you can do the oldest trick in the book: over the next two weeks,tweak her schedule by a few less shifts a week.It's not "firing" and may get her out of the door faster when she sees that her shifts are being covered just fine by the other cooks,which you'll have to do anyhow.
I've seen people get written off the schedule entirely after giving notice,and there's nothing they can do about it.


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

Nowhere have I seen anyone say: *you need to communicate better with your staff.* There's an overlap at shift change? Great: have a mandatory meeting at which you tell them all that the sous is leaving, and _you_ tell them why; then you listen while they tell you what they're all worried about. All that personal crap is not part of this meeting (you have to make that clear at the beginning), but it is a symptom of deeper concerns. You are the exec, it is your job to _lead_. And that means dealing with legitimate problems and concerns that affect your staff's performance. How nice that you have an HR department; but it's your issue to deal with, not theirs.

As long as people already know that the sous has given notice, nothing positive will be accomplished by "punishing" her with fewer shifts, etc. In fact, it will only make the situation worse for everyone else and feed that rumor mill with speculation about what a lousy exec you are.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

Bravo!, Suzanne, for offering some sensible advice into this thread. 

It seems as though there are more than a few plot holes in the storyline as described here. 
What I garnered from the chef's posts was:
cook admits to crush on chef
chef ignores cook
cook gives notice 
cook says "not leaving without a fight" 

Huh?
I thought she gave notice, why would she have to fight for her job?

Isaac, I'm sorry, but if your communication skills in the kitchen are no better than what you exhibit here, it's no surprise you have a problem with the rumor mill.

All thosse passive-agressive tactics such as "slowly writing her off the schedule" and "being all up in her face so she can't talk to anyone" smacks loudly of poor leadership skills. For Pete's sake, grow and backbone and be honest and direct with your staff. Otherwise you come across as sniveling, conniving and manipulative.

BTW, that scheduling stuff IS illegal and could she could easily make a case to the Labor Board about retribution and harrassment and be reimbursed for her missing back pay.

Be upfront
Be honest
Be fair

and above all, don't encourage romance in the kitchen across the hierarchical divide.


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## bluedogz (Oct 11, 2006)

So... she put in her notice but is going to fight anyway? <<confusion>>

Sounds like the rumor mill had an unintended target for its teeth.


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## frayedknot (Dec 17, 2006)

I have found that once a person has given notice then all h*&% breaks loose. "what are they gonna fire me, they can't do that I quit"... some/all control has been lost at this point. 

Given this situation I would tell her thank you for her service, wish her the best in future employment, (she prolly already has a job) and I would tell her to take a two week vaction on the company... her check will be send at the next payday...and if the company can ever do anything for her ask her to contact HR. GET HER OUT OF THE KITCHEN, she can only spoil the rest of the staff, who by the way are watching closely to see how this is handled. They pick up on how far they can go, I mean heck if she can do "that" and act "that" way and not get fired... AND/OR she is already spreading terrible rumors that are spoiling the staff, at the very least they are wondering who's story to believe. Once she is out then have a meeting to re-establish the "line" not to cross... tell everyone else they are part of the team, but anyone who feels otherwise is free to go, and you will faciltate that...if not let's get back to what we do best... Work as a team to put out a great product.

*Cut her loose, bite the bullet and tell HR to find some help ASAP...end of problem...move on.* Remember you and the TEAM are bigger than ANY one person.

Just my .02


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

Suzanne and Food:

I think ya all misunderstood what I was saying. Let me elaberate:

She spread some rumors... she talked to everyone in the kitchen, the kitchen crew tells me everything. I ignore it. Kitchen drama... as always. She told more rumors.... said she strengthened my marriage with my wife. Sorry.... that is crap. How would YOU feel if a cook said that??

Anyway, two of my employees told me when I got in, instead of confronting her, I talked with HR. HR talked with her, she got pissed, blew up, blamed other cooks, put her two weeks in, said she was not leaving without a fight. Meaning she is not leaving quitly. On Saturday, I talked with my sous and he said she was chatting with everyone... spreading more rumors. 

I plan to talk with my GM tomorrow and see what he says. Cutting her loose would be just fine. If he does not agree, than yes, my sous and I will be watchign her closely to make sure she has no face time with anyone. How is that crappy leadership? That is protecting my assests... no??? 

I do not put much faith in gossip or rumors. I try to limit rumors in the kitchen. You can not stop them....


if ya all have any recomendation on how to stop it... I am listening.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Don't schedule here the last two weeks.


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## greg (Dec 8, 1999)

You write her up every time she does it. Once you get to 3 write-ups (shouldn't take much time at all, from what you say), fire her for cause.

As far as how to prevent things from going too far in the future, you need to demonstrate that you are in control of your kitchen. 2 things you should have done differently in this case: you shouldn't have ignored what was going on. Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. Secondly, you shouldn't have had HR take care of it; it's your kitchen, you should have handled this.

Don't take this as an insult, but if I were you, I would look for a job as a sous chef working for an experienced chef. It becomes increasingly clear to me just from your posts that you need more experience and mentoring before you will be qualified to assume an executive chef position.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

I have to agree with Greg.

Isaac, your response to this was only to feed the rumor mill. If she was making comments to others about you, your marriage etc. etc, the best approach is to speak with her directly.

There's a terrific formula for dealing directly with interpersonal problems whether in the workplace or elsewhere.
Ask to speak with here privately then:
1. Describe only the FACTS of the situation as YOU experience them
(example: "Sue, I have heard some rumors that other cooks have attributed to you")
2. State how those facts affect YOU or Your workplace
(example: "these rumors about my personal life lead to low productivity and undermine my authority")
3. State how you want the situation to change
(example: "I want you to refrain from speculating about others' personal lives and work to keep your conversations about the work at hand or popular culture")

Using this formula keeps the focus on YOU and YOUR professional needs and de-emphasizes her role in the whole problem. Therefore you do not allow a situation that descends into accusation and defensivness and then slams the door on any usefull dialogue.


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## crlevesque (Jul 16, 2007)

About a month ago we had a huge rash of problems at work. Line chefs got fired for smoking pot on the line (dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb). After that everyone was in accusation mode. Servers blaming cooks for everything, people pointing fingers at everyone. Everyone going to the exec. with every problem. 

Over the past month I have learned the power of confrontation. not going and screaming at people, but siting them down and talking to them like human beings. I discussed the issues with everyone and worked on how to resolve them. 

Result: The kitchen has never ran smoother. Kitchen crew and servers are getting together. People will come to me with small issues before they become large problems. People are now even going out of thier way to help eachother out.


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## crlevesque (Jul 16, 2007)

About a month ago we had a huge rash of problems at work. Line chefs got fired for smoking pot on the line (dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb). After that everyone was in accusation mode. Servers blaming cooks for everything, people pointing fingers at everyone. Everyone was going to the exec. with every problem. Drama was rampant.

Over the past month I have learned the power of confrontation. not going and screaming at people, but siting them down and talking to them like human beings. I discussed the issues with everyone and worked on how to resolve them. 

Result: The kitchen has never ran smoother. Kitchen crew and servers are getting together. People will come to me with small issues before they become large problems. People are now even going out of their way to help each other out.


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

I agree with all of the above wholeheartedly.


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

Why on earth are you listening to your kitchen crew when they are just spreading rumors to YOU? YOU are the problem. It is so absolutely clear from all you have said here. YOU are the one spreading the rumors by eagerly listening to your kitchen crew about stupid crushes when YOU should just tell them you don't want to hear it. YOU are willing to sit and listen to the crap so how YOU feel when YOU hear crap is YOUR problem. Then it is YOU who is going and repeating the rumors to YOUR superiors. 

You, Isaac, are a gossip.


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## baddabing (Jun 9, 2007)

Isaac,
I know you came here with a question. People have been criticle of your approach and your ability. Take it with a grain of salt. Everyone manages differently. The fact that you asked for help tells me you're in a learning mode and willing to accept help.
Face to face is always better. Your HR is your support, not your substitute. I personally feel the situation needs a sit down face to face with HR there to document. Let her lie, move on, set some goals, whatever. This will establish a baseline from which to disapline when needed.
Isacc, In this industry, it is always best, never to put any of your business in the street. Keep acquaintances at work and your friends outside of work.
baddaboom


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## osirus (Sep 19, 2006)

give them a good dose of there own medicine, next time someone is bother you with stupid gossip put them on speaker phone let the all the rest of the people hear them and eveyone will know who the gossip queen and she/he will be so embaressed no more gossip to anyone, they certainly wont trust you and no more gossip for your ears, or always them them the complete opposite of what they say, soon enough they will think that your argumentitive and again no more rumors or idle chat. but who cares your a work,


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Suzanne and Foodnfoto - good advice.

I don't work in the industry but have been in business for many moons, in a managerial role. I'd be cutting her loose now - it'd be worth the two weeks free pay just for some peace and quiet at work.

One time we had a very disgruntled worker who gave their 2 weeks notice, but was trying their hardest to be disruptive with the rest of the staff -maximum damage before leaving. Answer : here's your cheque, pack your things and don't come back.


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## isaac (Jun 9, 2001)

bad: Thank you very much 

I simple asked a question. I was not expecting to get a "you suck, you shouldbt bee a exec chef, go back and be a sous chef" sorta answer. 

I was asking a question TO SIMPLE GAIN ADVICE.... as I am WILLING TO LEARN. 

I am not perfect by no means... I am young and have a lot to learn. 

However, on the other hand, ya all should be supportive of someone... not so freaking distructive with your feedback. 

After reading the pasts, I felt like $hit all day... ...

thank you for that feeling....


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## nowiamone (Jan 23, 2005)

Issac, His advice was pretty good. Just because you had to examine you own role in this drama, doesn't mean it was bad advice. If it bothered you that much, it was probably worthy of some self examination.

We all learn all the time, and the lessons are very seldom kind.


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## baddabing (Jun 9, 2007)

Isaac,
I was truly trying to be supportive. My advice was just something I have used in the past. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt.


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

Cut your chest open.....remove your heart from your sleeve...
put it back in your chest....sew it up....move on....if this little
bump in the road seems bothersome to you....let me tell you....
your going to experience some far more challenging situations
if you continue in this business.....I think the word acceptance
is particularly relevant for you right now.....there are three things
I struggle with every single day.....to criticize, to complain, to show
contempt.......let me tell you brother, your really devoting to much
energy and thought on this....get back to work and start knocking 
things out.....there's a lot to do, a lot to clean, a lot to learn, a lot
to organize......


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## greg (Dec 8, 1999)

I have as much control over how you feel after reading my advice as you do over what advice I give you. Deal with it.

By the way, even Anthony Bourdain said that if he could have done one thing differently in his career, it would have been taking the time to step back from the exec positions he took early on and working as a cook and learning.


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## harryd56 (Jul 29, 2007)

Unfortunately rumors can be just as lethal as a bomb, and they have to be stopped the minute you hear them.
Rumors are used in psyhcological warfare to great extents. They have been used to topple governments in various countries and are used by the media everyday in every country around the world, watch the major t.v. stations and you'll see the shows.
I dont allow this in my kitchens, never have and never will, I've been in this business for 37 years and I was taught by chefs since the age of 13 that it shouldn't be tolerated. If I overhear something my senses kick in, depending on the topic I either stop it right there with that individual in a VERY,VERY stearn manner or I start watching production of the individuals involved in the rumor. The minute I see something out of place e.g. one of them comes to work late and never has before; or starts going against procedures, etc; or starts disagreeing with others I step in, have a staff meeting and drop the hammer on them. "I don't mind everyone discussing where they went this past weekend, or what they did and whom they did it with, as long as you don't mind it however, 1 week ago I overheard one of you stating such and such about so and so, I'm going to make this statement one time and one time only, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE TALK ABOUT IT FROM THIS POINT ON!
I spent twenty+ years in the military and have worked in kitchens from Korea to Germany, and all over the U.S. both civilian and military and it is no different anywhere. There is always somebody trying to start something about someone or something. Let them talk and have fun, when it gets personal or I hear something about my operation I nip it in the bud immediately. If you let it go on you are taking the chance of being labled as non chalant or non caring espicially if it gets out of hand and the topic concerns another employee.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

In the last place I managed, the owner told me it was like babysitting, I had to be concerned about all their personal crap. I said I was running a restaurant, not a day care center. At one point he said everyone on the crew hated me. I asked around a little bit, found it wasn't true, that in fact it was him they hated. Anyway, I had three drama queens on one shift that used to feed off each other's crap. One time the owner came through and told me I must have changed my attitude as the morale seemed to be better. I told him it was because I did what I said I was going to do- ignore them. If they're trying to stir up trouble and it doesn't work, they stop. In our state we have at-will employment laws, which means you can fire someone for breathing. Your sous would be out the door now, before she can start anything else.


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## harryd56 (Jul 29, 2007)

I wholeheartedly agree with you greyeaglem but when you have human resource managers that want a manilla folder stretched to it's limits with documentation because their corporate headquarters has them scared to death of lawsuits the "right to work" policy goes out the door.

I have seen employees tell a GM to go **** himself and get away with it. My DM asked me what my reaction would be and I let the management staff know without hesitation that they would be looking for a new chef within 5 seconds after the words were stated. I have a 30 year old and a 28 yr old that I won't allow to talk to me like that let alone somebody else's offspring.

The kitchen is a professional arena where everyone has to be on top of their game and focused. Don't get me wrong, I allow a radio, and I like to tell a few jokes and have fun while we are in production but once service starts it time for seriousness. During production we can talk about anything we want as long as it doesn't directly affect another person physically or mentally.


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