# Wife of the Chef



## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Just gone done reading it Wife of the Chef... anybody else partake? I don't want to say too much about it, in fear of 'skewing' your opinion.
Anybody?!


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## chefhogan (Jun 15, 2003)

This sounds like an interesting read. My culinary career has destroyed any chance of a relationship lasting. Can you tell me the author?

Thanks in advance..

Chef Hogan


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Culinary career ruining any chance of a relationship? That's a whole other thread... but here's the book info...










it is penned by Courtney Febbroriello, 288 pages and there are a bunch of used copies available for 6-bucks or so on Amazon.


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## chefhogan (Jun 15, 2003)

Great, thanks Jim....


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

My wife, (who is a "wife of a Chef") is reading it right now.

This restaurant is in CT where we live.

I'll see what she thinks about it when she's done.


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## pete (Oct 7, 2001)

Ok, Jim, give us an opinion. Is it worth reading? Should I buy it for Wanda and make her read it? Come on, what's the skinny?


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Ok, ok. Here's my take. I will preface what I say with this: I am critical when people talk about the industry of which we are all (or mostly all) part of. That said, I thought Wife was self-serving and egocentrical. What does that mean to the reader? Well, she comes off of being jealous of her husband's noteriety, although she could, possibly, capitalize on being in the front of the house. My expectation when going into the book was a tale of the long hours, stresses, abuses, etc.... almost a Kitchen Confidential in reverse. That, it is not. I prefer, quite honestly, to get the viewpoint of an "at-home" chef's wife. 
Without slamming her too much, the read comes accross like Bon Apetit meets Emeril, if that makes sense. To be perfectly frank, if she operates her place the same way she comes accross in the book, it must not be a terribly fun place to be employed.

Again, just my take. I started this thread because I am critical and am search of other insight. You?


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## pete (Oct 7, 2001)

Ok, looks like I am going to have to check it out, but doesn't look like a book I am going to bump to the top of my list. Which means I should get to it within the next year!!!


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## chefhogan (Jun 15, 2003)

I do not have to read this, I am living it! ;-)


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## chell (Mar 5, 2013)

Jim said:


> Ok, ok. Here's my take. I will preface what I say with this: I am critical when people talk about the industry of which we are all (or mostly all) part of. That said, I thought Wife was self-serving and egocentrical. What does that mean to the reader? Well, she comes off of being jealous of her husband's noteriety, although she could, possibly, capitalize on being in the front of the house. My expectation when going into the book was a tale of the long hours, stresses, abuses, etc.... almost a Kitchen Confidential in reverse. That, it is not. I prefer, quite honestly, to get the viewpoint of an "at-home" chef's wife.
> 
> Without slamming her too much, the read comes accross like Bon Apetit meets Emeril, if that makes sense. To be perfectly frank, if she operates her place the same way she comes accross in the book, it must not be a terribly fun place to be employed.
> 
> Again, just my take. I started this thread because I am critical and am search of other insight. You?


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## chell (Mar 5, 2013)

I always wanted to write a book on this. I am 46 years old woman.my husband 11 years younger who is a chef and a restaurant/bar owner. I was married prior for 17 years and was a stay at home mom. I never drank didnt smoke and was in a bubble. My husband has Add, adhd and ocd which all of these are great to have as a chef, so I hear. But so hard for me. I work with my husband everyday and thank God Im in the front of the house. Sometimes it gets too much. In the beginning it was thrilling now its exhausting at times to keep up with all this. I only get a certain window a day or shall I say late late night till I have him all to myself. Even though I do understand that most of it is all show like paying attention to customers and showing interest it kills me because I dont have long conversation with him. The outbursts sometimes the drinking the 100 hrs we put in and even no recognition of what I do.even him paying more attention to the employees. At times I want to throw in the towel but I know I wont. As a wife of a chef I know my role at the restaurant. I thrive on the fast paste of the industry always wanting to do better and the challenge. Theres so much more I can say but cant. I have been thru alot these couple years and at times I feel like a widow. I still highly respect my husband and really do honor him. I know that what he does is so stressful.


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## emulsifiedfam (Jul 10, 2014)

This thread is from a while ago, but I read this book a few months ago.  (I've been married to a chef for 19 years.)  I was disappointed in the book, but mostly because of my expectations.  I have never worked a day in a restaurant, but support my chef/husband from home. I was hoping to find the book to be about that, not about owning and working in the restaurant with your chef.  If that is part of your role as a chef wife, I'm sure you could relate to the book much more than I could.  I have also read Delancey by Molly Wizenberg, also written by a chef's wife, but again it's from the perspective of opening and owning a restaurant with a chef.  Still looking for a book about what it's like to be married to a chef but written by someone who doesn't work with their chef.


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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

Well while you're waiting on finding the right book, are there any particular issues 
weighing on you that we might be able to help you with?


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## emulsifiedfam (Jul 10, 2014)

Thanks!  Well since you asked . . . I'd love to hear how other families balance the hours of a chef and the traditional hours of school (for those who have kids).  There are many days the kids go without seeing my husband and that's hard on all of them.  We are finding ways to make it work and are doing fine.  But I would love to hear how other families do it.


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