# A wee Scottish/English joke for you



## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Hope u understand it. My Brother sent it this morning n im still giggling
PS no offence meant to the English...Honest


A Wee Scottish Tale....

A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland burn.

A Gamekeeper shouts, 'Dinnae drink tha waater! It's foo ae coo's
shite an pish!'

The man replies,
'My Good fellow, I'm from England. Could you repeat that in English for me.'

The keeper replies,
'I said, use two hands - you spill less that way!!!


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

You're in trouble now, Bughut---I had a mouthful of coffe while reading that, and it's now all over the monitor and keyboard. :lol:


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Really hits ur giggly-pin eh? You still cleaning your computer?...Sorry bout that


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

thats a good joke mate....I worked renaissance fair's for years and totally get it.

here's an old one that i still love to tell.....



A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Scotsman are all drinking in a pub. The Frenchman looks down and sees a fly in his wine. He then tosses it out saying "Meh. We French have so much wine that i do not care about this little bit."

Soon the Englishman notices he has a fly in his ale. He tosses it aside saying "We English have so much ale I can afford to waste this little bit"

some time passes among the three when the Scotsman suddenly notices a fly in his Scotch.

He immediately reaches into his drink and grabs the fly saying " Och! SPIT IT OUT YA THIEVING BA**ARD!!


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Old ones are the best eh Gunnar?:lol:


Now, you wouldnt be impying any meanness towards a Scots hospitality would you?

Theres a pint waiting for you next time your near Dundee.


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

Wouldn't dare imply that a Sot's hospitality was less then perfect. The joke merely implies the importance of the nectar of life, the only thing as good as a shot of single malt is the pint sitting next to it. cheers.:beer:


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Ah then, perhaps you KNOW why a Scotsman can never enjoy his pipe?


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Do tell.:bounce::bounce::bounce:


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Well, if he's smoking his own tobacco, he's worried about the cost so he packs it light and it burns too hot.

And if he's smoking somone else's tobacco, he packs it so tight that it won't draw!

(Disclaimer: Told to me by my paternal Grandmother, who was a "Gordon" married to a MacCracken)


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## crimsonmist308 (Jan 27, 2008)

okay .... let's not get too uptight about ethnic jokes 
not intended to be mean ... okay??

that said, why do the scots wear kilts?


answer: sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away!


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## izbnso (May 12, 2007)

Q: What do you call a Scot that wears a kilt that comes to his mid thigh?
A: A laddie.

Q: What do you call a Scot that wears a kilt that comes to his knee?
A: A Laird

Q: What do you call a Scot that wears a kilt that comes to his mid calf?
A: A liar


CREAG AN TUIRC!!!!


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

CREAG AN TUIRC!!!! 

Hey Izbnso

So you're one of the Alabama Maclarens are you?


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## izbnso (May 12, 2007)

Bughut,

Yes I am. My people left Scotland in the colonial days and settled in Virginia. When Alabama opened to settlement my direct line came down here, settling in the central part of the state in the early 19th century. Our line has always spelled it McLaurine (my maiden name) and a few off shoots spell it McLaurin. (We are somehow related to Colin the mathematician, a bitter sweet connection. On the one hand there is the family pride of being kin to such a brilliant mind and on the other is the fact that he fortified Edinburgh AGAINST the Jacobites…the shame I tell you, the shame.) . 

My father (Now in Tennessee) has in the last few years decided to take up attending highland games as his new hobby. He and my step mother (a Patterson, one of our sept names) go to four or five a year. In the last year or two Clan MacLaren was the featured clan at the Grandfather Mountain games and they got the opportunity to meet our Clan Chief. Dad had much praise for our charismatic chief.(He sent me a few pictures of them together.) He is only the third Chief we have had over the last several centuries. His grandfather and father being the other two. Apparently we weren’t a recognized clan for a very long time, something about no one being willing to sign some British document to get the title, imagine that. 


And so the Southern genealogist in me has to ask if you too have a connection to the Boar’s Rock.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

No. but we live about an hour away , and enjoy weekends on the Trossachs when we can. 

We named our third son after Gregor Mcgregor, Rob Roys clan chief. I was reading the Rob Roy trilogy while i was pregnant and my husband went along with my romantic notion. 
Even though, in reality Their shameful history ( especially the virtual wiping out of the clan Mclaren) was nothing to be romantic about.

We have a pub up the road from us called the Boars rock. Rough as all get-out.

Have you ever been to Scotland?
Are you enjoying your research?
Number 2 son is showing his freinds from New york around the highlands in October. Dont know whos more excited, him or them. Its easy to be passionate about such an amazing place.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I've always wanted to go to Scotland and stay at a castle that's been converted into a bed & breakfast. Haven't heard too many good things about the food though.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Oh dear. Thats a bit harsh dont you think. And such an unfair generalisation

We're not all deep-fried mars bars and Haggis you know.

There are good and bad b&b's here, just as we've found in America

About 12 miles away from Dundee across the Tay and into the kingdom of Fife you'll find Fernie castle. Their b&b is incredible. Their chef is amazing and i would highly reccomend it.

As a nation, We Scots have consistently produced world class chefs................

....i'll shush now before i start a real patriotic tirade

I would say, Try it before you knock it.


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## bubba (Dec 10, 2008)

Anthony Bourdain did a show on Scotland in his No Reservations series. Seems since the English stopped taking all the good stuff the Scottish cullinery scene has really blossomed.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

>We're not all deep-fried mars bars and Haggis you know.<

And what, exactly, is wrong with a haggis, lassie?


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Well I can't knock it because I haven't been there. The rumors I've heard extend throughout Britain, not just Scotland but I found the food in London to be good. Then again Britain suffers from a terrible stereotype on food. What is the cuisine actually like? I adore Gordon Ramsay so it can't be all bad.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Nothing wrong with haggis, porrige, square sausage, clootie dumpling etc.etc KY but we do tend to be stuck with this steriotypical diet. Its simply our old as the hills traditional fare. Every culture has there own.
Scotland is changing though and we have an ever opening outlook towards new cuisines, which is growing at a dramatic rate.
I for one, am extemely proud of what we are acheiving. Just as i am of our culinary heritage


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I'm a Gillespie, the name coming from Scotland. I'm a direct descendant of Lady Godiva, no kidding


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

What can i say? I just hope you havnt inherited her tendecies. 

Sorry i'm being flippant. I know it was for a good cause.

I dont know any Gillespies. Where do they hail from?


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I don't even particularly like horses. :suprise:

One somewhat-known ancestor of mine is George Gillespie from Kirkcaldy, who lived in the 17th century. That happens to be my father's name too.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

I don't even particularly like horses. :suprise:

well they would chafe wouldnt they, under the cicumstances:lol:


Do you know much about George?

A relative of my husband did a serious (lifes work ) dig into family history. No major skeletons. No rogues. Its not always exciting, but worth a look eh?

Just imagine, The clan McBughut


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

>Just imagine, The clan McBughut <

Rode with Henry Wallace, as I recollect. :lol:


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

I'm a McQuarrie on my mothers side. seems from what i can find we helped break clan MacDonalds hold on northern Scotland (No more super sizing). Then we apparently made the mistake of joining a fight against Cromwell. I couldn't really find much evidence but we seemd to be from the isle of man or glass or thereabouts. Then we disappeared and there was a battle mentioned that Cromwell won. I then found Port Macquarrie and MacQuarrie harbor in Australia and Tasmania, founded about 1 year or so after that battle. Seems we may have got the boot.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

If my dad or sis found any skeletons, they didn't tell me about it.
The kitchen smelled of old men's underwear that bughut found.:crazy:


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

We have a school in Edinburgh called James Gillespie's. It's about 200 years old and when I was a girl was 'girls only' - but I believe it is now open to boys and girls, as I see boys out and about wearing their distinctive uniform!

I just googled the school and found this info which might interest you!
James Gillespie's High School


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

Koukouvagia
The stereotype of Scottish food being bland, tasteless or even badly cooked is long overdue a makeover. We have more than our fair share of michelin starred chefs, as well as many good restaurants. In Edinburgh we have innovate chefs like Tom Kitchin and Tony Singh and Malcolm Duck - all of whom specialise in local seasonal food and wonderful local meat and fish. Don't forget it was our famous Aberdeen Angus and other breeds that 'beefed up' (pun intended!) a lot of the USA's beef herds. Our soft-fruits are second to none, our tomatoes and other veggies are wonderful, full-flavoured and many grown organically.

You could never hope to eat at ALL our wonderful restaurants in one trip here.. and that's just Edinburgh, never mind places like the 3 Chimneys on Skye!


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I'll make it over there some day, I've promised myself!


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

You'll love the place... And yes, I know I'm biased....


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Not sure if i'm missing a joke, or do you want to start a new story? Go on, I'll play:bounce:


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

bughut, it was a dumb joke I made . . . you said something about no skeletons, and then I was suggesting one for you :crazy:


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Silly me. I can be a bit thick sometimes :blush:


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## 3dfan (Jun 23, 2009)

I really liked it , laughed a lot - thanks for posting this!


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## afteraithe (Jun 24, 2009)

Haha same here! I really enjoyed this thread.


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