# life regrets



## rubiksolved (Sep 6, 2008)

Hey guys, 

In the course of my life so far I’ve come across plenty of people with regrets they’ve had in their own lives. And seeing how life is so incredibly short… I just kind of wanted to see what everyone else’s regrets are. 

Career-life objectives?
Relationships?
Family?

It would be pretty cool to learn from each other’s *mistakes* or to see what we would do differently at your age. So I guess when you post… it’ll be cool if you posted your age along with your posting.

I know a lot of people out there also try to live without regrets... and even if you do, it'd be helpful to see something you'd change.. rather than regret. 

Here’s mine:
I regret not spending enough time to keep in touch and to foster relationships with the significant people in my life. I feel like I’ve been too distracted with the other aspects of life (work and school primarily) that I just kinda lost touch with people I would rather not have lost touch with… I know its not too late.. but I feel like some relationships have deteriorated too much for full repair..
Age:22


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## salliem (Nov 3, 2006)

Years ago when I first started in this business I missed alot of family ***tions...fun stuff, dinners. I see pictures of those times and realize I was not there because I was working. Some of the people in the pictures have since passed away. I will never do that again, my work will never be that important.

I am 52.


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

Only two...


Shoulda kissed a girl when I was 15. Sigh.......

And about 25 years later I shoulda taken a landlord to small claims court.

Other than that, nope. No regrets about anything


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I should have practiced scales more dilligently when I was a violin student.

I should have learned to say no with gumption.

I should have taken the opportunity to study abroad when I was a student.

I should have continued taking dance classes.

Age: 32


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

Not so much regret as the typical "if I knew then....".

I have had friends and family tell me "looks like you made the wrong choice" whenever I land at a job I'm not happy with.
But I never look at it that way.
Moving from one job to another is a 2 part issue, where I'm leaving, and where I'm going.
Most moves were initiated due to where I was.
I had to go.
Even if I didn't land at a place I could call home for an extended period, and ultimately moved on due to being unsatisfied, I still considered the move a good one.
Then there were the moves initiated due to where I was going.
I great opportunity comes up and I just have to take it.

I honestly have never regretted taking any job, regardless of outcome.
Life is about the present and the future for me, not so much the past.


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## 404chef (Jul 9, 2008)

no regrets, really because anything that i have experienced is what has made me in to the person that i am today and i like me. 

my woulda shoulda coulda is that i would have spent more quality time with my son. losing him in a car accident 2 years ago (a few days short of his 20th birthday) has almost killed my spirit of life. now everything that seemed so significant (fussing at him etc) seems so minute. time could have been spent spoiling him more.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my brother when he was 18 to a vicious disease and thought I'd never live to smile again. With time you learn to treasure even the most insignificant little fights you had with him, and all regrets will be in the past. Have courage, thanks for sharing.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I regret not having gone through with a college degree that my parents were willing to pay for (as long as I did my part as well such as doing work study). I got more interested in my girlfriend than college and dropped out for a few years. After that I was on my own, for college. Instead of the engineering degree I had in mind, I have 3 years of college now, 27 years later, and work in the HVAC field.

You know what, though . . . I like what I'm doing and the grass might not be greener on that unknown path that I passed up. It's one thing that's impossible to know for sure.

I'm 45.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

One thing that I'm glad I have is the ability to appreciate what I have. I grew up with everything I needed and not a whole lot more. Just having this computer and internet connection is more than most people in the world have, and I count myself fortunate, materially speaking.

Personal relationships are another matter, though. I had a big loss there, but since there wasn't much I could do about it, I wouldn't call it a regret. Now that I have children I love dearly and who I don't live with, I will try to make sure I spend plenty of time with them so that I don't have any regrets in the future.

I also think that everybody ought to forgive themselves for things they had no control over or didn't have the wisdom to help at the time. If you've lost something or someone you can never have back, sure the pain can be very deep. But to blame yourself when it's not called for, just makes it harder.


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## chefraz (May 10, 2007)

I was listening to the radio
I heard a song reminded me of long ago
Back then I thought that things were never gonna change
It used to be that I never had to feel the pain
I know that things will never be the same now

I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know

I recall hanging out on Friday night
The first slow dance
Hoping that I'll get it right
Back then I thought I'd never ever stand alone
It used to be that a lonely heart was never shown
I know that things will never be the same

I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know

Can't go back

I can't go back

I know now that things will never be the same

I said
I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know

I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know

I wanna go back
And do it all over again
But I can't go back I know
I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know

No, No
And do it all over...


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

Forgive yourself, and try not to dwell on the "what-ifs".


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## irish foodie (Sep 16, 2008)

firsrt off chef404 i am so sorry for you tragic loss. i don't even want to imagine your pain - the thought as a mother terrifies me.

but back to the thread title.

i have to say, i have loved each era of my life. i have things in my childhood i love thinking of. i adored my teen years. then in my twenties i met my husband and had my kids. and thankfully we are all still together and i love my life and i am so grateful the people i love are still around me. yes, i have lost some of my loved ones but still i love my life and i hope i continue to love my life. i think a positive attitude is good - it may not save you from horrible happenings but it certainly helps carry you through.

and to finish, i am glad i have no regrets - i have loved every minute of my life. and hope to continue in that vein.


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## shel (Dec 20, 2006)

Married the wrong woman - but I divorced the right one ... I hope she appreciates my terra cotta loaf pan, although I doubt it.


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

Maybe she'll use it to plant pansies. 

No regrets. Life is there for the moment, so might as well make the most out of every moment. 

Did ya ever think you'll regret having spent so much time regretting stuff?


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## chefboyofdees (Nov 11, 2007)

mention...(ok, YES everything DOES bring to mind a song)

If I DID have a regret, it would be that I wasted 25 years of my life with a "none", a vicious self-centered woman; and that I was too STUPID to realize it until 25 years later. I would still be 'cursed' with the same disability disease that I'm cured with now...I would still not be able to pursue my love of cooking professionally...BUT I would not have met the love of my life (my best friend and partner)...my DG Lainie. 

Happy New Year to my mishpochah....


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## shel (Dec 20, 2006)

What makes you think I spend much time regretting stuff?


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I sometimes find myself thinking too much about regrets, really. I try to think about what I am doing to try to prevent the same kinds of mistakes. That way, the present has less regrets.


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

The question was meant for the original poster, who apparently does spend much time regretting stuff.


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## vera bradley (Mar 21, 2004)

As I look back - and I can look _waaaay_ back - I don't regret any big decisions or choices nearly as much as I regret the times I was simply unkind or thoughtless in small ways to fellow human beings along the way. It mattered far more than I realized. So much more.

Now, I am being more careful with my words and actions. I think I am. I do try. I hope not to hurt any others ever again, even unintentionally.

Should I succeed (in not emotionally wounding others) as I complete life's journey, this will be the result, the lesson, the lasting value, of all my past regrets.

I regret not considering this at twenty-two years of age.


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