# Gods diet



## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

*God's Diet *

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasties, and stints...

And Satan created HMO's...

And on it goes......


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Ouch!!


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## kimmie (Mar 13, 2001)

Double ouch!


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## momoreg (Mar 4, 2000)

So the moral is????

(Eat fries and forget about going to heaven?) 

I think I'll have a salad for lunch!

:smoking: :beer:


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## katbalou (Nov 21, 2001)

chrose,
way to true and funny. :roll: :roll: :roll:


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Momoreg,would that be a single salad or a compound salad?
What type of dressing will you have it? An alleged low type or a rich one that has lots of flavour and CALORIES !!! . Leo.


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## momoreg (Mar 4, 2000)

I skipped the salad, actually, and went right for the chocolate. BAD, BAD, BAD!!


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Ah, but chocolate comes with a side of seratonin, so eat up, sister! :lips:


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

Today I am blaming Satan for the invention of the delicious Manhattan on the Rocks, cast parties and celebrity audience. 
Oh, my head----
Oh, my tummy-----


Never, ever again! You'd think I'd have learned by now....


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

Yeah, right.  

May you have many more celebrity openings -- spaced apart only by long runs!!!!


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

"My Mom got fat on shame. She'd say "I't's a shame to throw this out, it's a shame to throw that out"...
- Sam Levenson


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## isa (Apr 4, 2000)

If it's not one thing it's the other, you can never win!


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## rachel (Oct 27, 2001)

:lol: :lol: too true!! except I had to look up on the net to find what an HMO was, but i suppose i could replace it with NHS (National Health Service) waiting lists - cheaper but even more inefficient. . . .


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## lumpia (Sep 21, 2002)

Wow, how did I manage to stumble across this thread? I find it very informative! Also, if you didn't know, there is a book about all the fast food nations, called Fast Food Nation . I bought the book a couple of months ago and have found it very informative. It will show you what's wrong with the fast food industries. After reading that book, I made the decision never to eat at a fast food place again.


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## pastachef (Nov 19, 1999)

Chrose, that is hilarious! I always say if the right one doesn't get you then the left one will. We're always running from the inevitable.


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