# Kitchen Personalities........



## chefintraining (Jul 29, 2006)

There are many categories that people in the kitchen fall into such as.....

"The Clock Milker" This is the person who will take at least one hour or more for each and every task no matter how easy or how difficult because he/she is timing his actions to work as least as possible.

"The Headless Chicken" This is the person who works very very hard but has no direction. He/she works harder than they have to because they don't think things through or don't know how to use certain equipment.

"The Kiss ***" This is the person who only works hard only when the Chef is around. This person also will indirectly let the Chef know that they are hard working by speaking to another person but speaks loud enough so that Chef can hear them.

"The Young culinary student" This is usually that one culinary student that does everything by the book. He/ she works just as they were trained but sometimes they pick up bad habits from others around em. I.E. taking shortcuts. Young as in fresh out of culinary school

"The Walker" This person loves to walk around. They start to walk around after they finish there tasks. They don't do any more work than they are required to do, no helping anyone because they are selfish and lazy.

"The Handicap" This person is not really handicapped but he/she doesn't work to their full potential because they know that somewhere along the line the Chef will ask someone to save, I mean help there sorry a**.

Do any of you have any other personalities in mind????


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

Oh, there are many other types too. I tend to deal with them and not put up with them though...


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I'm surprised this one isn't here...

The Hard Worker - Does everything that is expected of him cleanly, professionally, within the time granted


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## rivitman (Jul 23, 2004)

"The Mercenary"
The guy you spent months training who leaves for another twenty five cents an hour.

"The Tweaker"
Something is just wrong with him.

"Mr Sensitive"
This is a kitchen, not a church or confessional.

"underground"
Has no bank accounts. No insurance of any kind, Cashes his paycheck down the street. Lives hand to mouth, payday to payday, and has no ambition beyond that.

" The Drama queen"
Because just saying it isn't enough.


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## powers (Dec 7, 2006)

I'm with RAS. People seem to overlook the one with good qualities. I've found that we are a minority in a lot of kitchens. How about this:

The Success- Someone who strives to do the job to the best of there ability, meanwhile striving to better themselves by learning from those around them, moving up the ladder and helping others, no matter what people (the shoemakers) around them may say.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

I don't think were omitting the good stuff for it's usually the the good worker coining these phrases.
Mine "pidgeons" the corperate suits that fly in, poop all over everything, make a mess, and then fly away.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

ROFLMAO:lol: :lol: 
Oh Man, Pan, do I ever know that one!


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## brittany (Dec 23, 2006)

Another bird is the " peacock". Their feathers get in the way of our jobs and you can't hear chef over their sqwaking about how good they are. Never want to admit when they ****ed up and always finds a way of making people below him feel very small. In other words, bullies with egos.


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## greg (Dec 8, 1999)

Good one Rivit. I've known my share.

Also, "the old school" - cusses, yells and hates the waitstaff during service, but gets everything done. After service, old school can be found at the bar.


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## sushigaijin (Apr 12, 2005)

I have one - 

The Sucker: Works his/her *** off for a business, possibly for years, spurred to super-human acheivements by promises of the Big Time/big paycheck - which of course will never materialize in that particular business. Generally a very competent employee who is too trustworthy and loyal for their own good.



Erik.


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

"The Phenom" or "What The F*** Are You Doing Here": Brilliant culinarian with oodles of potential who just wants to cook on the line, puts in tons of hours, creates spectacular dishes/presentations but doesn't aspire to be anything more than a cook.

"The She-Ra": Gurrrrrrl with massive chip on her shoulder determined to prove she is as tough as the boys, so much so she is often referred to by another, less affectionate word that rhymes with 'witch'.

"The 'WTF'": Kid who stares blankly at the task ahead of him/her for long moments before again asking what to do.

"The Finger Pointer": Tells on everyone incessantly for whatever mistake they may or may not have made.

"The Rogue/Casanova": Sleeps with all the waitresses, managers and hostesses... also sometimes known as "The Guy I Am Jealous Of"

"The Joker": Thinks everything is funny, is always smiling, doesn't have much going on up stairs and always says "No problem" when clearly he has one and it should be addressed in therapy.

"The Smoker": No one knows how this guy/gal ever accomplishes anything. They reek of stale cigarette or other more nefarious smoke and always seem to be outside smoking. This person tends never to get fired either and it makes you really angry.


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## logghib (May 4, 2005)

The Magician - Line cook who is able to perform unbelievable kitchen feats, but will never reveal the secrets behind their terrible and frightening powers.


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

Have we ever met? Hehehe  Why Soitenly. Nuk nuk nuk I resemble that remark (not really but since that is my chosen username...)


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## chefintraining (Jul 29, 2006)

"The Dumba**": This is the person who pretends they don't know sh** because they are just to lazy to preform the task. I.E. Chef: "Dumba** can you please make some coleslaw???? Dumba**: What's coleslaw??

"The Fatboy": This is the person whol will taste a sauce about 50 times only because there fat, not to get the taste right. Have you ever seen anyone standing over the stove with a thrid pan full of USED tasting spoons??
Then he wonders why his stomach hurts.

"The Slob": This is the person who will use the cutting board for there trash, unfinished product, and finished product until they start dropping sh*t on the floor. Also always wears the same Chef pants, you can tell because of the stains.

"The cool guy": This is the 18-22 year old kid who wears a sideways or backwards baseball cap in the kitchen instead of a skull cap or chef hat.

"The hard to please Chef" You can never please this Chef. Whenever you call him for tasting he'll say "this food is perfect but next time add a little more salt". Or if your prepping stuffed chicken breast or ANYTHING after you get done and break down the station he'll ask you How many did you make?.......You tell him fifty chef! He'll say make 10 more. EVERY FRIGGIN TIME.

The corporate moron: This person will tell you how tasty your GARLIC AIOLI is, not knowing that when one mentions aioli, it is automatically known to be a garlic mayonnaise.


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## rat (Mar 2, 2006)

You forgot the space cadet- the guy or girl who smokes so much weed they cannot even remember the recipe even after doing it over and over and over and over again. I'm lucky enough to have 2.

And of course The Immigrant_ the Spanish guy who works all day for crap pay who can do the work faster, more consistently and better than most, who is completely dependable, he just doesn't know English --I'm BLESSED with one of those too. I love you Edgar.

Also the invisible GM who never seems to be there when it is busy or the sauce hits the fan-- yup, got one too.


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

I'm very much like the "Headless Chicken" (duh! hence my screen name) however I do have direction and think. But usually, I rarely have the time to. Today for instance, I did 3 people's jobs in 1 shift and the only booboo I did was burn 4 philly steaks but otherwise, I did the grill perfectly, pita wraps perfectly, pizzas almost perfectly, screwed up 1 muffin out of 4 dozen, delivered all the caterings correctly and on time, covered everyone's break, served up breakfast fast and picture perfect, and still had time and energy to clean up. 

Oh btw, I was only running on 2 fruit juices, didn't...couldn't stop for lunch.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

"Old Reliable": This is the guy who lacks any and all creativity when it comes to his work, but he's fast, he's clean, he's dependable, and if you show him how to do something once, he's got it forever. Just don't ask him to think on his feet in a stress situation, because he'll fall apart if you do.


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## chefintraining (Jul 29, 2006)

what about
"Houdini": This is the one who always manages to do a disappearing act. Either outside smoking, in the walk in drinking booze, or out somewhere trying to hit on the wait staff.

"The scapegoat cook": When cooking this person ALWAYS seems to either season with Herbs de provence or Italian seasoning, only because it's a quick mix.

"The immigrant #2": When asked to preform a task he acts as if he doesn't understand english. He/she only understands english when he/she wants to. You ever ask he/she something?? Then you get the famous line of "I don't know"...with a thick spanish accent.

"Don Juan": Comes into work smelling like he put on a gallon of cheap cologne. Same goes for some women, but she wears a gallon of perfume and smells like a french whore.

"The walking accident": this person is just an accident waiting to happen. He/she uses improper knife techniques and cuts him/herself at least once a week. Grabs hot pans out of the oven with wet towels, and wonders why the towels get so darn hot. 
:chef::chef: :lol: :lol: :lol: :chef: :chef:


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## powers (Dec 7, 2006)

Very nice Mred...."the Rogue"!!!

I think of it more as "the ambassedor"- the guy who sleeps with the front of the house staff...waitresses, hostess and bartenders. This is a very important job because it emulsifies the the water (FOH) and oil (BOH), so then when cooks need drinks, or a table for their mom on a busy night or anything that as cooks we would just get brushed aside. This person has that special power to facilitate such needs. However sleeping with management is always best because you find out before anyone else and they can never "freak out" on you at work for fear they might get in trouble. So I hear........................


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

:talk: That sounded a little like you speaking from experience at the end there. What's up with that? 

I guess "The Ambassador" is an apt name for the "Rogue"

There is a few more

"Culinary School Fashion Victim": Wears his checked pants and toque even when everyone else in the kitchen is wearing jeans, bandanas and black coats.

"Bloody Mess": The person who always seems to burn themselves on the ovens, surfaces, pots and pans. This person also slices themselves open, seemingly, at every opportunity and trips, slips and falls constantly. This person spends more time patching themselves up or icing something then cooking.

"The 'Who's He/She Sleeping With?' Guy/Girl": This person is the lousiest cook in the world, shows up late, has plates come back, is rude and difficult but somehow always comes out smelling like a rose.


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## logghib (May 4, 2005)

The "Escoffier would be rolling in his grave" Newbie - The fresh-faced culinary graduate (or possibly extern) who actually believes that anyone cares they can namedrop old famous chefs, recite food trivia, or know what a coulis is. This is the person who will always say, "Well you know that dish isn't an _AUTHENTIC_ <insert culinary term here, followed by scads of food etymology while other people are actually doing work>.

(If you are one of these people let me tell you right now that I will always prefer to hang out with the reliable Columbian grill guy and talk about football than I'd want to sit around with you and gush over how creative the new menu is at Spring.)


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

Amen to that! Although I gotta hand it to Shawn McClain he really knows his stuff.

You and I always seem to agree on these kinds of things LogghiB. Here is another one.

"The Trotterite" A Chef who over complicates dishes to untenable extremes. The 'Orthodox' Trotterite will use four paragraphs to describe the texture of an edible flower in his salad.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Heh. I know this guy.


"The Man Who Would Be Puck": A chef whose idea of "creativity in the kitchen" equates to "combine two to five different cuisines in a "fusion" that's just shy of utterly bizarre, not to mention borderline disgusting (like Medallions of Goat's Leg Curried a la Kiwi Fruit with a side of Beet Puree and a Crusted Parmesan Asparagus Spear, all on a bed of Bulgar Wheat Bran Flakes).


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

The "bobble head" standing behind the chef while he is reaming someone.
The "referee" FOH suit trying to justify his or her existance by coming into the kitchen.
We have just written a small book. I claim it!!!
The "squatter" takes ownership for anything done in the past before you got here.


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## suzanita (Jan 30, 2006)

*The Knife: Claims the knives are too sharp/dull/light/heavy/small/large so he can't acually be expected to do his job under such conditions.*

*The Criminal: Friendly neighborhood drug dealer who begged you for a job so he could get into the work release program. Great worker, who threathens to come back and kill you once he is sprung for good. *

*The PMS chick: She can be excused from all bad behavior because she is PMS or PPMS (pre-pms) or the other PPMS (post-pms) or TOM. She's got the whole month covered! Let's all bow our heads, in silence, and wish for a Midol Moment. *

*The Historian: We have never done it like this before! We have never done it like this before! *

*The Family Tree: This guy has had so many grandmothers die that you have begun to keep track. Each of his parents must have been remarried a dozen times in order to come up with so many dead Grandmothers! *

Suz


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Hey now... some of my best, most talented, and most dependable line cooks are criminals on work-release.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

What about the knife-porn-freak. This is the guy who is so fond of his knives -shows them to everyone, recites a spectral analysis of the metal content to anyone who will listen, sharpens them on the steel as long and loudly as he can, flips out if anyone walks too closely to it, cuts veggies faster (and louder) than anyone, but can't caramelize an onion to save his life and completely crushes any lettuce he tries to cut and wash.


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## dmt (Jul 28, 2006)

I belive that PMS is now more commonly used as a TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for Putting Up with Men's S#!+... :smiles: 

Hand over the chocolate, and nobody gets hurt!!!


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## chefintraining (Jul 29, 2006)

"The hispanic gangster"- Claims to have left his skull cap at home, so he wears a hair net to show off his new gang member style haircut.

"The dishwasher with pride"- Will tell you to stack the two hundred pans neatly (one on top of the other) on the dirty dish rack when you try to dump it and run.

"the idiot pastry cook"- Her idea of pastries is laying out a box of Otis Spunkmeyer's cookies out on a parchment lined sheet pan.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

The Professional Hang-Over: Doesn't matter what day it is, this guy shows up on the line smelling vaguely of stale beer. His eyes are red and puffy, his voice is gravelly, and while you're pretty certain he's not actually drunk, you know damned sure that he was quite recently. Constantly raids the first aid kit for tylenol.


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## sushigaijin (Apr 12, 2005)

*The prankster:*

He's the person who makes the night bareable, whether it's leaving a scoop of butter (with chocolate sauce, just for effect) in an ice-cream bowl or a hockey-puck of espresso grinds dressed up with whipped cream for an unsuspecting server...and, who the heck put that sardine head in my shoe??

Erik.


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

The Stick In the Mud (Almost me in a nutshell)

Perhaps the most unamusing guy around, somewhat detached, is constantly worried and people may fear they have a stick up their posterior. But if you get to know him/her off the line, they may have a sense of humour.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

The "Pilot Fish" do I need to explain?

Erik,
I am so guilty of The Prankster :lol:


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## jayme (Sep 5, 2006)

LMAO!! this is so funny!!! How many people are seeing themselves? I guess I am a "hard worker"- worked a private party for 21 at a small Italian restaurant last week- 5 plate meal + dessert. I did prep, serve, and clean- I never washed so many dishes... but it was cool to have the sous tell me I was doing all his work for him and asked if there was anything he could do to help ME...LOL 


I've worked with a couple of "wine coneseurs"- the chef that perpetually has a glass of wine in his hand.(only the good stuff). Delegates chores well. By the end of the evening, he has equal to or more alcohol then the customers.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Be careful
Some wine will give you the hiccups:beer: :beer: :bounce:


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

At one stage, my whole breakfast and lunch crew were work release.

Here's one I'm sure we've all encountered, or perhaps maybe even been at some time:

The new culinary grad  Ack! It's been said. But then there's the "We do it the modern way now" graduate.  

How about "Needs a drink by noon chef?" In at 6am, chugs coffee all morning, has a coupla drinks by noon, out of the kitchen at 3pm, on call but never answers his phone because he's too drunk by 6pm.


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## owcm (Sep 3, 2006)

Good one I love it. I just hate those kind of cooperate chefs


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## ivdacook (Jan 13, 2007)

how about the "sandbag sally"? he's got a pasta called for the third course, and drops it as soon as the words have left your mouth!! when the table get picked up, he just adds some chicken stock to "liven them up". this s.o.b. tries to use veggies that have been sitting for 45 mins., because "re-blanching them, makes it okay".

IV


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

This the same guy as the fry refrier?


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

"The Recycler"- The Chef/Sous that makes the service and bus staff empty all the unused (but still been tainted by the guest) butter that comes back in bullets/plates from the tables into a bucket to use for clarified or roux. Hey I'm all for saving a buck but this is as bad as watching the person that's a "trashcan diver". For the proper "comic relief" on this see the Seinfeld episode with the eclair and George. LOL :smiles:


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

"Mister Get Out Of My Kitchen And Don't Come Back", you mean?


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

"The Dumpster Diver"- FOH Manager in-charge of smallwares that makes the dishwashers search the dumpster/trashcans for lost plates, silver and other goodies.


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## jayme (Sep 5, 2006)

There are a few mentions of sterotypical "new grads" and "students" - are they all that bad?? I realize I'm not a "typical" student (partially because I have a positive IQ and I already run a business in the marine industry)- but do that many newbies think they are going to re-invent the culinary world???? are they giving us all a bad name?:roll:


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

For every 9 students who come out of culinary school "smart" there is the tenth who thinks he is going to reinvent the wheel and wants to be Sous Chef right out of the gate. I blame the teachers partially but mostly the recruiters who promise you all sorts of unrealistic things. I don't think students at large are bad but it's the few standouts who are really rubbish that paint a bad picture. It isn't fair but it's out there.

Back on topic, how about...

"The Skinflint" -- Searches your bin for things you threw out that could be used for stocks and isn't opposed to taking it back out of your bin to throw into a Mire Poix. (Hopefully AFTER washing but not always)

"The Taskmaster" -- Chef who stands on the line sipping Espresso with a self-satisfied smirk for hours on end.

"The Chef De 'Party'" -- (not a misspelling) The chef who talks of nothing but the next drunken pub crawl and the last drunken pub crawl.

"The Chef De Poseur" -- Somehow walked into his job with little to no qualification but is now barking nonsensical instructions at you and when you ask for clarification as to why you should remove the skins from the garlic cloves before roasting since it won't turn out right he gets huffy and storms off.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Jayme,
I don't think it's that the newbies are bad, just green
I opened a large hotel in the 80's and we had dozens in the bakery.pastry shop.
I had approx. 18 "Starched Penguins" newly grads, march or waddle into the pastry shop every morning. They wanted to know when they would be able to work on the sugar and show pieces. I fed them one by one to the experienced Sharks on the production side. Most of them came back with a different perspective and managed to find a home. Some never came back:lol:


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## jayme (Sep 5, 2006)

Pan-
Sounds like a great way to be educated!!! you know the saying..."if you can't take the heat......." 
here's one I get to work with...

A "Lame Duck"- claims or pretends not to know anything, has to be shown how to do everything... again. Just like working with a child- easier to do it yourself than to wait for them to figure it out.....
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

I think I'll prefer the lame duck to the person who thinks they know everything and then proceed to give me blank stares when I ask them to french a rack of lamb. As long as the lame duck eventually remembers how to do something after I've showed them a couple of times.


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

*The Firecracker*: The quasi savant with more natural talent than most everyone else you have ever met, comes in every day with a dubious mixture of drugs in his/her system and is capable of anything from cranking out perfect sublime food like some sort of g-d or could lose it at a server criticizing a sauce and almost decapitate someone with a saute pan...


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

*50 cent*The person who half the time they are ok, the other half you wanna kill'em...


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## felixe the dog (Jul 16, 2006)

Who or what the h3ll is an "Otis Spunkmeyer"???:lol:

"The Suitcase" Always in the way and always having to be carried!


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## cacook (Jan 18, 2006)

I think that's me too.


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

The "I must Have Missed That Day At Culinary School" Kid: This weekend a recent graduate of Robert Morris College's culinary program asked me (me who is not a Culinary School graduate by the way) how to make several different sauces I am fairly certain he needed to know how to make to graduate. 

Him: "What's in Bordelaise?"
Me: "Off the top of my head?"
Him: "Yeah"
Me: "I don't have a f**king clue"
Him to another guy on the line: "Hey Travis what's in Bordelaise?"
Travis: "Demi-glace, shallots, red wine and marrow."
Him: "What's Demi-glace?"



Travis knows his stuff. He went to C.H.I.C. but we wont hold that against him. :lol:

"Otis Spunkmeyer" is a grocery store chain brand cookie manufacturer


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Absentee owner: Comes in once a month for dinner, usually with an entourage. Everyone hustles to kiss butt. Has dinner, walks in the kitchen, makes some comments about how to do things better which pisses off the sous chef, then leaves.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

I must be suffering from a bad brain-fart, because the only compound sauces I could come up with from memory after reading this was Perigeaux (demiglace and truffles... two great tastes that taste great together) and Diable (shallots, white wine, demi, and as much cayenne pepper as you can take). And this is with 30 years in the biz, including a turn at Vicky and Al's.

Heck, I have a kid on staff kid specifically to make Hollandaise for me because I'm horrible at it.

*The Fad Zombie*: Rewrites the menu to follow whatever the hot new food fad is, regardless of whether its appropriate for the restaurant or not. One month you're tapas, the next you're sandwiches, the month after that you're a pasta bar...


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Jack,
You sure you took the right turn at Vicky and Als?

How bout that *Notice Giver* Spouts about giving notice at least once a day.

Y'all a little old for the *European Critic* Everything that is not from His or Her country is XXXXX But won't go home.

how bout *Pepe Le Pew* Starts developing a horrible mimicing accent after working under a foriegn chef


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

How about *The Institution* the person who has been there so long they built the place around them. Sometimes these people are cool sometimes they can be a major pain....
And then there is *The Dreamer* the person who can't seem to break out of mediocrity while constantly telling you how much better their food will be *when they open their own place!*


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## sucrechef (Sep 1, 2005)

My favorite is the ...

*Claim Jumper* -- This is the person who always tells the chef or owner or anyone else who will listen the long long long list of all the things they did that day. What they don't explain is that all the prep was done for them by someone else. Call me crazy, but I just don't believe you can claim to have made the soup when all your mis en place is ready to go into the steam kettle and was actually prepped by others.


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

There is a world of difference between forgetting after years but after only a few months?

I like "The Fad Zombie" one. I didn't realize you were in Chicago LOL

Today we are making flatbread organic pizzas but tomorrow in place of our traditional menu items we will be serving sushi. The grill will disappear and reappear in some other restaurant just like in the movie "Krull".

Here is another one.
*
"Award Junkie"* -- Turns the restaurant into tasting menu only so he can showcase his vision in an effort to score a Beard award.

*"Owner's Offspring" *-- Has no talent whatsoever and gets away with murder because he/she is the ****-spawn of the owner. This kid will burn stuff, drop stuff, scald stuff, stuff stuff, steal stuff and pretty much do whatever the heck they can to get Daddy/Mommy to fire them because they don;t want to work there any more than you want them to be there but Mom/Dad says they have to have a job and no one else is hiring.

*"Mr. Jack-of-all-Trades"* -- Has done every job ever in existence and has met several famous people in his/her travels. Also known as *"The Bull****er"

"The Max Zorin"* -- Spends far too much time betting on horse racing
(named after the James Bond villain played by Christopher Walken from "A View To a Kill")


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

*Mr. Experience:* Like "The Bull****er", he says he's done every job ever in existence and has met several famous people in his/her travels. Unlike the "The Bull****er", this person actually has done everything he's said he's done, and can back it all up.

Thanks for reminding me. One of my mentors, Chef Harold Hillard, falls neatly under the title of "Mr. Experience". Grizzled veteran of two wars who's been cooking professionally longer than I've been alive. Best damned meat-cutter I've ever met.

I've never worked in Chicago, but I have worked in Orlando. Almost as bad.


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

Your hard to please chef is what i call a fox. He will always make you work harder, but will find an undirect way to tell you.


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

here is another way of seing cooks or employee...

I put them in two catégories: *active* and *not-Active*.

In the *Active* side you have The Pro-Active (who is independent and as a critical way of thingking). He is a leader, he will want resonsability, will do is best every time, will be willing to support is superior and the enteprise he works for, he will find solution to problems, he will be ahead in is work, will try to find solutions before the problem arrives. he will deploy a lot of energy in his work.

Also on the *Active* side you have The good soldier ( who his dependant and has a non-critical way of thingking). He is the perfect follower, he will do what is expected of him, he will not say no to the request of his superior (as long as the request are respectfull of his hability). He will deploy a lot of energy in his work.

On the *not-active* side you have the Passive (who his dependant and has a non-critical way of thingking). This employe does not move, his always late in his work, he is lazy, his work will not be done in the correct way, disciplinary mesures does not work with him.

On the *Not active *side you also have the Alienated employee. (who is independent and as a critical way of thingking)This employee does everything wrong and he does it on purpose, he will lie, sabotage, spread rumors... you name it and he does it.

In the middle of all these types you have the Pragmatic survivor. the Pragmatic survivor adopt all four of the different personnality at different time. His name says it all, he is a survivor, he will work for a long time in an enterprise and survive the lay offs, deadly conflits, clan wars...and keep is job.

I hope you cooks and chef enjoyed reading me.

If you have any questions, let me know.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Yeah... but that sort of misses the humorous nature of the thread and tries to turn it into a serious discussion, don't you think?

*The Walk-On:* This person started out as part of the dish crew, worked their way up the ladder, and is now a reliable member of the line. Usually knows more about cooking and the way the kitchen works than anyone hired directly as a line cook.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Mredikop,
The Max Zorin" -
In the early 80's I took a job in Vegas just to experience the fear and loathing.:beer:

Oh, I forgot the *UNDERSTUDY*


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

It is a school-type of way to see it. i like to use that way when it comes to talk about employees performance to my F and B an GM, it is more professionnal.

But if this tread was made to have fun I am sorry and here is some of my thoughts...

The pirate ship cook. This guy cooks for pirates.. every thing he cook his bad, his presentatation are horible, he talks like a moron, and is very dirty.

The diva: He knows it all, but have very limited experience, he gets angry and frustrated when told that what he does is wrong, his mouth keeps on going non-stop untill we accept is point, he needs to be told that he his good, that everything he does his good....

The son of the friend of the owner who wants to learn about cooking just enough to be an executive chef the year after....i had one in my kitchen once, total moron you must know why...

The seductive *****... she uses her seduction powers to get all the cooks to do her work, she use all the cook to protect her and if you get mad at her for not working right, the cooks under her seduction spell will remind you that she is a woman after all.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Let us not get anywhere near serious in this thread *THE PREACHER*:talk:


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

:lol: I know her!

"The Talking Head" -- Touts the laurels of the crew and is an inspiration to everyone because he/she is always there cheering you on. Trouble is... you have no clue what he was hired for and he never seems to do any work.

"The Fashionista" -- Wears chef clothing too expensive to be considered "working clothes" like Pima cotton jackets and such. Looks really great and dresses better than everyone in the kitchen... but has the least talent and experience. [This is so me by the way]


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Forgot to give details!


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## heavymetal chef (Jul 31, 2006)

The Bipolar- One minute this person is fine and happy and the next minute they are hateful and horrible

Dr. Negitivity- The one who is pissed at everything (i.e. ticket pops up..."Not another f**king grouper. I hate grouper. Why don't they cook it themselves?")


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## mead (Jan 24, 2007)

*The Teflon Weasel *- This one does what he wants, when he wants, doesn't care if anything actually gets done or who has to cover his assignments, arrives late and leaves early, yet inexplicably manages to escape chefly wrath day after day.


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## chefintraining (Jul 29, 2006)

Probably because he's a kiss ***


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## mead (Jan 24, 2007)

Heh, no, he's definitely not that. He knows most of the stations, though. But then so do several other "Hard Workers", so I dunno.

Actually, I think I know why he's still there, but without proof it'd just be libel. So I'll shut up now =)


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

I have one like that in my team. the reason he is still with us is because he is protected by the union and because we cant find anybody to replace him. 

did I forgot to say he his a bad cook??? Yesssssss he is!!!!


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## katiebour (Mar 14, 2007)

You get breaks and lunches!!!! I'm jealous!


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## mcb (Dec 7, 2006)

What about the 
*SGT Major. *This is the sous chef who is always on the line in the thick of it from the start to the finish. Can be a real hard *** but when it comes right down to it he really cares about his guys and just wants people to do well.

*Popa Smurf *This the head chef who always wants to be the father figure. He's always asking you into his office to "have a chat". No one respects him and I've only really known one.


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## sweet pea (Feb 5, 2007)

Laughed so hard in my life. I feel like I've worked with all of these people at some time in my career. To add:

*The Cutter* - cant peel an onion without lopping off the tip of his finger.

*The "I'll get it" guy *- he's the one who waits until your slammed with 30 tickets to start running around stocking his line.

*The Music Man *- This is the kid that comes in every day with an ungodly collection of CD's that we are all going to be forced to listen to at maximum volume at close.

Keep um comming, such a great thread!


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## techsgtdan (Feb 16, 2007)

The *Two Left Hands* - Individuals that are not good with their knife skills.

These are individuals who can't seem to dice, mince, slice or even chop with their knives. They are also accident-prone with their knives. I used to watch this individual chop really fast. I was impressed. But then, the cook loss his grip and he cut himself. Not a bad cut, but just to hear "ouch"! LOL.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

The local school in my area promises... PROMISES... to train its students how to be an executive chef or even a restaurant owner.

The fark they say... there's only one way to train to be an executive chef, and it ain't in school...


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Ah Jesus... I just got a bad flashback.

A week before last Thanksgiving, I had to instruct my local butcher on how to french a lamb rack. Talk about pathetic...

*The Idiot Savant:* This guy speaks in mumbles, never meets anyone's eyes, and doesn't seem to be able to function in the real world. He lives with his parents, is on SSI for some mental condition or other.

And then you give him access to ingredients and let him fly and suddenly he goes from being Rainman to being Georges Auguste Escoffier. When shift is over, he's suddenly Rainman again.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

My grill-man you mean. Though he's more properly:

*The Taste Tyrant:* This is the guy who constantly criticizes the customer's food choices while cooking.

Dave: "If I get another farking order for a well-done steaki, I'm committing hari-kari. How can those idiots eat shoe leather? What... they like the taste of charcoal? Hari-kari, I swear... I've got the knife right here..."

Me: "Just don't get blood on my grill, okay?"

Dave: "Fark you too, boss."


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## allanmcpherson (Apr 5, 2007)

I'll throw in:

Chicken Little:

"Get a mover on the Soup we're down to two portions and I don't want to get stuck."

"I've got no Roast Turkey on the line! get it portioned now!"

--Its 7:30 a.m. and I'm gearing up for breakfeast rush dealing with sausage and bacon. Ours is not to wonder why...

--Allan


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## girlcook (Jul 10, 2015)

The first three are like alot of Managers I know lol


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