# WTH is wong with me?



## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

This is a bit of a personal problem but I think it needs to come out. 

I've been interested in a girl at work. We've been going out as friends for almost a year now but we've been work coleagues for 2 years. I highly doubt she knows but I'm finding it difficult to come out and say something to her. Worse yet, she stated that she isn't really interested in introducing a guy into her life because it'll restrain her "free spiritness" and independance. I fully understand and have kept myself close enough to be around her but nothing more. I really don't know how to deal with this. I think about her but not to the point of being distracting or showing signs of distraction like affecting my work. 

I feel that I've kept this to myself for long enough but I still can't bring myself to tellng her, especially since her statsment. I really don't know...any thoughts?


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## markv (May 16, 2003)

"Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it could have been."

I've always followed my heart, even though it's not always the most rational course of action.

Mark


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## kerryclan (Mar 13, 2005)

...tough one! From a woman's perspective (I one), she seems quite comfortable with the relationship you have currently. She may not be attracted to you as anything more than a good friend. You could make her uncomfortable as your friend if you reveal how you feel. This could ruin what you already have. 

On the other hand, a good friendship is a great starting point for a romantic relationship. She may or may not mean what she says about independence. If she found the right guy, she might be more than willing to give some up. Also, it is quite possible to have both.

Go with you instincts, but be tactful and listen to her.


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## deltadoc (Aug 15, 2004)

I'd try organizing some sort of informal social event with a few of your other co-workers (male & female) and make sure she is invited. Maybe seeing you in a different context than the work world might show her sides of you that she will become interested in. Can't hurt, and it makes for a "safe" environment to get to know her better as compared to asking her out.

doc


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## pierre (May 11, 2005)

*Cook her a chicken!!! *
http://cheftalkcafe.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14167

other than that, i have no real advice to give on these matters of the heart. except perhaps; be careful what you wish for.


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

She has scene this side of me already, we've gone out to movies, dinners, the occasional concert, I've helped her move and settled into her new place. I feel I know her relativily well, her likes and dislikes (hates cooking, blasphame), some medical conditions (controlled asthma), I've met some of her family, life goals. We're pretty close considering we only met 2 years ago. But it certainly looks like I'll have to let this 1 slip, regardless of how I think and feel.


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## andy m. (Mar 6, 2005)

You could be putting yourself in the unenviable position of becoming unnecessary when she falls for some other guy.

If you want to escalate the relationship, talk to her about it. If you're happy with things the way they are, do nothing.

Would it be acceptable to you to continue like this forever? If not (it must be killing you that you're "just friends"), you have nothing to lose. 

Talk to her! After all, communication is the key to a successful relationship.


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## thetincook (Jun 14, 2002)

Man, I've always thought that you shouldn't "get your honey where you get your money." Guess I'm the only one.

Short of that, go with the heart. Good luck with her!


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

Thank you all for your responses. I know I need to talk to her about my feelings but I guess its my lack of confidence thats getting in the way. I'll have to deal with this, preferably sooner then later.


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