# Most ridiculous complaint that you've heard recently?



## prairiechef (May 22, 2010)

You know the ones... the "I just wanna hear myself complain so I feel important" people.

I had a guest order spaghetti last night. It's a huge seller for me... appeals to the comfort food folks. They love it.

So.. guest orders it.

Complains to the server. No... not flavour. It tasted great. Not portion size... that was fine too.

No... my spaghetti is too short. I need to modify my menus so that guests know they're getting (and I quote) "Chicken noodle soup noodles instead of spaghetti." Apparently this man was offended by a 12" noodle.

I'm guessing if I used a 24" noodle, he'd complain that his fork wasn't big enough to twirl it.


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

But if you gave them 24" noodles, you'd _*hafta *_give them a bib,or they'd get sauce splatters all down their front. Give 'em a bib, and it's too short, too long, too cheap, doesn't accentuate the female form.

Meh, I think your hair is the wrong colour./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


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## prairiechef (May 22, 2010)

Hah!! Shows what you know! I shave my head.


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

I'm not sure if she was back yesterday or today but we've had a crazy person come in.  She seems to think that the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) is trying to kill her and that there are undercover officers in every restaurant she goes to that put poison in her food and water.  So she showed up Saturday, ordered an eggs and fruit platter, the complained the fruit was not fresh. Uhm it was fresh cut that morning and not frozen or canned.  Whatever.. the servers dealt with her and then she came back Sunday.  Same deal with the RCMP blah blah... and again ate every last morsel of food on her plate and complained again.  She showed up on Monday and again at the end when she was paying her bill she complained about the food and the service.  The owner's son cashed her out and he had enough of her and said "if you hate it so much here why do you keep coming back?"  According to her it's the RCMP that's making her have bad experiences when she dines out.. hmm.. then stop dining out, silly!  She said she filed a police report against us so who knows what is up with that...


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## stl243 (Dec 16, 2010)

we often get the CPC.

the Clean Plate Complainer.   eats everything and then says it was horrible.


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## butzy (Jan 8, 2010)

Luckily we are not getting many complaints, but we had 2 at the same table the other day.

The fish curry was not curry and apparently neither was the vegetable curry.

I tasted both and they were absolutely tasty. Obviously I replaced the meals but I was pretty peeved off

They seemed to think that there is only one type of curry and that has to be made with *curry powder*. Anything else is not curry!!!!

The fish curry is one of my big sellers and is based on a coastal Kenyan recipe (and does contain turmeric, coriander, cumin, garlic and ginger), the Veg curry is a Thai curry.

By the way: I think Leeniek's will win the prize for most ridiculous complaint!


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

I had 2 orders of Blackened Redfish returned cause they were to dark and well done. People admitted to waiter they never had before.?????


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

Thanks, Butzy!  I have not encountered anyone so delusional in the past before.  Interestingly enough we have yet to be visited by Halton Region's Finest and I really am not expecting a visit unless they stop in for breakfast or lunch between calls.


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

I hate the CPC's!  I had one that was a semi regular and the cafe and honestly.. if a place is so bad why keep going back?  One day she ordered a sandiwch with a ton of unappetizing mods (well to me anyway), ate it except for a last crust and then complained when I asked her how her meal was.  Apparently it was "so spicy she could hardly eat it" and I just said that I was "sorry she did not enjoy her sandwich and while the only thing I can do now is offer her dessert on the house, next time please come to me and I will remake her lunch so it is to her liking."   She never complained about the food on her subsequent visits... just what we are doing.  Once she told me I should be wearing gloves (I wash  my hands umpteen times a day and at the cafe after every time I switched tasks.. if I made a latte, I'd wash  my hands before cooking again,  I always washed my hands after doing cash, if I took an order I'd wash my hands before starting to fill it...  you get the picture)  I informed her "that gloves are not as sanitary as people think they are as the closed environment of gloves is a breeding ground for what is naturally on our hands so in fact her food is much safer when I wash my hands before making it than it would be if I had used gloves.  Gloves give everyone a false sense of security and should be used wisely."  She never complained to me after that.  One of the owners knew her.. the one owner had a cleaning business for years and she was a client for a short time.  This lady was never happy with anything or anyone and would always berate those she deemed to be below her.


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## bazza (Apr 2, 2007)

Beat this! A few years ago a customer complained that the handles on my cutlery were too thin and uncomfortable to hold. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

I dunno about the last one... I've eaten at restaurants where the cutlery is uncomfortable and awkward to use, heck even had to use teapots and cups that simply existed to look cool but were impractical.  Strange that form triumphs over function in this case, but true.


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## quietgiroth (Apr 18, 2007)

I have to chime in on this one.  In one night I had (from 3 different tables)

My fish is too moist.

My Steak is too beefy/steaky tasting.  I know steaky isn't a word, but that's what they said.

My steak is too tender

Some night's you can't win.


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

quietgiroth said:


> I have to chime in on this one. In one night I had (from 3 different tables)
> 
> My fish is too moist.
> 
> ...


1. Why isn't this overcooked like I make at home?

2. How come this doesn't taste like cardboard , like I make at home?

3. How come I don't need a chainsaw to cut this like I do at home?

unless you have used some sort of meat tenderizer , I hope you give me a tender steak. If this was a series of complaints on Yelp about your restaurant..I would have to eat there /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## highlander01 (Apr 30, 2010)

Hah!!! I love this topic

I used to work at this place and we would have an elderly lady come in from time to time and order the french onion soup only without onion ...../img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif

figure that one out LoL


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## rocktheknife (Jan 22, 2011)

"I need this salmon more burnt"

The insult to injury was that their toast was too browned!!

I guess some people just know what they want, but if you want burnt salmon on toast with mixed greens, why not make it yourself? I'm happy to take your money, but do you really want to pay so much for that?


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## warba (Feb 28, 2010)

Had a special order for a fillet (16oz); no problem, we cut our own meat, but he wants it WELL DONE.

No problem I say, customer is always right.. but have waitress please ask if I can butterfly it - or it'll be 40+ minutes.

No bloody way he says, I can't butterfly his (basically Chateaubriand, except well done).

40 minutes later it goes out, grey throughout, but still a little moist inside.

Sends it back with "If I'd wanted raw I would have ordered it raw".

I offer to make a new one, but please allow me to butterfly it - I promise it will be tasty, nicely charred and WELL done. Nope - says to just throw it back on the "fire".

10 minutes later, out it goes.. this sad looking, charred bit of cinder... and it comes back with "if the chef can't cook a steak he shouldn't be in the kitchen".

FOH comps drinks for the table...

I'm embarrassed to say that by now I've totally lost my cool, so I throw it in the microwave (yes, really) for 3 minutes.

Then take it out and hold it over the wok burner until it's smokin. and I served it. (not proud of this.. but it was that or have an embolism).

Comment back was "that's more like it; should have come out like that in the first place".

geez.


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## chefbuba (Feb 17, 2010)

This Manhattan is too strong!........... Anyone that complains about a mixed drink being too strong needs to stick to beer or white zin.


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## warba (Feb 28, 2010)

Drinks too strong? ChefBuba.. where do you work ? I'll be right over /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

warba said:


> Drinks too strong? ChefBuba.. where do you work ? I'll be right over /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


I agree.. just where is this place???


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## chefbuba (Feb 17, 2010)

I'll never tell......


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## momandchef (Dec 15, 2010)

hey, I'll take a "too strong" Manhattan over a watery one EVERY DAY.

I had an older lady tell me yesterday that she didn't like the look of our creamers (they are just very simple white ones) and that it just totally ruined her whole experience. The little cream pitcher for her tea ruined everything for her. But of course she cleaned her plate and hung out for like 2 hours gabbing with her friend.

Saturday I had an order come in for a grilled cheese on our sourdough bread but asked if I could "not grill the bread because it is too crunchy when it is grilled". So I asked the server "She wants an un-grilled grilled cheese sandwich?" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif


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## luis j (Jan 19, 2011)

This happened to me last week:

"I want my steak well done... Very well done" Says the customer....

The customer left a comment in our comments book... "Everything was excellent... But my steak was a bit too dry" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif

Man!! What were you expecting???.../img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


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## digitalluke (Feb 9, 2011)

got to love complaints, had most of them in my time, have a few my self but more like stupid question i guess.

are the beef tomatos vegi?

is there dairy in my bread and butter pudding

my braised beef is to welldone! geez this one creeps up time to time lol

 and how can i forget why is my chilled soup(gazpacho) cold and i noted is was on the menu as chilled

got to love the kitchens!


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## chefcash (Feb 21, 2011)

my fish is too fishy

the gluten allergy... i get this one atleast once a week... most of our preped sauces have gluten products...

the shellfish allergy WHEN ITS A CRAB BASED MENU! why are you here?

ignorant customers and their idea of steak temps

"can i get my calimari with less testicles"

and my all time favorite

" i know i ordered raw oysters but i didnt know they were really raw... i though that was just the name, like raaaaw oysters"


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

A customer orders Creme' Brulee  sends it back because there is no cream.????????

Orders Beef Strogonoff sends it back because she does not like mushrooms????

Sends back French Onion Soup served in crock  Why?  She is alergic to cheese?????

He didn't like the soup ,and the last time did not like the pizza??? We have never served or sold Pizza????

O N L Y         I N        A M E R I C A


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

ChefCash said:


> and my all time favorite
> 
> " i know i ordered raw oysters but i didnt know they were really raw... i though that was just the name, like raaaaw oysters"


Chef that may be your all time favorite, but I really think you should reconsider ""can i get my calimari with less testicles"

_I don't care who you are, that right there is funny..... /img/vbsmilies/smilies/thumb.gif_


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

ChefCash said:


> .....
> the shellfish allergy WHEN ITS A CRAB BASED MENU! why are you here?....


you got anything without so much Crab in it?

Well, we got the Crab, Eggs and Crab, that's doesn't got so much Crab in it./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

customer.

Hello,

 I made a special trip to return these.  I just thought you would want to know. I brought home some of those briskity cookies and my family said  they were stale.

Your things are always so good.

  I told her I knew who made the biscotti and I was going to let her go in the morning.


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## sparkie (Feb 12, 2011)

Last night, customer complains that the pasta was cold but the sauce was hot.

Another time I made babyback ribs for a member's banquet. After the function a guy pulls me aside and says:

"Don't lie to me. Did you boil those ribs?"

No I did not. They were started on the grill & then slow roasted for about 3 1/2 hours.

"I'm not stupid you know. Did you see how easily the meat came off the bone? The ribs shouldn't be like that. If you cook them the right way you need to bite into it & pull the meat away from the bones."

Sometimes you just can't win.


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## transchef (Feb 25, 2011)

"Last night, customer complains that the pasta was cold but the sauce was hot."

I would complain too if the pasta was cold and precooked and served with hot sauce on top. I don't know if the Italian chef instructor was BSing us when she said that pasta should be from boiling water directly to the pan of sauce to finish cooking without flame and that the pasta should not be washed or totally drained and should still carry some hot water where it is boiled that should also taste like ocean. I tried. It worked. No salting needed.


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## sparkie (Feb 12, 2011)

Unfortunately we do pre-cook pasta for a la carte service. In this case It was a party of 30 with family style pasta course. We boiled the penne fresh for the party. The complaint came from one person only.


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## deepakp (Mar 1, 2011)

so plz ready to shave your head.........


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

I loved the comment about the ribs. Food is so subjective and everybody thinks their way IS the only way.


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## cookitup (Sep 12, 2007)

Check this out for hilarity.. Now thats a fussy customer!






What would you do?


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## beerconsomme (Mar 5, 2011)

Had a guy order a steak medium. He also went through the trouble to define medium to the kitchen, as it stated on the ticket. "Medium, pink throughout, no red, not dry." Regardless, I cooked him a flawless, perfectly pink steak. Sends it back because it's still red. Cook it off more.  It comes back. Repeat two more times. Apparently, despite him having a perfect understanding of what "medium" means, he actually wanted a well done steak.

Can't please all the people all the time.


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## momandchef (Dec 15, 2010)

ChefCash said:


> "can i get my calimari with less testicles"


I want that on a t-shirt. Too Funny!!


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

Bah .. had  stupid one today.. customer asked for a panini with blueberries instead of ham.. then sent it back because there were " mouldy stains on the eggs"... hmm those stains were the blasted blueberries and their juice for crying out loud... I suspect the meal was comped as the customer was sure it was mould...


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## skagitchef (Jan 3, 2011)

Damn that's funny!  Less testicles in my calamari!   Hahahaha!


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## pcieluck (Dec 9, 2010)

Steak request extra extra well is too tough...


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## chefmiller (Feb 21, 2011)

Wow haha. Diners can be so...uncivilised. My recent best was a diner ordering a steak "very rare," them sending it back because "it was not cooked enough."


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)




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## pcieluck (Dec 9, 2010)

pretty convinced that 90% of the meat eating population has no grasp on what medium is. I've gone to far too many restaurants asking for a medium burger, steak, or salon to have it brought out ot me with little to ZERO color left, and I get perfect mediums sent back to me at least a few times a week.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

"The parsley butter potatoes are bland."  Huh? Let's see.... boiled red potatoes with parsley and butter.... Look to you left. On your table you will observe two small glass containers that contain salt and pepper. Help yourself. It's just a matter of time before I hear  "Excuse me, this baked potato is bland." I could start a big rant here about people who think everything has to be doused with hot sauce, rolled in rock salt and dipped in ranch dressing before they can taste it. I swear you could do that to a dog turd and they'd rave about how great it is.  "Can I get my Canadian walleye blackened?" I could cry sometimes.


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## eloki (Apr 3, 2006)

Once on a busy sunday breakfast, we had a customer ask for "bacon cooked until it's charred" (that was her own words").  She sent it back saying it was inedible.


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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

greyeaglem said:


> "The parsley butter potatoes are bland." Huh? Let's see.... boiled red potatoes with parsley and butter.... Look to you left. On your table you will observe two small glass containers that contain salt and pepper. Help yourself. It's just a matter of time before I hear "Excuse me, this baked potato is bland." I could start a big rant here about people who think everything has to be doused with hot sauce, rolled in rock salt and dipped in ranch dressing before they can taste it. I swear you could do that to a dog turd and they'd rave about how great it is. "Can I get my Canadian walleye blackened?" I could cry sometimes.


I think people are so used to the tons of salt, fat, sugar & msg in processed foods that they've forgotten the taste of real food.


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## chef silver (Mar 25, 2011)

In our grill bar was a fun event. Our menu is beef tongue fried on the grill. Guestrequested language from the bloody roasting. We first thought it was a joke, but he wasreally serious Write a review of the complaint book. And he was absolutely still the language of re hot boiled for about three hours ))))


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Ask the Chef "" What kind of sherry does  he use in the Seafood Newburg????""                I would have told them the cheapest I could find .but I told the  waiter to tell them it was a Spanish Amontillado..


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## dmcropper (Mar 30, 2011)

i had some really stupid complaints in the last few week

someone orders the parsnip gnocci with ox tail sauce, then complained that it didnt say on the board that there was meat in the sauce. 

an other

a guy orders the pork belly with black pudding, chorizo and mash then sends it back saying it wasnt what he was expecting


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## aleksandar (Jan 14, 2013)

Beef carpaccio is raw


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## gopostal (Aug 2, 2013)

From the Front manager "my mashed potatoes are to hot and they burned the roof of my mouth"


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

From a co worker when I was pulled from my dept to help the shipper catch up....this is BS did you tell boss how much work we have to do? .... 
(At the time we had to slice two cases of peppers....maybe an hour of work tops... Open three cases of mozzarella... Five minutes of work.. And one case of mozzarella.... Again maybe six minutes of work with that.)
I said yes I did and there were three of us so we could easily spare one for such little work to do. 
Her words... This is bullshit we have our own work to do and we do not need to do their work too they are lazy... I said sorry talk to the boss... 
Then she goes,,, I am almost fifty and I have high Bp so I will not do anything heavy....
At that point I left because I would have ripped her a new a$$ hole.... I am older than her and I have fibroyalgia, endo,arthritis and high BP so she can go suck an egg, 
Sooo...when did age come into doing your effing job??? 
Sorry For the rant...


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## berndy (Sep 18, 2010)

I mentioned this one before. When I had my German restaurant I had customers order our best seller "Sauerbraten" and after they finished everything on the platter they complained that the meat was spoiled to the point that had a sour taste and I should stop serving it /img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gif


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## linecook854 (Feb 13, 2013)

80% of the general population has no clue as to meat temperatures. My general manager still thinks a medium-well burger with a small band of pink is medium rare and trains FOH to tell customers that medium has very little pink throughout. My dishwasher wants a "medium well done burger with pink in the middle but no blood or fat" and my servers are horrified to see a red steak when ordered medium rare ('that's NOT cooked!"). FML.

All time favorite meat temperature complaint from a customer is a guy who wanted a beautiful rack of lamb cooked to medium, no problem I thought. Cooked to damn near perfect medium, fully rested and the temperature gradient is almost perfectly pink throughout. Sends it back claiming its raw. OK I say, he doesn't know meat temperatures he really wants it to about medium-well plus. Send it back to the table at medium-well. Comes back saying it's brown. I tell server to ask what color he wants the lamb, server comes back saying he usually gets it blackened at so and so's restaurant so he wants it black on the outside, red on the inside but brown in the middle. I went to the table told him I can't perform miracles and served him a well done burger. Said it was the most perfect cooked burger he's ever had.


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## texaschef 74 (Jan 21, 2011)

Heard this from the bar tender

"I'd like a wine that doesn't taste like wine."/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif

SMH


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## sealychef (Aug 1, 2013)

guy brings back a $2.50 sandwich, cussing and all. just wants 2 pieces of beetroot leaves from my mesculin mix.

 " here you go sir enjoy your sandwich"


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## suki1964 (Jul 16, 2013)

Today's complaint near killed me

The special today was supreme of chicken served on creamy garlic new pots and braised red cabbage. Order came through for it but no cabbage and bacon and cheese mash instead of the new pots ???

Then complained they were sent a plate of chicken and potatoes !!!!


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## soesje (Dec 6, 2012)

Too nice to just come out of service, with a cold lemon wodka and enjoy the stories .... /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Ohh , so this week our house special was filet minon , with parsnip puree , and sautéed veggies with a hint of honey , and a homeade demi ( its pretty good if i do say so myself , BUT I HATE MAKING IT )....

So one of our clients is in love with our head chef and decides to order it , to you know kiss my chefs a** , he obviously didnt know i was the one making it. When he finds out im making the damn plate he decides not to eat it.... -_-

Today i made the same plate for 2 customers.... THEY WERE IDENTICAL... one client eats the whole thing , the other only eats the meat and leaves all the puree and veggies on her plate , then i have to deal with the waiter telling me she would have prefered rice of puree and some other veggies aside from carrots , zuchini , and green beans.... well why did she order it then if it was explained on the menu what the dish was composed of -_-


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## skipstrr (Jun 8, 2013)

foodpump said:


> But if you gave them 24" noodles, you'd _*hafta *_give them a bib,or they'd get sauce splatters all down their front. Give 'em a bib, and it's too short, too long, too cheap, doesn't accentuate the female form.
> 
> Meh, I think your hair is the wrong colour./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


yea right????


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## skipstrr (Jun 8, 2013)

butzy said:


> Luckily we are not getting many complaints, but we had 2 at the same table the other day.
> 
> The fish curry was not curry and apparently neither was the vegetable curry.
> 
> ...


agreed!!!! but still funny with the curry...just goes to show....fake foodies are all over & have the worst pallet!


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## skipstrr (Jun 8, 2013)

Gunnar said:


> you got anything without so much Crab in it?
> 
> Well, we got the Crab, Eggs and Crab, that's doesn't got so much Crab in it./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif





butzy said:


> Luckily we are not getting many complaints, but we had 2 at the same table the other day.
> 
> The fish curry was not curry and apparently neither was the vegetable curry.
> 
> ...


agreed!!!! but still funny with the curry...just goes to show....fake foodies are all over & have the worst pallet!


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## powerviolence (May 19, 2012)

I used to work at this quaint cuban cafe. It was a small mom and pop place so from the kitchen window you could see the whole dining room and even hear the servers interacting with customers. 

I heard this woman ask for Roasted Pork, "I don't want any of the Plantations" 

Not really a complaint but... yeah know. 

At my current job on our lunch menu we have a simple pasta dish. Grape tomato and broccoli sauteed in olive oil with some linguine. Pretty basic. 

She asked if we could make it without oil and/or butter and no tomato... 

Sent it back because it was "Dry and boring" Hmm Then ordered a Reuben with no Meat extra kraut. 

Also the same lady who used to come in order Grouper from the lunch menu, ate it every time, and always complained. And even got into an argument with the Executive Chef about how it was not even grouper once. She comes 3x a week and is a vegetarian!


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## messyj25 (Aug 13, 2013)

Not a complaint but my favorite ticket a server ever sent me was for a burger cooked half rare and half well done... I thought it was a joke, but nope...


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## flipflopgirl (Jun 27, 2012)

@ PV..... sounds like a chronic dieter/bulimic  (does this brownie make me look fat?) Check her fingernails....if they look ragged (stomach acid does a number on the nails and teeth) then she is looking for something that doesn't burn when it comes back up.

Don't be surprised if she is a bit chubby in appearence just her metabolisam slowing down to prevent starvation.

mimi


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

MessyJ25, I'm assuming two people were splitting that burger (otherwise you might be dealing with a split personality!) I had a friend of mine come in where I was working and as a joke ordered a burger  well done on the inside and rare on the outside. I did it. I took two hamburger patties and cooked them both on one side. Pulled off the grill, stacked together with cooked sides in and pressed the edges together. Then I grilled lightly on both sides. Should have seen the look on his face when he got it.


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## travlemagne (Aug 21, 2013)

Not a complaint but one of the funniest requests I have ever heard:

Customer to server:

"Hmmm, I'm thinking about the pork medallions, but I'm Jewish and eating kosher. So let the chef know I need it well done."

I complemented the server on keeping a straight face throughout and turned those otherwise juicy medallions into a trio of sad hockey pucks. The table came up after dinner and told me how wonderful everything was and the woman added a special thank you for attending to her dietary restrictions per her religion. Now, I am not a religious man, but, I am under the impression that whether the pig arrives at the table pink, cute, and wearing a Babe in the City necklace or as a near pile of funerary ashes it is not a kosher meal permissible to consume. But these are the things we do to keep the tables full /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Oh last week a women order filet mignon , but she wanted it rare ( but not pink in the middle ) <_< 

It was bordering well done , and she was happy XD


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## greg reynolds (Aug 22, 2013)

How about a "pink" but well done Ribeye?


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## beastmasterflex (Aug 14, 2013)

Vegetarian order corned beef hash... ate part of it then asked the server if there was beef in it...


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## fbindustry (Nov 16, 2013)

We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year.  Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.


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## powerviolence (May 19, 2012)

Rare Ribeye. SEnt back because it was underdone. Uh bone in rare? pfft

A lady complained that the soup was to hot, and we must have microwaved it. Of course we don't have any microwaves. Temped it, @169 my favorite  soup holding temp.


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## alaminute (Aug 22, 2013)

Foie gras seemed "fatty". Weve been getting a lot of steaks ordered mr plus or medium plus. I usually have to pull out my magic wand to achieve these imagenary temps.


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## rat (Mar 2, 2006)

Im allergic to chocolate ice cream, can I get vanilla instead with chocolate sauce on top?


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## soesje (Dec 6, 2012)

fbindustry said:


> We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year. Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.


 That was downright RUDE.....come on....no loss on that customer then


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## flipflopgirl (Jun 27, 2012)

fbindustry said:


> We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year. Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.


Golden opportunity to cater a small party!

m.


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## cowboy (Oct 1, 2013)

I had a customer tell me a perfect slice of medium rare prime rib didnt taste like beef...how does one achieve that!!!


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year. Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.

Perfect opportunity to put yourself out of business catering to idiots on the busiest night of the year.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)




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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

fbindustry said:


> We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year. Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.


I had guests do this to me in the middle of New Years Eve dinner service with no advance notice. I usually had 3 or 4 vegetarian options on my weekly changing menu, with 1 being vegan, so I guess they figured it wouldn't be a big deal. That and I was known for creating dishes on the spur of the moment all the time at customers requests. It wasn't a big deal, because I didn't let it be one. Flying by the seat of my pants is my favorite way to travel. Yeehaw!!!


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

fbindustry said:


> We recently got blasted in an email that we would/could not create a five course personalized vegetarian menu for New Year's Eve this year. Mind you, there is a vegetarian course offered for each of our five courses on our NYE menu......they wanted to essentially create THEIR OWN five course menu for their four person party and could not comprehend why we wouldn't let them do so.....they then went on and ranted that they hope we go out of business.





cheflayne said:


> Flying by the seat of my pants is my favorite way to travel. Yeehaw!!!


Oddly enough i too , am starting to enjoy this.

Deal with these sorta things like the duck games at carnavals.... shoot those ducks quickly to get a prize  ( the prize in this case is the kudoos )/img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gif


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

OK. So I'm waiting in line at _Micky D's_ for my _"Free Black-Friday Coffee"_, and a couple next to me orders, along with everything, else _"2 lg fries ... w/ NO salt"._ Now this bird who orders is looking right at the fry-guy dump out 4 baskets of fries as she orders. Unfortunately for him, he was salting them as she was ordering. _Anyway ..._ they get their order and sit at the table in front of me. I watch them sit and immediately salt their fries. I had to ask ... _"What the hey lady ... you ordered "unsalted fries" ... what's the point?"._ Her answer was ... _"We like our fries "fresh" ... not the ones that have been sitting around."._ It was 12:30 afternoon, everything was hot and fresh ... it was a high-volume _McD's_. I wanted to choke this goofy chick.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Going back from a long time ago  Many places selling Veal Cutlet breaded actually use boneless pork loin.


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## raibeaux (Dec 21, 2012)

Well, this is different!  Last night I had a elderly customer that coughed a couple of times while at the table.  Not a protracted event, mind you.

Later, two customers at an adjoining table went to the register to pay.  They complained on and on about how disgusting it was to have to hear the man coughing.  They said we should have asked the man to leave the restaurant.  They then started complaining about the prices of the food they had just eaten.  We showed them the register ticket and they said it didn't make any difference, that they should not have to pay that much.  This went on for several minutes.  They did end up paying for the meal.

When I was growing up, I worked with my father at the funeral home, and on the ambulance from about age 14.  We had both the funeral services and we also ran ambulance service, which most funeral homes did back in the day.

Occasionally, a couple or three times a year or so, we would get a call that turned out to be really, really, bad.  I'm talking really bad here, as in people in burned out vehicles, people that had passed away weeks ago and just now found, and eighteen-wheelers-on-top-of-Volkswagon head-on wrecks and such.

We all agreed that if these types of things happened more often we'd be doing something else for a living.

Once or twice a year at our restaurant, we have one of these type deals where customers just get ridiculous.  When it happens I can't help but think about our thoughts from my funeral/ambulance days.


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## gregor (May 12, 2013)

Had a customer the other night complain there was a bone in his T-bone steak, I went out and spoke to him, he said it was too boney! Replaced the perfectly cooked tbone with an eye fillet


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## m16hef (Nov 3, 2013)

I've read these posts with interest, I dont know where to start.

I once had a lady who said "Can I have the Plaice, but if it tastes like fish you can have it back"

Another complained the "Chilled Melon with 2 Sorbets" was too cold.

I generally deal with all the customer complaints myself, we have been running our restaurant for 17 years and are continually busy without advertising, our customers either come back time and time again or come on recommendation, we don't get many complaints but:

the "Alans Spicy, Mexican Style Chilli Con Carne with Jalopenos" is too hot, so I asked which bit she didn't understand.

We do Roast Topside of beef and cook it slightly pink in the middle, when you put it on a hot plate the red juices float on the top, sometimes it comes back with a request for a more cooked slice, so I dab it with kitchen roll, it goes out again and compliments follow!

We were asked once if our fresh Cod was local (we live 128 miles from any coast in the UK) Yes the Canal, I reply.

I'd like the Apple pie, but I don't want any fruit in it!

I took Irish Coffees off our Coffee menu because they are a pain in the [email protected]** but still we get asked, a lady ordered one from me a few weeks ago and insisted NO SUGAR, we all know how hard that is, but I did a perfect, hot, Irish coffee with cream floating on the top, I presented it to her, all smiles, and she said "can I have a spoon" so I said "No madam, I've just spent the best part of ten minutes preparing a perfect Irish Coffee for you, even though they are not on our menu, I have floated the cream perfectly on the top, so if you think you are stirring it in, then you have another thing coming, enjoy your coffee" 

A lady used to come in and ask for the minestroni soup, but could we sieve it as she only liked the juice!

2 people on one table ordered the Lamb Tagine, one lady said it was tasteless and horrible, I turned to the other lady and asked her how hers was, she said hers was delicious, strange as they were both cooked together in the same pan!

I find some customers are rude to staff, so with the tip off, I generally help the staff to serve their table, strange how they are never rude to me.

Sometimes you can`t win, I will always remember Keith Floyd one of the UK`s first celebrity chef, he had a letter of complaint from a customer, he wrote a reply which went something like: I am so sorry to hear you di not like your visit to Floyds Inn and Restaurant, as you can appreciate we are miles from anywhere and getting staff is quite a problem for us, sometimes my staff have to do double shifts and are irritable, tired and generally fed up of biting their tongue, sometimes some of our customers are rude, obnoxious, curt, and over demanding. How sorry I am to hear you both coincided upon the same evening.


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## flipflopgirl (Jun 27, 2012)

About a year ago the hubs and myself found ourselves in NOLA on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with plans to sail the next day.

Stayed close to ***** place around the corner from the **** museum.

Walked the few blocks with a spring in my step as I had heard great things about the upscale casual sandwich menu.

Stood in the doorway for 10 min while the hostess kept walking by and holding up her "one minute" finger.

One of the bartenders was evidently fed up as only half the tables were occupied...so grabbed a couple of menus, grabbed a waiter and with his hand on the guy's arm lead him to us.

Drinks?

Yes thank you....

Here he comes with ice water and our place settings.

I went to the ladies room and when I returned to the table STILL no service.

One hour and fifteen minutes was enough.

Walked to another place and had a lovely meal.

Home from the cruise I wrote a lovely letter (in ink on stationary) about the encounter that did not meet our expectations.

Email back from a lovely lady in ***** employ and a few weeks later an email from some guy named **** something or other (ID'd himself as the GM at the *** place).

All flowery, full of excuses...please let him know when we would be back in the area and he would more that make up for it.

Full on BS.

Have had several emails from **** since then so I let him know we would be passing thru the area during this holiday season and would love to reserve a Papa Noel tasting.

That was 6 weeks ago......

Is **** getting bigger that his britches or is **** being secretive about his lack of FOH skills and overstepped what he had authority over as an I am sorry let me fix this and we can be friends now do over?

mimi

edited due to borderline snarky language out of line in this season of love and peace


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## ilprochef (Dec 9, 2013)

Customers getting chapped because their pot roast can't be prepared medium rare.


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## dmcropper (Mar 30, 2011)

A new one for me not a complaint but a request. Black and blue steaks ok so you want it well done on the out side but warm and raw inside always end end up in a complaint as it's impossible to cook a steak like that with extra crispy chips ( fries) that are too crunchy. ******* I don't need your custom


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Just one question?
Which one was impossible the steak or the fries


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## youngchefkarl (Dec 12, 2013)

A year back or so a gentleman had a private buffet party for like 20-30 people with prime rib, etc, and then complained on yelp and google that he shouldnt have paid a gratuity and that he hates mandatory ones, even though it was obviously discussed before hand. Another yelper complained about her wiener schnitzel and said that it should of came with a mushroom gravy when right next to the dish on the menu it said "add mushroom gravy for ..." i forget the price, like 2 bucks. i dont know what goes through peoples minds sometimes.


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## soesje (Dec 6, 2012)

I have to smile often when reading this thread.

We can of course all share our frustrations here, but if we did not want it for the passion of our jobs, what then are we doing in those kitchens except trying to make our customers happy.

We never can make them ALL happy, thats a fact of life, like, not ALL people are nice.

But there are enough nice people!  

Go cook  with all the passion you have.


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## littlea (Dec 13, 2013)

Always a great topic, we did a play tasting menu on edible cocktails last week. This woman brings in her 5 year old son (to a fine dining restaurant), orders the edible cocktail tasting menu for them both to share. Sends back just about every plate, saying it's too strong for a young boy. The servers warned her COUNTLESS times all our dishes contained liquor.

Not so much a complaint but an annoyance, every day we offer a different 6 course tasting menu alongside a seasonal changing ala carte menu. @#%*& gluten free vegans ALWAYS want our tasting menu. So difficult trying to tie in every dish with such little option. We pretty much send out whatever we manage to ransack out of our fridges!


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## cronker (Mar 3, 2016)

Our kitchen is all day dining, 11am-9pm. Long day for chef, obviously they start about 9am and when 9pm comes, they are DONE and outta there pretty quickly.
Well-to-do older couple come into the bar about 10 minutes to midnight and order their drinks, and the lady the requests to see the menu.
Spidey-senses tingling, I say:
"Certainly, but unfortunately our kitchen is closed."
She looks at me like I had just killed her cat.
"But we've been at the opera since 6, and we haven't eaten and we're starving!"
"I'm sorry to hear that, but our kitchen closes at 9pm. We have some beer nuts or potato chips..."
(Much disgruntlement) "no. Now surely there's still a chef out the back in the kitchen. I'm sure he wouldn't mind whipping something up for us?"
(You obviously don't know chefs, lady)
Firmly, I reply, "The kitchen has been closed for 3 hours, ma'am, I doubt the chef is still around."
More harrumphing. "Well, I never! Why does your sign say all day dining? This is false advertising. I'm going to report you to the council!"
I'd had enough by now.
"indeed our sign does promote all day dining, ma'am, however it is now THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! We obviously cannot provide a service to your satisfaction, therefore please finish your drinks and feel free to visit the 24 hour McDonalds down the road. Goodnight!"


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## m16hef (Nov 3, 2013)

Does anyone have funny Trip Advisor reviews, we get lots 99% of which are really good, my partner and I run a very good small English Pub Restaurant and have some fantastic staff all of which know just how to treat customers and make sure they enjoy their stay with us, However, we had a really bad review posted one day, on Valentines day we had a table of 2 cancel and a few minutes the phone rings and a chap wanted a table for 2 at 7.30, we booked him in, in the name of Elvis, well at 9pm Elvis still hadn't arrived, we did all the jokes about him leaving the building etc. and after a very busy day we shut down. The following morning there was a review on Trip Advisor from someone called Elvis329 slating us, our smoked salmon starter was crap, the main course was awful and the desert of Fruits of the forest cheesecake was disgusting! We don`t have any of the mentioned items on our menu????? It turned out, he booked it, the wife knew the way and drove to a different venue and they endured a crap meal so they dismembered our reputation on Trip Advisor, I immediately contacted Trip Advisor and told them and asked for it to be removed, they have to follow it up and contact the contributor first, but it did come down. We contacted Elvis through the site and he telephoned and apologised for his mistake (though totally blamed the wife!) My parted offered his a discount to come and try us for real, he took us up on the offer and came, along with his wife and had a 3 course meal, they chose very well and we were able to show off our food and skills, he came to pay the bill, said everything was wonderful "No wonder you get such great reviews on trip advisor" he went on his way, almost 3 weeks has passed and not a word on said review site! So quick to slag us off but put something nice! Still waiting!


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## jakeholyhead (Mar 30, 2016)

My béarnaise sauce is cold and tastes of butter. Then the waitress says, can't you just hear it up in the microwave.


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Got one this week....

Caprese Salad, no mozzarella instead sub the cheese for fried chicken...../img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


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## mulehead1990 (Apr 8, 2016)

tonight i had trial customers come in for free meals most were friends and family of servers had the last shrimp sent back from a scampi half eaten jeep in mind they ate the other 9 which they loved but the last one had too much butter on it and they wanted a recook


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## berndy (Sep 18, 2010)

This ham and cheese omelet tastes like egg : if I  wanted eggs I would have ordered eggs .


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## flipflopgirl (Jun 27, 2012)

berndy said:


> This ham and cheese omelet tastes like egg : if I wanted eggs I would have ordered eggs .


/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif

mimi


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## laurenlulu (Sep 9, 2012)

The chicken noodle soup has vegetables in it! -mirepoix- Chicken Noodle is supposed to be as it says, chicken and noodles!


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

That would be every chef's dream. The busiest night of the year and you have a table full of fussy vegetarians wanting you to create a special menu just for them. Just boot them. You can fill the table with people who will be a lot less trouble.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

greyeaglem said:


> "The parsley butter potatoes are bland." Huh? Let's see.... boiled red potatoes with parsley and butter.... Look to you left. On your table you will observe two small glass containers that contain salt and pepper. Help yourself. It's just a matter of time before I hear "Excuse me, this baked potato is bland." I could start a big rant here about people who think everything has to be doused with hot sauce, rolled in rock salt and dipped in ranch dressing before they can taste it. I swear you could do that to a dog turd and they'd rave about how great it is. "Can I get my Canadian walleye blackened?" I could cry sometimes.


It happened about 6 months after I wrote this. Someone wrote a comment that our baked potatoes were bland. They suggested we use olive oil and sea salt when baking. We do use oil and bake in a 450 deg. oven. We used to do the salt, but people complained, so we stopped doing it. The commenter picked apart everything except the desserts. He recommended we give the pastry chef a raise. I'll let Chef Pierre and Sara Lee know.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

flipflopgirl said:


> Golden opportunity to cater a small party!
> 
> m.


That would be every chef's dream. The busiest night of the year and you have a table full of fussy vegetarians wanting you to create a special menu just for them. Just boot them. You can fill the table with people who will be a lot less trouble.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

I think it's funny when mediocre amateur cooks complain about vegetarian diners.

_We work in kitchens ... It ain'te rocket surgery._​


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

Bazza said:


> Beat this! A few years ago a customer complained that the handles on my cutlery were too thin and uncomfortable to hold. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif


While I would never say anything to the owner, I kind of get that. Silverware that's too thin or thick can be awkward to handle. I also don't like the cheap Windsor silverware a lot of places have. I once saw some really nice looking silverware I was going to buy for home, until I picked it up. It was really uncomfortable to hold. It's like knife handles. Certain styles suit different people.


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

When the complaints are more pretentious then justified, all you can do is smile and shake your head.


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## brianshaw (Dec 18, 2010)

Chefross said:


> ... more pretentious then justified, all you can do is smile and shake your head.


Ya... I've felt that way... on both sides of the fence!


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