# what is the worst thing a server can do to make you mad?



## bundens (Jul 5, 2008)

just thought I'd share my pet peeves that will net a bad tip or a sour taste in my mouth...

1. Asking me how my food is more than once
2. Asking me how my food is while it's quite obviously in my mouth and I can't answer
3. Not refilling my drink 
and 4. when more than one server or food runner takes care of my table so I ultimately don't know who to tip when leaving.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

#2 - I swear, sometimes they're just standing in a corner and waiting til I have that forkful in my mouth, then run over to ask how everything is!!!


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

Pulling up a chair and taking my order, like i'm buying a used car.


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## ed buchanan (May 29, 2006)

Walking around useing cellphone.
Avoiding eye contact
Asking me 5 times ''Everything ok here""if it wasn't I would call you!
When you pay check asking "do you want change"?
Always having to ask for ketchup, A1 or steak sauce, syrup for pancakes ,all the condiments that should go with things, and then having to wait while food gets cold,to get them.
Taking plate away before I am done.
Not refilling h20 glasses .:beer:


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## chefelle (Feb 17, 2007)

I once gave a server $60 for a $42 dollar restaurant bill because that was all I had on me and she kept the change! That aggravated me...if I was a server I would bring the bill and the change back in that little leather pouch thing and leave it on the table discreetly and give the GUEST the option of leaving me the change as a tip.

Even worse I actually WORKED at this restaurat....nothing like a co-worker stealing your hard earned money from you.....


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## elchivito (Jan 25, 2009)

Ditto what everyone else has said, and add:

Failure to disclose the price of verbally described specials. Spare me the phony snob appeal, how much is it? 
poorly timed courses. If I want my salad with my dinner I'll let you know. 
rushing the check and just as bad, disappearing when I want my check.

I know this is house related and the server can't do anything about it, but I absolutely DETEST having someone put pepper on my salad with one of those ridiculous 3 foot long grinders. It's pepper for god's sake, not gold. I hated doing this 100 years ago when I was a waiter. Nothing made me feel more foolish. Put little grinders on every table and I'll eat with you forever.


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Can't understand why you let her keep ur money???

Never met a waiter/waitress i didnt get on with. Truly. Guess i'm just lucky. Only time i worried was EVERY TIME We've been at Bubba gumps and dreaded the "How well do you know the movie quiz" Quiz. I loved the movie, but deny all knowledge when asked


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

What really, really aggravates me the MOST is when a waiter brings the hot food and then starts talking to us while the food on our plates go cold. _"Are you guys French? _(both me and my wife have a pretty thick French accent) _Oh sooo exciiiting! I learned French when I was in high school.. but now I forgot everything.. so are you guys visiting? No? You live heeeeere? Great! So what do you do? Computer programming? Greaaaaat! I knew a guy who's cousin was selling computers. His name was Derreck. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaah."
_
What are we supposed to do? Eat while she talks? Or wait and eat our food cold? 

Worse: the other day at a nicer restaurant, the sommelier started talking to my wife and I in French - problem was, we were with two other friends who don't speak a word of French. And THEY were inviting us. I was so embarassed... every 5mn the sommelier would come back and explain to us, in French, which wine was what and why it was paired with certain food or whatnot. At the end I was kinda ignoring the poor guy to give him a clue, but he was just standing there while we were eating, it was just silly. The worse part is that the guy was extremely knowledgeable, and at another time I would probably have PAID for him to give me a lesson on food/wine pairing. But not when I'm having dinner with my friends!


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

French Fries - what an awkward situation with the sommelier.

Guess I would have replied in English and ignored the french portion of the conversation. Or said in french to him, as the others wouldn't have understood, "An Anglais, s'il vous plais" (sp?). The guy was showing off I'm sure, and had you been just there as a couple, as you say, it would have been good.


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## c0ok (Aug 3, 2009)

Huge serrated steak knives.....
Being treated like I'm cheap and won't tip well because I'm 19. Just because I'm a kid does not mean I'm an idiot. I always tip very well.


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## allanmcpherson (Apr 5, 2007)

The worst --hitting on your date /spouse. What do you think you are, a bartender?

--Al


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

Correct my pronunciation.
If I want to say "a-niece", don't reply "an-iss".
Same goes for "broo-skett-uh" & "broo-shettuh", or anything else.
I'm there to enjoy a meal, not take a test.


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## amazingrace (Jul 28, 2006)

Shoving his ticket folder inside the back of his pants, where it comes into close proximity with his sweaty butt cheeks [or his underwear at the very least]. The idea that he serves food with the same hands that touch that folder, sickens me.


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## kirstens (Jul 3, 2009)

Exactly...And not refilling your drink.

It took sooo long one time I was at a restaurant to get our order out. We ordered sandwiches, mind you, nothing had to be cooked. So what to do while waiting.....order more drinks, drive up the bill. Clearly our food was ready, they just wanted us to drink more.


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## token (Jul 11, 2009)

I dont know if this has ever happened to anyone but it happens to me quite a lot when I get lucky enough to go out on a busy night if I'm not in my kitchen...

but have you ever been somewhere where they're a bit busy and have the server or food runner ask you how everything was when you didnt even get your food yet? I swear it has happened to me over half a dozen times and my answer is the same every time... "I'm sure it will be great" 

You have eyes, cant you see my silverware is still rolled and there isnt a crumb on the table?!


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## b.adams (Apr 3, 2009)

Once a friend and I went to a nice well known restaurant on the east side of Seattle and the waitress came around and asked if we would like to start with an appetizer which we ordered and she also asked what would we like for the main course which we told her what we wanted not knowing or expecting to get the appetizer and main course served at the same time! 


Now whenever I go out to eat I order appetizer and only when I am done with the appetizer I will order the main course, I hope that does not make the waiter/waitress mad.


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## chrislehrer (Oct 9, 2008)

There is an old Jack Ziegler cartoon for the New Yorker, entitled "Munch in Manhattan." If you've got a way to view that -- the online cartoonbank thing doesn't let you see it large enough to read the words -- it's about the funniest thing I've ever seen on infuriatingly pretentious-awful service.


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Hey Chris,
Tried to look at that too, link is:
Jack Ziegler : Munch in Manhattan - Cartoonbank.com

But yeah. It is unreadable at that size and it can't be made bigger to read.

Ah well


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

I ate at the Red Lobster on saturday and the waitress asked if the food was ok, before I could tell her that my trout was dry as the sahara, she blurts out " Oh , I am glad HON, just enjoy your meal" !
I wanted to yell so badly.
This woman did not have the courtesy to wait to see my answer then she calls me HON. 
I am not her Honey ! Where do waitresses get off calling their customers pet names ? Last I checked, we were not together.............


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Petals, I don't like the "pet" names people use here either...."Darl"..."Luv"...."Hon"...uggh
Have never come across it anywhere except here - have learnt to turn a deaf ear to it, but it still grates after 6 years in this state.

So glad she listened to your complaint!


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

DC,

Yes, I was so pleased with the whole dining experience. But like you said, pet names are something that should never be said to a customer, no matter how friendly someone is. 
I was at the Outback on sunday (last day of a long weekend) and the waiter came to my table and started pouring a beer, and blurts out, " I just know your going to enjoy this one as well". He looks down at me and says, " Uh, I got the wrong table ". Why not look at me first to see if they have the right table before they pour or serve ? Does that not make more sense ? 
In the meantime I was sipping a margarita.....:beer:

Petals


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## brad87561 (Sep 24, 2009)

I actually have one worse than that I was brought my check and asked how everything was before I got my food, or a refill on my coffee now that I think back. However, thats what you get at IHOP at 4am when you've been out drinking I guess. Not to one up you, but I haven't ever heard of that other than the night it happened to me.


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## kirstens (Jul 3, 2009)

I completely agree with you. The concept of an appetizer is a before the meal 'munchie.' It's something to hold you over until the main event. That's happened to me a couple of times. I'm not one to cause a scene but it does get under my skin. Good advice is to order appetizer, make sure it comes to your table and then order what you want for the meal.


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Lol Petals, that is pathetic, mmmm Marguerita with a beer chaser? Did you get the free beer and enjoy it? 

A thing I don't like is at some up market restaurants, where the food, atmosphere, service etc etc is great....why do they have the servers standing around like funeral directors waiting for you to say farewell to the mortal world? It can't be fun for the server, and it is not fun for the diner.

Just as an aside to that, where I am there is a meat company called Lethborg who make great sausages. But, there's also a nearby funeral director under the name of Lethborg....I don't enjoy those sausages so much anymore...wondering about where they come from


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## pete (Oct 7, 2001)

The other night I was at a place and ordered a Black and Tan. What came was a Black and Blue (Guinness and Blue Moon). I told the server that it was wrong to which she replied, and I quote, "I ordered a Black and Tan so that must be it." I said no, it wasn't to which the reply was, "Well can't you drink that?" I told her no and made her get me the proper drink. When she came back she apologized and said that the bartender made the wrong drink-translation-she grabbed the wrong drink as she didn't have a clue.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I agree, Pete . . . not being knowledgeable of what he/she is serving, and acting like the customer is wrong--definitely one of the worst things!


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## shelta (Sep 16, 2009)

A couple of things that bug me are a server arguing with you when you get something you didn't order like it's your fault that the wrong dish came. Also when a server has taken an order and disappears like being abducted by aliens, until the check arrives and the gratituity is forthcoming.
Something on which to speculate...is there a server "black hole" that swallows them up and then spews them out when it's "tip time"!


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## rgladso (Sep 7, 2009)

Well most of those are not big deals to me but my pet peeves are:

when the waitor waits 20 minutes before returning to your table

refilling drinks quick enough

when they are rude to you


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## jock (Dec 4, 2001)

I hate being ignored. I've walked out of a restaurant from being ignored too long.


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

Definitely. Same here. 

The other day, my wife and I walk into a classy Japanese restaurant. The hostess seats us, gives us menus, and says the waitress is going to be right with us. We wait a few minutes, then see the hostess show another couple to the table next to us. Within seconds, a bus boy brings them hot towels. Hmmm.... we didn't get hot towels? Nevermind. Meanwhile, my wife is starving, and still no sign of a waitress.

A few minutes later, the waitress comes, and goes to take THEIR order! I thought we were going to leave - but finally we talked to the waitress and she promptly brought us hot towels and took our order. 

Of course, the other table still got their food first. What are we... invisible?


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Rgladson...Waiters are paid to wait 

Know what you mean tho...I hate nursing a half inch of drink in a glass for half an hour before it has a chance of being refilled.

Once we went for a "quick" meal before catching a movie. Told the waitrss in polite, but no uncertain terms, that we had only 45 minutes...what could they offer us to be made and eaten in that time, so the kitchen had a chance to get it done, we could eat it, and walk across the road to the cinema. It was a very slow night in the restaurant, only 2 other couples.

We were relying on her to be realistic timewise so it would work for everyone.
Result? nope. Didn't happen. We were walking up to the FOH after way too long to let them know, basically, sorry, we have to go, etc etc and the meal appeared. I felt mortified for the cook. But we did have to go. It was an hour after we arrived.

I've got to admit, they did offer us both a free meal to make up for it, so no love lost. A matter of more experience on the wait staff's part perhaps.

We never did take up the offer of the free meal. Have gone elsewhere since.


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## rgladso (Sep 7, 2009)

Yes I agree with you unfortunatly that seems to happen very often at restaurants around the world, and I guess I understand seeing how busy that waitors and waitresses can be and it is easy to forget about their customers. On the other hand though I understand being a customer how annoying it is when you see someone come in after you and get their food first, or if you just feel like you being avoided. Yes you should remind them that your there but the first time do not be rude to them unless it happens more and more after you have talked to your server.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I have no problem with someone who arrives after me receiving their food before me, there are valid reasons for this to happen.
If someone in my party orders a well done steak, later arriving group that orders soup and sandwich could and should receive their food first.
The cooks job is to prepare all food as expeditiously as possible.


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

I'm surprised no one seems to have mentioned this yet: when the waiter touches me.  

Yes, I know that there have been studies saying that touching the customer on the shoulder (surely not anywhere else? ) gets a bigger tip, but not from me!


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

The worst thing a waiter can do is to blame me for the problem -- whatever it is. 

BDL


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

Yes Chef BDL,
Blaming....

But being touched (Suzanne said) or coming toooo close to my face where they are breathing down my neck is a no-no...touche pas S.V.P.


Petals


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## filthy habitz (Oct 6, 2009)

I can't stand when the server can't explain the speical, becuz she could care less what is happening in the kitchen.

And what about the frickin CELL PHONES. Your at work, don't talk or txt your friends. We all have phones and all have friends. We know when we work we do just that, WORK


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Yea I don't want to be touched either, and I especially don't like when the waiter sits down at the table with me to take my order... what's that about?

I always ask what the soup of the day is and most of the time I get this stupid answer: "Let me go check."


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## rgladso (Sep 7, 2009)

Yes I agree with you unfortunatly that seems to happen very often at restaurants around the world, and I guess I understand seeing how busy that waitors and waitresses can be and it is easy to forget about their customers. On the other hand though I understand being a customer how annoying it is when you see someone come in after you and get theirfood first, or if you just feel like you being avoided. Yes you should remind them that your there but the first time do not be rude to them unless it happens more and more after you have talked to your server.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

If the server takes an order before me from a table that arrives after me, yes, it's a problem.
If they take their order after mine but their food comes out first, not so much.
After the order is taken the server has little control....if the cooks put the other order up first (and there are reasons why this would be acceptable) what are they supposed to do, let it die in the window?


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## rgladso (Sep 7, 2009)

Well most of those are not big deals to me but my pet peeves are:

when the waitor waits 20 minutes before returning to your table

refilling drinks quick enough

when they are rude to you


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## hotchpotch (Oct 16, 2009)

My service expectations vary as to the quality of the dining establishment. These are all things that have happened in fine dining establishments ($50 pp and up type places).

#1 Server sitting down at our table to take the order - don't kneel on the floor either.
#2 Food auctioning ("who had the duck?")
#3 Complete lack of knowledge about menu items ("I am a vegetarian I don't eat meat.") I don't care - you are a salesperson you should know your product.
#4 Not refilling wine glasses, yes I know the bottle is on the table but I just paid 150 bucks for it - you want a tip for service, SERVE it.
#5 Timing of plates - appetizers arrived, 2 minutes later entrees arrived, and then the server realized that we had also ordered pre-entrée salads so they brought those also - true story, happened in one the most expensive and highly rated restaurants in the US.

To the restaurants credit the manager immediately removed the salad and entrees and corrected the timing issues, when the entrees came they were fresh and just cooked not reheated. But the server was absolutely clueless and unless I had requested to speak to the manager the plates would have stayed there.

#6 Not knowing how to fillet or carve something tableside (A whole sea bass was presented and the server started to hack away at it, my friend, a chef, who ordered it, stopped him and gave this poor soul a lesson on the dining room floor, he didn't do it in a demeaning sort of way, but what this guy was doing to the sea bass was criminal.)

Not a "server" but the Sommelier

#7 After ordering a $ 300 bottle of wine by name, a so-called sommelier replied with - "What number is that?" [NOTE: it was NOT a bin number - each wine had a number beside it like cheap Chinese food restaurants.]

And for the finale it came from a Maitre d':

(drum roll please)

After complaining about a spoiled piece of meat the Maitre d' came over with knife and fork in hand, cut into the item and proceeded to eat it in front of us and then proclaim there is nothing wrong with it. I am not kidding - I have 3 other witnesses to this event.

I heard later that this gentleman was let go several weeks after our run-in with him, due to a "high volume of guest complaints" - ya think.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I understand this statement but here's where I dsagree. I'm a very slow drinker, I am usually the slowest drinker at the table and I often have dining companions who are capable of guzzling. Everytime the waiter comes by he refills their glasses, but not mine because it still looks full. That means that by the end of the night everybody has enjoyed several glasses of wine while I never got past the first one. 

I eat french fries fast, but I don't see anyone coming over to refill my plate on those and that would be a welcome change.


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## chefray (Sep 29, 2009)

It's not just an age thing. I get treated with the presumption that I won't tip well because I drink only water at certain restaurants. They need to get it straight; I drink water here because your tea sucks, I don't much like soda and your wine list is horrible. 

I also agree with giant steak knives being annoying. The serrations give a visceral experience that is just what the doctor ordered for ambiance in a rustic, steak house type establishment, but overly wide blades are just plain obnoxious.


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## chefray (Sep 29, 2009)

That is the true mark of an unprofessional individual and it makes them look very lazy.

Most people don't realize this. I had a vegetarian waiter in a country club restaurant I ran. I told him not to use this cop-out and just ask one of the chefs about any dish that he would not eat.

I could not agree more.

Timing falls partly on the kitchen and partly on the waitstaff. A good waiter, however, knows to send stuff back if it comes too early and to ask for stuff to be pushed if it is needed earlier than expected. 


I have never trusted anyone to carve tableside without first doing it in the kitchen under my watchful eye. If no one can do it on the waitstaff, I'll keep a prep cook/apprentice around for service to do it.

The he wasn't a Sommelier. He was a waiter, and a bad one at that. A sommelier would have known it by name and a good waiter would have written it down and made a stop at the host's stand to reference the wine list.


He should have been beaten with a stick and the chef should have been beaten with a really big stick for letting that leave his kitchen.


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## siduri (Aug 13, 2006)

In guess from the kinds of places I eat in in Rome, the problems are quite different.

I don;t get mad if it's an actual waiter, because they are paid nothing and usually don;t even get the miserable tips people leave here (if it's 5 % it's a lot) because the owner takes them all (!!!). But often it's the owner, or members of the owner's family that serves the meals. They seem to believe that it is somehow rude to bring the check when you ask for it. I've seen these guys go over to the side, and wait around for ten or more minutes, and THEN go to the cash register and calculate the bill, and bring it to the table. It's like they think it's rude to look to eager to get your money. But since most of the time it's almost impossible to get your food, to get an extra bottle of water, more bread or (heaven forbid) salt and pepper, you spend most of the meal waiting for stuff, and can;t wait to get out of there.

But check this out on the theme of snobby waiters, 
YouTube - Mitchell and Webb - Bad Waiter


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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

That's awesome!:lol:


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## san4os (Nov 5, 2009)

...
--- when they bring me my order long time!!!

--- when they come to me often and ask me "would you like smt else??"


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## thekitchensink (Aug 4, 2009)

When I was a little kid, my family and I were out at Red Lobster with some friends and our server QUIT mid-service. I guess it was really busy and they didn't have any idea what was going on. It took hours for us to get our food and by the time they finally served us, they were out of more than half the items on the menu.

To this day, I have no idea why we didn't just leave...guess our party was a bunch of pushovers. Not me though, I worked in food-service for a while and though I'm always courteous to those servers who treat me right, I also refuse to be jerked around.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

We had a similar situation at a Shoney's. The server walked out in the middle of the shift to go party with his friends. 

Making it worse: the manager told me, in a tone of long-suffering, "this is the second time he's done that." The guy then got his nose out of joint when rather than sympathizing, I told him that in any place with a real manager there wouldn't have been an opportunity for it to have happened a second time. 

What genius has a server walk out in the middle of a shift, and then allow him to come back as if nothing had happened?


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Siduri....thank you for the link! Had the best laugh in a long time


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

I had driven for nearly four hours, and it was about 2 a.m. when I arrived, famished, at the Denny's. I can't remember what I ordered, but I had it with hash browns. The waitress had done a nice job so far, but once I finished the meal, other than the hash browns, she seemed to be rushing to get me out of the restaurant.

I had been getting caught up on my email, using my laptop, and thought nothing of being there 40 minutes past the hour. There were two other occupied tables in the whole place, so it wasn't as if they needed the seats. She asked if I was ready for my check, and when I said I was, she whipped it out of her pocket and plopped it down. She asked if she could take my plate, but I told her I was still eating the hash browns. Five minutes later she was back, asking me if I was about done. She took hold of the plate, but I was still not done, thank you. Another five minutes, and she was back, asking if I was ready to pay and go.

At this point, I was worried that I was violating some local ordinance about loitering in dining establishments, and was tired of being nagged, so I grabbed my laptop, coat, and hat, and left.

As soon as I got back to my hotel, I went to the Denny's website and used their feedback form to describe my experience and tell them that if there is a time limit of some sort, they need to make it known. I believe I used the term, "bum's rush".

Two days later I got a phone call from the mortified manager of the Denny's, who said the waitress had been about to go off shift and must have been hoping to get her tip before then. Maybe she needed gas money to get home. In any case, he was profusely apologetic and sent me two magical coupons for free meals at any Denny's.

I have another Denny's service story, but it is about wonderful service, so I'll go find a suitable thread to tell that one.

Oh, and I agree about being ignored. I stopped at a cafe in Beaver, Utah, and sat there for 45 minutes without even being spoken to. I could see servers cleaning tables, chatting with the cooks, etc. A guy came in, sat at the counter, ordered his meal, got it, ate it, and headed out the door while I sat there, waiting. At some point I had decided to stay just out of curiosity to see how long it would take to talk to somebody. I finally got hungry enough to just walk out. I imagine they would have closed up for the night with me sitting there. The place is under new ownership, thank goodness.


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Lyle - it's no wonder they are under new ownership. I haven't had the "joy" of being ignored (it will happen one day), you must be a martyr to patience to wait that long. If it's ten minutes to get the drinks menu, I'm out of there and find the next place. No matter what the venue. I'd rather get Macky D's in 2 mins flat than be ignored.

A rule of thumb...if nothing happens after ten minutes - get their attention (even if its just a glass of water)and some action - or walk.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Yes, I agree. Ten minutes is a good rule of thumb. If they are so busy or lazy that it takes that long to get attended to, the entire visit is going to be a drag. I was just curious about how long it was going to take. Like listening to one of your kids telling a wild story to get out of trouble, letting him go on digging himself deeper, just to see how absurd it gets.


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

Lyle... You have kids? No wonder you're THAT patient!!! :d


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Lol Lyle....know exactly what you mean about kids. My teens luckily have always been pretty honest. (Thank the powers that be. Well, no thank me mostly).

But 45 mins is extreme. Did you have your Cloak of Invisibility on?


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

Well yesterday was a good one. My wife ordered sparkling water. The waitress brought flat mineral water. When I pointed out we ordered sparkling water, she replied "I know, but that's all we have". Me: "ok but that's not what we ordered!". Her: "but we don't have By sparkling water, otherwise I would have brought you some". Me, internally: "Huh? So if they font have the rib eye steak I ordered, is she going to bring ne cashew crusted Halibut?"... In the end she said she would take it off our bill, but with a tone that suggested she was doing us a favor!


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

She'd of brought you something with Spam in it.


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

Yeah! :lol: I'd like to see her try.... I'll make her eat it in front of me!:laser:


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Even Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, cashew crusted Halibut, spam, spam, and spam?


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## tash (Jan 9, 2010)

when I was 19 my friends and I went out to a nicer (not super nice, but they had cloth napkins  ) place. My sister who was 1 6 or 17 at the time was with us and she also worked in foodservice. She ordered an entree that came with bread. The server seemed annoyed that we were there at all. Didn't take our menus after we ordered. Then when our food came she just put it down and left. My sister noticed she haden't gotten her bread and found our server and asked about it. The server tried to act like she had brought us everything. When my sister showed her the menu that she had left and the words "comes with bread" the server said in a very condescending tone:
"I am glad to see you can read". 

Now, normally my friends and I are nice tippers, that night we were not.


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## derric (Jan 22, 2010)

not trying to stir anything up, just speaking from an 8 yr server's point of view, nicer restaurants tend to have server assistants that are pretty much bussers but interact with the table a lot more. They do this so that the server can spend more time at tables discussing food and wine and the sa can fill waters, bring bread, ect. Also busy restaurants often have food runners to make sure the food gets to the table hot. In any case, I have never worked in a restaurant that these positions were not tipped out by the waiter, the guest is never expected to split tips.


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## derric (Jan 22, 2010)

I swear, it is Murphy's law that this happens so often. Servers do not intentionally wait for your mouth to be full so you can't complain about anything, at least no one I have worked with. In many establishments there is too much to do to either wait till you take a bite, or wait for the opportune moment when you're not talking or not about to take a bite. My case is this, would you rather not have anyone ask you how things are, and then you don't have a chance to send an undercooked steak back, or tell them this isn't what you ordered?


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## derric (Jan 22, 2010)

I agree, if I'm at Applebee's however it irritates me when guests will get mad at the fact that our restaurant (fine dining with exquisite Angus beef) does not carry A-1.


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## derric (Jan 22, 2010)

I once asked a manager why we had these, and he told me it was so you could reach the person on the inside of the booths plate. Its kind of an old tradition that is dying out. I love cracked pepper and often do not get enough on my salad simply because I do not want to wear the servers arm out. Small pepper grinders are definitely the way to go.


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## derric (Jan 22, 2010)

This drives me F****** nuts when I see or hear of co-workers being this rude. The guest is ALWAYS RIGHT!!!! 

And yes, there is a black-hole, it's called cigarettes (ugh)/cell phones. Both will be outlawed at my future restaurant.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Then you can't dip your fries in A-1. Oh, wait, you probably don't _have_ fries!


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## nochipra (Jan 23, 2010)

Not leaving me alone after the food arrives and ignoring me when I try to get their attention.


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## epi (Apr 29, 2009)

Last Friday I took my boyfriend out for dinner at Apple Bees. I was on the phone telling my girlfriend that it is my boyfriend's b/day. Apparently the waitress overheard my conversation. Shourtly, a bunch of waiters/waitresses came clapping and singing "happy bithday" (*no tune whatsoever*) at our table.

They were like:-

It's your birthday (clap clap)
happy birthday (clap clap)
It's your birthday (clap clap)
happy birthday (clap clap)
happy happy happy (clap clap)
birthday too you (clap clap)

Gosh! it was soo annoying and my b/f didn't appreciate the drama. My god!


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

That would sure annoy me.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

What were you doing on the phone while in a restaurant in the first place! 

You apparently don't like it when the servers do their job (it's standard, in those kinds of places). But you can be rude enough to use a phone where others can hear the conversation.

Kind of a double standard, isn't it?


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## epi (Apr 29, 2009)

Yes, I know it's rude to be on the phone while dining. However, I'm sure you are as guilty as I am accepting a phone call once in a blue moon. (say it aint so)

I was just aswering the thread starter's question "what is the worst thing a *server* can do to make *you* mad?

Let's not stray away from the topic by pointing fingers at each other. This is not about me, you, she, him, us, they, them. . . aiight. It's about the server

Now let's join hands together and sing "*It's been a hard day's night*" by the Beatles

_*singing*_

It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright

eace:


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

As a matter of fact, Epi, it ain't so. I would no more carry a phone into a restaurant then I'd light up a stogie in one and happily puff away. There are some things that are proper behavior, and some that are not. Taking the attitude that "everybody" does it, especially when everybody clearly doesn't, does not make poor behavior correct.

But, as you say, let's confine it to what servers do that makes you mad. As I read it, you've gone into the kind of restaurant where that happy birthday nonsense is commonly done; indeed, is expected by the patrons. You then, in effect, announce to the server that it's your BFs birthday. 

She does her job, and that makes you mad. 

I just can't relate to that.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

OK, how about a server who interrupts taking your order to answer her phone? She said "It's my sitter! I have to take this!" The sitter was apparently her mom.

I was speechless.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

Applebee's requires the birthday song?


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

If you tell them it's your birthday, you get the song, Jim. 

Used to be the birthday boy (or girl) got their meal free, too, but I don't know if that still applies. 

My point is that if you patronize a place where the birthday song thing is done (which, nowadays, includes most casual dining chains), and you let them know that it's your birthday, and they sing the song, then they are just doing their job. 

If you don't want them seranading at your table there are several solutions: don't patronize that establishment. Or don't let them know there's a birthday at the table. Blaming the server for something you brought on yourself, however, strikes me as being odd at best.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I only asked because they don't do it at our local AB's.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I can't respond to that, Jim, except with a guess. Could be that they got so many complaints (most people I know not only don't want it done at their table, they find it aggrevating when it's done at other tables as well) from regular customers that they dropped it?

Chain policy, faik, is to sing it. In fact, as Epi noted, they even have their own version, which isn't so much singing as it is yelling, punctuated with clapping. 

Personally, I think the whole thing is silly. And intrusive. But I don't make the rules.


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## phatch (Mar 29, 2002)

I've made it a point to skip any place where the staff sings. What an annoyance to other diners and an embarrasment to the birthday person. 

I can find no upside to the practice at all. It's the antithesis of hospitality.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I find it tolerable in a kid friendly environment but even then there should be an age limit for who you sing to.
I think the cut-off should be 5 or 6 years old.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

Well, now, the waitress may have thought that your phone call was a clever way of informing her that it was your boyfriend's birthday without doing so in an obvious manner, in order to surprise him. If that had indeed been the case, you would have appreciated her picking up the hint.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Then you miss out on Tucano's!

I'm sure the dining places take a very pragmatic view. If it's Joe's birthday, and twelve of his friends take him out to lunch at your restaurant to celebrate, there you have thirteen covers and you are out one free dessert. And that free dessert probably prompts more dessert purchases than you'd otherwise have.

By the time they are again ready to dine out, _most_ of the other guests probably have forgotten about any annoyance they felt due to all the racket, remembering instead the good food and great service.

And although I share your apparent love of being made a spectacle , some people actually like being the center of attention. I was surprised when my very shy 22-year-old son grinned from ear to ear when the staff beat on their drum and sang to him on his birthday. He said he thought it was cool.

I do remember one place where the staff actually could carry a tune. It was a different experience altogether.


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## epi (Apr 29, 2009)

Hold it right there( Re the highlighted.) Before you get on your high horse, please call Apple Bees @ 212-391-7414. The birthday song is *NOT* mandatory, It is done *ONLY* by request and I for one never requested the birthday song.

Have a nice day

eace:


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

That's the best one yet!


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## beans76 (Feb 16, 2010)

I'm a mother, so it really gets on my nerves when I catch this look on the waiter's face as if he was about to say "Oh, no, not the children". I usually try to pick up places which are referred to as "family ones" or children-friendly, but once in awhile we drop in to a regular restaurant and then I just can't stand the looks and the grins :/


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Beans, here's our experience in a fairly nice restaurant just last weekend.  It wasn't necessarily anti-child, but the meals started at $20 and a glass of house wine was $8.50.  

We were seated next to a party of 6- a couple in their mid thirties, a 2 year old, a 6 year old, and the grandparents.  The 2 year old acted like many of his age- screaming when he wanted something, jumping up and down and banging things. The parents were doing a lot of "please stop that" but not making anything change.  The 6 year old was under their table, under the unoccupied tables around us, shooting his race car all over the place, laying in the aisle so the server had to step over him.  At one point, the mother looked over her shoulder at my husband and said "sorry", then turned back around while the behaviors continued.  My husband asked me if I though she meant "sorry I'm a totally ineffective parent", but I guessed not.

I think the parents were totally at fault for allowing these behaviors and staying in the restaurant instead of taking the kids out when they acted up or when their tolerence for sitting in a restaurant reached its end, but I also fault the management for not asking them to control especially the 6 year old.  These dummies sat over coffee for the hour we were there!  We ended up not eating dinner there, but left after out apps and drinks.

Kids are fine, but it's up to the parents to know when it's time to leave.  THAT'S why servers look askew at people who bring kids into restaurants.


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## charron (Feb 3, 2010)

When I was a server, happily I very rarely had customers who were not happy.  The ones who were seemed determined to be dissapointed from the moment they walked in. *sigh*

So, as a server and burgeoning cook in a steakhouse bar & grill I was well aware of the challenges of the job sometimes.  When 16 of our staff, after a weekend together in Niagra Falls, stopped on the way home for breakfast in a little diner we expected to wait.  A large group, mid morning on a Sunday... we walked in with reasonable expectations.

What we got was a very young server, by herself, that spent most of the time we were there chatting with the owner in the attached bar/lounge.  She would take a few orders, wander over to ask a question (presumably) and lean on the bar for a while giggling.  It was clear she was having trouble so we agreed to place very simple orders.  She came back eventually, took a few more orders (and yes, we were all sitting at the same table... they were physically equiped for our large group...)  A half hour went by and one of our party got up and went to the coffee maker at the server station to put on coffee.  A couple more of us got up and gathered cutlery to set the table.

We discovered the cook on that morning was a very confused little old lady.  When she finally got orders in she didn't know where to start.  In truth, she didn't even get all of the chits... as we found out later.  Four of us went into the kitchen and got to work.  Yes, we cooked our own breakfast.  The owner looked at us but didn't say a thing.

When we were finishing up the server came by and dropped a pile of checks in the middle of the table and walked away.  It had become beyond absurd to the point of hilarity, so we actually scraped and bussed our own dishes.  It seemed otherwise the little old lady would get stuck doing it all by herself.  So, then began the saga of trying to figure out who's check was who's.  Seems the server, if she didn't understand what we were ordering ('cause bacon n eggs sunny with brown was too confusing) just rang up the most expensive item on the menu.  Repeatedly.  Nothing matched with what we had ordered and eaten, but she seemed to think we should pay without question.

The owner finally got involved.   He also decided we should pay whatever bill we had been given, and actually started to shout at us.  Perhaps he thought he could intimidate us but we were well beyond that... and a few of the staff with us were our bouncers, so it was just silly.

We agreed among ourselves how much we should pay for our meals... it worked out to a few dollars each.  We did slip a $50 tip to the poor cook.  I hope the owner didn't get it.


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## lolamb10 (Feb 17, 2010)

Agreed!! My biggest pet peeve is when servers are completely absent during your entire meal but stop to chat and make nice when they're dropping off the bill -- ugh. Isn't it clear that we see right through it?



shelta said:


> A couple of things that bug me are a server arguing with you when you get something you didn't order like it's your fault that the wrong dish came. Also when a server has taken an order and disappears like being abducted by aliens, until the check arrives and the gratituity is forthcoming.
> Something on which to speculate...is there a server "black hole" that swallows them up and then spews them out when it's "tip time"!


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## dphagan (Feb 17, 2010)

Charron, 

That type of service is absolutely horrible.  I'm shocked that you didn't charge the owner for your services making coffee, cooking breakfast, bussing your own tables, etc.


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## chefray (Sep 29, 2009)

dphagan said:


> Charron,
> 
> That type of service is absolutely horrible. I'm shocked that you didn't charge the owner for your services making coffee, cooking breakfast, bussing your own tables, etc.


I would have.


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

Years ago when our kids were 2 and 4 we went out for dinner at the Keg.  I packed my usual backpack full of colouring books etc to keep them busy while we enjoyed the meal, and the kids were amazing! We had the best time and decided we would go listen to some jazz before going home. (it was maybe 8pm at this point) So we went for a walk and found a place that had a band that early and we were greeted very rudely by the host at the door and they were looking at our kids as if they were going to trash the place or something but they did allow us in and we ordered dessert for them.  The server was just as cold as the host and honestly we let the kids eat their dessert and then we left.  I have never felt so unwelcome in an establishment as I did that night and you know.. they were judging our kids to be brats based on their ages as opposed to how well behaved they were in the place.  

Another time in Montreal we were at a place in the older part of the city and since they didn't offer kids portions, we split our meals with our kids.  I had ordered spaghetti for my daughter and myself and what they brought out was far too spicy for her to eat and when I sent it back the server insisted that I had ordered the spicy sauce when in fact I had ordered the mild and she made it out to be such a burden on her to go back and get me the right dish.  

So my complaints... pre-judging us as soon as we walk through the door and making their error appear to be my fault.


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## roman (Dec 12, 2008)

After the absolute worst service possible, being followed into the cloak room an being asked "Where's my tip??"

Roman


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

That one's easy to deal with, Roman. Look the server straight in the eye and say: "OK, here's a tip: Consider a different career."

For year's I've threatened to make up rsvp cards and envelopes. The envelope will say "a tip for you." The cards will either say the above, or "change your attitude."


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

I bet after getting a card that says change your attitude they might just wake up the next time they see you... IF you choose to go back after having bad service.


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## web monkey (Jan 18, 2007)

OK, I just can't resist. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

This wasn't just the server, it was the chef too.

I like Mexican food, but don't have it very often because there are only a couple of Mexican restaurants in the area and the one I like is always packed right out to the sidewalk.

So . . . I was talking to a friend and he said "You should try "X". (name withheld to protect the guilty, and because I think they're crazy enough to come after me). The food is awesome!"

First, it takes a private detective to find this place. It's not in Google, everybody I talk to has heard of it but nobody knows where it is. It's like the Secret Restaurant. Finally we got directions from someone. Turns out it's in an unmarked back section behind a bar that's built into the first floor of a house. (it's got "atmosphere" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif) I got the phone number from the friend and called up to find out what their hours were. The woman who answered said they were serving until 10pm.

Cool. We get there at 8pm, it's mostly empty, so we sit down at a table and wait. And wait. And wait.

45 minutes later the waitress shows up, drops off some menus, and leaves. Comes back in 15 minutes or so and announces, unprovoked "My feet hurt and I itch". I feel bad for her, but the itching thing was *way too much* information. We ordered some chips and salsa, I think I ordered a burrito and my wife ordered a quesadilla. She takes our order and leaves.

We're starving. No chips & salsa, no tortillas, no crackers, no drinks, no nothing, and we've been there almost an hour.

This is the best part. About 5 minutes later, the chef storms out of the kitchen and starts yelling at us and says "How about I come to your house a 9 o'clock at night and make *you* cook for *me*?!" I'm kind of on tilt at this point, thinking that the general purpose of a restaurant is that someone makes food and people come to eat it. Maybe I'm wrong. Who knows . . .

In any case, I have a personal rule about not antagonizing crazy people with sharp knives, so I just stared at him. When he went back to the kitchen we got up and left.

I can honestly say that was the worst and most bizarre service I've ever had.

Terry


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## the pie lady (Dec 15, 2008)

One of the worst experiences I have had with a server is at my local pub.  I am not a stranger to the place and go with my family occasionally plus my girlfiends and I meet there once a month for food and beer.  At one of our regular outings the server asked us how long we were planning on staying because later they usually had 'regulars' who came by.  This was before we even ordered our food!  Keep in mind that the table was not reserved and we are also regulars - having been meeting there monthly for the past 10 years.  I mentioned that we were also regulars and the server replied that this wasn't our regular day. It was and I said so.  She replied that it wasn't our usual time.  It was and I said so.  I think we may have stayed longer than usual that evening.


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

Web monkey,

You wrote, 


> In any case, I have a personal rule about not antagonizing crazy people with sharp knives...


I sure wish people showed me that kind of insight and sensitivity.

BDL


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

ChefBillyB said:


> Pulling up a chair and taking my order, like i'm buying a used car.


This absolutely makes me want to leave a restaurant.


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## pbcook (Mar 10, 2010)

It irritates me when you're ready to pay the bill and leave and suddenly, the server that has been hovering all during the meal is nowhere to be seen.  I'd think they'd want to collect the bill so the next party can be seated.  It doesn't upset me, but it's confusing when the server tells me their name; what am I going to do with that information, call them by name when I want something?  I'm polite, but I'm there to enjoy my friends, not get to know the server.  

The one thing that did upset me was when the server took the sugar packets from my table without asking if I was done (I wasn't) to give to another table.  We're not talking a dive restaurant, this was Max's Opera Cafe in Palo Alto.  What I really wanted was a refill of my iced tea but by the time she finally reappeared, all we wanted was the check.


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

PBCook said:


> It irritates me when you're ready to pay the bill and leave and suddenly, the server that has been hovering all during the meal is nowhere to be seen. I'd think they'd want to collect the bill so the next party can be seated.


+1. Many times when I've been out for lunch and had to go back to work in the afternoon, I've had to get up and go to the reception or the pass or whatever to ask to pay for my bill. Other times I've asked the waiter for the bill right after we ordered, explaining that we had to leave right after we were done. Generally that doesn't work, as you have to ask them for the bill again 3 or 4 times since they're probably used to their usual procedure.

Another thing is when ordering take out. Why do they make you wait for your food to be ready, then once the package arrives from the kitchen, they take your payment? Just more time wasted, and more time for the food to get cold. I wish they'd always get the payment out of the way first, but unfortunately many restaurants don't do that.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I just reread all one hundred posts in this thread.

D_mn, we're a hard to please lot. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


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## fl italian (Mar 2, 2009)

We were a large group in an Atlanta Applebee's after spending the day working a trade show: on our feet all day and looking for some food and adult beverages. When I'm out to dinner, I'm courteous to wait staff and normally pretty nice as they are usually the only smiling face I've see all day.

This night 8 of us came in for dinner and took almost 30 minutes before we finally got our drinks. The blood is starting to heat up a bit but it gets so much better....

3 of the guys order the EXACT same dish. The guy next to me is a vegetarian and asked for his meal with no chicken (shouldn't be a problem) and me, I order fajitas. Well after an HOUR the food comes out and I'm not happy. The 3 guys with the same dish... all 3 portions are different sizes and they give the biggest portion to the smallest guy and the one who looks like a wall gets the smallest. The Vegetarian has chicken in his meal and all I have is tortillas, sour cream and guacamole; no fajitas.

The manager just happened to come by and I started in about the inequality and the meat in th veggie dish...and the lack of my fajitas. Well, he scoops up the veggie dish and has a server bring me my fajitas immediately.

Now for the best part... my fajitas are cold. Not heat cold: COOLER COLD!! The manager comes back to the table and asks how everything is now. I ask him to hold out his hand.

Yes, I did.... I put a whopping scoop of ice cold fajitas right in his palm and asked him with a smile.. "what do you feel??".......... The look on his face was priceless and he couldn't get that plate from me fast enough!!!

The guy next to me was new with our company and a southern boy... I'm born and raised in the Bronx!! He thought we were all going to die!!

The result: we got the whole meal, drinks too PLUS dessert on Applebee's. I never did that before and probably wouldn't do it again but I needed to make my point.

I did.... /img/vbsmilies/smilies/peace.gif


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Not a surprising story to me, because Applebee's is the most inconsistent chain I'm familiar with---not just one to another, but within the same location. 

As I told the owner of a local franchise, who offered us freebie coupons after an experience almost as bad as yours, "what good is a free meal if it's inedible?"

To be fair, we've never had a situation, at the local one, where the servers were anything but helpful and oriented to us having the best meal possible. But, unfortunately, a smile and a willingness to please don't overcome bad food. And we just don't go back.


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## fr33_mason (Jan 9, 2008)

Last week here in Edmonton, I had not only the server being rude, but also the manager.  It was over a complaint my friends and I lodged with the server on the drinks.  We were ordering double hi-balls at this high end steak house downtown and the the drinks that were supposed to be doubles, clearly were not. 

After the second one being only a single in a tall glass, I proceeded to let the waiter know that thwe bartender was pouring what I believed was only singles.  The waiter responded "What do you want me to do about it?"  Showing some restraint, I bluntly said "We want a proper round of doubles on the house thanks."

I figure after all we have just racked up a food and spirits bill of around $500.00 so this one complaint after all that we ate and enjoyed I might add, we ask for a proper round of doubles.  We get it..yum.. nice job bartender.   So we decide to have a couple more rounds now that the bartender knows what we want right?   Wrong,  The bartender sends back a round of the singles in a tall glass.  I've had it.  The manager is called and instad of being appologetic he basically condescends us with "Are you accusing us of short pouring?" which was never implied.  We had the chef come out and tipped him a hundred and paid our bill  because he was the only credit to that establishment that night.


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## chef21 (Aug 16, 2007)

Lol this reminds me once of a place where the waitress demanded for a tip even though she was rude, yelling at us, and even wacked into one of our friends when serving (she didn't even say sorry). We were leaving the restaurant without going to tip her because she was so rude then she comes out screaming at us demanding for a tip. Our friend was so nice that he gave her a tip. It was the worse restuarant experience that I ever had.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

Chef21 said:


> Lol this reminds me once of a place where the waitress demanded for a tip even though she was rude, yelling at us, and even wacked into one of our friends when serving (she didn't even say sorry). We were leaving the restaurant without going to tip her because she was so rude then she comes out screaming at us demanding for a tip. Our friend was so nice that he gave her a tip. It was the worse restuarant experience that I ever had.


This sounds like a nightmare! Or a scene out of a _film noir_. "Pelle the Conqueror" comes to mind.


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## neonmeatedream (Apr 5, 2010)

American-style service: I don't need a stranger to ask me how I am and I don't want someone hovering behind me refilling my glass. And that's for sit-down restaurants; bars with fussy service are just beyond the pale... pubs that /have/ service other than the pouring of pints and the dispensing of pork scratchings are unimaginable.


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## gypsy2727 (Mar 9, 2010)

Not pick-up their orders on time!
I have disembowled servers in my time, for various  disagreements ....but when it comes to my food! PICK-UP!
After all is said and done we are hopefully laughing about it at the end of the night.... maybe one of us buys the other a beer and we are then officially cooled off!


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## nichole (Sep 16, 2009)

I once had a server who had bad breath!  Needless to say I lost my appetite right there and then!


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## sherryindy (Apr 17, 2010)

I'm a newbie to this forum and I instantly gravitated to this thread, which I find just fascinating. You guys have pretty well covered all my gripes and then some, but I will say that to me, the very worst things a restaurant staff member can do are 1. make me wait inordinately long periods of time for _anything_, and 2. not intervene when there's a screaming or otherwise totally obnoxious child at a nearby table.


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## epicureantour (Mar 16, 2010)

The worst thing a server can do is not show up for work and don't bother calling to give you notice.  I hate flaky server/actor/models.  Sometimes it's best to hire people who have a little more bills and responsibility because they're always in need of that paycheck.  The average 20-something server/model/actor will ditch your important event to party with friends on a Saturday night.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

We've actually had an experience where the server left in the middle of a shift to go party with friends.

The manager apologized, and then moaned that this was the second time that server had pulled such a stunt.

Me, I had to wonder how he'd gotten the opportunity to do it a second time.


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## lcool (Apr 22, 2010)

agree to all written so far,and would add to Nichole's issue "GRUBBY" in even a small way isn't small
lean forward and pass me the menu etc and my first impression is your dirty shirt or jacket
even worse your hands aren't clean


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## elonat (Apr 29, 2010)

I have been in Restaurant Industry for 25+ years in both Server and Management capacities, so I feel I have a solid understanding of what it takes to successfully operate a Restaurant. During my long career, I have been extremely fortunate in that I have been employed by upscale and professionally operated Restaurants where this type of behavior is simply not tolerated. 
110% of the reason for experiences such as these lies squarely on the shoulders of the Management for not providing the neccessary tools (Professional training) needed for the servers to perform  their job.
In this industry, you either have the capacity to provide the true hospitality required for success or you don't. This is very easy to determine during a properly conducted interview by a person, who themselves, has the passion and determination needed to be considered a success.
In all of the establishments I have been associated with, my passion for the industry has been clearly evident and I was offered and accepted the role of Lead Server/In house Trainer and was responsible for all initial  and ongoing training.
Over the years I have totally enjoyed doing my job. I realized early on in my career that in order for me to bring home a lucrative salary, I had to do my duties with emphasis being placed on carrying myself with the utmost Professional attitude and also requiring my coworkers to behave in a similar fashion.
So my advice to those of you who do encounter anything less than stellar service is to immediately get a Manager involved and allow them to do what needs to be done in order to bring that server up to speed. Since it is your money being spent you do have a right to voice your displeasure and to give them an opportunity to correct any deficiencies BEFORE you leave the building. Do not simply sit and say nothing....bring these concerns to the attention of the Manager while it is happening and not after. Give us the opportunity to correct our mistakes and allow us to provide you with an enjoyable experience...that is what we do and that is what you spend your hard earned money on.

No one is perfect and on occasion negative things do happen. This holds true in any field. What does seperate a successful Restaurant from a not so successful, mediocre one is how they go about correcting the problem to bring you total satisfaction. 
If, after you get a manager to realize the problem and notice he/she is not being proactive to the point of immediately resolving the issue, just do not return to the establishment. But don't let it ruin your entire night.
I would advise you to compose a well written letter the following day (give yourself a cooling off period) addressed to the owner (privately owned establisment) or to the corporate headquarters. 
Doing nothing at all about bad experiences at restaurants will only serve to allow them to remain in business performing poorly. It also will cast a negative shadow on ALL restaurants and good establishments will unfortunately suffer as well. Also by remaining silent you will force other diners to experience what you have...a totally unacceptable dining experience.

In other words, voice your opinions, be they good or terrible and give us a chance to correct our shortcomings or to praise those who did perform admirably.


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

My pet peeve is when they take one dish at a time off the table, as if there is a dish shortage and an urgent need to get as many dishes back to the kitchen, one at a time.  Why not wait until everyone at the table is done, and then clear the table like most people do at home?  Instead, they interrupt you a half dozen times to ask you about each dish, and usually they are asking too early before you are even done.  Why can't they wait?? What is this urgency?  Flipping tables?  And the #1 pet peeve bogus reason for taking away a dish one at a time: to get it "out of your way."  Why would it be "in my way"?  Am I about to put my head down and nap on the table or put my elbows on the table?  In the way of what?


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## joshua47 (Apr 24, 2010)

Colleen, I find it's more presentable and enjoyable to have a clean table. And often times, I find myself resting my elbows on the table with a drink in hand (or at least easy access to the drink). I particularly love it when they clear the dishes out of my way. 'Cause they really are in my way. Though not for taking a nap! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif I suppose I just dislike the clutter of things I'm not using.

Normally I'll place an empty glass or plate closer to the edge of the table, which usually lets most servers know it's perfectly fine to snatch them on their next pass.


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## titomike (May 20, 2009)

Colleen
I was trained not to do this as it could be considered an affront to the 'host' of the table by placing pressure on his/her guests to hurry up as in your case.
That said...Joshua
I was also taught 'Table Radar' (always knowing what happening on your tables at a glance) is core to good service allowing you to anticipate your diners' needs as in your case.

Discretion is the better part of service...

P.S. Many times I've sent a server onto the floor to hunt out a lazy soy dish/soup bowl 'cos I'm short! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/blushing.gif


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

Josh, I can see your point of view, and you're right, I've done the same with a glass of wine in hand. And when the table is packed with dishes, I can see clearing some of it away.
Titomike, interesting on how you were trained. Also, it helps to know that yes, you may truly be out of a dish in the back of the house! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Here's another....waitresses who flirt with my OH and pretty much ignore me.  We are there to eat as a couple, because we want to spend a good night out just enjoying each others company - guess she's hoping for a good tip.

Or my husband being handed the wine list, but I don't get one.  When the wine arrives, only he is given a taste to accept it or not.  He will quite openly take a sip, then markedly pass it to me for a taste and opinion as well.  Then looks at me without saying a word and I give the opinion hehe - yeah we been together since Adam was a boy.

I know there are a lot of excellent servers out there though and good on you - it is not easy work.  It's a case of one bad apple spoils the whole barrel.  There's places that have been reliably excellent and we re-visit often.  They ask the women for their orders first, as old-fashioned as this may seem, it works for me.


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## titomike (May 20, 2009)

It should always be ladies before gentlemen.

Interestingly, for males on the floor a little gender bias done respectfully can ease things along....if wife is happy the husband usually is too....its a man thing /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif

As for wine service...the bottle should be presented to the diner who ordered it as this is point of sale. If correct the wine is offered to be tasted to agree it is not off...if not it's a done deal!


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## pigeage (May 2, 2010)

How about this? One of my very favorite restaurant skits by Steve Martin (from back when he was funny) . . . Oh, sorry, I just went to the Bahamas for the moment . . .


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## homemadecook (Jan 27, 2010)

I kind of agree with some of your rants here guys. It's really annoying that some servers doesn't know what they are serving when it's supposed to be their job to know everything about the restaurant and the food they are serving. Also I don't like those servers as well who would come to your table more than 3 times just to ask if everything is okay while you're having  a conversation with someone. It is also annoying that some servers are not up to their feet to refill your drinks when they supposed to be doing rounds checking if there are any drinks that needs to be refilled. You would have to call them even twice to ask for a refill.


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

Waitstaff interrupting a conversation I'm having with friends, whether in the middle of my sentence or a friend's, to ask something like "how does everything taste".


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## sherryindy (Apr 17, 2010)

Free Rider said:


> Waitstaff interrupting a conversation I'm having with friends, whether in the middle of my sentence or a friend's, to ask something like "how does everything taste".


Oh, I really HATE that! When I worked as a waitress, I would always wait to be noticed, never just swoop in and interrupt, for any reason... that's so rude and annoying! I found that the customers would notice me right away and make a space in the conversation for me to talk without interrupting them. After all, it was to their benefit!


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## madcowcutlery (Mar 6, 2010)

For me there are a couple of things that don't really make me made, but do bother me a little.  

1. Wait and cleaning staff that will stand just to the side of you or in a corner and stare at you.  There is a Mexican Restaurant I have been to a few times where even the cooks will come out into the dining area and stare at you.

2. A dining area that is kept near the same temperature as the kitchen.  The same restaurant as above, will keep the dining room at a temperature where you will start to sweat the minute you walk in.  Being in south central Texas, the last thing you want after burning up all day is to sit in a restaurant where you have to take turns fanning each other to stay cool.  If I am going somewhere casual to eat BBQ, then I don't mind sitting outside, or inside an old shed to chow down--but sometimes you want a cool place to go to eat and enjoy a good meal. 

3. Not getting my drinks filled.  I am not too demanding on having immediate service, but when you walk by and say you will be right back with some more drinks then I don't see you again for 10 minutes or more--that is a little annoying.

4. Saying you will be right back with the check after you have cleared the table, then not showing back up for 10 minutes or more, or show up after 10 or 15 minutes and say, "oh I was suppose to get your check", and you can smell fresh cigarette smoke on them where they took a break during the busiest time.  I am not against breaks, but I grew up in a restaurant family and I know there are times that you just can't take breaks, and times when you can get a quick one in.  

That's all for my dislikes.

D. Clay


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

madcowcutlery said:


> For me there are a couple of things that don't really make me made, but do bother me a little.
> 
> 1. Wait and cleaning staff that will stand just to the side of you or in a corner and stare at you.


Oh my heck, you brought back a nightmare.

We went to the Provo Red Robin one evening, about 9:30. The place closes at 10:00. We noticed that most of the lights were off, and all the people dining were in one little area by ourselves. There were two other tables occupied when we arrived, but by the time we were served, we were the only ones there, and:

Chairs were upside down on the tables throughout the restaurant, including the ones at our elbows.

Even more lights were turned off.

There was a guy wearing an apron, sitting in a nearby booth, with his chin in his hands and his elbows on his knees, staring at us.

The server asked us about dessert when we were about halfway through dinner, which we declined.

I wrote to the manager, who was appalled. He said that the restaurant should look the same as it does in the middle of the day until the last customer walks out. He promised to follow up, and offered to buy us dinner next time. Apparently, he dropped by the place that evening at about 9:45, and the stuff hit the fan.

We have been by the Red Robin late at night since then, and it has always been bright and inviting.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Which just goes to show why complaining is important when the food and/or service isn't up to expectations.


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## prairiechef (May 22, 2010)

Should never reach that point, if management is doing their job.


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## agchief (May 30, 2010)

Being sat at a table then ignored...no menu, no waiter, not even a "I'll be with you in a sec"...it's humiliating.

Those are the places I tend not to patron.


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## agchief (May 30, 2010)

When I was stationed in Italy...

A friend and I went to a restaurant, at a well known Hotel, to celebrate my birthday. First thing when we sat down at a nice central table, the Gentleman who seated us brought a glass of sparkling wine to each of us. We were so engrossed in our dinner (Very Good) and the bottle of wine we ordered...we lost track of time...until we noticed we were the only table there. The staff was a very discrete distance away and very patiently waiting for us to finish our wine and conversation.

Very civilized way to enjoy an evening. (and no I did not tell them it was my birthday)


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## homemadecook (Jan 27, 2010)

* Asking my order and request twice.

* Bringing my food not the way I ordered it.

* And also, as what Pete said, acting like the customer is wrong.


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## chichi (May 21, 2010)

THE WORST: when one orders a bottle of wine, and they bring the bottle to your table already open.

I come to USA ocasionally on visit to relatives, and when one visits a restaurant waiters have no courtesy at all when they are taking the order, they speak soooooo fast it is hard to understand what they say even when I speak english, they leave the menu and want to take the order in seconds, not giving customers a chance to go thru the menu and take a decision.

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gif kill that waiter that opens the bottle of wine. ja ja ja ja.


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## dc sunshine (Feb 26, 2007)

Spot on Titomike. Keep the woman happy, she'll keep her man happy /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif

This is OT, but I dislike bank managers/ car salespeople etc etc that, when you are sitting down talking a deal - they will mostly look at and speak mostly to the man and virtually ignore the woman. It really annoys me - it's just plain rude. The ones that win points with me speak equally to us both. A sign of respect is what I look for.

And as far as some car mechanics and some tradespeople go, they assume the woman knows nothing and will treat you like a child, and more than likely add to the price over when they are talking to a male. I apologise for this comment to the honest ones out there - you do exist, and you'll get return trade always over someone else. It's just the bad apples that gives the others a bad reputation.

Oh, and when you hold a door open at a shop etc for someone and they don't say thanks....grrrr.

Rant over - just having one of those days /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Agchief said:


> When I was stationed in Italy...
> 
> A friend and I went to a restaurant, at a well known Hotel, to celebrate my birthday. First thing when we sat down at a nice central table, the Gentleman who seated us brought a glass of sparkling wine to each of us. We were so engrossed in our dinner (Very Good) and the bottle of wine we ordered...we lost track of time...until we noticed we were the only table there. The staff was a very discrete distance away and very patiently waiting for us to finish our wine and conversation.
> 
> Very civilized way to enjoy an evening. (and no I did not tell them it was my birthday)


My wife and I went out for a special evening on our anniversary to a local restaurant called Mulboon's. It came highly recommended. We chose a Monday night, as Monday nights are slow in Utah restaurants, and shared the restaurant with one other couple.

The food was wonderful, the ambience was beautiful, and the waiter seduced us into having a nice dessert. We realized at one point that it was very quiet, and that it was past closing time. We finished up and left, apologizing for having kept everybody late. And it really was everybody; the kitchen and wait staff, all still in uniform, were all waiting around the corner, in case we wanted something else. The Guy In Charge, an incredible fellow named Yanni, made profuse and sincere assurances that we had been no problem at all, that they were very happy to have us, and that we were welcome to stay as long as we like whenever we dine there. The others smiled agreement with him.

I absolutely _love_ places like that.


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## llauralight (May 13, 2010)

I have been a server in the past--had my bottom grabbed, been called multiple inappropriate pet names, etc. etc. etc. I have also been the ignored customer and left when not greeted promptly. As a server, greet time was within 1 minute of seating, drink time within 2 minutes, food time within 12 minutes. Anything that went wrong was considered an "opportunity" by the restaurant. The most hilarious "opportunity?" Someone substituted blue cheese for cream cheese in the cheesecake! hahahahaha fortunately it was for a regular, and they comped the meal.


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## pastalover4life (Dec 14, 2009)

The worst thing?  When they act annoyed that they have to be at work and it's obvious they don't want to be working, in other words serious attitude.

Or... clear the table before I'm done eating.  I'm a slower eater than my husband and it happens all the time.  It makes me totally feel rushed.  This happened once at a business meeting and it was very uncomfortable - they had barely finished their own meals!


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## bcycler (Apr 29, 2010)

The worst thing a server can do? Why, fail to boot of course!

But that would be because I spend part of my time working for the IT department /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

I can't stand it when a server sits down at the table to take your order.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

BCycler said:


> The worst thing a server can do? Why, fail to boot of course!
> 
> But that would be because I spend part of my time working for the IT department /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


Oh, man, you got me on that one.

Actually, failing to boot 1% of the time would probably be worse... /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

Chichi said:


> THE WORST: when one orders a bottle of wine, and they bring the bottle to your table already open.


Worser: when one orders a bottle of wine, and they bring the bottle to your table already open, with too much wine missing...


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## beecher (Jun 9, 2010)

Once my husband and I had champagne brunch at a restaurant in Sacramento. The waitress brought a bottle of champagne to the table and opened it (incorrectly) and it started overflowing the bottle.....her response, put her mouth over the bottle! She actually wanted to pour us from the same bottle. We didn't stay.

Another time, we went to a recommended sushi place in San Fransico. We sat at the sushi bar, as usual. The waitress asked if we would like some edamame, so we said 'sure'. I was shocked when the bill came and they charged us $10 for that! If it was an additional cost it should have been pointed out upfront. I will never go back. (btw- the sushi was low grade).

One more (repeated) experience that I MUST mention is when the waitress CLEARLY flirts with the male (obviously thinking a bigger tip is in her future). I handle the finances in our household, so I make a point of letting her know she has been mistaken by taking the bill from her as she hands it to my husband, and deducting from her tip based on her actual service minus how flirtatious she was. Mind you, I have left $100 tips for fabulous service on our anniversary, etc... I tip according to attentiveness. I am a server, and I appreciate great service. I also have been known to speak to the manager about dreadful service. I give credit and criticism for anything outside of average.


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## lolamb10 (Feb 17, 2010)

That is one of the most humorous -- and gross -- things I've ever heard! I'd have left, too....talk about killing an appetite! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif


Beecher said:


> Once my husband and I had champagne brunch at a restaurant in Sacramento. The waitress brought a bottle of champagne to the table and opened it (incorrectly) and it started overflowing the bottle.....her response, put her mouth over the bottle! She actually wanted to pour us from the same bottle. We didn't stay.


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## chrislehrer (Oct 9, 2008)

Not directly a service thing as such, but I'm with you: I HATE finding that someone is serving something both dirt-cheap and so easy to prepare that a monkey could do it -- like edamame in the #1 soybean-producing nation in the world -- and charging a fortune for it. Edamame is annoying, but what about _hiyayakko_? I've seen that for $12 in one sushi place in Boston. You know what it is? Cold tofu cut in cubes and drizzled with a little soy, bonito flakes, and maybe grated ginger. At that price, I assumed they were making their own tofu -- I asked, and of course the server looked at me like I was a maniac. She clearly didn't even know you _could_ make tofu in a restaurant. I almost asked her why it was so stinking expensive, then, but decided I didn't want to know.



> Originally Posted by *Beecher*
> 
> Another time, we went to a recommended sushi place in San Fransico. We sat at the sushi bar, as usual. The waitress asked if we would like some edamame, so we said 'sure'. I was shocked when the bill came and they charged us $10 for that! If it was an additional cost it should have been pointed out upfront. I will never go back. (btw- the sushi was low grade).


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

ChrisLehrer said:


> Not directly a service thing as such, but I'm with you: I HATE finding that someone is serving something both dirt-cheap and so easy to prepare that a monkey could do it -- like edamame in the #1 soybean-producing nation in the world -- and charging a fortune for it. Edamame is annoying, but what about _hiyayakko_? I've seen that for $12 in one sushi place in Boston. You know what it is? Cold tofu cut in cubes and drizzled with a little soy, bonito flakes, and maybe grated ginger. At that price, I assumed they were making their own tofu -- I asked, and of course the server looked at me like I was a maniac. She clearly didn't even know you _could_ make tofu in a restaurant. I almost asked her why it was so stinking expensive, then, but decided I didn't want to know.


How about getting charged for things that should come with the plate? Ordered a hot pastrami sandwich, when it came I asked for some mustard, when the bill came I found I was charged .75 cents for a ramiken of mustard. its not that 75 cents is going to break my bank account but who charges for a side of mustard?


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## ekinoderminator (Jun 8, 2010)

I once purchased a garden burger at Whole Foods - the lettuce inside the burger wasn't properly rinsed and full of dirt - I pointed it out to the guy that made it who responded "dude, what do you think "organic" means?".


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

ChrisLehrer said:


> Not directly a service thing as such, but I'm with you: I HATE finding that someone is serving something both dirt-cheap and so easy to prepare that a monkey could do it -- like edamame in the #1 soybean-producing nation in the world -- and charging a fortune for it. Edamame is annoying, but what about _hiyayakko_? I've seen that for $12 in one sushi place in Boston. You know what it is? Cold tofu cut in cubes and drizzled with a little soy, bonito flakes, and maybe grated ginger. At that price, I assumed they were making their own tofu -- I asked, and of course the server looked at me like I was a maniac. She clearly didn't even know you _could_ make tofu in a restaurant. I almost asked her why it was so stinking expensive, then, but decided I didn't want to know.


Kind of like souffles, they cost about $1 to make but restaurants charge $5+


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

DC Sunshine said:


> Spot on Titomike. Keep the woman happy, she'll keep her man happy /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif
> 
> This is OT, but I dislike bank managers/ car salespeople etc etc that, when you are sitting down talking a deal - they will mostly look at and speak mostly to the man and virtually ignore the woman. It really annoys me - it's just plain rude. The ones that win points with me speak equally to us both. A sign of respect is what I look for.
> 
> ...


I have to disagree with this. I have never experienced this but this is probably because I'm the TypeA personality and husband is TypeB. I ask more questions, and my husband lets me take the lead most of the time whenever dealing with salespeople etc. Funny but waiters always bring the check to me. I must seem like a real ball buster to these folks.

My point is people's attention is directed towards the more engaging person, which has nothing to do with whether you're a man or woman. Try it as an experiment and see what happens. Be one of those people who when they talk people listen.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

ChrisLehrer said:


> Not directly a service thing as such, but I'm with you: I HATE finding that someone is serving something both dirt-cheap and so easy to prepare that a monkey could do it -- like edamame in the #1 soybean-producing nation in the world -- and charging a fortune for it. Edamame is annoying, but what about _hiyayakko_? I've seen that for $12 in one sushi place in Boston. You know what it is? Cold tofu cut in cubes and drizzled with a little soy, bonito flakes, and maybe grated ginger. At that price, I assumed they were making their own tofu -- I asked, and of course the server looked at me like I was a maniac. She clearly didn't even know you _could_ make tofu in a restaurant. I almost asked her why it was so stinking expensive, then, but decided I didn't want to know.


Edamame - someone has to wash it, clean it, steam it, salt it, serve it, and then clean the plate afterwards. If you don't want it don't get it, but realize that most food costs less than what they're charging you for it. Here at a NY diner you'll pay $6 plus tip for 2 eggs, home fries and a side of toast. For what? I can make that at home for a dollar. But at the restaurant at least someone else has to do the clean up.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

In that regard, do you remember Bill Cosby's routine about food when he first did Las Vegas.

He had the restaurant menu in his hand, and was reading from it:

One egg, any style, a dollar thirty five.

A dollar thirty five! Ladies, what do you pay for eggs? 79 cents....and that's for a dozen of them. For a dollar thirty five that egg better have an act. They pick up that silver dome and the egg stands up and does a song and dance number, then lays back down, and I eat him.

But it gets worse. Under that it says,

Two eggs, any style, a dollar sixty five. Hmmmmm. One egg is a dollar thirty five, and the other is only 30 cents more.

I only wanna know one thing: What's wrong with that second egg?


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## gypsy2727 (Mar 9, 2010)

Koukouvagia said:


> I have to disagree with this. I have never experienced this but this is probably because I'm the TypeA personality and husband is TypeB. I ask more questions, and my husband lets me take the lead most of the time whenever dealing with salespeople etc. Funny but waiters always bring the check to me. I must seem like a real ball buster to these folks.
> 
> My point is people's attention is directed towards the more engaging person, which has nothing to do with whether you're a man or woman. Try it as an experiment and see what happens. Be one of those people who when they talk people listen.


Well sometimes my children like to take me out . (Which is a rarity) My daughter is 23 and my son 20 ,both have good jobs and sometimes they like to take mom out! The bill always comes to me and I then insist on paying and well the whole point of our night or day out is out the window!

Ya ...give the bill to the old Gal ...that's it


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

Koukouvagia said:


> I have to disagree with this. I have never experienced this but this is probably because I'm the TypeA personality and husband is TypeB. I ask more questions, and my husband lets me take the lead most of the time whenever dealing with salespeople etc. Funny but waiters always bring the check to me. I must seem like a real ball buster to these folks.
> 
> My point is people's attention is directed towards the more engaging person, which has nothing to do with whether you're a man or woman. Try it as an experiment and see what happens. Be one of those people who when they talk people listen.


When you're a female, you have to "seem like a real ball buster". If you don't, they'll focus on the male. Try an experiment of your own. Be equally as engaging as the male, not more so. Don't outdo the male with your ball busting behavior and see what happens. You'll be ignored. I've done this experiment and it is amazing. I myself have had to become a "ball buster".


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Free Rider said:


> When you're a female, you have to "seem like a real ball buster". If you don't, they'll focus on the male. Try an experiment of your own. Be equally as engaging as the male, not more so. Don't outdo the male with your ball busting behavior and see what happens. You'll be ignored. I've done this experiment and it is amazing. I myself have had to become a "ball buster".


I'm not saying that I AM a ball buster, just that I might seem like one because I can be assertive. Not rude, not obnoxious, just in charge. And I don't do it on purpose, it's just my personality, and it happens to be in my husband's personality to be really laid back that's all.

I have tried this experiment, not for my sake but to try to get my hubby to be a little more assertive. And I still don't get ignored. I'm a hard lady to ignore /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif.


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

I see your in New York...you from a 212 area code?/img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Nope, we have several area codes in ny.


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## jkovats (Jun 14, 2010)

Disappearing for too long...Nothing like an empty drink and waiting for a refill.

Travel insurance


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## chrislehrer (Oct 9, 2008)

Hey, a little while back, I talked about the horrendous food served at a local "family restaurant" place my kids generally like -- burnt mac-and-cheese, really burnt hotdog, like that.

So I filled in their online customer service thingy, and I just got a letter. It was actually personally written, including some significant phrasing that indicated this wasn't a form letter -- at least, not all of it was. They assured me that the folks in charge at that restaurant would hear all about this, in no uncertain terms, and that they agreed that the food served was totally unacceptable by my description. And they included a fairly decent gift card as a way of thanking me and asking me to continue to patronize this joint.

Since I wasn't personally offended by the whole thing, that's great with me. I think I made it clear, in their survey, that the problem was 100% obvious: the manager was covering someone on short-order, didn't know what the heck he was doing, and was screwing everything up for everyone -- and being rude about it, too. So long as the people reading the survey got that message, and from their remarks I think they did, I'll be happy to go back. Hey, how long can the short-order guy be out sick, right?

Besides, free food is free food, especially when it's little-kid-friendly and includes ice cream....


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## chrislehrer (Oct 9, 2008)

Agchief said:


> Being sat at a table then ignored...no menu, no waiter, not even a "I'll be with you in a sec"...it's humiliating.
> 
> Those are the places I tend not to patron.


I went to a restaurant about a year back, for lunch. Small place in Chicago, maybe 25 tables, mostly for 2. Place was deserted: no customers, manager working at the calculator at a side table, couple cooks f'ing around in the back trying to look busy. I was directed to a table and sat. 15 minutes later, despite occasional attempts to attract attention, I still had no menu. Nobody had done anything. I got up and walked out. As I left, the manager looked at me, and asked, "something wrong?" I said, "um, yes, I've been here 15 minutes and not seen a menu, so I think I'll try the place next door instead."

Stop a sec. What should the guy have said or done? (How did Encyclopedia Brown know?.....)

Guy says, "OK" and goes back to his calculator.

I had a nice lunch next door. Weird, that whole scene. Just weird.


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

Not really the servers fault but yesterday I ended up waiting 30minutes for a starter...I was the only customer there.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Chris, sadly that sort of thing goes on even in "fine dining" establishments. Which helps explain why so much of today's wait staff does such a poor job. If the managers don't care, why should the servers?

One example: While vacational on OBX the room clerk suggested we try a particular restaurant where her husband was the chef. Why not?

We get there, and are seated. And wait. And wait. Another party comes in and is seated. Pretty soon they have their drinks. We haven't even been asked for a drink order. At that point we get up to leave.

The manager and hostess are chatting away out front, and the manager says, "is something wrong?" I said, "yeah, we don't like being invisible!" He just kind of shrugs and goes back to his conversation.

I'd bet you, though, if asked why business is so bad lately he'd offer every excuse in the book from the weather to the economy. Surely it wouldn't be because they treat customers like, eh, flotsom.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Zane: Explain to me how it's not the server's fault? There is no excuse for letting a customer sit unattended that long.


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

KYHeirloomer said:


> Zane: Explain to me how it's not the server's fault? There is no excuse for letting a customer sit unattended that long.


I blame it more on the chefs inability to make the food in a timely manner. The server herself kept refilling my drink and apologizing. I just don't know why it took a chef 30 minutes to make fried calamari when he literally had no other tickets to tend to. And oddly enough my actual meal arrived 10minutes after my starter.


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## patrick (Feb 16, 2010)

I cut servers a lot of slack.  I know some things are just small matters of preference -- some people hate to be interrupted and asked if everything's okay but I like it because I don't like flagging down servers -- so what makes me most comfortable might annoy someone else.  And since I've got an idea of how a professional kitchen works, I know that not everything that makes a server look bad is actually his fault. 

That said, when it's clear that the waiter is the only one who could have made the mistake, it bugs me to no end.  And with everything, the cover-up is worse than the crime:

I was at a decent greek place that had a hummus platter as an appetizer -- you pick three kinds of hummus from their list of eight or so varieties and they put it on a platter with some pita.  If I'm getting an appetizer, I want it to come well before the meal so I try to order it when I order drinks and I did.  I noticed the waiter wasn't writing the order down, which is no biggy because many servers have a great memory, but I have a friend who works at this place and know that they use a paper ticket system; maybe he's going to write it down back in the kitchen or something.  In any event the drinks come out right away and then, about 10 minutes later, he comes back out with notepad in hand "just to make sure" he got out hummus selection right.  He said something unintelligible about the computer being down (no computer) and the chef being unsure of something, but I saw him hang the ticket in the kitchen when he walked back.

Weak service is annoying in and of itself but the transparent lies they toss off in the hopes that your tip won't reflect their errors... to me that's someone who is trying to take advantage and I really don't care for it.  If he said "I forgot to hang your ticket, do you still want an appetizer" would have been infinitely better.

Also, I once got tea sloshed on my head by a server who was walking behind me.  I think spilling things on a diner is the best way to ruin someone's night as a server.


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## twoam (Jun 18, 2010)

Server telling you that you are wrong and that the filet that was just brought to your table is med rare not med well like you tell them. Even after you tell them politely that you work in a kitchen and can tell the difference between a med rare and a med well. Last I checked the rule was still 'The customer is always right...even if they are dead wrong.'


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Just today a friend and I went to lunch.  She really wanted to go to a placed called Boulder Creek which seems to be a chain steak house resembling Outback so I thought how bad can it be?  I ordered a house salad with ranch dressing and a ribeye steak cooked medium rare.  The salad came out wilted.  I didn't want to be a nuissance so I discarded the bits that looked less than fresh and ate what I could.  The steak came out and it was a slab of beef, the cut was unrecognizable.  It kind of looked like a strip steak but butchered very awkwardly so that it was very vertically thick on one end and tapered thin on the other end.  At this I spoke up.  I didn't recognize it as a ribeye steak which has a tenderloin center and a fattier band that wraps around the outside.  Furthermore it was cooked medium well and the thin part was well done so I sent it back.  I had to!  The waitress took it back and said that the chef told her that it WAS a ribeye but it was an end cut that's why it looked like a strip.  I didn't know what to say to that but when I order steaks very rarely and when I do I want a proper cut of meat.  They brought out a steak that looked like a ribeye but it was cooked rare so I ate a bit of it and then packed the rest home.  Very disappointing.  No manager came out to apologize, I didn't even get a refill on my soda.

The bread was like a foam sponge, no flavor.  Ironically the ranch dressing was excellent, too bad I didn't have any crisp fresh lettuce to eat it with.


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

Koukouvagia said:


> Just today a friend and I went to lunch. She really wanted to go to a placed called Boulder Creek which seems to be a chain steak house resembling Outback so I thought how bad can it be? I ordered a house salad with ranch dressing and a ribeye steak cooked medium rare. The salad came out wilted. I didn't want to be a nuissance so I discarded the bits that looked less than fresh and ate what I could. The steak came out and it was a slab of beef, the cut was unrecognizable. It kind of looked like a strip steak but butchered very awkwardly so that it was very vertically thick on one end and tapered thin on the other end. At this I spoke up. I didn't recognize it as a ribeye steak which has a tenderloin center and a fattier band that wraps around the outside. Furthermore it was cooked medium well and the thin part was well done so I sent it back. I had to! The waitress took it back and said that the chef told her that it WAS a ribeye but it was an end cut that's why it looked like a strip. I didn't know what to say to that but when I order steaks very rarely and when I do I want a proper cut of meat. They brought out a steak that looked like a ribeye but it was cooked rare so I ate a bit of it and then packed the rest home. Very disappointing. No manager came out to apologize, I didn't even get a refill on my soda.
> 
> The bread was like a foam sponge, no flavor. Ironically the ranch dressing was excellent, too bad I didn't have any crisp fresh lettuce to eat it with.


Sounds like it should be on Ramsay's 'Kitchen Nightmares'


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## jkovats (Jun 14, 2010)

Ramsay's Kitchen nightmares...awesome show


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

jkovats said:


> Ramsay's Kitchen nightmares...awesome show


It certainly has its moments. Just mention pesto sauce and anybody who has seen a certain episode will shudder.


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## cheffjeff (Jun 22, 2010)

I have had a pet peeve for years with servers who call everyone at the table "you guys". As in "Are you guys ready to order?" That is completely unprofessional if the table is mixed gender.  Why not instead say "Are you gals ready to order?" How do think that would go over. I beat on the servers at my restaurants for years about this. I once told my dining room manager to enforce this when I wasn't around, and the next day I heard him say to a couple, "Where would you guys like to sit?" Arrrrrgh.


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

cheffjeff said:


> I have had a pet peeve for years with servers who call everyone at the table "you guys". As in "Are you guys ready to order?" That is completely unprofessional if the table is mixed gender. Why not instead say "Are you gals ready to order?" How do think that would go over. I beat on the servers at my restaurants for years about this. I once told my dining room manager to enforce this when I wasn't around, and the next day I heard him say to a couple, "Where would you guys like to sit?" Arrrrrgh.


"Guys" is more of a casual saying that implies everyone in the group, not really to insinuate that everyone is an actual "guy".


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## cheffjeff (Jun 22, 2010)

Maybe to you it is but to older women it isn't. My mother hates it when someone refers to her as part of "you guys".  I know what you're saying but its a new usage of the term "guys" that a lot of older people don't accept.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

While I agree with Zane, in general, I'm also appreciate ChefJeff's point.

The problem is that you can never please everyone. In a casual dining environment, "you guys" would probably be acceptible to 90% of the patrons. But that doesn't mean we should run roughshod over that other 10%. On the other hand, I don't think "you guys" would ever be acceptible in a fine-dining establishment.

The only real solution is to keep things generic. Instead of "are you guys ready to order," a simple, "ready to order?" might be more acceptible.

Sometimes it's geographic rather than age group. Down here, the terms "sugar" and "honey" used by a server, especially an older female one, are perfectly acceptible. But I've got a friend who climbs the wall when a server does that.

It works the other way, too. Courtesy is not the same thing everywhere. I remember one time in Maine, for instance, when my server went ape because I said "yes maam." "I'm not that old that you have to be maaming me," she said in a rather strident manner. "Uh, huh," I thought, "maybe b***h would have been better."


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## beecher (Jun 9, 2010)

LOL! That would have been appropriate!

=)


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## dmdaniel (Apr 17, 2010)

When the server is clearing tables of other patrons meals and serving fresh meals with the same disgusting hands.  If I wanted the other 25 tables to get their slobber on my plate I would have asked them all to lick it for me.


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## rcanderson (Jun 27, 2010)

I would not have believed this one until it happened to me a while back.

I was in Maui, Hawaii and wanted to meet with another chef at a more neutral location to discuss merging our businesses together. We decided to meet for lunch at a local "mexican food" (their food could hardly be considered an improvement on Taco Bell) restaurant that neither of us had tried previously.

After our meal we were sitting and discussing the merger while we were snacking on the fresh tortilla chips and salsa that was placed on our table.

The server came over and started clearing our table and to my surprise, just as I dipped a chip in the salsa and started raising it to my mouth, the server took the chips and salsa away. She did not ask if we were finished with the chips and salsa as would be normal protocol, she just snatched them up as I was trying to partake of them.

I had a bad flashback of an old movie I saw years ago where an asian woman in a restaurant came to the table and as she started clearing it said "_you done, you go now_", as the gentleman was trying to finish his meal.

This incident was the first time that I have ever not left a tip for a server.


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## Guest (Jul 30, 2010)

My fiance and I went to a new place which had some good reviews from friends. We waited about 20 minutes for them to take our order and she took our drink orders and promptly disappeared. She came back 10 minutes later, got our orders messed up, answered immediately that they didn't have squid. We waited an hour for our food and it came with back, with an extra order of squid, drinks arrived AFTER the food, and when we told her that we didn't order the extra, she just went blank and said, "Well, it's already cooked." And we had to wait for the check for 20 more minutes. All in all, a waste of time that I'll never get back. Can't imagine why we stayed.


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## waynus (May 29, 2010)

Constantly refilling glasses with wine before they are empty annoys me. In Australia we have random breath testing and if you are driving the last thing you want is someone constantly topping up your class so that you have no idea how much you have consumed. On the other hand one local restaurant the wine waiter actually asked if one of our party was a designated driver. When i said yes I was given complimentary non alcoholic drinks for the whole meal.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Zane said:


> "Guys" is more of a casual saying that implies everyone in the group, not really to insinuate that everyone is an actual "guy".


"Guys" is a casual way of implying that the server/host is too lazy or too ignorant to use teminology that is respectful of his/her guests. If the party is a group of casual 20 somethings, then "guys" may be appropriate or at the very least, not offensive. If it's my husband and me or a group of mature women, guys is just plain lazy. It's a server/host's job to read the customer; hard and fast rules are fine, but one would expect them to be able to figure out how to address a guest appropriately. It's just as easy, as KY said, to say to a group, " is everyone finished" as it is to say, "are you guys finished".


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## sheena0503 (Aug 1, 2010)

For sure asking if I need change.  I was a waitress for years and never once asked that!


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## sheena0503 (Aug 1, 2010)

For sure asking if I need change.  I was a waitress for years and never once asked that!


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## semperfemme (Jul 25, 2010)

I've been a server off and on for a few years at a time. Had my first gig at 18 and, finally knew at 24, that I could never do it again. That said, I tend to be very very lenient with waitstaff. I know they're tired, a lot of them are in school, and if the restaurant is new- some of them weren't even supposed to be there that day but showed up under compulsion. That said, not refilling my drinks in a timely fashion (I'm nursing an empty glass for 15 minutes) and taking forever to bring me ramekins I ordered ( I will ask for all of this in my original order because I don't want to give wait staff the run around), are sure fire ways to raise my ire.

I don't expect waitstaff to kiss my bum. I'm there to get food, maybe an adult beverage or two and hang out with friends. I don't like overly chummy waitstaff. I don't need you to be my best mate, just bring me water and my Mojito and go do something. *shrug*

That's on the eating end, on the kitchen end, I hate it when servers come in 2 minutes after they've rung in an order to try to "move things along" when there are 6-7 tickets before theirs. I also don't like when they try to get us to speed up because THEY forgot to put in an order on time.

We have a server who is so incompetent it's a wonder she can use the bathroom alone. Her table had been there, and ordered, AT NOON. She didn't put the order in until 12:45, then had the nerve to come back to the kitchen and tell us to speed up and act as if there was a computer malfunction. The owner had to reprint the ticket and saw her screw up. No she wasn't fired, but every time she comes back there I just look at her like "WTF are you doing back here?" Considering she NEVER picks up her food on time, always feels compelled to stop kitchen staff from doing their jobs to help her look for things, and can't ever seem to have ONE SERVICE without screwing up...I'm surprised she still works there.

*exhales deep breath* But this is the owner's first restaurant, so they sometimes follow "we'll see how this plays out" route.

I know serving is a tough job and it's hard, but it's not THAT hard. Seriously.


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

This seems to be common but it bugs me a lot...servers who take you drink order less then two minutes after you sit down. Personally, I like to take time to look at the drink menu so I can see if I want a soft drink (and if so what they have) or a nice alcoholic drink.

Also dislike when the server puts the tickets in so fast that the main course comes either while I'm eating my starter or right after I took my last bite.  When this happens its ironic that they take a long time to send the bill to my table.


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## sockpuppetdoug (Jun 22, 2010)

The worst thing a server can do?  From the customer side I would say it's speaking to a member of the table in condescending fashion.  Ironically enough this has never happened to me at a neighborhood restaurant, cheapo joint or bar - only in upscale restaurants.  

Example: a lady friend I was with ordered risotto and a glass of wine.  Upon taking the wine selection he raised his eyebrows and said, "are you sure?".  It's not just what he said but how he said it.  Pure snobbery.  It's been long enough that I don't remember the wine or the specific risotto dish but it shouldn't matter:

A) Everyone has a different palette

B) Maybe she was more interested in trying that particular wine and less interested in marrying it with her dinner.  Who knows?

C) Even if it wasn't the best selection for her she'll know better next time.  But if she wanted help with her selection she would have asked.

In either event, I think it's the waitstaff's job to provide service and give advice WHEN NEEDED.  I was appalled and embarrassed to take her to a place only to have her put in a degrading position.  I also wonder what he would have said if I had ordered the same thing.

Other than that, I cut the waitstaff a lot of slack just like a lot of the people here.  They work really hard and are stuck between the scylla and charybdis until they clock out.  But if there's any servers out there:  please be familiar enough with the menu items to offer solid advice - patrons *really* appreciate the help.  But please don't question anyones choices.  Especially in front of other people.  That's just common sense.

+D.


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## auntieemma (Aug 2, 2010)

I'm usually pretty easy going.  I can stand the occasional irritation if a waiter/waitress slips up.  But a few things come to mind of times when I wasn't so forgiving:

My sister and I both ordered our eggs over medium.  When the waitress  brought them the whites were far to runny for our taste and we called her attention to it.  As she took the plates she told us that she 'didn't like snot all over her plate either.'   Well, there went the appetite and we paid for our coffee and left.

Dining at a highly recommended steak house.  One of our group didn't get any sour cream or butter for her potato and the waiter actually went over to another table that had not been cleared yet and got the items from another diners plate.  None of us could believe our eyes, and when he brought them to our table another of our group asked if he would go back and see if they had finished their roll.  We dined free that night.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

AuntieEmma said:


> Dining at a highly recommended steak house. One of our group didn't get any sour cream or butter for her potato and the waiter actually went over to another table that had not been cleared yet and got the items from another diners plate.


Toto, I don't think we're in the civilized world any more...

Ugh! This reminds me of the commercial where the server uses the edge of the table to scrape the unwanted mayo off a sandwich. But this is not surprising.


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## rpmcmurphy (Jan 8, 2008)

I've probably posted in this thread before, and probably posted the same thing...but writing a suggested tip out on the ticket, by hand.

15%=xxx

20%=xxx

what I'll do in that situation is count out the 15% minus exactly 1 penny.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

RPMcMurphy said:


> I've probably posted in this thread before, and probably posted the same thing...but writing a suggested tip out on the ticket, by hand.
> 
> 15%=xxx
> 
> ...


I like your style.

What would be even worse than listing the suggestions would be cheating at the calculations. That is, what they listed as 15% would actually be, say, 17%.


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2010)

I absolutely hate it when a server:

1. smells like cigarettes or worse, cigarettes covered up with perfume

2. touches my food

3. keeps harassing me about how my food is or if I need anything else

4. chews gum

5. badmouths the cooks (happens way too often!)

6. Doesn't know about the food he/she is serving and has to keep going back to the kitchen to ask questions.


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## paulaspencer (Aug 20, 2010)

Body odor.

Condescending attitude.

Poor math skills.

Argumentative.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

I hate when they say ""NO PROBLEM''  Nothing pertaining to the meal or service should be a problem, otherwise the tip may be a problem.


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## chefvillanueva (Aug 16, 2010)

Not knowing the menu........ This is the worst, it really sets the tone for the rest of the dinner expirence.


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## titomike (May 20, 2009)

Same on our end...

_Not knowing the menu........ This is the worst, it really sets the tone for the rest of the dinner_...service!

I suppose... say practically anything in the heat of battle that isn't minimalist code with a pre-determined solution for whatever the _heck_ it is they want...


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Last night my husband and I stopped for a late dinner at a very popular diner that is part of a NH chain of restaurants ranging from high end dining to a couple of casual theme diners (that aren't cheap, by any stretch of the imagination). We put the card on the bill to wait for the server and she came by and set the dirty dishes she was carrying on the end of our table while she ran out card.

This wasn't the end of the world, it was late and the restaurant was closing, and while the service had been fine up until this point, it certainly decreased her tip. It made me laugh as someone had mentioned above about the server taking the sour cream from a dirty table.

As an unbelievably surly waitress once snapped at me after some particularly bad service, "It's a restaurant. Stuff happens."/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif


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## zane (Apr 6, 2010)

lentil said:


> "It's a restaurant. Stuff happens."/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif


Isn't that the understatement of a life time...though no need for her to be that rude.


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## yummitummi (Aug 9, 2010)

I went to a nice restaurant in town. As a vegetarian, I usually ask for a description of the soups, salads, and specials... A waiter told me they had a delicious tomato soup on the menu that day. I did not tell him I was a vegetarian but he told me it was made with some cream and tomato, very simple ingredients. When the dish came out it was a pale yellow color. I asked the waiter and he said that if I try it I will like it. It was definitely POTATO soup and had large chunks of bacon embedded into it. I was horrified... I understand it was a mistake, but he was so set on selling a soup he did not even know the menu.


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## bhtoad (Jul 14, 2010)

Can't handle surly/condescending staff.  Went to a nice wine bar on Newbury St. in Boston that claims to have very knowledgeable staff, for a celebratory drink before going to dinner.  We ordered a bottle of wine and when it was opened and tasted, we found it to be corked.  Without even looking at, smelling, or tasting the wine, the bartender/wine expert told us "Pinot is supposed to taste like that".  Totally blew us away.  One of our party was a wine afficionado, another had worked through college as a fine dining waiter (and this night was his graduation dinner we were taking him out for...).  Not a group of people new to wine or the occasional corked bottle.  All we wanted was a different bottle of the same wine or something comparable.  We were refused.  As we got up to walk out, we overheard the bartender telling the manager we were unreasonable (she used more words that aren't family friendly...).  Couldn't believe it.  Never been back.  Never will.  And I'm not shy about telling friends to avoid the place.

What ever happened to the old business axiom, "The customer is always right"?


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

BHToad said:


> ...What ever happened to the old business axiom, "The customer is always right"?


The customer may not always be "right", but the customer is NEVER "wrong"!


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

Now, see, she could have gotten some plastic wrap and stuffed it in the bottle and had it all fixed in a jiffy. How much does plastic wrap cost?


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## gobblygook (Aug 26, 2010)

It's odd that I want someone asking me for my drink order before my butt hits the chair. I'm thirsty! Of course, I am eating at joints that are $10-15 per person, not upscale stuff. Also, getting the food out quickly is fine with me. They can drop the "check" off as soon as I place my order for all I care. I don't order alcohol and I don't eat desserts. 



Zane said:


> This seems to be common but it bugs me a lot...servers who take you drink order less then two minutes after you sit down. Personally, I like to take time to look at the drink menu so I can see if I want a soft drink (and if so what they have) or a nice alcoholic drink.
> 
> Also dislike when the server puts the tickets in so fast that the main course comes either while I'm eating my starter or right after I took my last bite. When this happens its ironic that they take a long time to send the bill to my table.


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## babytiger (Oct 14, 2010)

Being rush to pay the bill! For my 21st birthday (quite a while ago), my mom and my sister took me to a very nice restaurant. It was a well known fine dining place. We're all dressed up. The meal was fine until toward the end. Shortly after we received our desserts, the bill arrived. We just started on our desserts so we set it aside for when we're done. During the time we're having our desserts, our server came over TWICE to see if we're paid yet. That really, really pissed me off. If we're at a hole-in-the-wall and there were people waiting for tables, maybe I understand. But at a fine dining place and it was half full and it was only about 9pm, definitely not. When we finally did pay, he received a very small tip. As we walked out the restaurant, the server came up to us to ask if the tip was correct! I told him yes and just walked away.


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## karendf (Jul 2, 2008)

Perhaps, this will sound weird, but I can't stand super chipper waiters or waitresses like the kind at Red Lobster or Italiannis...I'm not their best friend, I just want to eat.  I actually would give them less of a tip for being such busybodies!

I could never do that work!  Yes I agree on the pepper and the parmesan cheese...


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

RPMcMurphy said:


> I've probably posted in this thread before, and probably posted the same thing...but writing a suggested tip out on the ticket, by hand.
> 
> 15%=xxx
> 
> ...


Lol, I love it when they skip 15% and put:

18%=

20%=

25%=


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

HookEmAndCookEm said:


> I like your style.
> 
> What would be even worse than listing the suggestions would be cheating at the calculations. That is, what they listed as 15% would actually be, say, 17%.


They probably calculate their percentage including tax.


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

Serving the dishes at different times, like minutes apart
Not refilling drinks
having to ask them for something more than once
them not writing down the order, and then screwing it up
not listening to complaints
I was at an Italian chain restaurant in Burlington, ON once, and the waitress got really offended when I stated the pasta was overcooked, and she said "their chef boiled that pasta himself in the morning!!" and it would not be possible to cook any more, because they only do large batches in the morning.

The manager came over and confirmed that is their policy to precook already dried pasta in the morning (this is not fresh pasta), and then "blanch it" when the customer orders it., he said he checked all the different kinds of pasta they precooked, and that it was all overcooked (probably something he should have checked in the morning instead of 7pm at night), he recommended I ordered the fettecini which he said was the best of the worst.

I'm not sure what culinary school he want to where the used the word blanch with pasta.

They still charged full price for the pasta, and didn't even give a complimentary desert or anything.

I felt a looney (Canadian dollar coin) was an appropriate tip in this case.


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

Abe,

No. 1 on your list is almost certainly the kitchen's fault, and not the server's.  It usually means something was forgotten or wrecked and needed re-firing.  The server's choice is to bring what's ready to your table while one diner waits, or allow everything to linger under the heat lamps while the order is filled.  If you were in her shoes, which would you choose? 

Also, I understand how mad you were at that Italian restaurant.  It comes down to the same thing. 

Stiffing the waitress for something completely out of her control is not the right thing to do.  At least not in my opinion.  

BDL


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

No. 1 on your list is almost certainly the kitchen's fault, and not the server's.  It usually means something was forgotten or wrecked and needed re-firing.  The server's choice is to bring what's ready to your table while one diner waits, or allow everything to linger under the heat lamps while the order is filled.  If you were in her shoes, which would you choose? 

>>This was at a hotel and there attitude kinda seemed like, look we know were are going to get guest from the hotel to eat here, no matter what we server or how we serve it, so we are just going to do it the way we want to. 

Stiffing the waitress for something completely out of her control is not the right thing to do.  At least not in my opinion.

>>She got a low tip due to her attitude, and not adjusting the bill accordingly for the poor food.  I feel its the wait person's job to address such issues with their management, and if they don't they will be tipped accordingly.  If you whole teams is saying, hey I'm getting half the tips I'm suppose to, because some bozo boils the hell out of the paste in the morning, and then it gets cooked again on top of that, you'd think the management would at least make sure the bozo slightly under cooks the pasta, or make it to order like they should be doing.


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## tylerm713 (Aug 6, 2010)

Probably the thing that irks me the most is when a waiter doesn't know the menu or understand the food. As a customer, I expect a waiter to know the menu inside and out, understand the preparation of each dish, and be able to answer any questions I have. With that said, if I have a difficult question and they just don't know, then by all means go ask someone in the kitchen. But never lie to me or make something up. That happened to me last summer at a fairly reputable restaurant. I ordered a steak that came with a crawfish cream sauce (on the menu it essentially said steak and etouffee) so I asked if it came on the side or if the steak was topped with it. The waiter informed me that it was served separately. Since I prefer my steak on the plain said, I said that was good because that's the way I wanted it. When it came out, the steak was doused in sauce. When I asked the waiter, he said "Oh I guess it doesn't come on the side, sorry", and turned and walked off. I was furious that he 1) obviously didn't know the menu, 2) didn't clarify on the order that I wanted the sauce on the side, and 3) didn't seem to care that my order wasn't the way I wanted it. His tip took a bit of a hit from that one. I think I may have given him 10%, which is about as low as I will tip unless something catastrophic happens (taking food off of a dirty table).


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

tylerm713 said:


> His tip took a bit of a hit from that one. I think I may have given him 10%, which is about as low as I will tip unless something catastrophic happens (taking food off of a dirty table).


You'd be surprised how fast they learn from that. 10% is very generous in that case, I would have left like 5% or less if they didn't bring me a new one.


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## Guest (Oct 22, 2010)

ohhh i hate that so much


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## gobblygook (Aug 26, 2010)

My favorite server "mistake" was after my food arrived, and I was eating it, the server came back and asked verbatim "is that any good".  I was so humored I couldn't get upset.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_No. 1 on your list is almost certainly the kitchen's fault, and not the server's. _

Not necessarily, Boar. We've all seen situations where part of an order remains sitting in the pass after the rest has been delivered. That's certainly not the kitchen's fault.

That aside, I'm a little hardnosed about things like that. If part of the order is going to be late, because the kitchen screwed up, I expect the server to at least tell me; "Sorry, sir, the prime rib will be just a little longer."

Funny thing is I didn't read Abe's post the way you did. You took it to mean three of us get served while the fourth waits. I read it as bringing me part of my meal, and then waiting for the rest. That's happened to me more than once, through the years, and usually entails waiting on the protein. No doubt the kitchen screwed something up, in that regard. But it's ridiculous to be served a plate of sides while waiting on the main dish.

On the other hand, I hate it when the kitchen knowingly sends out a bad product, leaving the server to take the heat. Example: We were in a casual dining place for lunch the other day. Friend Wife had a Philly Cheesesteak, and the bun was burned on one side. It was obvious the kitchen had plated it specifically angled so that the burned spot was hidden.

Our server immediately apologized, told us he'd get it replaced, and did so. Along with telling us, as he served the new one, that her lunch was on them.

But that takes us into the area of good service, which is the topic of another thread.


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## espetosardine (Oct 13, 2010)

If you want to feel what is to get really mad at a server, go to Spain to a Restaurant, and ask the waiter to take the food back because you don't like it /img/vbsmilies/smilies//smile.gif

Here in USA I get mad if they are not friendly and keep forgetting things , like a spoon for my baby, the glass of water and that kind of things..


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## patrick (Feb 16, 2010)

Two weeks ago I was at a resort for a wedding. It was absurdly expensive -- breakfast cost $90 for two people (eggs, potatoes, OJ and coffee). That afternoon I went to a different restaurant in the same resort for lunch. I asked the waiter if the pasta was homemade, was told it was, and then learned upon tasting the first tortellini that it certainly was not. For the first time in my life, I sent my plate back.

I asked to see the menu again and insisted I would not pay for that dish.

I really felt like a jerk but with the price tag that stuff carried, I wasn't going to pay for it. The salmon that I got instead was _fantastic_! And, to this place's credit, a manager came out to speak to me and apologized that I hadn't been told it was "prepared by an independent kitchen." He comped the table's meals -- me and my friend -- and was effusively apologetic, even complimentary to me for tasting the difference.

I always feel a little out of place at swanky restaurants, and a joint that charges that kind of money is definitely not in my normal orbit. I can certainly see that their customer service is a notch above most places, but what gets me is why the guy told me the stuff was made in-house. Maybe he didn't know, maybe he thought it was an indictment of the food, etc. All I wanted to know was whether this would be the best dish I could get for my money -- and at the prices on that menu, everyone should ask. Instead of being straight up and getting my thanks and a decent tip he cost his kitchen a little over $120 with his statement and put me in a thoroughly uncomfortable position. I tipped based on the bill but only at 15%... probably more than he deserved.


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

Patrick said:


> I tipped based on the bill but only at 15%... probably more than he deserved.


Just because the food is over priced, that doesn't mean you have to over tip. In those cases I feel less than 15% is more than appropriate.

For instances on the eggs, potatoes, OJ and coffee I wouldn't have left more than $6-8.


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## patrick (Feb 16, 2010)

abefroman said:


> Just because the food is over priced, that doesn't mean you have to over tip. In those cases I feel less than 15% is more than appropriate.
> 
> For instances on the eggs, potatoes, OJ and coffee I wouldn't have left more than $6-8.


The cheap half of me agrees but logically I can't concur:

A server in a five-star place carries a plate just like a server in a greasy spoon. In that same vein, the guy who made my eggs and potatoes _just_ made my eggs and potatoes, like a cook in a greasy spoon. I think it's inconsistent to be willing to pay for one and not the other.


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

Patrick said:


> The cheap half of me agrees but logically I can't concur:
> 
> A server in a five-star place carries a plate just like a server in a greasy spoon. In that same vein, the guy who made my eggs and potatoes _just_ made my eggs and potatoes, like a cook in a greasy spoon. I think it's inconsistent to be willing to pay for one and not the other.


There's a difference here, I said "over priced" and not "expensively priced".

Now I only do this if its a certain situation, like if your at a resort, and can't really eat anywhere else (and the food isn't anything spectacular), then you don't have to over tip. Or if you are in some touristy area where every restaurant is over priced (with the same mediocre food you'd pay half price for anywhere else), again, no reason to over tip. But if its in a normal area, and I choose to eat at the more expensive place (and get better food), then I would tip the normal 15-20% on the higher bill.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Abe, I couln't disagree with you more. You are tipping (or should be) based on the quality of the service, not the quality of the food (except as how the two actually relate).

Logically, tips should not be indexed to the price of the meal. But in the real world of restaurant dining they are. I guarantee, in those circumstances, that the server would see you as a cheapskate at best. And would not willingly serve you at all the next day, and, if forced to, would provide less than stellar service.

_There's a difference here, I said "over priced" and not "expensively priced"._

Exactly how do you differentiate between those two?


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

KYHeirloomer said:


> _There's a difference here, I said "over priced" and not "expensively priced"._
> Exactly how do you differentiate between those two?


Over priced would be $90 for scrambled eggs and country potatoes. = $6-8 tip

Expensively priced would be $90 for eggs benedict with beluga caviar. = $14-18 tip

I'm not going to give a place $18 gratuity just because they want to charge $90 for scrambled eggs.

This was the case at hotel I stayed at in Miami this summer. It was like $50 for french toast, side of fruit and coffee for 2 people. I tipped the guy $4, he was kind of obnoxious about it, and highlighted "gratuity not included" on the receipt. I'm guessing he doesn't get the full 20% from a lot of people.


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## tylerm713 (Aug 6, 2010)

When I leave a tip, I always think to myself, "If I was the waiter, provided this level of service, and this was my only job, what's the minimum I would be happy with." Then I try to tip accordingly.


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## gobblygook (Aug 26, 2010)

If you asked if it was homemade, that word gets overused and the definition is certainly open to interpretation. Heck, every pasta on the shelf at the grocery store was "prepared by an independent kitchen", whatever that means. However, you said you asked if it was homemade and then say that the server told you it was made in-house, which aren't the same thing. Of course, his response could have been "yes, we make our own pasta in-house", but I didn't get that from your post. Is your issue that it was previously frozen or something else? I certainly cannot understand how simply by tasting a piece of pasta, you can know that it wasn't made in-house. It may be obviously made from dry pasta or frozen pasta, but I'm unaware of tortellini that can be bought "dried", so I'm really curious how you made your determination. If it was that the pasta had been frozen, even pasta made in-house could have been frozen and made only once/week, for instance. Despite what it sounds like, I'm not picking at you. I'm trying to understand as I will be serving pastas and want to understand the expectations of my customers as well as their perceptions.



Patrick said:


> I asked the waiter if the pasta was homemade, was told it was, and then learned upon tasting the first tortellini that it certainly was not. For the first time in my life, I sent my plate back.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...


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## lvngwell (Nov 4, 2010)

I once went to the opening of a nice little nightclub place I was eager to try.  The hostess sat us and handed us our menus but the watress rushed right over to take our order without even giving us time to look at it.  She stood there, pen poised over here order pad, and said, "what would you like?"  Wanting to help speed things up (as she was obviously in a hurry) I asked her if they had a chicken breast sandwhich.  She looked down at me like I had three heads and said, "I dont know!  I just started working here!"  then she positioned her pen over her pad again and stared at me!  Seriously?  Since we had come a long way and were too tired to get right up and leave we just ordered drinks and listened to the band for about an hour and then went and ate somewhere else!


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## christaylor (Nov 7, 2010)

Tell you that these menu items here are the ones that people of your ethnicity like.


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

ChrisTaylor said:


> Tell you that these menu items here are the ones that people of your ethnicity like.


Looking gabacho / guailo / etc., can be a challenge. Waiters have been known to insist on a signed waiver before serving me some of the more interesting menu offerings. I have vivid recollections of a five-minute negotiation regarding whether I really wanted pig ear instead of chow mein.

Usually it ends up being more fun and advantageous than anything else -- if you can learn to roll with it. I can't tell you how many times we've ended up mid-meal surrounded by giggling Korean waitresses telling my wife how lucky she is.

BDL


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

abefroman said:


> Over priced would be $90 for scrambled eggs and country potatoes. = $6-8 tip
> 
> Expensively priced would be $90 for eggs benedict with beluga caviar. = $14-18 tip
> 
> ...


I always ask my wife, who would be crazy enough to pay these kind of prices on a room service menu. I just got that question answered...........If you can't pay the band, don't expect to dance...................


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## sinfulvixen (Nov 7, 2010)

Abe I couldn't agree with you more, 90 dollars is outrageous for scrambled eggs and toast no matter what kind of fancy garnish you use. And since I wouldn't frequent such a restaurant often I wouldn't mind their opinion on my tipping /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif That being said, I hate when you come with a large group of people and the waiter tries to show off by not writing anything down, only to forget something in the end (usually a drink) or mess up an order (ex:mashed potatoes instead of baked).Another thing that would irk me (someone mentioned), is when several people are waiting your table.In those cases I just leave the tip on the table and let them figure it out./img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I couldn't disagree with you and Abe more, Sinful.

A thing is worth what somebody is willing to pay for it. Obviously, a lot of people pay those prices. So to them it's worth the price.

I have to wonder, too, why anyone would stay at such a resort, and then bitch about the pricing structure. It's not like you don't know that going in. And I wonder, more, why you would take your displeasure out on the server.


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## sinfulvixen (Nov 7, 2010)

Perhaps it's because I dont work in the cooking field that I cant see where you come from KY.Just because we're dinning in a upscale restaurant doesn't mean I'm willing to pay just anything for such a humble meal. Also just because I feel this way doesn't mean my surprise, displeasure or frustration on the price of the meal will be reflected on the way I tip. If the waiter seemed to go out of his way to make sure my meal was satisfactory, then perhaps I'd be inclined to tip more. Same goes if he was to cause me to have an unpleasant meal, the tip or lack of would reflect that.I'm tipping the waiter on his performance as well as my reflection of the meal.

Living in NYC you become comfortable in tipping. It's the arrogant waiters who feel as though they are obligated to receive a higher tip that is an issue.As far as putting myself in these situations...I dont. But I can imagine they come up every so often even for someone who rather not indulge in such "luxurious" cuisine. Agree to disagree I suppose./img/vbsmilies/smilies/smiles.gif


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

Billy B's wife is right.  Next KY. 

Vixen, you're missing the point.  Abe didn't undertip to protest bad service, he did it because he was offended by the prices (he knew before ordering).  As you say, you know how to tip and don't punish the waiter because you're unhappy with something out of her or his control.

Tipping for room service in hotels is different from tipping in a restaurant -- even if the restaurant is located in the hotel.  You should tip for the delivery as well as table set up, setting out the food and beverages and so on.  Unless the service was REALLY bad, I'd never tip less than 25% or $10 -- whichever was greatest. 

BDL


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_Also just because I feel this way doesn't mean my surprise, displeasure or frustration on the price of the meal will be reflected on the way I tip. _

You need to try and be a little less ambiguous, then, because that's exactly what you agreed to. Abe said, point blank, that he tips based on what he thinks the food was worth (i.e., $6-8 on a $90 plate of scrambled eggs, but $14-18 for a $90 plate of eggs benedict & cavier. In other words, a high of less than 9% for the first, and 20% for the latter---irrespective of the quality of service). He also said he tipped only 8% in a Miami restaurant where breakfast for two was 50 bucks.

And you said, "Abe I couldn't agree with you more.....

and since I wouldn't frequent such a restaurant often I wouldn't mind their opinion on my tipping"

Tipping and outrageous prices for food are two different issues. You and Abe can insist on tying them together all you want, but that doesn't change the fact---which is that if the service level on a $90 plate of eggs benedict is worth an $18 tip, then the same level of service on a $90 plate of scrambled eggs is worth the same tip. The obverse is, if you don't want to pay $90 for scrambed eggs, then don't eat in that restaurant. But if you do, don't express your displeasure over the pricetag by stiffing the server.


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## sinfulvixen (Nov 7, 2010)

I agree to the point that you shouldn't visit such places if you have an issue with the pricing.However if for some reason I find myself in such a situation, the answer stands the same. Regardless of "proper" etiquette. My version of proper etiquette is what is practical and what I can afford. Practical for me is tipping 6-8$ for a plate of eggs and toast no matter where I'm dining at.Another reason why I most likely never visit these places that you have.Now I respected your choice in tipping and please respect mine. I don't want to hijack this thread anymore then we already have./img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif

P.S If I find myself at Le Bernardin I'll be sure to let you guys know. /img/vbsmilies/smilies//biggrin.gif


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## chefbazookas (Oct 11, 2010)

Maybe it results from having been a server for 4 years, but if I were ever kidnapped and forced to dine in a restaurant where the pricing was higher than what I considered 'practical', I would gladly order the least expensive thing on the menu so that I would be able to tip appropriately and still not blow my hostage budget.

Shame on me for allowing myself to be secreted away in a dingy, Bundyesque van and taken to Chez Expensiev.

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lookaround.gif


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

KYHeirloomer said:


> But that takes us into the area of good service, which is the topic of another thread.


I think we can stand a few stories about good service if we can put up with the occasional diversion about tipping.


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## jgw899 (Nov 12, 2010)

I hate it when a server keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to eat. Also when they keep trying to talk to me when they can tell that I'm into it. Sometimes I'm a nice guy and I want chit chat. Other times I just want my food and to be left alone. Read my body language.

Capitola Restaurants | Santa Cruz Restaurants


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

I sometimes wonder if it is more of the customer than the server. I have never had a bad experience in any restaurant and I have traveled to many places. When I am in Chef owned restaurant most times I step back and meet the Chef and have a great meal. I would say 75% of the time I am shaking someones hand or exchanging a pleasant comment to a hostess or manager on the way out. I have never been treated rude or had an unpleasant or unkind word spoke to me or my family. When we travel almost everyone I meet in the Hotel remembers me and go out of their way to make things pleasant. If all of you would work a station in a restaurant for one night you would never complain again. I have managed both the front and back of the house and have walked many of dining rooms. If someone in my dining room had bad service I always thought it to be my fault, and I made thing right. If I continued to have problems with the same server then its still my fault, I let it continue. If you ever do get bad service in a restaurant look at the management, I bet they are not on the floor. ...................... ChefBillyB


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

jgw899 said:


> I hate it when a server keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to eat. Also when they keep trying to talk to me when they can tell that I'm into it. Sometimes I'm a nice guy and I want chit chat. Other times I just want my food and to be left alone. Read my body language.
> 
> Capitola Restaurants | Santa Cruz Restaurants
> 
> I bet you have all the servers lining up to serve you.................


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I'm not against them, Lyle. But there's a whole active thread about good service in this very forum.


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## jgw899 (Nov 12, 2010)

ChefBillyB said:


> jgw899 said:
> 
> 
> > I hate it when a server keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to eat. Also when they keep trying to talk to me when they can tell that I'm into it. Sometimes I'm a nice guy and I want chit chat. Other times I just want my food and to be left alone. Read my body language.
> ...


Haha well that's their job, isn't it? I think that if I'm paying my hard earned money that they should cater to what I want...


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

So lets change this up a little, what's the best server experience you've had?


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## tylerm713 (Aug 6, 2010)

KYHeirloomer said:


> But there's a whole active thread about good service in this very forum.


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

Link me



tylerm713 said:


> KYHeirloomer said:
> 
> 
> > But there's a whole active thread about good service in this very forum.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

http://www.cheftalk.com/forum/thread/59308/what-s-truly-excellent-service


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

Interruption.  I always trained my servers not to interrupt a conversation and wait for the customer to acknowledge them, and to walk away if they sense the conversation is deeper than the deep dish pie they hope to serve them.  

Upselling, upselling, upselling.  I always try to strike conversations with servers to get the inside scoop on those questions, then I ask, "how many times out of ten do you sell a drink, appetizer or dessert the customer wasn't planning on.  1 -2 of ten is the usual answer, but they are not sure out of those if they would have wanted them with out the upsell.   

Ignoring you if your busy.  I go right to the manager and explain the art of service to him or her and that his server is ruining my and my guests dining experience.  For some things, especially manners, I have no patience.  It takes takes two seconds to say "I'll be right there" with a smile.

One last one.  When the server brings an order to the table they know is wrong, not properly prepared or mis-timed so the temperature is not right, and they know it.  Grrrr...


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

ChefBillyB said:


> I sometimes wonder if it is more of the customer than the server. I have never had a bad experience in any restaurant and I have traveled to many places. When I am in Chef owned restaurant most times I step back and meet the Chef and have a great meal. I would say 75% of the time I am shaking someones hand or exchanging a pleasant comment to a hostess or manager on the way out. I have never been treated rude or had an unpleasant or unkind word spoke to me or my family. When we travel almost everyone I meet in the Hotel remembers me and go out of their way to make things pleasant. If all of you would work a station in a restaurant for one night you would never complain again. I have managed both the front and back of the house and have walked many of dining rooms. If someone in my dining room had bad service I always thought it to be my fault, and I made thing right. If I continued to have problems with the same server then its still my fault, I let it continue. If you ever do get bad service in a restaurant look at the management, I bet they are not on the floor. ...................... ChefBillyB


I want to dine at _your_ restaurant...


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

KYHeirloomer said:


> http://www.cheftalk.com/forum/thread/59308/what-s-truly-excellent-service


Thanks for the link! I just popped over there and told my pumpkin pie story.


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## jgw899 (Nov 12, 2010)

I think that sometimes these situations just happen. If the restaurant was really busy, then cut them a little slack!


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

I understand those situations.  But here is a recent example I observed of how to handle a busy night.

I dropped by a friend's restaurant on a Monday night recently - typically a slower night and a group of 120 called in 2 hours prior and told him of their last minute need for a facility.  Everyone went into bunker mode and it was as close to managing a situation like that to perfection as possible.  He beefed up runners for service, made sure they were instructed to bring any additional condiments, drinks, etc when requested.  He set up additional stations for for water and condiments. Both the manager and the chef when possible circulated throughout the restaurant, which was full by then, with both the large group and other customers.  The chef said the most important objective was to serve the food to expectation, and if it took an extra few minutes, so be it.

The flow of the restaurant was constant, almost like a waltz.  The customers were satisfied, enjoyed their conversations with management and the extra attention.  The kitchen got through their 15 minutes of Hell's Kitchen, and at the end of service, everyone was energized.  I called it, "Il trionfo del momento".  They were proud of knocking the service out of the park.  It was great to experience.  My food came out perfect.  I toasted my friend from a distance and he winked.  He knew he had command.

His philosophy of customer focus has made him consistently successful and brought him 'the best of' ranking.  Now thats what I'm talking about....


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## chefness (Nov 25, 2010)

From my side of line, I'd have to say:

When a server rings in every single order at once, and then complains to us that we're not fast enough, and tells the customers that "the kitchen staff is slow tonight"

I also really hate when a server only tips out a tiny bit of their huge wad of cash. To any servers out there - you wouldn't have food to serve, or dishes to serve food on if you didn't have kitchen staff - show some appreciation.

And when you ring the bell, but no one comes to get the food, forever. And then they finally come and make up a sad excuse about how they were talking to a table of people who know the owner...

As far as eating in a restaurant is concerned - I really hate when a server tells you they cannot do something that I know they can.


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## chefboyarg (Oct 28, 2008)

Worst thing is indifference to a problem, or worse giving you attitude when they should be giving you an apology. Case in point: My girlfriend and I were at a brunch place a couple of weeks ago. We were seated and our drink order was taken. I had ordered an orange juice and a coffee. I got my juice but lacked the coffee. I politely asked the server if I could get a coffee. I received a water. Third attempt at caffeination yielded a mug o joe pretty much being thrown on the table with no apology offered. When your meal starts off like that the small errors that follow that couldve been easily overlooked are suddenly magnified x100. For the first time in YEARS I was tempted not to tip.


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## prairiechef (May 22, 2010)

"I also really hate when a server only tips out a tiny bit of their huge wad of cash. To any servers out there - you wouldn't have food to serve, or dishes to serve food on if you didn't have kitchen staff - show some appreciation." "

And you would have no one to eat your food, and thus, no job, were there no servers to serve it.

Do you share your wages when the servers have a slow night? Give 'em 1% of your daily take?

You're a cook. You chose to be a cook. Suck it up. You want tips? Go serve. Otherwise, grit your teeth and do what cooks do.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

My concern raised by chefness is regarding the attitude and blaming of the kitchen for any problems - by anyone.  That shows a lack of professionalism, a division of departments, raises the question of the quality of the kitchen and that to me, is a management problem.  

I think wages are something that, once agreed upon, are what they are.  I do think bonuses should be a consideration for any owner for people that contribute to the success of the establishment or organization.


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## linny29 (Oct 9, 2010)

Working in restaurants for most my life, in one form or another, I am probably the hardest person I know to satisfy completely as a customer! Most of the stuff discussed on this thread is a good example why not everyone is cut out to be a server! Contrary to what most people think, being a server actually takes some kind of brain and personality.

All that being said, I had a flashback to one of my bad past experiences for almost every pet peeve listed here! The only one I would like to add (I hope I didn't overlook it) the server sets down your food with a thumb in your food, that seems to happen to me way too much!


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_with a thumb in your food,........ _

Or even overlapping the plate, whether it touches the food or not.

Anyone else think it strange that we're so concerned with sanitation in the kitchen, to the point of wearing rubber gloves and all, and then some clown, who maybe hasn't even washed his/her hands after bussing the last table, has their fingers all over your plate.

Kind of a double standard, once you think about it.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

This topic brings to light a lot of thoughts, indeed. Personally,  I think gloves are a waste of time and personal effect.  I met a chef, 83, still cooking to order, and we got on the subject of food prep and handling.  He has never used a glove except to handle hot equipment or certain types of seafood in prep.  He said he never once had a complaint of someone becoming ill from his food.


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## linny29 (Oct 9, 2010)

I only use gloves when prepping food and not while cooking, but I also wash my hands more often than any cook or chef I ever met. Gloves can be just as nasty as bare hands if the person does not change the gloves often enough! I have worked with cooks who thought going back and forth between raw and cooked food was okay cause they are wearing gloves! YUCK!!


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

Probably the rudest waiter I came across was a bus boy in montreal, I was sitting next to a table with two Muslims and they ordered a couple things including potato skins, which on the menu said they did not contain meat.  When the bus boy brought them out, they had bacon or ham on top and then mentioned to the bus boy that they dont eat pork and the menu didn't say there was meat on there.  The bus boy told them, it says it has meat on the menu!! And walked away as the Muslim was holding up the menu showing him it didnt say it had meat.   I went over and told the bus boy to get back over there and fix their order, he told them he would fix it and mentioned to the Muslim they better realize whats on the food before they order it next time!


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

TK and Linny, I think you're missing my point. It wasn't about the efficacy of gloves (a point I agree with you both on), but on the dual sanitation standards. In the kitchen we are concerned about sanitation; sometimes more obsessively even than the medical fraternity. We will not, do not, cross-contaminate, for instance. But along comes a server who just bussed somebody's chicken dinner plates and, without even a wipe, picks up a new dish, lays a fat (contaminated thumb) across it, and serves it to somebody else.

In other words, sanitation seemingly stops at the pass.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

Understood K - that's a frustrating one with no easy answer again other than training....


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## chefbazookas (Oct 11, 2010)

When a server blames anyone else (granted, it's usually the kitchen) for anything that has resulted in poor service to the consumer it's a transgression in my opinion and for two reasons. First, and most importantly, a server shouldn't be in the business of giving any excuses. If a server allows something to go out that they know is wrong, it becomes their responsibility. If it's wrong, fix it or communicate the problem to the person who can fix it before it goes out. Whatever the problem, it shouldn't make it to the table to become the consumer's issue. If it does, it should simply be taken care of immediately.

Second, the server blaming someone else is most often a lie. Many servers feel comfortable telling outright lies to consumers in order to relieve themselves of any wrongdoing. It is unfortunately convenient to blame the kitchen for anything wrong with the food as it's unlikely that the consumer will find out otherwise. Two recent issues from my personal dining experiences stand out. In one instance our food was taking an exceedingly long time to get to the table. When it finally arrived, the plates were scorching hot (and of course the server warned us not to touch them). Our server apologized for the late delivery stating that the kitchen was "really backed up" and rolled her eyes. Scorching hot plates for a dish that didn't have to be fired on the plate tells me one thing: it sat in the window under the warmers for too long because the server couldn't get to it fast enough.

In another instance the server seemed distracted when memorizing our order. As I suspected, when the order came out it was wrong (i.e. I ordered steamed vegetables and got a baked potato; my husband ordered a baked potato and got french fries). When I mentioned it to the server he told me the kitchen had been messing up orders all night. Granted, I have no way of knowing whether the kitchen read the ticket wrong or if the server put the order in wrong, but from experience I'd gamble on the latter.


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## maryb (Mar 21, 2008)

I was working at a local casino fixing electronics. Got off shift at 2am and a bunch of us wanted breakfast and the only place open was the cafe at the competing casino 30 miles away. We all piled into cars and went over. All of us ordered bacon and all of it came out basically raw (some was still cold) so we sent it back. It came back out so hard that it couldn't be chewed so we sent it back again. At this point the on duty cook came out and told us that we could eat it the way he cooks it because we were from the other casino. We got up to walk out but made sure to slip the server $40 on the way out the door. Never went back there again to eat.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

Woah!  That takes the prize!  Who knows what else was going on in his kitchen...and you should have complained to the state.


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## linny29 (Oct 9, 2010)

*KYHeirloomer* - Couldn't agree more! Of course being back of the house, I always think we do everything better! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/chef.gif

*ChefBazookas *- Of course servers lie to look better, they get paid $4 an hour and rely on getting tipped to to make money and it is easier to blame someone whom the customer is not staring at. Servers, bartenders, anyone who makes money mainly on what you tip .... don't trust a word they say /img/vbsmilies/smilies/thumb.gif (In case anyone is wondering, I am just being playful, plz no bashing me/img/vbsmilies/smilies/peace.gif)


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

linny29 said:


> Of course servers lie to look better, they get paid $4 an hour and rely on getting tipped to to make money...


Wow! Out here in Utah, they generally get paid the minimum wage of $2.13 an hour-- relying, as you wrote, on tips to survive.


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## ambibambi (Jan 24, 2011)

@Sheena

I'm a server and when there is cash on the table I make it a point to say "I'll be back with your change" that way if they want change they can say thank you and if they don't they can say keep the change. This way it doesn't make things awkward for the guest as it would if you said "Do you want change?" like you already know it's your tip.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

This might already be back in the thread. I was reading some points about cross contamination. It really puts me off when a server puts his pen

behind his ear and then sticks the order pad down the back of his pants.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

panini said:


> This might already be back in the thread. I was reading some points about cross contamination. It really puts me off when a server puts his pen
> 
> behind his ear and then sticks the order pad down the back of his pants.


Remember this joke?

Last night, I went with some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around I saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed! I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant... That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the end of our "you know what," we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"Hhmmm...After you get it out, how do you put it back?" I asked.

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others... but I use the spoon."


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Hadn't heard that before, Kuan. And, as soon as I wipe the coffee off the screen, I'll be in better shape. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif

Sadly, however, it does reflect the difference in sanitation orientation between FOH and BOH.


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## chefboyarg (Oct 28, 2008)

This particular incident sticks out in my mind; maybe because it was on New Year's Eve. So my girlfriend and I went to one of the better places in town for dinner and the meal was progressing well. Delicious food, good wine. We decide to get a couple of post dinner drinks (Scotch for me, whiskey sour for her)....anyways she tells me that it doesn't taste like she expected but she likes it anyways. It's rimmed with sugar and she just runs her finger around the rim which causes our server to materialize by our side and inquire if the drink is satisfactory, as she saw the need to add sugar. She says it is fine and he says he will get the bartender to make a new one. She protested and he literally snatched the drink from her hand. It didn't impress me. In fact we had had the same server the night previous and had prayed he wouldn't be the ruination of our NYE.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Every thing alright here?  Everything alright here?  everything alright here?  everything alright here?,  everything alright here?  everything alright here?

IF  IT  WASN'T  I  WOULD  HAVE  CALLED  YOU .


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_In fact we had had the same server the night previous and had prayed he wouldn't be the ruination of our NYE._

If you had a server you were unhappy with, why didn't you request that you not be seated at his table?


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## rpmcmurphy (Jan 8, 2008)

Writing/calculating the tip on the ticket...annoys me to no end.  I tip very well for good service. sometimes 50%....write it down like I'm too stupid to do math and I'll leave you that exact amount, including the pennies.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I keep hearing about that practice, RP, but have never actually had it happen. Is it really common for servers to do it?


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

I hae been in one or 2 chain type places that printed on the check is a table of % 12-15-20-25- and based on your check what the figure is.. so to help you compute tip. It does not however tell you for what type of service, good , bad, or mediocre?


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Kuan.

ha!ha! Thanks you made my day.


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## rpmcmurphy (Jan 8, 2008)

KYHeirloomer said:


> I keep hearing about that practice, RP, but have never actually had it happen. Is it really common for servers to do it?


No, it's not common but has happened to me on more than one occasion. Most recently at a resto in Jersey called Sahara.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

chefedb said:


> Every thing alright here? Everything alright here? everything alright here? everything alright here?, everything alright here? everything alright here?
> 
> IF IT WASN'T I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU .


And they leave when someone else says yes and you can't because you have a mouthful of food.


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## breadmaker man (Jan 25, 2011)

1. When they walk past every table without making eye contact or looking around to see if someone wants their attention.2. Having to wait an eternity between entree and main. 3. Not being polite.


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## trooper (Jan 21, 2011)

1. Going into "Lack of eye contact mode because I am rushed and want to pretend I didn't hear the please for service from my tables"

2. Touching the top/rim of any beverage.

3. Slamming plates on the table - use some grace please.

4. Not having the table ready - place setting, dirty, missing elements that are on all the other tables.

5. Not knowing how to present, open, sample or pour wine.

6. Not keeping an eye on drink levels.

7. Dirty habits/poor personal hygene or frumpy dress.

8. Not knowing the menu or anything specific about any particular item.

Some of these things just make me angry at management - for not training their people. I'll chew a FOH before I say anything to a server. That's as it should be.

9. Servers who clean or bus their own tables. Bus and Wait staff need to be different people.

10. Bus staff that roams around pouring water/tea/whatever - They usually touch rim of glass as well. Servers serve - Bussers BUS!


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## homemadecook (Jan 27, 2010)

For me,

1. I hate waiting too long to get my order.

2. Asking to much while eating.

3. Taking a long time to get refilled.

4. Arguing


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## cactusdr (Feb 1, 2011)

"Go ahead and put my drink on the table with your fingers on the rim of the glass. Go ahead.....and see what happens. I *GUARANTEE* it will be the last time you do."


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

Hey _*cactusdr*_. I'm curious. Are you _*"GUARANTEEING" *_that it's the last time the server would put anything on _"your"_ table, or are you of the idea that you would get them fired? I'm not looking for a fire-fight, I'm just curious about the true outcome that you are speaking of. _*TIA*_ for a response.


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## trooper (Jan 21, 2011)

I've trained waitstaff, ad-hoc, while on vacation. Was in a hotel dining room and ordered wine - the server comes with wine and plops it on the table. Then fumbles for an opener from her apron.. Obviously not sure what to do...

I said "Stop, please... Do you know how to serve wine?" She said "No, they don't teach us that."

I told her not to worry or feel like she had done anything wrong, but I wanted to talk to the FOH Manager.

He comes to the table, and with all candor, told me he didn't really know how to do it either, but expected his servers to know, so it had not been addressed. (OMG?)

We had training with trooper that night. The manager, an assistant and six or seven servers - Mostly the whole wait staff - eagerly watching me and asking questions.

The next night I came down to eat, ordered a bottle of wine, and another server was wide-eyed and proud to service the presentation.

She said her, and her peers tip ratio had gone up considerably on wine tables, and much thanks to me. The Manager comped my meal and costed my wine... everyone wins.

My dear mother was a "server" (waitress) for 30 years. Take her out to eat and see what happens if a server fingers the rim of a glass or plops-down your plate with no grace.... Ka-Boom! Angry 74/yr-old grandma wrath.

I'm picky, but I always ask; were you trained? I don't know how some of these FOH/Dining Room "Managers" get their jobs. TRAIN YOUR STAFF!!!!!


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

No argument with your basic points, Trooper. The foh manager should not only train his/her staff, but constantly be monitoring them, on the look out for ways to improve their performance. As you note, however, it's a wonder that some of them keep their own jobs. But it quickly becomes evident why the servers aren't knowledgeable. If the manager doesn't know what he/she is doing, how can the servers learn?

Where we disagree is this: When I go out to eat I go out to enjoy the experience. I want to savor the food, and the ambience, and the company I'm with. It isn't my job to train the staff. If they can't do something as simple as serving the wine, or describing the menu items, then I've had poor service. Why should I reward it with a large tip? Or take away from my own experience (and invest the time) doing what somebody else is paid to do?

As an aside, if I were dining with friends or family, and stopped to perform a tutorial, they'd wonder who I was showing off for. And they'd be justified in that attitude.

We also differ in expectations. Using your example: The server obviously knew she didn't know how to open and serve the wine. Why didn't she do something about it? Obviously, she never asked her manager for instructions. To me that reflects not only a lack of training, but a lack of caring. True, in this case the foh manager wouldn't have been able to help. But she didn't know that. She just couldn't be bothered to ask.


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## trooper (Jan 21, 2011)

The server's attitude and the manager's attitude were positive ones. However they were hired was not known to me, but their willingness to learn was. The context of what was going on wasn't to grace the world, the staff or my company with my amazing service skills. I asked if they wanted help, and they did. No harm done.

Generally I am focused on the management, not so much the server, when there are major training gaps. A server with a bad attitude or sub-standard health/dress issues is a different matter.


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## brianshaw (Dec 18, 2010)

I'm fairly tolerant, at least I like to convince myself of that, but what really sends me over the edge is when waitstaff takes my iced tea glass away for a refill and either doesn't return or returns with a glass that doesn't look like the one I was drinking from.  Grrrrrr.


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## slowgold (Feb 6, 2011)

Excuse my english.

Im mostly very overlooking, but there has been a few times where I could not keep my tolerance.

My fiancee is kind of a small eater but she's been taught when she grew up that it's bad manners to leave an unfinished plate, so she has this habbit of just puting her napkin over what's left if she can't finish it when she's at a restaurant. The most recent time we went out to dinner and we had finished our meal the waitress lifted her napkin, looked at her and asked "Did you not enjoy your meal?" 

Once I was served a broken bearnaise sauce - I politly made the waiter awair of this and he replied with a condescending smirk and said "That's how it's suppose to be when it's homemade"


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## granny smith (Jan 31, 2011)

When I was managing a restaurant, the worst thing I ever saw a server do was pour the undertaker a cup of coffee, set the pot on his table, and drop dead. Sure cleared the restaurant fast!


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

I have patiently read all of the comments left so far on what makes everyone angry about service, and it begs the question...."what kind of restaurant WOULD you put up with aforementioned behavior?"

Would you go to Applebies and allow a server to handle your drink glass by the rim?

Would you tolerate a cook to undercook/overcook your steak at TGIFridays?

Would you allow a server at Denny's to clean a table with bleach water right next to where you are dining or run a vacuum when you are having dinner?

The answer is obvious....no to all....right?

Yet in all cases it is either the careless attitude of the person who makes the mistake or the fact that manglement never took the time to train said employee.

As professionals in the industry, we have all had our share of experiences, as talked about in these past few forum threads. It makes one wonder just how hard it is to truly serve or cook.

People will say the waitering is easy, but we know otherwise.

Cooking is a noble profession yet there are quite a few "shoemakers" out there......no?

At the end of the day, when all is said and done it comes down to the employee and how motivated and trained they are.

All across this great country of ours you have diners, cafes, university food services, prison commissaries, fast food, and fine dining etc.....all depending on the quality service of its' employees.

Sure.....some are dives yet even the most innocuous places can be a delightful place to have a great dining experience.

It's the employee that determines our experiences.


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

This is great......

In your best Chinese American accent......

"YOOOOOOOOOOO Lika yo foooooooooooooooooooood?

Gooooooooooooooooood

You pay you bill you get owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!"


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Well, KY, Trooper made the world a slightly better place by performing his impromptu training. I would much rather be around people like that than selfish ones.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

So let me understand you correctly, Lyle.

I go out to dine at a fine restaurant, pay a large fee for the priviledge, and am selfish if I expect the staff to be trained? Self-centered if I don't take time away from my friends and family to train the staff?

I reckon you and I have different definitions of selfish.

But then again, I'm not a consultant, always on the prowl for new contracts either.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Actually, I was not characterizing _you_ as selfish, KY, just characterizing Trooper as the opposite of selfish. I was unaware that he or she might have had any other motivation beyond being helpful.


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## sweetie pie (Feb 18, 2011)

Not listen to what I order.

That has happened to me so many times.  I once asked for a substitution. I wanted grilled chicken instead of the chicken salad which came with my meal.  The waiter brought the chicken salad instead.  When I told him I ordered the grilled chicken, he took my plate away and did not return it until everyone in my dinner party had finished their meal.  The grilled chicken was seasoned with such heavy spice, my eyes teared.  I held back coughs as  I swallowed the food before me. I didn't say anything to him or anyone else but I knew it was purposeful. This happened in an Outback, a place which usually gives friendly service so I didn't want to complain.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)




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## transchef (Feb 25, 2011)

Talking in front of my food (s)he is holding and about to serve.


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## flakeyfresh (Apr 29, 2010)

C0Ok said:


> Huge serrated steak knives.....
> Being treated like I'm cheap and won't tip well because I'm 19. Just because I'm a kid does not mean I'm an idiot. I always tip very well.


I hear ya! f gratuity.

I absolutely hate rude waiters! Wtf are you being rude for? your probably making sick money and "working hard?" no "Hardly working." And as far as tipping if your bad 10% if that, if you are rarely at my table but i have no need for you 20% And if you make me feel comfortable and are willing to politely answer my questions i tip 50% and up. I think a tip is absolutely my choice and dependent on the service i receive. I hate it when our servers bitch about their tip and or get mad at the people because of their tip. 1 work harder and be more polite and I'm sure you ll get tipped better 2 you being upset its gonna help your tip next time... If there is a next time! And i want them coming back! lol 3 no one looks at tips like you do. most people say oh 20% unless your horrible. 4 maybe that's all the cash they had maybe they are tight on money.

I have fought with many a server over tips. haha And some think they work harder than us chefs! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif WHA!! HA!!!!!! I mean really..


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## prairiechef (May 22, 2010)

"your probably making sick money and "working hard?" no "Hardly working." "

"haha And some think they work harder than us chefs! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif WHA!! HA!!!!!! I mean really.. "

THIS is the attitude that p!$$es me off. Take off your whites, and go bust hump in the front of the house for a few nights... it'll make you a much better cook. Also, when you become a chef, you can use the term "us chefs". I don't usually take anyone to task over the "Chef vs cook" thing... but here, it seems appropriate.

Serving is hard work. Hard, stressful work. Your lack of respect will come through in your relationships with your servers, and it will make your job far more difficult than it needs to be. I have bartended, bussed, served, managed, washed dishes... and if you care to know, I would much rather be cooking in the kitchen than any other position... less stress, less headaches, less B.S. I have nothing but respect for the work servers do... and my servers know it. It makes a difference.


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

PrairieChef said:


> Serving is hard work. Hard, stressful work. Your lack of respect will come through in your relationships with your servers, and it will make your job far more difficult than it needs to be. I have bartended, bussed, served, managed, washed dishes... and if you care to know, I would much rather be cooking in the kitchen than any other position... less stress, less headaches, less B.S. I have nothing but respect for the work servers do... and my servers know it. It makes a difference.


Thank you Prarie, couldn't have said it better.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

LOL. I'm pretty sure I had a post here somewhere?

_*Here post, post, post! ..... Little posty post! ............... Here posty post, post, post!*_


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## abefroman (Mar 12, 2005)

IceMan said:


> LOL. I'm pretty sure I had a post here somewhere?
> 
> _*Here post, post, post! ..... Little posty post! ............... Here posty post, post, post!*_


My bad, does it come up now?

It was showing up blank on FireFox (so I deleted it), but I see it shows up on another browser (so I undeleted it).


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

_.................... Now back to your regularly scheduled program._


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## sniper (Mar 3, 2011)

Nothing bothers me too much as long as they are trying. But I have to admit, I don't really like it when a Server comes up to my table for the first time and asks me "how are "WE" doing today"?

It's not going to effect their tip, but I can't answer how he or she is doing. I can tell him or her how "I'm" doing, but that's it.

Asking how "we" are doing sounds too scripted I guess.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

IceMan said:


> LOL. I'm pretty sure I had a post here somewhere?


I remember seeing this scene decades ago, but did not appreciate it then as much as I just did. Thanks!

Now I gotta Netflix the movie so I can watch the rest of it.


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## mensh (Mar 7, 2011)

My pet peeve is when the servers defend their actions or try to explain what happened. Whatever it is, it's wrong -- get it off my table and make it right. Don't tell me that the bartender made the drink wrong (deflecting blame), the kitchen is backed up, I should speak more clearly, I don't know what's in that drink, that_ is_ broccoli rabe on my plate (when it's clearly not).

Hello, my name is Barbara and *I'll be your guest* tonight. Please treat me as one.

High on the list is the server's introducing themselves. I don't want to find a new friend, I want to have a nice dining experience with the friends I brought with me.


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## breadmaker man (Jan 25, 2011)

Mensh said:


> My pet peeve is when the servers defend their actions or try to explain what happened. Whatever it is, it's wrong -- get it off my table and make it right. Don't tell me that the bartender made the drink wrong (deflecting blame), the kitchen is backed up, I should speak more clearly, I don't know what's in that drink, that_ is_ broccoli rabe on my plate (when it's clearly not).
> 
> Hello, my name is Barbara and *I'll be your guest* tonight. Please treat me as one.
> 
> High on the list is the server's introducing themselves. I don't want to find a new friend, I want to have a nice dining experience with the friends I brought with me.


You actually get peeved if they introduce themselves?

I can agree with the first one though.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

I wouldn't say I exactly get peeved. But I agree with Mensh's basic point. The whole "Hi, I'm Joe and I'll be your server" thing leaves me cold. As she says, I am not there to make friends with the server.

One interesting thing I've noticed is that places which make the biggest deal about the "Hi, I'm....." thing are the ones most likely to have others actually serve the food. You know, Joe takes the order, but whoever has a free hand actually delivers it.

Servers in the best places, in my experience, do not introduce themselves. They just do their jobs properly.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

WOW. Some of you get upset that a server is polite.


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

IceMan said:


> WOW. Some of you get upset that a server is polite.


IceMan, without these people, who would the waitstaff bitch about. I'm sure these people are a real pleasure to serve..............I have been to hundreds of restaurants around the world and never had a problem, I guess my standards are low.................


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Iceman, politeness and good manners are a form of ingrained behavior. Following a set speech you've been told to use is not being polite; it's merely following the boss' instructions.

And just how polite is it for one person to introduce themself as your server, and that's the last you see of him or her?

Billy: Given Mensh's and my posts, what possible reason would the wait staff have to bitch? Nobody said anything about voicing our concern. It's not like I'm telling the server, "I don't care what your name is." All either of us said is that the "Hi, I'm Joe...." thing bugs us.

On the other hand, one of the best waiters I've had in recent memory was at Jonathan's in Lexington, KY. Despite having two large parties to cope with, he was at our table as often as he needed to be. And while he was with us we were treated as if we were the only people in the place. But you know what? He never offered his name. What he offered, instead, was superlative service. And his tip reflected it.


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

KYHeirloomer said:


> Iceman, politeness and good manners are a form of ingrained behavior. Following a set speech you've been told to use is not being polite; it's merely following the boss' instructions.
> 
> And just how polite is it for one person to introduce themself as your server, and that's the last you see of him or her?
> 
> ...


Billy: Given Mensh's and my posts, what possible reason would the wait staff have to bitch? Nobody said anything about voicing our concern. It's not like I'm telling the server, "I don't care what your name is." All either of us said is that the "Hi, I'm Joe...." thing bugs us.

Let the little people do their job, bitch to the management. It kills me that it would bug someone just because a server is doing their job the way the company wants it done. Would you rather know the persons name or call her, "Hey big busted lady, I need more tartar"...................I walk up to my customers all the time," Hello I'm Chef Bill", hows everyone doing tonight..............Not once did anyone tell me, We don't care about your name, just do your job. I guess I have understanding customers..........What if you liked the server named Mary and you came back a few night later. You could say, is Mary working tonight, she did a great job a few nights ago and we would love to be in her section again, if possible........................Hi, I'm Bill


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## wangtingt (Mar 14, 2011)

If I went to a reasurant for first time and received a bad service, I will never ever go to there and will warn my friends about this. I hate waiting for long time in resturant.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

I'm with KY and Mensch;  it's the whole fake friend thing made even more irritating when followed  by the "corporate speech" they have had to memorize.  It's not the server's fault, but that doesn't make it any less irritating.

We recently had a waiter who said "no worries" absolutely every time he came to the table, except when he was saying "no worries at all".  It got to the point where I didnt' want to say thank you because he'd have to say no worries.  What ever happened to the plain old "you're welcome"?

And to further prove to some that I'm even a bigger *itch, here's another one.  We were at a local restaurant, medium expensive, usually very good.  The husband of the couple we were with ordered something and the server asked what pasat he'd like with it.  He said linquine and she said they didnt' have it.  He asked what kind of pasta she had and she told him the list was on the menu and she just stood there.  The poor guy was searching the menu in the dimly  lit dining room and still couldn't find it so he asked again and she said it was right there at the top of the page (of a 6 page menu).  Still couldn't find it, so I asked her if it wouldn't be easier for her to simply tell him what they had.  Again she told him where to find the list, but I guess she got tired of him being so stupid and wasting her time that she did end up listing the FOUR choices.  Could have saved us all some time if she had just said that in the first place!


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_Could have saved us all some time if she had just said that in the first place!_

Now, Lentil, let's not be too harsh. She was probably so busy giving the "hi, I'm Mary, I'll be your server tonight" speech she didn't have enough time to actually do her job.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

Ok, I had a fun one. I love this stuff, as I knew from her face she knew what she was doing and the house was in on it...

I watched a server who was belittled by a drunk who came in to sit from the bar area and demanded to see her chest, slurring every word in the book in a mean way. She got a plate of pasta loaded with butter, parmesan and anchovy paste and waited for the right opportunity to dump it all over him.  The manager called the police to get rid of the bad drunk, where he probably went to a cell where others were appreciating his finite odor.  

Hahahah!  I doubled my tip - you can't pay for that.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

KYHeirloomer said:


> _Could have saved us all some time if she had just said that in the first place!_
> 
> Now, Lentil, let's not be too harsh. She was probably so busy giving the "hi, I'm Mary, I'll be your server tonight" speech she didn't have enough time to actually do her job.


Nah KY; she was just being surly. ;-) When she brought the check, she set the book on the edge of the table where it promptly fell on the floor. She walked away without picking it up.

Someone above said that they go out all the time and never have a problem with service. I wonder if that has more to do with a sunny and non-critical personality. I have neither.


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## theslowcooker (Apr 18, 2011)

The worst thing a waiter can do is charge you credit card for more than you actually tipped. This happened about 4 months ago at the new Cheddars that just opened up.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

TheSlowCooker said:


> The worst thing a waiter can do is charge you credit card for more than you actually tipped. This happened about 4 months ago at the new Cheddars that just opened up.


Oh my heck, if you're going to start talking about _criminal_ behavior, then skimming your card would have to be a bit worse.


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## malachi (Apr 16, 2011)

1. After being seated, the "server" begins a canned speech in an industrial monotone with "My name is X and I will be your server tonight. Tonight we have, yada, yada", which already has tainted the food as being "industrial" and about as original as the unimpressive server.

2.returning to ask if another round of drinks ( unless a bottle of wine had been opened and served) would be desireable before ordering.

3. Not being attentive after the meal had been finished.

4. Nor maintaining eyecontact with the patrons in an attempt to be one step ahead.

6. Nose, lip cheek and eyebrow piercings. Visable tatoos.above the collar.


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

Malachi said:


> 1. After being seated, the "server" begins a canned speech in an industrial monotone with "My name is X and I will be your server tonight. Tonight we have, yada, yada", which already has tainted the food as being "industrial" and about as original as the unimpressive server.
> 
> 2.returning to ask if another round of drinks ( unless a bottle of wine had been opened and served) would be desireable before ordering.
> 
> ...


As for the canned speech routine....this is mandated by corporate or manglement. I agree with 2, 3, and 4.

As for the multiple piercings and tattoos......unfortunately these are a sign of the times.

Trying to find employees without them is going to be difficult in the future......

By the way.....what's #5?


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## malachi (Apr 16, 2011)

#6 was a typo.

#2 should have read "NOT" returning....

#3 needs further explanation.. the server not returning in a reasonable amount of time to see if their patrons would like desert, coffee or an after dinner drink. The response would give the server a clue as to whether or not to present the bill.

 #5 needs clarification. If you are selling  tacos, burgersand pizza, OK. If you are dropping $150-$200 for two on a five-star meal, then the management must be prudent about the appearance of those he hires as servers.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

LOL. Check out Michael Symon, Michael Voltaggio and/or Kevin Gillespie. See what they look like. I'm pretty sure they're putting out 3-star or better food. Please name for us some 5-star places that have less than quality servers.

Quote:


> If you are dropping $150-$200 for two on a five-star meal, then the management must be prudent about the appearance of those he hires as servers.


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## rob w (May 18, 2011)

My biggest pet peeve is the server showing preference (an inordinate amount of time) schmoozing a 6 or an 8 top when it's me and my two children at your other table.  Yes, our check will be smaller, but I tip extremely well for excellent, attentive service.  If you ignore us, I have no problem tipping 5%, if anything.


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

Malachi said:


> 6. Nose, lip cheek and eyebrow piercings. Visable tatoos.above the collar.





IceMan said:


> LOL. Check out Michael Symon, Michael Voltaggio and/or Kevin Gillespie. See what they look like. I'm pretty sure they're putting out 3-star or better food. Please name for us some 5-star places that have less than quality servers.
> 
> Quote:


Last time I was in DC, I made the trek out to Frederick and had the pleasure of being a guest at Volts kitchen table. Amazing meal. All of the servers were sporting brown Converse Chuck Taylor Allstars and quite a few of them had visible tattoos.

Made me feel really good.

A certain amount of counter culture has always been associated with the service industry dynamic. More specifically the BOH, but its working its way out to the FOH as well. This includes tattoos. Piercings. In some places even drug use. It is what is it.

I have two full sleeves of tattoos. Does that affect my ability to be professional to guests? Does it affect my palate? Does it inhibit my ability to recommend a bottle of wine to a table, or design and serve a top notch tasting menu? No to all the above.

Just because I choose to put art on my skin that means something to me, does not make me bad at what I choose to do for a living, nor does it mean that compared to someone that is without tattoos or piercings, my product is substandard.

Just because a server does the same, does not mean that he or she is automatically going to give you horrible service. On the contrary, I would expect them to give BETTER service based on the people that DO judge based off of appearance alone. Those people have to work harder and be more attentive to every little detail because some people, especially the older crowds have this misconception that just because you have made the decision to put holes in your body or ink under your skin, that you are a moral and social deviant.

If you go to an establishment and your tip is based off of what your server looks like, as opposed to the QUALITY of service you are given, your heart, and your money is in the wrong place.


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## rob w (May 18, 2011)

Quote:


ResQDoc said:


> If you go to an establishment and your tip is based off of what your server looks like, as opposed to the QUALITY of service you are given, your heart, and your money is in the wrong place.


Just to play a little devil's advocate here, I don't think you can tell someone that their heart is on the wrong place if they tip based on what the service looks like. Mainly because the fact is that the overall experience of the visit can be affected by the appearance of your server... Now, this can go one of two ways:

1) The way you described -- you have a holey, tatted up waitron and you get some outstanding service which goes outside of the expectations of societal norms and it winds up becoming a great conversation piece for the water cooler that week at work.

2) The guy has a chain that runs from rings attached to his ear, to his eyebrow to his nose and my kids get weirded out by it and it makes them uncomfortable and that becomes a negative conversation piece and, potentially, bad advertising for your establishment. I mean, lets face it, children decide a very large part of where a family's income is spent - if it's a night I decide that the family is going to eat out, my first question is, "Hey, kids... where do you want to eat tonight?"

So, is the diner supposed to tip ONLY based on quality of service? I don't. It's certainly a large factor, but the experience of the overall meal definitely plays a mitigating (or supporting) role in how much I tip and if I even decide to visit the establishment again. To cut to the chase, while I don't think you can say, "You shouldn't tip based off of appearance," I think it should be more along the lines of, "Go ahead and tip based on the overall experience and choose to dine elsewhere next time around if you want."

I mean, much like an owner or chef does when they choose the decor, plates, and music for their establishment, so are the servers just as much a part of the image you wish to portray and the clientele whose custom you seek.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

You want to get paid, be it wages or tips? You'd better cater to MY tastes, not yours!

We're in a "service business" and the customer pays the bills, all of the bills!

Keep the customer happy and we'll all be happy as well.

The converse is also 100% accurate.


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## springs1 (Sep 27, 2008)

ChefBazookas said:


> > When a server blames anyone else (granted, it's usually the kitchen) for anything that has resulted in poor service to the consumer it's a transgression in my opinion and for two reasons. First, and most importantly, a server shouldn't be in the business of giving any excuses. If a server allows something to go out that they know is wrong, it becomes their responsibility. If it's wrong, fix it or communicate the problem to the person who can fix it before it goes out. Whatever the problem, it shouldn't make it to the table to become the consumer's issue. If it does, it should simply be taken care of immediately.
> 
> 
> I 100% AGREE with this.
> ...


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## christy (May 13, 2011)

For me, having to wait for change from my bill ruins a good meal. How many times have you been left sitting there waiting for what seems like hours for change? Why provide excellent service during the meal and poor service afterwards?

Christy

Please visit us at http://toolsforkitchens.com/cookware/cuisinart-multiclad-pro for our review of Cuisinart MultiClad Pro cookware. We can help you find the best prices.


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

PeteMcCracken said:


> You want to get paid, be it wages or tips? You'd better cater to MY tastes, not yours!
> 
> We're in a "service business" and the customer pays the bills, all of the bills!
> 
> ...


I agree, but its rare that a server picks his or her guests.

Servers are there to serve. To provide the best dining experience that they can.

If that server does everything in their power to ensure that they DO have the time of their lives at the establishment...but the guests were unhappy because of the servers tattoos (providing they do no violate some sort of social code of ethics..like swastika tattoos or something like that), that just seems to be kind of petty to me. As in..it should not be something that ruins a meal you are paying 80$ a person for.

That person was hired at the establishment to do a job either by the F&B Director, the owner(s), or by some sort of interview process. They are in a place to interact with you and cater to your needs by virtue of someone above them thinking that they had what it took to be a great server and an effective member of the team.

If he or she couldnt do that job and do it effectively, they would not be in that position...tattoos/piercings or not.

Most, if not all fine dining places that I have worked have and enforce a very strict dress code for the FOH, to include long sleeved shirts, and do not allow shorts on the DR floor, and if someone does have facial piercings, they are to be removed and spacer put into place while on the floor.

That takes care of the arm and leg tattoos and "tacklebox" look.

If it is a tattoo that is above the collar...then dont look at it! Have an open mind, dont be too critical because that person made a personal decision to get a tattoo that is visible no matter what and try to make the most out of your meal and dining experience.



Rob W said:


> Quote:
> 
> Just to play a little devil's advocate here, I don't think you can tell someone that their heart is on the wrong place if they tip based on what the service looks like. Mainly because the fact is that the overall experience of the visit can be affected by the appearance of your server... Now, this can go one of two ways:
> 
> ...


Again, I agree. Its all apart of the dining package.

It would seem unlikely that you would find such a server in a fine or even family dining place, but, ok, I will bite.

If nothing more, its a great way to expose your kids to cultural diversity. A teaching tool, if you will.

Who knows...the kids might enjoy having the server that IS different.

Here is I guess the point I was trying to make to the OP - If the meal is great then its great. If the server exceeded the service standard, then it was exceeded. Tip accordingly. Dont take points off just because their choices in life are not something you agree with. I doubt they are trying to convince YOU to get a tattoo...so why should that even be a factor?

If the server has a visible tattoo...I cannot rationalize how that falls into the category of "The worst thing a server can do to make you mad".


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

ResQDoc said:


> I agree, but its rare that a server picks his or her guests.


Perhaps you misunderstood my post, as a "restaurant guest", I get to pick the server, not the reverse!

As a restaurant owner, I get to pick the server, not the reverse! And, for my target clientele, I cannot afford to hire anyone with tattoos, piercings, or other "choices" that my target clientele finds objectionable.

If one wishes to choose tattoos/piercings or other appearance altering choices, that's their choice, just do not expect others to accept or tolerate those choices. You may believe that "appearance" should be irrelevant, but, IMHO, that does not entitle you to dictate the behavior of others, no matter how unjust you may think that is. You made the choice, live with it!

If my clientele changes, my hiring practices may change as well, but I'm "in business" to pay the bills and make a living, not to accommodate the whims and personal choices of my employees, no matter how right they believe they are!

You desire to work for me in my restaurant? You keep your personal lifestyle choices, be they tattoos, piercings, clothes, politics, religion, soul-mates, lovers, beverages, smoking, etc., out of my restaurant! You don't pay my bills, my customers do!


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

PeteMcCracken said:


> Perhaps you misunderstood my post, as a "restaurant guest", I get to pick the server, not the reverse!
> 
> As a restaurant owner, I get to pick the server, not the reverse! And, for my target clientele, I cannot afford to hire anyone with tattoos, piercings, or other "choices" that my target clientele finds objectionable.
> 
> ...


You are 100% correct. Its YOU choice to hire the servers.

So is it fair for someone to be mad at a server that made the choice to get a tattoo, or, should they instead blame the ownership that hired them and be mad at them??

Again, I bring Volt up.

Fantastic experience.

It makes me sad though that people would think less of a place, especially in this day in age, because someone may have a tattoo on their neck.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

ResQDoc said:


> ...It makes me sad though that people would think less of a place, especially in this day in age, because someone may have a tattoo on their neck.


Yes, it may be "sad", but in an area where "neck ink" is predominately displayed by those connected with criminal street gangs, it is financial suicide for most employers of service employees.

Personally, I have little problem with those who make choices that I wouldn't. I have severe problems when those individuals expect me to ignore, nay accept, those choices when those choices have the potential to destroy my business.

As both a chef/owner and as a restaurant guest, I have little tolerance for ANY restaurant employee, or owner for that matter, who chooses to flaunt their personal choices in any manner that forces a guest to accept something the guest disapproves of, regardless as to what the choice(s) may be.

Perhaps there is a need for warning signs? /img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gifCAUTION! Some may find the appearance/beliefs/personal choices of the employees contrary or objectionable, enter at your own risk!


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

PeteMcCracken said:


> Yes, it may be "sad", but in an area where "neck ink" is predominately displayed by those connected with criminal street gangs, it is financial suicide for most employers of service employees.
> 
> Personally, I have little problem with those who make choices that I wouldn't. I have severe problems when those individuals expect me to ignore, nay accept, those choices when those choices have the potential to destroy my business.
> 
> ...


Do you put that into open table when you reserve somewhere?

"Please give us a server who does not have any neck or above the collar or cuff line tattoos. They are icky and make me feel unsafe."

Or would one call ahead: "Hi, yes, this is Mr. Smith. I have reservations for 4 tomorrow night. Tell me, does you establishment employee people that have any showing tattoos, or may at one time in their lives been involved in any "shady" activities, or crimes of any sort?"

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

ResQDoc said:


> Do you put that into open table when you


I rarely make reservations, and I've never used Open Table, for places I'm unfamiliar with and I always reserve the right to leave, as does any customer!

With regards to the caution sign, I neglected to add the smiley /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif because it was typed with my tongue firmly in my cheek!

Push your choices on me as a guest and I'll walk out! *(It is MY money and I'll spend it as I want!)*

Push your choices on me as an employer and you won't be hired! _*(It is MY money and I'll spend it as I want!)*_

Push your choices on my guests and your fired ON THE SPOT! *(You are endangering MY income!)*

Let me be VERY clear, I said PUSH your choices, I did NOT say make your choices. And for me, visible tattoos or piercings are "pushing your choices", just as any other "public displays" of any other "private choices" would be as well.

If one wants a successful career in a service industry such as restaurants, one should plan ahead and maximize the opportunities for success and recognize that personal choice(s) may limit those opportunities either in a minor or major way. If you are comfortable limiting your opportunities, so be it. Just do not expect me to adjust to you.

It saddens me to think that my views may offend you. However, IMHO, the world does not have to accept your choices, you have to accept the world's choices, no matter how distasteful it may be to you.

In other words, YOU have to live with the consequences of YOUR choices, I do not have to accept or tolerate your choices. That is MY choice, not yours!


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

PeteMcCracken said:


> I rarely make reservations, and I've never used Open Table, for places I'm unfamiliar with and I always reserve the right to leave, as does any customer!
> 
> With regards to the caution sign, I neglected to add the smiley /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif because it was typed with my tongue firmly in my cheek!
> 
> ...


No, you are correct and entitled to your opinions.

This is America and by virtue, a free nation.

Your views do not sadden me, as much as it does make me have a bit of sympathy for you.

I have never interviewed for a position in ANY restaurant and have been told, sorry, we cant hire you because you do not fit our appearance guidelines.

As far as I know...that is something you can be sued for if you were to ever admit that you did not hire someone that was obviously qualified based off of your thoughts of how they live their lifestyle outside of your place of business.

Its no different than not hiring someone thats gay...or a satanist. At least they have the luxury of being able to hide their choices.

The world is changing at a million miles a second my friend.

Not keeping up can possibly get you into trouble.

ESPECIALLY when you mix politics with business.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

ResQDoc, I sincerely hope you are merely playing devil's advocate, because if you believe what you're saying my advice is that you never open a restaurant of your own. It's destined to fail.

Rule #1 in the service world: The customer makes the rules.

Rule #2: For those times the customer is wrong, see rule #1.

Take your last point: No, I would never specify that when making reservations. But if I were assigned a server whose personal adornment disturbed me I would certainly request a different server. If that request is denied, then so, too, is my patronage. I'd pick myself and my party up and leave. The world is full of restaurants that recognize their function is to cater to my wishes and desires.

Let me ask you this. What if we have a server who provides ideal service, however you define it, but who, for reasons of personal choice, had not bathed in a week? Based on your argument, that would be perfectly ok, because the quality of the service was 110%, even though you objected to the miasma drifting across the table.

Do you really see that as any different than having a server covered up with tasteless tatoos and body piercings?


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## resqdoc (Apr 27, 2011)

KYHeirloomer said:


> ResQDoc, I sincerely hope you are merely playing devil's advocate, because if you believe what you're saying my advice is that you never open a restaurant of your own. It's destined to fail.
> 
> Rule #1 in the service world: The customer makes the rules.
> 
> ...


To be quite honest, while not claiming to have owned any establishments, I have been the Executive Chef at a couple of extremely successful places on the east coast, and haveI learned one thing about owning a restaurant: Either own the place, and hire good management and stay out of the way, or chose a side of the house and stick to it. Its almost impossible to do all three as an owner. It has been done, but it is rare.

As far as your little jab about whether or not I would be successful if I ever decided to take on an endeavor - You apparently know nothing about trending and how good restaurants become great ones.

One word - regulars.

If I open a restaurant, I am going to run it how I want to run it, and I will hire who I please.

I understand the juggling act involved in a night out, as well as the orchestration involved in an amazing dining experience...and I will tell you one other thing I have picked up along the way.

If people REALLY want to eat at your establishment, THEY DONT CARE WHAT THE SERVER LOOKS LIKE. They care about QUICK SERVICE but having the LUXURY of TAKING THEIR TIME. They care about CLEAN LINEN. Wine glasses that dont have SPOTS on them. They care about FEELING LIKE THEY ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE DINING IN THAT ROOM. They care about going and being made to feel like they DONT HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD except HOW FAR OUT DO I HAVE TO MAKE A RESERVATION?

99% of patrons, from my past 16 years in the industry, could care less about a nose stud, or a neck tattoo.

As far as the open table comment, yes. I was being facetious.

Define what offends you.

What would the deal breaker be?

There was nothing stated about tasteless tattoos vs. tattoos that are done in good taste. It simply stated "Tattoos above the neckline."

I am glad to see that at least someone knows the difference though.

Perhaps I should clear something up - Piercings can be taken out and spacers can be put in. Tattoos can be covered up to a point. I have never seen a server with hand tattoos. I have never seen a server with face tattoos. Why?

Because it is a bit extreme. People are not willing and ready to see that side of culture.

If I got that server at Palace Kitchen, Per Se or Trotters, would I be offended or ask for a different server?

No.

Why? Because obviously, they must do SOMETHING right, otherwise, they wouldnt have a job.

To think that someone would not hire someone else that has an immaculate resume, based soley on appearance would be "financial suicide" is ridiculous.

"Neck ink" is predominately displayed by those connected with criminal street gangs."

What an ignorant thing to say.

Know what else is connected to criminal street gangs?

Minorities.

Youths.

Give me a break.

As far as your question on bathing - Its null and void. I wouldnt ask for another server....I would not eat there based on the fact that it is unsanitary.

If you go to Europe though, you will run into PLENTY of places where the waitstaff smells of sweat and BO.

Why? Because deodorant is not as widely used there as it is here.

It does not mean they dont bathe.


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## youngfrenchchef (May 12, 2011)

You nailed it Jim. Having worked in restaurants as both cook and wait staff, I know for certain that many people unreasonably expect the kind of service you get at a fast food restaurant.Place your order and have it served to you in 2-5 minutes. Cooks try to prepare all the meals for a single table so they arrive at the table within a few minutes of each other. That way some of the dinner guests are not sitting there eating while the others watch them and none of them have to ask if everyone else minds if they start eating or not. Some orders are more involved and time consuming to prepare than others which is why some dinner guests get their order before the guest siting next to them and often times the cook staff will prepare the easier,faster orders to clear the order wheel as fast as possible. There is very little slack time in a busy kitchen and when you get a chance to clear the wheel you take it because it then gives you time to do more prep work for the next round of orders. A good kitchen with good staff, both cook and wait, operates like a finely tuned machine. Everything runs in smooth harmony. Cooks help each other and work in unison and waiters remind you of their orders and their tables.It's a joy to work in that environment and I've worked in both good and bad. You can either hate going to work or hope your shift never ends. A Rule of Thumb, if you walk into a restaurant and almost every table is full, expect to wait for your orders and don't blame the waiters.They want you to get your order as fast as you do.


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## rob w (May 18, 2011)

ResQDoc said:


> If people REALLY want to eat at your establishment, THEY DONT CARE WHAT THE SERVER LOOKS LIKE.


This statement here is, "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" or, "after this, therefore because of this." Your statement presupposes that the people already want to eat at your establishment because of all of the reasons that you listed. However, it doesn't acknowledge that the people who DON'T want to eat at your establishment might not do so because they do care what the server looks like.

Honestly, you guys are fighting a two headed battle as there are people who won't patronize a restaurant because they're uncomfortable with what someone might consider an outlandish appearance and those that would gladly give them their custom because they're fine with it. Can ya'll just agree to disagree so the thread can get back on topic?


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

I wonder if there is an underlying fundamental that is at issue rather than "appearance": that of individuals forcing the group to accept the individual's choices. If one chooses to "serve the public" then, IMHO, the "public" determines the choices and the individual either conforms or finds another vocation.


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## chrisbelgium (Oct 2, 2010)

*Quote RsQDoc; *

_...If you go to Europe though, you will run into PLENTY of places where the waitstaff smells of sweat and BO._

_Why? Because deodorant is not as widely used there as it is here...._

You're almost funny! As a European I wonder how much of the rest of your statements are true ...


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## rob w (May 18, 2011)

PeteMcCracken said:


> I wonder if there is an underlying fundamental that is at issue rather than "appearance": that of individuals forcing the group to accept the individual's choices. If one chooses to "serve the public" then, IMHO, the "public" determines the choices and the individual either conforms or finds another vocation.


That's kind of the common sense line of thinking... a business lives and dies by its customers. Tatted up servers would probably be fine in metropolitan areas, but not so much in a rural bible belt establishment.


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## french fries (Sep 5, 2008)

ResQDoc said:


> If you go to Europe though, you will run into PLENTY of places where the waitstaff smells of sweat and BO. Why? Because deodorant is not as widely used there as it is here.


Not to mention, no cars, no running water and no electricity. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


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## chef craig (May 31, 2011)

Being told: "no problem" every time I ask for something. "can I have more coffee"? No problem. "can we have our dessert to share"? No problem. "thank you for taking care of us"? No problem.

If it seemed like a _problem_, I probably wouldn't even ask you. Answering "no problem" infers it may have _been _a problem, but right now it's _not a problem._

Serving customers' meals should never infer there's _any _kind of problem!


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## simplycook (May 31, 2011)

Having to wait forever (especially when I'm pressed for time) to get my bill - and worst, awaiting change from large denomination in order to leave tip!  Can't leave all - still gotta buy milk!


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## wine not 0911 (Jun 24, 2011)

I have to comment on number 4 of your post:

Some restaurants require servers to work in a team where all servers are responsible to deliver food, refill drinks, pre-bus, fulfill requests (ketchup, hot sauce, this is too cold, etc.). Its called "the loop" as soon as they leave the kitchen (full hands means they have to carry something to the FOH with them) then make their loop around the dining room looking for anything they can do to help all guests enjoy their experience and keep the dining room flowing. Then after they have found something to do, they do it, and go back to the kitchen with full hands. You are tipping the server for being a good assistant to not only you but everyone in the dining room/bar. When more than one server assists you they are merely ensuring your happiness thus the server assigned to you will reap the benefits, but further more you will return to the establishment for the same attentive service. Not all restaurants have a good "team" flow, that's due to management whom probably suck at training and directing their staff.

Tip the server for being a good server, it doesnt matter who actually helped you the entire time unless your server was in the service station texting her boyfriend or picking her nose and blowing off her responsibilities to the dining room as a whole.


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## wine not 0911 (Jun 24, 2011)

I agree to the fullest. That is due to poor management training. Giving servers and host/hostesses scripts was the best idea when I was FOH manager. They were to say, "of course" "be right back" "I'm happy to" "just one moment please" etc.

Its never a PROBLEM for a server to do their job, because if it was they would not be working for me. To add to the dumb comments some of them make: "are you still working on that?" I absolutely hate when a server says that refering to my meal...I am not deconstructing the plate as a job, eating is not a chore, work, nor laboristic. I do not "work" on my meal I work my business, I work my phone, I work in my garden, I do NOT work on my meal; I enjoy my meal.

Instead of that dumb question they should check on their patrons by saying: "was there anything you needed to further enjoy your entre?" "would you like water?" "I have a delicious sauce that you might enjoy, let me get you a sample" or how about approaching the table and just saying, "that is a delicious ribeye isnt it? I had it yesterday and it is to die for, good choice!"


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## rob w (May 18, 2011)

wine not 0911 said:


> You are tipping the server for being a good assistant to not only you but everyone in the dining room/bar.


Have to seriously disagree here.

I tip the server for the service they give *me*. I could honestly care less that they're waiting hand and foot on the 12-top across the room and the couple next to us. If they're neglecting me and mine, they're not going to see nearly as much gratuity from me... And, actually, as a customer, it irks me that I don't have a consistent server at some places -- a relationship between a customer and server is a nice thing to build upon. It makes it easier for me to determine how much I want to tip based on their level of service and, cuts down on confusion and uncomfortable moments when someone I don't know asks me if I want a refill and, when they don't promptly return, my regular server pops by and asks me the same question.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

Rob W said:


> Have to seriously disagree here.
> 
> I tip the server for the service they give *me*. I could honestly care less that they're waiting hand and foot on the 12-top across the room and the couple next to us.


I have to seriously agree here!

A group of four of us went to a small Italian restaurant, and discovered that our waiter was also waiting on a huge table of TV journalists (on expense accounts, we could tell). Our guy spent all his effort fawning on them, buttering them up. laughing at their jokes, etc., while we waited a half hour to order. He made a couple of errors on our orders, never refilled our drinks, and essentially forgot us. We had to threaten to walk out without paying in order to get our checks, which were scribbled on Post-It notes with the sales tax wrong (he must have guessed the amounts) and the math incomprehensible. The engineering geek in the group (ahem!) had to whip out his calculator and re-figure everything. I forget what we tipped him, but we were not generous. I'm sure the journalists thought the service was great.

The place closed before we ever went back.


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## hookemandcookem (Feb 1, 2008)

ResQDoc said:


> Or would one call ahead: "Hi, yes, this is Mr. Smith. I have reservations for 4 tomorrow night. Tell me, does you establishment employee people that have any showing tattoos, or may at one time in their lives been involved in any "shady" activities, or crimes of any sort?"
> 
> /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


LOL! No, just let the guests choose when they show up. "Party of four? Will that be crime or non-crime?"


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

I was once served by a waiter in Papua New Guinea who had a bone in his nose.  The specialty that evening was monkey brains.  I did not comment on the bone and asked for the vegetarian plate.


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## innkeeper215 (Jun 14, 2011)

I hate all cell phone use by waiters/waitresses.  You aren't being paid to text or talk on your phone.

I don't know who decided to start serving lemons and limes in water, but it can be challenging to get plain water in ANY restaurant, even McDonalds.  I enjoy plain, clear, cold, ice water without any fruit.  If I wanted fruit, I would order a Gin and Tonic.  What I hate MUCH MORE is when I tell the waiter that I want "Ice Water without Lemons" and the either bring it with the lemon or bring a glass of water with no ice AND a lemon.  Which part of "Ice Water" did you NOT get!

I also hate when they say "Would you like change?" when the bill was 40.00 and you give them a 100.00.  Yeah, right!  The tip is 60.00!?!  Someone said that they let a server get away with that scenario.  I would have ripped the server and manager a new one.

But, thankfully, there are many many more professional servers than not.  So I love going out to eat.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Innkeeper215 said:


> But, thankfully, there are many many more professional servers than not. So I love going out to eat.


And we appreciate the professional ones all the more after reading all these stories!


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## jolie4686 (Jun 16, 2010)

A few weeks ago i went to dinner with my family the waitress began talking with my parents and within a few minutes had pulled up a chair and was telling us her life story, she stayed there for a half an hour and had to come back to get our orders...


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

TKChef said:


> I was once served by a waiter in Papua New Guinea who had a bone in his nose. The specialty that evening was monkey brains. I did not comment on the bone and asked for the vegetarian plate.


Well, now! There's that unique signature menu item you've been looking for!


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## just learning (Jul 22, 2011)

I have been a server and know their job can be tough.  The worst I read here was the not returning any change on a $42 check and arguing about serving the wrong beer and also being treated as though invisible(this sounds like the hostess did not do her job).

I have to say what I dislike most about servers is when I'm cooking and they come running in calling orders, this is what the POS system is for.


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## gourmetm (Jun 27, 2011)

Chef Craig said:


> Being told: "no problem" every time I ask for something. "can I have more coffee"? No problem. "can we have our dessert to share"? No problem. "thank you for taking care of us"? No problem.
> 
> If it seemed like a _problem_, I probably wouldn't even ask you. Answering "no problem" infers it may have _been _a problem, but right now it's _not a problem._
> 
> Serving customers' meals should never infer there's _any _kind of problem!


I feel similarly about the word "perfect." To hear that my choice of entree is "perfect," that the vegetable I've selected is also "perfect" and, surprise surprise, my beverage order is... you see where I'm going with this. Then again, when greeted in the restaurant with "how are you this evening," are you really going to take the question seriously?


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

I watch the stuff the Travel Channel foodies eat and wonder, should I?  Then my friend got food poisoning from eating grasshoppers fried in blood sausage in rancid oil in India.

 - I wonder how the service was...


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## madeitwithlove (Jul 5, 2011)

Hi  All

Hope I'm not too late to join in on this thread. The thing that makes me most mad when being served is when the waiter or waitress has a heavy cold.  They blow their nose right in front of everyone then proceed to either bring the cutlery or pour the drinks, yuk! then of course they bring the food and I wonder how many more times that snotty nose has been blow in the interim


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## chef matt (Aug 25, 2011)

The worst for me is when the waitress acts "put out" or inconvenienced by my presence. It's a simple job that should not inconvenience anyone.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Chef Matt said:


> The worst for me is when the waitress acts "put out" or inconvenienced by my presence. It's a simple job that should not inconvenience anyone.


I agree that service should not be an inconvenience to a server, but I disagree strongly that it's a simple job. It's not rocket science, but it certainly isn't simple.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Lentil, I'd like your further thoughts on why you think the job isn't simple.

I used to be a server. If my legs would let me, I'd still be doing that for a living. It can be frustrating. And tiring. And sometimes make you agree with my old professor who used to say, "the more I'm around people the more I like my dog." All those and more. But there's nothing particularly complex about the job.

_It's not rocket science,......._

Everything is relative. I have a friend who is a rocket scientist. And he hates that expression. Insists thkat there's nothing particularly difficult about rocket science, and, therefore, the phrase actually means the opposite of what's intended.


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

Matt...since you have posted that you are a home chef you obviously have no idea what a wait person does or else you would not have made that blanket statement.

Waiting tables is a noble profession, unfortunately many people who ARE wait staff really shouldn't be.

Those who are, should not have to make their living on the paltry tips that customers leave them. If the dining public really knew what the job entails, they'd be inclined to tip properly.

Wait staff are used and abused more then most professions, mainly because they take the blame when anything goes wrong in the back of the house. They are the representatives of the restaurant, and are what the customer sees. The job is anything but simple, and the fact that YOU think it is simple reflects the judgement of much of the dining public.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_......unfortunately many people who ARE wait staff really shouldn't be._

That is the crux of the matter, Chefross. It's unfortunate, but most servers, themselves, see the job as menial and unimportant. They're only doing it until something better comes along; or as a way of making extra cash without working too hard; or to stretch limited college funds, etc. This attitude is reflected in how they get the work done---or not done, as the case may be.

Those who see it as a real job, however, are the ones who perform in a professional manner. And who make a decent wage at it.

Their customers feel they were treated as special, that all their needs were taken care of, that the food they were served arrived expeditiously and was prepared correctly. If a problem should arise it gets resolved quickly and with no fuss. Their server was courteous without being obsiquious, friendly without being familiar, had a pleasant demeanor, was clean and neat in appearance. And because of that gets rewarded appropriately.

Yes, a professional server works hard. And is subject to all the abuse you itemize. But hard work is not the same thing as complicated. The fact is, serving really is a rather simple job. And that, perhaps, is where we disagree.

I'm always amused, too, at the number of posts on this and similar threads, that start "I was a server, and you can't make a decent wage at it because...." Almost always, among the becauses, is the minimum wage issue. I'd be willing to bet that those who express that opinion fall into the first category rather than the second. Me, I wouldn't work that hard for a measly $7.35/hour.

When I was serving I took home more than the chef. But, to be fair, that was at a high-end restaurant in a resort community where those who left 30% were low-end tippers. So, let's look at some realistic numbers instead:

It's the lunch rush at a causual-dining establishment. Typically, you have four or five tables. In order to minimize your potential income, let's say four. Average tab on a four-top, nowadays, is about 30 bucks on the low end. And you'll turn them at least once in an hour. Let's assume, further, that all your customers are on the chinzy side, and you average only 10% in tips.

Four tables, turned at least once, results in a total tab of $240. Ten percent of that is $24. Deduct 20% of that to represent what you share with the support staff, and you'll have netted $19.20 plus whatever the current wait-staff minimum wage is (it was two dollars and change, last time I looked. But is probably higher, now).

Let's weight it even more in favor of minimum wage: You only have three tables, and, although they are four-tops, average only three patrons each. So, that's six times, call it $24, for a total of $144. Ten percent of that is $14.40, less 20% equals $11.52 plus the server's minimum wage.

Would anyone with the brains God gave a turnip really want to exchange any of that for a flat $7.35? And, don't forget, from your minimum wage you would still have to take care of the support staff.

You don't even have to look at casual dining, let alone upscale dining, to find this differential. I have a friend who is a server at what amounts to being a short-order dinner---part of a chain. Typically, during the daytime, there is a short-order cook and two "servers." I say servers but they are more than that. They serve, for sure, working both a counter and tables. But they also do all the bussing, much of the prep work, even, when the cook is in the weeds or on break, some of the cooking. They mop the floor, take out the trash, and, if needed, clean the flattop.

The customer base does not number among the big spenders when it comes to tipping.

And yet, when I recently asked her if she'd prefer working for the minimum wage versus tips. She gave me sort of a puzzled look, and replied, "why would I take that sort of pay cut?"


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

While I agree with your explanation (and thank you for that)  you are assuming quite a lot in that so many tables will be turned so many times through out the day. This is merely an average estimate and I understand that. The server makes 3-4 times what they'd make in a hourly wage but life being what it is, this scenario is few and far between. Most of the time in many casual "chain" restaurants the staff still must pay the government so much of a percentage of tips based on the ticket sales each week. If the wait person does make enough to cover those taxes, the money has to come from their own pocket.

Getting back to the original topic, that being the quality of server, and your right, a lot of it has to do with attitude.

The work is not hard, but it takes a combination of many talents to pull it off correctly.

A person who is outgoing, patient, observant, humorous, can handle pressure, all make a good server.

The fact is that manglement doesn't always interview correctly to look for these traits.

Most of the older generation "Ma and Pa's" don't

Usually, (and I mean this generally please) most chain corporations employ human resource departments to help weed out the good, the bad, and the........

I'm sure you'll agree that maintaining a well educated staff makes work so much more enjoyable......


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_Most of the time in many casual "chain" restaurants the staff still must pay the government so much of a percentage of tips based on the ticket sales _

Although your point is valid, you aren't phrasing it quite right. The IRS assumes that you earned a certain percentage in tips, and your taxes are based on that presumption. In other words, if the total of your tickets was 1,000, and the IRS figure is 10%, your taxes are computed on you earning $100 in tips.

While this is true (not just in chain restaurants, btw) the figure is relatively low. That is, compared to what is deducted from the paycheck of a "real" job.

I have no idea what the figure is now, but when the IRS started its presumptive income policy for food service people the standard tip was 15%. For tax purposes, however, the government assummed 8%. And there were people even then that complained they weren't making enough to pay their taxes.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you're not making 8% overall on your covers than you're in the wrong job. And the same would be true today, whatever the figure happens to be.

This, too, is why not putting tips on plastic is merely habit with me. When I was serving the IRS presumption hadn't applied. So it had no way of knowing how much I actually earned, except for those tickets paid with credit cards---which, in those days, weren't nearly as common as they are today. IRS has always had a problem with anyone involved in a cash business. In the case of food service they found a way around that problem. Plus, of course, if your actual income is greater than the presumed income, you compute taxes on the actual numbers.

Certainly I made assumptions in my post. How else can you discuss something like that? But I spelled them all out, so that we would be on the same page. And I intentionally weighted all the figures to try and make minimum wage a better deal. F'rinstance, although you may be assigned four-tops, the reality is that sometimes, during lunch, there will only be singles, doubles, and triples at them. But to balance that I took away a table, and had the average tip down at 10%. So I'm pretty confident that my figures would be representative of the low side.

If I were only trying to "prove" that the current system is better I would have used figures representative of a fine dining restuarant on a Saturday night. But that would have proved nothing, because it doesn't get more atypical than that---although the reality is that many servers at fine dining places put up with the slow periods during the week precisely because they make up for it on Friday and Saturday nights. And they have a point, because if we're going to compare serving to real jobs, then the comparable figures would be based on weekly paychecks. So, if you only made $20-30 per day during the week, but $2-300 on the weekend nights, that would still be a pretty good weekly wage. Based on actually being paid for 40 hours, minimum wage comes to $294/week. If you're not at least doubling that at a fine-dining restaurant, shame on you.

As to turning the tables, that's why I chose the lunch rush for my example. Sure, there's an occasional dawdler. But table-turning at lunch is self-fulfilliing, as workers tend to get in and get out as quickly as possible.

All that aside, you put your finger on the real point: "_many people who ARE wait staff really shouldn't be." _All I'm saying is that those who agitate for minimum wage probably fall into that category. After all, if performance doesn't count then there is no incentive to perform. If you're going to get paid the same whether you provide excellent service or sloppy service, why make the effort to be excellent? I know many people who are wait staff; good, bad, and indifferent. Not one of the good ones would want to work for minimum wage.


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

Points well taken, and might I add that with today's Point of Sales computerized systems in place the server always knows their ticket sales totals. Of course many places do not have a POS system and still rely on paper tickets on the spindle.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

KYHeirloomer said:


> This, too, is why not putting tips on plastic is merely habit with me. When I was serving the IRS presumption hadn't applied. So it had no way of knowing how much I actually earned, except for those tickets paid with credit cards


You've just converted me to a cash tipper.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

LOL wow!  As a former server myself I have to be honest, I'm franky amazed at some of the borderline idiot answers I've seen posted.  "I hate my server telling me their name.  I hate my server displaying personality."  Really?  Why'd you go out to eat?  You could've easily had a nice, home cooked meal and invited friends over without having to worry about socializing.

Believe it or not, it's pretty much a necessity for a server to tell you their name.  Unless you're one of those jack asses who likes to snap their fingers or call the server "Hey you" or "Boy" or something, which will most likely just get your food delayed by a VERY long time.  Why should I be concerned with the quality of service for a table that doesn't have the decency or respect to call a working professional by their given name?

Do yourselves and me a favor and NEVER go out to eat if you're really put off by a server TELLING YOU THEIR NAME.  Really?  Laff!   Idiots.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Also, @KYHeirloomer...  I find it remarkable that you're a food writer and you still think servers have an easy job.  You have obviously either never worked as a server or did so in a high-end restaurant with low volume, where you can make good money in a short period of time.  However this typically requires an A-Z knowledge of not only every item on the menu but each individual ingredient down to seasoning salt, preparation methods, what wine goes well with what meals, etc.  It's not like you can just walk in off the street and get a 5 star restaurant serving job.

I've been a server at some very high volume and low-priced restaurants where the norm is running like crazy and waiting on 30-40 tables in a night to make a living.  You wanna say it's easy?  Go do 1500 dollars in sales for the night when the items are 10 bucks or less on the menu, and tell me it's easy.  What a joke.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)




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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

This article on server etiquette makes good reading


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## innkeeper215 (Jun 14, 2011)

Chef Craig said:


> Being told: "no problem" every time I ask for something. "can I have more coffee"? No problem. "can we have our dessert to share"? No problem. "thank you for taking care of us"? No problem.
> 
> If it seemed like a _problem_, I probably wouldn't even ask you. Answering "no problem" infers it may have _been _a problem, but right now it's _not a problem._
> 
> Serving customers' meals should never infer there's _any _kind of problem!


This is a minor peeve of mine, but I hate it when you say, "Thank you" and the waiter or waitress says, "You're Very Welcome." That extra "very" seems to have become the new buzz word. It seems like EVERYONE says it now. I'd rather be simply "welcome," thank you.


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

It's probably my innate sense of (British) reserve - but I don't WANT waiters/waitresses to become my friends.  I don't need to know their name, I don't need them to recite what 'today's specials' might be:  that's why a restaurant gives us menus, or writes them on a 'specials' board.  Just seat us, leave the menus, ask about drinks and then come and take my order.

Mind you, I also hate the 'hover-ers'...  re-filling my glass every time I've taken one sip etc.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Regardless of whether you want to get to know someone or not, it's simply common courtesy to at least know the NAME of the person serving you.  What if someone that was with you had a bad experience with that individual but was too "courteous" to mention it at the time?  Are you going to call to complain about them and describe them physically?  What if someone else appears similar but it's someone completely different?

A part of person to person interaction as in the hospitality industry demands a certain level of familiarity between individuals by nature.  Saying you don't want to know your server is saying you don't care about that individual whatsoever, and if that's the case, you're most likely not a very generous tipper either.

Sometimes instances arise in which you need to get your server's attention.  If someone spills something on the table or needs more sauce or a refill because they sucked down their fifth coke in 25 seconds, they need to know my name or I will NOT respond to them.  "Hey, you" is simply disrespectful on the part of the guest, and regardless of the age-old addage, the customer is NOT always right, unfortunately. 

Also, not to put too fine a point on it, if you're only attending restaurants with low volume they're either in bad shape - In which case, do you REALLY want to eat there? - Or, they're a higher-end establishment which, let's face it, the majority of consumers can't afford to regularly visit.  That's why so many Darden and Brinker concepts are so massively popular.  Sure, Emeril's may make more revenue per individual store compared to the average Macaroni Grill, but if you compare yearly revenue it's a vastly different picture.

Once again, nobody's trying to be your best friend, but a little cordiality and a simple introduction shouldn't really be so off putting to the average person.  I suppose some people have social issues.


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

For your information:  I do not eat in chain style restaurants.  If I'm paying dosh to eat in a Gordon Ramsay or Atul Kochhar or Marcus wareing or Tom Kitchin restaurant - I do NOT wish to befriend the waiters.  I don't introduce myself to shop assistants, neither do I expect to know their names - I buy the products they are selling and say 'thank you' for service.  that's enough.

These people are serving me food, that I've PAID FOR. That's all they are paid to do and all I expect them to do.  I would NEVER summon assistance by calling out 'hey you' or waving a napkin.  Neither would I want to eat in an establishment where someone has necked down 25 cokes!

If I had a problem with a waiter - or anyone in my party had a problem, then I would ask to speak to the Maitre D' after paying the bill and simply state my concerns.

I know you are a waiter - but YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND!


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

*LOL.* Some people are going to make issue of whatever it is. _You told me your name; You didn't tell me your name; You were polite; You were not polite; You're left-handed; You're right-handed; It's Tuesday, I want it to be Wednesday. I'm paying, so whatever entitlement I can think of is mine, and that is the end._ *LOL. Crack me up.*


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

I suppose I should reiterate my previous point by restating an excerpt from my previous post.  Just because YOU can afford to eat at high-end establishments every time you decide to dine out doesn't mean the average consumer can.  Serving as a profession in general has shifted more toward the casual dining atmosphere for many reasons, not the least of which is the more personable persona of the average wait staff in these establishments.  Another reason is, of course, the economic downturn we've all had to witness in this country in the last ten years.

Of course fine dining servers aren't expected to be nearly as friendly as casual establishments demand.  They've also typically got an extensive wine knowledge, and could almost prepare every item on the menu themselves if need be.  These are individuals who know enough about the restaurant in which they're employed that it could almost require a degree it seems.

However, since this entire post is not specific to fine dining and is instead geared toward servers in general, I'm pretty sure my points are valid, and thus focusing on fine dining establishments only makes those opinions provided by individuals who only frequent such less valid.  In my opinion, of course.

The AVERAGE person goes to casual dining restaurants much more often than Gordon Ramsay or Atul Kochhar (I won't even pretend to know what that one is, there aren't any here that I know of).  MOST people in this deprived and suffering economy can't afford to drop three figures on each meal out.

And just because you paid for the food doesn't mean that the server's any less important.  Is our species really so detached from itself nowadays that even knowing someone's name is an annoyance?  In my opinion that's simply a sad state of affairs.

And most shop assistants (totally different industry, but I digress) have their names on their shirts plain as day for you to see, why would you need to ask?

Know who else has their names on their shirts?  Doctors.  Mechanics.  Even lawyers have plaques with their names clearly visible on their desks.  All of these are working professionals and all deserve the same amount of respect.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

IceMan said:


> *LOL.* Some people are going to make issue of whatever it is. _You told me your name; You didn't tell me your name; You were polite; You were not polite; You're left-handed; You're right-handed; It's Tuesday, I want it to be Wednesday. I'm paying, so whatever entitlement I can think of is mine, and that is the end._ *LOL. Crack me up.*


Lol very good points. I just personally believe there are far more important aspects of a dining experience to be concerned with than the fact that the server introduced themselves. I mean, really?


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Also, I'd like to personally apologize for my scathing remarks in my first post in this thread, it was immature and uncalled for.  I suppose like anyone else here I let my emotions get the best of me sometimes


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

I don't live in your country.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Yeah, and the pound is what, 1.5 times as strong as the dollar now?  At least?

If you want to have a server that completely ignores you altogether and simply goes through the motions with you, that's your prerogative.  Me, personally, I prefer a little personality in the people presenting my food.  And a good server can tell the difference pretty quickly.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Nosdrahcir said:


> ...Know who else has their names on their shirts? Doctors. Mechanics. Even lawyers have plaques with their names clearly visible on their desks. All of these are working professionals and all deserve the same amount of respect.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

No offense, but you're simply wrong.

From Dictionary.com:

[h2]pro·fes·sion·al[/h2]   [pruh-fesh-uh-nl]  Show IPA

adjective

1. 
following an occupation as a means of livelihood or for gain: a professional builder.

2. 
of, pertaining to, or connected with a profession: professional studies.

3. 
appropriate to a profession: professional objectivity.

4. 
engaged in one of the learned professions: A lawyer is a professional person.

5. 
following as a business an occupation ordinarily engaged in as a pastime: a professional golfer.

EXPAND

I see nothing regarding licenses or degrees in there anywhere.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Oh, and one other thing...  Though not positions requiring a college degree, mechanics, electricians, and plumbers all DO require certification. That means schooling, testing, and proving that you're competent enough to do the job correctly.  This is pretty much parallel to professionalism in my book.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Post deleted


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Post deleted


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Post deleted


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

WOW. A bunch of deleted posts lately in this thread.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Yup, I KNOW when I'm outnumbered...



IceMan said:


> WOW. A bunch of deleted posts lately in this thread.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

PeteMcCracken said:


> This article on server etiquette makes good reading


Yes, it does! Thanks for posting it. I don't think anybody here has (yet) mentioned being called "Buddy" by a server; I laughed at that point in the article.

The article's suggestion that having a server as your ally is interesting. I know that nice things happen to us when we call the server by name (even if she or he has not introduced her/himself). And if you remember their name and call them by it on your next visit before you could possibly have seen their badge, well, you might well have made their day. They're human, after all, and I don't know about anybody else, but I'd much rather be waited on by a _happy_ server.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Actually, that whole "Ten Commandments..." series is fascinating. Thanks again!


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## chefross (May 5, 2010)

Nosdrahcir said:


> I suppose I should reiterate my previous point by restating an excerpt from my previous post. Just because YOU can afford to eat at high-end establishments every time you decide to dine out doesn't mean the average consumer can. Serving as a profession in general has shifted more toward the casual dining atmosphere for many reasons, not the least of which is the more personable persona of the average wait staff in these establishments. Another reason is, of course, the economic downturn we've all had to witness in this country in the last ten years.
> 
> Of course fine dining servers aren't expected to be nearly as friendly as casual establishments demand. They've also typically got an extensive wine knowledge, and could almost prepare every item on the menu themselves if need be. These are individuals who know enough about the restaurant in which they're employed that it could almost require a degree it seems.
> 
> ...


There should be no difference in service whether in a fine dining establishment OR casual. Serving is serving is serving...the attributes should be the same. Unfortunately the public tolerates mediocre service from a casual place while never accepting this from a better place.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

What exactly creates a correlation between introducing yourself and being a mediocre server?  I'm sorry, I just don't think that's correct.  I do find it interesting, however, that all of the people that are against any sort of familiarity on the part of a server seem to be working on the other side of the window.  Makes me wonder if perhaps some of these chefs simply don't have customer service skills


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

I'm not a chef - nor do I work in a kitchen in any capacity.

I think you should agree to disagree:  ie - you think as a sever that it's your 'right' to introduce yourself to me.    My view:  Why?  I am usually eating a meal with friends and that is where my interests lie - not in the total stranger who is being paid to bring my food or bring the wine.  If I WANT a recommendation say, for instance, about a wine, then I'll ask the sommelier!

Oh and by the way?  The comment where you say that ALL shop workers have their names on their shirts?  Nope, not in the UK and not in many areas of Europe where I visit and shop.  Neither does my husband, who is a member of one of the professions you also say have name badges.

You seem to have a real chip on your shoulder...


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

I have a chip on my shoulder because I'm stating the way things are in the country in which I live?  As we've already covered I don't live in the UK. 

It's not that I think it's the server's "right" as much as their "responsibility" to at least make sure you're informed of WHO is going to be taking care of the table during the course of their stay.  It's a simple matter of common courtesy to at least know someone's name if you're going to be dealing with that person for a significant period of time.

As far as ALL shop workers, etc., that was an obvious exaggeration on my part, as well as the fact that I said ALL of those opposed are on the other side of the window.  I'm merely making an observation based on this thread in generalizations as far as opinionated statements.

I find it remarkable that people are so adamant to defend their position of non-personable and antisocial tendencies while in a public setting, but to each their own, I suppose.  Like I stated previously, if you want a server that simply goes through the motions with you, that's your prerogative.  I simply find it rude and a little insulting that you're apparently confusing "server" with "servant".  They're there to serve you,  but they're another person just like you, and every bit as important as you are. 

As far as the server being paid for the service, the only real payment servers in this country make is tips.  Besides that I believe the minimum nowadays here is 4.35 per hour.  So, you know, god forbid someone shows a little personality in an effort to make a little more income when dealing with other people.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

In either case I think I've clearly stated my two cents, so I'll leave you all to your own opinions.  I just wish you'd reconsider looking down on telling someone your name of all things.  I mean, really?  There are far more important things in the world to get worked up over.  But, not for everyone, I guess.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Perhaps the thread title should be something along the lines of "Tips, how to avoid losing them" or "Impact of server's actions on tips".

Off the top of my head, servers risk substantial tip reduction by:

Not being attentive to the customer's needs or wants, or
Not respecting the fact that the customer is in charge, not the server, or
Volunteering information not specifically requested by the customer, or
Allowing anything to distract from serving the customer, or
the obvious, poor food safety, personal hygiene, brusk or condescending attitude.
Servers enhance tips by:

Prompt, efficient service without relying on customer prompts, and
Quick and accurate response to customer requests, and
Putting the customer first and foremost.
Now, that being said, if the establishment promotes anything other than food service, i.e. entertainment, unusual atmosphere, then the server must conform to management standards and those management standards, not the servers, control the impact on tips.

What may be the standard for Chili's, Applebee's, TGIF's, Olive Garden, or any other specific chain, is not universal just as the standards for French Laundry, Babbo, or The Franciscan are not universal. The establishment sets the standards for service, not the server.

If the management dictates a specific action, do it. The customers of that establishment expect it. If management does not dictate specific action(s), be very wary of "doing it your way" without being aware that whatever you think is right and proper may not be perceived by those who tip voluntarily. You, as a server, have one over-riding need, the need to get the customer to part with their money, do anything to offend the customer's sensibilities and watch your tip opportunity shrink before your eyes.

I do not voluntarily patronize casual dining chains because I object to management's attitude and approach. Why? Because I am an individual and I do not wish to be treated the way a majority of chain establishments have decided I should be treated. That is my choice and I exercise it freely.


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## ishbel (Jan 5, 2007)

Pete

As we Scots would say 'Gaun yersel'!!!!!


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## willtherebefood (Aug 10, 2010)

I'll give you the abbreviated list. 

1.  Not refilling drinks.

2.  Staff that spend twenty minutes chatting with a table of their friends; take a break to dump my food on my table, and then go back to chatting with their pals without seeing if I need anything. 

3.  Waiting twenty minutes to get the check when all the food and drinks are gone. 

4.  When they ask how the food is but don't take the answer seriously.  I was recently served a mouth searing course.  When the waitress asked how everything was, I said it was too hot to tell.  Rather than saying, oh I'm sorry or I hope you did not burn your mouth, she smirked and walked away. 

5.  When they act like they have not idea what I'm talking about.  Me: "I'll have the ravioli."  Waiter:  "Ummm, Which?  Show me."  I point out the only ravioli listed on the menu.  "Oh, you mean, ravioli in the style of the old woman who lived in the shoe."  Yes, the only ravioli you serve.


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## manni (Sep 19, 2011)

Just giving the general attitude problem, like they are better than you.

Chewing gum while taking your order

Automatically expect to receive (decent) tips after providing bad service


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## eubbie (Nov 6, 2011)

Recently at one of my favorite restaurants, the cork broke on the bottle as the server was opening it. It was obviously dried out and a sign the wine wasn't stored properly. The server decanted the wine and had us taste it.  We refused the bottle. It was not good.  The manager came over with a second bottle and said that if she opened it we had to accept it because she couldn't afford to have us keep refusing wine. Really? We are supposed to happily accept and pay $80 for a bad bottle of wine? We passed on the wine, finished our appetizers and left without ordering dinner. I refuse to be treated like that. There are too many really great restaurants in this town to suffer through that type of service.


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## rosiemb (Dec 13, 2011)

eubbie said:


> Recently at one of my favorite restaurants, the cork broke on the bottle as the server was opening it. It was obviously dried out and a sign the wine wasn't stored properly. The server decanted the wine and had us taste it. We refused the bottle. It was not good. The manager came over with a second bottle and said that if she opened it we had to accept it because she couldn't afford to have us keep refusing wine. Really? We are supposed to happily accept and pay $80 for a bad bottle of wine? We passed on the wine, finished our appetizers and left without ordering dinner. I refuse to be treated like that. There are too many really great restaurants in this town to suffer through that type of service.


What a strange response considering most vendors will take back a bottle of bad wine?

Personally though, I would never spend $80 on a bottle of wine.


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

RosieMB said:


> What a strange response considering most vendors will take back a bottle of bad wine?
> 
> Personally though, I would never spend $80 on a bottle of wine.


I suppose the response would then indicate that the manager made the wine herself in her bathtub, or obtained it from a source nearly as dodgy.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

_We passed on the wine, finished our appetizers and left without ordering dinner._

Good for you, Eubbie!

One reason service, overall, is so bad is that far too many people accept shoddyness. It's easier to do that then make a fuss, they reason. So they accept an 80 dollar bottle of bad wine, or automatically leave a tip even if the service was bad, etc.

What they don't realize is that they're rewarding poor food and poor service. And maintaining shoddy practices. I would bet money, for instance, that the restaurant you were in decants that wine and uses it for its by-the-glass service.

Hopefully you contacted the owners and let them know why you won't be back.


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## margcata (Sep 18, 2011)

Inefficiency on the whole ... could run the gamut of A to Z ... Inefficiency on part of the server (s ) and / or the food being below par ... I have rarely encountered a nightmare over a dinner. On rare occasion, I have eaten at a poor choice lunch venue with colleagues or taken a suggestion from a workmate --- who does not share my " palate "  however, a lesson to be learnt and no returning for 2nds.   Happy Holidays. Margcata


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## livetoeat (Dec 24, 2011)

I agreed I have had this happened to me many times before. I don't know if this is intentionally done or what but it just bugs me.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

It seems to me that service people are trained not to make eye contact after the food is placed in front of you . If you need anything they forgot you cant get their attention. WE the American Public foster bad service. If its bad we tip anyway. DON'T,, leave a note telling them how bad they were . If you tip them they think they are doing a good job and won't improve. I learned that in anything the only way to get people to do anything is affecting them through their pocket. I know I sound terrible, but I am sick of bad service in particular bad service with an attitude. I think in some places the training must last at least 45 seconds or at least that is the way it seems..

Merry Christmas to all.


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

I think it is time for a new thread?


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

The truth sometimes hurts.                   Merry Christmas


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

TKChef said:


> I think it is time for a new thread?


Well, it is at least time to switch from "Merry Christmas" to "Happy New Year!"


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## blisseh (Jan 2, 2012)

When there is a offer on, for example £10 for a meal if you leave the table before 7pm, and at 10 to 7 you ask for the bill, and they don't bring you it until past 7, so you end up paying extra./img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Oh gosh how I hate it when the server goes into a litany of special drinks and lists all of them even though I have no intention to drink. Also, when listing food specials please do so in a conversational tone. If you spout it out like you've memorized a script I often don't understand a word of it.

The first question I always ask my server before they even have a chance to ask me what I'd like to drink is "what's your soup of the day?" If the answer is 'I don't know" I instantly get a little ticked off.



chefedb said:


> It seems to me that service people are trained not to make eye contact after the food is placed in front of you . If you need anything they forgot you cant get their attention. WE the American Public foster bad service. If its bad we tip anyway. DON'T,, leave a note telling them how bad they were . If you tip them they think they are doing a good job and won't improve. I learned that in anything the only way to get people to do anything is affecting them through their pocket. I know I sound terrible, but I am sick of bad service in particular bad service with an attitude. I think in some places the training must last at least 45 seconds or at least that is the way it seems..
> 
> Merry Christmas to all.


I agree, I never feel obliged to leave a tip if the service is bad but I'm made to feel guilty by my dining companions. When I waited tables I knew when I had made mistakes and how they impacted my tips and often I agreed with the customer that I should have taken better care - of course a lot of things were out of my control like giving me too many tables to keep up with, mistakes in the kitchen, or having to do extra duties like hostess when I shouldn't have had to do all those things at once. I hear a lot of people say "I was a waitress once so I ALWAYS leave 20% because I know how it is." Well I know how it is too but that doesn't mean I will always tip well just because I was once a waitress. And call me crazy but anyone who's been a waitress knows that you get stiffed loads of times eventhough you've tried your hardest. Sometimes people are cheap regardless of how well you treat them.

Anyway, I don't think you should leave a note. If I found a note like that on a table I'd throw it out and be ticked off. Better to talk to a manager, then you'll see real results.


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## hideoutchef (Sep 14, 2011)

Empty drinks, if they hit empty so goes the tip.

 My number one pet peeve is "Do you need change?"  If they have the balls to ask that, I have the balls to leave next to nothing for the tip.  And a sub note on that, if they are not smart enough to bring change in small enough denominations for me to make change, they won't get much of a tip.  Here's an example: I give a $20 bill on a $9.75 bill and the waitperson brings back a $10 bill and twenty five cents, they are going to get a $.25 tip.  Surely they don't think that I am going to give them a $10 tip!  I tip well, but not THAT well (usually around 30% for good service).  And anyone that says that they get offended if a server brings back the proper change for someone to make a tip is usually a cheapskate that doesn't tip well anyway and is just using that as an excuse anyway to self justify not giving a proper tip.

If they disappear once the food is delivered and don't show up again until time to deliver the bill, but that kind of goes and and hand with the empty drinks.

And if they just can't seem to get things right.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

This wasn't a server, but a guy at the meat department in a grocery store. Now I know that the word "tandoori" is pronounced as "tan dory". Thanks for the correction.


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## countrykook (Apr 8, 2012)

wait staff drops menu on table while looking other direction and racing madly somewhere else - infuriating!


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## zoebisch (Apr 9, 2012)

Not doing their job? 

When you get exposed to what service _should be_ where the waiter can tell you what the (blackboard) menu is, (has tried everything on it too) can _honestly_ recommend according to what you are looking for, remembers your order sans notebook, shows up exactly when you need or want them without you feeling "hawked", is courteous and leaves you feeling comfortable...then you know when the server can't tell you anything about what is on the (permanent) menu, has tried less than half of it, tells you the special of the day is what they recommend (even though they only _heard_ it was good), screws up your order (not talking a kitchen error but transcribes the wrong thing onto the notepad), is late with your order (as evidenced by the time under the lamp) and never there to fill up your empty glass of water that you are practically begging for or "hawks" you when you pretty much obviously don't need anything and leaves you feeling like you need to leave to make room for the next 4 top....well you get the point.

Granted some places you kind of expect those respective levels of service but 20% is 20%, you work for it or you don't. Lowered minimum wage aside, they have a job to do, plain and simple.

If I were forced to pick one thing though it's not getting my food out when the order is ready. Those lamps are the death of an order and ever second that ticks by is one second closer to a bad experience. I can understand this a little better when they are understaffed (not the servers fault but the host/manager/owner usually) and have to make up for it, and a good server will often be cognizant of this fact and relay that to you (yes often as an excuse: "sorry but we're so busy") which usually makes the situation much better...but when there are 3 servers and like 2 tables seated and your server never shows up and then brings you food that's been sitting....give me a break! The sad part is they probably never make the connection to the 10% tip because there is a lot of inappropriate tippers out there anyway which muddies the waters.

I should start just telling them...that would most likely be the best thing I can do for everyone...I dunno.


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## colin (Sep 12, 2011)

#410 is a key difference between perfunctory and good service - good service keeps track of where you are in the meal and anticipates your needs, including the need to pay and get out when you're done.

I've learned to just walk over to the register and ask for the bill and pay it, if it doesn't turn up promptly at the table -- better than trying to get someone's attention to bring the bill, then trying to get someone's attention to take it away again, and then waiting for it to come back.

... and I still leave my standard 15-20%.  I think of it as part of the price.   I'm not managing the restaurant, and it's not *my* job to assess performance of staff.  Possibly good or bad feelings may bump the tip up or down a tad, but really, this whole petty-despot reward-or-punish thing is silly.  I just want some good food and drink and a chance to relax.


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

The number one thing I abhor with a fury of a thousand demons are ditzy waitresses who try to be cute, with their nasal chirpy voices. Something about the way they look and sound makes me feel homicidal. There are so many restaurants I would love to patronize more but will not step foot inside because these girls are too annoying, and it out-weighs all other positive aspects of the dining experience.

I also don't like when they try to act flirty with my husband, and totally ignore me, thinking they're going to get a bigger tip if they honey-up to the man at the table. When that happens, I suggest to my husband he tips them a dollar, not a cent more. Nothing gives me more pleasure than sticking it to them like that. On the flip side, we tip overly well when we get good 'normal" servers.


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## chefwriter (Oct 31, 2012)

My peeves include-

holding the water/drinks glasses by the rim. I don't know where your fingers have been.

Asking if I want change. 

My name is.... and I'll be your server. (who else would you be?)

Asking if the table is ready to order when we just got menus handed to us. 

I could probably repost this as a new thread but I've found that training for waitstaff in the US isn't up to the same level as training for cooks. In most restaurants there is no cohesive program for training the FOH and no concern that there should be one. Most of the time I have problem with the server, it isn't hard to figure out that the problem typically stems from management failing to have any ongoing training program for the employees. New hires seem to get handed off to someone else who may or may not know how to serve properly and nothing ever changes.This is true for chain and independent restaurants at all levels.  Perhaps the schools could offer a certificate in FOH  to at least establish some general awareness that there is a right and wrong way. 

Hospitality is not the same as service.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

In general a server should never touch the glass once it's on the table.


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## chefwriter (Oct 31, 2012)

Sorry. Should have been more specific. 

Delivering drinks while holding glass by the rim. Convenient for them perhaps but not very sanitary.


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## chefboyarg (Oct 28, 2008)

I recently received the worst service since moving to my current city - sat down at the bar and told the bartender I was meeting someone. He didn't bother Asking if I wanted anything to drink while I waited and moved on to chatting with his fellow bartender. My girlfriend arrives and it takes ages to even get water. When that comes around I quickly jump in so we can get a drink. It took a good 10-15mins to get 1 beer poured on what looked like a slow night. We are given our drinks without even so much as a "would you like some food?" The bartender goes back to doing his end of night count while the only server in the room chats with friends. I mention to my girlfriend if they don't take my food order by the time I'm done my beer were paying for the drinks and leaving. They ask about food when I'm 1/2 done the beer so i order. The food comes out promptly but wasn't that great. We were checked in on once. I left a 20% tip for fear of being called out or named at the resto when what I wanted to leave 0. Oh yeh we didn't even get a "thanks" or "goodbye" when we left. This used to be our late night date night place we would visit after my shift pretty much every sunday night. Why? Because the server we regularly had was AWESOME. Pretty much the antithesis of our most recent experience.


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## shanks (Aug 25, 2009)

When I am working: chit-chase or start talking to me while an order is being called

When I am a coustomer: let my beer sit empty for a long time, blame the kitchen if food is taking a long time or wrong (I know sometimes it's the kitchens fault but most of the time the server made a mistake and blames the kitchen so you won't be mad at them), or drop my bill off with out asking if I was ready for it.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

Easy to blame the cook, yeah, been there. I also know the wait staff have to face the customer and I don't.


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## nosdrahcir (Sep 12, 2011)

Some of the items mentioned are dead-on.  A server should never touch a glass by the rim when serving, it is unsanitary.  Drinks should be filled before empty, but you should also be a little understanding if a server has a large section.  You're likely one of many tables that person is taking care of.  Thing is, there are too many personalities to really have a definitive answer of what's "the worst thing a server can do", because things one person may like-such as attentiveness-may come across as annoying to another guest, who wants to be left alone unless they ask for something.  It's impossible to know off the bat what every person is going to be like unless you've had them before.


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## laurenlulu (Sep 9, 2012)

Standing at our table spewing a why-their-life-sucks monologue and holding us hostage when I just want them to shut up and go away. Patrons are not free therapists.


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

laurenlulu said:


> Standing at our table spewing a why-their-life-sucks monologue and holding us hostage when I just want them to shut up and go away. Patrons are not free therapists.


Oh my goodness, I get this at the supermarket from the cashiers. I just stare at them with 0 personality. Works all the time.


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## michaelga (Jan 30, 2012)

This simple phrase... uttered slightly above a whisper, usually works very well.

"Get A Helmet"


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## ordo (Mar 19, 2009)

To hurry my wine. I hate that.


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## paul alfred (Nov 18, 2011)

This is from the kitchen side of things, not the customer side, but promising something to a guest that we either do not have, is not on the menu, or telling them it is served one way when it is in fact served another.  For example, I had a server tonight tell his guest that her cake was in the oven and would be out shortly, so she was expecting a hot piece of cake.  In fact, our cakes are baked elsewhere and we serve them from the reach-in (due to the mousse layer in the middle).  She was upset when the server brought her an obviously not fresh-from-the-oven piece of cake.  Had it been fresh from the oven (or heated up as the server tried to ask me to do) the it would have been ruined.


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## chopstix (Feb 14, 2013)

Ok num


bundens said:


> just thought I'd share my pet peeves that will net a bad tip or a sour taste in my mouth...
> 
> 1. Asking me how my food is more than once
> 
> ...


Ok #4 thoughts: wouldn't u like the idea that u get specialized attention from the whole staff? I think it shows teamwork and that u are able to ask anyone for help. For tipping purposes, as long as u tip the staff will make sure it goes to the right place. But in the end it's all opinions!


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

I think that a waiter/waitress/server/whatever should get extra for serving my table especially well.


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

What I dislike most is when a server acts pretentious and condescending, as if the diners are so privileged to be in the restaurant. This especially urks me when we are paying for some of the more expensive restaurants and we are expecting to be treated with high end service.


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

I agree Colleen , they come across as being on an ego trip  and it undermines the whole purpose of what the owner/establishment is trying to provide.


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## dave kinogie (Feb 16, 2013)

Bad service is one thing, I'm not one to accept it, but having served for a little over a year at an upscale place and then reading through this thread confirms my thoughts from when I did, a lot of people seem to go to restaurants to have their own personal Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares or whatever show is your favorite. They come to the restaurant with their little mental scorecards and instead of enjoying the meal and expecting proper service they are praying for F'ups so they can complain and start a problem, so when things aren't going bad they invent unreasonable requests and expectations. They aren't there to relax, enjoy good food and drink and the patrons company with which they came, all with good service. No they are their to pettily pick apart every aspect of the experience whether the overall was very good or not. They are their to test those people who are below them on the food chain, pun intended.

There is no pleasing some people, they are miserable and looking for problems. Unhappy, or pretentious and spoiled, maybe high on their own past/current work or career, whether in the industry or not, who knows?

Bottom line is, which someone alluded to, the server is their to serve you, but they are not your personal servant.

A server should do his/her job properly, with respect and without some look of annoyance on their face, without any condescension and without being overly aggressive or annoying, but sometimes customers think they're also supposed to shine their shoes, walk their dog and gargle with their spit.

Now, a server should do everything they can to make you happy within reason and maybe even go a little above and beyond as long as it doesn't start a domino/trickle down effect on the other tables, wait staff and kitchen that negatively impacts the rest of the paying customers.

But as someone else alluded to, the server shouldn't be looking to freelance either, they should adhere to their establishments expectations, rules and style. Sometimes when people use the phrase "within reason", it leaves a lot of room for interpretation by the bearer of the phrase.

What is above and beyond within reason? Should the server even be making that judgement call?

I guess a lot of that comes down to how well the specific establishment is ran and therefore how well they hired and the common sense of the individuals who are employed there.

There are a lot of bad servers out there, there is no doubt about it and I wouldn't stand up for them, I am not standing up for them. But there are a lot of good servers who people will label as bad, cause well, those people are probably just dicks.

And I'd like to comment on the introducing themselves by name thing... For serious? Come on haha. I mean I get the dislike for the 2 and a half minute introduction with life story followed by specials and special drink run down the list with no real care, but it still takes an additional 4 minutes and it's fake and mistake riddled. I'm not a fan that either.

But there are people that get annoyed by a simple 8 second, "Hello, I am Donnie, I will be your server tonight.", thing with nothing really else?

Oh well.


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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

I prob shouldnt answer this rt now, still fresh in my mind from today....

1) blaming me or us for their /img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif screwups, then treating us even worse thereafter.

(todays example: choice of potato on the dish, only she doesnt ask, she puts the order in,

then we get her back and tell her mashed. She rolls her eyes says nothing and runs rudely

back to tell the cook, because she'd put in french fries. Oh but we're being problem customers.

Went downhill from there.

2) running around abruptly slamming things down, cutting off your sentences cuz theyre sooooo

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gifing busy, when they only have 3 tables.

3) NOT bothering to flirt with me when theyre messing it all up, then I cant even tip them for THAT.

MAN that bugs! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif


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## damon otan (Feb 25, 2013)

i hate bad service period!


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## floweratom (Mar 13, 2013)

I hate when servers promises a certain time to deliver the dish and taking much longer than that. Really makes me go mad.


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## jake t bud (Feb 25, 2013)

Just recently.

When ordering I asked about how big the salad greens was that came on the plate with the special, because if it was small, we'd order an additional salad. A very cordial and friendly waiter said it was like a garnish. I ordered the endive walnut mustard vinaigrette salad for $14 to split with my partner. Salad comes, we eat. Main comes and that salad was no garnish. It was a full size salad. He said garnish to make us spend another $14. He did bring two glasses of wine for me to choose from though. I ordered mussels. The guy kept emptying the pot cover (for empty shells) constantly so I had to put the shells in with the sauce again since he didn't get back in time. Obviously. He only had to empty it twice, since the lid was half the size of the contents of the pot. Another runner told me to put the bread in with the wine saffron sauce as he walked by with an armful of empty plates - thanks, it not my first bowl of mussels. On top of all that the food was mediocre.

What happens to me quite often is being seated and ignored. Other patrons come in after me and get served first. Or they don't bring all the plates out at the same time for a table of four. I don't mean 30 seconds to go back to the kitchen if there aren't a million runners. I mean five minutes. Or wait forever to bring the check, and then draw a smiley face on it. Waiters also have the ability to avoid eye contact at all costs. Ones that act like they are in control, and if you are missing your glass of wine or bread, you'll have to wait until they decide it's time. I've had meals without my wine or side because they just won't look at you or are "too busy" to even acknowledge you are there - even though they can see you through peripheral vision. I understand what busy means, but at least acknowledge that my meal is incomplete and I'll wait until you get a moment to bring mustard or the the drink you forgot.

Another pet peeve is a waiter asking "are you still working on that?" I'm not working. I'm having a pleasurable experience, and eating is not supposed to be "work." Also, taking plates away from those that finished before everybody is done eating. Take away the plates all at the same time.


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## boar_d_laze (Feb 13, 2008)

Pollopicu said:


> ...I also don't like when they try to act flirty with my husband, and totally ignore me, thinking they're going to get a bigger tip if they honey-up to the man at the table. When that happens, I suggest to my husband he tips them a dollar, not a cent more. _Nothing gives me more pleasure than sticking it to them like that. _


/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif

BDL


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## burntsugar (Feb 24, 2013)

Bring out dead in the window cold apps the main, now the tables too crowed and just what am I supposed to do? I send it all back and bounce.  Tell the manager or owner. Cold apps never! and pace the drop to fire as the diner eats.


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## edgar81 (Mar 15, 2013)

I can have patience and be empathetic toward waiters/ waitresses. As long as I'm dealing with humans and not robots, I expect the unexpected. We all have a right to have a bad day and not have others judge us or make us feel like we are less. Being front of the house, they have to deal with all sorts of people in a matter of hours, e.g., people who are having a bad day and try to take it out on them or people that like to leave $1 in order to humiliate them instead of giving them positive feed back, etc. I won't however put up with rude servers... I don't care how bad a day he/she might be having, he/she doesn't have a right to mess with mine. I will not hesitate to point out rudeness and I certainly won't hesitate to stand up and go elsewhere. I learned that by being a server for 12 yrs: when folks decide to walk in my restaurant, _they _are giving _me_ the opportunity to provide excellent service. These days there are sssoooo many choices, yet they gave me the opportunity to serve them and earn a tip...The least I can do is be kind and respectful /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## steve tphc (Sep 18, 2012)

I agree with most of what others have said about bad habits and poor service. Bad service is the fault of bad management and due to absence of appropriate staff training.

However, I also really are put off by the staff talking down to me. Typical is explaining what a French or Italian phrase means. The younger the staff member is the more ridiculous this seems to me.

If a restaurant serves wine and has a corkage fee then they need to have a sommelier or be trained about serving wine.

I cannot stand being served and expensive bottle of wine only to have it served in a Mason jar glass.

If the wait staff listen to you when you ask a question or request and act accordingly things are good. “How was everything” has degenerated to a euphemism. If the restaurant is one where I actually will attend again, I take the time to emphasize the things the staff did well or shortcomings that need attention.

I tip according to the server’s performance.


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## dave hoder (Mar 15, 2013)

As a patron - asking if I want change

As a cook - asking what's in the food they are serving


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## ed buchanan (May 29, 2006)

Coming over every 4 or 5 minutes and asking me if everything is alright, If it were not I would call them over. OR USING THE WORDS  ''NO PROBLEM''


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

4298_78925994369_4774192_n.jpg




__
colleens


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Apr 4, 2013








(Photo of a totally unrelated restaurant and unknown server who did not serve me!). This thread needs a pic, that's all.

: )

Yesterday I lunched with a good friend at a restaurant we each patronize on a regular basis. At meal's end, I used my mall discount card and my rewards card and the server emphatically and condescendingly informed me that I could not use both at once. After sheepishly explaining that I patronize the restaurant all the time and have used both in the past, she informed me that she is the training manager who trains the staff and that she knew I could not use both cards together. She then conceded that she would "ask the manager." She came back profusely apologizing for being wrong and that "no one told her they'd changed the rules."

Kinda put a damper on my thoughts of going back to my favorite restaurant.


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## burntsugar (Feb 24, 2013)

So that was you taking pictures!


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## chef lee (Apr 2, 2013)

The absolute, most horrible thing a server can do to me is not acknowledge me when I get seated. When I am in your section and you are headed to another table; say "hello", tell me that you will be with me shortly...heck, tell me that you don't like what I am wearing,,,just acknowledge that I am here.

I have had many nights where servers do not get a dime out of me. I have had many nights that no matter now busy a server is; they acknowledge every one of their guests and gives 100%; and that is who goes home with the prize when I pay for my meal.

I was a waitress for years and I expect top service whether it be from _McDonald's_ or _14th Street._


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## marcoleavitt (Mar 24, 2013)

Not refilling my drink, or forgetting to bring it, especially if there is a delay in the food coming out. Nothing worse than just sitting there with nothing to drink.


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## pieds de cochon (Jun 7, 2013)

Hi there, first of all to me service should be unnoticeable.Nothing beyond that is not right and that's the reason why it's a real work and not simply a job.

         It's kind of hard to really achieve.I'm a kind of easy guy and rarely tell if anything goes wrong assuming they're not total jerks.I eat in restaurant to enjoy myself and the company of my friends. Food, atmosphere, service should tend toward that.I don't like when server does too much as to reassure himself or the other way does nothing so end up with empty bottle, plate,bread basket and wait (that's suppose to be their job) so the conversation slowly goes down and everyone on the table stare to each other annoyed.

       To answer the thread I'll take it from a kitchen point of view : EVERYTHING but the most is that when they don't show up to pick up the plate when I call so the plate gently cools down on the pass. And also when they don't have a clue what's in the plate I don't intend them to know how to make hollandaise but they should know there's yellow eggs and butter in it and that sole is a sea finish.

        Good waiter ,I' think, is not that common and when you get one it's appreciable. Oh when they ask "what table it is":I work in small restaurant, you ordered it, the ticket is on your side of the pass ,so quit asking.

        I guess I' m an easy customer but at work I seem to have issue with waiters/resses.

        And to be honest here in France tips is not a part of one's salary and is normally shared with everyone working in the restaurant except the owner (at least in small traditional restaurant.

         Regards


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Hello pied de cochon, ironically I once went to a restaurant in Paris named pieds do cochon and it was the worst service I ever had. The waiters were very very rude. I assured my husband that tips were part of the bill and I did not want to leave tip like we do here in America but he asked the waiter and the waiter lied and said tips are not included haha. A terrible experience indeed.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Ok this happened recently. I was out of town for work and I was in an area like the boonies. I drove past a strip mall like area that had an very few choices on food. I went to TGIFridays. I walked in and there was wait staff congregated at the hostess' desk, not a good sign. Was ignored for a bit but I as hungry and took my chances. Finally seated I ordered a burger. When the runner brought it I asked for some mayo and he brought it. Never saw the server the whole time I was there. I did see the wait staff continuously congregate and socialize amongst themselves which is tacky. At the end I got up to find my waiter so I could get my check because I had to leave to get to work on time. You know it's bad when you have to get up to get your check. He brought it but then I was waiting for him to come process the payment. He caught my eye and saw I was annoyed and rushed over. When he came back he said..."see here where it says up charge? They wanted me to charge you for the mayo but I didn't." That pi$$ed me off beyond belief and I only left him a $ on a $13 check. The nerve! I should call the company. 

The burger was soggy and mushy. I could've gotten a better burger at Burger King.


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## pieds de cochon (Jun 7, 2013)

Hello koukouvagia, sad indeed but donwthere in France many young person that can't or don't want to follow scholarship end up in apprentice at the age of 15 graduate at 17 and start working with poor ethics ,it depends mostly where they've learned the job for it's cheap employees for owners.

     Plus I kind of think that in France we have (not everybody) a tendency not to be quite welcoming with foreigners due to cliché and an overhigh view of ourselves (not to mention the lack of general knowledge of foreign langages).


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## skipstrr (Jun 8, 2013)

disappear for extended length of time after saying "I'll be right back with that"


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## lagom (Sep 5, 2012)

Pieds de cochon said:


> Hello koukouvagia, sad indeed but donwthere in France many young person that can't or don't want to follow scholarship end up in apprentice at the age of 15 graduate at 17 and start working with poor ethics ,it depends mostly where they've learned the job for it's cheap employees for owners.
> Plus I kind of think that in France we have (not everybody) a tendency not to be quite welcoming with foreigners due to cliché and an overhigh view of ourselves (not to mention the lack of general knowledge of foreign langages).


Maybe thats a Paris thing, I have had excellent service in Lyon and The south coast in general, Paris, meh, not so much.


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## 23years (May 26, 2013)

I hate it when I can see my servers personal habits.


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## duckfat (Aug 7, 2008)

As a patron; Steal my CC info.

As an employee; Knock over an entire speed rack of stem ware. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif

Dave


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## minas6907 (Aug 14, 2012)

I recently went to a BJ's with a friend. The meal was decent, but the server was slightly clueless. About 1/3 into my burger he comes and asks us if we want any appetizers. Then about 2/3 into my burger he comes back with the "have you saved any room for dessert?" As tactfully as I could I told him we were still eating.

Sent from my DROID X2 using Tapatalk 2


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

I just recently dined at a Thai restaurant where the waitress literally took away a plate I was still eating from. Normally I'm a grouch at situations like that but this act was so unbelievable it was comical and i had to laugh it off. Plus I planned on getting delightfully hammered that night and I didn't want anything annoying me before-hand.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Admirable, your levels of tolerance toward stupidity.


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## just delicious (Jan 16, 2013)

Sushi restaurant, ordering cheater-sticks for my 9-year old son. And they NEVER COME. So we stare at our beautiful sushi. And stare.....


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

Just Delicious said:


> Sushi restaurant, ordering cheater-sticks for my 9-year old son. And they NEVER COME. So we stare at our beautiful sushi. And stare.....


It is perfectly acceptable to eat sushi with your hands. It's finger food, I've been told by many Japanese friends. It's enjoyment on a whole other level.


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## just delicious (Jan 16, 2013)

Koukouvagia said:


> It is perfectly acceptable to eat sushi with your hands. It's finger food, I've been told by many Japanese friends. It's enjoyment on a whole other level.


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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm in LA county, it continues to amaze me how many servers seem to be of the opinion that tips
are their given right--their actions and attitudes are immaterial. And restaurant foh politics are 
alive and well believe me. I've been a regular at some for years, and upon receiving horrible
service from a server, I've come back to find I'm basically being shunned by ALL the servers. 
Slap a label on my forehead "non-tipper" (the hundreds of dollars I HAVE tipped o'er the years
out the winder) and "jerk". Going to the manager trying to prove an "attitude" ...not so effective.
What bugs the most about it is having to cross yet another place off my go-to list due strictly to 
their lack of professionalism. Personally, if I was managing people who I caught deliberately
chasing away customers they don't like, they'd be updating their resumes pretty quickly.


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## bumps (Jun 17, 2013)

Hmmm I hate it when the server interrupts me while im eating, ask me once if everything is ok..that's fine...but not throughout my whole meal...an please, I hate it when their fingers are on my plate, don't stick your fingers or thumb down inside my soup bowl when serving me...that makes me sick to my stomach an not want to eat it...


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## lyle (Jan 9, 2008)

Bumps said:


> Hmmm I hate it when the server interrupts me while im eating, ask me once if everything is ok..that's fine...but not throughout my whole meal...an please, I hate it when their fingers are on my plate, don't stick your fingers or thumb down inside my soup bowl when serving me...that makes me sick to my stomach an not want to eat it...


Oh, c'mon, they're just making sure the soup is nice and hot! ;-)


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## bumps (Jun 17, 2013)

hahah....I hope that's not true....


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## ifortuna (Jun 29, 2013)

I am sure that many of you will find me odd but here goes. I am an enormously patient person but even I have my limits.

While on a tour of Wales, I was staying at a very nice hotel.  We arrived in the late afternoon and I was bushed.  Everyone else went to a castle feast but I opted to stay put on my own.   Well,  I became famished and decided to go to dinner, it was about 8:30p.m.  when I arrived at the restaurant off the lobby.  I stood there while several servers and others walked past me as if I was invisible.  I waited about 15 minutes and I finally stopped someone to ask to be seated.  I waited another 15 minutes.  Nothing.  I asked again.  Waited several minutes still trying to be patient at this point.  I could not understand the problem.  Could it be, I was a woman alone, I know these people speak English?  I don't know.  After waiting close to an hour, no kidding, I went into the restaurant and told the waiter I would be sitting in a particular spot obvious to everyone and that he should bring me a menu and take my order right away.  He did and I did and I finally had a delicioius meal.

Before you ask why, let me say that this hotel was rather remote and there was nowhere nearby for me to get an evening meal.  If I were to call for a taxi, by the time I arrived at another restaurant, it would be too late and I would probably have been turned away. As an American who has been abroad, I find it funny when people complain about servers being overly attentive.   I think it takes time and training for servers and others to find a balance.  But then, one has to care about one's job.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

You have the patience of a saint. I would have been a lot more vocal.


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## michael valdez (Jun 20, 2013)

1. A server makes me mad if by the time I get my food there are still no utensils on the table and I have to ask for them. 2. Scratches their head or any other part of their body where I can see them. 3. Leaves my food under the heat lamps while they are talking or doing something equally useless. 4. Gets my order wrong. 5. Rushes me like they are in a hurry to turn a table. 6. Doesn't come by to offer a refill. 7. Doesn't come by to see if my food was ok. 8. Dirty restrooms. Two things that recently ticked me off was when I walked into the restaurant and the person that seats guests wants to sit me not only in a crowded room but where I feel like I'll be sitting on someone else's lap. I ask to sit in another section that there are only two tables being used but it's closed. The manager insists I sit in the crowded room until a waitress tells me that she will wait on us. I can definitely understand if a section is closed due to slow business but when business is booming I just don't get it. Then there's the waiter that thinks he's a comedian and every thing he says is suppose to be funny. This one waiter I asked for something extra and he asked if I was going to be sure and eat it all. That's all bad for business.


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## lacuisinier (Jun 22, 2013)

marmalady said:


> #2 - I swear, sometimes they're just standing in a corner and waiting til I have that forkful in my mouth, then run over to ask how everything is!!!


...And before you get a chance to reply, they quickly turn around and leave.

The other thing that irritates me to NO end is you've placed your empty roll dish - salad plates - soup bowls at the traffic end of the table and are waiting for your main course meal to be delivered... at which point it is, but then the wait person turns and leaves, leaving your dirty dishes still on the table.

I've had situations where the bus boy has cleaned up the table next to, across from or behind us and has walked right past our dirty dishes sitting at the end of our table. You mean to tell me that "Table Cleaning 101" teaches that dirty dishes can only be bussed if the table is empty?

The worst situation my wife and I were ever in was at a restaurant where "ALL" of our dishes were stacked at the end of the table when we were waiting for dessert. I got up, picked up most of them and proceeded to walk into the kitchen and present them to the first employee I saw. Needless to say the manager saw to it that we were looked after every second or so.

La Cuisiniér Diabétique


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

I think having customers with children requires a little different approach. We might be 2 adults and one toddler but a 2-seater does not fit us! A toddler needs a lot of clear space, they can't have hot plates and lots of adult silver wear in front of them and some hosts get irritated to give up a 4-top to us. Also, please don't place hot plates in front of a 2yr old, employ some common sense will ya?


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

I think my least favorite question is, "how is everything tasting?"  It is just a vague question. The question should be focused on the service, "is there anything else I can get you?" 

I prefer other countries where they don't ask you a question or interrupt you every 5 minutes. Let me have a conversation and let me enjoy my food. And by the way, my water glass can be filled when it's empty, not after one or two sips.


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## kogruce (Aug 7, 2013)

mispronunciation of dishes or ingredients...shows lack of respect and focus


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## tkchef (Oct 24, 2010)

Pete, well stated, and you bring out the greater issue when dining out to me, which is up selling. It can ruin the mood for enjoying a meal as it set the tone for a handcuffed server. I avoid chains that do it whenever possible.

Otherwise, servers know their job, have good and bad days, just like all of us.  If a server makes a mistake and acknowledges it, no big deal.  If they offer poor service, they get a poor tip.  If they just stink, I get the manager and usually get the meal paid for, because I tell them point by point why the server should be delivering mail in Afghanistan instead of serving customers, as they are killing the restaurant's reputation for a quality establishment.

Patrons who get hung up on the little things should be ashamed, as it is just petty.  Attention to detail, cleanliness, food delivery timing, and follow-up with a pleasant attitude however, are basics.  If servers can't get those right, I point it out, and if they don't respond appropriately, I go directly to the manager.  Why should I let someone inept affect my dining experience?  I address my concerns without emotion, and ask the simple questions, "Is customer satisfaction important to you, as a manager? How should I react to this poor level of service?  I am feeling compelled to go online and share it on Urbanspoon, Trip Advisor, etc. etc.  How are you going to address this so should I visit in the future I won't have to be subjected to this kind of service, and behavior?"  Doing so is far better therapy than fuming over someone's lack of ability.


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## mamelok (Jul 31, 2013)

I don't like it when the server asks "Do you want pepper on that?"  How do I know, I haven't had a chance to taste it.  And it seems if it needs pepper it should be added in the kitchen. 

Bad timing.  All at the table should be served at the same time.  Same with bringing sequential courses before an already served course if finished.

Clearing the table before all guests have finished.


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## koukouvagia (Apr 3, 2008)

mamelok said:


> I don't like it when the server asks "Do you want pepper on that?" How do I know, I haven't had a chance to taste it. And it seems if it needs pepper it should be added in the kitchen.


Actually I think they ask "would you like freshly cracked pepper?" In which case a lot of people like the added aroma of it regardless of whether or not it needs it.


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## oregonyeti (Jun 16, 2007)

ColleenS said:


> I think my least favorite question is, "how is everything tasting?" It is just a vague question. The question should be focused on the service, "is there anything else I can get you?"
> 
> I prefer other countries where they don't ask you a question or interrupt you every 5 minutes. Let me have a conversation and let me enjoy my food. And by the way, my water glass can be filled when it's empty, not after one or two sips.


That reminded me ... a waiter or waitress who wants to be a star. That is really annoying. I wish they would just try to give good service and not try to draw attention to themselves.


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## colleens (Feb 18, 2010)

Oregon I agree.  It should be about the guest, not focused on the server.


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Hmm , forget to bring my menu. 

Usually when i go out for coffee ( im a loyal customer at a great coffee place ) the server there is usually swamped , which is fine by me , if she takes her time , but at least give me the right order honey -_- ( she is new , so i wont kick her ass for it yet ). 

That and i love when servers say "just one minute " or "ill be right with you " and take a long a** time


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## wendie5 (Oct 17, 2013)

Very interesting topic /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif The worst thing servers often do to make me mad is asking me how my food is while it's quite obviously in my mouth and I can't answer. It is obvious that I can't answer to the question, why don't they wait for awhile to ask questions, for the perfect moment, when the customers are not eating?


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## hydarhamster (Nov 11, 2013)

Good question. The worse thing a server could do to me is:

1. Not serve me.

2. Spit in my food.

3. Contaminate my food then give it me.

4. Have an attitude.


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

HydarHamster said:


> 2. Spit in my food.
> 
> 3. Contaminate my food then give it me.
> 
> 4. Have an attitude.


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## chefboyog (Oct 23, 2013)

BOH point of view:

1. Talk about their tips in front of kitchen staff.
2. Steal food.
3. Cry.
4. Argue.
5. Steal food. 
6. Are 12 years old and have no business trying to lift a plate let alone know what is in it.


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