# 25 things chefs never tell you



## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

I'm hesitant to post anything from Food Network since it's not a source I particularly trust, but thought this article had a lot of truth to it.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes-and-cooking/25-things-chefs-never-tell-you/index.html


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## guts (Jun 22, 2011)

I entirely disagree, lists like this are so unsavory based fact that anyone can call themselves a chef, and a "chef" at white spot could drag down a 3 star chef (for example) if you throw them all in the same pile (yes, that old debate)...

In my opinion, anyone who believes in the '5 second rule', thinks that 'vegetarian' is open to interpretation, would do unsavory things to a customers food, or is an extremely picky eater probably shouldn't be calling themselves a chef. But you know what they say about opinions.


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## ed buchanan (May 29, 2006)

This article from Food Network is their opinion ,I do not agree with half of it.


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

oo double post


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

Guts said:


> I entirely disagree, lists like this are so unsavory based fact that anyone can call themselves a chef, and a "chef" at white spot could drag down a 3 star chef (for example) if you throw them all in the same pile (yes, that old debate)...
> 
> In my opinion, anyone who believes in the '5 second rule', thinks that 'vegetarian' is open to interpretation, would do unsavory things to a customers food, or is an extremely picky eater probably shouldn't be calling themselves a chef. But you know what they say about opinions.


The unsavory practice was directed at "cooks" witnessed by chefs.

I don't agree with all 25, but some most of the top ones are accurate, like these for example:



> Still, chefs hate picky eaters.
> More than 60% said requests for substitutions are annoying. Some of their biggest pet peeves: when customers pretend to be allergic to an ingredient, and when vegetarians make up rules, like "a little chicken stock is OK."
> 
> When eating out in other restaurants, chefs say they avoid pasta and chicken.
> ...


I believe these lists are meant more for entertainment than anything else. They're not meant for anyone to take so seriously.


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

> Many chefs have cut themselves on the job, gone to get stitches and returned to work to finish out the night.


Stitches? What are these stitches that they speak of?/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


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## chef bilby (Nov 14, 2012)

This is all you need to know fellas ( And ladies )

50 things they never told you about being a chef

When people are thinking of taking their first steps into kitchens, many around them are quick to give advice. They will warn of the toil involved, the strength of character and the stamina that are needed, the long hours... But however much warning is given, one is always quick to disregard it and shrug one's shoulders because really, how hard can it be?
In my years working in kitchens I have seen hundreds come and go; eager at the start but quickly disenchanted and just as eager to get out. Only a small percentage of people who walk into the world of gastronomy stay there once faced with this harsh environment.
Below is a list that I compiled of all the realities of day to day life as a chef, based on my own experience as well as on my observations.
What you can expect from making a living in a professional kitchen:

1 You'll almost always have open wounds on your hands and arms.

2 You'll never meet new people because your social life deteriorates into non-existence.

3 You'll find it hard to start relationships because alone time will become a precious thing.

4 You'll lose your social skills.

5 Your sense of humour will degrade into the politically incorrect and socially unacceptable.

6 You'll eventually start swearing like a sailor and you won't even notice yourself doing it.

7 You'll turn into an anorak/monomaniac and always turn all conversations back to food.

8 You'll earn a pittance for years/decades.

9 You'll either lose a vast amount of weight or gain a vast amount of weight.

10 You'll never ever have a tan ever again.

11 You won't become famous.

12 You'll develop a habit, whether it be coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, cannabis, cocaine, or even red bull.

13 Your feet will get destroyed.

14 Your back will get destroyed.

15 Your hands will get destroyed.

16 You'll live in a constant state of sleep deprivation, indefinitely.

17 You'll have to ask your friends to plan everything around your schedule, which is in complete opposition with their availability, because you never know your days off in advance and you probably won't be able to change it.

18 You'll become of a very highly strung nature

19 You'll become more prone to temper flare ups

20 Your awareness of other people's lack of efficiency and common sense will increase and your tolerance of it will decrease.

21 You'll spend the largest part of your life cooped up in a small, undecorated room with poor ventilation, high temperatures, a lot of noise, humidity, no natural light and no windows, with a small group of people who will become your only social interactions.

22 You will work longer hours than you ever imagined possible or thought legal.

23 You will spend all your waking hours on your feet, never getting a chance to sit down even for 5 minutes.

24 Your shortest work days will be longer than most people's longest, and your longer work days, which make up about half of your working week, will be longer than the average person is awake in a day.

25 You will not cook gourmet dinners at home. You'll be too tired, and too fed up of cooking.

26 You will probably start eating mostly fast food and cheap instant noodles.

27 You will be the subject of abuse, whether physical or emotional. Officially, it will be as a test of character. In reality, it will be as a form of entertainment.

28 You will end up spending so much time at work that your colleagues will know you better than your partner/family/friends do.

29 You will meet and form strong bonds with types of people whom you'd previously never even have imagined sharing conversations with.

30 You will be in a constant state of stress.

31 You will never be irreplaceable and will be expected to constantly give 110%.

32 You will always be exhausted.

33 You will not be allowed to call in sick for a hangover.

34 You will be expected to place your work before any other part of your life in your list of priorities.

35 You will never be congratulated on your work.

36 You will be expected to treat your superiors as absolute masters and never answer back, try to explain yourself, start a conversation, or show any other type of insubordination, even if you know that they are in the wrong or feel as if their behaviour towards you is unacceptable.

37 It will become very difficult to watch friends cook.

38 Your mum will stop cooking for you because she feels embarrassed.

39 You will be expected to cook for family gatherings such as Christmas EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Luckily, at least one year out of two, you will be working on Christmas.

40 At least one year out of two, and maybe every year, you will work Christmas, New Year's Eve, Easter, Valentine's day, Mother's day, Father's day, bank holidays, Halloween, your birthday, and pretty much every other day of celebration on the calendar.

41 You will have to work many years in menial positions before attaining any level of authority in the workplace.

42 The better the restaurant is, the longer the work hours become, the more pressure you end up under, the more unhealthy your lifestyle will become, the more likely you will be to develop a habit, the more competitive the people around you will become, the less sleep you'll get, the less you'll eat etc.

43 You will constantly make mistakes, and every time you do make a mistake, someone will notice it and make you understand that you are clearly a subhuman because only a subhuman could make such a mistake.

44 If you are a woman, you will constantly be the subject of misogynist remarks and jokes, sexual harassment, belittlement and remarks about your menstrual cycle.

45 None of your friends or family will understand what is involved in your work and you will never be able to make them understand.

46 You will spend vast amounts of money on equipment, books, eating in good restaurants etc, which will leave you with not much money for other things.

47 You will develop a creepy obsession with knives.

48 If you are a pastry chef, you will develop a creepy obsession with spoons.

49 You will get a rash in your arse crack from the mixture of heat, sweat and friction that will not heal well, sometimes get infected, will mostly always be slimy and itchy and will be there most of the time.

50 If you are the right type of person, you will thank your lucky star every single day for the rest of your life for making you make the best decision you ever did and become a chef. And you will fall in love with your job and never look back.

__________________


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

Chef Bilby said:


> This is all you need to know fellas ( And ladies )
> 
> 50 things they never told you about being a chef
> 
> ...


Lol a ew of these things may happen , but in all honesty i love my chef and cooks so the fact we hang out doesnt mean we lack a social life , we just are a big family in and out of the restaurant. Most of us still maintain family relationships. But i have started swearing alot , im filled with cuts , and wounds too , but i im so happy cooking that i feel im doing the right thing with little regret thus far.


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## jwblack911 (May 15, 2013)

Chef Bilby said:


> This is all you need to know fellas ( And ladies )
> 
> 50 things they never told you about being a chef
> 
> ...


this is an incredible list. i couldn't add one thing.


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## mayhem (May 19, 2013)

[No message]


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## mayhem (May 19, 2013)

cheflayne said:


> Stitches? What are these stitches that they speak of?/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


Stitches are what fancy people get instead of using super glue.


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## mayhem (May 19, 2013)

> 44 If you are a woman, you will constantly be the subject of misogynist remarks and jokes, sexual harassment, belittlement and remarks about your menstrual cycle.
> 
> __________________


Naw, man. The guys in my kitchen have a healthy fear of me, mingled with respect. They know anything they throw at me will be topped and thrown back. I also make them soup when they're sick.


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## doctortaco (May 22, 2013)

Chef Bilby said:


> This is all you need to know fellas ( And ladies )
> 
> 50 things they never told you about being a chef
> 
> ...


51- you'll learn Spanish (sort of)


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## lagom (Sep 5, 2012)

I really dislike lists like this because for the most part they're untrue. I have been in the kitchen for 35 years, i have a wife(never worked in the business), 4 kids rangeing from17 down to 7 months, never was an alcoholic, drug addict, shutin with no friends, constantly wounded and burnt, abbused, belittled, and my mom was always an awful cook so thank god she stoped cooking for me. I have made an excellent income and at 48 years old I am now semi retired while owning 3 different restaurants, with managing partners and still working a couple says a week at the hotel I was formally the head chef at. I chose this profession because I love it but made a decision many years ago to work it smart. People that suffer the crap listed in the list need to work smarter and the people who perpetuate the abbuse and unprofessionalness rampent in list like these need their employees and customers to walk out on them, then beat with a big stick. It is those people( jerks) that give our profession and love of the art a bad name.


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## michaelga (Jan 30, 2012)

> People that suffer the crap listed in the list need to work smarter and the people who perpetuate the abbuse and unprofessionalness rampent in list like these need their employees and customers to walk out on them, then beat with a big stick. It is those people( jerks) that give our profession and love of the art a bad name.


Totally agree...and people wonder why everyone starts at minimum wage and there are no industry-wide standards.


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## mayhem (May 19, 2013)

Lagom said:


> I really dislike lists like this because for the most part they're untrue. I have been in the kitchen for 35 years, i have a wife(never worked in the business), 4 kids rangeing from17 down to 7 months, never was an alcoholic, drug addict, shutin with no friends, constantly wounded and burnt, abbused, belittled, and my mom was always an awful cook so thank god she stoped cooking for me. I have made an excellent income and at 48 years old I am now semi retired while owning 3 different restaurants, with managing partners and still working a couple says a week at the hotel I was formally the head chef at. I chose this profession because I love it but made a decision many years ago to work it smart. People that suffer the crap listed in the list need to work smarter and the people who perpetuate the abbuse and unprofessionalness rampent in list like these need their employees and customers to walk out on them, then beat with a big stick. It is those people( jerks) that give our profession and love of the art a bad name.


So, you lost your sense of humor, then? Agree wholeheartedly on working smart THEN hard, but lighten up.


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

It is what it is,we age in our kitchens and our lives. I believe in culinary brotherhood (sisterhood). Yeap, really hard industry. No list from me.I want to continue to grow, growth will almost always require sacrifice.


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## lagom (Sep 5, 2012)

No sense of humor? 4 daughters, 3horses, 2 75 kilo dogs, 3 business partners and surrounded buy hockey and soccer obsessed Swedes and gas is 9 bucks a gallon. Plus a sarcastic in 3 languages wife. You bet I got one heck of a sense of humor. Thats why I always smile. But ya Maybe the list is a bit tongue in cheek.


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## pirate-chef (Jan 25, 2012)

Where in sweden are you?


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## lagom (Sep 5, 2012)

I live outside of Kungsbacka just south of Gothenborg. Your down south arent you?


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## chefgcarves (May 14, 2013)

I get the obsession with knives, but what's with spoons and pastry? I've worked in pastry/bakery before, but never yearned for a certain type of spoon with specific qualities.


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

Usually involves making one-spooned quenelles... I know I've obsessed over them before


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## chefgcarves (May 14, 2013)

A one spooned quenelle?!?!? I've always used 2 spoons.

Is that a Zen chef thing, like the sound of one hand clapping?


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## twyst (Jan 22, 2012)

chefgcarves said:


> A one spooned quenelle?!?!? I've always used 2 spoons.
> 
> Is that a Zen chef thing, like the sound of one hand clapping?


One handed quenelles just look better for things like ice cream/whipped cream. Instead of being three sided a really well done one handed quenelle is rounded all the way around and are nearly egg shaped. There are lots of different methods to achieve the one handed quenelle but the vid below shows you a great end result.


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## guts (Jun 22, 2011)

Obviously lists like the '50 things they didn't tell you' or whatever don't apply to everyone. Tons of cooks take extremely mediocre jobs with great pay, and great hours and have a totally 'normal' quality of life. Sadly, they're probably pretty delusional if they think their food is any good....


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## ljokjel (Jul 1, 2009)

Lagom said:


> I really dislike lists like this because for the most part they're untrue. I have been in the kitchen for 35 years, i have a wife(never worked in the business), 4 kids rangeing from17 down to 7 months, never was an alcoholic, drug addict, shutin with no friends, constantly wounded and burnt, abbused, belittled, and my mom was always an awful cook so thank god she stoped cooking for me. I have made an excellent income and at 48 years old I am now semi retired while owning 3 different restaurants, with managing partners and still working a couple says a week at the hotel I was formally the head chef at. I chose this profession because I love it but made a decision many years ago to work it smart. People that suffer the crap listed in the list need to work smarter and the people who perpetuate the abbuse and unprofessionalness rampent in list like these need their employees and customers to walk out on them, then beat with a big stick. It is those people( jerks) that give our profession and love of the art a bad name.


We scandinavians have a better situation in general, than most chefs. The laws, the society and mentality is in general different.Some of these 50 things are very correct, others are far off. Thats at least my experience.


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## pirate-chef (Jan 25, 2012)

Lagom said:


> I live outside of Kungsbacka just south of Gothenborg. Your down south arent you?


im in malmo at the moment looking into work in copenhagen. Adding to the one spoon quenelles look into the fat duck book for what i would call perfection. one is standing vertical if i remember correctly. Safe to say Scandinavia has had some of the best and worst kitchens i have worked in but for the most part well onto the top line where some of these dont or can not apply.


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## mjimenez (Jul 7, 2013)

Mayhem said:


> Stitches are what fancy people get instead of using super glue.


omfg really? i thought i was the only one that 'grew up' this super glue in the kitchen.

oh man, you cut your thumb? clean it, dry it, over the heart, glue it, glove it , get back to work asshole, your 4 tickets behind, gogogoogogo


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## thompson (Jun 5, 2013)

Incidentally, superglue was first developed as a wound-sealant. But it's carcinogenic in the extreme and putting it in wounds gets it straight into your bloodstream, so it raises your chance of getting all cancers about equally, including the hard/impossible to treat types. 

Of course, I'm young and inexperienced so my opinion doesn't count for that much, but I find the cult of pain that surrounds professional cooking strange and artificial (and driven by the strange machinations of the working-man psyche). Because of the insane amount of difficulties that are legitimately a part of cooking for a living, I think people take too much to glorifying as well as exaggerating their sacrifices and difficult work conditions. If the consensus among chefs was towards life in the kitchen that is hospitable to a reasonable standard, perhaps a lot of unnecessary suffering and needlessly bad food could be avoided.


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## michaelga (Jan 30, 2012)

thompson said:


> Incidentally, superglue was first developed as a wound-sealant. But it's carcinogenic in the extreme and putting it in wounds gets it straight into your bloodstream, so it raises your chance of getting all cancers about equally, including the hard/impossible to treat types.


This is not even close to being correct.

It forms a completely inert plastic once cured. It cures via moisture - so it can't get in your blood stream.

ER's around the world use versions (that contain preservatives and anti-bac additives) to close cuts when visible sutures are un-desireable ie. on the face etc.


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## skipstrr (Jun 8, 2013)

ED BUCHANAN said:


> This article from Food Network is their opinion ,I do not agree with half of it.


Maybe we should stay off of food network...refuse capitol letters for them


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## mayhem (May 19, 2013)

thompson said:


> Of course, I'm young and inexperienced so my opinion doesn't count for that much, but I find the cult of pain that surrounds professional cooking strange and artificial (and driven by the strange machinations of the working-man psyche). Because of the insane amount of difficulties that are legitimately a part of cooking for a living, I think people take too much to glorifying as well as exaggerating their sacrifices and difficult work conditions. If the consensus among chefs was towards life in the kitchen that is hospitable to a reasonable standard, perhaps a lot of unnecessary suffering and needlessly bad food could be avoided.


I want you to write those words down, on paper, and keep them. Five, ten years down the road, if you're still working in a kitchen (regardless of position), they will be a source of head-shaking amusement to you.


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## hamlrt (Feb 11, 2013)

That list is spot on ....


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## mrmexico25 (Jan 7, 2012)

There's a lot of truths to both lists to me, but damn the second one is awfully negative.

My mentor taught my two REALLY important things as a chef and business owner. 1) it's all in your attitude. Simple as that. If you have a bad attitude, arrogant, or are close minded, your work place will be full of painful references like said in the second list. 2) don't fret what you can't control. If its out of your reach, forget it. It's gonna rain whether you want it to or not.


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## chef bilby (Nov 14, 2012)

mrmexico25 said:


> There's a lot of truths to both lists to me, but damn the second one is awfully negative.
> 
> My mentor taught my two REALLY important things as a chef and business owner. 1) it's all in your attitude. Simple as that. If you have a bad attitude, arrogant, or are close minded, your work place will be full of painful references like said in the second list. 2) don't fret what you can't control. If its out of your reach, forget it. It's gonna rain whether you want it to or not.


 Ah see that's where you haven't seen the Irony in the list I put up - it is meant to be taken totally tongue in cheek

At the end of the day " Don't Sweat the Petty things & Don't Pet the Sweaty Things "


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## careme (Sep 21, 2012)

Met a guy at a party back in the day, hey he said what do you do?

Chef I reply

Me too he says

Me, Oh where ?

Mc donalds he says.

I dont trust lists or stats either.


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## careme (Sep 21, 2012)

@ chef bilby.

Great list ( post 7 ). I laughed I cried and showed my kids  " thats Me" and it doesn't go away and quitting doesnt cure it.

the arse crack heals though but it takes years


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## careme (Sep 21, 2012)

super glue is what fancy people use instead of batter and a deep fryer.


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## chef garnette (Aug 30, 2012)

I would to some degree agree with you Chef Bilby. I personally love my profession as a chef, though i have chosen to work smarter so some of those tough things don't apply to me. But, i agree; some employers actually tend to abuse chefs and make our career so weird. Some countries are not beneficial to chefs. Its so painful. Imagine working for two months and still not getting your salaries while keeping record of so much money you make on a daily basis. Verify your sales, all your inventory is up to date, no loss, 120% Profit but still not getting your salaries, what would you call that? Bad career, or Wrong Employer? In these days when employment is not easy to find, well; then where does a chef run to? ... and your boss says, there is no Money to pay salaries.


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## bimbim0302 (Oct 26, 2013)

I do not think this is the objective opinion of a chef, it's like a very mixed opinions subjective, short-sighted.


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## alaminute (Aug 22, 2013)

The 50.. List has been floating around for about a year now, and I'm not gonna copy and paste it but there's also a rebuttal easily found on Google.


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## mrmexico25 (Jan 7, 2012)

Yea, I would quit. Plain and simple.


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## cobes (Oct 31, 2013)

cheflayne said:


> Stitches? What are these stitches that they speak of?/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


I've done it. Left hand. Lower left palm. Five stitches on the skin and 3 underneath. Coring a stupid tomato. Came right back and closed.


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## kaiquekuisine (Apr 11, 2013)

You read the list and wonder...... why the F*ck do i do this again. 

It isnt for the money ( their are easier jobs that pay more )

It isnt for the chicks ( or studs either )

It isnt for the fame

It isnt for the recognition

It isnt for the glory

It isnt for the vacations

It isnt for other thousands of reasons anyone could come up with...

well it must be for the love of food , at least thats why i work in the industry. 

Food reminds me of great childhod memories , and that rush on the line to me is like a drug. 

Only thing that beats that is the customers honest happy smile. 

The advanatge of being a cook though.... you can work anywhere in the world legally or ilegally


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## theperegrine (Jul 17, 2012)

51. You will lose your ability to make small batches of anything.


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## soesje (Dec 6, 2012)

peregrine? no you won't. I would not know why you would..... its easy enough if you know ratios for a recipe to make small batches....


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## theperegrine (Jul 17, 2012)

Joking. This whole thread is tongue in cheek.


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