# Divorce



## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Does anyone know of any chef that hasn't had at LEAST one? It's almost funny. Actually it is until it happens to you, I guess.


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## katbalou (Nov 21, 2001)

yep, me. been married for 18 yrs. now to the same guy and no previous marriages, for either of us. am i the rarity? i hope not. 
i don't what to say to help you, other than i hope you make it through ok.
kat


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

I'm not divorced. I'm 48, single and NOT gay.


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

48 an unmarried. You're the envy of all divorcees!! Gay, straight, ugly, cute or drop-dead gorgeous, someone somewhere can get tired of your crap. LOL! Kat I think it may not happen as much as I think but you are the exception. Remember this: *The #1 cause of divorce is marriage!*


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Among other reasons for divorce, I think that two major causes are that people settle for less than what they really want and that people change over time.


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Culinarian 247,i have met quite a few who are in the hospitality industry here in the U.K. who are divorced.I`m sorry to hear about this misfortune.
The divorce rate here for people like ourselves is around 70%.

The main problem most people tell me,is due to their unsocial hours.One lady,who was a conference & banqueting manager,said she began to feel isolated from her children.
This lady said that her husband understood but her children just saw her as a visitor.Their dad was their hero,the person who was always there for them. 
Divorce can be a nasty business,which is made worse when children are involved.
I am 44 and have never been married,i put my career first.
I love children and have lots of patience with them,but i don`t plan to line some lawyer`s pockets.This may have something to do with me being a cynic!
Leo.:chef:


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## fodigger (Jul 2, 2001)

I've been married for over 16 yrs. now and wouldn't change a thing.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

I'm coming up on 8 years married and my wife has got to be the most patient, understanding, forgiving, humble, loving, compassionate, adventurous & focused person in the world to stick with me through all the hills and valleys of this career of standing in front of the stove. 
That's all I can say.


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

16+ years and counting.

Happy as a pig in..well you know! 
+ the two most beautiful daughters in the world (IMHO)


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## chefgbs (Jul 3, 2002)

You guys obviously haven't read the manual for becoming a chef. It states that one must be married at least twice in order to become a chef. I'm on my second (and last because she's a keeper) marriage. Most of the chefs I know have been married or divorced twice. 

It's funny. My wife is the first non restaurant/hotel woman I had ever dated and she has been more understanding and supportive than all the others combined. 

My first marriage (to a restaurant manager) lasted a year and a half. For some reason she couldn't understand why I spent so much time at work. 

I am approaching my seventh anniversary and lately there's this nagging itch. LOL

Ciao for now


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## nick.shu (Jul 18, 2000)

oh, im a lousy chef then.


heheh


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

You sure got that right! Never imagined Id be divorced before 25.  9 yrs and a baby for nothing . Only married for 2 yrs before the breakup. Theres alot more to a person than just a nice face and body. So I went for personality and finally got it right this time.  Its going on 4 years now. He's a waiter....who said BOH and FOH couldn't get along. 


I know some people are having fun figuring out the math....but your calculations are correct.  Can you say...high school sweetheart?


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Shawty Cat,you and your husband prove that marriage CAN have positive points.You both have a career which,by and large,involves a great deal of stress and hard work.
As for BOH and BOH being able to co-operate outside work,i know a female chef and waiter who are married.They both work in a high profile establishment in Central London.They also have a baby girl,who is wonderful,aren`t all babies?
It just goes to show that some people,including yourself and hubby,are willing to be loyal to someone.To me a relationship is like a car,if you don`t put anything in,you get nothing out of it.
What`s that old saying about someone writing a cheque their mouth can`t cash? 
I say GOOD LUCK to anyone who is happy in a relationship.
I am not critical of marriage,it suits some and not others.
Leo.:chef:


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

Well , I guess Im a bona fide chef then cause Ive been married 2 times . The first was a cocktail waitress and the second was the bartender . Right now Im seeing a nurse to help me heal from my past adventures . At least Im moving up as far as my family is concerned , but falling in love is fun . 
I suggest a toast to the loves of our lives , May we be happy now . Your friend in food , Doug......................................


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## davewarne (Feb 4, 2001)

There's always one isn't there. 28 yrs married and working in catering and working together. 
I think it all comes down to being able to see the other point of view. We're certainly not a match. I like markets, thrift shops and staying in. I can't get organised and don't get into gear until the last moment. I love desserts, big bits of meat and more desserts.
She hates people, (most), junk, disorder and starts work an hour early so as to be ready in plenty of time. Eats fish, cheese and salads.
Wouldn't change anything.

LEO I think 70% is pushing it a bit.....

David


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Dave,the 70% divorce figure was published in Caterer and Hotelkeeper magazine three years ago.I doubt that it has changed that much to be blunt.I remember the article because i was doing my NVQ 4 Advanced Craft Diploma course at the time.I also remember discussing the article with some tutors.Hopefully,the rate has dropped,it is still far too high!!
It has got to get better,it can`t get worse.
Two final points:
1) i`ve never been married so i don`t have to think about facing divorce.
2)NVQ 4 is,according to the City and Guilds Institute,slightly higher than the CGLI 706/3,it is a management qualification.
Best wishes,Leo.


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## davewarne (Feb 4, 2001)

Whoopps...
That's what comes of making sweeping statements about sweeping statements. Why get married at all? Still I suppose many don't.
I did 706/1 and 706/2 at Westminster Hotel School. I always thought I'd get back for the 706/3 but somehow lost the art of studying. Still it's all different now ( since 1970!)

Best wishes

Dave


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Dave,no harm done,i`ve got very thick skin. 
You mentioned the old 706/1 + 2,i know quite a few people who would like to see that brought back!!I did the 706 courses myself,hard work but worth it and still required by some companies.
BTW,Westminster College merged with Kingsway College(in Holborn) last year.It`s now called Westminster Kingsway.
Look after yourself and don`t work too hard,Leo.


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

Okay, you guys, enough of this Brit-chat. What the heck are those exams or courses or whatever-they-are? You've really piqued my interest. But maybe the explanation should go into a new thread.


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Suzanne,sorry for the references to British chef training courses.In short,the City and Guilds of London Institute are responsible for a wide range of college courses.The CGLI 706 1/2 and 3 courses were the standard routes for all aspiring chefs.These courses were abolished about 7 years ago,they were considered TOO HARD!! 
Best wishes,Leo.


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