# Funny Lables in the walk-in



## chicago chef (Jan 19, 2011)

Just wondering what funny things you have seen on labels in the walk-in, or anywhere else in your kitchen. The other day i was going through the walk-in trying to find some bleu cheese, and was having a hard time, until i noticed the container labeled "Bloochies" and found what i was looking for.


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

nope no funny labels...did have a guy that was starting as a prep that had no idea what he was doing. I sent him into the walk-in for some parsnips he came back saying we didn't have any...i said there is a new 50lb bag of them in there, right next to the carrots. He said "oh, you mean the white carrots? I was looking for the white beet things."/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


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## jellly (Jan 3, 2005)

I have seen many, my favorite was the rhubarb.  Once it was labeled "Red Celery", which is at least descriptive, but after my chef tried to explain the name, it later was labeled "RuPaul".


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## gunnar (Apr 3, 2008)

Jellly said:


> I have seen many, my favorite was the rhubarb. Once it was labeled "Red Celery", which is at least descriptive, but after my chef tried to explain the name, it later was labeled "RuPaul".


Rhubarb the transvestite celery. lol.


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## stl243 (Dec 16, 2010)

" 'mator paste"

thats about it.  turns out we were low on labels and really short on masking tape.


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## chefgord (Sep 28, 2009)

Butt Chix-butterflied chicken

Grimlock-garlic

Ass-asiago


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## highlander01 (Apr 30, 2010)

We once had a salesman rename FUdge CaKe at the registers which also renamed it on the customers ticket .... take the upper case letters and I think you will get the idea /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


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## allium (Dec 8, 2010)

Ball syrup - balsamic syrup

(Anything that can be turned into a phallic reference while still being recognizably labeled, will be turned into a phallic reference.)

My favorite was seeing a box of urinal cakes with the following scrawled upon it: "Cherry-flavored breath mints."


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

Those are good guys!

I have seen

John Wayne  - Western Mix

Let's Elope  - sliced canteloupe

Hammy Hamster - julienned ham

Nothing as funny as the urinal cakes but I'm sure my time will come...LOL


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

Ahh...

...but have you ever stuffed a urinal cake (pina colada comes to mind...) down the a/c vent in the girls changeroom?


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## jeffreyag (Feb 6, 2011)

Our demi-glace has become demi moore glace...


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## warba (Feb 28, 2010)

Highlander01 said:


> ... had a salesman rename FUdge CaKe .... take the upper case letters and I think you will get the idea /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


We had a "clever" FOH supervisor change all the waitstaff's names on the squirrel pos terminals to match their "personalities". Most were just funny "binky, fluffoid, fancy boy", etc. but one unfortunate gal got a reference to her being, well, let's just say a "fun and very enthusiastic date".

FOH supervisor didn't quite think through that these names would print on customer checks. He got spanked.


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## junglist (Jul 13, 2010)

My chef has some marinade labelled 'goo' in our walk-in. That's the name in her recipe book too...

We have 'butt squash' for our butternut squash.

One time one of our chefs used way too much salt in a mixture for meatballs and cooked them all without making a 'taster' first. For a while we had a container of meatballs labelled 'salty balls'.


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## knife4hire (Jan 7, 2011)

I once got in trouble a long time ago for labelling some old smelly cheese "stinky Ass Cheese''. Our morning prep person mistook the label thinking it was Asiago and shredded up the entire wheel. Turns out that cheese WASN"T asiago and it WASN'T supposed to be shredded. wooops. haha. 

I have also seen A bucket of Mire Poix labeled "mirror pwah"

and a pan of airline breasts labeled "chicken boobs"

I've seen many other funny labels, but those are the first ones I could think of.


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

foodpump said:


> Ahh...
> 
> ...but have you ever stuffed a urinal cake (pina colada comes to mind...) down the a/c vent in the girls changeroom?


Uhm well I am a girl so NO!! Mind you it would be fun to do in the boys changeroom.. it can only improve the odour in there...


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

I actually have a recipe for "Mud" from my sister in law.  In my file I call it "mary's mud" and it's actually quite tasty and good on buns with a side salad


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## neilybhoy (Feb 8, 2011)

best thing i saw out front was when the GM decided to label all the cutlery boxes, forks, knifes, soup spoons, sundae spoons, etc. we changed forks to tuesday forks. didnt realise for weeks

in the kitchen always "semis" for sun-blushed tomatoes, "baby moo" for veal and "bawz" for meatballs, "sex mash" when you make good mash


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## chef friese (Feb 9, 2011)

Got lots of them

balsamic- ballsack

jus -  jews

pork jus - pig jus

duck confit- duk confee

hollandays

Once I sent a kid to the cooler for mushrooms and he said we are out all we have are shit takes , will they work?


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2011)

oh ...oh my ummmmyeha


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## Guest (Feb 11, 2011)

i go in to a walk in and there lies a buckey labled chix tities lol


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## byrdie (Nov 24, 2010)

There are many of those labels, both intentional and unintentional..  either way, they were funny when found.

roasted veal bones -> "feel bones"

scallions -> "stallions"

goulash -> "goolash"

bruschetta -> "broshetta" -> "brother Shetta"

lasagna -> "lasana"

noodle -> "nuddle"

aioli -> "ayolie"

Those were unintentional..

mustard -> mouse turd

vegetables -> vagi

focaccia -> fo-crotch

tomato butter -> Tom's Butt -> The Ass (there was a guy named Tom.. we'd be asking him for "the ass")

breasts -> tits

walleyes -> Walter (8-10oz), Wallettes (4-6oz)

Those were intentional..


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## nosmasta (Feb 16, 2011)

I used to label my candied pecans "Nos' Nuts" and simple syrup "Nos' Nectar". Got a few laughs out of asking people to grab those items.


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## lemonzest (Feb 20, 2011)

Our Honey Dijon dressing is often labeled "Hune D. John."


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## chefcash (Feb 21, 2011)

chicken breast: chicken breasticles... just yesterday


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## bughut (Aug 18, 2007)

Dried garlic, chilli, salt mix is labelled ooomph!

Reason behind that, is, when you're not sure what the dish needs to make it right, it needs a bit of oomph.   Amazing how often it works


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

"Cawkasin Bread".... cawkasin?! So, I'm thinking... somebody did something from some cultural recipe book. Nope! Cawkasin... caucasian!!! Caucasian Bread = White bread!


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## global taste (Feb 23, 2011)

Have found Demi labeld as 'Ashton's sugar-mama'


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## corey gatto (Mar 10, 2010)

i use to label balsamic dressing as dirty balls water hahahah, the chef asked who did that and i said i did and he goes, ;;thats awsome,''


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## skagitchef (Jan 3, 2011)

Back in the early 80's I worked in a busy Scottsdale AZ restaurant and we would lable everything with something goofy.  Omelet batter became WOMBAT,  mushrooms of course were SHROOMS, sliced zucchini were ZOOKS,  and I'm sure there were many others but that was a long time ago.


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

I had written the soups on the kitchen board. One was tomato basil. Due to lack of space, I abbreviated it Tom. Basil. One of the waitstaff came back laughing so hard she was crying. She had been taking an order and at the table next to her was a newer waitress who told her customers the soups were New England clam chowder and Tom Basil. (Not to be confused with his brother Joe Basil.) I couldn't wait until we had Manhattan clam chowder so she could tell people the soup is Man Clam. And this woman was a teacher. God help us. And I don't think there's a kitchen in the world that doesn't label stroganoff "horny bull". My crews tend to go in more for pornographic food sculpture. You should see what they can do with a turkey neck and gizzard, misshapen vegetables, etc. Once when someone left the baked potaoes in the oven all night on low and they dried up they made a Mr. Potato Head that looked remarkably like the owner. We had it in the back room and were going to get rid of it before he came in on Fri.as usual. He came in on Thurs.instead.  We went oops. He actually thought it was pretty funny. I told him I was surprised he recognized himself as we forgot to leave a bald spot on the back of the head.


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## deacon (Jan 13, 2011)

creamed whore's rash = creamy horseradish

butt cream = butter cream sauce

and I even found some left over roast beef lebeled "beef curtains" that gave me a nice chuckle at 6am


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## scarletswitchit (Mar 30, 2011)

warba said:


> We had a "clever" FOH supervisor change all the waitstaff's names on the squirrel pos terminals to match their "personalities". Most were just funny "binky, fluffoid, fancy boy", etc. but one unfortunate gal got a reference to her being, well, let's just say a "fun and very enthusiastic date".
> 
> FOH supervisor didn't quite think through that these names would print on customer checks. He got spanked.


Hopefully this spaking isn't referencing his very enthusiastic date. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


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## psycho chef (Feb 1, 2007)

We always have a gallon cambro of CREAMY HO in our box for french dip sandwiches. =^)


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

Greyeagle I laughed so hard at your post! Good thing your owner had a sense of humour about it.

Mis-shapen vegetables.. they can be fun.. I have seen carrots that could do bodily harm, and cucumbers that can really let your imagination wander. This poor homefry must have been cut from a huge potato as it was six times bigger than his counterparts. We were bored that day so we named him Potato Six and one of the cooks shot a video. (anyone who has me on FB can see the video and yes the female voice and laughter in the background is me)



Yeah we were bored that day... it was the end of lunch and we were getting ready to start shutting down when we saw the monster!


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## blwilson2039 (Aug 26, 2010)

I am SO glad I came across this thread after venturing out from the pastry chef's forum. I laughed my ass off. My favorite mis-labels to date are:

"Ron Cake" = Rum cake (who the hell is "Ron" anyway?)

"I'm so sorry chef" = a whole sheet pan of bacon that was burnt

"Danish Hamlet" = diced ham that we didn't want the night shift to use (we knew they wouldn't understand)

"Good Stuff" = chicken salad we all liked a lot

However, the health department didn't see the humor in any of this, so we were careful to label appropriately on the other sides of each container just in case.


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