# Here's a good one..



## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

I have a wedding next weekend that was contracted for 200 guests. I used to work with the parents, so I gave the daughter a nice price for a big menu. Two weeks ago, she told me that she had rec'd RSVP's from 100. Now, mind you, Dad's paid for 3/4 of the cost of 200 at that point.

I met with mom and bride this week (one week prior to the big day) at the function hall they've rented and the manager there asked her for a firm seating count. They skirted the issue, so I hung back to hear what they said. They told her 140- "the kids won't need seats" . Huh? The mgr says that of course they'll sit and they'll sit in seats that are designated for adults and the adults will end up with no place to sit. Bride says, "well, we're not counting kids- they'll run around and not eat anyway". So I piped in and said that I charge 1/2 price for kids over a certain age and full price for kids over 12, so I'd like to get a firm FIRM count if you please. Mom then says that no, they're not counting kids because they won't eat. (It's been my experience that she's exactly right- they won't EAT, but they'll certainly TAKE a cartload of food off a buffet! Which food is mine if they've not paid for it...)

So I called the manager and asked a few logistical questions and then asked how many she's setting up for. She said 156! I'll do the math for you; that's 16 over the number for which she's intending to pay me. Even if they're all kids at half price, that's still money owed to me.

I'd love to place a server at the head of the buffet line and turn away ALL children. Maybe make an announcement that adults only may now help themselves to the buffet and are allowed only ONE plate. Send a server to each table and rip the food away from any unpaid minors? Maybe have my photographer taking pictures of children eating and send them to the dad with the final bill....

What a bi*ch.


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## bluezebra (May 19, 2007)

Man, have the talk with her now...also did you do a contract? If not you should have and really look into making one up for future use. Get her to sign a contract Monday or else look at pulling out if you have to and it's that important to you. Always always always have a contract that discusses your routine policies and also discusses anything unique to that gig.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

You're absolutely right, but because I used to work with the parents, I felt a little weird about the whole contract signing. We have a contract, but it doesn't specify minimum numbers only the payment schedule. On the other hand, I thought they'd be honest enough not to try to get something for nothing. Too late now, but I guess I'll contact her and tell her what my normal policy is.

Another oddity about this wedding is that we set out the payment schedule requiring that they pay 25% up front, and three more equal payments, the final one due one week prior to the wedding. The bride brought in 25% of what the first payment should have been-$375 as opposed to $1500. Her father contacted me and told me that she had no idea how much her food/catering should cost. I've since heard through the grapevine that the grandparents have asked around at area restaurants to see if I was ripping her off. Luckily, my friend, who owns one of the restauants called me to give me a heads up. 

They are getting the deal of the century at $21.95 plus tax and service for 4 entrees including chicken, beef, crab stuffed sole, and pasta; 4 sides, 4 apps including shrimp cocktail. Total bill was to be around $6K for 200 people.

She may be a bit*h, but I am a sucker. I'm going to keep thinking about last weekend's wedding where the bride and the mother of the groom hugged me because they were so happy with everything. They had the photographer come into the food prep tent and take a picture of my crew and myself at the couple's request. The groom even came into the shop and tipped me $500 a couple of days after. 

I can bet the farm that I won't be getting any kind of tip this Saturday....:lol: I think I'll be chasing them for the final couple of hundred dollars for months to come.


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## bluezebra (May 19, 2007)

Get the final payment before the day or I can see the writing on the wall...you won't get paid. Also, I would go ahead and have the contract signed. Explain to them that because of some of their actions, it's moved this out of the friendship realm and into a realm where it must be pure business. And failure to do that will result in you having to regretfully pull out of the gig. You have a responsibility to protect your business and your staff.


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## aprilb (Feb 4, 2006)

Friends, Family and Business don't mix. If you want to continue to ever communicate with these people ever again without wanting to slap the c**p out of them then run away. Recommend someone you know and trust...but Uh Uh!

I always find it hard to swallow that these people with bend over backwards to do the right thing when it comes to strangers but have no problem jepordizing relationships or taking advantage of 'good deals' that acquantances will give "out of friendship" <Yeah, like THEY won't pay you MORE because you're a friend...>

Is it just me? ARGH!

You're coming down to the wire here. Definitely write everything down very carefully, point by point and present it to the signers of the paycheck. NOW. If they don't sign you have to decide where you want to go with this. I sure would not want to be in your shoes. (even though in the past I'd be the first to do the same thing for 'family'. never again)

I agree, do NOT serve unless you are paid. You can nicely make that clear to the wedding party. I don't mean being handed a check when you're unloading chafers from your truck. I wouldn't even wait until the day before. You would need a little time to be able to decide if you want to proceed or not and they can perhaps get one of those restaurants that they contacted to fill the bill for...what? A hamburger and hotdog roast? Perhaps you could defer to accounting or some part of the culinary financial world that they wouldn't understand? (I know it's a stretch, but it depends on how much you want to remain friends, which from the reference to a certain female individual I'm guessing not) Plus that dad running around behind your back is ... no I'm not even going to go there.

H*ll, 22 bucks for your spread sounds like a steal.

I suppose they could go order 170 Whopper meals if they're worried about cost! (Just no toy until they finish their fries! LOL)

April


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## nowiamone (Jan 23, 2005)

I've heard of some catering companies sending wedding customers to those short time loan companies. You get paid before ceramony, and someone else chases them for the money.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

I'm with the others.
They've only paid $375 so far and the wedding is a week away?!!!!! 
.....payment in full NOW, everything spelled out.....kids cost x

if you're not adding tips for staff to the bill figure out what that would be and add it on with a *

their numbers are 156 that's 20+% less than the initial bid count.....your losing out on the bottom line already.

"No good deed goes unpunished."
not sure who initially said it, but this seems to be one of those times.

Does that count include the photographer, band or any others that may eat?


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

NO, no, no! I'm sorry I wasn't clear! The first payment was only $375. Since then, the dad has been paying me to catch her up. At this point, the balance they owe around $1500 based on 200 guests. Since her numbers are down, the payment could be considerably smaller. My problem in this is that she refuses to count the children in the total #. We'll see what she says when I add on the DJ and photographer.

If I had only collected $375 and the wedding is a week away, I should get smacked in the head! Friends or no friends, that would have been beyond stupid! Actually, they're not friends; I used to work with them so if this whole thing goes south, I won't miss them at all. I'll be there on Saturday, though. I can't see the point in ruining my reputation over a couple hundred dollars. I'm pretty sure that the dad will pay up as he's the only one in the whole bunch of them with a brain.

They are getting a good deal, but I'll also make a profit- just not the profit I would have made had I charged her what the gig is worth. People just don't realize that it's no easy feat to bring the restaurant to them. All that goes into doing that is an amazing amount of work and shouldn't be taken for granted.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

ok, better. 
bleck, I hate messy arrangements....happens to us all....


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

bleck..good word!

My contract isn't great. Would you, shroom, or anyone else care to share a copy of theirs with me? I'd really appreciate it.


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## nowiamone (Jan 23, 2005)

Who is the contract with? The father or the daughter? Always get the guy with the money to sign the contract.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

The contract is with the 24 year old daughter. Her father has bailed her out of this financial mess. This is an adult woman who lives on her own. I don't see how I could have forced her to have daddy come in to sign a contract.


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## bluezebra (May 19, 2007)

shoulda, woulda, coulda I don't think any of us can look back in hindsight and say we've never made an error in judgement regarding how to do business, I know I sure have made tons of them over the years! But the situation your in right now is a tough one. Grin and bear it and do the best you can to get as much money as possible today and tomorrow...

The way to do the contract with her was to get it either signed with a credit app (which I prolly would have done since it was such a big chunk of change) and if she flunked, I would have said you have to have someone else sign on the contract with you. Everything would be in writing, and number of guests would be confirmed within 5 days of the party and failure to have the last payment made by x date would result in a forfiture of funds to date and cancellation of the party...It should also talk about the facilities and any disclaimers or protection you need to have for yourself in it (such as, running water, sinks, fridges, cooking equipment, electricity, a/c...whatever), and also discuss that outside contractors would be considered part of the head count (that means if you feed the dj, they pay for the dj), also how children are treated regarding head counts. As painful sometimes as negotiating price and terms can be, especially when you are in a "family/friend" situation, it's well worth it and avoids trauma and hurt feelings down the road. Isn't it better to get screwed when you have nothing invested in something? Rather than scrambling and praying you get paid out the "goodness of people's hearts"? Trust me, people will respect you more for having established and consistent business practices versus being "cheap". No value is ever placed on cheap. If someone doesn't have to sweat a little to pay for something, they place very little value on it and it's considered a disposable commodity.

It is well worth getting a lawyer to do a simple contract for you. You can also google it and see what you come up with. But should be easy to maybe even barter with a small contract law practice in your neighborhood or town.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Great idea about bartering for the contract. I'll look into it.

I just sent off a note to the bride and said that I needed the final final count _including_ kids and outside contractors. I told her I was planning to put out 140 plates so I wanted to be sure that was the correct number of guests as the hall manager and I seemed to have different numbers.

I'm sure she's cursing me right now because she thought she was going to get away with something. So did the mother...obviously, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

Many years ago a business consultant friend gave me some advice. FWIW, I'd like to pass it on, as it has bearing on this discussion.

"Never," he insisted, "offer friends and family a discount. Either charge them full bore, or give it to them for free."

Anything in between, he pointed out, is a sure-fire way to hard feelings and a minimum. 

Been my experience that he was 100% on the mark.


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## goose (Feb 12, 2007)

That is interesting advise, but I need to ask...why is that? What is the logic behind it? I guess what I would like to know is, what hard feelings can be had when, say you charge family cost of everything? Meaning, you charge just enough for the food, rentals, employees, etc., but you as the business owner don't make anything off of it? I believe in cutting family a break (now, I am not a caterer, so maybe it is different, but I am speaking in general terms). Friends, or in this case "friends" are a different story. I can agree with that philosophy...

Just curious.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

Panera does the same thing.....they NEVER discount their product EVER.

Lentil, check the archives our contracts were discussed 1.5-2 years ago....
I'm really building separate prices with headcounts, ie....200-151 guests $10pp, 150-100 guests $15pp, 99-75 $19pp etc.....man it has saved me when counts just aren't what was initially projected.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

I don't understand what you mean. Could you explain further? Thanks!


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

I agree with KY, but don't always adhere to that advice.....family is family.....friends hopefully are customers.

Archives.....chef talk has archives of threads going back throughout the ages...actually I'm unclear as to how far they really go back but they should contain info on catering contracts.....we were pretty detailed.

Volume is profit, if a customer says they want a bid on an event that will have approx 300 guests I will write a contract that will have larger costs for less guests. For example one conference had a breakfast and lunch supposedly for 300 guests, final count was 125....well my math says that 300 is a whole lot more profit than serving the same menu at the same price to less than half the projected guest count. So on large parties I breakdown the guest count into usually 50 person increments and increase the food costs proportionally. Funny how 151 guest counts come in regularly instead of 140.


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## jigz369 (Apr 20, 2007)

So let me get this right.... 4 entree choices for $21.95 per person? Are you nuts??!! I recently left an operation where 90+% of our business was catering, weddings mostly. For $21.95 per person you'd do well to get burgers with all the fixings and a cold salad buffet. I would suggest you get the bride to pay you outright TODAY. Get a guaranteed number of guests, and include the kids! And don't get bullied over this by the parents. If they have an issue, drop the contract, give the money back (less an appropriate handling fee), and chalk this one up to experience. I've always hated when people try to take advantage of others simply because of a previous tie. You have my condolences having to deal with such unscrupulous people, good luck!


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

They are getting the deal of the century at $21.95 plus tax and service for 4 entrees including chicken, beef, crab stuffed sole, and pasta; 4 sides, 4 apps including shrimp cocktail. Total bill was to be around $6K for 200 people.

So, rentals were not included but were part of the hall?

my website has prices....Wedding Catering St. Louis Barbecue, Events Chanterelle Catering though I cannot remember catering 4 entrees.

Most of mine are two, with green salad, veg (most often an extensive platter), starch....rice/potatoes, rolls/butter.

I hope your aps aren't labor intensive and your pasta dish is easy.
No mention of desserts, so I assume they are having wedding cake. Do you add a cutting fee?
No mention of beverages.....are you providing them? refilling water?


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Hold on, Jigz! She is pretty much paid up EXCEPT for the children which she doesn't want to count because she doesn't think they'll eat. I know I'm not the most savvy of caterers, but I'm not a complete idiot. :beer: 

Yes, the menu is extensive, and no, I'm not handling ANY of the rentals. I am using all the china, flatware, glassware, AND the entire fully equiped kitchen at the country club on the parent's dime. I have charged them a service charge that will cover every one of my help as well as myself which charge is over and above the food cost. I WILL make an okay profit on the food, even though, yes, I gave them a very, very good price. While the menu is extensive, all items are simple.

I learn a lot from each job I cater, and I learn a lot each time I come her to ask for your advice. The actual dollar amount that I will be out should I never collect a dime for the children's meals will amount to between $160 and $200. Another lesson learned, although short of scratching the contract on her forearm, I don't see that she'd look at the situation any differently.


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## bluezebra (May 19, 2007)

I'm not KYHeirloomer but I play him on tv  hahahaha! Goose I would think the reason your either give it away or treat em as a normal customer is because someone will ALWAYS feel like the other party is trying to get something over on them.

Beware of barter situations for the same exact reason. 

If you do decide to go against his great advice, you must follow the discount with an airtight contract lol. An airtight contract is pretty rare lol! But you tend to let people you are close to have looser boundaries than you would with a normal client.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Shroom,

We aren't cutting the cake, or at least we weren't contracted to. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if we end up doing it, though. I've charged up to $2pp to cut the cake, but have been told that's too low. I figure at a wedding of 80 ppl, that's $160. It takes very little time to cut and either place the cake on the buffet or serve it- I feel very mercenary charging more. What do all of you charge?

There is a full bar provided by the CC and they are a hard drinking crowd. I am providing 3 glass crocks- one with lemonade, one with iced tea, and one with a non-alcoholic punch. We are pouring water and coffee tableside and I always have servers man the buffet. I've found that my food costs are greatly reduced by having the meats served and I think it's a little classier especially at a wedding. Just my personal preference.

I'm going to check out your website right now. Thanks so much for all your help...


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

cake cutting $125 flat fee. But occasionally have afterwards wanted to charge more for the pain of dbl cakes/pillars etc..

So, curious minds wanna know, how'd it go this weekend?
Were you able to find the contracts threads? if not one of the helpful site administrators may be able to pull them up.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Smack in the middle of another dinner (an easy one this time, though) for 100. Will tell you all about last night when I come out from under this one. I am tired....


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

It went pretty well, I guess. The kitchen was pretty strange- fully equipped, but with only 1 work table. We had brought 2 of ours, so it wasn't a problem, but I'm sure glad we had them. Plating 140 salads wouldn't have been much fun without them!

The bride was a sullen witch, but that really didn't affect me. The biggest problem was with the dj's. One of my waitresses came bolting into the kitchen a full 30 minutes before the meal was to be served and said that the dj's had started directing the guests to the buffet. The fish was still in the oven. I said something to the effect of "are they f'ing nuts?", to which the dj, who had been standing right behind me said, "No, we're not f'ing nuts, but you're f'ing behind schedule!" It went on for another round with me saying that I was working from the schedule the bride gave me and he said so was he. Turns out the dimwitted bride didn't coordinate the schedules. I told them to hold off and we'd let them know when the buffet was ready just like every other wedding we've done. (since when do dj's tell the guests to eat without checking with the kitchen?) To get me back, when we were ready, he told the guests, "well, I guess the buffet is finally ready.":lol:

Water under the bridge since the guests were happy.

We got some wonderful comments on our display especially on the apps and beverage tables. I used the glass riser idea which looked really great! Thanks for the idea. 

Naturally, the kids all ate just as we all knew they would, but her numbers were down from the final count and I decided that it would be best if I just let it drop. I talked to her father and let him know that I could have charged her more, but I wouldn't. He knows what a deal she got, and I got good will. I now have 8 lbs of pot roast and 5+ lbs of cooked shrimp that I held back. Specials will be good this week 

Now I'm crossing my fingers that that crowd doesn't call me again.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

gotta love DJ's.....what a trip!
Glad everything worked out.


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## fodigger (Jul 2, 2001)

I can't believe the prices. we start at 23.00 for a basic chicken plus tax and a 20% service charge. I'm glad it worked out for you though.

P.S. nice website Shroomgirl!


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Well, NH isn't CA, but you're absolutely right! That party had been booked for a long time and I've learned a lot since then. You can rest assured that my prices won't be that low for so much ever again. I was doing it because I knew the people, but the funny thing is that I'm not even sure they had any clue of the value they rec'd. It got to the point that I was figuring that there may be one or 2 ppl out of their entire guest list that would be impressed and I may get more jobs out of them. The mgr of the CC where it was held was very impressed with the food and presentation so I've made it to her list of caterers at least.

I had forgotten, but we even did shrimp cocktail in martini glasses for the head table and NOT ONE OF THOSE MORONS even noticed.

Glad to be done with them.

Tonight is a small cocktail party for 35 for a non-profit- nori, summer rolls, fruit, antipasti, cheese and crackers, crocks of non-alc beverages and the price total price with service and rentals is 1/5 of the trashy wedding for 140. I'm learning.....


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## kyheirloomer (Feb 1, 2007)

>That is interesting advise, but I need to ask...why is that? What is the logic behind it? I guess what I would like to know is, what hard feelings can be had when, say you charge family cost of everything? Meaning, you charge just enough for the food, rentals, employees, etc.<

Goose, sorry for the delay. Somehow, the balance of this thread went right past me. 

The problem is, no matter what sort of deal you give family/friends, they think you could have done them better. That, because of the deal, you are providing poorer goods or services. Somebody will always point out, loudly, how you're "taking advantage" of family. Etc. etc. 

Rather than being thankful for the discount, they will badmouth you all over the place.

No, it's not logical. But the reality is that people do behave that way. Just ask Lentil. 

So I've always taken my friend's advice on that one. I either do the job for free, or I charge my regular rates. 

Now, it is difficult to tell family that you're going to charge them full price. They can't (or pretend they can't) understand why you won't give family a break. So, in cases like that, I refer them to professional colleagues who can charge the going rate without getting noses out of joint.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

I ran across this with the last minister of the church I rent my catering kitchen from.....he wanted a party using the old china, glassware, silverware from the church for 250 guests......had no clue what served catering costs dispite menus etc.....I told him it'd take 2 staff 8 hours to wash all the serviceware because alot of it has not been used in who knows how many years......YEARS......

2 years I provided his holiday party catering......at DEEPLY discounted rates, first year was to introduce myself and food to the congregation. Second year he said the budget's the same as last year.......that's what happens.
That was an interesting learning curve. He retired, moved to Florida and is eating early bird specials at Denny's I bet.

Free the first year would have been much more sensible.
Though I still feed my family for free.....their wedding food will be my gift to them. My brother's a chiropractor and takes care of me/my sons.....I feed them. works.


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## gozahead (Aug 2, 2007)

why is it when a bride sends out 600 invites and says "I don't expect but 150 to attend the wedding reception, so I will pay for 150 guest", and then you prepare for 150 guest and 300 guest show up. Then as the caterer I am expected to have food for 300, or do a big stetch. So many clients think nothing of not being truthful, after all, not having enough food doesn't make them look bad, it all falls on the caterer. I don't experience this problem too much, but I get so angry that I have threatened to pull all food. When they have a band, liquor, tons of flowers, paying a big fee to rent the venue, I just don't understand some of their thoughts. The food is the one things guest always remember.


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## gozahead (Aug 2, 2007)

why is it when a bride sends out 600 invites and says "I don't expect but 150 to attend the wedding reception, so I will pay for 150 guest", and then you prepare for 150 guest and 300 guest show up. Then as the caterer I am expected to have food for 300, or do a big stetch. So many clients think nothing of not being truthful, after all, not having enough food doesn't make them look bad, it all falls on the caterer. I don't experience this problem too much, but I get so angry that I have threatened to pull all food. When they have a band, liquor, tons of flowers, paying a big fee to rent the venue, I just don't understand some of their thoughts. The food is the one things guest always remember.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

gozahead....does this happen to you often? One of the things my friend does is has 10-20% food backup and states on his contract that if the guest count increases at the party there is back up food at $Xpp additional. I've only encountered that twice....once last night and once for a non-profit that underestimated by 40 guests.....thank goodness there was enough food, though we were washing plates to be able to serve more at the buffet.

Last night was a frugel customer that I have an ongoing relationship with for personal cheffing......his original count was 40 final count 80 and when I left over 90 were anticipated. The food he selected was not "dinner" by any stretch of the imagination and yet the tables were set up looking like dinner would happen. Honesty is the best policy, if hosts want everyone to eat then they should give a good count. I can't wait to hear how it turned out....


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## pgr555 (Aug 3, 2007)

I definately find people try to give me a lower count and then assume I will have enough food... I always do because the 1 time I didn't ( there were way more people than I had contracted for it was someone who had kept lowering her numbers on me as she changed her menu & prices rose - think she was less naive than me???- )people stopped hiring me for a while because in this tiny community work had spread that I ran out! Now I run into the previously mentioned leftover problem... I have good ideas from all of you on how to handle this now!:chef:


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## dmt (Jul 28, 2006)

As a potential future father of the bride (even though she *is* 24-but still lives at home), I truly appreciate this topic.
I'm "frugal" in some ways (okay, tighter than a duck's butt), and this topic has openend my eyes to the costs of a number of things that go on in the caterer's operaion that I just hadn't considered. Things (if not explicitly explained up front) which would have made me think I was getting shafted by a caterer...
Which raises a question.
How does one convince his daughter to elope???
(no offense to the catering business intended)


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

Menu changes after they've been agreed upon (unless it's a local food deal where you are partners with mother nature) have additional charges.....after stating that in a contract I've found changes just don't occur anymore. That was an early learning curve. If you are prebuying then it costs you money to change the menu.

At some point you have final count. 2 weeks is fairly standard. 
I've started putting prices based on amounts 150-200 is X 149-100 is x
etc....that way if the numbers decrease and you've given a large group discount you are not stuck with the same price for 25 as you gave for 200......

You know 25 years ago I went to a wedding reception that was in the bride's home and was potluck. It was great. The couple just graduated from doctoral programs at Tulane, had no money and it was casual.....really was a fun celebration. Just because you cook for a living doesn't mean you have to have your daughter's reception catered. Several middle of the road receptions run $15-20,000 easily. Offer a downpayment on a house or a wedding reception, should work out to be about the same.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

I also have a daughter who could be married in the not so distant future, so I know what you mean! She as actually said thatshe wants me to cater her wedding. Oh, I don't think so!!!! She revised it to say that she wants my company to cater it. Again, I don't think that would be very relaxing for me. I'm hoping for a small family gathering in the back yard. Of course, if she wants to pay for a destination wedding, I'll go along....


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## gozahead (Aug 2, 2007)

:smiles:Thanks for some great advice on how to charge for different numbers of guest. Great idea that I am going to add to my contract. My policy on final payment is 10 days prior to event and at that time they still can make changes. Usually the number is less, so I will start Monday adding the amounts charged for different numbers of people. I tell my clients that there will a small precentage of extra food and that I can cover a few extra guest. Also, I will add to my contract the suggestion that I will have back up for additional $. Maybe when they see they will still have to pay for extra mouths, they won't be too many extras to feed.:lol: Great advice, THANKS


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## dmt (Jul 28, 2006)

When my wife and I got maried (33 years ago this coming September - and no, I've *never* forgotten our anniversary), we (she) paid for our reception, which was held in her parent's back yard.

Funds were in short supply at that time in our lives...

The only "food" served was mixed nuts (how come that doesn't seem unlikely), mints, cake, and a punch served out of a carved ice (two intertwined hearts) punch bowl.

Oh, and champagne.

The champagne was such a hit that my parents privately elected to fund an expedition and send somebody out on a "bubbley run" part way into the evening (since we were about to run out), ensuring that most of the party goers would conveniently forget that the "main course" had eluded their mint/nut laden plates...

We were dumb kids, who had no idea what a "proper" wedding reception should entail.

And truth be told, I'm not sure I'd have it any other way...

Celebrate the occasion for what it is, and be glad that you were asked to be included, and if needed, grab a burger on the way home...

We've entertained the idea of offering a down payment on a house instead of forking money out for a one shot deal like a reception (again, no intentional slight to caterers), while holding a small reception here in our backyard. Probably will offer something more nourishing than mixed nuts and mints...

Even thought about cooking for 50 myself, if only to keep me busy, and not turning into a sniffling pile of goo as the reality of my ony daughter getting married sinks in...

Or hire a chef (have a few local contacts - and pay the asking price) to handle the food, while I supervise operations at the bar.

Nah... That bar part ain't gonna work out either. I'll just lock myself in the garage...


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

DMT, you are too funny...and right on the mark.

When we got married 23 years ago, our plan was to elope because my youngest sister was planning a big wedding for 6 months later. I didn't want to steal her show by having a big to-do. We also had no money and weren't sold on the whole "wedding" thing. Another sister got wind of the pending elopement and threatened to sever all ties if we didnt' do it right. We ended up having 30 people at her house and the family did all the food. It was very nice. If I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. I do, however, wish I had registered for some nice china and flatware....

If my emotional state at my daughter's departure to college is any indication of how I'll behave at her (or my son's) wedding, they're going to want to elope themselves. I was some kind of sobbing fool! I don't think either one of them will want to suffer the humiliation of having their mom a wailing, tear-soaked mess in the front row....


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

goza "My policy on final payment is 10 days prior to event and at that time they still can make changes."

When you leave the door open to menu changes so close to the event you aren't able to book other events with the same food and it takes more of your time to keep changing. Just my two cents.....


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## david jones (Jan 15, 2000)

Tell the bride's father the following, "It doesn't seem like we can have an honest arrangement, so here is a check for the monies you have paid my company. I am sure that the wedding will be wonderful, whoever takes care of it."


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

David, 
Having an operating procedure in place and protecting their businesses is what seems to be lacking in several of the posters comments. If they have a CLEAR way of conducting business then there won't be a grey nebulus for clients to wallow in, thrashing around trying to get "the best deal" and not knowing what the caterers perameters are, because they are not firmly stated.

I highly recommend Roman's Catering seminars, held at Fancy Food Shows throughout the US....NYC, SF and Chicago. He just repeats.... this is your business you are in control of what you provide.


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