# Funniest thing that happened in Kitchen



## chefjohnpaul (Mar 9, 2000)

OK, here we go again, we've talked about injuries, mistakes, now
what is the funniest thing you recall happening in the kitchen or restaurant?

Mine had to do when the US Vice president's wife during the Bush regime was coming in for dinner and the Maitre 'D asked what we should offer and I said jokingly,"How about some stuffed quail."
So he went ahead and asked not realizing the joke and came back saying Mrs.Quayle would prefer salmon. I was dumbfounded that it went right over the top of his head and that he asked.

It wasn't funny at the time. It's funny now.


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## momoreg (Mar 4, 2000)

:lol: THAT is funny!


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

OMG!! Johnpaul,

I would have fallin right off my garland if this happened to me!!!


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## flash (Dec 7, 2001)

......I remember that campaign CJP. In a restaurant I was working at in CA at the time, Quayle came through our town to solicit votes having a luncheon at our restaurant. The joke was, that we were going to have as a special: Quail stuffed w/ POTATOE    Anyway, a side note, our sous chef couldn't be there that day cause he was a felon and wasn't allowed anywhere near the restaurant during the luncheon.


wish I'd been there with'ya CJP, but in a way I was:bounce: 

!Good One!







flash


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

I don't think this is quite as funny as Quayle but, I was Cheffing in Alaska right after the Valdez spill. During the subsequent trial Capt. Joseph Hazelwood would come to our restaurant to have dinner. Honestly I don't know if the message ever got to him, but we always managed to offer Salmon baked in Oil when he was there.
At the same restaurant one nights specials were Hasenpfeffer, Mahi, and Venison. We put it on the specials board as Bambi, Thumper and Flipper! Never could figure out why the owner kept a cocked eye on us!


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## shimmer (Jan 26, 2001)

I find most customers do not know how to pronounce "ch." In both of these instances, they assumed it was pronounced like the ch in church. 

Yesterday at the bakery, a snooty lady came in a demanded to know where the CHallah bread was.

And when I used to work at the chocolate shop, people would come in and ask for moCHa truffles.

And then the words like vegan, that people see all the time and feel they should embrace but can't pronounce- we used to make vegan scones at this bakery I used to work at and one day these cute old ladies came in and then asked for a veg-an scone (soft g). Hee hee!

~~Shimmer~~


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## chefjohnpaul (Mar 9, 2000)

When I was a sous chef at this little seafood restaurant we used to play a game with the bistro across the street, kind of an initiation of the new potwashers, in that we would send them over to each others establishments to borrow things that didn't exist. 

One day the chef from the other restaurant reacted to us sending over the 'green employee' for 'steam for the steam table' sending one of his over for a "souffle' pump", in which we promptly sent the fellow back with a sauce baine marie with a pastry bag attached to the top of it. He called us back with a touche' praise, and of course it was really hard to get the new guys to do anything after that.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

I was working at a pizza place once when two guys were making dough. One was a new guy and the other had been there for years. After a while of making the dough by the big hobart mixer the owner walked in and saw just the new guy standing by the mixer with a rag rubbing the top of the machine. When the owner asked what he was doing he told him that the other guy said to stay here and rub the top of the machine to keep it cool while it made the dough (also while he went for a break).


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## chiffonade (Nov 29, 2001)

I'm sure I'll think of something better later, but for now, I leave you with this...

My brother (another avid foodie) and I were preparing some veggies for the grill. My brother asked me, "How do you keep the onion from falling apart?" I explained that if one left the root intact, you could not only keep the onion together for the grill but it made the onion less unwieldy while cutting or chopping.

"The root end is your friend!" I said, quoting one of my cooking school teachers. My brother looked at me incredulously and answered, "We have *got* to get you a life."


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## slavegirl (Aug 7, 2001)

ahhh, mispronounciations. When I worked at a Peet's Coffee several years ago, older ladies would wander in at my Fillmore Street shop, all dressed in their elegant fur coats and whatnot out for a day of shopping.

They would come to the bean counter to buy beans for their home cappucino makers.

"I would like a pound of expresso."

"Certainly, ground for ESPRESSO and what roast would you like?"

Blink. Blink. "Expresso."

"Yes, but what kind? French Roat? Italian? Garuda? Blend 101?"

"EXPRESSO!"

I'd try to explain that espresso was a type of grind for use in certain methods of making coffee, vs. automatic drip or Turkish, but it just never seemed to sink in.

At home I still sometimes ask to be made a cup of EXPRESSO, then flounce out of the room.

SG


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

Call it cruelty. Call it unbridled sarcasm, but cooks are full of it. I worked at one place years ago as the lunch cook, and one of my jobs was to make the soup of the day. That day I made French Onion. So the first waitress comes back to the and looks at my pot of soup and says "French Onion?". Trying to pay her a compliment, I respond "Thats' astute" and go about my setup. A little while later she comes back and says a customer would like to know exactly what is in "Stute Soup".....
Another time when I worked saute at an upscale fish house it was common to nickname the Mahi Mahi as "Mommy Mommy". That was till a new hostess put it on the chalkboard that way and called it that all night!


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## chefjohnpaul (Mar 9, 2000)

Peachcreek-Hilarious!!!! When I was at the HILTON the cafe' chef was perplexed why he hadn't sold any specials one night. It was Fettuccine Fruits de Mer, a nice dish with lots of fresh seafood. Well, as I walk through our cafe' I over hear one of the waitresses respond to the question of what the special was and she said,"I think it's spaghetti with some kinda' fish in it."

When I told the cafe' chef he hit the ceiling! Ah yes, there are wait people and then there are wait people............:crazy:


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## katbalou (Nov 21, 2001)

aaah, waitstaff! i had one who used to make up her own specials. "well, you had this last sunday night, so i just figured you had it again" i guess there's a reason for keeping them away from the line.


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

Two words..._"Sweetish "_ Meatballs!:bounce:


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## billyg60 (Jun 28, 2001)

When we get a new busboy and it gets slow, we ask them to run across the street and get our "Bacon Stretcher" back from the other place.

So one day the chef over there-who I went to High School with--tells this 15 year old kid he isn't giving it back till I give back the left handed potato smasher. We had this kid run to the other restaurant across the street,who also do this little thing with us, to get the left handed potato smasher from restaurant 3. Restaurant 3 sends the kid to restaurant 2 to get the bacon stretcher back so we can get the potato smasher back and so on and so forth.

After about 30 min of this we let the kid in on the joke. He is now one of our better bussers and he gets to send the newbies over for the bacon stretcher


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## shimmer (Jan 26, 2001)

I just remembered something that happened when I used to be a prep cook at a restaurant. I had been regaled with tales from day 1 from some of the guys working there about what they'd heard people had to do when they first started.

Then one day, the chef handed me ten pounds of white asparagus and asked me to peel them. I totally refused. I was so sure it was a joke!! (I didn't know enough about white asparagus to know you must peel it if you want it to be tender and not bitter). So I guess the joke was on them. The sous chef peeled the asparagus, and I went home and searched on the internet, only to return sheepishly to work the next day. 

At least the chef had a sense of humor!

~~Shimmer~~:bounce: :bounce:


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## nick.shu (Jul 18, 2000)

we here in aus we had a little problem a while back with the mir spacestation.

So when the not so smart KH came in, i said "gees, what about that space station, what a hassle huh!"

KH said "what do you mean?"

i said "well, in the morning, the authorities were somewhat worried about fragments falling and braining ppl in sydney, so they were handing out hardhats to commuters at the train station, what didnt you get one?".

KH said "no i didnt, what should i do then?"

i said, "well, go up to the police station and ask for the sargeant, and he will give you one".

uh oh, didnt think he would really go and ask for one, but then again some ppl huh.


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

Wait Staff : I need an end cut of the Prime Rib , Chef : every cut comes off the end ........ 
Wait Staff : I need this done well , Chef : Everything I do is well done . There is more but let the imagination roam .


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