# Dumb kitchen moments?



## rekonball (Sep 13, 2011)

I know we all have funny kitchen stories in the restuarant industry and I can't get enough of them, they are what keeps me going . That and knife accidents, go figure, and no I'm not one of those people who laughs when someone gets hurt.I'll wait till you're better before I laugh at you.


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## cookers (Jun 11, 2011)

I caught the kitchen on fire last week! 

I was making my very own Amaretto and rum custard. Well I turned my back for only two minutes and the bar tender told me the flames were really big and I said ''Oh no that's just the alcohol reducing.'' He said oh that's very cool! You have flames shooting up the sides and everything. I turned around and the shelf above the saute station to put pans on caught on fire because of all the carbon build up under it. It caught the whole saute and grill area on fire. After I got it out, I couldn't stop laughing because of the way the bartender said it all cool and calm. I tried again while keeping an eye on it, and when I finally got it finished and popped it out of the glasses I molded it in, they looked like small boobs with a nipple because of the indent in the glass. Those custards just weren't meant to be made that day.


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## wyandotte (May 24, 2011)

Entertaining reading, Cookers! How can you put a fire out so quick and then keep on cooking right away? I should think that it would take hours to clean up the mess if you use the fire extinguisher.

How about leaving the kitchen tap running into a corked sink, then leaving the room for quite some time. Yes, I did that - twice. It is definitely "dumb"; maybe the following is not dumb but it was screechingly funny:

I left a big sinkful of dirty dishes in water then went to bed. Too tired to wash them. Next morning, I stuck my hand in to look for the dishrag, felt something soft & squishy and pulled it out...it was a drowned mouse.

This may have happened years ago but I swear that somewhere in the universe my screams are still echoing. My husband wonders, "WHY do women scream when they see a mouse [even a dead one]?" It's true, I think if I saw a massive car crash I'd be quieter.


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## rekonball (Sep 13, 2011)

I've got a whole bunch of these but I wanted to hear someone elses stories first. I used to work at a Ritz Carlton Hotel in California and if you have ever been there they use a lot of silver platters for buffets and such. Anyway I had a big morning and I just went to the silver room to get dozen platters (the platters are about 24in*x18in)very heavy. I loaded them on a cart and brought them up the elevator and parked the cart outside the department I was working in. I picked up about six or seven platters and proceded to take them inside. For reasons that escape me right now there was a waiter that wanted something for the cafe department. I had these platters on my shoulder and palm, I yelled, behind you and somehow he he thought that meant turn around and walk toward me, and yes he did. As this was happening I thought that the trays would drop and go everywhere but he came toward me and ran his forehead right into the handles of the trays, he hit so hard I could here the hollow thump like a watermelon. Anyway the trays stayed right where the were and he went down for the count. I could see his head swell already he hit so hard. I couldn't do anything because I had my hands full still. I yelled for someone to come over and whlie I was putting these heavy POS's down, people started to gather, the waiter was still out and the chef asked me what happened and I tried to tell him but I could tell he didn't understand because he was french and he thought I hit him with the trays on purpose. He started yelling at me in french with a few expletives I'm sure, thank god one of the people helping me saw the whole thing, all while the kid was on the ground. The chef ended up getting the paramedics to check him out before he went anywhere. I whole thing was explaned to the chef and he apologized to mefor thinking I would do that on purpose. The guy had a welt on his head for a week, I felt so bad about it but what could I do to ease his pain,  I think that when he heard "behind you" after that he was like a vet when a grenade goes off hoping that he would escape harm standing completly still. I cant help but smirk when I think of that story because he did the exact opposite of what anyone else would do. Just one reason to say behind you.


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## inomthings (Nov 21, 2011)

A few weeks ago, I set the stove on fire.

We had an especially busy week and the foil lining in the stoves were extra greasy... And during a Friday rush, it somehow caught on fire!
I was 15 tickets deep and couldn't stop service to put out the fire, so I kept working on orders. I'd start at one burner cooking, then Chef would pour salt over the next burner to put out the fire. We did this in rotation until the fire completely went out. Scared the crap out of us, but it's a funny story to tell.


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## culinarywarrior (Nov 20, 2011)

next time use milk


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## cookers (Jun 11, 2011)

Wyandotte said:


> Entertaining reading, Cookers! How can you put a fire out so quick and then keep on cooking right away? I should think that it would take hours to clean up the mess if you use the fire extinguisher.


Water. A whole lot of it! lol. I had to throw away 2 other sauces and start over.


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## sparkie (Feb 12, 2011)

A while back, I made some chicken broth at home. I had just bought a new stock pot so that I could make 3 gallons & freeze it in 1 quart containers. After the broth was finished, I fished out the chickens to save the meat, put a large large colander in the sink and proceeded to pour all of my beautiful broth down the drain!


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## siloway (Mar 24, 2011)

The very first time I cooked for my French in-laws I made a boeuf bourguignon, the recipe said leave on low heat in a "cocotte" (caserolle/stewing pot) for 3 hours. I had what the French call a "cocotte minute" which is in effect a presure cooker and thought this was what the recipe meant... result was the kitchen smelt great but we had 2 inches of burnt bourguignon and at the bottom of the presure cooker, had to soak it for 3 days to get it off...we ate roast chicken for lunch at 5 that afternoon.

I can now nail a bourguignon...live and learn /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif.


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## wyandotte (May 24, 2011)

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif I don't know what's wrong with me, why I love these tales. Maybe because I still remember the times I flooded the entire kitchen (referred to above) plus eating area, living room & another room. (Our house is like one big room, so if you flood the kitchen, you flood the whole dam thing...) Not to mention some water getting into the crawlspace. I wish the worst thing that I've done in the kitchen were burning something into 2 inches of carbon. Not making light of your calamity, tho, Siloway!


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

Crowded walk-in, bucket of stock cooling on the floor. Stepped over the bucket, leaning far to the back to grab some herbs, then stepping back out, put my foot right in the stock bucket. Tossed the stock and worked all day with a soggy (but tasty smelling) shoe.

Drained the hot fryer, cleaned and refilled with the strained oil......then noticed my foot was getting hot...forgot to close the drain. You only need to learn this lesson once.


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## inomthings (Nov 21, 2011)

Just Jim said:


> Drained the hot fryer, cleaned and refilled with the strained oil......then noticed my foot was getting hot...forgot to close the drain. You only need to learn this lesson once.


glad to hear i'm not the only one to do this... you live you learn!


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## williamalbrecht (Nov 26, 2011)

Just Jim said:


> Drained the hot fryer, cleaned and refilled with the strained oil......then noticed my foot was getting hot...forgot to close the drain. You only need to learn this lesson once.





inomthings said:


> glad to hear i'm not the only one to do this... you live you learn!


That makes three of us.

Also, let's not forget going to the walk-in.. and not remembering why you're there and having to spend the next five minutes eyeballing every shelf hoping something will jog your memory. I don't even think I can count how many times that's happened to me.


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## mimmogram (Nov 29, 2011)

I think my favourite one was when we had an insanely busy night... The restaurant was chockers as were half the rooms ordering room service...

I was flat out & reheating lamb shanks... Sent them out.. Then went to make my Sticky Date Puddings... I couldn't find the butterscotch sauce anywhere... Only the gravy... Then it dawned on me... I had put the sauce instead of the gravy in the lamb shanks... Luckily They were regulars, but they have never let me live it down!!!


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## tonyd (Sep 30, 2011)

2 of my favorite screw ups have always been leaving a stock cooking overnight and having someone forget to lower the flame, returning to a nasty burnt pot and a kitchen that stinks to hell or having the stock pot left under a table at night and returning to nicely soured stock. (best fix for that one is to clip your keys to the pot handle)


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## denis dubiard (Nov 11, 2008)

for me it is to prep up and coock some damn good stocks for reduction for a demi or a white stock for prep of soups or white cream sauce and someone pass it off through a muslim cloth get it refrigerated in a blast chiller of enormous size as those stocks were for a large amount of people. and someone who can not read and too fast to think or ask. after been asked to clean the fridge behind the blast chillers. he poured the all lot down the sink.

on another occasion I have been asked to supervise and get sorted 600 artichock waiting for me to turn (Been an art to satisfy a 3 star chef durig a sporting event) well got 3 ohers  only one could turn te finishing produce. as the 2 others were aked and shown to do some movements but not the finishing produce. we got the job donein 1 day and half only doing that. they were cooked according the speifications requiered by the master. they were all refrigerated in a blast chiller. then vacpack with its cooking liquor. and stored in th back fridge. then a twat came along nd been asked to move them up to the designated area the restaurant prep. I gave him boxes and lids that I found in that maze and ept them hidden just for that job. I went to do something else when I came back I found him pilling them up on a trolley, boxes on top of each boxes without the lids on, Mash Artichock added that the all lots fell and made the all lot even worst.

I was nearly to tears.

the master was not impress and during the event I was asked once again to turn with just one other over 300 more as well as doing other jobs that was not suppose to happen!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


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## cookers (Jun 11, 2011)

Just tonight I was seeing what new fish we got in. We usually get really large fillets and I didn't know this fish was whole. I reached down inside the bag and grabbed it and felt a really sharp pinch and cut my finger then I looked and seen a head and thought it was still alive and bit me. I didn't even know what the heck it was. It looked like a giant anaconda head and I ran out of the cooler. Turns out, it was just a king salmon lol. I'm never living this one down


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Many years ago I part timed for a Kosher Caterer in the Hotel Pierre in NY. The function was to start at 6pm. I arrived at 7 am. The hot line cooks were not in yet.

    I was doing all the Garde Manger work for him for the party. The Rabbi came in and he  was kashering all the stoves and ovens with a blow torch.

     Bingo he set off the fire alarm and the Ansil system began spraying the stuff all over the stove and my work table which had about 6 huge fruit display platters on it. When you do volume you make them all at once assembly line style. Needless to say the fire dept showed up and my fruit platters were trashed . Put me behind about 2 hours. I wanted to kill the guy, but we made it on time for the party.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

William  !    

At your age, this should not happen.! Keep pad in your pocket if you have to write it down.


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## denis dubiard (Nov 11, 2008)

how cruel and dum ktchen momments. once in a brigade in a casino to welcome student one particular some chef de partie askd a student commis on stage (training!) to clean and wash up some spinash! the student desapeared for 2 minutes whiles the spinash was soaking for 1st wash!

whiles I was doing my sauces and looking after my stock. I looked on the cornner of my eyes and saw the chef de partie placing something under the soaking spinash.!

and the student came back and it moved the spinash within the water and started to take it out of the water to drain!.

hoops the sucker of chef de partie placed a live lobster under.

! Scream in the kitchen!.

cruel!. ?

well that chef de partie did taste of own cruelty aftr few month later.

after an even which happen in the kitchen. I told each one of the guys who created an evnt that was not on! I told them I will get each one of you one by one included the chef de partie from that lobster session!.



well I was doing the bearnaise, holandaise beurre blanc sauces etc. on the section of the chef de partie in question he kept the hollandaise close by him for the Asparagus in particular.

what I have done well!

I reduced that chap during a busy service to total shred!.

the hollandaise incredebly splited! well I replaced it with a turned old beurre blanc! and told him off for him to have turned the bain marie to high nd splited the dam stuff!

and asked him that is your fault get it back!.

I toild him at the same time all the various way to get an Hollandaise sauce back from the dead very quickly in front of everyone!.

he tried and tried!



with the beurre blanc turn!.

and I asked give it to me I'll show you during the service!. he has been told after service that I had made him sweat by everyone who witness!

they were all thinking in silence! the B......r!

and here something I have done earlier!.

must say that the event previously was as such event that I have burnt my forarm with boiling water even if I have told them never try to do tricks on me!


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## seabeecook (Aug 23, 2008)

Mine was as a cook on the USS _Robison_ in late '78. I was finishing cleaning the deepfat fryer when the supply officer walked in the galley. The coils were hinged, so I lifted them out of the fryer to clean inside. When the heating element caught fire while it was in the air, I ran off to locate the fire extinguisher as any trained sailor would do. I returned to find the supply officer blowing the fire out! Apparently I forgot to turn the fryer off!.


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## jaredstone (Dec 18, 2011)

WilliamAlbrecht said:


> That makes three of us.
> 
> Also, let's not forget going to the walk-in.. and not remembering why you're there and having to spend the next five minutes eyeballing every shelf hoping something will jog your memory. I don't even think I can count how many times that's happened to me.


Been there more than once haha, especially at the end of a really long service


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## chef oliver (Dec 28, 2011)

Just Jim said:


> Drained the hot fryer, cleaned and refilled with the strained oil......then noticed my foot was getting hot...forgot to close the drain. You only need to learn this lesson once.


This happened to me, but "fortunately" just with boiling water..however my foot was in deep pain for whole rest of that day...


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

WilliamAlbrecht said:


> Also, let's not forget going to the walk-in.. and not remembering why you're there and having to spend the next five minutes eyeballing every shelf hoping something will jog your memory. I don't even think I can count how many times that's happened to me.


Me too, and don't forget those times that after you've eyeballed the entire contents of the walk-in you still can't remember what it was you went in there for, so you go back to the line empty-handed, only to have a eureka moment just when the next bill comes off the printer!


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## jaredstone (Dec 18, 2011)

Or the dumbest kitchen moment off them all, when your cutting up vegetables, maybe not paying as much attention as you should, and you slice off half the last digit of your pointer finger.  Needles to say its been a long and somewhat embarrasing day...happy new year haha.


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## dardeau (Jan 8, 2012)

A few weeks ago I had two similar pots on the range first thing in the morning, one with four gallons of milk for grits, and the other with lardons and onions etc for braising greens.  I dumped about a quart of cider vin meant for the greens into the milk, creating an instant curdled pot of churm.  I realized what I was doing as my wrist cocked to the point of no return and apparently made one of the funnier noises the fry guy had ever heard.  The best part:  that was the last milk in the walk in and milk delivery was still an hour out.  I still feel like a total moron.


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## curtispnw (Feb 16, 2012)

I have many of these stories,and also love to hear them, but this is my fav, and didnt even happen to me, was told to me by someone I worked with, It goes like this, At this long lived restaurant with an open kitchen and counter with chairs, they made steak tartar, when ever they got an order for one the cook who was making it yelled out I need a fastball and someone at the other end of the line would pick up a whole onion and throw it down the line, one evening when the counter was full of customers, the onion was thrown extra fast and the cook missed it. Too bad the dishwasher standing behind him got hit right in the head, knocked him out cold,


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## searingxheretic (Feb 17, 2012)

The dumbest thing I've ever done:

While making a huge amount of a bourbon cream sauce for a banquet, I was pouring the bourbon from a 1.5 Liter handle into a rondeau.  I wasn't paying attention and the alcohol lit up, followed the bourbon back up to the bottle and literally blew the bottle out of my hand.  Then bottle hit the wall like a rocket on the other side of the kitchen.  Thankfully it was a plastic bottle and not a molotov cocktail.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Preparing a party of 150 on the wrong day

    .I recieved my menus every 2 weeks and put them on a board in date order . it was October . Daily menues  from the 16th thru 31  of the month posted . On the 21 started to make all the things required for that days function.. Finally noticed that a November 21 menu was mixed in by the office staff  into October menues . My fault I should have looked closer. Had to start all over again .It never happened before and never did again. From that day on I insisted on a beginning of week function list so I could tie all menues and dates  together.


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## journeyman81 (Jun 16, 2011)

busy saturday night, short handed, early start you know the deal...out of nowhere a high temp water bursts behing the washing machine. tickets start piling up part of my shoes are covered in water and its starts rushing into the dining room...our plumbing is mickey moused together so the shut off valve was naturally behind the machine just out of reach with 180 degree water pouring like the snake river after the ice melts...in the middle of the chaos  run between saute and the leak to help...tickets piling and i decide to re fill the water i use to drop my pasta a meager six inch half pan...i leave the line to check on the chaos and forget the half pan....i come back and even more water is gushing out from under my burners...bad ending but nobody noticed i did that because the rest of the kitchen had already been flooded...it has remained a secret until just now!


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## chef1962 (Feb 28, 2012)

that is because you where going to the walk in with your idea and then chef told you his idea and you forgot what you where doing ha ha


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

I wish that were the case chef1962 but sadly most of the time I get the sometimers kicking in and I draw a complete blank as to why I'm in there in the first place.   It's not so bad now that I don't work in a restaurant but still every now and then I stand there looking clueless and the exec chef always seems to see me at that time and asks me what's up.

I had a dumb moment yesterday... exec chef needed me to come with him to verify what I had set up to ship and I walked straight into some pots that were hanging from the pot rack...  Sorry for my luck he heard the noise and of course jumped at the chance to make fun of me!  I have a bruise where the one pot handle hit but I'm hoping tomorrow I can hide it with a hair net seam or my bangs...


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## chef1962 (Feb 28, 2012)

I'll  tell you good one.One time when i was young i called in sick (HUNG- OVER) on a carving station, so chef, I guess,  had to stay that night and carve.Next morning I came in as scheduled. Now i know the Exec. Chef does not pick up steamship rounds.He has stewards and a kitchen crew to do that.So chef calls me into the walk-in to help him with one.Well i open the purchasing walk-in door and the purchasing agent, the F&B,Banquet Chef,Sous Chef and the G.M. are in the middle of the walk-in,I get a knee in my back and get friendly beaten to the floor about how you never leave the chef to carve.Grown men in the kitchen ha ha.


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## itswhoiam (Feb 29, 2012)

In my kitchen solo, my phone vibrates on my hip, I grab it with slippery hands, it slips out of my hand, cartoon style, bounces off the flat top and lands...you guessed it...in the fryer, as soon as I drain the fryer to get it out, I get a rush of tickets. Now I'm trying to fish my now melted cell phone out of the bottom of the fryer (why, of course it wedged under the  heating element!) and trying to load about 10 orders into one fryer while the other reheats...never lived that one down.


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## leeniek (Aug 21, 2009)

ItsWhoIAM said:


> In my kitchen solo, my phone vibrates on my hip, I grab it with slippery hands, it slips out of my hand, cartoon style, bounces off the flat top and lands...you guessed it...in the fryer, as soon as I drain the fryer to get it out, I get a rush of tickets. Now I'm trying to fish my now melted cell phone out of the bottom of the fryer (why, of course it wedged under the heating element!) and trying to load about 10 orders into one fryer while the other reheats...never lived that one down.


Thanks for the laugh! After my day today I really needed a good chuckle!

No dumb story attached to my day, just one of those days!


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## itswhoiam (Feb 29, 2012)

leeniek said:


> Thanks for the laugh! After my day today I really needed a good chuckle!
> 
> No dumb story attached to my day, just one of those days!


Glad you got a chuckle...to be honest when it happened I got a pretty good laugh out of it as well...but the best part was the look on the face of the poor Sprint girl when I pulled a baggie with a melted phone in it from my pocket!


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## rawredonion (Mar 13, 2012)

Cleaning a fryer at a country club cafe, the only tool I had to use was a non-perferated, flat spatula. As I am slowly cleaning the bits and pieces of crap out of the dark brown abbys, A co-worker I was working the line with decides it would be a great time to be a prankster and sneak up behind me and grab my shoulders and scream at the same time. I had the spatula submerged in the oil and jumped when his hands hit me and I flung grease over my right arm. the fryer was off, but not completely cooled, not even close. The grease burn was 14" long, no claim. My bad  Noobie mistakes.


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