# The Best of The Worst



## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

The 101 Ways to Have a Miserable Dining Experience 
by the contributors of ChefTalk.com


1. Be sure to 'auction off' food. Who gets the prime rib? And the salmon? Who ordered the salmon?

2. "Do you need change?" assuming that _ALL_ that money is for my wonderful service.

...who's got #3... 4... 5...


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## live_to_cook (Aug 23, 2000)

3. "Are you done with that?" (Or would you like to continue clogging up one of the tables I'm trying so desperately to turn, like the cretinous insect you so clearly are?)

4. "Hi, my name is LikeICouldPossiblyCare, and I'm going to be your server tonight." (Just in case you wondered why I'm standing here handing you menus.)


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

5. Always treat your guests based upon your perception of how rich and/or important they are. Only the worthy ones should get good service and you're the judge!


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## robinchev (Jan 13, 2006)

6. Be sure to turn your back on me and hit on my partner...

7.Ensure I will empathize with your lousy day by telling me _in lengthy detail_ how sick you feel, how badly the kitchen is doing, how shortstaffed you are because management s***s,etc etc etc...


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

8. "Are you still working on that?" As if eating the food in that place should be a tedious experience....

9. Leaning your arms on the table and finding stickiness.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

True story... from an hour ago!

10. "I'll be right with you... I have to finish sending this text message to my boyfriend."


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

11. After dining for about an hour and a half and spent over $200 in food and wine. "Excuse me would mind leaving we have a lot of people waiting for tables."


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

12- shoes, you must look at there shoes! I've known waiters who
judge the amount of service given purely upon whats on their guests
feet.


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## chef_bob (Jan 13, 2005)

13 - Enusre guest wait at least 20 minutes for their bill after having asked for it!


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

14- When the bill total is always given with tax included, so you end up tipping based on the total PLUS tax.  

I'm never hestant to tip well (I waited tables in another life), but I resent being expected to tip that way.


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## robinchev (Jan 13, 2006)

13a) Ensure an additional wait of at least the same 20 minutes before returning with my credit card, change...


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

15 - Be sure to wait until your patrons' tongues are swollen and parched before coming into view and asking if they would like their water/drinks refilled.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

16. "Hi, what can I get for _YOUS_?"


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## henry (Jun 12, 2001)

17. Being seated near screaming babies and parents who allow their children to scream, throw tantrums and play/drop/throw silverware/food.


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

18. Make sure your server waits at least 20 minutes after ordering before informing you that they are out of your entree.


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

19. When ordering for vegetarians/ vegans, make sure that the server understands that chicken stock/ beef stock is not "meat", per se...., in fact knowing little or nothing about the menu or food isn't as important as having "a nice personality". And everybody knows that the best waitstaff crouch down right in your face for a more "personal" approach. And if the waitstaff REALLY like you, they may sit down!!!


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

20. You're kidding! You don't really want to order that do you? Oh well....it's your money...whatever.....


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## pete (Oct 7, 2001)

21. "Yeah...my ride is here, so if you don't mind paying your bill....."


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## cacook (Jan 18, 2006)

22. Ensuring that no matter how many times you send your steak back...it willnever be cooked right. (An hour ago)


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## markv (May 16, 2003)

23. When wine lists don't include the vintages.  

Mark


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

24) The chef says that's the way it is. (if you don't like it, tough)


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

25. Note to floor manager: Reprimand staff only in front of customers. Same goes in the kitchen: If the chef is screaming, obviously its not his fault.
26. Note to kitchen staff: enter dining room only with filthy jacket and/or apron. It makes the guests think you work SO HARD you don't have time to mess around with trivials, like appearance...


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

27. Don't wash your hands when leaving the bathroom.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

28. After receving terrible service and paying the bill the server did not bring back the change.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

29. "I don't know... I have never tasted that. It sounds kinda weird...":crazy:


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

30. Don't forget to bring your cellphone!


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

31. Never do anything special for your regular guests. Heck, they're just getting in the way of the new people who deserve to try out your food, too.


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## cakerookie (Sep 10, 2005)

32. A waitress that comes back every minute to see if you need anything and refill an already full cup a joe.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

33
Oh! There's our server. He or She might be heading this way? Yea, they're coming.
Boy, must have an itchy nose. 
Should probably get to the barber, that Elvis swish is bound to get their hand dirty. 
Oh, That is sooo cool !the way he shoves his order pad down the back of his pants. OMGosh, did you catch the switch, he took our order and shoved it down the front when leaving


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## andrew563 (Oct 12, 2005)

34. I am going to apologize before I even seat you.

That one happened to me, and yes she did need to apologize.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

35. Here are some extra _grounds _ in your coffee, just in case you need a little extra 'texture' to wash it down! Nothing like being able to chew your brew!


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## deltadoc (Aug 15, 2004)

36. But we have to pay state tax on the value of the meal, not the price you pay.

37. I'll have to ask the chef first before I can return your steak.

38. I went to the trouble to remove the charge for that dessert that you didn't order.

39. I'm sorry that I dripped the shrimp cocktail ice water into your salad.

40. It's so nice to see you back. Would you like the same table again sir? (The "table" being the one by the aisle to the bathroom, and right next to the server's pickup window)

41. Being given the second worse seat in the house under the air conditioner when answering no to #40 above, and being told "Now this is a better table!"

42. I know you were in yesterday, that I checked your ID and you're 56, but we have to check the ID of every customer who orders wine.

43. I'm sorry I didn't bring you any silverware and your appetizer is cold now, but you still have to pay for it.

44. I'm sorry sir that I still didn't bring you any silverware for your entree, but you still have to pay for it.

45. I'm sorry I spilled wine on your leather jacket. Please give me your napkin and let me dip it into your ice water and I'll rub the spot on your jacket.

46. The chef wants to know if it's ok to butterfly your steak? You did too order it medium well! (even though 6 people at the table heard me say medium rare).

47. I'm sorry there's a piece of dried food on your fork, but it does get sterilized going through the dishwasher.

48. Why can't you use your fork that you ate your steak with for your dessert?

49. The chef says your shrimp cocktail is perfect.

50. It's not our fault there was a piece of bone shaving in your vegetable soup. You should eat more carefully!

doc


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Yeah, for some reason that silverware thing bugs me. Is it too much to take the salad fork and bring a new one with an entree?


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

51. Don't forget to bring one unappropriate guest. Nothing balances out a fine meal more the the enlightened counterpoint opinion of someone who is uncomfortable dining on "boughten" food. Or my teenage son who would rather be home with a pizza and GameBoy than having to be stuck with grownups and eating whatever..... Or perhaps inviting a "table manners" freak, or a pseudo-winesnob, or a wannbe food critic. Or a newby cooking school grad who wants to anylyze everything. Fun, fun, fun.


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## someday (Aug 15, 2003)

I want to say that as a former server for 6 years, a lot of this thread offends me. 

Yeah, I'll admit, a TONS of servers are idiots (I was blessed for the last 2 years to work in a really great place with a great service staff), but for every idiot server there are 10 idiot guests. 

You guys have to understand that a LOT goes into waiting tables at some places. Fact of eating out: Sometimes silver ware on the table will be dirty. There are THOUSANDS of f-n forks in the house...not all of them can be combed over every day. It's gonna happen. Sorry it happened to you. 

Jim--having the food auctioned off RUINS the meal for you? Really? I'm sorry, but I considered myself a d a m n good server, but sometimes I had 6 things to do and forgot which seat number the salmon or whatever went to at a 5 top. If I just guessed, and gave YOU the prime rib instead of the salmon, then you'd be in here complaining that the stupid server set down the prime rib in front of you instead of the salmon (why didn't he just ask?) 

And sometimes coffee filters break and coffee grinds get in the coffee. Next time I'll take a sip of your coffee first to make sure that it's ok before I serve it to you. I have a hard time believing this could ruin a meal for you. Just wait 3 mins for a new pot of coffee...and at least now you know it's fresh. 

I used to be really good about marking the table with silver as well. But guess what? Sometimes I forgot. Maybe I didn't have time because your table came up fast and I had to go re-seat my other table cause they were under the AC vent (it's a restaurant bring a f-n jacket, just like to the movie theater for crying out loud). 

DeltaDoc--at least a place made an effort to remember you and give you the same table. Some people really like tables right next to the "action." Some poeple don't. The comp says you sat there last time--are they mind readers? Just politely decline. An AC vent? You gotta be kidding me. OH, you have RUINED my dining experience by moving me from the table I didn't want originally to another table I don't want! Whats the place supposed to do? NOT have AC? Then they'd ruin your dining experience because the dining room is too hot...

Checking your ID? Do you know what the penalties are for serving an underage drinker? Thousands of dollars in fines and the restaurant will probably lose their liquor liscense and go out of business. And where I live, EVERY LAST PERSON has to show there ID because of the weird liquor laws--and then they have to sign a piece of paper. Thats every person. 25 yrs old to 100 yrs old. And sorry for the 10 second inconvenience of reaching into your wallet--hope I didn't ruin your day. Maybe your cursed with looking young, I don't know, but I would ALWAYS err on the side of caution. 

Sorry you got wine spilled on your jacket (really, that sucks). But again, if you wait tables long enough, deliver enough glasses of wine, you WILL spill something on someone at some point (if you eat out a lot, same thing). What should the server do then? You tell me so that I know how to handle it. Instead of at least trying to clean the mess up, I'll go get some "soda water" and a pile of napkins and let you do it. Or just stand there and do nothing. 

Some of the stuff is not good and shouldn't happen. Some of the stuff you guys posted is absolutely unaccpetable and should never happen. 

I'm gonna guess that the server wanted you to leave. I'm not sure, and I'm not trying to jump to conclusions, but maybe you were there for a while, or after close, and that was the "polite" way the server was asking you to GTFO. 

A lot of people, for whatever reason, feel entitled to sit at there table for a LOOOOONG time. (not talking about you, Cakerookie) We call them "campers." I never minded when people stayed a few extra minutes...but hey, longer than 30 (or way after close) is just plain rude. Remember this--we depend on tips for our income. The reality is, when you camp at our tables for a long time, you are taking our money. Or at least potential money. It's no fun, from our perspective, when a deuce sits for 3 hours after leaving you a 8 dollar tip. Potentially, I could have made another 20 dollars (or more) from that table. 

Rant over.


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Someday, I'm sorry if you feel offended. I have worked both in the kitchen and waiting tables, so I have a sense of reality for both jobs.

You properly note that there are two sides of every situation. Still, some of what's mentioned here just shouldn't be encountered by diners.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Someday.... you need a good dose of perspective! Yes, auctioning off food is terrible customer service! It shows a lack of attention to detail and novice service. I don't expect a car mechanic to 'guess' which item needs to be fixed nor do I expect a plumber to randomly install pipes, not knowing his/her job!

As for the coffee... you don't need to take a sip of my coffee. You need to pay attention. That's the job... it's called attention to DETAILS! Do the job!

Lastly, nobody said there aren't idiot customers... idiot cooks... idiot owners. As a matter of fact, NOBODY said waitstaff were idiots. We were merely discussing issues that ruin a (money paying) dining experience. If that offends you, then... well, don't read it. Perhaps, some folks after reading this, will re-think their approach to customer service... and actually learn something. This isn't an ego-massaging session.


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## deltadoc (Aug 15, 2004)

Uh....kind ex-server, the air conditioner was a window unit that was so low that there was no head room to sit under except that my wife is only 5' tall, and her head just barely missed touching the big jutting out air conditioner.

doc


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

51. "Fresh...." We want to make everybody certain that our food is _fresh_, as opposed to rancid, old or moldy. Chicken Cutlets sauteed with _fresh _mushrooms. _Fresh _Atlantic Salmon! Really? Perhaps the 2-week old stuff in the back of the cooler might be better?


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## robinchev (Jan 13, 2006)

:lol: OMG!!! Thank you sooooooo much!!! After a **** week on the job (yah, we all have'em) I laughed until I was crying!
Bravo!


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## cheech (Feb 17, 2003)

52. Yes, please sit in the empty seat at my table to take my order.


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

53. "Are *we *ready to order?" and other instances of the server including him/herself as part of the dining party.


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

I did not want to ever respond to someday for she was from my new home state. Am I just old? When I waited tables, we took an order with the hands of a clock in mind. women 1,3,5,oclock men 2.4.6etc. No? I have to believe this was the first thing I learned.
Never mind a broken coffee filter. If my tables ordered coffee to end their meal, I made sure is was hot and fresh.
This is long and probably not worth it but true! 
Went out last night, not a bad fish place. Nice, quiet. Back waiter welcomes us, 6 top, pours water, offers lemon from a little silver thing, helps with napkins, takes our drink orders. I'm happy now for this was my suggestion since they had requested my dessert line to look at next week.
We took some friends. our waiter shows up, very clean cut(looked like an olympic swimmer) He starts his greating, I'm looking down at the menu, he has the hardest time trying to speak. I'm thinking to myself," oh man, he has a problem and that's why he's not on TV or a doctor or something. I'm gonna take care of this guy tonight"
I look up and this guy is trying to talk to us with this large silver ball attached to his tongue. Needless to say I was cool, but when it came around to me to order I said I would have loved one of the chefs specials but I did not understand a single word you said. After Sophie kicked me, he smiled and said something like ,this is new.


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## blueschef (Jan 18, 2006)

Panini!
Excouse Mwe The Swamon is Berry Gwood Wif Thwe Oserse Wadish Cwust!
:talk::talk::talk::talk::bounce::smiles::smiles:

Your story cracked me up!

LOL


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

BC I started this page from the bottom and read your post first which of course made no sense. As I worked my way from the top down to find out why Pan was making a comment about Someday, I finally finished Pans post and understood what you were trying to say! Not what you said, it was unintelligible! Too, too funny :lol:  
"Someday" with all due respect, perhaps your post is an indication to why you call yourself a "former" server. Seriously, way too serious, you are taking things said in this thread wayyy too personally, unless they all happened to you in which case maybe that line of work wasn't for you. Remember I'm not jumping on you here, just making an observation of an overly sensitive sounding post.


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## diane (Mar 24, 2006)

The waiter/server is essential to a good experience dining. It's quite simple really. I have only waited tables briefly in my life, but I think the maxim should be "never let another dictate your behaviour". Don't forget either that it is often hard to hear specials in a busy restaurant, abusive music makes it worse. And people are deaf quite often. I always have to rely on companions to tell me what they were. It doesn't take a large silver ball to be inaudible, or incomprehensible. Deafness is still considered a old woman joke, but blindness people understand. I don't care if the waiter is a little clumsy, serves from the wrong side, as long as it is kindly, good hearted service. Recently we had a waitress arrive with two bottles of wine, I wanted a glass of red, my companion wanted white. Both opened bottles were clutched to her ample breast. She was smiling like she had a light inside, quite certain she had found the best thing on earth for us. I would have been a whole lot easier for her had she served them in the classical manner. But the shear enjoyment of her happy personality, it spite of her juggling, and maybe even because of it, quite made our evening.


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## greasechef (May 20, 2006)

53. Ask your server a million questions about items you will likely not order.

True story, I was waiting tables and got 10 deuces at once. Not in 5 minutes, but 30 seconds... 

The first table I went to, two ladies, kept me standing there for what felt like forever while everyone else waited. (I just wanted to get drinks for my tables first.)

Long and short is that I said, "Don't be mean to your waiter until you know the service is bad." Then I walked away and got 9 tables worth of drink orders in no time.

Those two actually left a pretty good tip. I think that they didn't see the 18 people walking in right behind them and into my section.

On a side note to Someday, auctioning food is NEVER acceptable, even at a diner. Have a method when you write your tickets. Number seats on your pad, circle the ladies, and underline the head of the table. When you get your food in the kitchen, grab the circled food first (oldest to youngest), and make sure that the plates are in order BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE KITCHEN!!!

You say, "Your Duck, Madam."
Not, "This looks like a duck or something, anyone???"

I once had a fun table of about 15 ladies. One had been a waitress in the past and could see how I was making notes with the orders. "I am number seven!" she exclaimed, "Am I right?"

After that, they all wanted to a) guess their number, and b) refer to each other by number and have me do the same. "Your Delmonico Mid-rare, number eleven."

As for campers, it happens, and many WILL pay rent on the table if you do not rush them.


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## greasechef (May 20, 2006)

54. FOH - Complain about what a bone-head the table that just left was. Do it loud enough for the dining room to hear.
55. FOH - Be very vocal about getting stiffed on a tip, tell every one of your tables.
56. BOH - If meat is going bad, rinse it with bleach water. (Worked one day in a place that did this.)
57. FOH - Forget to give the kitchen your order... Oooops, you don't have table 43!!! Yikes!!!


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## someday (Aug 15, 2003)

I disagree. If I go to the French Laundry, then yeah, I would be jarred if they auctioned food off. If I go to a Waffle House or a IHOP, then no, I don't give a s***. 

And I wasn't trying to imply that it was a common occurence, but yeah, sometimes stuff happens. I don't need a lesson on order taking. In a lot of places I've worked, EVERYONE is expected to run food, not just the server whose table it is. Sometimes it is a matter of not punching it in right, or whatever. Sometimes seat 1 is tricky, and maybe the server didn't communicate it effectively before the food went out. Who knows? Are they to blame? Of course. But hey, people make mistakes. Never having to do it should be your goal, but I can guarantee that in 99.9% of places it has happened. Personally, I can say that it happened maybe 4-5 times in 2 years. 

I just feel bad that having this happen would ruin an otherwise perfect evening. How can you POSSIBLY enjoy yourself going out to eat if EVERY LITTLE THING drives you nuts, or "ruins your dining experience."

I dunno, maybe I'm just not as uptight as some of you. I mean, yeah, if it is a case of all of the above (bad coffee, bad table, bad food, food auctioned, no silver, etc) all in one evening, then yeah, that sucks. If it is an otherwise great evening, and there are a few grinds in my coffee at the end, then it is not going to ruin it for me. I'll politely ask for another cup from a fresh pot. End of story. If I sit in a nice place, the table is great, the wine is great, the apps were great, server is friendly, profesional, spot on, etc, and then someone (the server, whoever) comes to the table and says, "I'm really sorry, I forgot, who had the lamb?" And it's really great lamb, perfectly cooked, beautiful, delicious, then no, that won't ruin anything for me. I won't even dock for the tip. 

I'm not even disagreeing that it shouldn't happen, just saying that sometimes people make mistakes. 

I mean, seriously, how can some of you eat out? How do you enjoy it if it isn't 100%, absolutely perfect? Or do you just go out to five star places where 8 people wait on 1 table and none of this ever happens?

If anyone tells me that they have NEVER made a mistake while on the job I will call that person a liar to their face. 

So you're telling me that the restaurant only sat people under 5' at that table? It is reserved for short people only? I find that hard to believe. 

Like said, at least the place made an effort. The computer probably told them where you sat last time, so they asked. No big deal. If it worked the OTHER way, as in you were happy with the table last time, and they remembered, you would probably think that was a great touch. 

Look, I know how I'm coming off in these posts, but seriously...I really hope some of you guys aren't so jaded and stuck up that small things like that ruin it for you. I don't even know why these things aggravate me so much, maybe I'm just seeing in the future when I'm like that and I don't like it. I hope I never get to the point where I can't enjoy going out, even if small things go wrong once in a while.


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## someday (Aug 15, 2003)

I got a good story though...

Was on a family vacation YEARS ago, road trip out west to NewMex, Arizona, Las Vegas, Wyoming, Colorado, etc...stopped in Carlsbad, I think, stayed the night, went to a busy greasy spoon for breakfast.

I ordered the buffet, the rest of my family orders entrees from the menu. So I go make a plate, sit down, begin to eat. A little while later the waitress comes by, apologizing for the delay in the food, telling us how she hurt herself and fell behind. Starts passing the food out (I'm sitting on the outside seat of a booth, across from my sister, next to my dad), and when she reaches across from me, a HUGE, WET, dripping blood clot is hanging from a huge gash just above her elbow (I'm talking a good 5 inches, no kidding), wiggling around right in front of my face, splashing blood in my eggs and biscuits and gravy, on my arm, on my face, etc. I sit there in horrow, my family beginning to realize what is happening, and then she notices, takes the napkin from my place, and collects the clot in it and wipes her arm. 

THAT, my friends, is how you have a miserable dining experience. 

So maybe all the other things like coffee grounds, bad tables, auctioning food, just don't seem so bad to me after that. In fact, if that DOESN'T happen, I'm a happy camper. 

We got comped BTW....


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Last week, we took some friends out to a popular restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket, then I looked around the room and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

 "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare spoon. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

 I was rather impressed. I noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

 "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

 "How so?"

 "See," he continued," by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

 "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

 "Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."


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## greasechef (May 20, 2006)

That is priceless! LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## andrew563 (Oct 12, 2005)

Someday,

That story was absolutely bizarre. That does give perspective. I thought it was bad when the server dripped sweat on me.


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)




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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

#I lost count..

When you explain to the server in a restaurant where the entrees start at around $20 that the caramelized onions on the steak taste burnt and he leaves the table to get a saucer and asks you to scrape them off. Server then returns and tells you that that they must all be burnt, so do you want these back or is the steak alright the way it is? You then are left with a steak with the burnt residue clinging. Yum.

And I agree. I can't stand the food auctioning, either.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

I think we are up to #60, counting that REALLY gross story!


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

62. Server states that the reason our food is taking so long is that the kitchen staff is really not very good and that we should excuse things. This is to distract us from the fact that we have been unable to get a refill of any type and that the fact our food is taking so long is not a reflectiuon on the kitchen but in the servers complete lack of competence.

63. The only reason the guests are here is for me. I want their money and I'm going to do as little as possible to get it. Then if they don't tip me what I think I'm worth, I complain to my fellow servers or worse chase them out the restaurant and som I can loose my job in the process justifying it by stating I hated the job anyway since I never could make money. Then after being terminated I scream at the top of my lungs the marital status of the managers parents and the orientation of the entire comanies managment structure. BTW I was the one who had to terminate the server on the spot and I alays though my folks were married.

There was the time I ordered a Hamburger from a National Casual themed Chain(LHSH). This happened while we were on a Secret Shopper visit that my wife signed us up for. Ordered Burger MR without cheese and with rice instead of fries. First burger shows up and has not only cheese but bacon and muchrooms on it and fries. No problem I'll just send it back. Server arrives at the table and asks how everthing is. I state that I ordered the burger it was probably just a mixup and could I please get the burger I ordered. The sever than asked if I would just eat the hamburger the way it is. I explained that is not what I wanted. Burger arrived 1 minute later still dripping wet from being rinsed off, the bun was soaked and had residual cheese and the LTO was smashed and shredded. The rice was pretty good tho. Couldn't even get a Mgr to the table. Wow.:beer: :beer: :crazy: 

BTW and even tho I'm new here I'm still an old hand by relative standards so... There are alot of folks out there that shouldn't play with knives because their skin is so thin. :suprise:


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## jennykhughes (Jun 19, 2006)

#64 - Serving all diners except one. 
Everything gets cold while you are waiting for the last dinner to come to the table.

#65 - Also, I don't usually go to dinner expecting to make lifelong friends with the waitstaff. Don't sit at my table when you're taking my order. Not cool.


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## nentony (May 7, 2005)

Quote:
"Don't sit at my table when you're taking my order. Not cool."

Jeez I hate that. It's so wierd it's actually funny. I'm trying to convince my wife and kids that we should stand when we place our order.  

Tony


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

That's perfect, Tony! I'm trying to convince my husband to call servers pet names to see if it works both ways. So far, he's not convinced. How about you and I go out to eat? I'll stand to order and you make up really cute names to call the servers. We'll see how long it takes the manager to come over to tell us to stop harrassing the help.


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## diane (Mar 24, 2006)

LOL, thats funny. Honey.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Thanks, my darling....


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## benrias (May 2, 2003)

66. Seeing your server off in the corner literally playing touchy feely with another server while you are waiting for your meal/drinks/check/etc.

67. Seeing another server playing touchy feely with your server and THUS you are not getting your meanl/drinks/check/ etc.

68. Ordering a nice chianti and when you take that first sip after a long hard week, you almost burn your tongue because it is actually hot.

69. Waiting for 10 minutes to have your server take your wine back because she is playing touchy feely with another server.

70. When she finally comes to your table and you explain that your wine is WAY above room temperature, having her tell you "Oh yes....the kitchen is hot."

71. Ordering a delicious sounding dessert to celebrate the end of the long week and not receiving it because your server is playing touchy feely with that same server.

72. Seeing that look of shock when your server is told by the BOH that they are out of that dessert.

73. Having the server NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER when she tries to offer you a free dessert.

74. Waiting for the server to take off the non-existent dessert because she is ****ing STILL PLAYING TOUCHY FEELY WITH THAT SAME ***hole server. 

75. tasting the free dessert and finding it is room temperature and had been sitting out.

76. Serving everyone at your table their meals except yours AND NO ONE TELLS YOU that they ran out of the entree you ordered--and your only clue that something is wrong is when someone who is not your server walks by and cryptically asks you "So you're going to be OK then?"

77. And one I know we ALL HATE....SEEING EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TABLE THAT CAME IN AFTER YOU GET THEIR FOOD BEFORE YOU BECAUSE YOUR **** SERVER WAS PLAYING TOUCHY FEELY THE WHOLE NIGHT!!!

(yes....true story from a single dining experience except #76 that occurred in another restaurant.)


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## bjh65 (Sep 25, 2006)

I cannot explain exactly how much this burns me up. Really. This is annoying as ****. It is the one thing that will make me lip off to waitstaff. I do not like this done to me at all.


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## mikelm (Dec 23, 2000)

C'mon Jim-

Be a little tolerant of local locutions. You're not that far from the York-Harrisburg area, where YOUSE is the accepted plural form of address.  

Just be glad you're not in Texas, where "Y'all" is the singular and "All Y'all" is the plural.

Mike :smoking:


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## bluedogz (Oct 11, 2006)

Wow- a lot of these never occurred to me... youse all are brutal!  

Never even gave it any thought till we ate at the local location of a particular celebrity chef (who shall remain nameless.) Our server crew (yes, a crew- we were introduced to each by the lead server, leaving us wondering when servers got ranked like soldiers) was like a squad of marines. All four apps hit the table at exactly the same time (not "they were served together", but each plate hit the table from a different server's hand at precisely the same time; same for the entrees.

I haven't been a server since high school at an ice cream joint, but now I compare even the Denny's server to this (probably a***-retentive) synchronized-serving crew.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Synchronized Service. Great....:crazy:


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## free rider (May 23, 2006)

Bluedog, I had a similar experience... synchronized service like yours but with silver covers on the dishes. After the plates hitting the table, a dramatic moment of silence and then hands in white gloves lifting all the silver covers at the same time. I about fell over. 

I've also been too terrified to ever enter a country club like that one again. :talk: :talk: :talk:


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## rob p. (Jan 1, 2007)

#78 Having the wait staff bring out the menu to prove to the diner that it says "Jack" and that the cook didn't know it meant "Montterray Jack" so he put cheddar on your Montterray Omlette and that it's not his fault the omlette turned out wrong.

#79 Have the Manager unavailable when problems happen. True story: Went to a local food joint with my Bro. We both ordered with me going first. I'll have a #3 yada yada yada. My Bro orders a #6. Get the bill it's for 4 times what it should be. What the heck??? Go over the bill to find the problem. Seems the wait staff ordered enough drinks for six people. Six separate drinks when there were obviously only 2 of us at the table. Asked for the bill to be adjusted - "I can't do that" says the waitress. Ask for mgr - "He's busy right now" "We'll wait. Please tell him we'd like to see him." Waited half hour still no mgr. "He's still busy" says waitress. No comp on the ticket and we got tossed by the cops for "trespassing" after trying to see the mgr again.

#80 Have the mgr threaten a customer with bodily harm while customer is trying to eat the meal they ordered. Mgr grabs plates off the table and throws them on the floor then calls cops to have the customer thrown out because he won't pay for the meal. Thankfully this wasn't us this happened to but we did speak to the police when they arrived about the threats by the mgr and filed a written complaint with corporate. Mgr was terminated within 3 days. Don't know what happened to the customer.


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## fledgling (Jan 13, 2007)

Getting someone else's Jack and Coke in the lap, and then having to drive home with a taillight out.


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## fledgling (Jan 13, 2007)

So I'm at this little diner, nothing fancy or anything, and I order a beer. I was from Texas and was in Colorado at the time, still had my TX ID. Until you're 25 now (or at least until the id expires) you have a license that runs vertical instead of horizontal. So when the waitress asks for my id, i gave it to her. She doesn't understand, and screams across the diner, literally, "JERRY!!!! I DON'T THINK THIS IS GOOD!!!!!!!!!!" 

Everyone turns and stares at me and I was ready to kill her. But at least I got my beer.


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