# Virus alert!



## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

New Virus Warning

If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes" delete it immediately without reading it. This is the most dangerous E-mail virus yet.

It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refridgerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

It will give your ex-spouse your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.


----------



## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

I don't know whether to be terrified or bust out in laughter.


Oh well, I'll do both!!


:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


----------



## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

You're a mess! Although the Nair/Rogaine thing is rather interesting... :suprise:


----------



## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

HAHAHAHA! I must admit I was ready to believe it was a warning about that bogus "Teddy Bear virus", that gets unwitting people to delete important files in their operating systems in the false belief they're viruses. 

Instead, I had a good laugh. :lol: Thanks, Peachcreek!


----------



## bdwillms (Feb 26, 2001)

Very humerious.
Good going.:look: :look:  :bounce: :smoking:


----------



## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Thanks Peachcreek,i needed a good laugh,i`ve had a stinker of a day!! Leo.


----------



## pastachef (Nov 19, 1999)

For a while there, I thought you were talking about my husband.


----------

