# This is horrible



## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

My friend died last week. My aunt died on Saturday and my father was admitted to the hospital yesterday because he had a massive heart attack and is in a coma.        

I haven't eaten or slept in two days. I am in Las Vegas and he's in Inglewood, CA. The hospital won't tell me a d*** thing and I'm getting PO'd.


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## alexia (Mar 3, 2002)

How awful. A few years ago I was in a situation with a member of my family in which one disaster heaped upon another, so I know how helpless and overwhelmed you must feel. I hope that your father will recover. These days medicine can do remarkable things.

Regarding the hospital not cooperating in giving you information. Have you called the hospital administrator or your father's personal physician? Often the people who answer the phones when you call are not allowed to give info on the phone which would violate the patient's privacy. Or perhaps they are afraid you are not who you say you are. Perservere.


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Go to Inglewood, if your heart tells you that you need to be there. Sometimes only action can help. You have my deepest condolences on your aunt's death, and I will keep your father in my prayers.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

All the strength in the world to you. Like Mezz said, get to California. 
-Jim


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## terrarich (Feb 19, 2002)

So very sorry for you. All my best thoughts to your father. 

terrarich


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## bubbamom (Jan 30, 2002)

My sympathy on your losses. Let the good memories carry you thru. In the meanwhile ...get to Dad's bedside and establish communication with his doc's and caregivers.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

You and your family will be in mine and my wifes prayers.


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

If you worked for me, I would have put you on a plane myself if I had to. Your work won't miss you for a few days while you take care of things that really matter. Having lost both parents many years ago I cannot stress how important it is to take time with family while everybody is around. Work will always survive, always get done, and always be there when you get back.


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## kimmie (Mar 13, 2001)

Dear culinarian247,

May it help to know how many people share your sorrow and stand with you in your time of need.


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. I had snags getting to CA but I'm here nonetheless. My father is at Daniel Freeman hospital in Inglewood.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Culinarian,

So glad you made it to California; I can only echo what everyone else has said; in times like this, nothing else matters but family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Do you know if your dad had an 'advance directive' or 'living will'? It would help you in making decisions re his care, until he's able to make his own. I'm sure you're going to get hit with a lot of tough medical questions regarding his care and treatments; be sure to have the docs/nurses/technicians explain EVERYTHING to you, even if they seem to be impatient. Make sure they've explained to your satisfaction what's going on and why. 

I don't mean to knock the medical profession, but I've seen so much when my son was hurt; even seemingly unimportant matters like having your dad turned every 2 hours in his bed can go a long way toward prevention of skin breakdown and 'bed sores', one of the most common complications of anyone lying incapacitated for a long time. 

Please feel feel to email me if you have any questions re dealing with docs; please also know that I'm not talking about getting militant here (well, not unless it's really needed!), just that there are lots of options available and information to be gleaned.

Best wishes and ((((hugs)))) - Jackie


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Thank you, marm. I don't think they can slip too much past me. I am a former orderly and phlebotomist. Prior to culinary arts I was pre-med at UC Riverside. My sister is in charge of wills and trusts. She's very level-headed, especially now. I may e-mail you later and talk then. Right now I am waiting for my brothers to show up. Again, thank you all for your kind words and sentiments.


------Jeff


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Hey, Jeff, Glad to hear the situation's under control! Hope things are looking better for your dad, and that the rest of your family is coming on board. Best wishes - try not to eat too much of that wonderful hospital food!


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## eds77k5 (Jun 13, 2002)

our prayers will be with you and your family


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Just letting you all know about my dad's condition. he' son life support. The doctor says he'll be taken off on Tuesday (the 10th day). It doesn't look good at all...........


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## phoebe (Jul 3, 2002)

Dear Jeff,

I am so sorry. This is a very difficult time for you. It's really hard (I know) but try to take care of yourself: get something to eat and try to sleep. You're going to need strength. Please know that we'll all be thinking of you.


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## isa (Apr 4, 2000)

I am so sorry Jeff. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts.


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

I haven't eaten more than a candy bar and water for a few days. I don't sleep. I look like a transient. And now come Monday morning (not Tuesday anymore). i'm not going to have a father anymore.  I can't begin to tell you how pissed I am right now. I mean he is only 61. I work with people older than that. THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Jeff,i`m very sorry to hear the news about your dad.It`s things like this that put a lot of other matters in the shade.
I do know how you feel,i lost both my parents within eighteen months.To describe your present situation as unfair is an understatement,i`d say that life really SUCKS sometimes!!

Please try to look after yourself as there are people who care about you.I realise this isn`t easy by any stretch of the imagination,but YOUR health is important.Leo.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Dear Jeff,

Having been through the emotional wrestling after my son's accident (he's a quadriplegic with a spinal cord injury), and trying to figure out the workings of the universe, I've come to the conclusion that there are greater forces than we at work, and to try to make sense out of senseless events is futile, to say the least. Fair? No. But it's all part of the cycle.

Be with your dad as much as you can; I know that somewhere in his soul he knows you're there. 

And take with you the memories you have, and hold them in your heart, and pass them on to your children as his legacy. 

Peace, 

Jackie

Ascension 

And If I go,
while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
-behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will never see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
-both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.

-Colleen Corah Hitchcock


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

Jeff , our most warmest thoughts and prayers go to you in this time of pain for you and your family . 
May you find peace . Doug


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## phoebe (Jul 3, 2002)

I've been thinking about you today (Monday). We all have. This must have been a long day for you and your family. Take care of yourself, and let us know how you're doing when you feel like it.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Been thinking of you all day, Jeff.


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

You all are absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the B-E-S-T!!!
Marm, Phoebe, chefboy, Leo, Isa, eds77k5, alexia, Mezz, Jim, terrarich, bubbamom, Nicko, Peachcreek, Kimmie thank you all so very very much. And to Kat, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! I appreciated the caring words. You all are extremely special!! It's nice to know there are great people in this place.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

No thanks needed, Jeff; we're all just family in this crazy, mixed up soup bowl of a world!


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Jeff,it`s the way we are in life.We care about other people because we know there are decent people like you who care about us.
Leo.


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## isa (Apr 4, 2000)

Hang in there Jeff!

This is time of hardship for you and your family. It will not be easy to go through it, you will need all your strenght. Whenever you feel like venting or need a shoulder to lean on, or a good ear to listen to you, just come here, we'll always be there for you.



This should remind all of us to appreciate, even more, the time we have with our parents....


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Just wanted you all to know. Today at 4:10pm (Aug. 18, 2002) my dad passed away. Thank you all for your support. I truly appreciated it.


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## kimmie (Mar 13, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Culinarian.

Please accept my deepest sympathies.


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## w.debord (Mar 6, 2001)

I'm so sorry. Even though we are strangers to each other, I'd give you a big hug if I could.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Please know my thoughts are with you. I lost both my parents when I was in my late 20's; a good friend told me then, to try and remember the good times,and the things I learned from my parents, even the little things - to help the pain and sorrow, and not to dwell on the loss and empty space.


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## katbalou (Nov 21, 2001)

dear jeff,
my sympathies for your loss. hope you are doing ok.
kat


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## anneke (Jan 5, 2001)

Dear Jeff,
I just wanted to express my deepest sympathies to you and your family. Like you, I lost my father too just a few brief months ago. He was a year younger than yours. Through the anger, confusion and sorrow that you feel, please take comfort in knowing that he loved you, and knows how much you love him. Surely you must feel in your heart that he is in a better place. Take care of you now, and take the time that you need to grieve...


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Jeff,i`m very sorry to hear of your loss,please could you accept my condolences,Leo.


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## phoebe (Jul 3, 2002)

Jeff,

This must be a very difficult time for you. Even though we all haven't met, know that there are people here who care about you. Please take care of yourself. You're in our thoughts.


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## isa (Apr 4, 2000)

Accept my deepest sympathy Jeff. I am so sorry for your lost.


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

Dear Jeff, 

May I add my condolences on all your losses? Take comfort in the fact that the good memories will always stay with you, even though the hurt will never, ever go away. 

May G-d give you and your family strength.

Suzanne


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Jeff,
Have not posted to this thread b/c I'm not real good at this type of thing. My deepest sympathy. You'll be in our family prayers. Like all the rest have said, these things are not in our control so don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out. It's not fair. I've meet some of the people here and I tell you we're here for you if you should need more then words.
sorry
Jeff


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

My he rest in peace, Jeff, and my you be comforted by those around you.


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

Once again I must say how wonderful you all are and I thank you. I'm going to go forward and keep myself together. I still miss him but I know he's not completely gone. I see him everyday in the mirror. The physical resemblance is uncanny.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT IN THESE TIMES!!!!


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## mofo1 (Oct 15, 2000)

My sympathies, Jeff. I'd be lost without my old man. We don't always see eye-to-eye but I love him and he loves me. He's the best friend I will ever have. Once again, my condolences.
p.s. My old man had a stroke and fell into my arms one day about 6 years ago. I didn't lose him, but man was I scared.


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