# Taking a bollocking



## ChefAndyG (May 19, 2020)

Hey guys first post here. Just received the biggest bollocking of my life at work today consisting of being screamed at in an open kitchen, called names etc. Just wondering any tips on how to deal with that kind of treatment in a professional workplace without retaliating etc. It wasn't even a very big mistake and nothing bad came out of it in the end. I just don't understand why treatment like that is seen as normal? I get the industry has that treatment everywhere I just don't see why it is necessary.


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## halb (May 25, 2015)

ChefAndyG said:


> Just wondering any tips on how to deal with that kind of treatment in a professional workplace


Repeat after me: I will not be spoken to like that! 
Now I'll ask by who? And because you mentioned that it is normal, has it happened before to others?


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## ChefAndyG (May 19, 2020)

halb said:


> Repeat after me: I will not be spoken to like that!
> Now I'll ask by who? And because you mentioned that it is normal, has it happened before to others?


By the head chef. And yes I have seen it before. Not just where I am working now but other places too.


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## chefwriter (Oct 31, 2012)

Such behavior is very outdated, by about forty years. Unfortunately television and Gordon Ramsey have made it seem like it is still acceptable. It is not. 
If your chef is exhibiting this behavior, management should straighten him out. If they don't, can't, won't, then you should work elsewhere. If you think the chef would tolerate a private conversation, then have one and explain that you don't require such behavior to follow instructions and would appreciate being spoken to in a more professional manner. Or as I like to tell people, you yell at me, I get to yell back at you and vice versa but I don't like to work in such environments. 
Over the years I've learned that good employees simply need calm, rational instruction. Bad employees aren't listening no matter how you say it. Bad employees are gotten rid of. 
I currently work for a former Marine. Never raises his voice but you know he isn't playing.


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## Mischief (Dec 13, 2018)

If you're not getting the sort of experience that will propell your career to great heights, it's definitely not worth subjecting yourself to that. You said it's only happened once where you currently are so I'd start with a private conversation with the chef. Who knows what else is happening in his life. It's no excuse for the behavior but if it's a one time thing, perhaps you would want to stay. Good luck to you.


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

That behavior is learned. That behavior can be unlearned.

I believe in the golden rule, so when I am treated in a manner that doesn't sit well with me, I feel it is only fair to bring it to the attention of the other person in a quiet one on one moment when it is convenient for both of us. If in the future I see no efforts being made to unlearn the behavior and I find the behavior to be impacting my performance and attitude, I will have another one on one with the other person.

During that one on one i will inform the other person of my intentions which include a predetermined timeline that I have set for monitoring progress. After that timeline has run it's course, I would like another one on one to mutually discuss progress. At the conclusion of that discussion, I will inform them of my determinations as to future employment at that establishment.

While this strategy might sound like it is from a boss to employee standpoint, I have also used it when I was an employee and talking to my boss. I will admit that it definitely gets reactions from bosses and some have been pretty classic ones to remember_ LOL_ but I always walk away knowing that I did my part of the golden rule and let the chips fall where they may. :~)


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## chefbillyb (Feb 8, 2009)

Nope! I was in this business for 40 years and never put down anyone in the kitchen. We did have some hot tempers on some busy front lines but never put down another person. You get treated with respect or you leave. I may not be able to change how I'm treated but, I can control and demand how I want and will be treated.......Don't take any shit from anyone.....ChefBillyB


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

Last time it happened to me, I solemnly nodded, then went and got a glass of water and placed it in front of the screaming eejit. This caused him to scream even louder, at which point the rest of the crew broke out on laughter.


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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

It's not 1950 anymore. No chef should be behaving like that and no one should have any expectation of that being tolerated. If you otherwise have a good relationship with your chef it's probably worth scheduling a sit down to discuss it, but if that's not possible it's time to be looking for something else. I'll be the first to admit that I've been in some heated discussions at work; it's a hot, stressful environment and it happens. But I've always been the type of person to apologize right away and clear the air. If it's just a case of passions getting out of hand it's maybe not a huge deal but it can be a big red flag if you see this happening regularly.


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## someday (Aug 15, 2003)

My tip to dealing with that is to find a better job. No need to put up with that shit. Make sure you tell the chef why you're leaving too.


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