# Isn't anyone else single???



## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

I sure see a lot of talk about marriage etc., so I'm wondering if anyone else is single around here or am I the only one??? (actually, I'm divorced, but it's almost 16 years...)


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## at your service (Feb 11, 2002)

:lol: 

I think that 16 years divorced can once again constitute being considered single!!!! 

~~Tamara~~


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

I think I'm permanently single.

and permanently confused, bewildered, aching, sad, hopeful....

_sigh_


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## risa (May 11, 2001)

I think there are several of us who are single, but the topic makes it look a bit like a "pick up" joint. It might make some people more hesitant to post.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Personally, I do think that this thread is way off topic and should be closed. HEY NICKO!


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Change the topic to "cooking for one, any suggestions?" 

Kuan


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

Cooking for one? Anna Maria II Pizzaria 212-555-1234  
I rarely can get fired up enough to cook for myself. There are too few Ooohs & Ahhs


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## jock (Dec 4, 2001)

Yeah Kyle, I know what you mean. I'm married but occasionally find myself alone at a meal time. I usually end up with oatmeal or a ham and cheese sandwich (not even grilled!!!)  
Cooking for one? Sounds good to me.

Jock


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Being single is one of the drawbacks of the hospitality industry folks. We tend to spend too much time at work,my ex-girlfriend thought i lived there!!

We are in a business where we are working when other people are doing things like enjoying themselves.
It`s hard luck on us,we chose to join this industry.Does anyone believe there`s such a thing as a perfect job/career? I certainly don`t,but then again,i`m slighty cynical. 

We can`t have everything in life,if we could what the heck would we do with it?

 :chef: Leo.R.


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

Um, I'll raise my hand, I'd like that challenge Leo. I find eating out is so much easier than cooking for one....it's soooo interesting to see who's making what and watching others work. I love to sit and watch the front of the house....it's all too fun having friends cook something special or eating sushi<can you imagine making sushi for 1>or just not cooking after cooking with/for others.


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

I'm beginning to feel like a weirdo for actually liking cooking for one. There is nobody saying "eww vegetables" or "I don't actually have to eat _those_ ??? Right mommy?" Plus I get to be creative. Like my Mango Salsa with Toasted Pita Chips. Less bowls for the dishwasher and _my_ mom gets to feed the heathens.


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

OK, sometimes I DO cook for myself. But It has to be something in bulk, that I can eat several more times. Paella, gumbo, a roasting pan full of braised lamb shanks. Stuff like that.


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## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

I sort of thought so too - thanks! 


(I know how you feel...I truly do!) 

One does get used to it though - and it's nice not having anyone messing up the apartment - although there are times when I'd give anything to see a mess. The place stays so perfect it's darn near superficial!! 

As for cooking - well, the upside is, I don't have as much trouble watching my weight when I'm alone like this! I make big batches of things at once and freeze them in individual servings - works great because then I just heat and eat with paper plates and plastic cutlery - no dishes!  Good and bad with everything, I guess.

Heavy Sigh.


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## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

Were you serious about that? 


I thought this WAS the place to come for any topic...hmmmm. 

Well, if you were serious, then no one can talk about marriage, either...


I'm so confused...


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

Starlite - We recently had a bit of a dust up regarding non-food related posts. It seemed that some had lost sight of ChefTalk's original mission. You are correct. Late Night Cafe is a place for general ramblings. I would only ask that you be aware of the recent todo and understand any hypersensitivity


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

I get an email news letter from FoodTV. This month the feature article is........

.......Table for One, Flavor Matters Most When Dining Alone  Lots of recipes.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Okay, since this IS the late night cafe, I repost what I had deleted earlier.

I'm 48 and single - no kids either. There's nothing wrong with being single. Just take a look at some married couples; there, one can see loneliness, too. It's not confined to single people. A person can live alone without being lonely.

What sucks, however, is the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday. After work I come home to an empty apartment save for Chocolate, my long haired manx catster. Although he's good company there's noone else around for warmth and company. TV doesn't get it. It's just not like going to someone else's abode during the winter months and being greeted with apple cinnamon aroma when their front door opens. Homey. :look:


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

Well, according to my horoscope....my relationship energy has just been really low lately. This, of course, explains the break-up, the oh, no, we're talking again, and the why the heck was I ever with you in the first place....

sigh.


Glad you re-posted that kokopuffs. I understand about the cat. Mine is not even good company as she has been officially diagnosed with "Berserk Cat Syndrome." Seriously. It is a real diagnosis.

I affectionately call her psycho-kitty.

Will mail her to you if you'd like an extra kitty.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

Starlighte, your topic is fine. It is fun and it would seem that was your intention. Yes there are a lot of married people here but there are plenty of single people to. I never was big on cooking for myself like Kyle said I prefer the oohs and ahhs of another when I cook.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Keep YOUR cat, Nancya. You raised the animal. Besides, krazy cats are neato.

Tell me about BCS, never heard of it.


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

Her skin starts twitching...her head spasms from side to side...she starts biting at herself...then races around the house bouncing off of walls and furniture. You certainly can't touch her...I was bandaged from wrist to elbows on both arms when I tried.

Scott, our vet, says that he thinks it's psychological. Personally, looks like neurological to me. Reminds me forcibly of Tourettes. I think she is probably swearing during these fits too!


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Catnip a la valerian root.


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

How much and in what form?


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Valerian root is a muscle relaxant used both for sleep inducing and PMS. Catnip apparently smells like cat hormones/pheromones. They may mellow kitty out. However, I was only joking about the combination. Dunno' if they've been tried on cats.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

Hey guys why not start a thread about cats so we can keep this one on track? Thanks.


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

Ah....I see.

My hopes are dashed.

She does get catnip which may help some. At least she doesn't go completely insane on the catnip which another cat I had did. She starts completely insane and just stays there.

Thanks for the thought anyway.


***We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread***


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

***We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread***

That was funny... 

Now... Who are the other singles around here?


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

My cat is single!


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## coolj (Dec 12, 2000)

Okay, I'll bite, I'm one of the singles around here as well. but then again I am only 24, so there's still time.


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

I am a career single. Got close once, but John L. Dewar got in the way


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

That's what we all say.....just kidding. Kyle I can relate to the making a big batch, I roasted a variety of roots yesterday to just pickon...but I'm not into leftovers, <except Thanksgiving turket, dressing, cranberries and gravy or of course meatloaf sandwiche, had to throw in that disclaimer> I call up an old friend and go cook at his place 1 or 2 x a week, get to see a TV....he thinks it's funny that I havn't seen commercials that are 8 months old....we heckle the tv and answer questions when the commercials ask...what a funny game...pay attention and see how often the commercials ask you questions.


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## lynne (Oct 6, 2001)

Asking a question draws you in, "makes you think" a good reason salesmen use the trick.

As for the topic...

I'm a single ... married to the B&B and setting the romantic stage for everyone else.... the only men I meet are here proposing, honeymooning or celebrating an anniversary!!!!

I agree cooking for one is hard -- I tend to play and be creative when I get the chance, but it's way too easy to get in to that scrambled egg or bowl of cereal mentality.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Why don't y'all consider starting or joining a cooking club for singles? I joined one and have a blast even though I haven't hooked up with anyone yet.


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## risa (May 11, 2001)

I think a cooking club would be fun, but I'm totally useless when it comes to men and relationships. I think a cooking club without the singles part is better for me. I'm unfortunately starting to feel like a career single. It's really not good when a woman starts relating to Ally McBeal.

My worst problem with cooking for one is scaling down. I can scale up but not down, so I end up with enough leftovers to last me a week. Then, the leftovers pile up because I would have a stressful day and want to cook to relax and have a fresh meal. I shamefully waste lots of food.


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## kylew (Aug 14, 2000)

Cooking schools fill the same function as cooking clubs. Lots of slingin' singles  I met my girlfriend at cooking school. The twist is that she works there!


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

When I was single, cooking meant roasting a chicken on Sunday night and having a loaf of bread around until the chicken went away. Don't let being single get you down, there's lots of ups to being single. 

10) You can just dump that garlic in the sauce

9) You don't have to wonder if your cat will appreciate the time it took for you to make that those mini latkes.

8) No football on Sunday, or no more ice skating.

7) You don't have to share your Mom's cookies with anyone.

6) You don't go broke buying gifts for 5 nephews, 3 nieces, 6 in-laws, 3....

5) There's always enough oven space

4) You don't have to talk about where to go for dinner, you just go.

3) No more lying to his Dad about how he's just the master of the grill!

2) No need to notice something new about her mom everytime you see her.

And the best thing about being single is...

No need to log off cheftalk to pay attention to your mate!

Kuan


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Kuan:

In 25 words or less, being single means not having to close the bathroom door.:suprise:


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

Shroomgirl,i`m single but then that`s down to me being a workaholic!I have a number of friends in this industry who are divorced because they spent too much time at work.

Three years ago,the average divorce rate for hospitality employees in the U.K. was 70%.This figure was quoted in a leading catering/hospitalty magazine.
I know we are required to be dedicated & professional,but not to the point where it becomes detrimental to our home life/health.

I reached a stage 5/6 years ago,where my friends stopped phoning me because they assumed i`d be at work.  
I don`t spend 7 days a week at work any more,we all need time to relax!!! As for cooking for myself,i regularly do this as i like to experiment with different styles of cookery.

Best wishes,Leo.:chef:


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## shroomgirl (Aug 11, 2000)

NOPE no more groups for a while.....I'm done founding groups for now. Maybe I'll just participate in the ones I belong too with open eyes. hmmm singles gourmet cooking group.....so how does that work?


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## chef david simpson (Sep 25, 2000)

I'm single but not proud of it. Stillllll lookin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 :chef:  :bounce:


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## isa (Apr 4, 2000)

I'm married to my pain. So far it's only been for the worse...


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## april02 (Nov 25, 2001)

I guess I am single in the fact that I am not married. However, as I am seventeen and in a two and a half year relationship I guess you could say I'm as commited as I'd ever let myself be!!! 
I ABSOLUTELY do not think there is anything wrong with being single no matter how old you are... you're never too old to need time away to do a little soul searching and learn more about yourself. I guess that's just my opinion.:blush: :smiles: :blush: :talk: --april--


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## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

That sounds like a great idea - I just may do that! Or join one. Sounds like it could be fun - although one does have to be careful on the 'net; that I learned the hard way. But cooking should be relatively safe, Iwould hope..lol. Maybe I'll start one so I can 86 any kooks that lurk around..

Hehehe...for me it's "CATHY"...


I KNOW! I love this one - I hate closing the bathroom door cuz I'm a little claustraphobic and it's so great to just leave that door open..lol..what a topic! :bounce:


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## kimmie (Mar 13, 2001)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

LOL


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

Im not married and not single. Will soon have 3 kids and really have no plans to get married anytime soon. Im soon 25, was in one relationship for almost 9 years and in this one for almost 3. Don't think I really need the paper. I like having the easy option to leave without some legal battle. 

Ok so Im a little jaded and cynical.:lips:


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Our singles cooking group is called Accidental Chefs, here in Denver. We meet once a month at someone's abode to cook a multi course meal. The menu is prepared by our chairperson, the shopping done by two volunteers. The fee for attending a dinner is $25.

On cooking night we meet at the assigned residence, introduce ourselves to the newbys, and commence preparation. NOONE mingles idley else they won't receive another invitation. Everyone performs a task, whether it be biscuit preparation or bacon crumbling - we all spend at least 1 to 1 1/2 hours in active preparation. Then everything is cooked and presented followed by a sitdown meal. We all chip in to clean up afterwards; the kitchen is left as how it was found.

The idea behind the menu is not to stuff onesself on one single dish but instead to sample the wide variety of dishes offered to the group. In that fashion lots of feedback on all the items is available.

Also, if someone hooks up with someone else that's fine otherwise it's quite okay not to!

:chef: :chef: :chef:


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## starlite (Feb 9, 2002)

That really sounds like fun, kokopuffs! We don't have anything like that where I come from...probably because all anyone around here gets into cooking is brats with beer and lots of sausages, hot dogs and hamburgers!  

Ohhh...can feel my arteries groaning..lol.

There was a trio of guys, one I had once dated a while back who really was a very good cook, and they got their names, pictures and an entire page write up in the paper for grilling out some kind of fish - mostly because it was something different than brats, hot dogs, sausages of all kinds and steaks, too are popular. But they got a little fancier on their grills and it hits the paper! What a town! Hehehe.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Brats, huh. Are you located in Minnesota where they're popular?


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

You omitted the letter Z.

My middle name is Zinjanthropus and I give in to my most primal urges.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Well - Hello, Bond! Now I understand the shutdown that happened - it was you doing that spy thing again!


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## nancya (Apr 30, 2001)

LOL kokopuffs! I have an alternate personality with a "Z" name --- hey Bond...I need to know about the "Z". After all, she's a very popular gal! LOL - isn't the internet just insane at times? Who am I today?

Of course...I considered the "N" description to be incredibly accurate!


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## chiffonade (Nov 29, 2001)

Off topic...this implies that 100% of our lives are made up of cooking and this is out-and-out not true. I don't think the thread should be stricken or re-named. This is the cafe where the _toques_ come off, the foreheads get rubbed and what ever life issues have been neglected all day come out.

Having said that...

Re: Being single...there are billions of other single people out there asking the same question as you are.

I met my (current and last) husband in a chat room but I would not advise this for everyone. We are together almost 4 years now and I can count on one hand the times I've been unhappy.

The old cliche is so true...Love comes when you're not looking for it. Remember this and call off the hounds.

Spend your time becoming a quality person and you will attract quality people.

When you least expect it, that person you're looking for will simply show up. Something important to remember is: don't "see" things in the relationship that aren't there for the sake of permanency. (Marriage #1.)

Don't take the advice of others who feel they know you better than you do. (Marriage #2.)

Wait for someone who makes you smile without spending a zillion dollars, someone who pays attention to your needs and aspirations. Wait for someone who makes you want to live forever. This is how I knew my husband was the one.

One day we were shopping at Sam's Club and Husband disappeared. He came back bearing a box of 2 square white bowls. He knew I had broken a square serving dish and was upset about it. He said, "Didn't you want square serving bowls?" I could have cried. This is what counts. Paying attention to one another. When you find excuses to be with your spouse instead of excuses to _ditch_ your spouse (marriages #1 and #2), you'll know this is the person you want to be around all the time.


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## chiffonade (Nov 29, 2001)

My name begins with "L" and I have always felt it's the name of the duped wife whose husband is cheating on her. My mother did not have the foresight to name me "Chiffonade."


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## culinarian247 (Jan 21, 2002)

And young. I'm a year older than you and yet you've had a 9 year stint with someone already?  And this one for 3. That takes you back to pre-teen years. Whew!!!!


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

Let's just leave it as, I was attacked at 11 and latched on to a guy who was needy so that *I* would be in control. After 9 years I finally realized with the birth of our daughter, (she's 4 now), that I could stop punishing myself and that I deserved to be loved. This new relationship is much better emotionally, mentally and physically.

Like chiffonade said: " Love comes when you aren't looking for it."
I had planned on it being just me and my girl. I don't like being jaded and cynical you know.

PS
A note of caution to singles. A relationship is a balance of give and take. If you find that you are giving and giving and not getting anything back then that person is not right for you. And remember " What you *want* is not always what you *need* ."


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

Anyone ever build the perfect guy in your mind "tall, dark and handsome, well built etc." and find out after it gets serious just what a JERK he is??? And do you ever find that you always look for a particular type of guy?? Just curious.


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Bond, I sincerely hope that neither you or anyone else took my comment as serious!!!! I was joking on the CHARACTER Bond, not the persona who posts as Bond.


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## leo r. (Nov 10, 2001)

There are pros and cons for being single,depending on your point of view. I don`t have a problem about being single,i have lots of friends as well as an extended family. I enjoy a simple life and i`m not stopping anyone from pursuing their own aims or interests.
I must admit that i tend to spoil my relatives/friends children,i have trouble saying no them. 
I became a chef because i wanted to,i get great pleasure from cooking food that people then enjoy.
I think that it all depends on what you are aiming for in life.
A cynic would say that by staying single you will never face the possibility of a messy divorce/custody battle.
My answer is that life is like a motor vehicle,if you don`t put anything in to it,you`ll get nothing out of it.
Nobody in the world has to be lonely,there is a choice.

Leo R.:chef:


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## 84rhonda (Jun 19, 2001)

Okay, well said Chiffonade and very touching  .

While we are on the topic of sharing. I'm a single MALE.

Frankly, I've given up on my search for my pastry sweetheart. She really doesn't exist. sigh....

Cooking for one has been one of my strongest points now. I've almost perfected it now. :bounce: Oops I hope i didn't reveal how long i've been single for.  

I personally can't see the upside in being single. Especially in my kitchen. I find nothing sexier than cooking with your SO. :bounce: 

I've always had this crazy idea to write a cookbook for single useless males looking for exciting but easy dishes to woo their dates.  

That is all..... :chef:


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Go for the cookbook, 84 Rhonda!!! Seriously, it's a great idea; my 27 year old bachelor son is always calling me for ideas when he's having a date over for 'dinner'! I've done some writing/editing, and would be glad to help you out.


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## nicko (Oct 5, 2001)

84Honda,

I believe that there is a cookbook out for singles. I will see if I can find it. As I recall it wasn't the best, maybe you can really improve on it.


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## coolj (Dec 12, 2000)

84rhonda, this is going to sound pretty funny, but it's interesting that you're thinking of writing a cookbook for single guys to woo their dates, when just yesterday I came up with an idea about setting up a some lessons to teach single guys how to cook for their dates and keep the food budget low.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

Low food budget...what an thought! Pasta and homemade bread! Dunno' anyone who'll turn dwon those two items.


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## 84rhonda (Jun 19, 2001)

This thread is making me crack up actually. You guys have given me some inspiration to actually pursue this :bounce:. I don't even know how where to start about writing, let alone getting a book published. I don't care if this book is read by know one, I just want to see if I can put something together for the heck of it. I gotta come up with a catchy title.

Hrmm.. this sounds like a fun project afterall. 

CoolJ, when are you planning on setting up your lessons and whereabouts exactly?

I have a lot of useless male bachelor friends, everytime I drag them into a kitchen store they get all embarassed and stuff. They could use those cooking lessons. I don't know what it is about people in general nowadays. I don't know too many people that actually enjoy cooking. I can talk about it all day long. 
 Have we just gotten used to fast foods or have we gotten really lazy? Sorry for wharping the thread..oops


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## coolj (Dec 12, 2000)

Well right now the lessons are just an idea, but if anything comes of it, most likely I'll rent one of the home economy class rooms at my old high school.


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## ritafajita (Mar 2, 2002)

I actually just heard my roomate say he was going to make some bacon & cheddar dip for his pork rinds. He's been single for some time. Correlation??? He needs you to write this book! 
RF


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## plum (Mar 17, 2001)

For comparison you guys should check out a couple of British books, 'Wolf in the Kitchen' by Lindsey Bareham, and 'Dish' - can't remember the author's name but it shouldn't be hard to find. 
The first is a cookbook for students and singles who want to eat good, attractive food on a low budget, and the second one as I recall is exactly the kind of thing you're thinking of...cooking for guys.

Regards
Plum


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## w.debord (Mar 6, 2001)

As if being single isn't hard sometimes....I'm not single, but sometimes I feel like we are, since we don't have children. That's the next topic in life. Once you get married you discover that's the way that couples meet and mingle with each other. Seems most good parents evolve their off time around their children.

Being female it's like the only casual conversation women ever have and they always assume everyone else has children to. If you have more than one cat (which many single or childless couples do because of how carefree they are) you have to keep that a secret because then they think your "one of those, psychos cat people". Am I wrong?



Actually, I think it's impressive to have any man cook on a date. I think that's something that I found really attractive about my spouse (don't you guys find people are shy to cook for a "chef"?). It's a more real interaction then sitting in a formal restaurant. I'd have been and still would be delighted with any date if he served me pork rinds and cheese dip so long as he made the effort to serve me some diet soda to wash it down with.


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## kokopuffs (Aug 4, 2000)

W. DeBord:

I'm a (male) cat person and not psycho. Yet, I do find that others apologize to me for their food preparation. I don't know why, either.


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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

Goodness, don't you guys know how to play that game? You walk into the house, the host apologizes for the mess and you say... ????? That's right, you say "Oh no! Your house is always SOOOOOOOO clean!"

And when someone apologizes about the food you say... "Oh no! That's the best __________ I've ever had!" BUT, you HAVE to say, of course, no one makes it like my mother, but that's my mother 

Kuan


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## w.debord (Mar 6, 2001)

You know honestly I haven't had more then one or two bad meals at someone elses house. It's amazing how NOT picky a picky person can be when someone is kind enough to cook for me Then if they do dishes and tell me not to get up, I think I'm at the spa...that's the ulitmate luxury.

My poor (soon to be, at the time) sister in law was in a panic (so I learned) the first time she had me over for dinner. But I did a FABULOUS job breaking the ice....when I cut into my pork chop something happened (I dorked out) and the whole chop flew off my plate onto the floor. Yep, she hasn't worried about cooking for classy ole me ever again.


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## angrychef (Jan 15, 2001)

Wendy, my husband and I usually hang out with single friends since our married friends all have kids and are dashing to soccer practice or dance class. We've celebrating year 6 soon and don't plan to have kids ---and people can't believe it or think we're crazy that we don't want lil' critters...


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## shawtycat (Feb 6, 2002)

As someone who has lil critters, I usually tell my single friends who want kids (cause theyre so cute) "Ill let you borrow mine sometime so it will cure you". I dream of days without potty training and puddles on the floor. And dry beds...oh luxury


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