# I'm back and thank you



## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

Hey all. Thank you all for all your thoughts and good wishes. All in all the trip to Florida wasn't one of my better vacations, but I did get to see my family and spend some good time with all of them. Including ones I haven't seen for many years!
AS it turns out Dads heart finally had enough! The bypass was an effort to save a sinking ship. Without it he would not have lasted the year, perhaps even the month. As I was flying to Florida I saw some older folks wheelchair bound and decrepit. I'm not saying being in a wheelchair is a bad thing, but some of these people were just hanging on by threads it appeared. I don't think Dad would have done well like that. It wouldn't have been in his nature to be like that, so I am glad he didn't have to be. He went pretty quickly and peacefully. At the funeral there were well over 100 people in attendance. When I got up to do my eulogy I thanked everybody for coming and then remarked that seeing all these people made me realize that..."i've got to get more friends" It was nice hearing so many people say so many nice things about him. Dad and I had a strained relationship for many years. Towards the end we had a very cordial one, warm enough but never quite like I would have liked. But I did get to see how everyone else saw him, quirks and all and realized that he was really quite a guy. A warm, well read, outspoken and extremely intelligent man. Everything I would like to be myself. I have no regrets that things were left unspoken though perhaps some things were. But I felt good after my eulogy and every issue I ever had with the man melted away. None of it was important anymore. Our relationship adversarial as it was also helped make me into a better person. I doubt that was his plan, but what he wasn't able to teach me in "readin, ritin, and 'rithmatic he was able to instill in me caring, compassion and empathy and when all is said and done, I think I like that better.
For 81 years he managed to dodge the end, and the end came when it was supposed to. He didn't go out with a whimper nor a bang, but he went out with his head held high whether he knew it or not, and I don't think he really knew what a wake he left behind.
So thanks for all your thoughts and just so's ya know, I am more proud to be Jerry Goldsmith's son, then I ever was before!
Thanks gang!


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## markv (May 16, 2003)

Chrose:

Please accept my hearfelt sympathy and condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. 

Clearly his passing has touched you very deeply and prompted you to take stock of what he meant to your life. 

Know that you are in my thoughts. 

Mark


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

Welcome back Chrose. 
You sound proud and strong.
I don't think you know the amount of friends you have here. And we're the best kind! You can press the button and shut down any time you like.
peace
pan


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## momoreg (Mar 4, 2000)

As sad as it must be to lose a parent, I'm glad that you are seeing the positive in all of this. I agree that parents teach us more than we know, or even want to admit... Things we carry with us wherever we go. Your positive outlook shows what a remarkable person you are, and I wonder where you learned to see life that way!!!??  That in itself is a fine trait that not everyone possesses. I know that loss has its pases, and that your emotions will continue to change over time, but I'm so happy to hear how well you're doing, and that you have no regrets. Sometimes a death in the family can really stregthen other realtionships in your life as well. All my best to you, chrose.


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## mezzaluna (Aug 29, 2000)

Your warmth and outlook on life are a testament to your father's character. He must have been as proud to have you for his son as you were to be his son. 

May he rest in peace, and may his memory be for a blessing.

Mezzaluna


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## angel (Dec 13, 2000)

this seems to have ben completely re-arranged am finding it hard to find my way in,
wish me luck fotr i really think i am going to need it angel.


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## markv (May 16, 2003)

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## cakerookie (Sep 10, 2005)

We are all with you CH 100% no less. I had that same strain relationship with my step father. But I think as you do that I am a better person because of it.Hang tough man we are all here for you.


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## botanique (Mar 23, 2005)

Chrose -- thank you for trusting to post such personal and heartfelt words. You are in my thoughts.


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## phoebe (Jul 3, 2002)

*SO* glad to have you back.
Thinking of you.

Emily


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