# Idiotic orders...



## txacoli (Mar 31, 2005)

This is an oldie but a goodie, I realize.

While Rivitman and the rest of us are trying to not be humbugs at Christmastime, this is what we got last night:

One order of French Onion Soup.....hold the onions.

We have a seafood cassoulet. I know, there can be no such thing....but it is fresh canellini beans slow cooked in a vegetable broth with lots of olive oil, then prawns and wild salmon and kale and what not near the end.

One order of seafood cassoulet, no salmon. From the same table!!

I thought at first it was my bitter waitress, screwing with my head. Then I suspected a chef buddy doing the same.....Nope, civilians. Civilians who thought we were stupid, inept and stubborn to not be able to accommodate their demands........

We googled the phone number on the reservation: Arlington, Virginia. A defence intelligence company. 

No wonder we are blowing away $4 billion a week in Iraq.........


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## entropy (Nov 11, 2006)

I once got an order for an omelette, hold the eggs.

a lady also once ordered a filet mignon, medium. She then sent it back and ordered a steak black and blue. ??!?!?!?!!


how about a hollandaise without butter???

also, mashed potatoes w/o butter or salt. Puh, who's got 30 minutes to make that a la minute???


Btw, I think of this thread as pure entertainment, not complaining! :lol: 

Psychotic customers provide the most fun. :crazy: But why is it that they are always somehow seated together? and why do they always come back???


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

This happened a few days ago. We make a lot of different soups every day, and usually have at least 4 that are vegetarian some of those being strict vegan. We had a customer last week order a bowl of the vegetable beef with out the beef in it. They didn't want to hear about the other soups. So we did it and they ate it, (no thought of the beef stock) and enjoyed it. Before they left the server asked them how they liked everything. They replied that the food was good but they had to "edit the soup" to get it to be vegetarian. The server spoke up and mentioned about the 4 vegetarian soups on the menu and the customer replied "that they did'nt SOUND vegetarian enough to order"...:lol:


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## devotay (May 14, 2001)

The one that leaps to mind is the Caesar Salad, no anchovies. How does one remove anchovies that are mashed into the dressing?


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## entropy (Nov 11, 2006)

How about the orders from cheap people? I once got an appetizer order of mixed green salad split 4 ways. Or people who ask for their food with all the garnishes and sauces on seperate plates? We once had some kosher folks who refused to use the silverware, they actually demanded brand new silverware. They ended up using plastic spoons and forks for an $85 prix-fixe menu with white tablecloths on the tables.... Why do these people not eat at home? 

Uh oh, now I'm complaining, I'll stop now. Cheers!!!


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## mcb (Dec 7, 2006)

We once had a guy order a beef tenderlion well done . Sent it out to him fairly well done. Then the waitress brings it back and says it's not cooked enough. We put it back on the grill. Char the **** out of it! send it back out. Flipping thing comes back again same thing! This time we put it the deep fryer and leave in there for a couple of minutes! Send it back out and the guy LOVES it!!! At the end of his meal his only complait was that his steak "seemed a little on the small side." Yeah, go figure dude????


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

True story...

"Can I get my chicken medium, please?"


Ummm... Okay! Sure! Whatever you want!! By the way.... the bathroom is over in the corner!


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## cakerookie (Sep 10, 2005)

All this makes you wonder if people really think about what they are saying before they say it? Jim the one about the chicken is a riot! Hope you included map instructions to the nearest emergency room with it. Unreal.

Rgds Rook


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## powers (Dec 7, 2006)

Hahahaha The french onion, no onion! I have had that as well. In miami I was doing a special function, the rest. had been rented out. We had foie gras tart and 4 out of 30 were ordered with no crust...no biggie, just pulled it off. Next thing we know 3 more, no egg.....1 they want the foie ON THE SIDE!!!! The kicker is that these people were in the FRA (florida restaurant association)!!! Not chefs I presume but they ALL want to feel special. "Your way, right away" not the right restaurant, that one is down the street a**hole!! :lol: 

We also had a women, her name was Radar!! ha Now, I' m a pretty open-minded guy. I've seen a lot of weird stuff, some of which I was involved. This woman (around 40) would bring in her beanie baby reindeer and set it on the table to her side (with a place setting). She would talk to it and feed it!! OUT LOUD!! This wasn't a blue plate diner, people were dropping about $3-400 per head without alcohol. She ate there about 2-3 times a week. She also had her head shaved clean with just a tuft of hair up front. She provided tons of entertainment for us. 

As weird as it sounds I miss that type of stuff! :crazy: 

Good luck to everyone during the holidays!


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

I'm sure there had to be more but the only one that comes to mind is the person who ordered a steak "Pittsburgh style" but they wanted it medium well   I told the waitress that if they didn't know what they were ordering, I didn't know how to make it!:crazy: Boob!


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## panini (Jul 28, 2001)

This doesn't have anything to do with idiotic orders but happened to me a couple of nights ago.
We were taken to an Ethiopian Restaurant the other night. I've eaten this cuisine before so I kind of knew the routine.Well we had a few cocktails and it came to having the dishes explained and so forth. This is the point where I'm sure our server went home that night and classified me as the idiot of the night.
I was so intent on the explainations that I dipped my hands in to the water to wash my hands and I heard an  from our server. It was a little dark so instead of using the cloth drapped from her waist I proceeded to grab her skirt and dry my hands thouroughly.


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## cakerookie (Sep 10, 2005)

Pan did they throw you out?

Rgds Rook


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

One place where I worked we used to have a woman come in on a regular basis and order fried chicken, pick out all the blood veins.(!?) We never did (couldn't) and she never complained that I know of, but she'd always order it that way. My biggest pet peeve is people who complain their steak isn't done right, but they ordered it wrong because they don't really know the difference between medium rare and medium. I'd love to work in one of those places where the customers pick out their steak and cook it themselves. One of the first places like that was in Santa Barbara. My sister liverd there and couldn't wait to call me and tell me when it opened. I thought that was the best idea I'd ever heard.


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

When I first moved to Alaska there was a restaurant like that. It was closed due to fire!  No kidding!


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## phoebe (Jul 3, 2002)

Oh Pan :lol: . Good going, dude!

I have one myself. David and I went to a new, newborhood Italian restaurant some years ago during a period when I was placed on a very low sodium diet. We like to order specials, since we figure that's usually what's fresh and getting the most attention in the kitchen that night. So there was some sort of pasta served with bottarga. It didn't even occur to me to ask what it was. I just smiled at the waiter and asked that the pasta with bottarga be kept as low sodium as possible. He just kind of stared at me and said "bottarga?" I smiled my most charmingly and said, "yes, please." He shrugged. When he brought my plate I was blown, I mean BLOWN away by the amount of salt. Couldn't eat it even if I weren't on a special diet. For those, like me, who are clueless, bottarga is roe from tuna, grey mullet or swordfish, cured in, yep, MORE SALT. Yeah, I bet the chef thought I was a real prize. :crazy:


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I've been requested to butterfly a hamburger... of course since theres no way to maintain the integrity of the burger, I had to deny the request.

A woman ordered a rack of lamb, not just well done, but EXTRA WELL. After thoroughly ruining a good lamb rack *i cried*, I continued to cook it beyond well to what my idea of what extra well would be. The woman sent back the dish, insisting it was overcooked.

Bread pudding with no bananas or raisins. (Premade at beginning of day)

New York Strip, no mashed potatoes, extra steak... no dice with me on this one.

10 People order 5 burgers split for 2

1 Chicken quesadilla to be divided for 10 people... each piece was very small and falling apart

*Back in my fast food days...* "What is the difference between the medium milkshake and the small one? Why does it cost more???"


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## entropy (Nov 11, 2006)

How could I have forgotten the chopped salad orders??!?!?!? Biggest nightmare to prep to begin with, it sells better than crack, and people LOVE to mess around with that plate.

The worst orders are "chopped salad, extra chopped." Everything is already less than 1/2 inch in diameters, the romaine is julienned, so the end product is always a pile of mush. But they love it. Go figure, some people I think just like to see if they can get what they want. My friend once put the salad in the robocoup b.c she was so fed up with it. It was pretty hilarious...until the sous-chef told her to start over.


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## suzanne (May 26, 2001)

These are the best laugh of the day.  

Years ago when I was doing antipastos, we had a couple come in several times, pretty good customers overall. The woman was a model, so yup, please rinse all the oil off of EVERYTHING. Of course I did it, but . . .


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

Until his death, my father would often tell the story of the rather insistent woman (rhymes with "witch") who sent back three consecutive hot fudge sundaes because the fudge was melting her ice cream.

As my teenaged son says, "stupid should be painful."


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## lisacutri (Dec 23, 2006)

Try this one for size, i once had a man who new he was dangerously allergic to seafood but was a huge fan of it so once in a while he would order it just to make sure he was still allergic!! He came in and ordered a huge grilled seafood platter with the works and proceeded to scoff it down while my waiter watched, sure enough within a minute his head had swollen up like a football  and he was giving himself a dose of adrenalin he had in his pocket!! He knew it was going to be a close call but he just couldn't resist!!
I forgot to mention my restaruant is in Outback Australia and the closest hospital would have been a 2 hour drive away!
But the customer is always right i guess!!:lol:


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## dmt (Jul 28, 2006)

Jeez, and I thought that *I* was difficult...
Thanks for the yuks, gang!! :lol:


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## al_dente (Mar 9, 2005)

My two cents?

I think most cooks tend to forget where the customer stands. And, more so, that it is JUST that customer that is paying our wages. We often forget that we know much...and they know simply what they want. 
Do you ever recall tackling that first onion soup, and having a strand of hot onion flop off the spoon only to burn your lip? But the soup tasted so good, right?
So no onions please!

Sure, the requests may seem idiotic, but that is only because we have seen so many orders pass by. (And they'll keep coming, rest assured) Never turn it around to make the customer at fault, simply because you know better. After all it is his buck. Whether it be burgers or Wellington...make it what they want. Dispite your opinion. Otherwise....move on.

Al


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## entropy (Nov 11, 2006)

Al Dente, 
I don't think anyone here is disputing the fact that the customers don't pay for the food or wages. I think we are just letting off a little steam in a healthy manner. I read these posts with a sense of humor, there's no anger involved.

The fact of the matter is, the customer is *not* always right. If it is within my power to give the customer whatever they want, then I am perfectly happy to do it. Even if it means leaving the restaurant, getting into a cab, and driving multiple blocks to another property to get certain ingredients. I have done this. This is the hospitality industry afterall.

But there ARE customers who completely abuse the fact that they are being served. They abuse waitstaff and cooks indirectly alike. We are not cattle, we are human beings and deserve to be treated so. I know for a fact that some customers make trouble on purpose just to test the waters based on experience. Some people just complain to get compensation, like that free glass of wine, or that extra course. The worst sort of customer is the one who doesn't tip, especially after all of their requests are fulfilled.

I don't know anyone in any job position, in any industry, that doesn't have one single complaint about what they do. If you know someone who is 100% happy with their job, then I'll happily shake their hand. But if it disturbs you to read this thread, then it is your freedom of choice not to do so.

Best Wishes,
Entropy


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## boosehound (Jul 17, 2006)

i love it when a waitress comes into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face and says, " can you cook the tuna well done in the sushi?" . ummm let me think about that one, NO.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

Exactly... just keeping it light. No harm, no foul (no fowl)!


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## mikeb (Jun 29, 2004)

I've worked for chefs who refused to make any substitutions on dishes. Flat out refused, actually would go out to the table and tell the customers that the dish is designed a certain way, and he's not changing it. And I even did a stage in an Italian restaurant, where the chef (also the owner) sent out a round of free drinks to a table, then went out, talked to them, and told them to never set foot in his restaurant again (easy to do though when the restaurant is packed night after night, year after year). 

A business owner has the right to refuse service for any reason they choose. And a chef certainly has the right to refuse to change their food. Now, there are consequences to this (customer not coming back, losing money, etc...), but it's well within our rights to refuse to cater to every dumb request that comes along. 

A good story. Customer comes in, requests a substitution on his dish. Says he doesn't like the side dish. So we substitute something for him, but send the side dish out for him anyway, request that he try it. He tries it, ends up loving it, and cleans his plate. Another converted customer


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## cheri (Apr 5, 2006)

I once workedinanall you can eat BBQ joint.Onemother's day I saw a woman eat 9 chickens, 18 halves. I swear she was waiving chicken bones at me!I am a stickler formanners...I don't care what you do at home but waiving chicken bones and yelling at me while chicken grissle flys out of your mouth is where I draw the line. Gross.


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I always notice the waitresses try to sweet up to me whenever they have an unusually peculiar order.


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## steve a (Mar 13, 2006)

One of my favorite requests was a butterflied Porterhouse steak. Uhh, yeah. I'll get RIGHT ON IT!

Another was to remove the garlic from the pasta sauce. Sure... uhuh. That'll happen.

Ciao,


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

Likewise with the garlic... I've actually been asked about removing the tomatoes from pasta sauce.....


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## the_seraphim (Dec 25, 2006)

my favourite thing ever was an order we got into the kitchen for a large table (around 8 poeple, small restaurant) and i looked at it... and i swear the ticket was nearly 3 feet long...

now the longest ticket ive ever seen was for 30 people, starters, mains and desserts, and it was about 2 feet long...


these people had practically used ever button on the till to virtual send in a recipe.

i laughed so hard i nearly choked, asked the sous-chef if he and the confiseur were ok for a few minutes and walked out plus one ticket to this table and said (and i kid you not this is pretty verbatim)

"so which one of you wants to come cook this here recipe you sent through?"
*laughter*
"no im not kidding you, youve come in at the busiest time and you've asked for things that im gonna have to make from scratch and take small pieces out of pre-prepped ingredients... (its not a fresh kitchen) one of you is gonna have to come and help... or you can trust me to make nice food... is there anything here on this ticket for allergy reasons?"
"mumbling to each other.... only the garlic"
"right... no worries, ill handle your meals personally"


sent them out with most of what they had asked to have removed and got cool compliments and a sweet tip

a list of what i remember to have done

salmon and brocolli fishcakes - the salmon (not gonna happen, they come in pre-made)
gammon, egg and pineapple, rare... (uhh... one worming tablet coming up!)
seafood medley, no seafood
chicken caesar no ceasar, which i did and it came back "wheres the dressing"
hot fudge cake, no cake
garlic bread, no garlic (i melted some butter and put some salt and some onion salt into it over chiabata... seemed happy with it)

and a few other things...

if it was a fresh kitchen i probably would have done half of it... but its not so i was stuck... i took the food out myself rather than have a waiter do it... i did say id take care of it personally

it was a laugh though... and the young girl at the table was flirting with me so i didnt mind... she was cute 


my pet peeve, is people who ask for medium and then after repeatedly sending it back accept a very well done steak! my mom is one of those... if she wants rare, i give her medium, medium is well to very well done

and she never asks for rare

i personally eat my steak blue


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## jeebus (Dec 1, 2005)

My favourite lately was an irate lady, screaming at her waitress because her creme brulee wasn't screaming hot. What am I missing something here? There are places that serve hot creme brulee? After the waitress very politely sugested to the lady that creme brulee is in fact not a hot dessert the lady actually said " I fly to New York once or twice a year just to satisfy my craving for creme brulee and it is always served hot".

I have also worked for Chefs where the food is as is period, you want a substitution well F**K off and go eat somewhere else.

I have also worked for owners who would walk into the kitchen at 9 pm on a Friday with some guests recipe for beef tartar. I was an apprentice back then and it was an asianesque restaurant so we had no capers etc. "well the nice market down the street does and you better get back quick so you are not to far in the ***** when you get back"


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## entropy (Nov 11, 2006)

Some customers are just plain mean. If they want to argue, that's one thing, but its all about the approach. 

In a summer job as a teenager I worked at a very popular cafe in NYC. This other girl working with me was new and came from some other state. A local orders a "regular coffee" from her. She asks, "Do you want milk or cream with that?", b/c we served both coffee and espresso-drinks, so the question was totally fair. The customer gives her a dirty look and impatiently answers her: "I've lived in New York for 40 years, and 'regular coffee' has ALWAYS meant coffee with milk and sugar, now go make it!!!" Needless to say, this girl was so shocked she had to step away to cry. I guess the stupid customer didn't realize that our cafe happened to serve mostly tourists, who didn't like milk in their coffee and that most people who ordered 'regular coffee' meant no espresso. He never apologized. jerk....

In contrast, I once got a holiday card from a customer in the dining room who had enjoyed whatever it was I cooked for them. It was nice to be recognized!!

I'll say one thing: all of these experiences have made me appreciate the service industry all the more. So, much applause to all of us for our hard work!!! Happy Holidays!!!


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

Well, clearly the woman likes drinking a ramekin of egg custard at the end of a meal... no worries at all .

I have to admit that I've been pretty lucky with regards to receiving strange orders... I've had them, but nothing quite so interesting as the ones you guys are referring to. I guess that will come with time.


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## the_seraphim (Dec 25, 2006)

oh man... hot creme brulee.... fair enough, mistakes are made "ooh it has custard in so... hot is ok..." simple mistake... but to argue!?

When its just me on the bar and the one soft waitress who take criticism harshly... i would have asked them to apologise or failing that ask them to leave.


i dont mind, i really dont if a customer asks for something difficult, i get told off when im on the bar for doing things we "dont do" if i know we can do it then i dont see why we shouldnt.

"your too customer oriented" was what the manager said...

hehe.... still rake in £30+ tips in 3 hours on a thursday afternoon on the bar (on a good day anyway)


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I love it when I get an order for something not on the menu that is not even directly related to the style of cuisine that the restaurant is oriented with.

*Contributing*

Someone thought they were slick by trying to order a $2 childrens cake and then ask it to be substituted with a $9 chocolate ganache cake, while still trying to keep the $2 pricetag, the server tried to reason with me, saying $2 is what we pay for the cake anyway, no dice with me.


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## psywise (Nov 26, 2006)

That reminds me of customers who demand that they pay less if they choose not to have complimenatry cream/icecream with their cakes.


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## firiki03 (Oct 20, 2006)

We had this lady customer who ordered hors d'eouvres consisting of anchovies, smoked herring and cod roe spread without any drinks. After she finished most of them, she complained that they were very salty!!!


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

I think I've cooked for these people too!:bounce: 

Anyhow....

I have been know to "re-write" a menu item myself once or a couple hundred thousand times but only at those "Casual Theme" places. Although I guess that comes from many years working at one in particular (hint: Five Easy Pieces Theory) So with that said...

IMHPO I'll do whatever I can to make the guest happy just short of a 'Jig" tableside. Oh yeah, I'll laugh at the requests, look cross-eyed at some of the ludicrous but it's the requests from those guests that scream out to be "beaten like a redheaded ________" that really make you ask yourself why they even attempted to go out for dinner and why did it have to be from my kitchen.


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## chefontheloose (Dec 28, 2006)

I must say I enjoy getting "idiotic orders" for 2 reasons: 1) They kinda make you laugh, and 2) They present a challange, nothing says "I win" more than recieveing a compliment from one of these gastronomicly impaired customers despite the fact that they obviously dont know what they are talking about...wait in all fairness sometimes they just have difficulty expressing themselves.


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## chefontheloose (Dec 28, 2006)

Here are some of my idiot orders and complaints:

"There were too many blue berries in my blue berry muffin..."

UM, HELLO?

"Quiche Lorraine with no eggs..."

THICK WHITE ROUX IN OTHER WORDS?

"Fried eggs sunnyside up and scrambled..."

HUH? 

I am sure I will think of more soon enough...


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

We did a sausage pasta item, the people wanted me to remove the sausage and add meatballs instead...to the entire hotel pan, and if that wasn't enough, they wanted me to do it for them at no charge...

...

...

ok, heres what i'll do for you at no charge, slowly raise my middle finger and toss a few curse words your way...all for free.


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## starlord (Jul 14, 2006)

One of my pet peeves comes about due to wait staff who have absolutely no idea of the history or ingredients of the food ordered.

One of my favorite dishes is fish and chips. I would love it if I could get it wrapped in a newspaper, with vinegar for the chips, but I digress. I always get this bubble-headed waitress who stands there, cracking her gum, holding her orderpad with her pen poised above it, and intones the , in my mind, ultimate stupid question. "You want fries with that?"

I don't feel it is my job to educate her to the fact that chips is what the British call fries, and fish and chips comes to us from the U.K.

The only thing nearly as idiotic was the night I went into a Mexican restaurant, and ordered a chimichanga, enchilada style. The waitress, not Hispanic, cheerfully asked me if I wanted them to put cheese on it for me. I felt silly having to tell her that enchilada style means covered with shredded cheese.


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## chef sandy (Jan 4, 2007)

I once had a customer ask that that special of the day (fish) not be grilled she was allergic to grill. How in the heck can you be allergic to grill????


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## blueicus (Mar 16, 2005)

Oh my god... that just made my day.

Oh, and tonight, 12 am, I'm the only cook left, the restaurant is empty, no one's ordered in 40 minutes, I wrapped everything up and made sure everything was clean/shut down, then these three people walk in and basically order dinner, utilizing every single section... clearly they were not cooks. :look:


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## starlord (Jul 14, 2006)

While the ignorance and bull-headedness of the coustomer is legend, we nust remember that sometimes wiat staf can be just as dense. One of my favorite meals is fish and chips, and when it is done right, it is, to me, the greatest gift of the UK to food.

It never fails that when a local restaurant has a special on fish and chips, I order it, and the waitress stands there, her Bic poised over her order pad, cracking her gum, and intones that famous question,"Do you want fries with that?" I have given up on trying to educate the waitresses of the world that what we call fries, the British, who originated the dish, call chips. They always act like it is a total revelation to them that French Fries are anything but French Fries.


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## tcapper (Aug 29, 2006)

http://www.chefsworld.net/chefs_foru...a=&FTID=eF8%3D

Some people should just not be let out, I think a book is in order.


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

Here is a nice one... lamb rack well done... butterflied.

What i ended up doing (based on the little information/interpretation I had) was breaking the lamb rack into individual chops, then butterflying each chop... was a massive pain... but since the restaurant was dead I managed.

To my surprise, the plate wasnt sent back.


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## piracer (Jun 22, 2006)

when i had a part time job we were selling a rather nice crab sandwhich. anyway, some guy ordered one and 5 mins later the waitress came back saying the guy didnt like crab.

Why order a crab sandwhich then? it clearly says there crab sandwhich...


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Most idiotic customer I ever had was the "gentleman" who placed his order with the demand that no "people of color" (and folks that's a euphamism for the word he actually used, one I will not repeat here) be involved in the making of his food, because he didn't want it "contaminated" somehow.

While I have a policy to always try and be accomodating in my kitchen, I also have a low tolerance for certain behavior. I collected up the GM, aprised him of the situation, and the two of us frog-marched this walking pit-stain and his family out of our restaurant with warnings that if he ever showed his racist face again, we'd call the cops on him for trespassing.


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

Bravo!

I have no problem personally or professionally with "people of color" however, I do get the loudest trouble from them...hate to say it but hey, its college! Everyone is a jerkoff there.


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## fledgling (Jan 13, 2007)

Once, I was working for this bar, and I was right in the middle of my Beverage Identification class (aka Wine). I am working my way up to being a well-educated culinarian with wine and beer, and one night, I had a woman come in and order a white zinfandel. I instantly hated her. All we had was a red zinfandel, and a "rose" zinfandel (some awful box wine that was labeled rose), so I told her, "I can get you a rose, if you'd like, ma'am. We do not carry a white zinfandel." She gives me the snobbiest look she could possibly muster, and said, with the snobbiest voice she could stand, "ALL white zinfandels are pink." 

Pink? And even worse, WHITE ZINFANDEL?!?!?!?!

I had another server take her. And I don't work at that bar anymore.


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I remember this one now... back from my TGIF days.

I received an order for a burger... special instructions were to: "Prepare exactly like Burger King would"... to top things off there was a BK across the street from us.


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## blade55440 (Sep 9, 2005)

ready for this one?

"bowl of chips. 86 red chips."

I promptly looked at the server who asked for it...then filled the order...hiding one red chip on the bottom of the bowl.

I'm sorry, but an idiotic order is one thing... but someone doing that, deserves to be punished.


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## logghib (May 4, 2005)

I find judging people on their admittedly bad taste is not too cool. Maybe she just wanted a white zin because she was in the mood for what is, essentially, a wine cooler. Sometimes I want to drink a crappy beer at a bar because it is vaguely sweet, bland, and quenches thirst. You shouldn't hate on people because they want to give you money for a product you yourself would not pay for.

Also, yeah, white zinfandel is a rose. You could have just given her a glass of box wine and she probably would have been happy with it.


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## erik (Jan 23, 2006)

Used to have regulars at a chain restaurant I worked at while in school that would constantly order a slice of our 3-layer carrot cake hot! In order for it to be hot enough for them, we have to nuke it until the cream cheese icing was reduced to a greasy pool on the plate. They loved it, got it once a week.


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## mredikop (Dec 6, 2006)

Here are a few funny ones I have heard in the past.

Monte Christo -- no egg
Reuben Sandwich -- no sauerkraut
Caesar Salad -- no anchovies
Eggs Benedict -- no Hollandaise
"Can you omit the milk from the bechamel? I am lactose intolerant"


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

One we got several times at one of the Fridays I worked at was "no lettuce, tomato, onion sub extra burger patty" or how about a "French dip no au jus, no onion sub extra beef, no fries sub extra bread"  Not gonna happen. LOL


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

I caught a couple guys stealing food. Now, its night time, I havn't had a break in 10hrs and theres only 2 of us left (me and the cashier). My cashier needed to use the bathroom and the late afternoon rush was over. A couple guys take the pizza from the self serve warmers reading the sign "please help yourself, self serve pizzas" thinking the pizza was free. I politely said "Excuse me but you still need to pay for the pizzas" ...all I got was, [in loud tones] "Theres no 1 to pay to" and "The sign said Just take it" so its free".

Next morning, I get called up to the college presidents office accompanied by the a student council rep. I was blamed for being racist, I'm now being put on review and performance eval. I am fighting this of course, my managers know me better then to do something stupid like that and same goes with the college director who oversees outsourced services plus a couple eyewitnesses.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Why are you supposedly racist, again? For asking someone to pay for their food?


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## piracer (Jun 22, 2006)

im guessing it would be because the students were black?


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

Exactly! People are total ******** where I work.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

Jeez. Some people can be so stupid.


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## piracer (Jun 22, 2006)

sheesh, i was just confirming, no need to get all insulting on people...


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

:lol: :lol: :lol: I am not suprise att all.


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## logghib (May 4, 2005)

I am guessing they were calling the people pulling the racist card stupid, not you.


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

anybody that needs to eat in less than 30 min. because they have a plane to catch in less than an hour.:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## headless chicken (Apr 28, 2003)

Today I had a guy come up to me asking "gimme 1"...1 wut? I have a dozen items on my menu adding another half a dozen if you include the combos. Man got a little frustrated because I wasn't a mind reader so I just tossed a burger onto the grill for him. He then has the audacity to then tell me to hurry up his order because he was late for class, it only takes 2mins to do from start to finish, how much faster can I go when I got a line of 10 people after you! It took the guy longer to tell me wtf he wanted then for me to make it...jeez!


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## tsblo (Jan 19, 2007)

I once had an order for a steak, done rare, that got sent back for being over done... a series of 4 times. He wanted it warmed up was what we got from him. The sous chef left the kitchen to dismiss the patron, saying that we have to actually cook what we serve for meat, and if he wanted raw meat, to go to the butcher shop.


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## jackbutler (Jan 11, 2007)

I was indeed.


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## piracer (Jun 22, 2006)

ha, right, ok, my bad.


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## psywise (Nov 26, 2006)

asked today: "How much egg is in the mayonaise? And could you make it for me with not very much egg at all?"


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## lisacutri (Dec 23, 2006)

i actually had a patron walk out becuase we had served his steak with house cut chips, (that we leave the skins on) and he was so disgusted that we could served food that "worms have touched" (exact words) eg the skins on the potatoes! yep he was a 50 year old man stamping his feet! 
of course we wouldn't wash the potatoes first that would be just silly!


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## castironchef (Oct 10, 2005)

Yeah. But what about his salad?


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## atltournant (Apr 24, 2007)

A customer asked for wasabi-seared tuna and wanted it rare [as it should be served],BUT,didn't want the center to be red.

Or working a holiday buffet at Ritz-Carlton. Even though it was written on fancy cards what it was I was making on the action station, people would still ask constantly "What's this?"

God forbid people use basic reading skills!


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I was hoping this thread would be revived.

"Waiter, theres a problem with my shrimp cocktail, its cold"


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## breton beats (Feb 21, 2007)

Maybe I am the one missing something. 

I once worked in a restaurant and had several complaints that the Creme Brulee was only hot on top (the just carmalized), but the center was still cool. Is there some where in the world where Creme Brulee is served hot all the way through. These customers actually suggested that I nuke the things.


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

I had a similar situation with our chocolate cakes (which are 80% ganache).

I explained to the server several times that if I warm the cake up, it is going to turn into a messy puddle of liquid chocolate. Both the customer and the waiter didnt believe me, so puddle of chocolate was what they got.


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## Chef W.G (Nov 8, 2001)

Last Night.....

" I'll have the mushroom ravioli. Hold the pasta, and the mushrooms."


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

Hey Breton Beats, I have been getting the same thing. The only thing I can figure out is possible confusion with Creme Caramel. LOL, glad I am not the only one!


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## atltournant (Apr 24, 2007)

My friend at Ritz-Carlton [a great place for screwy stories!] got a room order request for a burger with Swiss,medium and no bun.

The order was for the guest's DOG.

How did the guest know his dog wanted it medium? Why not rare? and perhaps the dog wanted his burger black and blue...


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## greyeaglem (Apr 17, 2006)

RAS1187, that reminded me of a place I was working where one of the waitresses went to the bar and ordered a shrimp cocktail. Guess she didn't know what it was. She got mad because we were all hooting over it. Shrimp cocktail has kind of been phased out over the years as an appetizer. I guess it shouldn't surprise us that people don't know what it is.


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## lenny (Apr 30, 2007)

We had someone come in the other day saying they were allergic to sulfites. That was a first for me! The worst(funniest) ones for me are the "oh a little is OK" ones. For instance, one customer couldn't have the roasted garlic mashed potatoes, but was ok with c-zar. When told that the dressing had garlic, she said it was the whole cloves that she couldn't have.


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## plongeur (Aug 1, 2005)

I spent the winter season working in a private ski chalet in the French alps, mostly cooking for the owners and/or their friends. One week we had a group in who, after three days, told me they were 'kosher'. This after eating pork sausages and bacon sandwiches for breakfast every day. They decided they were kosher because I was serving monkfish tails wrapped in parma ham for dinner - they didn't want the monkfish because it's not kosher, which was a new one on me but, after some reading, found that this is indeed the case.
But after further discussion it turned out that they just didn't like fish, full stop. So why not say that? Because then they wouldn't be 'special', I guess.
Also had one guest who would ONLY eat chicken breast for dinner, nothing else apart from pasta with tomato sauce. She blamed her mother who had allowed her as a teenager to live for a whole YEAR eating nothing but chocolate yoghurts and chocolate biscuits. 
What is it with faddy eaters?
Best was the group of three children who said they wanted their smoked salmon 'cooked not smoked please'. Right, I said, you just mean like poached salmon? No, not poached, fried, grilled but smoked - just without the smoke.
Ah, you mean like gravadlax?
No, don't like raw. We want it cooked like it is when it's smoked but without the smoke...
Just gave them thin slices of salmon filet steamed lightly.


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## piracer (Jun 22, 2006)

lol, silly children, thats kinda cute though...


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## jeebus (Dec 1, 2005)

I had a guest freak out last night cause he insisted we could in fact grill his french fries for him.


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## brianthecook (May 2, 2007)

Anyone here hate the Atkins Diet!!!!!!!! I DO!!!!!!!!


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## ras1187 (Oct 3, 2006)

*guest sends back french onion soup*

Waiter: The guest says he wants french onion soup, not brown stock with onions...

Me: *scratches head* rigggghhhhttttt *laughs*


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## brianthecook (May 2, 2007)

Describe how said soup was presented and made......... Please.


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