# Dating the waitress



## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

I met my wife whilst working in an Italian restaurant, one night she sort of fell on me and we never looked back. I quit soon after and moved to a French restaurant- I thought it would be better if we didn't work together. I've been in the industry for over 25 years, and when I was in my twenties I dated quite a few of the girls I worked with. However, I normally found it quite awkward if things didn't work out.
Have any of you found true love in the kitchen?


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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

My ex-wife and I worked together, and it sucked. I've dated a few servers that I worked with, and 1/2 the times it's been good and the other half disasters.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

Dated a hostess for a summer, then started dating her best friend, a waitress, who I had known since we were kids.
We celebrated our 22nd anniversary this year.


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## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

Well done, 22 years is a great achievement, my wife and I will celebrate 10 years next May. Who said you can't find true love at work? LOL!


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## peachcreek (Sep 21, 2001)

I was helping with a friends' big party on my day off- doing the menu and coordinating- all the help was a bunch of my friends' friends who sign up to volunteer doing the set up and minor kitchen help. That particular year the 'help' decided to go our for champagne brunch, then sightsee, have lunch and show up about 5 hrs late. By that time i was beyond irrassible- one girl asked to one of my helpers who that jerk in the kitchen was.. She came up and asked if I needed a beer and in a very short and jerky way I said NO!!! Not right now!! I'm BUSY!!!"
At the end of the night as I was putting the food away and cleaning up (the party went great after all even with the help showing up late) the same girl came up and asked if I was still busy and ready for that beer yet. I said yes to the beer. That was 14 yrs ago. We've been together ever since


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## marmalady (Apr 19, 2001)

Never dated anyone, but got put into an awfully awkward situation. When I was 19, I waitressed at a big restaurant in the Haymarket section of Boston. It really was waitress **** back then; we did everything, from bus the table to ordering, serving, pouring water, and running to the bar. We went through a line to pick up our dishes; there was a fish station, carving station,and grill station. The guy at the carving station decided he had a crush on me, and it got more uncomfortable, as he would leave flowers in my locker, make me a 'special' lunch, and started making sure I had the best cuts of prime rib, etc. I was pretty much handling it by ignoring him, hoping he'd get the hint; til one day my 'real' BF showed up to take me home. Oh, brother! From that point on, whenever I'd cue in the line and he saw me coming, he'd throw his towel down just when I got his station, and go 'on break'. Leaving me in the lurch with all my tables and their orders. After about a week of this, the manager stepped in and gave him a talking to, and things sort of got back to normal after that. What made it worse was that he was the 'darling' of all the older Italian waitresses there, so of course I was cast as the #*(#(#$*(!


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## rat (Mar 2, 2006)

IMO never a good idea, not only is it unprofessional these relationships eventually fall apart and always result in awkward moments and the involvement of people who would otherwise not care. There are millions of people out there and to have to date someone at work is surely the mark of a loser. Go out meet new people.


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## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

Thanks for your input but a little strong don't you think? _'surely the mark of a loser'_
Many chefs/waiters/waitresses who work 12/18 hour days don't have a lot of time to meet people outside of work, nor do they find it easy having relationships with people who don't understand the hours etc..These things happen; you work closely with people for much of the week and you tend to socialise after work down the bar/pub, I've never worked anywhere where staff didn't mingle whether professional or not. 
I think someones had a bad experience they don't want to share.....


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I disagree with everything after "IMO never a good idea", only because you're entitled to your opinion.
I am surprised at such a response, especially in light of previous posts.


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## rivver (May 13, 2009)

WOw..../grabs popcorn


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## rat (Mar 2, 2006)

No not a bad experience at all, perhaps the term loser is a bit too strong, I seriously doubt everyone here works 18 hours a day. It is not hard to meet people if you think about it, as chefs don't you network? Go on online cooking forums, demos, shopping? Out to eat?I am married to a chef who I met outside of work, it has been my observation that these relationships do not work out most of the time. Surely people do find that connection but that is a rare one, kudos to people that have made it work.
I disagree only if it creates tension and disruption in the workplace, especially if the chef is in a managerial position. Case in point the last sous chef at my last job, dating a waitress who now had the best shifts, did the least sidework, got to have a dinner special made at the end of service. This really created a LOT of dissention in the ranks. This would happen to whomever the flavor of the day was with him and went on for a few years. It really brought down morale. Or my manager poking the waitresses or hostesses who once again get preferential treatment, or the chefs girlfriend who is a terrible waitress but cannot be repremanded because you will PO the chef, even if she screws up every table every night. Don't you think there is a reason why most companies do not encourage this practice? I'm not talking about socializing but dating, I am assuming there are other people at the pub than your co-workers who would be better suited to be your wing man than bed partner.

Thanks for the slam Jim, my previous posts have nothing to do with my opinion here.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

*I meant previous posts in this thread.*
I am offended by your initial post in this thread.
Hard to believe you would read the thread, see that some have had successful relationships, then make such a ridiculous statement.
"unprofessional" "eventually fall apart" "*always *result in awkward moments" "*have* to date someone at work is surely the mark of a loser."
For me to make a post about my successful relationship and then have you respond in the manner that you did was surprising, which is why I followed up with the post I did.

Now you are trying to qualify your statements.
Even that is referring to a very specific situation, and the thread wasn't limited in that way.

There was no unproffessionalism in my dating my eventual wife, we were both line employees, not management.
Yes, eventually it will fall apart....upon death.
Never had an awkward moment. In fact most of our coworkers were at our wedding.
I didn't _*have *_to date her, in the sense you mean, as if I couldn't date anyone but a coworker.
I *had* to date her because I fell in love with her. You can't pick who you fall for.
And I guess yes, I've been a loser for 22 years and counting.

I still look forward to hearing more of your opinions on food though.
*Those* I value.


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## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

This is meant to be a light hearted thread; I consider myself lucky to have found my wonderful wife regardless of where we met. However, being a chef for as many years as I have, it's only natural to have had a few relationships with co-workers. As I said earlier they didn't always work out well, however you can't discount the fact that one day someone might come along that is your perfect match (whether at work or not). 

I thought it would be nice to hear from people who have, or haven't had success finding Miss/Mr Right, or Miss/Mr Right Now, either in the kitchen or the walk-in fridge, storeroom, managers office, etc........:roll:


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## duckfat (Aug 7, 2008)

I met my first wife in the kitchen. While we were only together five years the fact that we eventually split had nothing to do with working together. I've dated several waitresses. In retrospect that was probably not the best idea, then again it was a lot of fun. :lol:


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I apologize for my part in the thread going downhill.
Perhaps I'll take a drama-mine


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## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

No need to apologize, I think we were both suprised by the 'loser' comment.


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## caterchef (Oct 12, 2009)

My wife was a high school lifeguard and we just had our 50th anniversary
and after seeing the waitress pool for the last 55years I am glad the pool I chose from had water in it.:lol: I have seen more problems than I have seen success stories.
The advantages may be that you have something in common but ,the disadvantage is
tells each other how you deal with pressure both work and peers. :thumb:


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I don't think that's industry specific.
I think that's marriage in general.


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## caterchef (Oct 12, 2009)

Mabe I should have used a comma instead of a period and a smiley face
to connect it with the preceding remark. It's just that I have seen more problems with
co-workers dating a waitress than sucess stories of marriages.


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

I agree, I've seen more failures than successes in the dating of co-workers.
But I still think that's pretty average in all relationships, co-workers or not.


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## rivver (May 13, 2009)

So my comment was removed? Nice job on censorship! Walk-inn cooler love, was it seriously that bad? I was just adding a little fun to this thread and anyone that works in a kitchen knows about walk-inn cooler love. I was unaware that joking was not accpeted behavior on this forum! However, aggression towards other posters seems perfectly fine.

To whom ever removed my comment, your use of censorship is amazing! Joking about a subject = bad. Insulting people = good. Well done! Please, go buy yourself a black marker and read Kitchen Confidential and censor it. Then reread the two page book.


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## pembroke (Sep 26, 2009)

I thought it was quite funny and certainly not offensive, funny old thread this is turning out to be.....


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## just jim (Oct 18, 2007)

My wife is getting a kick out of it.......

.....but you know what a loser she is. :roll:


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## rivver (May 13, 2009)

I was surprised it was removed, considering that there is a 3-4 page of drug use in the work place post. This is why censoring posts are a bad thing. I can understand If someone is being racist, or threating, but to censor such a vague statement as walk-inn cooler love? What does that mean? Maybe I was reading a waitress some poetry that I wrote? Your hair shines like my demi glace, your eyes bright and red like the coals in my grill....wait, why are your eyes so,... you been drinking the kitchen hooch?!


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