# Most memorable stupid orders you've gotten



## chadateit

I did a quick search and didn't see a thread on this, so please forgive me if it's been done. 

I thought this subject might be pretty funny... 

I'm sure I could come up with quite a few, but two stand out in my mind... 

Ridiculously busy kitchen, in the middle of dinner service (super fine dining, but with a bar that also could do 150+ for dinner out of the same kitchen at the same time). The bar puts an order for a burger, split, with two different temps - What server would take this order? I think the server was lucky it was an open kitchen, as the chef on the line may otherwise have actually gotten physically violent.

My personal favorite was a banquet order for a Caesar's salad (for a party of about 100 people) that, 20 minutes before plating, was updated saying that the Caesar dressing couldn't have anchovies, garlic, or egg. What do you even say to that?


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## berndy

I once had a guy ordering a tomato paste and sliced raw onion sandwich on white.

He did enjoy his sandwich and came back the next day for another one./img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


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## foodnfoto

When doing barista work recently someone asked for an Oat Milk Cappuccino. We do soy and almond milk espresso drinks, but Oat Milk?

Why would you even want to drink that. I understand food sensitivities, but oat milk?

 Eeww


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## just jim

"What cheeses are in the lasagna?"

"Ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan and cheddar"

"Okay, they'll have the lasagna, but without the cheddar"

"I want my steak medium rare, but absolutely no pink or red"

"I'm very allergic to garlic, is there any in the special?"

"Yes, there is a little"

"Well, as long as I can't see it I'll be okay. I'll have the special"


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## eloki

"Could you cook the steaks well-done please?  Otherwise, it will be too tough for me to eat..."  err.. what?


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## shichangchu

I want the stuffed salmon. I don't like the taste of salmon though, so don't make it taste like salmon.

I want scallops cooked super well done but not rubbery.

I'll have the hollandaise but I want it boiling hot.


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## halecarlton

I would like a vegan omelet

So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease

He said it was the best omelet he's ever had


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## cookers

halecarlton said:


> I would like a vegan omelet
> 
> So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease
> 
> He said it was the best omelet he's ever had


hahahaha!

One time I had a couple order a steak going Pittsburgh-style medium well. (For those of you who don't know what that means, you heat a pan extremely hot and put the steak on it on each side long enough to sear a crust while the inside remains raw.) Apparently they didn't know what it meant either but argued that they did. They were food experts as they say.

In one of our old risotto dishes, the beets would turn the whole thing neon pink. Well, some guy requested that he didn't want his meal pink because he is a real man. The server told me it was said in a very disrespectful way toward the kitchen. I kept the beets out and put a drop of blue food coloring in it representing that he is a man hence the color blue. The look on the servers face was priceless when she took it from the window. I said, ''Just take it. If there's a complaint, I'll make him a normal one without beets and it will be white.'' The guy who ordered it nearly died of laughter at the table. He was a grouchy regular who treated our staff like crap, but after that he never had special requests or complaints. So then the server started writing in blue risotto after that and it left everyone confused who would be on the line cooking. The server is an older women who is worn out and she just asks, ''Can you make it blue again?'' Everyone thinks she is losing her mind.


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## twyst

We do a burger  with all our prime beef trimmings for happy hour on mondays.  Got a ticket for a split burger with two different temps last week.

Also had a woman ask to sub pasta for rice on her gluten free entree.


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## ummwaterstock

i had a catering order today that stated vegetable wellington with a side of vegetables....what, really...okay


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## margotron

My place has a peanut butter, cranberry sauce, granny smith apple, and banana sandwich on the menu... This guy orders it every single day, adding sprouts and pickles to it /img/vbsmilies/smilies/frown.gif

If that's not horrible enough, another guy orders the same sandwich with tomatoes and mushrooms. Blech!


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## billpitcher

We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.


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## michaelga

just this tells me ...


> they are not soft enough for their false teeth.


that I should ignore the rest of your posts...

... welcome by the way.

o.0


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## michaelga

billpitcher said:


> We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.


Just a tip:

When your guests are regularly sending things back;

you are 'regularly' sending things out wrongly to the paying clientele that keeps you employed.

Good Luck With That!


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## meezenplaz

True but...how do you "uncrunch" a fresh Ceasar? I mean really! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


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## ras1187

My all-time classics (some of them I have posted here years ago but why not re-post them for those that missed it)

- Ny Strip Steak, no mashed potatoes, sub extra steak (wanted to smack the server that took this order)

- Obligatory split burger cooked to different temperatures with different cheeses and different sides

- Obligatory order for medium-well to well or any other hybrid doneness

- Obligatory order for something to be split 3+ ways

- Obligatory order for salad with every single individual ingredient on the side

- Order for burger with cheese on the side... melted. "So you want me to melt the cheese on a plate?" "Yes"

- Tuna Tartar with well done tuna

- Shrimp Cocktail sent back. The complaint, "It's cold"

- Lamb Chops ordered "Extra Well" done. Sent back to me because it was "overcooked"

- Lamb Chops ordered well done. Sent back to me because each individual chop needed to be charred completely on both sides

- Order for raw steak (meaning taken right out of the cooler and thrown on a plate) with a side of avocado and sliced tomato

- Order for well done burger. Not unusual, but the guest told the server "My doctor told me I can't have any red meat" and was dead serious

- Vegetarian pasta ordered. I asked what kind of vegetables the guest wanted in the pasta and the response was "whatever". Pasta sent back 3 times because the guest wanted a specific veggie (asparagus, mushrooms, etc) added to the pasta each time

- Turkey breast sandwich made with heirloom tomatoes. Guest is infuriated and 100% convinced that I served him a rotten tomato even after the manager explained what an heirloom tomato was.

- Guest orders pasta with side of butter. Complains and throws a total storm because the butter is melted "too much"..

- French Onion Soup, no onions

- Guest orders steak well done. Asks for A-1 sauce and instructs server to apologize to me for "ruining the steak by adding steak sauce to it" *shrug*

- "So your french onion soup is not vegetarian?" "No, it isn't, it is made with beef/veal stock" "THAT IS SO STUPID, WHO DOES THIS??? WHY DO YOU GUYS DO THIS???"

I'm sure I have a few more lying around in the suppressed 9th circle of my mind that I promised myself I would forget. Will post if I can remember them.


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## billpitcher

MichaelGA said:


> Just a tip:
> 
> When your guests are regularly sending things back;
> you are 'regularly' sending things out wrongly to the paying clientele that keeps you employed.
> 
> Good Luck With That!


Wow, thanks for warm welcome.

I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.

They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.

I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.

But hey, thanks for the tip.


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## colombochute

Today's special was sirloin a la plancha and a customer asked my wife if we could make it vegetarian...


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## left4bread

RAS1187 said:


> My all-time classics (some of them I have posted here years ago but why not re-post them for those that missed it)
> 
> - Order for well done burger. Not unusual, but the guest told the server "My doctor told me I can't have any red meat" and was dead serious


I literally laughed out loud. Priceless.

Server once told me that the guy was allergic to beurre blanc, wanted hollandaise instead.

I start making a hollandaise (in middle of dinner rush) in a pan and.... hey, wait a sec here.... he's allergic to.... what, butter?

Gahhhh!!! Server lied to me!


billpitcher said:


> We regularly have guests send back vegetables because they are not soft enough for their false teeth. We also got a complaint about Romaine being too crunchy.


These are hilarious, but I'll share one that's relative Romainely:

Customer just had dental work done but wanted a Caesar salad... puréed.

Worst pesto ever! Served it anyway.

Also:

Server: "What kind of meat is in the meatloaf?"

Me: "Beef"

Server (annoyed): "Yes, but what KIND of beef? Cow, pig, chicken, lamb...!?"

Me (confused): ".....Uh, beef?"

Also, billpitcher, you don't need to defend yourself.

Welcome, for reals! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


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## just jim

"Is it white or dark meat in the chicken fried steak?"

"Well, it's kind of dark....it's beef."

"No it's not, it's chicken, why do you think it's called chicken fried steak?"

"Because it's steak...fried like....chicken."


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## Apprentichef

billpitcher said:


> Wow, thanks for warm welcome.
> I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.
> They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.
> I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.
> But hey, thanks for the tip.


What they were getting at is that you are cooking your vegetables wrong. Veg should be cooked, not overcooked, just cooked. A lot of chefs/cooks have problems with people that try and serve vegetables al dente.

Then again, there are people that want the bejeesus cooked out of their veg, much like some people enjoy well done steak.

/shrug


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## shoemaker14

billpitcher said:


> Wow, thanks for warm welcome.
> I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.
> They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.
> I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.
> But hey, thanks for the tip.


Take it with a grain of salt. Some people will latch onto words you use and form an opinion in their minds. In this case the word "regularly" stuck out in peoples' minds. Chances are you know what you are doing.


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## arugula

Worked at a place one time that had a dish which was pomadoro sauce on linguini with some veg. At least once a week have a server ask me to sub the sauce in the tuscan linguini for pomadoro -_- *shakes head.


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## cabinus

•We offer brown rice as a substitute for white rice for our sushi rolls, and as if that's not already a pain to do (since brown rice isn't sticky enough), we have guests once in a while who order sushi rolls with brown rice, NO NORI. it's such a nightmare having to work with plastic wrap and brown rice only to end up with a mess.
•I've also had guests try to order half brown half white rice, avocado on half the roll, no sriracha on one side. I just shake my head and decline such a stupid request. It's a sushi roll, not a pizza!

• A couple years ago I had to cater for a movie production and one of the stars in the film was rapper Ja Rule. One day I served the cast some baked salmon cooked beautifully. A couple minutes later, Ja Rule came to our little makeshift kitchen and asked me to "throw it [the salmon] on the grill a little bit longer". Keep in mind we did not have a grill with us at the time because our menu for that day didn't require one. I gave him the most blank stare ever and he never figured it out!


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## chefbuba

I have rapper stories that way top that one!


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## michaelga

chefbuba said:


> I have rapper stories that way top that one!


Give 'em up!



love to hear some of them... just use Mr. XXXX


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## shu connolly

Just last week we had a waiter come in and say that a customer wants the Barramundi for her fish and chips "grilled, with no butter or oil" me and me chef just look at each other and shake our heads


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## chefbuba

Puffy, Snoop, Dr Dre, MJ, Janet, janet ....These are some of the ones that I remember, as far as who did what.......that's stuff that I won't discuss here due to the risk of offending someone, in private with someone that I know, that's a different story.

30 days working at night on the Puffy video, he had a big crew of leaches with him, I got into it with one of his "people".......... Biggest disappointment, I didn't get to meet Jimmy Page.

30+ days on Scream, Janet is easy, MJ was the wacky one, confidentiality agreement stated: You will not look Mr Jackson in the eye, he had his own chef, but they were always mooching food off us, had to be in a sealed, original package.

We were at Universal Studios spread over 3 or 4 sound stages, the truck was parked right outside one of the stages, next to the line for one of the rides.

MJ had a stand in that looked just like him. The guy came out to get a cup of coffee and got heckled by someone in line, yelling " Effing pedophile"

Riders with crap like The Artist will have available at all times: lime jello, miracle whip & bologna, blue m&m's.... you get the picture.

I just wish that I had the wherewith all to have saved stuff like the riders and agreements. Back then, cameras were big, bulky and frowned upon on set so not many photos of all those years.

I got yelled at on a car commercial for shooting a new model year VW with a long lens. Now days, everyone has a camera in their pocket.


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## sparkie

> One time I had a couple order a steak going Pittsburgh-style medium well. (For those of you who don't know what that means, you heat a pan extremely hot and put the steak on it on each side long enough to sear a crust while the inside remains raw.) Apparently they didn't know what it meant either but argued that they did. They were food experts as they say. /QUOTE]
> 
> I've been getting this one a few times a year for two years now, from someone who " knows about food". Could it be the same person? Maybe we're wrong!
> 
> Every time I run a bone-in filet special, somebody has to have it split. First time I got it, cooked the filet cut it off the bone, and split it. Complained that I didn't serve the bone. Next time, I go through all of the steaks and find one with cartilage in the middle so I can cut all the way through. Complained that one half was bigger than the other. Now, I cut it off of the bone, slice it into 8 pieces and serve it fanned out of the bone on one plate, and have the server split it at the table. I the number of times I get this request has since been reduced significantly;-)
> 
> Linguine Vongole, " Can I substitute extra clams for the pasta?" NO!


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## sparkie

Steak medium- rare, no blood. In between temps, that stuff drives me insane!


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## chefedb

> On a menu turned in to kitchen by banquet dept for a wedding years ago


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## berndy

An older American custumer ordered Sauerbraten in my German Restaurant but he told the waitress that he does not want it to be sour/img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gif


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## chefedb

We had a customer call the next day and told the manager that while at the buffet he had some meat dish with red cabbage that  he claimed was sour..       It was sauerbraten???????

God bless the public.!


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## berndy

Then there was  this lonely customer who always complained from the time she showed up without reservations every Wednesday at 8:00 PM when the place was packed and we all were busy.

She was always alone and very demanding and we did get used to her complaining.

Once  when she did not complain we all were surprised and I wanted to know what happened. I left the kitchen and went into the dining room and asked this lady why she was so pleased with everything this evening and I asked her why she did not complain about anything and she replied to me ,almost blushing

"Oh, I am so very sorry I am I not just myself tonight,  I forgot "

We never did hear her complaining ever again..


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## talabadoo

6 oz filet butterflied pitsburged  between rare and medium rare........seriously?


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## joyciel

I had this one customer who always ordered, regardless of how busy it was, an arugula salad WITH THE STEMS PULLED OFF. Then she had the audacity to complains that it takes too long, even on busy saturday nights no less.


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## chef bilby

At rather Hoity toity Restaurant that I worked in the Chef would call in the Order Starting with " *Somage *" and once the order was called the Kitchen would answer at once " *Oi* " , one day one of the waitresses asked us which one of you is named Somage ??


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## vic cardenas

This happened the other day. 

We get an order for a filet mignon. The ticket says... 8oz Filet - Medium - w/ Push. We ask the server. "Uh, WTF is this 'with push'"? She says the customer said that she wanted it cooked medium but make sure and push all the blood out of it. She doesn't want ANY blood. "Ok?" we say and get right on it. After it's cooked we plate it up and the lead says "Make sure and puuuuush it!!!" I push it. Nothing happens. He says "HARDER!" I squish it with my palm and a little blood comes out. He says "No, get all that fuckin blood out!" I do like a CPR push. Pumping it. More blood comes out but we can tell there's more blood inside. He's says "Just smack it good." So I pound down on it with my fist. Blood spatters everywhere! We all bust out laughing. The other cook comes up and gives it another wack. The steak is still intact for the most part, just tenderized. The lead comes up and punches it as with about as hard as he could. Blood flies everywhere and the steak is seriously fucked up and mangled after that punch. I yell out "Oh, shit!" As I see that I'm going to have to start over. I see the bottom exterior of the steak is still mostly intact and I say "Just flip it over and put it back together!" So, I flip it over and bunch it together to resemble a steak again. Surprisingly, it looked like three guys didn't just beat it after I re-assembled and re-plated it. It looked perfect! We all stare at the plate and bust up laughing again at the perfect looking steak and send it out.

Sure enough, the server comes back with a disappointed look on her face after the lady complains. The complaint was...not that it was falling apart and beat up. She wanted it cooked more. She says "She wants it cooked medium still. Just more well done, NOT 'well done'. With less blood." So we say "Uh, like mid-well?" The server leaves to clarify that. She comes back. She says "No, not medium well or well done. She wants Medium. But cooked more and with less blood." We just stare at her with a blank look and jaws dropped. 

Then the server says... "She liked how you guys pushed it, though. It was really tender, she says."


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## mazaradhe

They are getting all the nutrients though.. Chef's must be aware of the needs, how crazy they seem, of our guest's. I can actually see many of those ingredients work on a plate, let alone a sammich that plays well on the "fill me up" tip =)


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## kippers

My wife was a Maitre D  on a cruise ship sailing in the Carib.The main oil feed to the engines fractured then exploded as they were serving desert.The Master ordered all passengers to their muster station. She was asked by a pax if she could take her desert with her.


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## tsper

Working late one night on some decorative work the bellman started laughing like a mad man. When I asked what was up he said" room 432 wants 2 gallons of coffee for enigmas


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## kippers

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif crappercino?


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## foodpump

Me, carving on a buffet line:

"What are you slicing?"

"Smoked salmon, M'am"

"Oh...... Does it taste "fishy"?"

I couldn't bang my forehead on the counter, because the heat lamps were in the way........


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## recky

Customer complains after eating her omelette that the menu didn't explicitly state that it contained "so much egg"...


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## tjsbeer

Had a VERY large man come in and order the same lunch everyday for eight years. 
12 strips of bacon, deep fried on a long roll with extra mayo. 
He died... I feel like a drug dealer of pork.


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## mrmexico25

These are all extremely funny, and I want more...

I have a quite a few too, but one recently that sticks out is, "This gumbo tastes dirty"...

ITS GUMBO.  It's not exactly pristine like a tartar...


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## mrmexico25

And just like having steaks ordered at two different temps, I've recently delt with that with our eggs... There's 2 per breakfast plate so a lady asked, "I want one egg scrambled and one egg frieds..."

AFDSJJGAQW

It's not that difficult, just extremely annoying...


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## shootoo

Thanksgiving this year someone ordered everything on side plates. They got a total of 6 plates lol

That happens on occasion now that I think about it


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## shootoo

And tonight there was an 8 top who ordered all in between steaks. Not hard, just very confusing

Two rare/mid-rare
A mid-rare/medium
Two medium/mid-wells
And 3, count them three, mid-well/well prime ribs

The other person got halibut lol


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## devinsauce

its a boring night at the restaurant around Wednesday so its not really busy and then the order came...1 redwine risotto but without red wine..hmm how am i suppose to do that chef???1 rib eye steak medium rare. and then the plate cameback because the customer said it has blood...haha..me is like ohhkayyy....


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## meezenplaz

Dumping roux in my main sauce like .0005 seconds before Chefboss tells me

3 or 4 hungry guests are gluten intolerant.

I wanted to say "Tell 'em eating is a calculated risk....liiiiike....going to Vegas!" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


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## meezenplaz

Oh yeah another thing: why is it that people think we're gonna be willing to sell 'em a steak,

uncooked, not even a quick-sear, aka RAW, then feel perfectly justified in griping about our

refusal to do so? Oh yeah, like we may as well just put it on the menu:

*"10 oz. uncooked Top Sirloin Lawsuit-Special, $10.95. Comes with*

*Coleslaw, choice of side and all necessary legal forms." *


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## grandmab5560

Do you like the taste of rolled oats plain out of the container?  This is what oat milk tastes like, it's healthy and delicious, kind of like an oatmeal cookie. Yes, this is a rather "wierd" request for a restaurant but it could be worse ... how about fried goat liver on rye bread?   

None of the employees at my restaurant knew where we'd be able to find goat liver. There weren't any goat farms near my restaurant at-the-time.  "That's my problem," the customer sadly stated, "I can't find a restaurant that serves goat liver. Doesn't anyone raise goats anymore?"


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## henry love

She was one in a party of ten, they wanted a la carte. They all ordered except the Lady who would not eat Veal. The others encouraged her to choose something, the waiter encouraged her to choose meat or fish then decide. She asked questions, where did the meat come from, or when was the fish caught, what was in the sauce, who would cook it? The other nine people were beginning to get antsy, wriggling in their chairs, virtually telling her what to have, she was obdurate 'I DO NOT EAT VEAL' she said again and again. She chose.......... And said 'I'll have the Calves Liver, pink mind!'

Did someone in the kitchen make a comment about liver from a silly cow?


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## just jim

"Can I get the special with fettuccine? I'm allergic to penne".

"You're allergic to a shape?"


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## tjsbeer

I had someone literally break down and cry because his linguine was not spaghetti. 
''I can' the eat linguine''. 
''I'm sorry sir, but spaghetti is not on our menu''
''This is unacceptable, I'm never coming back! ''


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## vic cardenas

Steak - Medium - no pink

lol


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## michaelga

?


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## meezenplaz

You gotta be kidding me--allergic to fettuccini but not penne?

Your answer was priceless BTW. lol

When I was in my early teens, I remember a friend staying the night

and telling my mum she was allergic to milk but she could have chocolate milk./img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif

I hate the fact that rather than just a simple request, much of the public

has gotten in the habit of just "playing the allergy card" to get what they

want. And with no sense of the sense or lack of sense of it.

Like the plated sit down, prom dinner, with a buffet serving station,

I was serving chicken (full bone in, drumsticks etc) 2 teen girls, dressed to the nines,

spoke at the same time, one saying "We're vegans" the other saying "we're

vegetarians" when offered the chicken. Oookay, so they look at the pasta and sauces

next to it, one says" that looks good, what is it?"

"That's meat sauce"

"Ooo okay I'll have that"

"Yeah me too" says her friend.

Maybe they just though it was cool to be vegan, but I suspect they played that card

because they were dressed up and country style chicken was too messy?

Understandable to a point, but why not just say no thanks. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif


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## chefwriter

When ever someone played the allergy card I would always ask if they brought their epi-pen with them, letting them know that I take allergies VERY seriously. The true allergists would confirm that they had one, or they would smile understandingly, say no but let me know the kind of reaction they were trying to avoid. The ones who did not know what an epi-pen is were not allergists, just looking for special treatment. By treating the allergy request VERY seriously, while letting them know I would be happy to give them whatever they wanted, they usually learned that a food allergy was not to be taken lightly by anyone.


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## brianshaw

Wow... you guys would really question a guest/customer that way?  What next, a note from the doctor?  I understand your point but really...


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## foodpump

How else are you going to cut down on the B.S.?

I know at my kid's daycare they take peanut allergies very seriously--to the point where every lunch and snack bag is opened and inspected by staff.  Yes, I understand and agree with that policy.

It's jut the B.S.ing I hate.

Where I did my apprenticeship, the train station was about 20 mins away.  The maitre'd was a piece of work,and whenever he'd screw up he'd inform the kitchen that the customer was in a hurry and needed to catch the train in the next 10 mins.  I always called him out on his excuse telling him that even with taxi, it would take 20 mins to get to the train station.  He'd give me a smile that would kill a snake and repeat the same (deleted)  excuse. I hate people like that................


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## mrmexico25

BrianShaw said:


> Wow... you guys would really question a guest/customer that way? What next, a note from the doctor? I understand your point but really...


Im with you. Just because it's annoying dealing with special orders doesn't constitute asking if the customer carries a damn epi pen if they say their allergic to something, even if their not...

To me, that's not even in the ball park of what this thread is about. Stupid orders...

Not stupid servers getting pissed at a customer for no real reason


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## foodpump

Canada is not as bad as the U.S for lawsuits but there are still lawsuits for negligence.  If you have an allergy and clearly state it, it is the restaurant's responsiblity to ensure you don't come into contact with it.  You don't like salmon, fine, but if you make a blanket statement that you are allergic to seafood, there is a lot of information that the server and chef need to possess to ensure the guest's safety.  Did you know that worcestershire is made with anchovies and tamarind?  DId you know that you can get an allergic reaction to (deleted) worcestershire?  

Did you know that milk chocolate contains barley malt extract that is a gluten?

If restauants called azzhat's bluff's more often, then the "allergy abuse" wouldn't be so common.


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## mrmexico25

foodpump said:


> Canada is not as bad as the U.S for lawsuits but there are still lawsuits for negligence. If you have an allergy and clearly state it, it is the restaurant's responsiblity to ensure you don't come into contact with it. You don't like salmon, fine, but if you make a blanket statement that you are allergic to seafood, there is a lot of information that the server and chef need to possess to ensure the guest's safety. Did you know that worcestershire is made with anchovies and tamarind? DId you know that you can get an allergic reaction to (deleted) worcestershire?
> 
> Did you know that milk chocolate contains barley malt extract that is a gluten?
> 
> If restauants called azzhat's bluff's more often, then the "allergy abuse" wouldn't be so common.


I understand, but it's not the server or chefs job to call the customers bluff. They are, after all, paying your paycheck. Do what they ask, regardless of how stupid it seems.


----------



## meezenplaz

"No Epi-pen??"

**snaps fingers**

"*No soup for jou!!" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif*

Well a little off-topic does happen now and again, and seriously some of you guys tend to

take things a bit too literally. I dont think anyone here is actually suggesting

_Raise your hands and show me your epi-pen, _

more like just casual "fishing" to find out if theyre really on the level, or just playing

games. After all, the truth can keep em safe right?


> They are, after all, paying your paycheck. Do what they ask, regardless of how stupid it seems.


Sorry, no can always do. I have a slight allergy to liability suits and an even bigger one to settlements.

Look, I feel we're responsible for the patron's satisfaction sure, but also for their health in

as much as it's within our control. And at times that can mean having to override their own

ignorance with our own experience. Once they disclose an alergy, its up to us to withhold from

them those things we know could harm them, even when they dont. Like worchestershire, even if

they want it, or refusing to sell em a raw steak, even if they beg for it.


----------



## foodpump

Yup..............


----------



## eclair4me

Pastry chef here: had a guest order a chocolate eclair for 25 people. "You would like to order 25 eclairs ma'am?" "No. I want a chocolate eclair large enough to serve 25 people."
Uh......
Moment of silence
Uh......
Photos taken before she picked the sheet pan sized eclair up. 
After 3 years in a row of ordering the tragedy I decided it could ruin our reputation. 
25 beautiful individual eclairs would have a much better presentation that a big piece of brown glazed s*** on a sheet pan. 
Don't ruin a classic!


----------



## mrmexico25

eclair4me said:


> Pastry chef here: had a guest order a chocolate eclair for 25 people. "You would like to order 25 eclairs ma'am?" "No. I want a chocolate eclair large enough to serve 25 people."
> Uh......
> Moment of silence
> Uh......
> Photos taken before she picked the sheet pan sized eclair up.
> After 3 years in a row of ordering the tragedy I decided it could ruin our reputation.
> 25 beautiful individual eclairs would have a much better presentation that a big piece of brown glazed s*** on a sheet pan.
> Don't ruin a classic!


hahaha oh wow... that's just loco...


----------



## meezenplaz

> much better presentation that a big piece of brown glazed s*** on a sheet pan.


 ROTFLMAO! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


----------



## chocolatediva

ROFLMAO! Thanks for that mental visual! What some people want just tickles the s*** out of me!!


----------



## chefrethage

I just got a western omelette plain/no cheese.. come on guys...really?


----------



## berndy

I'll have a *SPANISH OMELETTE*, made with real eggs,the real American way.I never liked the way they make their omelettes over there without any eggs.at all.

They use Yuewhoss instead in all their omelettes.


----------



## mrmexico25

berndy said:


> I'll have a *SPANISH OMELETTE*, made with real eggs,the real American way.I never liked the way they make their omelettes over there without any eggs.at all.
> 
> They use Yuewhoss instead in all their omelettes.


I've had specific requests to make omelets less "eggy"...

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif


----------



## chocolatediva

To eclair4me: hahahahaha...I can just visualize that! Good grief! Sometimes people need "gently" guided to better decisions, I think. They often don't know what they are really asking for (the end result). /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


----------



## patrick spriggs

back in my bistro days, i used to get orders for steaks like - "med rare, no blood"  uhmmm ok bud, lol.


----------



## saltandfat

"Burger- Med rare, 165 degrees."


----------



## newphillychef

i once had a guy order a chicken sandwhich which comes with roasted red peppers arugula and id like to say mozzarella cheese on foacicia bread.but he said hold the chicken smh.. this was years ago but ill never forget that ticket


----------



## mrmexico25

I have a vegetarian regular now days and boy is she confusing...

First, she orders a turkey sandwich on a croissant, but shredded turkey, because she doesn't like thick cut turkey.... but calls her self a vegetarian..

The real kicker is what she ordered for dinner last night.  We had a homemade beef stew as a special and she wanted some, just "without any beef chunks".  I preceded to tell her that it was also made with beef stock knowing she's a vegetarian.  She replied, "I don't care, I just don't want the chunks..."

what.the.hell.

Face palm.


----------



## sergeantpepper

Obligatory hybrid temperatures on steaks. Salt allergies. Split burgers with two different temps. Everything on separate plates. Vegetarian filet mignon.


----------



## vic cardenas

Salt allergies!?


----------



## sergeantpepper

Yup. And a "sugar allergy" which the server reminded/asked about several times. Well there's no added sugar but there is sugar in vegetables etc er uh what? 
And the vegetarian filet to be fair was shoved in a lady's purse to give to somebody else.


----------



## squirrelrj

SergeantPepper said:


> Yup. And a "sugar allergy" which the server reminded/asked about several times. Well there's no added sugar but there is sugar in vegetables etc er uh what?
> And the vegetarian filet to be fair was shoved in a lady's purse to give to somebody else.


That still makes no sense, why wouldn't they just order a filet and take it home with them?


----------



## arronp

foodpump said:


> I know at my kid's daycare they take peanut allergies very seriously--to the point where every lunch and snack bag is opened and inspected by staff. Yes, I understand and agree with that policy.


This isn't a bad idea. I've spent time in an Immunology clinic and we had a few serious reactions. We had one that probably should've killed a guy (bee sting) and one that stopped a 20-something year old breathing. There are always people looking for preferential treatment. You have to be careful though that one time you ignore the ignore the request could be the one time someone's telling the truth.


----------



## sergeantpepper

I don't know Squirrel, people are strange. When I was younger, working at a pizza and pasta joint with an open kitchen, I handed a plain-faced woman her pie after she was rung up. She took it and carried it out of the store vertically, grasped against her chest like an old-timey schoolgirl would carry a textbook.


----------



## squirrelrj

SergeantPepper said:


> I don't know Squirrel, people are strange.


You said it, man!

I run into atleast 4-5 headscratchers a day, just everyday things, not even kitchen stuff.


----------



## will

Well done steak tartare.


----------



## sergeantpepper

Lol. And Will, that reminds me of another one. Pittsburg style filet, mid well.


----------



## chefchadnyc

Actually all of these happened in tonight's service:

Order: Bucatini --- NO SAUCE

Sent out: Bucatini (just the pasta)

*plate was returned - guest still wanted the onion, pancetta, and cheese, just no tomato sauce*

Order: 20oz NY Strip --- Black & Blue

*plate was returned - guest said the center was cold, wanted it hot*

I have to add this section:

These are quotes from my cooks!!

I asked them: 

What is the hottest temperature you can make water? (I was explaining how steam is hotter than water)

Answers:

220?

Really hot

As hot as you want it, chef, I'll just boil it longer


----------



## arronp

Will said:


> Well done steak tartare.


Perhaps he had to go somewhere?


----------



## orex

fra diavolo
no tomatoes...

its a tomato based sauce!!!!


----------



## pollopicu

Day before yesterday...served smoked salmon BLT's for a lady's luncheon. One of the ladies asked.. "is there suppose to be bacon in this sandwich?"


----------



## goodtogo

mid rare osso bucco.


----------



## shanks

We had a guest claim that they were allergic to all fish then order a ceaser salad, when I said that the dressing contained anchovies they got annoyed and said "I eat it all the time, it's fine!".


----------



## mrmexico25

Shanks said:


> We had a guest claim that they were allergic to all fish then order a ceaser salad, when I said that the dressing contained anchovies they got annoyed and said "I eat it all the time, it's fine!".


haha "I'm allergic to all fish, unless it's blended up in a dressing, then I'm ok!"

*face palm


----------



## nick alexander

Someone ordered a portabella bennie and sent it back because they thought it would be salmon

mind=blown


----------



## braising cows

The portion is too small on the all you can eat fish fry, the muffins for the all you can eat buffet are too small.


----------



## sparkie

Got this one tonight..

Server informs me that his customer is vegan and wants a pasta without eggs( all pastas on the menu are house made with eggs). No problem, I keep dry pasta on the shelf. Recommend spaghetti with tomato basil.

Ticket comes in... Lasagna, no meat, no besciamel


----------



## junglist

- Pizza with a pesto sauce, no garlic.

- Customer orders an item made with chicken stock and had eggs in it, but is allergic to chicken.

- 5oz steak portioned onto 4 plates, which was literally 2 slices of steak on each plate... spend some [email protected]#$#@ money people!

- One time helping a customer at the case, she eyed the 'duck w/cherry compote glaze' and wondered if there was extra sauce. Checked in the back and let her know there wasn't any extra compote, and even assuring her extra sauce wasn't necessary, she insisted on it. Walked the entire store looking for anything, but unfortunately couldn't find anything to compliment those flavors. After a grueling 10 minutes I told her, 'sorry ma'am I have to get back to my department'. Another 10 minutes pass, and she comes by the case again. Excited she says, 'I found something' and shows me... a bottle of chinese duck sauce. I literally face palmed myself...


----------



## mazaradhe

Just last night, order for veggie burger, sub beef burger? Same price and set up. Same table ordered a veggie burger, add beef burger. I asked the server to make sure they wanted a beef and veggie burger. Was told yes. Strange peeps.


----------



## chefbuba

Sparkie said:


> Got this one tonight..
> 
> Server informs me that his customer is vegan and wants a pasta without eggs( all pastas on the menu are house made with eggs). No problem, I keep dry pasta on the shelf. Recommend spaghetti with tomato basil.
> 
> Ticket comes in... Lasagna, no meat, no besciamel


Server should have been shown the door for even ringing in something like that.


----------



## aye dumb

Occasionally i will pick up food running shifts, and the other night i ran a few dishes that were all "no salt/no seasoning" only to have them ask me for salt.

Ham sandwich - no ham.


----------



## hozz

I get loads and loads of vegetarians, and each time I have to ask "how vegetarian", because 8/10 (serious here) do either chicken or fish but just don't like beef. Most "vegetarians" I get do enjoy one or the other, and, as such, are NOT vegetarians, only they do not enjoy beef or chicken or whatever. Well then, my dear, you are not a vegetarian and should stop labelling yourself as such. shut the F up. I actually love doing proper veggie dishes (when I have the time), but people spouting vegetarianism or even allergies just to circumvent a point on a menu piss me off. Be real people.


----------



## wpgcook

Totally agree, Hoss. It's funny how flexible a vegetarian can become when they see what their partners or the people at the other tables are eating. The "no fish" and "no meat" vegetarians that frequent my restaurant always order Caesar salads - I guess anchovies don't count as fish. Then they usually asked for grilled chicken breast on the side. (happened yesterday).

The worst order I received was from a local city official who ordered the same thing everyday. Beef tenderloin/very well done/no juice. That meant bone-dry. Any moisture from the steak and back to the kitchen it went. It took a good half hour to cook to her liking and we'd have to pat it dry so nothing was under it on the plate. It was so sad to see such a fine piece of meat turned into shoe leather but that's exactly how she wanted it. She ate the same thing five days a week.


----------



## hamlrt

Hi there , most stupid order.......
Burns night ( after Robbie Burns the famous Scotsman ) , its a meat extravaganza Smoked salmon starter , Haggis ( ground meats and suchlike served inside a sheepskin stomach ..more tasty than it sounds) , Beef Wellington , and the veg and dessert .....get some dumb vegetarian turn up and ask for vegetarian haggis along with a long list of vegetables and salad items she doesn't eat.....go figure
Another class request 
German Oktoberfest ( I worked in germany for some time) , it's all meat there are no vegetables ....roast chicken , bratwurst , cevappicci ( small spicy sausage) , roast ham , blutwurst ( blood sausage) , meatloaf served with mashed potato ( stampkartoffel) and sauerkraut , with pretzels and lots of beer .....damned vegetarians again isn't there anything vegetarian .....how about a salad .....ect ect ect 
Depressing really


----------



## the apostate

hamlrt said:


> Hi there , most stupid order.......
> Burns night ( after Robbie Burns the famous Scotsman ) , its a meat extravaganza Smoked salmon starter , Haggis ( ground meats and suchlike served inside a sheepskin stomach ..more tasty than it sounds) , Beef Wellington , and the veg and dessert .....get some dumb vegetarian turn up and ask for vegetarian haggis along with a long list of vegetables and salad items she doesn't eat.....go figure
> Another class request
> German Oktoberfest ( I worked in germany for some time) , it's all meat there are no vegetables ....roast chicken , bratwurst , cevappicci ( small spicy sausage) , roast ham , blutwurst ( blood sausage) , meatloaf served with mashed potato ( stampkartoffel) and sauerkraut , with pretzels and lots of beer .....damned vegetarians again isn't there anything vegetarian .....how about a salad .....ect ect ect
> Depressing really


And is it just me or does this kind of behavior seem to be almost exclusive to american vegetarians?

I have had multiple occasions where after preparing and serving a banquet I notice that the indian/pakistani couple over in the corner (that the host never told me about, or made accommodations for) have simply eaten their veg and starch and left the protein untouched. When I ask them if there is anything else i can get for them they typically just smile and say no and then take great pains to assure me that everything was wonderful.

Contrast that behavior to the ill-informed histrionics of the self-educated suburban teenage diet experts (oh my god, starch is, totally like poison, it will give you celiacs, it said so in last months 'seventeen'!) and their mothers shrill lemming like pursuit of whatever fad diet Dr. Oz has them scurrying after.

Just have to shake my head sometimes.


----------



## chocolatediva

hamlrt said:


> Hi there , most stupid order.......
> Burns night ( after Robbie Burns the famous Scotsman ) , its a meat extravaganza Smoked salmon starter , Haggis ( ground meats and suchlike served inside a sheepskin stomach ..more tasty than it sounds) , Beef Wellington , and the veg and dessert .....get some dumb vegetarian turn up and ask for vegetarian haggis along with a long list of vegetables and salad items she doesn't eat.....go figure
> Another class request
> German Oktoberfest ( I worked in germany for some time) , it's all meat there are no vegetables ....roast chicken , bratwurst , cevappicci ( small spicy sausage) , roast ham , blutwurst ( blood sausage) , meatloaf served with mashed potato ( stampkartoffel) and sauerkraut , with pretzels and lots of beer .....damned vegetarians again isn't there anything vegetarian .....how about a salad .....ect ect ect
> Depressing really


I would have suggested mashed, sauerkraut and a salad.


----------



## locomoco

"I want the Ribeye very, very well done, but still very tender".

The other day I got a ticket that read:

1.  Cheese Plate

       (no dairy)


----------



## cakeface

blackforest.jpg




__
cakeface


__
Feb 14, 2013








Customer insisted she wanted this cake (individual black forest) served warm, waitress explained it contained chocolate mousse and kirsch cream, encased in milk chocolate - and it would be destroyed if heated. I refused!


----------



## paul alfred

I've had a lady come in every evening for almost a week now and order an organic house salad with sauteed mushrooms on top.  I asked the server if she (the guest) really wanted HOT mushrooms on her salad as it would wilt the lettuce, and the server insisted that indeed, the lady had asked for hot sauteed mushrooms on her salad.  I groaned and shook my head, but made the salad as requested.  Apparently she likes it though, as she's ordered one every night for five nights in a row.  At least I'm keeping her happy and she's not being (quite) as picky about her vegetarian entrees.


----------



## mrmexico25

Paul Alfred said:


> I've had a lady come in every evening for almost a week now and order an organic house salad with sauteed mushrooms on top. I asked the server if she (the guest) really wanted HOT mushrooms on her salad as it would wilt the lettuce, and the server insisted that indeed, the lady had asked for hot sauteed mushrooms on her salad. I groaned and shook my head, but made the salad as requested. Apparently she likes it though, as she's ordered one every night for five nights in a row. At least I'm keeping her happy and she's not being (quite) as picky about her vegetarian entrees.


hmm I don't see why this is that bad... We've run specials of wilted spinach salad before with warm bacon grease as a part of the vinaigrette and it's delicious.

I too have also served our chicken chef salads with sauteed onions and mushrooms on top (just a regular romaine salad), and I thought it looked delicious. Kinda sloppy but still looked good to me...


----------



## chocolatediva

cakeface said:


> blackforest.jpg
> 
> 
> 
> 
> __
> cakeface
> 
> 
> __
> Feb 14, 2013
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Customer insisted she wanted this cake (individual black forest) served warm, waitress explained it contained chocolate mousse and kirsch cream, encased in milk chocolate - and it would be destroyed if heated. I refused!


OMG...where are people's brains! (don't answer that!!)


----------



## chocolatediva

berndy said:


> I once had a guy ordering a tomato paste and sliced raw onion sandwich on white.
> He did enjoy his sandwich and came back the next day for another one.:roll:


It may sound strange, but for myself, having gone through chemotherapy for cancer, I know that it effected my taste buds. Sometimes it takes a stronger taste for me to get a good sense of what I want, especially things like tomato, onion, garlic, etc. Could be that you provided him with food he could get a good taste from! (just a suggestion) I would have questioned this guy's taste in the past, but now I understand some of the strange requests. But some are just too ponkers for words!!!


----------



## chocolatediva

ChocolateDiva said:


> It may sound strange, but for myself, having gone through chemotherapy for cancer, I know that it effected my taste buds. Sometimes it takes a stronger taste for me to get a good sense of what I want, especially things like tomato, onion, garlic, etc. Could be that you provided him with food he could get a good taste from! (just a suggestion) I would have questioned this guy's taste in the past, but now I understand some of the strange requests. But some are just too ponkers for words!!!


Sorry...meant to say "bonkers for words". Just got up.......


----------



## aye dumb

Paul Alfred said:


> I've had a lady come in every evening for almost a week now and order an organic house salad with sauteed mushrooms on top. I asked the server if she (the guest) really wanted HOT mushrooms on her salad as it would wilt the lettuce, and the server insisted that indeed, the lady had asked for hot sauteed mushrooms on her salad. I groaned and shook my head, but made the salad as requested. Apparently she likes it though, as she's ordered one every night for five nights in a row. At least I'm keeping her happy and she's not being (quite) as picky about her vegetarian entrees.


yeah, we have had a few salads that had hot component or two, duck or pork belly confet, bacon lardons, grilled mushrooms, one with a poached egg on top. it seems to help if you use something that isn't as leafy like frisee.


----------



## aye dumb

these tickets don't come in (yet) but we have a pretty friendly relationship between front/back of house and the bar, and the evil child inside of me longs to change the wording on some of the pos buttons. things like "smoked loin" to "smoked lion" or "well done" to "ruin it" on the steak. and a "keep standing around" button for when we are slow and have like 2 tickets on the board.


----------



## doomkitty

Bowl of chips, with gluten free aioli. *facepalm*
He emphasised the need for it to be gluten free twice while I just shook my head in amazement.

Or the woman that wanted no pesto on her plate (it was garnish) as she was supposedly highly allergic to nuts, then I find out from one of the waitresses that she had been munching back on macarons, after the waitress told her there was almonds in them she insisted it was fine, she eats them all the time..... Some people haha!


----------



## david swartz jr

Lots of snowbirds are in town now. It's the time of year we get some pretty odd orders. We got a chuckle yesterday at lunchtime when one ticket read:

--------------------------------

1 BLT Sandwich

- NO BACON

1 Blackened Fish Salad

- NO SPICE ON FISH

---------------------------------

We figured out the BLT No Bacon, but were flummoxed at how to blacken a fish fillet without any seasoning.


----------



## mrmexico25

David Swartz Jr said:


> Lots of snowbirds are in town now. It's the time of year we get some pretty odd orders. We got a chuckle yesterday at lunchtime when one ticket read:
> 
> --------------------------------
> 
> 1 BLT Sandwich
> 
> - NO BACON
> 
> 1 Blackened Fish Salad
> 
> - NO SPICE ON FISH
> 
> ---------------------------------
> 
> We figured out the BLT No Bacon, but were flummoxed at how to blacken a fish fillet without any seasoning.


DOH! haha the fish one is priceless


----------



## mrmexico25

Maybe they meant burnt haha


----------



## burntsugar

Waiter tells the specials"Mahi-mahi, Filet Mignon" With  straight face cusomer says he doesn't eat "fish"!


----------



## kuan

I ordered a cheese pizza without cheese on Saturday.  I did not bring any lactaid so I couldn't eat dairy.  Cheese is normally OK if it's cultured but I had no idea what these folks were going to be putting on my pizza so I decided not to take a chance.

There was no other way to ring it up except for Blanco NO CHZ.  It must have looked funny to the people making it.


----------



## locomoco

I have always wanted to change "Well Done" to "Dead Meat"


----------



## david swartz jr

We received an order just a while ago that prompted me to resurrect this thread. We're a pub known for really good, 8oz burgers. You know they take some time to cook.

A lady came in, stating, "I'm diabetic and I need to eat as soon as possible. I need a burger, right away. And I'd like it Well Done."


----------



## michaelga

David Swartz Jr said:


> We received an order just a while ago that prompted me to resurrect this thread. We're a pub known for really good, 8oz burgers. You know they take some time to cook.
> 
> A lady came in, stating, "I'm diabetic and I need to eat as soon as possible. I need a burger, right away. And I'd like it Well Done."


Nice one.... point her to the nearest McD's?


----------



## jasonbourne

I had to take an order for busty chicken some days ago. I really do not know what he actually meant but what I heard is exactly this. I just fell on the floor laughing when I reached back at the kitchen. This is why I love this job.


----------



## cacioepepe

Raw Vday 06_6.JPG




__
cacioepepe


__
Jun 25, 2013


----------



## twyst

cacioEpepe said:


> Raw Vday 06_6.JPG
> 
> 
> 
> 
> __
> cacioepepe
> 
> 
> __
> Jun 25, 2013


Do you grind all your meat in house? If not I'd have probably politely declined to make that ticket.


----------



## cacioepepe

Twyst said:


> Do you grind all your meat in house? If not I'd have probably politely declined to make that ticket.


We did grind in house. This was so long ago that I definitely had no authority to what was leaving the kitchen or not. I was just a lowly fish cook back in 2006 /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


----------



## skipstrr

to the burger, I'd honestly say the kitchen can't do that(as a server always blame kitchen!), as for the salad, I'd of asked if they'd like some other dressing or perhaps oil & vinegar!


----------



## skipstrr

chadateit said:


> I did a quick search and didn't see a thread on this, so please forgive me if it's been done.
> 
> I thought this subject might be pretty funny...
> 
> I'm sure I could come up with quite a few, but two stand out in my mind...
> 
> Ridiculously busy kitchen, in the middle of dinner service (super fine dining, but with a bar that also could do 150+ for dinner out of the same kitchen at the same time). The bar puts an order for a burger, split, with two different temps - What server would take this order? I think the server was lucky it was an open kitchen, as the chef on the line may otherwise have actually gotten physically violent.
> 
> My personal favorite was a banquet order for a Caesar's salad (for a party of about 100 people) that, 20 minutes before plating, was updated saying that the Caesar dressing couldn't have anchovies, garlic, or egg. What do you even say to that?


would of just said "no" to the burger...and the salad, they need to choose some other dressing or vinegar & oil...eww on romaine? bon appetit'!


----------



## skipstrr

billpitcher said:


> Wow, thanks for warm welcome.
> 
> I didn't mean that everyone does it. Im just amused on a regular basis by a very small handful of depression-era summer regulars at our conference center who grew up on canned vegetables and care not at all that we now serve local, fresh vegetables, not canned carrots, in our buffet or banquet setting during the prime season.
> 
> They regularly take me aside to tell me they would prefer overlooked broccoli, soft green beans, mashed potatoes instead of roasted, etc. I was asked why we don't serve "regular bread" in a bread basket that rotates like 12 things during the summer. I have been asked to rinse lasagna in the sink. And yes, I have been told my lettuce is too crunchy.
> 
> I could dumb everything down, gearing my 500 plates a day to the lowest common denominator, serving canned spinach on Wonder Bread. Or I could do what we have been doing and continue to add 15 percent more guests a year. The mushy vegetable club will be here either way.
> 
> But hey, thanks for the tip.


awesome rebutal!!!


----------



## skipstrr

omg...after working a line for years, and back in different restaurant as server, would always address our chef when he would bark out orders.."YES CHEF"...the sous say's to him, hey he knows your name is Tim so why does he keep calling you "Jeff"? LOL


----------



## skipstrr

Chef Bilby said:


> At rather Hoity toity Restaurant that I worked in the Chef would call in the Order Starting with " *Somage *" and once the order was called the Kitchen would answer at once " *Oi* " , one day one of the waitresses asked us which one of you is named Somag


----------



## skipstrr

Chef Bilby said:


> At rather Hoity toity Restaurant that I worked in the Chef would call in the Order Starting with " *Somage *" and once the order was called the Kitchen would answer at once " *Oi* " , one day one of the waitresses asked us which one of you is named Somage ??


I had always answered our chef when he would bark out commands as "YES CHEF"..the sous turns ands says"...yo, he know's your name is Tim right?..so why does he keep calling you Jeff?"


----------



## skipstrr

BrianShaw said:


> Wow... you guys would really question a guest/customer that way? What next, a note from the doctor? I understand your point but really...


Oh yea, and I also understand that you apparently never worked with the public! And a doctor's note would be great if it was valid/sidebar.


----------



## skipstrr

BrianShaw said:


> Wow... you guys would really question a guest/customer that way? What next, a note from the doctor? I understand your point but really...


Apparently you have never waited tables or worked with the general public so this may be the right forum for you "home cooks"


----------



## rhapdog

BrianShaw said:


> Wow... you guys would really question a guest/customer that way? What next, a note from the doctor? I understand your point but really...


You know, as someone who has served tables, been a chef (currently retired), and been the diner who had the food allergies, I can tell you I was never once offended when a server asked me more detailed questions about my allergies. As a matter of fact, I have been asked if I had my Epi-pen, to which I replied, yes. This was followed by the server getting more details about my allergies. I was not offended, but rather comforted that the server was taking my allergies seriously, since I have been in the hospital ER too many times because a server did not take it seriously or assumed I didn't have a real allergies.

I applaud the effort, and it is those who use allergies as an excuse and don't really have them are the ones that get my dander up. I imagine the only ones who might be offended are those haughty individuals who would lie about having allergies in the first place. Perhaps that's why that point upset you?

When I state I have an allergy to nuts, and the server responds by asking, "Is that to tree nuts or peanuts?", I am pleased. It lets me know they are aware of what they are doing, because they have the knowledge to know there is a difference. Allergies to tree nuts and peanuts are two different allergies. I happen to have been, in the past, had anaphylactic reactions to both that required hospitalization.

Allergies are serious business and people can die. Servers and chefs do have the responsibility, and patrons that disrepect that responsibility by faking it so casually do us all harm, because it can cause servers and chefs not to take it as seriously. Case in point: I asked if a particular dessert at a restaurant contained nuts. The server went back to the kitchen to ask, and returned stating she asked the chef and the chef said that it contained no nuts. I later found out the chef thought I was faking it, through a deposition the chef had to give when the restaurant had to pay my expenses for a 2 day hospital stay because of the nuts. I had to be intubated and my heart had to be restarted twice. This is all because so many people were "faking" allergies, which were made apparent by their alternative menu choices.

Sorry for the long post, but that is a pretty sensitive issue for me, personally. A good server should always be able to come up with ways to word things.

Also, some people will say "allergy" when they mean "intolerance." These are different. Some people will say they have a dairy allergy, when it is really a lactose intolerance. "Allergy" and "Intolerance" are not the same at all.


----------



## michaelga

rhapdog said:


> You know, as someone who has served tables, been a chef (currently retired), and been the diner who had the food allergies, I can tell you I was never once offended when a server asked me more detailed questions about my allergies. As a matter of fact, I have been asked if I had my Epi-pen, to which I replied, yes. This was followed by the server getting more details about my allergies. I was not offended, but rather comforted that the server was taking my allergies seriously, since I have been in the hospital ER too many times because a server did not take it seriously or assumed I didn't have a real allergies.
> 
> I applaud the effort, and it is those who use allergies as an excuse and don't really have them are the ones that get my dander up. I imagine the only ones who might be offended are those haughty individuals who would lie about having allergies in the first place. Perhaps that's why that point upset you?
> 
> When I state I have an allergy to nuts, and the server responds by asking, "Is that to tree nuts or peanuts?", I am pleased. It lets me know they are aware of what they are doing, because they have the knowledge to know there is a difference. Allergies to tree nuts and peanuts are two different allergies. I happen to have been, in the past, had anaphylactic reactions to both that required hospitalization.
> 
> Allergies are serious business and people can die. Servers and chefs do have the responsibility, and patrons that disrepect that responsibility by faking it so casually do us all harm, because it can cause servers and chefs not to take it as seriously. Case in point: I asked if a particular dessert at a restaurant contained nuts. The server went back to the kitchen to ask, and returned stating she asked the chef and the chef said that it contained no nuts. I later found out the chef thought I was faking it, through a deposition the chef had to give when the restaurant had to pay my expenses for a 2 day hospital stay because of the nuts. I had to be intubated and my heart had to be restarted twice. This is all because so many people were "faking" allergies, which were made apparent by their alternative menu choices.
> 
> Sorry for the long post, but that is a pretty sensitive issue for me, personally. A good server should always be able to come up with ways to word things.
> 
> Also, some people will say "allergy" when they mean "intolerance." These are different. Some people will say they have a dairy allergy, when it is really a lactose intolerance. "Allergy" and "Intolerance" are not the same at all.


Well said - thanks for putting some good information into this thread... it has kinda been going down hill as of late.

>> skipstrr <<

(i'm looking at you)


----------



## chefmannydlm

OK, my best story was when I was working at an Irish Pub.  We had a dish called "Panchodillas", basically grilled chicken quesadillas with sauteed onions and peppers.  One day when service was winding down we get an order for Panchodillas with the special request on the ticket that they be "Burning ass caliente".  Well, with a kitchen full of Mexicans, myself included, we took this as a personal challenge.  We made the Panchodillas as normal but we added everything that we could find in the kitchen that was spicy to them.  This included, fresh jalapenos, pickled jalapenos, peperochinis, siracha, Tabasco sauce, and some old habaner hot sauce we found in the spice area.  After the order was sent out I poked my head out to keep an eye out for whoever order it.  As it turned out, it was some dumb college kid trying to show off to his friends.  I saw his face when he ate it and it was CLASSIC!  He never sent it back or complained, probably because he did not want to look like a jackass in front of his buddies.


----------



## cacioepepe

View media item 82389


----------



## rhapdog

Seeing that receipt with an order for chilled shrimp with a note concerning a shellfish allergy makes me think it is time to work with state legislators around the country, and lobby to have laws enacted to where if a customer says they are allergic to something, the server will be unable to legally take an order for anything that contains the allergen after learning of the allergy.  When customers find out they will no longer be able to order what they want ANYWHERE because it is law, they'll stop using the excuse.

Also, in the bill, it should be stipulated that claiming false allergies is a crime and punishable by law.  That way, patrons will be slow to get too pushy about it.

Yes, in the first few months, a few patrons will leave a restaurant mad to go somewhere else, but when they realize it is everywhere, they'll stop lying like the trash they are.

In the meantime, the new laws could save lives by forcing servers and chefs to take it more seriously, and when customers see how serious restaurants are, they'd stop being so flippant about claiming allergies if they don't have them.

Of course, you'll still have the idiot saying they are a vegan and ordering chicken or fish.


----------



## brianshaw

rhapdog said:


> You know, as someone who has served tables, been a chef (currently retired), and been the diner who had the food allergies,...
> 
> Perhaps that's why that point upset you?
> 
> ... A good server should always be able to come up with ways to word things.
> 
> Also, some people will say "allergy" when they mean "intolerance." These are different. Some people will say they have a dairy allergy, when it is really a lactose intolerance. "Allergy" and "Intolerance" are not the same at all.


Re: Skipster... yes, I've been there serving and cooking professionally. For the past many years I cook at home because I got a much better job years ago.  I changed my identity to "Home Cook" a while ago because someone (who I agreed with) took offense that my professional status was both brief (5 years) and so long ago (almost 40).

rhapdog... I have intolerances and my child has real allergies that could be life threatening. All of what you said (quoted above and some that I cut out) I totally agree with. But to answer the question: what I'm upset about are the folks in this thread (whether they be servers, cooks or chefs) that treat either of these issues as something to mock and self-evaluate before honoring a special request. Like you, I welcome the conversation with waiter/chef when the need to talk about special requests happens but I really don't want a waiter of chef pretending to be a doctor or judge and questioning the validity. Sure, some folks will lie, and others will be mistaken in how they speak. I'm upset about the lack of professionalism and courtesy. That's all.


----------



## chocolatediva

Yup...pretty much says it all!!


----------



## chefedb

At a wedding on Banquet Kitchen order sheet   "NO MSG in food or the groom will die''   (hope bride has a standby)


----------



## geo87

Waw, just spent way too long reading that whole thread . Some priceless stuff there, could barley contain myself with the steak with push one. Off the top of my head all I can think of to contribute is :
club sandwhich - no bread. would they like g.f bread? No , perhaps a salad? No. club sandwhich ingredients only, on a plate 
Burger - no meat, no salad just bun, sauce , fries 
Salad - no seasoning , no dressing , no ingredients literally just baby spinach in a bowl. --- pop eye maybe?? 
One customer asked for a side of tabasco sauce, the side wasn't enough , ordered another , not enough, asked for the bottle, sure why not.... Came back empty....

Off topic, spent way too much time recently making an extravagant dessert for a vegan at a banquet . Over the top time consuming stuff. By the time it gets to them they don't want it as they have devoured the lemon merengue pie as it looked sooo good ..... This happens Alot with dietary requirements suddenly disappearing on site of something visually appealing.... Sigh

Don't get me wrong I really respect people with dietary requirements, absolutely respect allergies and will go out of my way to make these people happy. But people who change their minds about their dietary requirement.... Seriously, f u !


----------



## vic cardenas

geo87 said:


> could barley contain myself with the steak with push one.


Glad you enjoyed it sir!


----------



## kweedon

My personal favorite is the order fo a NY strip steak cooked rare but they want it burned on the outside.


----------



## lagom

kweedon said:


> My personal favorite is the order fo a NY strip steak cooked rare but they want it burned on the outside.


Thats actully called Pittsburgh rare. I cooked many a steak that way in the states. Easiest done with an extreemly hot grille.


----------



## cheflayne

Lagom said:


> Thats actully called Pittsburgh rare. I cooked many a steak that way in the states. Easiest done with an extreemly hot grille.


Also have heard them called black and blue.


----------



## chef bilby

cheflayne said:


> Also have heard them called black and blue.


+1 for a black blue , absolute b*stards !!

I had a lady order an omelette the other day no milk as she was allergic to milk , could you make sure the chef uses cream /img/vbsmilies/smilies/crazy.gif


----------



## chefedb

This is common and it is called Black and Blue char burned outside rare inside


----------



## chocolatediva

Chef Bilby said:


> +1 for a black blue , absolute b*stards !!
> 
> I had a lady order an omelette the other day no milk as she was allergic to milk , could you make sure the chef uses cream :crazy:


"BONK" (Gibbs head slap...see NCIS)


----------



## mrmexico25

chefedb said:


> This is common and it is called Black and Blue char burned outside rare inside


we do a play on the traditional "black and blue" and do the same thing, yet mely blue cheese crumbles on the steak after searing. mmmm.....


----------



## abuchef

guys, you don't know anything about supernatural order that we are facing daily here

Today's one:

Fettuccine Alfredo, no fettuccine use penne with spicy tomato sauce only

By the way we have penne Arrabitta in the menu just above the Alfredo in the menu

Chers


----------



## chefedb

Sorry.Chef  then its not fettuccini  Alfredo its penne with tomato sauce.


----------



## chefedb

Some of our guest will not mix dairy and meat due to dietary law


----------



## mrmexico25

Had a returned steak the other night.  She ordered the Black and Blue (seared with cajun spices, melted blue cheese crumbles), rare.  Returned it with all the blue cheese scraped off, and said it was under cooked.  She didn't order it medium rare, she ordered it rare.  Some people really just don't know what they want, or like.


----------



## left4bread

Abuchef said:


> guys, you don't know anything about supernatural order that we are facing daily here
> 
> Today's one:
> 
> Fettuccine Alfredo, no fettuccine use penne with spicy tomato sauce only
> 
> By the way we have penne Arrabitta in the menu just above the Alfredo in the menu
> 
> Chers





chefedb said:


> Sorry.Chef then its not fettuccini Alfredo its penne with tomato sauce.


Ok. Um, could I have the Alfredo and spicy penne sauce? With noodles? NVM. Too confusing. Bottomless breadsticks at Olive Garden.

Is "bottomless" a euphemism for diarhea?

Because it should be.

EDIT: Sorry. Didn't notice the time stamps.


----------



## scofield143

Beef Hamburger

Special Prep:

"No burger, no onions, no tomato, no egg, no bacon, no pickles, no fries, no anything, *Just buns*."

Seriously? I might as well give you a clean, empty, sparkling plate. Ridiculous!


----------



## passthegravy

Reply to the 2nd post (forgot to quote):

"I once had a guy ordering a tomato paste and sliced raw onion sandwich on white.

He did enjoy his sandwich and came back the next day for another one."

I eat that, only I add bacon, lettuce & tomato...


----------



## kaiquekuisine

Vic Cardenas said:


> This happened the other day.
> 
> We get an order for a filet mignon. The ticket says... 8oz Filet - Medium - w/ Push. We ask the server. "Uh, WTF is this 'with push'"? She says the customer said that she wanted it cooked medium but make sure and push all the blood out of it. She doesn't want ANY blood. "Ok?" we say and get right on it. After it's cooked we plate it up and the lead says "Make sure and puuuuush it!!!" I push it. Nothing happens. He says "HARDER!" I squish it with my palm and a little blood comes out. He says "No, get all that fuckin blood out!" I do like a CPR push. Pumping it. More blood comes out but we can tell there's more blood inside. He's says "Just smack it good." So I pound down on it with my fist. Blood spatters everywhere! We all bust out laughing. The other cook comes up and gives it another wack. The steak is still intact for the most part, just tenderized. The lead comes up and punches it as with about as hard as he could. Blood flies everywhere and the steak is seriously fucked up and mangled after that punch. I yell out "Oh, shit!" As I see that I'm going to have to start over. I see the bottom exterior of the steak is still mostly intact and I say "Just flip it over and put it back together!" So, I flip it over and bunch it together to resemble a steak again. Surprisingly, it looked like three guys didn't just beat it after I re-assembled and re-plated it. It looked perfect! We all stare at the plate and bust up laughing again at the perfect looking steak and send it out.
> 
> Sure enough, the server comes back with a disappointed look on her face after the lady complains. The complaint was...not that it was falling apart and beat up. She wanted it cooked more. She says "She wants it cooked medium still. Just more well done, NOT 'well done'. With less blood." So we say "Uh, like mid-well?" The server leaves to clarify that. She comes back. She says "No, not medium well or well done. She wants Medium. But cooked more and with less blood." We just stare at her with a blank look and jaws dropped.
> 
> Then the server says... "She liked how you guys pushed it, though. It was really tender, she says."


I know this is an old post, but Vic read this late at night, and laughed so hard.

Just visualizing this made me wish i was there /img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif.


----------



## kaiquekuisine

Women orders a traditional risotto

Sends it back because it is _too al dente _/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif.

Or the women that wanted Spaghetti with Mussurela de Buffala , and grape tomatoes with basil.

But she wanted the tomatoes sauteed and the cheese melted and grated on top...(they are usually both uncooked as the pasta is quickly sauteed with cold tomatoes and cheese)

The cheese were in spheres with a diameter of 3cm....

The line cook just added it to the hot sauteed tomatoes in the pan... cheese melted and glued together forming a glob.

Cook takes its out of the pan , stretches it out and roughly chops it, places it on top stained red from the tomatoes juices.... apperently she loved the melted cheese <_<. Even though it stood on the pass till cooled...


----------



## r6zack

cheflayne said:


> Also have heard them called black and blue.


I only ask this for my own personal clarification; aren't blue steaks and pittsburgh different? At least in the area I'm in, when someone orders it blue, you pretty much only put marks on the steak. A pittsburgh (as I've been instructed to cook it) is extremely, extremely rare... but you char the @&#% out of the outside, best accomplished by broilers, or super high temp grills.


----------



## thenewsous

the chit came up 

vegan pancakes

 - white

 -sasuage

i did a double take


----------



## kuan

Maybe they mean also vegan sausage.


----------



## cheflayne

R6Zack said:


> I only ask this for my own personal clarification; aren't blue steaks and pittsburgh different? At least in the area I'm in, when someone orders it blue, you pretty much only put marks on the steak. A pittsburgh (as I've been instructed to cook it) is extremely, extremely rare... but you char the @&#% out of the outside, best accomplished by broilers, or super high temp grills.


Wouldn't you say that your that your description of a pittsburgh is a steak that is black on the outside but blue in the center, hence the name black and blue?


----------



## r6zack

cheflayne said:


> Wouldn't you say that your that your description of a pittsburgh is a steak that is black on the outside but blue in the center, hence the name black and blue?


Oh I totally agree, which is why I'm glad this terminology came up. Pick a name and stick to it lol.

One of the dumbest tickets we get (semi regularly) is someone claiming to be a strict vegetarian and ordering our flatbread. We always have to remind the servers, "Hey we can take the meat off but our sauce has beef base in it, they may want to pick something else." The server will come back a few minutes later.. "She said as long as there was no meat on the flat bread, she wasn't worried about the sauce"


----------



## thenewsous

we don't carry vegan sausage so i asked the FOH and yep that's what they wanted


----------



## jreid

12 oz NY steak, butterflied, rare, with mashed potatoes no dairy


----------



## r6zack

Jreid said:


> 12 oz NY steak, butterflied, rare, with mashed potatoes no dairy


Haha, this past Christmas season I got an order for a Ribeye med well butterfly lol. We have 12oz ribeye as well. I was actually tempted to try it, just to see if we had a plate big enough to hold it.


----------



## paigecake

LOVED reading these!

I had a woman nearly brought to tears and anxiety-ridden after she viewed the pasta special dish (that SHE ordered) when brought to her table.

She placed her head in her hands and kept repeating "Oh no... I can't eat that.....I won't eat that....Oh no...I can't..."

The husband finally looks at me: "She won't eat that,"

I ask: "Ummmmm WHY?"

The husband replies; "It has lines on it." (She had ordered a rigatoni special)

YOU try bringing that back into the kitchen with that excuse, and expect a chef to cook something else, hahahaha

Another woman ordered an omelet and pulled a tin-foil wrapped package out of her purse:

".......and I need THIS cheese in my omelet. The Dr. says I can have it."

Another woman refusing to even taste her soup because "It looks cold".

A man asked if we could make Chicken Marsala without the Marsala because he was a Jehovah's Witness and not allowed to have alcohol.

*sigh*

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif


----------



## phaedrus

I have gotten a good chuckle out of some of these!  I've had some pretty weird requests over the years, too.  But I do try my best to accommodate a request no matter how bizarre.


----------



## cheflayne

Phaedrus said:


> But I do try my best to accommodate a request no matter how bizarre.


Ditto this. Totally agree with Phaedrus.

Not only that, but I don't have to eat the food. I just have to take the money to the bank. Something that I find easy to comply with.


----------



## alan mackay

I have worked both in the kitchen and front of house and the one I remember the most is when standing at the podium and being asked hello have you any tables yes I reply we have 72 all with chairs to match


----------



## ice chef

I once a had a customer order a prime rib dinner. He wanted his rib rare and  bake potato's the veggie and sense it was a special we was also serving a creme brûlée  all added to a blender and puree.


----------



## otto

On a flight from NYC to Madrid, some woman ordered diet water....


----------



## olech56

I work a LOT of Sunday brunches.  My favorite requests have been the sunny-side down eggs, the gluten-free fried chicken and french toast right after New Years, and the french toast with an egg allergy.  People are awesome.


----------



## phaedrus

Sometimes my brain fritzes and I think it's a special order when it's not. A couple weeks ago we were really getting slammed; I grabbed a ticket for a steak salad (small sirloin steak broiled to spec and sent down to garde manger to top a salad). I read "this side of blue" on the ticket so I sear it on the hottest spot I could and cooked the chill out of it. The server looked at it a couple times and said, "uh, I need this medium". I told them that just this side of blue is gonna be pretty rare. He said, "No, I need a side of blue [cheese dressing]". I said _oh, I guess it makes more sense that way_./img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


----------



## ganja

Id like an american and swiss cheese omelet, keep it soupy !/img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif


----------



## ganja

sometimes I think we should put a temperature"meter" on the menu so ppl know what to order! No one seems to think, for example, that ur medium is the same as thiers. Or medium-rare, etc.


----------



## redbeerd cantu

"Can you please make sure that the chicken is well-done? I don't like my chicken bloody..."


----------



## billpitcher

Our conference center had a special-diet guest -- presumably because of an eating disorder -- who had a list of approved foods -- nonfat Greek yogurt, nonfat cottage cheese. One of them was "original" Boca burgers.

So while everyone else had pulled pork, we prepared a Boca burger for her. She insisted on seeing the box, and then rejected her meal because "it's not vegan."

So of course for lunch, she ate cottage cheese and yogurt.


----------



## vagabond

Had an offsite catering the other day. We have a mobile wood-fired pizza oven and cook on site. After first round, had a guest come up to me and ask "Do you have any pizza without carbs? 

Holding back my laughter....
I simply said "No Ma'am"

She looks puzzled, "you don't do that?" 

I said "No Ma'am"

Still puzzled, she says she's "allergic". I look down at her plate(in hand) and their are 4 crusts sitting on her plate. 

I point out the salad in front of her and offer to throw on some of the pizza toppings.

She says no and grabs another slice.....




On another event host asked if we did Gluten Free, I kindly explained that we did not, and would understand if she wanted to go with someone else. She, booked the party anyway.

I arrive on site and she has 20 store bought gluten free raw pizza doughs waiting. I'm LIVID, but she's already paid, in full, and tipped really well, so what the hell, let's try this! Read the package and it says bake at 350dF for 20-30 min. I try to explain that the Wood-burning oven cooks at 850 dF and their likely to burn.

"Well, can't you just turn down the knob?"


----------



## soesje

lol. 

well you can just bake them shorter than the required time at the original temp, can't you.

how did you solve it, anyway?


----------



## vagabond

Just did the best we could, used an pizza pan, kept it as far away (in the neck of the oven) from the fire as possible. 

Could cook them shorter, but when you are cooking 500 degrees over the intended cooking temp, there is only so much you can do. 90 seconds is ALOT different than 30 min.

At the end of the party all the Gluten Free people were chowing down on our normal stuff anyway!


----------



## chefboyog

foodpump said:


> Canada is not as bad as the U.S for lawsuits .....
> 
> If restauants called azzhat's bluff's more often, then the "allergy abuse" wouldn't be so common.


My response invariably is " tell them its evolution"


----------



## phaedrus

If someone wants a gluten free pizza crust you might as well just a round out of cardboard. That's what those things taste like anyways./img/vbsmilies/smilies/biggrin.gif


----------



## shichangchu

"If someone wants a gluten free pizza crust you might as well just a round out of cardboard.  That's what those things taste like anyways."





I think I actually prefer the cardboard to most gluten free crusts. I've only found one gluten free pizza crust that I've actually liked. The owner who makes all the pizzas has celiac disease and was tired of that exact problem. She told me it took her years to figure it out.


----------



## sanfranchef

Chef, that is by far one of the most ridiculous requests I have ever seen. Almost hard to even believe. Literally = LOL big time! ;-)


----------



## matthew bauman

I owned a deli/pizzeria for 8 years. We began as a deli only and our specialty was sandwiches.

Our first paying customer. Yes FIRST, no exaggeration, walks in and looks at the menu. She walks up to order and asks if the prices are accurate. We say yes. She responds that "the prices are too high and she can make a better sandwich at home".

Luckily all customers are not like this.


----------



## andrew curley

Egg, medium rare


----------



## someday

Lol, egg MR. Good times. People really have no clue, do they? That is actually one of my bigger pet peeves in cooking is people trying to apply meat temperatures to other things. Like, cauliflower Medium rare or something. Seems to be happening. 

One of the most alarming trends in dining seems to be people ordering "plus" temps on their steaks. Like, I'll have a Medium rare "plus." Whatever the f- that means. I mean, it pretty much means medium, right? Or do you want me to hit the 2.5 degrees above the normal MR temp you might otherwise order? 

Anyways, whatever, we do our best with that type of thing. It seems to not be going away. But recently a server actually rang in a steak with the temp "Medium minus." Like, WTF. Medium Minus. 

I hope this isn't the beginning of a new trend.


----------



## anypills

Omelette with egg


----------



## anypills

Gluten free steak


----------



## panini

Not an order, but I just love when a new customer asks " are your cakes and pastries fresh?"


----------



## cheflayne

panini said:


> Not an order, but I just love when a new customer asks " are your cakes and pastries fresh?"


When ever I get one of those questions, I usually answer "No, they are very well mannered and polite, as opposed to the guy who made them."


----------



## chefdre31

Working at this tavern in Maryland Someone order honey oldbay bacon wings


----------



## panini

cheflayne said:


> When ever I get one of those questions, I usually answer "No, they are very well mannered and polite, as opposed to the guy who made them."


Nice/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


chefdre31 said:


> Working at this tavern in Maryland Someone order honey oldbay bacon wings


Chef, They are the best!!!! honey, old bay, sriracha, wings, tossed in chopped fresh bacon bits/img/vbsmilies/smilies/drinkbeer.gif


----------



## steve west

My favorites are from the regulars. Both of these are from old men who are very rich and just...you know, like it how they like it.

"8 oz tenderloin, extra well done, no char whatsoever, and juicy." I've gotten a $20 tip from this man a few times for getting the steak perfect. 

And then there's the man who every server hates to wait on, because he's rude and weird. And he's allergic to onions. So we have to strain the onions out of the onion soup...........

I did also enjoy the note from server on a ticket once that read: SEVERE SALT ALLERGY


----------



## chefedb

DEALING WITH THE PUBLIC?               Don't try and figure them out, just take their Money and say thank you.!!


----------



## luis j

halecarlton said:


> I would like a vegan omelet
> 
> So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease
> 
> He said it was the best omelet he's ever had


I just put you in my personal hall of fame and named you one of my favourite human beings!


----------



## dpr8ter

Currently manage a coffee shop and had a customer come in the other day and order cappuccino with no foam...

Back when I was in the kitchen we used to have a lady come in who was absolutely loaded, and she always had the strangest requests for her meals.  The strangest one I remember was she ordered the Caesar salad but she wanted it on top of a smear of mashed potatoes.

And of course the usual mid well-well orders and butterfly well done but still juicy.

The maitre d and chef almost got into a fight when a customer ordered his wagyu beef well done.  Chef refused to cook it more than med rare and the maitre d argued the customer gets what they pay for.  It was pretty tense for a few minutes.

And the time the customer was convinced we were lying about having u10 divers scallops and that we were serving skate wing because he "was a scallop diver in Florida for years and he's never seen scallops that big."


----------



## jimmythewino

lmao at Caesar's salad  hold anchovy, egg, garlic   at the same time I remember going to some pretty high end places from Monterrey to SF and paying a lot for mediocre meals


----------



## westbigballin

A table ordered five burgers on pretzel buns. We only carry pretzel slider buns...

We had to split the 8oz burger patty and reform them. When plating we had to split the LTOPs... Ticket that usually takes 8 minutes took two guys over twenty minutes which put us in the weeds for all the tickets that came afterwards


----------



## spoiledbroth

Took over twelve minutes for two guys to split ball and squish five patties???


----------



## loomchick

My father's wife is memorable.  She once tried to order a hot fudge sundae without the dairy.  When she tried to order a grill cheese sandwich without the dairy, we had to explain she was ordering toast.  Another time she was asking about the halibut (e.g., Is it fresh?).  After the waiter answered her questions, the last one was "Do I get a whole halibut?"

Dining with her is an experience at times.


----------



## mmecyn

(I know this is old, but the thread has been bumped, so I'll comment) -- 

Yes I DID know you can get an allergic reaction to Worcestershire sauce, because British bangers and mash and onion gravy once put me in the hospital. Now that they put anchovy paste in seemingly innocent foods (like mac and cheese) to up the umami factor, I never eat out without my epi pen. But  it would be nice if common allergens (like seafood) were listed on the menu. I just avoid anything I think could possibly have shrimp or anchovies added. But sometimes it is had to guess. =)


----------



## yamit5

So many memorable orders - where to start - 

Crispy Carnitas - no pork

Chicken BLT - no chicken, bacon or tomatoes

Paella - but I'm allergic to seafood!

Reese's cup dessert - you guessed it - allergic to peanuts

Salsa, guacamole and chips - no onion, no garlic, no tomatoes - all too acidic

My all time favorite - Kilo of crabs in the shell - hold the shell.


----------



## kuan

People who have fake allergies really ruin it for those with real allergies.


----------



## lagom

Recenty I was playing in the kitchen where a buddy of mine is the head chef. Very upscale, local producers, organic, reservation only, voted as one of the top restaurants in Scandinavia kinda joint. Set menu,but very accomadating if you give them some notice. So an hour before opening he has to take a call, table of 2, reso for a couple weeks, says the wife is deathly allegeric to nuts and before they come the restaurant needs to remove all nuts and make sure all equipment that may come in contact with her food was thourghly cleaned. My buddy tells him that there are nuts in 2 of the courses and he cant do that. Needless to say the pissing and moaning about his rights was comical. Their reso was cancelled for them.


----------



## kuan

panini said:


> Nice/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif
> 
> Chef, They are the best!!!! honey, old bay, sriracha, wings, tossed in chopped fresh bacon bits/img/vbsmilies/smilies/drinkbeer.gif


This I gotta try.


----------



## westbigballin

SpoiledBroth said:


> Took over twelve minutes for two guys to split ball and squish five patties???


Took a few minutes to b*tch about the ticket

10 min to split and cook probably

Few min to set the plates up. Their side order was veggie crudite so we had to assemble 5 orders of that.

Plating 10 mini burgers and giving each of them half of a LTOP...

Took way too long and its something that will never be done again


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## stingingbee

Ill have poached eggs... but no yolks...


----------



## spoiledbroth

stingingbee said:


> Ill have poached eggs... but no yolks...


lol thats fairly doable. Ugly tho.


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## spoiledbroth

Had a burger come back one time, specifically asked for ballpark insteak of dijon (burger half eaten), refire and server returns with plate saying customer found the ballpark mustard too spicy... it wad french's and the burger was at least 2/3 eaten. Refire no mustard. That person ate a little more than two burgers for free that night (3 altogether).


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## vegasculinarian

Rack of lamb butterflied. French onion soup vegetarian. French onion soup no onions. Well done steak cooked and then minced, baked potatoe chopped, vegetable chopped and sauce on the side (almost everyday from the same customer).


----------



## abaff410

berndy said:


> I once had a guy ordering a tomato paste and sliced raw onion sandwich on white.
> He did enjoy his sandwich and came back the next day for another one./img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


Hilarious! Especially the fact that he came back for another.

My weirdest order may have been a party of nine whose entire app order was one single taco. I can't imagine the rest of the party was happy having to wait through an extra course to watch one person eat a taco.


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## chefjasonb

I just had a guest return a smoked brisket sandwich because she wanted it "more well done".


----------



## spoiledbroth

Haha. That's almost as bad as "these beets taste too earthy".


----------



## frankie007

When I was working in the south of Spain I was lucky enough to serve some beautiful seafood, literally of the boat. One day among other stuff I bought some bream, put it on the menu and it was selling great. Mid service I get an order for one with the request for it not to be "too fishy". I send it out not really  knowing what to do about it and sure enough it comes back 5 minutes latter. You guessed it, "It is not chef's fault it is just to fishy" she said.......


----------



## frankie007

I have another one. This guy comes to the kitchen door and says "I ordered a well done steak, when you think it is cooked well done cook it for another 10 minutes...."


----------



## vic cardenas

frankie007 said:


> I have another one. This guy comes to the kitchen door and says "I ordered a well done steak, when you think it is cooked well done cook it for another 10 minutes...."


Did you give him exactly what he asked for? Or, did you exercise your better judgment?


----------



## capecodchef

We have a small, simple local breakfast and lunch cafe. One customer who came in almost daily insisted we burn his raisin toast. It would have to go through the conveyor toaster 6 or 7 times before it turned into the smoking black piece of charcoal that he insisted on. Anything less, and he'd send it back. I got so tired of new customers cringing at his plate, thinking we couldn't even make toast, as it smoked and smelled  through the dining room,  I told him he'd have to get this burning mess elsewhere.


----------



## chrisbristol

ganja said:


> sometimes I think we should put a temperature"meter" on the menu so ppl know what to order! No one seems to think, for example, that ur medium is the same as thiers. Or medium-rare, etc.


In England we cook things a little bit longer. So rare may be medium rare in some countries. If you go into some restaurants hey cook it more of a European rare and so it can be a good idea to check. I went to this steakhouse for my Birthday and I suspected they might cook it like this. I said to the waitress I wanted it rare and went into great detail to explain what kind of rare and she said she knew what I meant and it would be a British rare. But it came out virtually blue


----------



## mazaradhe

I just had a new one. Lady asks to see me during brunch. she tells me she wants a low fat eggs Benedict. She wants no yolks.. At all. I try to explain that yolks are a key ingredient the sauce. She tells me that a good chef should be able to make it happen. She got meringue covered egg whites. Ewww..


----------



## chefwd

Recently did a benefit dinner for 1500 in six different locations.... we sent out a letter to all diners several weeks before that if they had dietary needs, allergies, etc to please let us know ahead of time... granted the normal of gluten free, no nuts, etc, etc. came in but nothing really out of the ordinary.

The location I was in was the "high rollers" the benefactors that had paid the most, so we were serving them beef filets. The night of the benefit and as we are serving, we had one woman all of a sudden have an allergy to both salt and pepper... refused the food and told us we needed to redo it... needless to say, where we are serving vs where the kitchen was is about a half mile. so we called a head the kitchen for one plate with no salt or pepper... and then delivered. Of course she also wanted it well down (we were serving everyone medium) so by the time she got her meal everyone else was on dessert. Then she requested we wrap it up so she could take it home.

One of the most ridiculous things I have ever dealt with in my 20 plus years in the business.


----------



## chefwd

Mazaradhe said:


> I just had a new one. Lady asks to see me during brunch. she tells me she wants a low fat eggs Benedict. She wants no yolks.. At all. I try to explain that yolks are a key ingredient the sauce. She tells me that a good chef should be able to make it happen. She got meringue covered egg whites. Ewww..


LMAO


----------



## chrisbristol

Mazaradhe said:


> I just had a new one. Lady asks to see me during brunch. she tells me she wants a low fat eggs Benedict. She wants no yolks.. At all. I try to explain that yolks are a key ingredient the sauce. She tells me that a good chef should be able to make it happen. She got meringue covered egg whites. Ewww..


Was that to go with her rare steak with no blood


----------



## chefmannydlm

I have a new tale to tell. I was covering our made without gluten station while the cook in charge of it was taking her break. What we were serving was grilled chicken thighs over rice. A lady comes up to me and asks what I was serving so I tell her I have chicken and rice. She then says that she would just like the chicken and if I could just serve it on her plate with a slice of pizza. I Inform her that I can't do that because that particular station is made without gluten and I don't want to cross contaminate. She then asks, "so this is gluten-free ?" I respond that yes it. She then asks "including the rice?" I try to tell her that all rice is gluten-free to which she replied "ok then, I will also have the gluten-free rice. I can't digest regular rice."


----------



## alaminute

image.jpg




__
alaminute


__
Feb 12, 2015








They only wanted one of the chx's well


----------



## snowfleas

I can't imagine them wanting wilty Romaine, but I have not had the displeasure of having to deal with dentures.

Funny stories

Thanks for the laughs

Vicki


----------



## snowfleas

If it had been over-cooked it would have been worse. At least you could have a blue steak cooked a little more.


----------



## snowfleas

Sounds like a Drama Queen to me.


----------



## snowfleas

I am new here and I think I have been hitting the wrong button. I am truly sorry for any confusion. I guess I am supposed to click on the Quote button to reply to the individual posts. Once again, please forgive me.

Vicki


----------



## snowfleas

CapeCodChef said:


> We have a small, simple local breakfast and lunch cafe. One customer who came in almost daily insisted we burn his raisin toast. It would have to go through the conveyor toaster 6 or 7 times before it turned into the smoking black piece of charcoal that he insisted on. Anything less, and he'd send it back. I got so tired of new customers cringing at his plate, thinking we couldn't even make toast, as it smoked and smelled through the dining room, I told him he'd have to get this burning mess elsewhere.


I worked briefly as a short order cook and there was one customer who would order eggs sunny side up and very runny with an order of bacon warmed but not cooked. I over cooked his bacon the first time and he sent it back. It just about turned my stomach to see him eat it when I got the order the way he preferred it. I think I would rather serve burnt toast.


----------



## thecaptain435

I recently had a guy come in and complain that the lettuce on his salad was "wet." It wasn't swimming, it wasn't soggy, plus it had been tossed in dressing. The only thing I can think of is that he either prefers his lettuce dry and unwashed (dirt and bugs included) or he forgot to specify that we needed to blow dry it for him.


----------



## mckallidon

I worked in a Mexican place, and after these schlubs had three baskets of complimentary chips and the house salsa, which has onion and garlic in it, they order, and the wife claims to be allergic to anything allium and she says she'll die if there is onion in her enchiladas or sides. Much to our dismay they came in the following weekend because they loved us so much.

Medium pizza with different quarters. It took them longer to engineer this between themselves and communicate it to us than it did for us to make it and for them to eat it. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but this also involved different sauces. If I owned the place I would have made them buy at least a large.

Woman calls to complain that the bleu cheese in her order of wings had mold in it. Upon trying to delicately explain the obvious about the cups poured that afternoon and dated with a sharpie, she said she didn't want a refund (not offered) because she would never eat there again and that she was calling the health department and her lawyer. They began ordering regularly again a few weeks later.

Person orders steak very well done, asks server to tell us it was too tough and chewy for his bad teeth. To be fair that may have been the case regardless of how _he_ ordered it.

Woman tells waitress she wants dippy eggs. Is asked if she wants them over easy. Says she doesn't know what that is but she likes them dippy.

Vegan complains veggie dog doesn't taste like a real hotdog.


----------



## mckallidon

halecarlton said:


> I would like a vegan omelet
> 
> So naturally I cooked the omelet in bacon grease
> 
> He said it was the best omelet he's ever had


Haha YES! I worked in a few diners and this one across from a huge university had tons of vegans and weirdos come in, and we would always laugh at the vegans that would go out of their way to ask us to change our gloves (what gloves lol) and other stupid stuff, because when they got homefries or hashbrowns, they were always smothered in bacon grease! We had this special we would do on the weekend for them with grilled portobello, peppers, onions, homefries and toast, and they'd always get bacon grease and butter, and they always really appreciated it.


----------



## spoiledbroth

macaroni and cheese, dairy allergy.


----------



## thecaptain435

Had a pretty good one tonight. A customer with lactose intolerance orders the pesto tortellini. Ticket reads, no pesto cream sauce, sub marinara, no cheese. I call the server in and ask her if the customer is aware that the "three cheese tortellini" is made with cheese.


----------



## Iceman

I find it interesting how people that consider themselves professionals of the food industry have absolutely no clue whatsoever (read: respect for) what a vegan lifestyle is. How you could claim and make joke of the actions you do that are completely against the lifestyle of people paying you money. WOW.


----------



## honeychef

Baked ziti but without cheese --


----------



## imtinas

Just Jim said:


> "What cheeses are in the lasagna?"
> "Ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan and cheddar"
> "Okay, they'll have the lasagna, but without the cheddar"
> 
> "I want my steak medium rare, but absolutely no pink or red"
> 
> "I'm very allergic to garlic, is there any in the special?"
> "Yes, there is a little"
> "Well, as long as I can't see it I'll be okay. I'll have the special"
> [/quote
> It's easy to confuse a food allergy with a much more common reaction known as food intolerance. While bothersome, food intolerance is a less serious condition that does not involve the immune system...and some chwf&servers, as I hIt's easy to confuse a food allergy with a much more common reaction known as food intolerance. While bothersome, food intolerance is a less serious condition that does not involve the immune system.And some chefs and servers, such as I,have developed an intolerance to such bothersome customers...


----------



## redbeerd cantu

IceMan said:


> I find it interesting how people that consider themselves professionals of the food industry have absolutely no clue whatsoever (read: respect for) what a vegan lifestyle is. How you could claim and make joke of the actions you do that are completely against the lifestyle of people paying you money. WOW.


I think the humor of the situation was that they ordered an omelete, which is egg, which is not vegan. No?


----------



## chan

Off the subject, how do most chefs decide where to place cooks and/or chefs/ Sous. on a sevice line for plating banquets? Is there a proper etiquette? Never been sure about that?


----------



## westbigballin

I haven't had stupid orders come back recently but I have been having my fair share of fun with employee meals

My memorable ones:

- Big boss corporate chef comes in one day and after he's done doing his thing, he sits at the bar and orders a brat when he could have made it himself. 

Brats come garnished with a leaf of italian parsley

... I combed through our entire vegetable inventory for the biggest branch of parsley to put on top. It was probably as long as the brat bun itself. He didn't come back and say anything about it though, much to my dismay.

- Servers who want extra bacon on their meals get it in the form of two giant letters: "F U" (only takes two slices)

- Sous chef orders food after he clocks out, orders a mac and cheese with a brat. We stick the whole brat into the mac and cheese upright and put two pretzel bites below it and serve it to him. 8====D


----------



## fablesable

LMAO....ahh these are brilliant stories that made me chuckle. Thank you for sharing! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif

I once had an older affluent couple that used to come into the restaurant frequently and treat everyone horribly (yelling, being rude to servers, telling the BOH how to cook and do their jobs, etc.). I was the new executive chef and had heard stories and had occasionally experienced flustered servers from this couple but no complaints about my food when one day the fellow decided to tell me how to do my job and say that his steak was not cooked right (he ordered medium rare). He sent it back saying that he wanted medium rare and that there was too much pink in the middle, so the next one we cooked medium and he sent it back saying there wasn't enough pink in the middle, so we cooked another one in between medium rare and medium and sent it back saying that it was too chewy and that what kind of person calls themselves a chef if they can't cook a bloody steak. So I sent him out a bloody steak and told the server to say to him that if he would have just said he wanted a bloody steak in the first place we would have saved a lot of money, wastage and time. He didn't take that well (obviously) and asked to talk to the chef which I had already changed into my fresh whites for. I went to the table and the first thing out of his mouth was "well that explains it then, how can you let a woman do a man's job, no wonder you can't get it right. Women don't belong in these kitchens." To which I politely replied " Well sir, I appreciate your feedback, and as I grew up on a ranch farm there are three things I learned that qualify me for this job. One: We learned at a very young age to be able to take off the horns, wipe the cow's ass, throw it on the grill and cook it right every time. Two: I was tired of walking barefoot in my own kitchen and decided to put some shoes on to cook for other people. and Three: If you are gonna pick a fight with someone, make sure its not the biggest bitch of the bunch. Now please kindly leave this establishment and do not come back as you are not welcome. The valet has you car up front waiting for you." The look on his face was priceless.....true story.

I also had a lady come in recently and asked for butter-less croissants!!!! I told her to go to Safeway, Costco, Save-on as they had what she was looking for. She said that they just have regular croissants and she wanted ones not made with butter. OMG do NOT get me started down that road..........grrrrrrr......lol


----------



## capecodchef

IceMan said:


> I find it interesting how people that consider themselves professionals of the food industry have absolutely no clue whatsoever (read: respect for) what a vegan lifestyle is. How you could claim and make joke of the actions you do that are completely against the lifestyle of people paying you money. WOW.


I could not agree more. The glee at which some sophomoric people tell of stories of loading up vegan requests with bacon grease and butter shows the depths of which some people go in our industry. IMO, they have no place in the kitchen and give us all a bad name. Thankfully, this is typically line cook behavior as most responsible chefs would never stand for such behavior. To me, it's akin to spitting in one's food. If I saw it on my line, the jerk would be thrown out the door immediately.


RedBeerd Cantu said:


> I think the humor of the situation was that they ordered an omelete, which is egg, which is not vegan. No?


While that is indeed funny, it's the "ha ha" comments of those that say, "We put bacon grease in the vegan orders," that is disgusting behavior. The classification of some customers as "vegans and wackos" shows a level of ignorance, immaturity, and unprofessionalism that astounds me. IMO,Those kinds of people aren't even qualified to work the deep fryer at the local Burger King.


----------



## spoiledbroth

thecaptain435 said:


> Had a pretty good one tonight. A customer with lactose intolerance orders the pesto tortellini. Ticket reads, no pesto cream sauce, sub marinara, no cheese. I call the server in and ask her if the customer is aware that the "three cheese tortellini" is made with cheese.


Most cheese contains little lactose, if I remember correctly? Lactobacillus bacteria responsible for flavouring most cheese consume lactose and do something or other. I'll look it up in On Food and Cooking next time I remember.


----------



## iridium12

Love this thread - some really great laughs in here.

One of my personal favorites would have to be during the time I was working in Indonesia (5-star resort right by the beach, beautiful property, great Exec. Chef and colleagues, really annoying guests though):

Server: Does the Fish & Chips have Seafood?

Me: Yes...fish...

5 Minutes later

Server: Can we make the Fish & Chips without seafood?

Me:....not sure. It would then just be chips...

Exec.Chef: Sure - we'll make them without seafood.

I turn around to him and he just smiles: Easy - load up another hand full of chips, drizzle a little lemon juice over it and send it out. We'll still charge them for Fish & Chips though

I could not stop smiling after that

Another time during the peak season (summer time)

Server: Can we make the Crème Brulee lactose free?

Me: Yes - we use coconut milk in that case

Server: Noted

5 minutes after that

Server: The guest has requested there be no coconut flavor in the lactose free crème brulee...

Exec. Chef: Ok - ask the guest to wait just a little longer and we will send it out

Now this time I was really confused - how are we going to make a lactose free crème brulee if we couldn't use coconut milk (almond milk would be too thin and would not set).

Exec. Chef goes over to our Pastry Chef, has a chat with him, comes back with what looks like a small muffin.

He takes it, places it in the crème brulee form, sprinkles some sugar over it, caramelizes it, and sends it out.

Upon my dumbfounded look he just says - lactose free muffin with sugar on top - sounds like a crème brulee according to their specifications

Funnily enough the dish was not send back...


----------



## Iceman

OK then ... I guess *CapeCodChef* answered the question I was asked well enough.


----------



## mckallidon

IceMan said:


> I find it interesting how people that consider themselves professionals of the food industry have absolutely no clue whatsoever (read: respect for) what a vegan lifestyle is. How you could claim and make joke of the actions you do that are completely against the lifestyle of people paying you money. WOW.


Keep in mind some of us don't own the place. We do what we're told and go with the flow. They didn't personally pay me anything, so I am less beholden to them than my boss and the standards he and his family sets. When a less professional person signs your check and works on the line with you, you really don't want to get sanctimonious about what _they_ decide to do in _their_ restaurant unless something better is lined up for the next pay period. Would I do that in mine? No. But I don't own one, so until then I am along for the ride and making the best of it. Is it unprofessional to be annoyed by vegans? Trust me, the breed of hipster vegan in NY is unlike any encountered elsewhere, and they have plenty of their own special restaurants here pandering to them where I live that they do not need to go out of their way to make everyone else's restaurant go out of theirs. If you want to be a hardcore vegan, then you should probably be morally opposed to spending money in a place that has meat in almost menu item, except for the one or two bones obviously thrown to them so their omnivore friends can still feel like 1st class citizens when they go out to eat with these human carps. If a place covers its rent alone off of bacon and ground beef sales, and you patronize it, you have no genuine moral integrity to have compromised by unprofessionals, and are already a walking punchline. Money is not a virtue. Human action can be. I don't go into vegetarian, vegan or gluten free restaurants asking for a turkey sandwich, mayonnaise or pumpernickel toast. I eat what they offer graciously like a civilized person. Not only am I a cook, but I happen to be a customer myself almost everyday, and a better breed of one at that, simply because I don't think the fact that my money is green entitles me to be a pain in anyone's neck. There are plenty of very profitable and popular restaurants that do very well without pretending the customer is always right. There is no one right or wrong way. This industry is a free-for-all. Plenty of people truly appreciate getting better service because everyone gets what is on the menu without special treatment so the people serving them can do their job better and faster. In some parts of Europe, if you don't want what the establishment serves, then you are SOL.


----------



## Iceman

Professionals don't do such stuff like what has been claimed. Professionals don't in any way try to justify that type of behavior. Professionals understand that YES, every customer walking in the door of the establishment they work for is paying for their take-home check. Without customers they don't have a job. Professionals don't complain about who comes into their establishment, they just work the best they can to keep them coming back to spend more money there.

I've just deleted all sorts of ideas explaining _"customer service"_ in the food industry. It really doesn't matter in this instance because you won't read any of it and you obviously don't care.


----------



## iridium12

Now - as I am fairly new to all of this I might be missing some links here - but maybe someone could fill me in to why there is critic on the stories being told here when the thread very clearly says, that it is about the "stupidest" orders that we have all received during our time.

Yes, professionalism is very important in our line of work, just as it is with front of house staff, banking, etc....basically anytime you venture into the service industry.

But let's really be honest here - who has not in their experience had the odd customer where you really thought at the end of the day, what an id*** this person was?

I honestly do not believe that there is anyone in this line of work, be it at the beginning of their career or at the end, that has never thought this way about a client / group of clients.

Just my two cents here


----------



## slickazgrease

Once again, thread hijacked by "pros" needing to assert their pro-ness on the internet when they could just not hijack the thread.  Too bad mckallidon's last two comments were deleted by the mods.  Maybe assumptions could go questioned.

Fact is, there is no golden standard for how to successful operate in The Biz.  You can go bankrupt smooching behinds all day, and get rich being a complete jerk.  If this business was so simple and formulaic, there wouldn't be such a crazy amount of variation in it. 

But the dumbest order I ever received, was for a Reuben with no corned beef.  Just rye, dressing, cheese and kraut. I say that is the stupidest order ever because there were extensive vegetarian options, and they didn't even try to sub extra cheese or anything.  Worst ten dollars ever spent in my opinion.


----------



## capecodchef

I'm only guessing slickazgrease is mckilladon. But, I'd bet a week's pay on it.

I'm also guessing mckilladon's last 2 comments were deleted because he was attacking other posters and being a smug ass, slinging as much "I've seen it, Done it All, Know it All" mud as the boy could muster. But that may just be me.

Back on topic, Had a salad order yesterday, no onion or cuke, tomatoes on the side, olives on the side, blue cheese on the side, bacon on the side. So basically, lettuce and a bunch of sides.


----------



## archbow

We have a customer that comes in on the regular, and is always known to like his food cooked thoroughly. So one of the servers suggests crab cakes to him, and sure enough I get it sent back asking for it to be cooked more... IT'S ALREADY FULLY COOKED. So I did what any other cook would do, I took the blow torch to it. I charred the crab, burnt the panko, and it smelled like burnt toast out of the ocean..

Moral of this story is, don't be a smartass. He know comes in for his "well done" crab cakes almost every day now.


----------



## chefbuba

CapeCodChef said:


> I'm only guessing slickazgrease is mckilladon. But, I'd bet a week's pay on it.
> 
> I'm also guessing mckilladon's last 2 comments were deleted because he was attacking other posters and being a smug ass, slinging as much "I've seen it, Done it All, Know it All" mud as the boy could muster. But that may just be me.
> 
> Back on topic, Had a salad order yesterday, no onion or cuke, tomatoes on the side, olives on the side, blue cheese on the side, bacon on the side. So basically, lettuce and a bunch of sides.


I'd bet that week's pay also.

"I've been judged on this forum for having unorthodox opinions, yet somehow I always manage to be one of the best for anyone that has ever hired me who was worth working for, despite what the internet's "pros" think." Quoted from slick who joined yesterday. Same troll.


----------



## capecodchef

chefbuba said:


> I'd bet that week's pay also.
> 
> "I've been judged on this forum for having unorthodox opinions, yet somehow I always manage to be one of the best for anyone that has ever hired me who was worth working for, despite what the internet's "pros" think." Quoted from slick who joined yesterday. *Same troll.*


Right. Good catch. Pretty pathetic to have to fabricate a second persona so one can agree with oneself. Kinda funny, too, actually.


----------



## fablesable

Come on everyone.....we are adults, lets drop the hating or picking on others and get back to the OP Thread.

You all have valid opinions! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif

I always get a giggle out of the people that say they have an "allergy" to something then order something on the menu that has that exact thing they are "allergic" to. When you point it out to them that it has ingredients that they are "allergic" to they just say that they are not totally allergic.......WHATTT?? lol


----------



## iridium12

Fablesable said:


> Come on everyone.....we are adults, lets drop the hating or picking on others and get back to the OP Thread.
> 
> You all have valid opinions! /img/vbsmilies/smilies/smile.gif
> 
> I always get a giggle out of the people that say they have an "allergy" to something then order something on the menu that has that exact thing they are "allergic" to. When you point it out to them that it has ingredients that they are "allergic" to they just say that they are not totally allergic.......WHATTT?? lol


Nicely said, nicely said.

Ah, the good old allergies.

Had one of those just recently 

Was putting together a Private Dinner for some clients and asked in advance if anyone was allergic to anything so that I might prepare an alterative for them.

Got the heads up, that one of the guests was allergic to shellfish and mussels (of all kinds).

Ok - had one scallop dish, a prawn dish and a seafood curry on the menu, so substituted all three for non-seafood dishes.

During the actual dinner the guest in question is happily eating, and to my surprise he is chowing down on the seafood curry of his wife.

I didn't say anything until I came out of the kitchen at the end of the dinner and politely asked him on the side, why he had eaten the seafood curry (then there was shellfish on mass in there).

His reply:

If I can't see it I am not allergic to it


----------



## redbeerd cantu

Iridium12 said:


> Nicely said, nicely said.
> 
> Ah, the good old allergies.
> 
> Had one of those just recently
> 
> Was putting together a Private Dinner for some clients and asked in advance if anyone was allergic to anything so that I might prepare an alterative for them.
> 
> Got the heads up, that one of the guests was allergic to shellfish and mussels (of all kinds).
> 
> Ok - had one scallop dish, a prawn dish and a seafood curry on the menu, so substituted all three for non-seafood dishes.
> 
> During the actual dinner the guest in question is happily eating, and to my surprise he is chowing down on the seafood curry of his wife.
> 
> I didn't say anything until I came out of the kitchen at the end of the dinner and politely asked him on the side, why he had eaten the seafood curry (then there was shellfish on mass in there).
> 
> His reply:
> 
> If I can't see it I am not allergic to it


*insert facepalm here*


----------



## fablesable

> Ah, the good old allergies.
> 
> Had one of those just recently
> 
> Was putting together a Private Dinner for some clients and asked in advance if anyone was allergic to anything so that I might prepare an alterative for them.
> 
> Got the heads up, that one of the guests was allergic to shellfish and mussels (of all kinds).
> 
> Ok - had one scallop dish, a prawn dish and a seafood curry on the menu, so substituted all three for non-seafood dishes.
> 
> During the actual dinner the guest in question is happily eating, and to my surprise he is chowing down on the seafood curry of his wife.
> 
> I didn't say anything until I came out of the kitchen at the end of the dinner and politely asked him on the side, why he had eaten the seafood curry (then there was shellfish on mass in there).
> 
> His reply:
> 
> If I can't see it I am not allergic to it


OMG I just couldn't stop laughing at this after the facepalm thing happened.......lmao!!


----------



## capecodchef

Too funny on "allergies". When did it become common for people to convert their dislikes to "I'm allergic"? We hear it all the time, too. I'm "allergic" to garlic. I'm "allergic" to onions. I'm "allergic" to mushrooms. Too funny.


----------



## neworleanscookj

Rediscovered this thread, and remembered some funny orders I've put in for myself as a waiter. One was at a sorta hipster, artisan, wood fired pizza restaurant. I remember seeing a YouTube video of a dish that was pretty much paneed chicken with a layer of sliced pepperoni, black olives and red sauce; topped with mozzarella and put into an oven. I was bored with the menu as we get time to time at work, so I punched in an order for a chicken breast with mods. Figuring the cooks would be like "Huh?" I went by the pass. My coworker (Who looks like a torn up Seth Rogen in _Pineapple Express_) is glaring in aggravation. I proceeded to tell him about the dish, to which he replied "So you want a pepperoni pizza... ADD Olives, NO Pizza, SUB Fried Chicken...? What the hell is wrong with you?" /img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif It was actually really good. This same place I ordered chicken one time when another server brought a watermelon to share, which I made a small platter with and had with a drink I made to look like Kool-Aid. This place had an open kitchen so eventually the cooks spotted me with my "shift meal" which brought on a few laughs. Sometimes you gotta make your own fun when you have no tables and are raking in that $2.13/hr. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


----------



## krys

Since I have life-threatening allergies, I don't eat in restaurants. Even with my epi pen. It is my job to avoid those foods, and that includes cross contamination. If more people with allergies, not sensitivities 
, but allergies, knew what goes in BOH, they won't eat out, either.


----------



## neworleanscookj

Got "I'm allergic to plastic." once, what does this woman do when she goes to the hospital /img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif? everything is disposable one time use plastic lol.


----------



## jonnyhotcakes

-Was out of angelhair. Customer said "can't you just cut the linguine in half?"

-A two top, both ordered steaks - one rare, one well done. Well done customer livid that their steak was a bit smaller.

-Regular furious that shrimp cocktail was taken off menu due to it being a slow mover. Demands it every time they come in, poached and chilled during service. We grudgingly put it back on the menu so we can prep it in advance. Regular hasn't ordered it since.

-Blackened salmon, raw.

-"What do you mean I can't get the braised shortribs rare!? What kind of chefs do you have working here?"


----------



## halb

This one is by me. I was at a diner and ordered a hot open RB with mashed potato. Waitress comes back and says that they only have baked potatoes. I told her to tell the chef to take a couple of them, scoop out the insides and smack it around with a fork. I got my mashed.


----------



## neworleanscookj

I kinda like getting a order that's super specific on allergies if its slow, if only to take as much care as if I'm defusing a bomb, or doing brain surgery. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/tongue.gif Oh and waste a lot of gloves.


----------



## sporkparade

Confession time: The stupidest was by me, and it involved multiple brainfarts.  For background, I keep sort of kosher, but I'm willing to eat pescetarian in unkosher places.  And since fish isn't often on order, "vegetarian" is my shorthand for "doesn't contain unkosher animals."

One day, there was fish on offer at the college cafeteria.  The sign contained a warning that the fish contained seafood.  I, like an idiot, forgot that fish is seafood and thought maybe the recipe included oyster sauce or some other shellfish-derived product.  So what was the clarifying question I asked the cafeteria staff?  I asked, "Is the fish vegetarian?"


----------



## redbeerd cantu

"I'm allergic to everything."  

Really happened.

And just today:

"This isn't a real Greek salad; REAL Greek salad is made with romaine lettuce."  We use the romaine hearts for our salads.


----------



## neworleanscookj

Here's one that's not really a customer's specific order, but rather a totally wacko situation. Was working F.O.H. some years ago and some religious youth program (Rebuild N.O.) from some god forsaken landlocked town in middle of nowhere america chose _US!_ for dinner... Yay!... for like 130 teenagers/img/vbsmilies/smilies/drinkbeer.gifYay!?!?!/img/vbsmilies/smilies/confused.gif!, and around 15 chaperons. Kids all had 20 something dollars to spend, plus their own spending money if they'd like.

Our restaurant's name: _The Crazy Lobster..._

Our location: On the riverfront at the foot of Canal St. (Like Times Square for N.O.); one _can watchin' the ships roll in, n' watch em rollin' way again_ _and $h*t_ from open air balcony patios with live local music...

Our fare: Seafood mostly(Duh); Lobster, 3 types of crab, 3 types of fish, crawfish, shrimp, mussels, calms, deeznuts, oysters etc. prepared anyway you could think of...

Signature Item: Deluxe Seafood Bucket (SS mixing bowl) for 3-4:* $120* : 2 1-lbs steamed lobsters, 1 lbs each steamed king, snow, dungeness crab, 1+ lbs boiled crawfish and shrimp, 8 count each steamed mussels, deeznuts, clams, and oysters. 1 lb boiled corn and new potatoes. Served with seasoned drawn butter, lemons, cocktail sauce, and remoulade sauce. Free bibs and weapnz on loan (Shell crackers/nun-chucks when I'm bored) with purchase.

Kid's ticket in... daannnadadndnadddadddaaananananandadnana² + ticcatcatica... dahnn!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------

*Table **# -* Quaker state kidz n da _get fresh_ crew

*Guests #* *- *Justin Bieber concert

*Server - *Erybody up here n' dey mama

--------------------------------------------------------

*71 Gourmet Burger*

Well Done

*Type Prep* < Ha ha! >

*24 Fried Chix Poboy*

NO! French Bread

Sub Bun

NO! Creole Seasn

NO! Remoulade

*8 Grilled Mahi Sand.*

NO! Compound Butter

Sub *Type Prep* < Dirt >

---*!!!Mod Void!!!*---

NO! Creole Seasn

*9 Kids Burger*

ADD! Cheese <Cheddar>

*Plain*

*13 Kids Chix Fng.*

*4 Kids Cat Plate*

Well Done

*Cup Gumbo*

***Type Prep* < Pureed >

---ToGo---

*See Server*

*8 Onion Straw*

NO! Remoulade

NO! Creole Seasn

NO! Parsley

*4 Poppy's Sundae*

Xtra Sprinkles

*Type Prep* < Xtra gay >

--------------------------------------------------------

*Order Fire*

--------------------------------------------------------

Chef: /img/vbsmilies/smilies/eek.gif... *%(^§#!×nin! U$ @ll! &!%$!!! ¾Sid€[email protected]!|!³[emoji]169[/emoji]... $h*+... !!!!*/img/vbsmilies/smilies/crying.gif* bRa+ty @$& m![emoji]169[/emoji]Ky MöÜ$Æ[emoji]8482[/emoji] ßü|!$h[emoji]9830[/emoji]+*/img/vbsmilies/smilies/mad.gif.!.

_*... Fire me the effin walk in!! Crank all ovens and eyelets!!!!...Yes Chef!*_/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lever.gif/img/vbsmilies/smilies/laser.gif

_Stay tuned for part 2... "The parent's ticket"_

"When in Rome, Eat some Seafood!"

Josh


----------



## sporkparade

SpoiledBroth said:


> Most cheese contains little lactose, if I remember correctly? Lactobacillus bacteria responsible for flavouring most cheese consume lactose and do something or other. I'll look it up in On Food and Cooking next time I remember.


You are correct. Hard cheeses and yogurt contain the least lactose, soft cheeses have more, and milk and cream have the most. Butter has almost no lactose. Since it's an intolerance, not an allergy, there's a lot of variation in how much lactose individuals can tolerate before they start having symptoms.


----------



## maravedi

Lmfao at this thread. My fondest memory:

*Lobster Mac & Cheese*
- split x16

in ramkins, tiny spoons, as
amuse. xtra claw meat pls.
**********************************


----------



## ldiatone

hello,  some ones i remember...Fellow orders eggs over  NO SNOT.

at the club i worked at we had 2 kitchens.  downstairs kitchen was breakfast-short order-9th hole.  Fellow complained all the time the girls could not get his eggs right  OE wrong OL wrong  UP wrong.  called one of the girls "stupid" for not knowing how to make them.  I said let me try and we got it right.  the fellow wanted BASTED eggs and didn't know how to order them!


----------



## neworleanscookj

Saw one yesterday kid and his dad, 11:30 am dad ordered a BBQ burger, son ordered basket of cheese fries w/ 14 strips of bacon. Breakfast of champions for NASCAR fans apparently.


Maravedi said:


> Lmfao at this thread. My fondest memory:
> 
> *Lobster Mac & Cheese*
> - split x16
> 
> in ramkins, tiny spoons, as
> amuse. xtra claw meat pls.
> **********************************


At some point with stuff like that, might as well charge a plating fee /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


----------



## Iceman

Lately I've been working at a park district _"Country Club"_. It's a regular little country club that is run by the park district. Anyone can be a member, but you have to pay your quarterly fee at the park district ... just like if you were signing up for a pottery class. It's a great kitchen and the menu is wide open for anything I want. The only catch to that is that if something doesn't sell, I don't get reimbursed for the supplied items. NO big deal. Anyway ... I make a really good meat-loaf. It was getting wiped out by the lunch crowd. A guy came in and said that his wife brought some home. He thought it was very good, he just couldn't deal with the seasonings. He asked if I could make it for him too, but just plain ... NO seasonings. I listened, but didn't think about answering him. I went into the walk-in and pulled out the roll of 93/7 ground beef and sliced off a half-pound slab. I seared it up in butter with salt/pepper using a cast skillet finishing it up in the oven for a few minutes. We served it up. The guy loved it. For the next three(3) days all of his friends wanted it too. I was dieing trying to keep a strait face. On Friday the park district manager came in and wanted to know what the hey I was doing. I calmly explained myself. He had your basic regular stupid look on his face as he listened. He asked what we were charging. I told him the same as the meat-loaf with a $2 up-charge being that it was an off-menu special. Holding back his own laughter he just told me to get back to work.


----------



## zaxmyth

Mine is a tie, both ordering similar things:

"French Onion Soup, extra onions, all onions on side" 

"French Onion Soup, no onions because he's allergic"

There aren't many times I'm left speechless on my line, but these were both times I had literally nothing to say.


----------



## cihaneroletlik

Once i ve had a weird request, guest wanted side onion rings with no onion.. 
What? Ohh she wants fried tempura [emoji]128516[/emoji]


----------



## kaiquekuisine

Posted on the wrong thread before but oh well...

Caprese Salad no Mozzarella de Buffala, instead sub the cheese for fried chicken.... 

So we did <_< but it didnt make sense or look like a salad, it looked like a replated fancy version of some KFC knockoff.


----------



## justa chef

ok...no necessarily  an order...Bu I 86'ed something on night and our Daffy waitress sent in an order for 4 of the Item we 86ed. Brought the server into the kitchen and told her we were out of them. Dumbfoundedly she says..."well you just had 86 of them, what am I suppose to tell the guests"....lol....Glad she didn't read minds...as far as the stupidest order I've ever gotten.....Chicken Cordon Bleu with the Ham and Cheese on the side.......


----------



## greyeaglem

Kippers said:


> My wife was a Maitre D on a cruise ship sailing in the Carib.The main oil feed to the engines fractured then exploded as they were serving desert.The Master ordered all passengers to their muster station. She was asked by a pax if she could take her desert with her.


Well, it makes sense. If you're going to drown, it would be a shame to not have your dessert first. I think I'd take two along to eat while waiting in line for the life boat.


----------



## greyeaglem

kweedon said:


> My personal favorite is the order fo a NY strip steak cooked rare but they want it burned on the outside.


That's what Pittsburgh is. When somebody ordered it I would use a cast iron frying pan. They used to call it char rare, but now they say Pittsburgh or black and blue.


----------



## greyeaglem

westbigballin said:


> A table ordered five burgers on pretzel buns. We only carry pretzel slider buns...
> 
> We had to split the 8oz burger patty and reform them. When plating we had to split the LTOPs... Ticket that usually takes 8 minutes took two guys over twenty minutes which put us in the weeds for all the tickets that came afterwards


That's why you tell them if they want pretzel buns they need to order the item that comes on them. People now think they need to be catered to at every turn, and restaurants encourage it by falling over backwards to do it. While you're messing around with the "special" person's order, everybody else is being inconvenienced by having to wait longer for their food. The focus now seems to be on pleasing the "special" person and everyone else can go to hell. It's a menu, not a suggestion sheet, and we have it for a reason. The way to stop it is by adding a hefty "special order" fee. I call it the PITA fee. Do I care if they come back? No. They're wrecking my business. Nothing will kill you faster than long wait times. Something simple, no problem, but when it backs your kitchen up to the point it's making other people wait, it's time to say no. These fussy people just aren't worth it.


----------



## greyeaglem

Mazaradhe said:


> I just had a new one. Lady asks to see me during brunch. she tells me she wants a low fat eggs Benedict. She wants no yolks.. At all. I try to explain that yolks are a key ingredient the sauce. She tells me that a good chef should be able to make it happen. She got meringue covered egg whites. Ewww..


That's when you tell them you're a chef, not a miracle worker. When what you really want to say is a good customer wouldn't ask for something that ridiculous. And if she was worried about low fat, she should have asked for Hollandaise with no butter. Low fat diet, cut the egg yolk and keep the butter. I'm surprised my head isn't full of dents from banging it on the wall.


----------



## justa chef

Nothing kills you more in a small community that being a dick towards your guest...it's the "Hospitality business",,Be hospitable....LOL


----------



## the novice

You win the internet for today, still laughing an our later 

Caesar salad, no croutons, parm, or bacon bits, and no dressing


----------



## chefjonbailey

SporkParade said:


> You are correct. Hard cheeses and yogurt contain the least lactose, soft cheeses have more, and milk and cream have the most. Butter has almost no lactose. Since it's an intolerance, not an allergy, there's a lot of variation in how much lactose individuals can tolerate before they start having symptoms.


----------



## chefjonbailey

After 4 months of aging most cheese has converted all lactose. Making it naturally lactose free. Beemster is a good one.


----------



## chefjonbailey

Medium rare no blood. I'll faint if I see blood. This was for Australian Lamb Chops.


----------



## redbeerd cantu

Just the other day, we got an order for our shrimp entree, hold the Manchego, "because I'm vegetarian, but please leave the chorizo on".





  








facepalm 2.jpeg




__
redbeerd cantu


__
Jun 2, 2016


----------



## toydujour

Egg Beaters Sunny Side Up

Chicken Florentine - Pittsburg (Server thought Pittsburg just meant Blackened)

I've spent several years at beach side resorts

Crab Legs - no shell

Peel and Eat Shrimp - Peeled.

Yeah, I'm totally going to shuck your food for you, want me to chew it too?


----------



## rndmchef

Al dente gnocchi was requested a few weeks ago...


----------



## capecodchef

Side of bacon, burnt.

Customer sends it back saying it's TOO well done. When I won't refire, explaining I don't know how to control degrees of "burnt", threatens a bad Yelp review.


----------



## justa chef

Ya...well beat them to the punch on Yelp...Tell your story first. But truthfully, You have to pick and choose your battles, and that was one not worth fighting. Just give them the 3 or 4  rasher of bacon but first, have you're server ask them their definition of burned. Back to Yelp, it's a bunch of BS. You can call them and pay a fee and have things removed. It's a scam on their end, but in the same respect, you can tactfully, diplomatically and politely make disgruntled guests back in their play if you do it the right way. Once again, some battles are worth fighting and other times it's best just to apologize and try to make amends in the general public.


----------



## captainrough

I'll have a burger, I'm on a diet so can I replace the bun and fries with two more patties?


----------



## Iceman

Better yet ... put a piece of fried chx in between the burgers, glued together with melted cheese and bacon. 

I think Colonel Sanders KFC had a deal like this.


----------



## frankie007

Chef, chef the guy on table 7 is allergic to salt!


----------



## 2chefdup

Server: "can we make a different seasonal bruschetta for this table she is allergic to mushrooms?"

Mr. cant say no : "yea ill make a steak bruschetta with pesto for her."

Server: "okay"

5 mins later

server:"no she is a vegetarian, can you do a tomato basil?"

Mr.cant say no: "k"

entree comes in

mr cant say no: "what is her entree it says split plate?"

Server:"she is splitting the marsala with her husband, the mushrooms are fine as long as they are cooked"

Mushroom bruschetta description was with sauteed mushrooms

This was my second night after leaving my last job and it felt like I had made a real bad call choosing this over 3 other restaurants


----------



## chefboyog

16 oz Porterhouse, burnt. Fathers day; only steak sold that night, won't forget that one.

Filet Mignon, well done. 10 minutes after close ( midnight). First shift at a large hotel. 

The things we do.


----------



## brewdog

The steak orders annoy me. I cook offshore on ships and oil rigs. I always have to ask them, "Do you want restaurant well-done or offshore well-done?" Offshore well-done means burn the s--t out of it.

And there was one dive superviser that always ordered medium rare and would send it back because there was red in the middle.

And my favorite saying, "Oh, the gravy is salty? Do you know why the gravy is salty? Because it's GRAVY!"


----------



## brewdog

I work offshore, and I always have to ask the guys, "Do you want restaurant well-done or offshore well-done?" Offshore well-done means to burn the hell out of it.  And there was one dive supervisor that would always ask for medium rare steak and then send it back because there was pink in the middle. Sigh.

And here's my favorite saying. "Oh, the gravy is salty? Do you know why the gravy is salty? Because it's GRAVY!"


----------



## tazp

A few weeks ago an order comes in: a certain salad, but substitute all the ingredients for others, no dressing, add two strips of bacon on top (WTF?!). The waitress looked really apologetic as she brought the check. I finished banging my head on the chopping board and made the salad, all the while making low-pitched grunting noises. Then I watched the plate being carried to the customer who looked at it carefully, picked every ingredient, sniffed it and put it back on the plate. And all of a sudden I wasn't angry any more - I realised that the lady was suffering from some serious OCD. It must have taken her some effort to even come out and eat food that she didn't cook. How can I be angry with someone who is genuinely unwell? I would make her a plate of her favourite weirdness any day. It was an interesting learning curve.


----------



## crookymonster

I have had a afternoon tea order who was gluten free but wanted macaroons with it


----------



## kuan

TazP said:


> A few weeks ago an order comes in: a certain salad, but substitute all the ingredients for others, no dressing, add two strips of bacon on top (WTF?!). The waitress looked really apologetic as she brought the check. I finished banging my head on the chopping board and made the salad, all the while making low-pitched grunting noises. Then I watched the plate being carried to the customer who looked at it carefully, picked every ingredient, sniffed it and put it back on the plate. And all of a sudden I wasn't angry any more - I realised that the lady was suffering from some serious OCD. It must have taken her some effort to even come out and eat food that she didn't cook. How can I be angry with someone who is genuinely unwell? I would make her a plate of her favourite weirdness any day. It was an interesting learning curve.


Good for you. Sometimes we forget the reason (part of) we are there.


----------



## margo conklin

Actually, oat milk tastes smooth and creamy


----------



## ldiatone

ToyDuJour said:


> Egg Beaters Sunny Side Up
> 
> Chicken Florentine - Pittsburg (Server thought Pittsburg just meant Blackened)
> 
> I've spent several years at beach side resorts
> 
> Crab Legs - no shell
> 
> Peel and Eat Shrimp - Peeled.
> 
> Yeah, I'm totally going to shuck your food for you, want me to chew it too?


Chicken Florentine - Pittsburg ???? dont know this one?


----------



## someday

crookymonster said:


> I have had a afternoon tea order who was gluten free but wanted macaroons with it


French macarons are made with almond flour and, to my knowledge, are gluten free.

Italian macaroons are different but still made with egg white and almond...no flour involved.

And coconut macaroons shouldn't have flour in them either, I think they are usually made with condensed milk and egg whites...but I don't remember 100%.

Sounds like you were wrong about this issue, just FYI.


----------



## crookymonster

We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens


----------



## flipflopgirl

crookymonster said:


> We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens


Don't know what to tell ya but @Someday is spot on.

Classic macs have no wheat products at all .

Check with your vendor.

The manufacturer may be swapping in a cheap filler...

mimi


----------



## someday

crookymonster said:


> We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens


That sounds like your failure not the guest's. I think someone would have a reasonable expectation that a macaron wouldn't have gluten in it.


----------



## flipflopgirl

Someday said:


> crookymonster said:
> 
> 
> 
> We buy them in and the ingredients says it has flour in bold for allergens
> 
> 
> 
> That sounds like your failure not the guest's. I think someone would have a reasonable expectation that a macaron wouldn't have gluten in it.
Click to expand...

Long shot..... could have used an old WW2 recipe for flour based buttercream or maybe a roux thickened pastry cream instead of buttercreams built on meringue or a dollop of jam.

Maybe @crookymonster (lol that screen name...I am jealous ;-) will scan the ingredients portion of the box and we can play Dick Tracey.

mimi


----------



## crookymonster

I just checked the box again and it does say contains flour gluten in bold anyway I don't want to argue lol


----------



## flipflopgirl

No problems....

We all have to dance with the demon of the FDA labeling standards office.

May they occupy a very hot space (along with whoever helped squeeze the ACA under the door and over the threshold) for eternity.

People don't need that much info and IME will only use it to further the confusion.

mimi


----------



## ldiatone

here is one i forgot...use to use veal top rounds for veal cutlets.  member, who owns his own restaurant,  tells the server i'm using pork instead of veal.  i say to tell the fellow to come on back and watch me slice the veal and pound it out.  he shut up


----------



## capecodchef

Today's winner....."Veggie Burger, well done, no blood."


----------



## cm-chef

By far ( chef for over 25 years)
' chilean Seabass hold the chili ".


----------



## kittyk

Customer requested Tuna Poke "well done." Had to gently explain that it didn't really work that way.


----------



## jimmer

mckallidon said:


> Haha YES! I worked in a few diners and this one across from a huge university had tons of vegans and weirdos come in, and we would always laugh at the vegans that would go out of their way to ask us to change our gloves (what gloves lol) and other stupid stuff, because when they got homefries or hashbrowns, they were always smothered in bacon grease! We had this special we would do on the weekend for them with grilled portobello, peppers, onions, homefries and toast, and they'd always get bacon grease and butter, and they always really appreciated it.


Hilarious!

I can top that, though. We catered an art opening, baking cakes. Since the artist was celiac, some of the cakes were gluten free and others not. Serving implements were to be strictly segregated. Some of the staff slipped up, and served the GF cake with the Wheat implements.

I saw the artist three weeks later. She said the weeping sores on her back had closed up, though the itching was still driving her crazy.

Another customer went vegan all of a sudden. We slipped her one of her old favorite dishes, just to test her. She got heart palpitations, but they weren't life threatening. She just laid down for a bit and drank some water, and they passed in an hour or so, she didn't even have to go to the hospital. She told us that happens every time she eats animal products. We laughed for hours!!

-----

Seriously, folks, these weren't my customers, they were my friends, and these things didn't happen in my restaurant because we care about our customers. If they want eggs easy, we don't give them pancakes. If they want vegan, we don't slip them butter as a test. You never know if it's life threatening or if it's for other reasons (many observant Jews order vegetarian, it makes their diets simpler.) Sometimes it's easier to say allergic than to try to explain the new diet you are on, trying to control your Crohn's or IBS or weight issues or hypoglycemia or even your simple food preferences.

So keep up with the jokes, and make sure the customers suspect it's them you are laughing at. Sooner or later it thins the herd, and the places that understand it's the HOSPITALITY business will get busier, because they understand it's as simple as being hospitable and acting like you care.

Chilean sea bass, hold the chili. I split a gut when I read that.


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## erickl201

One afternoon there was a ticket for an arugula salad "allergy to cats" haha can't make this up.


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## cronker

We had one of those people who kindly hand you a business card with all their allergies listed. "Please ensure it reaches the chef" she sniffed as she waved the server away. My server was quite upset because she had been very nice to this couple and had received very poor interaction from them. They were treated her like a servant. So, as manager, I told her I would take over, but to watch how I did things.

So Mrs Allergy tells me that her last server was incompetent. I ask why, and she replies "well, she looked new."
"She is new, m'am, but we've all been new at sometime," I reply.
"Well, I expect someone who is able to understand my allergies. She could have killed me!"
"I'm sorry, but she told me about your card, and I am here now to make sure your meal is wonderful!"

(At this point, another of my staff grabbed me and whispered in my ear that chef was having a conniption) 

"M'am, we are more than happy to look after your dietary requirements, but could you please review your menu and I will return to take your order?"
"No! Do NOT go away! I have questions!" She was yelling by now.
I was getting pissed now, and so were the other guests all staring at her and shaking their heads.

But then chef comes out and grabs me. He pushes me back and addresses the table himself.

"Madam, I have read your dietary requirement card, and I'm sure I can make a lovely meal for you. But you forgot to mention that you are also allergic to being a nice person and manners, so you can fuck off right out of this restaurant NOW!"

The look on her face was priceless.
God, I loved that chef!


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## chefdwilliams

I always love the steak comments.

"Ill have my steak extra rare but no blood" ????

worst is you make this great special for the night and a guest just totally changes every single thing... drives me nuts.

When I owned a couple restaurants I would switch cooking in each place every couple nights. i would get the dreaded "its just not as good when you don't cook it, tonight was great because you were here to cook it"... yeah right... I was working on something totally different and my line cooks cooked it like they do every night, yet because he THOUGHT I cooked it, it was perfect.

almost to many weird things to remember

Had another as a private chef... making pizza for the family kids... dad pops in says " can you make another larger pizza for my buddies, 1/2 regular dough and 1/2 gluten free?" What?huh?


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## chefross

Chefdwilliams said:


> I always love the steak comments.
> 
> "Ill have my steak extra rare but no blood" ????
> 
> worst is you make this great special for the night and a guest just totally changes every single thing... drives me nuts.
> 
> When I owned a couple restaurants I would switch cooking in each place every couple nights. i would get the dreaded "its just not as good when you don't cook it, tonight was great because you were here to cook it"... yeah right... I was working on something totally different and my line cooks cooked it like they do every night, yet because he THOUGHT I cooked it, it was perfect.
> 
> almost to many weird things to remember
> 
> Had another as a private chef... making pizza for the family kids... dad pops in says " can you make another larger pizza for my buddies, 1/2 regular dough and 1/2 gluten free?" What?huh?


Ah....but Chef.......you WERE there, so in the customers eye,the steak was great, even if you didn't cook it. It's a shmooze thing eh?


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## joeytwilight

Filet mignon butterflied and cooked extra well with ketchup on the side. We didn't even have ketchup in the kitchen let alone in the whole place. One of the servers had to go next door to ruby tuesday and borrow a bottle.


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## mazaradhe

Not so much a stupid order, but what happened after is what makes it stupid. Lol. Last table of the evening, 12 top, easy peasy all the same thing. Twelve carpet baggers ( crab stuffed filet mignon, MR, topped with a smoked bernaise. ) I had backstage tickets to a Bob Dylan show in Atlanta that night and was in a rush to get out of the kitchen. For the first time in many years, in my haste, I broke the sauce!! Steaks and crab are plated, I struggle to crack eggs and separate while heating more butter rather too quickly. I nail the next sauce while the dishes are being topped as they are leaving the kitchen. I gather my stuff and prepare to stop by the table, every single person at the table had drenched their plates in ketchup. No sheet!! Freaking ketchup. I left without comment. Silly dirty south. Lol


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## kaiquekuisine

WTF is up with people putting ketchup on File Mignon?!

First butterflied and with ketchup then ketchup with bernaise. I don´t get it <_<.

I almost think of it like a back hand slap to the cook´s face. Then again i never understood ketchup, maybe it´s because im allergic to it...


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## pat babcock

I remember once being asked to produce a "fill it mig non" extra well done. Of course, I was 16 at the time and on the broiler at a Ponderosa. One expects to occasionally be required to serve philistines in such an establishment /img/vbsmilies/smilies/cool.gif

@KaiqueKuisine: My adult kids put ketchup on any beef or pork (or venison), and Ranch dressing or Yucatan Sunshine on just about everything else. I'm usually BEGGING them to at least taste it before slathering it with sauces. Generally, when I'm in the kitchen, it isn't to produce pedestrian fare requiring of such treatment...


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## ldiatone

just remembered this one..."Fillet Mignon, what kind of fish is that?"


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## berndy

Sauerkraut------hold the cabbage/img/vbsmilies/smilies/drinkbeer.gif


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## berndy

I'll have the frenched  Rack of  lamb but not from France. I  don't like my food to come from so far away.


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## flipflopgirl




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## deafberlinchef

Today we got an order of a Caesar Salad without Bacon and Chicken well done /img/vbsmilies/smilies/surprised.gif


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