# On a ledge... need talking down.



## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## chefwriter (Oct 31, 2012)

Get out. Get out now. The right thing is for the chef to tell the kid to shut his mouth and pay you what you are worth. You are not being respected in practice or pay. They don't deserve the respect your staying would represent.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

Well first if I had my choice of catering or restaurant cook/chef Id take catering any day but that's me...

I left a job after 2 months, for different reasons--its tough to do, but I agree there's no future for you here,

only misery and more misery. Not only do I doubt you'll ever be paid what you're worth but its likely

the chef will raise the kidass and leave you where you are. What would you do then? Quit? Some things

are "inevitable Mr Anderson."/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif

So when you do leave, I would tell your Chef (if he even cares) that in your opinion the way he's running the kitchen is

foolhardy and he's heading fro trouble down the road. And that you have far too much self respect to keep your wagon

hitched to a sinking ship, skippered by a Captain who lies.

Oh and my ex employer lied to me too BTW. Luck.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

Don't walk- run from that place!  Sounds like a hellhole.  You have to have some pride in your job to look at yourself in the mirror each morning.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

This happens all the time. Employers interview folks, make all kinds of promises (with vague qualifiers) to get them to sign on, then don't deliver.

Set your rate value for yourself and stick to it from the get go. If they want you, they will negotiate.

Every employer knows how hard it is to hire and retain good employees. If you are that good, they will do what they can to keep you.

It's less expensive to pay a good employee more than to hire a bunch of "bodies" and be in a state of perpetual training with revolving door staff.


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## alaminute (Aug 22, 2013)

Why should you break your back and be miserable to maintain a deal that the other party has already welched on?


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## cstanford (Jul 3, 2008)

Go ahead and bolt, love.  I surely would.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

What a nice way to end it, giving a hug , good on you ! 

No regrets, have no regrets. Move on with your career and chuck it all up to experience . 

Way to go, feels good I'm sure .


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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

Good to hear you're feeling relieved about it all.

And even better to know we helped a bit.

From what you've said, I have no doubt your ex Chef will quickly come to regret

that last hug, when he realized the SS he opted for over you is exactly that.

I foresee a firm forehead slapping in his near future. lol


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## soesje (Dec 6, 2012)

yes I sure can relate to you and what women be treated like in the kitchen.

chefs overlooking us.

we have to stand up for ourselves and fight for it.

you did the right thing, I'm proud of you and hope a better place will be there for you soon!!

take no crap!!!! and a HUG from me for you!


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## Apprentichef (Oct 21, 2010)

Good for you. The days of the misogynistic testosterone fueled kitchen need to be gone. I don't care if your reproductive organs are internal or external as long as you ain't sinking the ship.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

> What a nice way to end it, giving a hug , good on you !
> 
> No regrets, have no regrets. Move on with your career and chuck it all up to experience .
> 
> Way to go, feels good I'm sure .


What @petalsandcoco said. Onward and upward. The hug.... you are classy!


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## ed buchanan (May 29, 2006)

Sorry but to me it sounds like you have a slight attitude problem. Just because you have been in business longer then others does not mean you have the right to judge them.  That's the Chefs job. The chef should teach and explain to him regarding shallots not  you. Just do your job and stop worrying about everyone else.  By you telling chef this ones no good and that one is this or that , remember  he hired them and may  take your comments to mean  he doesn't  know what he is doing. I suggest you quit.

Start your next position by going in doing the work assigned and not judging or complaining. If you are good be it male or femle. it will be noticed and rewarded.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## beastmasterflex (Aug 14, 2013)

There's no need to overcompensate for your sex. Don't let it put a chip on your shoulder. Some people are gay, some are black, some are short, some are so perfect it makes everyone around them feel inadequate (my own personal cross to bear) the more you point out your differences the more people will notice them. I think ED was simply pointing out this chip on your shoulder, and you became abusive and defensive.


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## phaedrus (Dec 23, 2004)

Anyone that's spent any serious time in a pro kitchen knows sexism is rampant.  Sure, there are good kitchens but the bad ones outnumber the good in this respect.  YMMV.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## beastmasterflex (Aug 14, 2013)

And I'm totally sure the only problem the "lessers" will have with this is that you'll squat when you do so.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

Ladies and Gentlemen, please watch your language, some of the remarks are pushing the border of common decency.

Remember, if you have an issue with a specific user, take it to the PM (private message). Otherwise...


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

I've worked with many women in the kitchen, I've had several female Chefs, one female F & B, several female owners.  None of them ever had the need to point out that they were woman and I was a man.

The other observation I made--regardless if they were male or female, is that the ones in supervisory positions, or the ones moving into supervisory positions knew enough to not make statements like "I'm much better than him/her".


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

ED BUCHANAN said:


> Sorry but to me it sounds like you have a slight attitude problem. Just because you have been in business longer then others does not mean you have the right to judge them. That's the Chefs job. The chef should teach and explain to him regarding shallots not you. Just do your job and stop worrying about everyone else. By you telling chef this ones no good and that one is this or that , remember he hired them and may take your comments to mean he doesn't know what he is doing. I suggest you quit.
> 
> Start your next position by going in doing the work assigned and not judging or complaining. If you are good be it male or femle. it will be noticed and rewarded.


I'll have to agree with Ed...the OP's post to me comes off a little bit prima donna-ish, and kiss-assy. You said you've worked in this industry how long? because this sounds like a newbie complaint. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you were just hired there and you were making people "realize their place"? Were you hired to do that? to be a culinary instructor, or the safety and sanitation police? because most cooks are hired to do what they're told, without causing problems.


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## vic cardenas (Nov 11, 2012)

It sounds to me like if any one of us were in the same situation as Cook for Life that we would end up taking the same course of action as her. There sure is a lot of judgment being thrown around here now. This is a forum where we can pour our thoughts out to people in a similar profession. Surely, she isn't going around these people and telling them the same things she is telling us in confidence? ("I'm Better Than Youuuuuu!!!!!")  I think there is a little more room for a superiority complex here, rather than acting it out in real life. 

Surely, none of you would advise her to keep working for an incompetent chef who is clearly not a leader, work for peanuts, and be extremely frustrated with her work situation? Might as well advise her to keep her head down, shut up, and work at McDonald's. 

I've been in a similar situation. I had to call a sit down with my manager, tell him that I was quitting unless I was given a fat raise and a supervisor title. Luckily, I got it. I would have quit right there, with no notice, if I hadn't. I was borderline about to snap. It was extremely frustrating and I had to vent to some of my friends about it too.


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## redbeerd cantu (Aug 7, 2013)

Here's my sitch:

I started working in a Mediterranean grill. One man kitchen: Char broiler, flat top griddle, deep fryer, panini press and couple of industrial rice cookers.

Upon being hired, I was told that I would close the kitchen at 9pm, then clean and prep, or prep and clean to close; I'd be out between 1030-1130, depending on the amount of prep.  I was also told that after 90 days, I'd be given a formal evaluation and, depending on my performance, would be given a raise.

When I started in October of 2013, a heavy day for me would be 20-30 tickets.  I'd close at 9, clean, prep, and be done.

Traffic since then has tripled. We now have the kitchen staffed by two cooks for each shift. And the prep has tripled, too.  AND I do the dishes, by hand if the dishwasher is out of fluids or just plain broke down.

The kitchen's schedule is the same, but the owner will keep pushing tickets through until well after 9pm.  The prep is now so heavy that I don't leave until 1-130am.  And I haven't had a single evaluation, which I've asked for twice since I was hired.

I feel that I'm getting abused a little here.  My work on the line has tripled, the amount of prep and the time it takes has tripled.  And I'm cooking beyond the hours I signed on for.

I am thinking of demanding a raise or walking.  Am I in the right?

Peace


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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

Seems to me you have the advantage here.

If he says "walk",  then  he has to hire someone into the  triple workload, and either  pay

them more, or lie to them and hope they don't walk or demand a raise themselves.

Its not right of him to enjoy a drastic increase in business, and not compensate the help

that's MAKING that extra money accordingly.

He should either raise you for having added more work (which is seems wasn't intentional on his part)

or hire a dishwasher/combo/prepcook to let you concentrate on the hot-line chores.


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## redbeerd cantu (Aug 7, 2013)

This is exactly what I ended up with after consideration.  I don't think there's a way to not justify a pay raise.

I hope there's not some kind of surprise unexpected reaction when I inquire about the pay situation.


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## earl arredondo (Oct 21, 2012)

Pollopicu said:


> I'll have to agree with Ed...the OP's post to me comes off a little bit prima donna-ish, and kiss-assy. You said you've worked in this industry how long? because this sounds like a newbie complaint. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that you were just hired there and you were making people "realize their place"? Were you hired to do that? to be a culinary instructor, or the safety and sanitation police? because most cooks are hired to do what they're told, without causing problems.


There is guiding people to do it correct, or forcing them. Try leading by example, he's green, if you run into situations like that again, I would recommend instead of looking down of them for their improper technique. The man needs to be trained by a seasoned chef/ cooks. That's why you as a veteran is valuable, so you can train others properly. If one of my employees came to me talking about another persons wage as opposed to them, I'd probably shoot them down.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## kuan (Jun 11, 2001)

As self declared chief moderator I'm declaring this thread done.

Thank you everyone.


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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

> When a man has a problem working with women, there is no correct tone to take with him. Unless you have been in the situation, you have no idea. A dude with MUCh less experience and a bad attitude is a drag to work with. I'm sure you THINK you can make anyone a chef, but you can't. Believe me.
> 
> And for cryin' out loud people, if you feel the need to attack my character in defense of this person you've never met take a good long look at why you must do that. Are you ALWAYS combative and insulting or is it just on a thread on this forum? You've never met or worked with me, either. You seem to be gathering a lot of information based on what you think you know. I have moved on from this issue. I got good advice, I quit the job, started another and am too busy to keep returning to this crap.. Let it go. Move on. Really.





> And yes, sweetheart, my chef hired us all and said the "cream would rise to the top". You MUST have heard of the obvious pecking order that takes place in kitchens, yes? I am qualified to instruct someone who has less experience. Now, stop with the name calling and move on...


Holy temper tantrum. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif

Your former chef stated, "only the cream will rise to the top"....yet you quit. How is that rising to the top? don't get mad, I'm just asking..


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## pollopicu (Jan 24, 2013)

I could see how you had problems..


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## hugz2u (Jan 20, 2014)

Cook for life, I applaud you for having the balls to stand up for yourself and handle the matter with class and dignity. I have been there and been there myself. Glad to hear things working out. I can feel your sense of relief after leaving the place. Cooks are the ones that transition into chefs, so as far as hiring cooks to shut up and "do what they are told to do," despite how wrong, how unethical, how messed up, is beyond second class treatment. Decades ago, I was working as a cook where the employer told me that I would be paid minimum wage at the time during the first month of training. A month past, I have mastered my station, yet he didn't even bring up bringing up my wage to what we discussed at the time of hire. Was I supposed to just shut up, take it, do what I am told, keep my head down, and just continue without "causing trouble?" As a chef, do you hire cooks and expect them to never speak, do what they are told to do without saying a word, even when something needs to be brought to attention? Employers are busy, I get it. Sometimes they forget things. That is why speaking up is necessary sometimes. Imagine where all the great chefs that started out as dishwashers and prep cooks would be if they did nothing but _do what they were told to do _without ever speaking up.


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## chef torrie (Mar 1, 2011)

Cook for Life said:


> Thanks to all. I got busy. Don't have time for chit chat. Cheers!


Umm in an earlier post you declared sexism exists in every kitchen. Please don't generalize; because in my kitchen this couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, at some places I have certainly witnessed What you speak of, but certainly not in every single establishment.


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

Integrity in life and work mean everything! Yes things will happen always, but how we deal with them at that moment will be our moment to teach, learn and move above! If I am in the right then I do not care your position with the company as the conversation ends with the truth! I have an old saying I learned in the military far to long ago) which is " Do Right and fear no Man" or woman which is a new addition as when I broke out in this field there were very few women working the back of the house. It is much easier to live this way then to lower yourself to the expectations or lack of to others! I do not come to work to make friends and my work does not define me as a person! No matter how much time I spend in the work place I have a life and a family which comes first and my job as chef is well my job. You have to look at your own make up and see if you are a person who can be confrontational and direct and truthful or not and roll with it. Most (not all) good chefs have this ability and even though it can be hard at times we just do the right thing! I mean what else is there to do, do the wrong things? I think not as our lives have developed a pattern of doing things right being a recipe, budgets, or human resource work so if I was you with all of your experience I would start looking at my people skills and how to deal with rough situations as this is just life and letting bad circumstances fester can only bring you down! Keep cooking, Doug...


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)

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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

Cook for Life said:


> How do you find the time for this nonsense?


How do you?


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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## cook for life (Apr 22, 2014)




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## meezenplaz (Jan 31, 2012)

I never understood why so many people have to make 
things so personal on this board. Verging on personal attacks. 
Its chased a lot of good people away IMO.


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