# How to deal with kitchen a*******



## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

Well I'm 19 I started working in at this hotel when I was 17 I was always playfully picked on since I was and still am the youngest.  We just recently got a new guy and they are beginining to treat me as if he is above me.  They always complain that im messy (Which i need to improve on).  They also said to someone that they just dont like me.  They stated that they wanted to train the new guy to be better than me because it would make be look stupid because I am going to school for culinary.  The other day one of the other line cooks told me to work in the pantry while they had the new guy working on the hot line.  I really didnt mind,but if they do this consitantly I am going to start to take it as an insult.  I find that mistakes that I do are magnified and made bigger than they are,but if they make a mistake its no big deal.  I am the only one that really works all over I guess you consider me a "Roundsman"  I would work the night shift ,and then have to work the morning shift the next morning.  I find that I dont get credit for my improvments,but only get called out on my flaws. The Executive chef really doesnt get involved in all of this petty nonsense,but I just want to know how to deal with people like this.  I know this is the industry,but its starting to take a big toll on my emotions becuase I use to like going to work now I am just getting tired of the disrespect.


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## i walk the line (Jan 29, 2012)

Stand up for yourself. People in general and especially in this industry will walk all over you if you let them


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

1) Respect is earned.  You can never demand it, and those who do will always fail.

2) Who are "They"???????  Who does the scheduling and why?  Why does the Chef trust this person to do the scheduling?

3) It looks like co-wokers are feeding off of your emotions.  The more emotion you give them, the more they will "get you" just to get a bigger kick watching you get worked up.  Once you can stop this cycle things will  improve.

4) In any kitchen you go to, you will always be the "New guy".  Some can pass this stage in a day or two and have everyone working with them, and some never get over it. Which one will you be?.


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

Call out the biggest trouble-maker, right there in front of everyone else. Tell him everything you've told us. That should end things. If it continues, push him out the back door and punch the bageebies out of him. That's what I would do at your age. I'm now 50-yo, and because of that, earlier this year I walked out of, and away from, a Michelin_***_ restaurant. I wish I would have gone with the recommendation I gave you instead. Until you have some kitchen/street credibility you are going to get abuse. Now if your culinary skills aren't worth the time it takes to read this post, all bets are off. You get what you get.


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## ari9 (May 5, 2012)

Sorry kid to put it to you like this, but what you described is called LIFE. It's just taking place in a kitchen with a-holes with jackets that have a lot of buttons on them. People push you around because they can... simple as that. As long as they can they will. If the Chef can't help you or wont tan no one can help you, but you. Iceman was right on all count but one, IMHO. No matter how much "street cred" you have people will still push you around if you let them... wait I just said that!  I'm repeating myself... That's the way the world works.

As for how to deal with them, it's up to you. I can't really say what you should do. You have to take charge of the situation and 19 is a great age to start.

Hope this helps.

Ari


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

""They always complain that I am messy''and I have to improve on  it.?? How long have they been telling you this?? Think about it.   Have you improved on it?    Or are they sick of claeaning up after you. ?    All questions to ponder.


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## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

chefedb said:


> ""They always complain that I am messy''and I have to improve on it.?? How long have they been telling you this?? Think about it. Have you improved on it? Or are they sick of claeaning up after you. ? All questions to ponder.


They have been telling me about it I have improved I learned to have a small bucket under my station and a wet rag in water,but when I did that they said it was stupid that I had that there. They just dont complain about what I do. One guy complained about me going to college for culinary telling me theres no point. One of the line cooks that has been there for a long time would tell me to do one thing,and then when the executive chef gets on the line he would tell me to to another. So then I ask my self "Who do I listen to?" I personally listen to the Executive Chef because hes my boss then when I listen to him about how to make a certain dish they say i'm a suck up.


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

Chefedb has given you some excellent food for thought. Sometimes if you are getting the same information from a number of people, as in "they", there may be some credence to what is being said. It may be hard, but take the information they are passing along to you through their words and actions and look only for your part in it. Sometimes there is nothing there that is your part, it is all just them, but If you can find your part in it, look for ways to improve.


> The other day one of the other line cooks told me to work in the pantry while they had the new guy working on the hot line. I really didnt mind,but if they do this consitantly I am going to start to take it as an insult.


Let me start off by saying that cross training is very important and maybe it was time for the new guy to get his feet wet. That being said, if I am really good at working the hot line, the people that I work the line with are not going to want me off the line (unless they have masochistic tendencies and like to work harder), whether they like me or not. When things are really hopping, I would rather work with an efficient jerk than my best friend who gets in the weeds, needs help, and makes my life harder because of it.

Why did they want the new guy on the line? If it was cross training, not your part. If it was a personality thing, not your part. Now come the hard questions. How is my work on the line? Do I get in the weeds? Do I need help? Can I keep up? The biggie and most difficult, do I make my co-workers life harder due to my work habits?

I have been in the industry for a long time now and the last question is still a relevant one that I ask myself all the time. If I am honest with myself, I can still always find areas, in my work habits, that I can improve upon. The day that I can't find any, is the day that I need to walk away from my career because I no longer have the mindset that I value.


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

The quote button won't work on Iceman's post, but you should read it again.  A lot of red flags in there.

1) If you "punch some one out" at work, even if it is at the back door, expect violence to get violence--expect retribution--especially if you feel you are the "odd man out". 

2) Do not "call some one out in front of everyone" because you feel your feelings are hurt.  Call someone out if they tried to poison someone, yes, if they left the gas on and blew the pilot light out, sure, if they put a steaming bucket of soup in the walk-in, yes.  But your feelings and your percieved treatment by co-workers, NO. 

Like I said in my first post respect is earned it can not be demanded. It can never be demanded, and if forced, usually ends up very badly for the demander.  You can't fight this, it's kind of like arguing that the law of gravity is wrong.

3) Iceman is now 50 years old and still working the line, and can not last more than a day a Michelin * kitchen.  Do you really want his advice?


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## chefchrisd (May 20, 2012)

Alright dude. Here's what's up:

1. "They always complain that im messy (Which i need to improve on)." Then work cleaner!!! Respect and getting people to like you in this business means stepping up and working just like (or better) than everyone else around you. If you are the weakest link, no one will like you and that's just how it goes. Step it up.

2. "They also said to someone that they just dont like me." See above.

3. "The other day one of the other line cooks told me to work in the pantry while they had the new guy working on the hot line.  I really didnt mind,but if they do this consitantly I am going to start to take it as an insult." I'd HOPE you're taking it as an insult! That is YOUR spot on the line. You need to want it. Take ownership. You need to drop a set of balls and say that is your spot and let the new guy work pantry.

4. "I find that mistakes that I do are magnified and made bigger than they are,but if they make a mistake its no big deal." Don't make mistakes. In this business you need to be perfect.

5. "I am the only one that really works all over I guess you consider me a "Roundsman"  I would work the night shift ,and then have to work the morning shift the next morning." Tough position you're in, because you have to bond and assimilate with different shifts which makes things even harder. But you need to find a way.

The bottom line is, don't take it personally. This is just business. Develop things outside your job that you can take pride in, that way you won't feel like a piece of crap when people talk down to you at work. It's just a job man. Treat it like one. If they don't like you, who cares? Put your head down and just work. Eventually they will come around once they see you are putting in 110% to everything you do. Attention to detail, sense of urgency and cleanliness. Work on those three things and everything will come. Good luck and if you're not prepared to give 110%, go work at McDonalds.

Chris


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## kingfarvito (May 7, 2012)

You're 19 yes, but how much experience do you have? How is your line work. If you can't hold your station down maybe you need to get back to basics. We have a guy at work that can't do a damned thing right, and I'm sure he feels the same because the kitchen is a place that will let you know when you're messing up. If these people are some to pull you out of the weeds and have to clean your whole station for you first and then restock your mise, then that's the issue. In my experience people wont give you shit for nothing. I caught a lot of shit when I started because I was messing up, now I don't mess up and I don't get yelled at.

A few tips for you that might help

Keep EVERYTHING in a decided on place. Everything means even the smallest 1/9 pan full of garnish or your water cup goes in the same spot every day.

After you get done plating wipe down your board.

Put everything back in place after you use it.

Keep 2 dry towels 1 wet towel and a sani bucket in your station.

Preform well get treated well, thats how life works.

From now on when people start harping on you look at what you're doing wrong, not why they're being assholes.

I wish you the best of luck, but it sounds like you're not preforming so you're not getting rewarded. Fix that and I'm sure things will change.


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## thetincook (Jun 14, 2002)

My advice is pretty simple, and mostly reflects what the other guys said.

1) Toughen up Buttercup. You're 19, still young, self conscious, and insecure. I was, and I bet most everyone else here was too when they were that age. You need to develop the ability to not take the criticisms personally. If the criticisms are legitimate, you should heed them. If they are illegitimate, then who cares. You're a professional, there to work, not waste time doing the 'mean girls' routine. It's important to note that the atmosphere in the professional cooking environment isn't conducive to a nice, pleasant, communication style. So things will sound much ruder and harsher then they are intended to be. You'll learn to filter that out. Also, somethings are just matters of different style. i.e. You learn to make tarter sauce at a restaurant that puts mustard in it. At your next place, they ask you to make tarter sauce, and you do it the way you know, then ride your butt because you put mustard in. Big deal, More then one way to make tarter sauce, and nobody told you this places secret recipe. No need to beat yourself up for it.The worst part about it, is that you're (the rhetorical you) spending so much time thinking about how you messed up, and what the other guys think about your messing up, that it starts to screw with your head, and your work suffers. You're psyching yourself out.

2) Confidence/balls are important to getting ahead in life, so grow some. This is closely related to 'never let them see you bleed/sweat/cry'

3) Screw all the interpersonal bullsh*t. Focus on improving your skills and fundamentals. This is important because you will better once your mind is occupied with skill mastery and not what those jerkoffs are saying, and because that kind of stuff will slacken off as your skills get better.


IceMan said:


> Call out the biggest trouble-maker, right there in front of everyone else. Tell him everything you've told us. That should end things. If it continues, push him out the back door and punch the bageebies out of him. That's what I would do at your age. I'm now 50-yo, and because of that, earlier this year I walked out of, and away from, a Michelin_***_ restaurant. I wish I would have gone with the recommendation I gave you instead. Until you have some kitchen/street credibility you are going to get abuse. Now if your culinary skills aren't worth the time it takes to read this post, all bets are off. You get what you get.


Seriously? Starting a fight is a good way to get your self fired. Not to mention the legal consequences, and possibility of a felony following you around for the rest of your life. It's a fricking kitchen, not prison.

Food Pump, I had to go to the full page editor to get quote to work right.


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## duckfat (Aug 7, 2008)

foodpump said:


> Iceman is now 50 years old and still working the line, and can not last more than a day a Michelin * kitchen. Do you really want his advice?


 /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif Where's the like button?/img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif

This thread reminds me of some of the ba** busting blue blood CMC's I've worked under and how challenging it can be when your a young Chef.

Not every personality fits in with every crew.

The big kitchen can be a brutal place. Expose a weakness and others will exploit it.

Learn to suck it up and get along because this is no place for the needy types that are looking for a slap on the back.

I worked under a CMC for a professional sports team years ago. This was a big kitchen in every sense. Flight kitchens on multiple floors. Multiple dining rooms, multiple banquet rooms, pastry, butcher, hot line, ice carving every day etc.

The chef would belch out " C L E A N UP!" loud enough to shake the rafters and the entire place would come to a screetching halt with every one scrambling to clean for five minutes. Very intimidating at first but the Chef was truly fantastic. I learned a lot and had much respect for him.

But there was never an easy day.

Straighten your toque, toughen up and learn to keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.

Never show weakness, never complain and never listen to a 50 year old line cook about getting physical.

I've seen some good people make some bad choices like that and I have never seen it end well.

Best of luck now get back to work!

Dave


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## Iceman (Jan 4, 2011)

_*LOL. Crack me the love up!!!*_

OK. I've been called out myself now by the know-all experts of the food world. Hey _*rocktrns*_, it's really good advice to listen to these guys, as long as you are ready to continually take abuse.

Some of you guys need to come back to Earth and realize that we don't work in any rocket-surgery profession, but the real world of $8-$10/hr jobs. I work in Michelin_***_ restaurants because _I CAN_. I chose to walk away from situations because of experience. The real world isn't TV _Docudramaland_ or _FoodNetwork_. It's real work.


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## michaelga (Jan 30, 2012)

> The chef would belch out " C L E A N UP!" loud enough to shake the rafters and the entire place would come to a screetching halt with every one scrambling to clean for five minutes.


I like that...might have to figure out a way to fit that in during the 'crazy' shifts. Thanks.


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## petemccracken (Sep 18, 2008)

A reminder to all, the OP is looking for assistance, if you have some, post it.

If you disagree with another poster, feel free to offer alternatives, *BUT KEEP PERSONAL DIFFERENCES OUT OF THE DISCUSSION! *

If you have a personal problem with a poster, discuss it via PM and resolve it or PM a moderator and we'll resolve it, probably not to the satisfaction of either party to the dispute but certainly to the community.

In other words, as previously posted with a slightly modified meaning: *"CLEAN UP, NOW!"*


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

To solve by violence is not to solve it only festers and reoccurs. Punch them out and you get  sued or hurt yourself So what did that solve? Just hold your head up and ignore them, this makes you a bigger man and more mature then they are. Don't let them drag you down to their levels. Everything will work out in time.


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## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

I do agree there are allot of things I do need to work on.  I do disagree I am performing good I have signifigantly improved since I first started I'm faster and my products quality is good.  No one has to pull me out of the weeds we work together so if one person gets more tickets than the other one we help them out.  I've tried putting an sani bucket and a  normal bucket under my station,but they think its stupid.  I like putting parchment paper in on my sheet try to make it more cleaner they think thats stupid.  I like listening to what the executive chef says and how he wants the recipes done,but they like doing it there own way so when I do it the execs chef ways I get called out on it like I'm a suck up.  So there is allot more too it.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

I'm a grammar nazi. *breathe*

In New York state, where I am, it's actually a requirement to have a sanitizer bucket on every station. It's not a bad idea regardless. It's not a stupid idea, they're stupid. Listen to your EC. Do what he says, and do things how he tells you he wants them done. It's his operation, and he wants things done a certain way for a reason. Your job is to make every dish look like the EC himself made it, which will make him look good, which makes the kitchen look good, which in turn makes you look good. Don't sacrifice ethics or morals for peer acceptance. Do your job and do it well. Forget everyone else. Keep your station **clean**. In between the chaos, be wiping down anything that's got crap on it. Don't worry about the floor if you're really busy, just get crap off your station. Line sweeps will happen.


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## twyst (Jan 22, 2012)

rocktrns said:


> I like listening to what the executive chef says and how he wants the recipes done,but they like doing it there own way so when I do it the execs chef ways I get called out on it like I'm a suck up.


There is a reason he is the chef and they are line cooks.

Keep your head down, work clean and hard and laugh to yourself as they get passed over for promotions and you eventually become their boss.


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## lifeapprentice (Feb 25, 2012)

This just sounds like straight up Bullying. Regardless of what mistakes you makes, what things you do wrong,  at the end of the day it sounds like the rest of the crew get together and plot how to make your work life worse. That doesn't sound like a team trying to teach someone how to be better, sounds like they're bored and they want a punching bag. Its basic human behaviour; a group of people marginalizing an individual so that they feel more unified as a team at your expense. Same thing happens at my work with this one guy, everyone pays him s*** for mistakes, makes fun of him for trying new things and basically throws him around like a ball. When this guy is on his days off they talk s*** about him behind his back but never go as far as to plot against him. As for advice? Either work out how to react to their constant bully with either a stern 'hey f*** off, him not putting up with this s*** anymore' type of attitude or laugh it off/ don't take it to heart until they get bored of trying to get you to react and move on to something else to entertain them. If all else fails, leave. F*** what people say about 'this is the LIFE' and 'you gotta be tough in the kitchen', I've seen/experienced these things lead to emotional distress, depression and even suicidal tendencies. No job or work collegues has the right to put an individual through that for s*** and giggles. Depression is not something you want to develop.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Listen, Polly-Prissy-Pants.  Hazing happens in a kitchen.  Boo-freaking-hoo if you don't think people shouldn't have to deal with it.  You're in the wrong line of work if you think everything should just be peaches and cream every day.  He'll form a stronger bond for having endured it, provided he's doing his job properly, and he'll earn their respect.  You're giving him advice that'll get him fired.  Simmuh dah nah.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Is Jolly Roger still in Lake George. And there used to be a twin restaurant  2 sides  one gourmet one regular it was good can't remember name. It was on main drag out of town a bit freestanding building Greek owned. I am going back 35-40 years. And a Fort  was there ? And a Holiday Inn on main drAG USED TO BE A DINNER THEATER TYPE HOTEL.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Sad to say Lake George has changed a lot, even in my years.  The twins closed down 20(?) years ago.  The Fort (William Henry) is still there, however it's a spectacle now, they no longer have a proper gourmet kitchen, and they cater to tourists.  The Holiday Inn is still in operation, and they're just more of the same.  I'm happy to report that the Sagamore is still a top-notch operation, they still break down sides of beef in their butcher shop, for preparation and service in their kitchens.  There are a few more landmarks that are still around, "George's", "Capri", but the area is changing.


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

I  go to Lake George every year. I can't believe what happened to Fort William Henry. The food used to be terrific. The last time I was there we ate at Sushi Yoshi,  the Market place (breakfast), Capri. It has gotten to the point where I don't know where to eat anymore.

On Canada street the shops/restaurants change every couple of years. It gets to the point where I don't know where to eat anymore.

Sagamore ? Never been there . 

Petals.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

The Sagamore is a hotel.  Technically it's in Bolton Landing, further north, but right on the lake. I worked there during my glory days.  I love the fact that at least 2 of you know about my area, wheras it's an underpopulated piece of time most of the year, when summer hits we're busier than any big city, and the population is still 2500ish.


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

It used to be a wonderful destination for me. Sagamore was always top shelf. I used to stay in a cabin  which was one of many in a complex owned by a couple just North of town.  The Sagamore was Bolton Landing and if I remember correctly was in center of lake but I could be wrong it's been a long time.


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## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

Thanks for the advice!  Never relized it would get this many replies.  I like taking advice thats why I made this thread.  I have to learn how to not take things to seriously I'm 19 and I will learn.


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## petalsandcoco (Aug 25, 2009)

chefedb said:


> It used to be a wonderful destination for me. Sagamore was always top shelf. I used to stay in a cabin which was one of many in a complex owned by a couple just North of town. The Sagamore was Bolton Landing and if I remember correctly was in center of lake but I could be wrong it's been a long time.


Yes, it is Bolton Landing, The place has not changed . I forgot the name today but when I pulled out my pictures, that is the place. How can anyone not like Bolton ?

@ Rock: Your humble, you would not have posted if you were not. Good on you for getting your feelings out and seeking some advice. Your going to succeed, stay positive.

Petals.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

My parents grew up in Spring Valley and every summer they'd make the trek to Lake George, before the highway was built.  I'm curious, have either of you heard of "Massie's?"  It opened in 1919, it's right on route 9, right before you hit Glens Falls.  Family-run italian place, my grandparents used to stop there for spaghetti and meatballs, once on the way TO Lake George, once on the way home.  I had the honor of working there for almost 8 years, for a man that was white-haired, egotistical and downright unreasonable...but he was really good at what he did.  That was the man that was rolling meatballs back in the 1940's, and he kept rolling them until the died, which was last August.  He refused any help to run his business, right up to the end.


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## ongarde (Jun 4, 2012)

rocktrns said:


> One of the line cooks that has been there for a long time would tell me to do one thing,and then when the executive chef gets on the line he would tell me to to another. So then I ask my self "Who do I listen to?" I personally listen to the Executive Chef because hes my boss then when I listen to him about how to make a certain dish they say i'm a suck up.


Don't listen to them. I'm serious ....bring a pen and paper every day and get your directions specifically dictated from him, and him alone. If he tells you to talk to sous, then talk to the sous ...calling you a suck-up is part of their shtick unfortunately. I'd just respond by saying that, 'I like to be 100% assured that i'm not wasting time doing something useless... not for me or for you'.


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## kostendorf (Mar 15, 2012)

hey kid quit now become a eletricican or something i dont think you will last.


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## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

I just posted here to get advice on how to deal with people in the future.  Dont tell me to quit because I didnt get this far to give up.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Don't hate on the kid for asking questions, unless he's offended you in some way.  We're here to help.


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## dizzle (Jun 19, 2012)

your a kid your supposed to be treated like this. the kitchen is a  bitch. either get better faster cleaner or die. guys have been doing this for years, its our life our job and if your not good its obvious. sorry. but life sucks.


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Dude really?  No idea how you made it to sous, you've obviously got not interpersonal skills whatsoever.  I'd fire you for gross ignorance.  HELP the kid, don't debase him.  Jesus.


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## dizzle (Jun 19, 2012)

that better?


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## cheflayne (Aug 21, 2004)

Dizzle said:


> Thicker skin is needed





> Originally Posted by *Dizzle*
> 
> .
> 
> that better?


 yes


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## dizzle (Jun 19, 2012)

thank you chef,


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## ez13 (Mar 9, 2012)

> your a kid your supposed to be treated like this. the kitchen is a bitch. either get better faster cleaner or die. guys have been doing this for years, its our life our job and if your not good its obvious. sorry. but life sucks.


Your the guy with the same I worked my way up in this crappy job, it sucks, Im hardcore with my team of pirates blah blah blah every station blah blah 100 degree heat blah blah blah this station blah blah. You probably get paid crap still and aren't smart enough to figure out a way to make good money in the field and once you are given any power in the kitchen you will abuse it and treat people bellow you like crap and then pay them crap too continuing the cycle of a**holes in the kitchen. You are tough guy, pickin on a teenager in a kitchen with grown men, any one else that was too is also as tough and as hardcore him, I got tired of reading all this kitchen bravado crap. I know it it can be tough on the line on a Friday night at the Red Lobster but lighten up.


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## squirrelrj (Feb 18, 2011)

Dizzle said:


> dont bash me, guy, i was trying to say its a tough job and you need to prove yourself and grow in everyway or your not gonna make it. Ill show someone the menu, the plating, the prep the clean up, then do it. holding your hand and is not what im here for. Thicker skin is needed, and if your not getting along with the other guys, maybe you need to move on. I build my team and the good guys who can do what needs to be done, those guys you wanna help grow. I have worked with too many kids who have no buisness in the kitchen. everyone watches food network and wants to be a star, noone wants to sog it out in the trenches for 12 hours doing 400 covers a nite in 110 degree heat for years mastering every station every recipie anymore. Thats where i came from and still am. Thats all i was saying. Until I proved i should be their noone taught me anything. and I started at the bottom and through hard work and dedication made it. not with a cia degree. Work hard, be on time, and youll be fine.
> 
> that better?


Nobody taught you anything until you proved you belonged? sounds like someone I wouldn't want to work for in the first place.

BTW, it's a good thing basic writing and grammar aren't a necessary skill in a kitchen, boss.


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## stephen oliver (Jun 18, 2012)

I read through the first 22 posts so if this was mentioned already sorry ahead of time.

Personally keep your head up and keep trying harder. Ive went through sooo much shit i could write a novel on it. In my experiences however i do know that the best thing you can do is "*what your told"* go into work every day do your best. Strive to be better and always work harder to be better every single day

When i go into work now on the line and im doing 150 covers on a busy night, and i have a full board and i screw up a pasta on a 6 top. I have my sous chef going up one side of me and down the other because i just killed the entire table because of a pasta that i forgot to take off the heat while i was doing 20 other things. But i dont dwell on it. even while hes ... as some people will put "picking on me". I keep my mouth closed, because first and foremost during service your sous chef or executive chef the last thing theyre going to want to hear is excuses or reasons, they want results and i always provide them. And at the end of the day we all laugh it off give credit to each other and have a beer or so to relax afterwards.

What i lack in the kitchen with my knowledge of theory i more then compensate for with my work ethic. i bust my balls and give 110percent every day. I dont care if people talk about me when im not there because its a job i know im doing better then most people there. The management and people who matter recognize that and ive moved from second cook too Chef de Partie, because i know how to take criticism and turn it into results. I take insults on the chin like a man, i dont start confrontations, i get along with everyone i work with and when people do give me shit that i feel is un deserved i dont hesitate to call them out on it. And i dont mean like " hey man whats your fu**king problem" i mean "hey man, i dont think i deserved to be spoken too like that is there something im doing wrong that you feel the need to talk to me that way, or should we just both go into the executive chefs office and i can tell him what you just said" I know how to ignore and keep my mouth shut as too not get involved with "kitchen politics" and always strive to always be better.

Stephen


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

Don't let any of the above stop you from doing what you like. As you age you will mellow and get better. Also learn from some of the above what you should  not do in dealing with others. A good chef cooks well a great chef not only cooks well but is a mentor and example to his staff.


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## dizzle (Jun 19, 2012)

wow.


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## cookers (Jun 11, 2011)

One mistake I've made was becoming friends with people on the outside of work. Things really backfired when the best friend back-stabbed me and I have to see him and a few others every other day when they come in. Now I'm seen as the asshole. Why? Because I do every thing the way it's supposed to and they don't and I don't tolerate it. They want to make mistakes that beginners make when they are the ones who went to school for this and should know better. They want to call me out on things that's not even my job to do, but their own. Why do they single me out? Because I'm not one of them anymore. 

What do I do? I come into work every day with a smile laughing and joking with everyone including the ones who don't like me. 99% of the time, they ignore me and try to hold in their laughter. I do this though because it makes the job easier. They can't see me as a threat if I'm including them in everything I do. Only if I ignore them and do my own thing. They'll see me as someone who can easily run circles around them and it makes for competition. 

Keep work and life separated. As soon as you walk through the door, remove your attitude and get in a good mood. It's hard, but just do it. Get rid of the competition so none of them will perceive you as a threat. As crazy as this sounds, if you did something better than one of them, it would ruin them I'll bet and that's what they are afraid of so they don't want to show you anything. Ask them for help. It doesn't matter if you don't need help, just ask and include them in your project and give them credit for it. 

At the end of the day, they are the ones feeding off of a title. If they want to take credit for something, let them. What matters most is what you know and if you know you're good, that's all that matters. However one has to wonder how good they actually are. This is where your final product showcases your skills and you will be ripped to pieces with either good or bad results. In the end if you get fired or receive bad results, you weren't good enough so you get back out there and keep at it or find something you think you may be better at. If he gives you more responsibility, that's when you really know you're getting there. Once you walk out that door, get a new attitude. You're no longer at work.


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## foodpump (Oct 10, 2005)

Dizzle said:


> wow.


So....

Think you can do it?

I mean, be an example and mentor to your staff?


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Lizzle, Dizzle. I'm not bashing you outright, but as a working chef, _still_ in the trenches I'll laugh at your 400 covers and question your motivational ways. I've always been more of an educator than a [email protected] I had to work my way up, probably the way you did. It doesn't give me the right to talk down to even my dishwasher. It's a work of love. When we lose that love...what do we really have?


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## chefedb (Apr 3, 2010)

When I was younger I was like that . However when I took teacher training classes, it gave me a wholr new outlook and insight on how people think and  on handeling a staff. You truly earn respect by showing respect, never down anyone if possible and if you have to , do it in private. Choose your words carefully and think before you say something  sought of like Marriage ncounter ask yourself "How will my response or answer make you feel?"You truly get more Bees with H.oney


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## rbandu (Apr 30, 2012)

Exactly, Ed.


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## chefdave11 (Oct 27, 2011)

Listen, Kid.  You're in the middle of a process.  Let's say you're young, intelligent, a "good worker", have a good attitude, realize you know very little but are very eager to learn. You're working in the field, you're going to culinary school.  And let's say you're not sporting an unrealistic or disillusioned view of yourself.

That's all good.  Don't worry about the guys giving you crap and bullying you.  There's possibly some jealousy going on, and maybe you come from the "other side of the tracks".  Maybe being arrested has been in their past, but it's not in your future.  You're clean-cut, responsible, ambitious and have a future with a high ceiling.  That's something none of these bullies can claim, and picking on you helps them feel better about their own shiiitty lives.

Keep your nose to the grind (cliche, sorry), and do everything you can to improve and self-educate outside of work and outside the confines of school.  Read, experiment, practice on your own time.  Have failures on your own time, and learn from them.


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## rocktrns (Mar 14, 2010)

ChefDave11 said:


> Listen, Kid. You're in the middle of a process. Let's say you're young, intelligent, a "good worker", have a good attitude, realize you know very little but are very eager to learn. You're working in the field, you're going to culinary school. And let's say you're not sporting an unrealistic or disillusioned view of yourself.
> 
> That's all good. Don't worry about the guys giving you crap and bullying you. There's possibly some jealousy going on, and maybe you come from the "other side of the tracks". Maybe being arrested has been in their past, but it's not in your future. You're clean-cut, responsible, ambitious and have a future with a high ceiling. That's something none of these bullies can claim, and picking on you helps them feel better about their own shiiitty lives.
> 
> Keep your nose to the grind (cliche, sorry), and do everything you can to improve and self-educate outside of work and outside the confines of school. Read, experiment, practice on your own time. Have failures on your own time, and learn from them.


I thank you for this post it really made my day.

all's I want to do is learn and do things the right way. I like that I am going to school and working at the same time. I started when I was a junior in high school at the hotel now I am in culinary school. So I can learn practical from impractical. I can also experiement what I learn in class and take it to the work enviroment. In no way am I prefect and I have a long way to go,but I also have to learn not to take things so serious or take things to heart. I have worked on becoming cleaner and I also noticed going fast isnt always good sometime slowing down just abit and making things the right way will bring better quality food.

Once again Thank You for your post.


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## lalalala (Dec 7, 2011)

I'm going through the same issues as everyone right now, its hard working in a kitchen especially when ur told you are slow and stuff.Im a apprentice right now,

Any tips someone would like to share with me?


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## smork (Aug 27, 2012)

do the right thing


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## ummwaterstock (Sep 30, 2012)

It just sounds like these guys don't respect you whatsoever, but like someone already said you have to earn that respect.  Take the negative s$%# they say and turn it into something positive. Do your job and there's better than them.  But all in all you have to stand up for yourself or they are going to keep on doing what they already have been..


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## dazzler (Jul 25, 2014)

I think theirs certain sub-classifications with being an **** in the kitchen. ......for sous and head chefs that is. Sous are meant to guide in the right direction with everything. Of course get angry or abusive if somethings fucked up because food is money. .. but, I believe that you work your ass off for the position that you get, and then push so more, to achieve the best. But when you have a sous that doesn't work hard at all... steps out of the kitchen before service time to have a sit down and chat with someone, is just uh.... ******!!!!!


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