# The Life We Have Chosen



## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

The life path we as cooks have taken has led us all down various
paths , but we all have still wanted the same things in life as others do . Time off , time with family , time with friends and maybe time with your own self . Why does our job require so much time ? Why can't we be relieved after an 8 hour shift or better yet why must we work 2 jobs to make ends meet !How much time have you spent on the phone with the significant other while at work just because you can't be there ! How much time talking to the children the same way ? All 3 of my children know this biz to some degree because of my long hours spent at work .
What is it about this food biz that drives us to make sure it always goes the way we want ? I can't complain ! I am fortunate to have a good job at the right time to raise my family but the cooks who work for me and the preps and dishwashers who I sometimes call upon to do long hours and hard work bring back always the memory of my struggle to attain the position of chef .
So how has this life as a food service worker affected your own self ? I myself still love the heat and just do the best I can .
Maybe Im wierd but I am hooked on this biz .
Whats your thoughts on this my friends? Doug..........


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## coolj (Dec 12, 2000)

We'll try this again, i had just written part of a reply and hit a wrong button and lost it all. I was saying that I was just mentioning stuff like this to some of the waitresses at work, I was joking about having a catch 22 job, because I'm working forty hours or more per week, but it's all graveyard shift. My thoughts were this, the hours are definetly not favorable, but I've worked there for eleven years (almost), so I have stability, I'm getting the hours, and that's important, so I really shouldn't complain. Because I get a paycheck twice a month, and I can pay my bills and occasionally buy some groceries, so that my parents don't have to pay for everything. I'm not a millionaire by any means but I get by. I suppose things are a little easier for me because I'm not married with a young family, I still live in my parents house, as odd as that sounds for a guy my age ( NO, I'm not forty, that would be just freaky). But Doug, you are right this business is addictive, I'm not sure what it is, but there is just something about being in the kitchen, maybe it's the knives or the hot oil or the flames, maybe it's the fact that things are almost never the same day to day, maybe it's a good way to vent a little anger etc... . It's just great to be in the kitchen.
I thought I needed therapy last spring LOL , because I was off work for a couple of months recovering from surgery, and I caught myself setting up an inventory for my kitchen at home, and writing menus for the week and making shopping lists according to my inventory and menu. At work that would have been normal, but on the home front it's a little different.
Peace,
Jeff.


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## chrose (Nov 20, 2000)

I am in a slightly different boat I think. When I was single and a chef it was great. I worked as many hours as I wanted and had no one to answer to, so I was free to do as I pleased. That also meant I was able to follow my passions as I pleased (culinarily speaking  ) So I did many things, co-owned a successful catering biz, small chocolate biz, chef at a fine dining restaurant. I could also afford to take many classes with Ewald Notter and have a ball playing with sugar! Then I got married and continued the lifestyle for awhile. However the 20 hour days caught up to me and caused severe health problems. So I went into food sales thinking that would be a good option to recover my health and stay in the biz. It turned out that again I was working 12+ hour days, 6 days a week. When my son cried as I left the house again I knew it was time to rethink my choices. I had to be there to watch my son grow up, I knew I would only get one chance. So I did whatever I could to keep "normal hours". Financially we suffered greatly from commission only paychecks and from what my poor health did to our finances. I managed to finally get the hours and money that I wanted at a job that eventually tore up my feet and carpal tunnels! Moving one more time I was going for a better job, anyway I fell into a great opportunitywhen I had one last severe health crisis (I swear I have a Ford for a body!) This brings me to now. I have a good job, decent salary, great hours, great company, still have some health issues but I miss the food biz tremendously. If it wasn't for the great people here at CT I would have no real foodie contact. As it is I have concentration issues and I fear everyday that goes by I get further from my training and experiences. I feel sometimes like I am on a raft drifiting further and further away from what I know and I am desperately trying to keep the shore in sight. So I try and keep the kitchen up and I always cook, maintenance style but I'm doing something. I am doing some writing on the side and if anything works out I will let you all know what's been going on.
But that's how this biz has affected my life. Sometimes I wish I could just go and work for Brad and retrain myself to get back some of the passion I used to have. Whatever happens I am growing an herb garden this summer and using what I grow in a truly gourmet manner!


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## phatch (Mar 29, 2002)

Much of what is written above is why I'm not in the food business. While I think I could have made money at it, I wouldn't have been happy. Don't worry, i wouldn't have been competing with you guys, I'm not in your league. it would have been more rib-stickin' home-style cookin'. Glorified diner.

phil


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## chiffonade (Nov 29, 2001)

Chefboy, I'm not trying to be contrary, but it's worse when one wants to cook for a living but can't. I was doing exactly what I wanted to do - running a small restaurant in southwest CO with my husband (who's a phenomenal cook). Unfortunately, the area is so financially depressed that we would have lost our a s s had we stayed. We now live in Florida where there is so much food available, it's impossible to start a private place. Most of what's available is chain restaurants but with the exception of Carrabba's they are all pretty much the same. The corporate chain restaurants have the financial backing of the chain and independents here are few.

He's a corporate chef and has found a serendipitous gig - the perfect food gig. No weekends, nights or holidays. Unfortunately, I have not been able to locate a similar situation. I would love to work in a restaurant either cooking or baking but they all want night hours which I cannot do. I would never see my husband or 15 y/o daughter and that's simply not acceptable. 

I don't think sacrificing my entire home life is worth anything in the world. If I had to sacrifice my family to cook, I'd be just as miserable for a different reason.


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

Hey chiffonade , I think a lot of restaurant workers have had this same quandry . I know I have ! I have always wanted the control
of my own place but even with the experience I have the odds are stacked against me . Its not a job when you run your own place but its a way of life . And that way of life is all consuming !
The chains have realy sucked the life out of many small operators. I look at the immigrant restaurants in my area , the Chinese , Greeks , Italians and more . To run there restaurants at a profit the whole family works there mostly from what I have seen ! 
That is why for now, I like your husband work a Mon - Fri job for a corperation ! I am the boss of the property but I have given up control of food specs and much creativity in order to have a life and health insurance ! But I must say that even though I supposedly have it good now I miss the control of working for an owner ! With an owner there is normaly only one person to deal with but with a big corperation , Well you know you can beat your head against the wall only so much .
In closing I think we wish to give the best that we have learned
(I would love to taste your baked goods & I am sure your hubby rocks as a chef) to the world ! Unfortunately the corperate suits feel they have much more close contact with the trends and whats new and whats old ! Satisfaction Surveys ! Lets give the people what they want due to the newest survey ! Cooking has become political ? Sorry for the rant , but I still love the food biz .
Doug...........................


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## dano1 (Oct 23, 2003)

I've f'd up a few good jobs due to ego and pride, and will probably screw up a few more too, hey i'm a slow learner . But this biz has been my calling since i could walk. I will not bend my principles and i won't take s..t, and it costs me.
Now if only i could communicate that to the wife.....
danny


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## cape chef (Jul 31, 2000)

It’s hard to follow some of the excellent posts here on this thread, but I’ll attempt.

You know what friends? I would not talk about this anywhere but on CT because you guys and gals in the trenches understand.

I’m tired, my eyes are always red from the heat and stress, my back pains me and I know nothing else. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve worked myself into a “type cast” as a chef and see no light at the end of the tunnel. This is not a business for the faint of heart and my heart is strong, but tired.

My passion for cooking almost never waivers, only when I feel totally beaten up by a crazy day or period of difficulty. But alas the next morning comes with the chance yet again to paint a canvas of my style that’s evolved with 25 years in the trenches.

When Madeleine Kamman wrote the forward to “Becoming a chef” by Dorenburg and Page she discussed the advantages and disadvantages of doing either schooling or apprentice work (in the European style” anyway, Madeleine went on to say “Whichever way you choose to become a chef, be sure that it spells enrichment for that sort of “holy Trinity” Which is the foundation of your future profession: Your mind, your heart and your hands. Challenges will come to you daily at such speed that, more than once, you will feel like throwing your hands up in the air and your apron in the hamper, and want to yell “Enough is enough! I quit!!” While in the back of your mind that lovely little voice will say “Oh no, you don’t, you know you can do it, don’t quit” This will be the moment to stop right then and there for 1 moment, void your mind altogether, take a deep breath, and simply continue working. This will be the time you realize that your chef, the woman or man you entrusted with a phase of your development, is caught in the same dilemma as you. For your chef there is not only you; there are also your colleagues that make there own mistakes, there is that bottom line at the end of the month and the end-of-year statement to greet the New Years and there are growing family responsibilities, so important and to which it feels like one can never devote all the time one would like to”

Someday I will teach, and not at an “ivy league” version of culinary schools, somewhere small and honest will very little politics.

I love this business, I really do, but I can feel it starting to take its hold on me. So be it.

Next chapter?


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## chefboy2160 (Oct 13, 2001)

cape chef , when you do open your small school let us know ! I have a 14 year old who would love to attend ! The fire burns in him and he also knows the life that it brings. 
The trenches give us our pleasure ! What different beings we are to seek our pleasure like this ! I love this biz, Doug..........


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