# Kitchen Pranks!?



## quinn01

So I thought itd be funny to talk about what pranks get us through the long hot nights. 

I worked with a guy that always used to take the half gallons of milk and grab the chocolate syrup from the bar and make the whole thing chocolate milk and keep it in his low boy to nurse throughout the night so one day I and another guy I was friends with grabbed his milk when he wasnt in the kitchen and poured it into a pitcher put it under our lowboy and then took a thing of buttermilk poured that into his container added chocolate syrup and put it back. Then a few hours later we hear from the other side of the kitchen BLAHHHHH OH WHAT THE ****!? WHO DID THIS!? and we just started dieing. He was so unhappy to say the least. hahahaha

anyone else?


----------



## chrose

I would never play a joke on a co-worker  We got pretty juvenile sometimes. We would put a metal skewer through a baguette and the wait staff would grab a knife to cut it up, and not be able to. Fun stuff eh? Tie the sauce boat handle and turn it around for when they tried to grab it and it would slip out of their fingers. :look: and the old whipped cream in the ear piece of the kitchen phone, and then call from another and see who gets it. Ahh good times


----------



## quinn01

HAHAHA I like the kitchen phone one. I think I may just use that......:lol:


----------



## gummy-bear

I work in a local Chinese restaurant. 85% of our orders are takeout and delivery so we get pretty bored with dine in. Our waiter that participates in all of our pranks ordered kung pao chicken at the end of the night, and I slipped about 1/2 a bottle of siracha sauce into his meal, a couple of extra peppers, and made sure there were seeds. He cried it was so spicy. Granted he got me back the next night. We have fun.


----------



## botanique

When I took over as sausage maker at one of Seattle's restaurants, the previous "gentleman" wasn't too happy about it. On his last day, we punched out an amazing amount of sausages.... Ground the meat, prepped the seasoning, casings, made the links.... At the end of the day we were both exhausted, and in the middle of grinding the meat for the Italian sausage he said "don't worry, go home, I'd like to finish up here alone." I figured, ok, I can understand that, last night and all.... I said thanks and took off. Later that night I received a phone call from the restaurant owner. "What the *#$^! did you do to the seasoning for the Italians????!!!! Can't you follow a simple ingredient recipe?" Evidently, out of spite, Mr. Sausage wanted to leave with a bang, and added the spice rack kitchen sink. There were more herbs and spices in those links than protein.... Unfortunately, the whole batch was tossed. He never did come back for his last pay check.... Ahhh, I did love that job though....

I like having fun when working in a professional kitchen. You need it for the relief, and the release! Anger comes out in the food, and a little silliness every once in a while can make light of some very stressful situations.

The cook that taught me from when I was knee high to a grasshopper is married to a chief pathologist -- brilliant man. I came for a lesson one day and to prepare and serve for a physicians dinner function, and found him plopped in front of the tv, laughing hysterically. He was watching some idiotic show like bloops and blunders or something. I looked at him completely puzzled. And he simply turned to me and stated "every once in a while, it is good to not think, not do, laugh at life, and try not to take yourself too seriously in the moments that you can...." Or something to that effect. So I went back to my mentor, swearing at the ratatouille because she added lamb to it and was told there were vegetarians in the group protesting and refusing to eat... I can't tell you what she did, but all I can say is, it was definite comic relief! Amazing what we remember. 

Personally, I like the jello in the clogs bit, but that is so tame


----------



## oregonyeti

These aren't exactly kitchen things, but anyway . . .

At work once a friend of mine squished a brownie, shaped it like doggie doo, and set it on a clean table. He was working nearby and keeping an eye on it. A cleaning person came around and looked at it, startled. My friend nonchalantly went over, picked it up and started eating it. The look on the cleaning person's face . . . I wish I had a picture:lol:

One April Fool's day our boss was away at her desk at the start of the shift. We all called her one at a time saying we were sick and couldn't come in to work. That was before caller ID.

Once an engineer e-mailed his boss on account of all the engineers in his group, about something they weren't happy about. He said they were all thinking about going for work in another department. He cc'd lots of high-up management, well at least it looked like it--he slightly misspelled their addresses so they didn't really get it. His boss freaked out--that scared the heck out of him and he was ready to let them have whatever they wanted:roll:


----------



## oregonyeti

Good thing that boss had a good sense of humor:lol:


----------



## jnbennett168

I am getting some terrible ideas. Thanks everyone! The whipped cream in the phone is just plain diabolical.


----------



## jnbennett168

PS. Oregon Yeti, is your name at all related to the Billy Nayer Show?


----------



## oregonyeti

My name is because I lived in the Himalayas and trekked a lot (the Yeti part), and now live in Oregon. I don't even know who Billy Nayer is

I made my own web site too, OregonYeti.com


----------



## foodpump

Me play pranks? Stodgy, sour, crusty, old fart like me play pranks?
Never!

However.... Wherever I went, pranks would be played out on co-workers, but never me.... Particularily the egg trick. See, an egg would be hollowed out, a length of butcher's twine threaded through and a paper-clip tied on to the other end. This assembly would be hung on the the back of aprons or pockets. Nothing quite like th sight of an egg dancing between the legs of some poor unsuspecting schmuck as s/he goes about their business.

And then there was the pastry chef. Largish sort of guy, 2 m (6') big, with an uncommonly large, uh, girth--built like a sattelite dish, if you know what I mean. For some un-explained reason he would always carefully hang his work pants _outside_ of his locker at the end of his shift. And what pants they were too--enough material to do a dozen curtains for the back windows of Winnabagoes(sp?). Now he always used a pair of suspenders AND a belt, and the sight of this pair of pants--un-protected as it were, was too tempting a target. The pants ended up pinned on the staff bulletin board one day, resulting in a bit of embarassment and a heated bet going on between the housekeeping girls as to the waist size...

And then there was the waiter... It wouldn't of happened to him if he weren't such a, um, obnoxious person. Waiter-boy would always hang out on the other side of the pass swilling a glass of wine and bragging about the tips he earned. One day a cook decided it was too much and cling filmed over his wine glass when the waiter-boy went out to check on his tables. The whole team was watching the cook, and all waited for a lull so waiter-boy could come back and brag some more and swill his wine. Everyone expected him to try to drink from his glass: Ha-ha and all that. But waiter-boy came back with the remains of a bottle of wine and tried to add it to his glass. Wine all down his front. Needless to say he was P.O'd, and screamed at the Chef for dry-cleaning compensation. Chef pointed out to him (rather tartly, too...) that drinking while on duty was _verboten_, but if he wanted to take up the matter with the Owner, it was up to him.

And the cook who couldn't keep his new expensive designer glasses on his head. I mean, they were left on the prep table, on top of the printer, by the sink... Chef told him to either get a chain for them to hang around his neck, get contacts, or keep the effing things on his head. One day the glasses were found next to the fryer and it was just too much. They were cling filmed and then pasted with mayo, one lense dipped in parlsey, one lense in parika. Guy finds them, freaks out and starts to wash them, mayo runs off and the cling film starts to peel off. Guy really freaks out now, moaning about how his new glasses had just melted. He showed up next day with a chain for them.

And then there was the new guy who got conned into straining the fryer oil the "easy way"... And the girls who complained that someone had stuffed a urinal puck (Pina-Colada scented...) in the grille of the a/c diffuser in the girl's change room, and then there was the .......


----------



## oregonyeti

I made up a good one once.

My work is heating and air conditioning service. Each guy has his own work van.

I got a mountain bike inner tube and cut it into about 12" pieces. Stretched it around the tail pipes of 2 guys' vans and secured them with nylon zip ties, kind of like floppy extensions of the tail pipes.

When they started up their vans it sounded like flatulence and when they were on the highway those things were SCREAMING like an industrial-powered party horn. They figured that out pretty fast though. Darn.


----------



## oldschoolcook

And don't forget the panstretcher for the newbies, peeling capers.....


----------



## just jim

I've always been a fan of getting their coat wet and hanging it in the freezer.
I've sent noobs to mop the freezer, and had one bagging steam from buckets of hot water to store in case the steam table breaks again.

Not exactly kitchen related, but that's allways where it happened....someone would tell the new guy to ask me how my father danced, said I was very proud of him.
They come up and say "how does your father dance?'
I'd get the red face going and scream "That's f'd up, you know my dad doesn't have any legs!" and move towards them. (I'm 6'2", 300 lbs).
I had one dishwasher backpedaling off of the line as fast as he could, and I'm trying not to bust out laughing.


----------



## mycroftt

I had a buddy who worked as a bartender at a restaurant a couple miles from a dive bar where we all hung out. One night a bunch of us were drinking at the dive bar and had some girl call the bar at the restaurant where our buddy was working. Our buddy answered and she ordered a couple of dozen clams on the half shell. He asked her if she was coming to pick them up and she said "No, I want them delivered to the dive bar" and hung up. We all got a good laugh at the prank order until about 20 minutes later he shows up at the dive with 2 dozen clams, lemon, cocktail sauce, napkins, the whole nine yards, and asks deadpan "Who ordered the clams?" Outpranked! :lol:


----------



## psycho chef

"And dont forget to empty the hot water from the coffee machine" even though it's attached to the plumbing...that's a great waiter prank, watching them fill a 5 gal bucket over and over. Or then there's the live lobster prank shown here...If you're nice then leave the rubber band on the free claw. As you see here we are not so nice. Careful though, this prank is known to inspire great fear in certain individuals. Better done on cooks and not the Maitre'D like shown here...and I wondered why I got fired.


----------



## chef spencer

Deep fried tongs are my stand by for co workers that are especially troublesome, only used if working in an 'anything goes' type kitchen. Wouldn't pull that move in a corporate joint. 

Coil some salmon skin up like a snake and leave it where the prissy waitress will stumble upon it while doing pre-service set up.


----------



## chrose

That may be one of the funniest things I've ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:roll::lol:


----------



## cookingangry

go get the bacon stretcher/dough patch/left handed parsley curler from our sister restaurant across the street.

Go drain the fountains.

Go wind the fans.


----------



## foodpump

Why that's, that's...pure genius....

Have you ever took a hunk of baker's margerine, shaped it like a cutlet breaded it, and gave it a noobie telling him:" If you can pan fry this golden brown on both sides without any dark spots, then you're truly a Chef"?


----------



## ghettoracingkid

ahaha that one made me laugh.


im not much of a prankster but i like to make horrible off color horrible jokes. 

the sous chef was in teh walk in with me and this other guy looking for what to do for tongihts special and i looked and the guy and was like lick the tip (of your finger) stick it in (he was bent over) and then wiggle and tickle the prostate.

thsi was all lightly whispers and mostly miming i guess you can say. the sous chef kinda heard stick it in from the other guy and got up and turned around.. we all had a good laugh...


----------



## just jim

We used to take the discarded espresso pucks and put them on a plate with chocolate syrup and whipped cream, leave them in the window for the waitstaff.


----------



## adamm

At my first job to only pranks we played were vinegar/salt peoples drinks, nothing real serous. On externship all the staff got on the externs at the property people were sent around the property(4 different restaurants) for strawberry deseeders, pine nut splitters, smoke shifteres, table streachers. And of course there was the empty the hot water that was hooked to the plumbing. At my job now not too much pranks in the kitchen, most of the jokes are towards the FOH staff.


----------



## salliem

Long time ago at the first fine dining restaurant I worked for, I made all the desserts..chocolate mousse being one of them...never failed everytime I made it, I would find finger marks in it...so one day with another cook's help I made two batches, the smaller being made with Worcestershire sauce ( for the coloring)..and the next day the culprit was revealed by asking, "what the *#@* did you do to the chocolate mousse?
Never happened again.


----------



## juliet

When I worked service for a catering company we would sometimes bring in whole trays already done up and wrapped direct from the kitchen crew.

At one party, I was unwraping a mediterranean platter to set on the buffet and realized that my friend in the kitchen had sculpted a VERY detailed rendition of *ahem* male and female anatomy.

It was actually very good and creative. Without going into too many details, let's just say it was a unique way to showcase hummous, roasted red peppers, parsley, tabouli and cucumbers.

.......but, alas - I had to run back to the staging area and redo the platter to fit our "G-Rated" guests.


----------



## thetincook

A favored waiter at the last place I worked bought a fancy new cell phone. He was so proud it's many many features, but since he had just bought it that day he had yet to master them.

One of the kitchen staff got ahold of the phone and changed it's ringtone to a set of very loud and very enthusiastic "O sounds". He then passed the poor waiter's number around to the staff.

We waited untill it started getting busy to start calling him.


----------



## pete

There are way too many to remember....but here is a list of some of our most outlandish/diabolical (I never said I was proud of these moments....but then again  )

Sprinkling cayenne on the backs of each other's necks while we were bent over working (in about 20 minutes it works its way under your skin and really starts to burn)

Rimming someone's cup with habanero.

Replacing someone's coke with balsamic vinegar (a surefire way to make someone puke during service!!)

Heating a black steel pan, tossing in a handful of ground white pepper, placing a plate cover over it and tossing it under someone's station. As the pepper smoke slowly leaks out they start coughing, eyes start watering, etc.

Don't ever forget your knives at the end of the night or you might find them at the bottom of a very large cambro, frozen solid.

Filling someone's back pocket with salt slowly, over the course of service.

Once we even cleaned out an upright cooler, put a cook in it and when the other cook, who worked the station, opened the door the cook jumped out and scared the crap out of the guy.

Oh, the fun old days!!!!!!!


----------



## godfather_chef

wow, it's been a while since i posted.....

our sous chef has a green plastic cup that he favors, and our dish soap is.....you guessed it, green.

"hey, can you go look for some more panko in the basement?"

"yes, these are called blue-fin shrimp, that's why the fin is blue" - to a FOH guy, and he truly believed it.

soy in the coffee, as long as their nose is a little stopped up.

the good ole salt in the drink, any drink.

flour on hand + black jacket.........

sharpie and our sous's favorite cup.... ("will perform favors for $5" and the like)

one of the guys had one of those paper toques to wear for a while as a joke, that is until someone drew male "parts" on the very top.

"hey, you dropped you pocket"

tongs in the oven

or the deep fryer

"how did my knife get stuck in the ceiling?" - that was a good one, he was like 5'4"
(don't worry, we made sure it wouldn't come out....super glue works wonders, and it really was a piece of crap knife)


----------



## oregonyeti

I did a prank on a guy before, but I forgot what it was. His comeback was squirting water on my pants in the crotch area. By the time I realized it, he had really soaked me.


----------



## dirk skene

Yeah guys, he's actually warned me about this one. I try to keep it in mind, but in the heat of service I might forget . I think I'll just train myself to where if he asks for tongs that aren't on the clothes line I'll use another pair to grab 'em.


----------



## boar_d_laze

This one was played on me on the first day I was promoted to saute by the chef who promoted me. After they welded themselves to me, he said: "Vaht isht da matter vit djew colletch boy? Ain't djew nevah voirk der grill stayshun? Djew still gaht feelin's in der hands? Ach ha ha ha. Der necks few veeks isht goonner be sehr goot. Djew gahtter luff der firjins. Ach ha ha ha." 

BDL


----------



## dirk skene

I'd had to have hurt somebody :lol:


----------



## yorvo

A bit of ketchup under the bar gun after you get a soda is a good simple trick.

My personal favorite was years ago in a Las Vegas hotel we had a dishwasher who was being a pain in the... So I'm making some special Veal Parm for the crew. Six of us. But for his I used a bar rag and cut it into the shape of a cutlet then breaded it and sauteed it up with the rest. I put sauce and cheese on it and served it up with pasta. It was beautiful it looked like all the rest.

A subtle one was in Vegas as well. I worked a place where my relief came in an hour early to set up. He'd fill a bus tub with ice to ice down his eggs for omelets and set it right in the middle of his station. As I'd leave I'd take my knife and make a small hole in the bottom of the tub. He's wiping up water all day.


----------



## boar_d_laze

The guy was impervious pain, had been the victim of every rat-f#ck known to man, had a great sense of humor when he wasn't in a drunken, violent rage -- which was about 50/50. So he'd either just laugh or start throwing cutlery.

He'd learned to cook when he was stationed in Paris as part of the WWII German occupation. He claimed to have cooked for von Stoltitz. That could be true or complete BS. Who knows? He cooked like a god, and could teach cooking to a donkey. Or even me, for that matter. "Gott dammit colletch-boy, like zo! Gott dammit!" Don't let my middle-aged infatuation with the fact that I was once young confuse you about my feelings. He was a complete *********ker.

BDL


----------



## patricew

how funny is all this......Gollies am sitting here laughing to so loud and the cats are looking at me weird. The funniest is the dancing question. 

Well did the final of my exams yesterday for graduation of the Cert 2. :bounce:
Have three days to go and have then have the cooking competition. Was really looking forward to that until I got the names of who is in the comp. I am the only person that isnt in the workplace. Am just fulltime in school. 

Patrice


----------



## voodoo_sopa

this is one of my favorite..
believe me it will work fantastic during working night shift or during concentrating peeling the onions or potatoes or during the kitchen is so so dam quiet or during student exams...
very ezy..get a BIG pot the biggest one dat u can find...slowly sneak behind ur victim..& drop the heavy pot as hard as u can...huahhahaha..
will giv them a gud wackup call hehe..dun worry if u scared dat they might do nasty thing to u..quickly jus said "oopppss sorry i dropped the pots.."
walk away ..& can do the laughing later in the toilet..hehehe


----------



## oregonyeti

This is not a kitchen prank, but it's something anybody can do. My work involves driving a van.

Buy a bicycle inner tube. Cut about a 1-foot section. Put one end around a car or truck exhaust pipe, and secure it on with a zip tie or whatever. It ends up as a floppy extension on the tail pipe.

When the engine is started, it makes kind of a flatulence sound, and at highway speed it screeches like mad. This is my invention 

You need the right diameter inner tube to fit on there. You should have to stretch it a bit to get it around the tail pipe. Then if it isn't secured well it will just blow off of there.


----------



## chefstat

i was working pastries and there was one busboy who would always steal my truffles. i took a quail egg and dipped it in chocolate, then left it out as the easiest one to steal.


----------



## luckycharr

hahahaha thats funny


----------



## foodpump

Then there was the noob who got conned into straining the fryer the "easy way". Guess they never had to strain fryers in cooking school, and the noob was very put-off with the job. The "easy way" was suggested...

"what's that?" 

"Look, you clear a consomme with eggwhite and meat, right?"

"yeah, so?"

"Well, you just stir a little eggwhite into the fryer, wait a few minutes, then remove the raft that has all the crud imbedded into it. But, hey, take out the baskets first, O.K.?

Eejit goes for it, takes an almost full 2 l sorbetier of eggwhites and dumps them into the hot fryer.

About 30 seconds later "Swamp thing" crawls up and over the fryer, gaining volume fast, like a big puffy marshmallow from he**, dribbling oil over the sides, then the oil started smoking...

Heckuva mess, but the look on that guy's face! Shoulda been a camera around...

And then there was my Chef who almost blew up the staff toilet--and the saucier with it....


----------



## lighthaus76

Back when I was a line cook we always had a problem with servers swiping fries, onion rings, and chicken fingers off of the plates before they took them out to the guests. One April Fools Day we decided to get back at those thieves! We cut clean towels into strips and floured, egged, and bread crumbed them. Then we deep fried them. They looked exactly like chicken fingers. Then we presented them on a plate with a variety of dipping sauces, put 'em up on the rail, and waited for the madness to begin. Every server working that night took the bait and it was pretty funny watching them trying to take a bite out of those towels.


----------



## jojobaltimore

The bar rag/chicken parm is a classic! I've heard some good stories about it. Funny stuff!


----------



## foodpump

Another version of the gag is to bread and saute gold a copper/s/s scouring pad.....


----------



## rpmcmurphy

I rubber-banded the little sprayer hose attachment on moms residential kitchen sink when I was a wee-tot.......



...I'll never do it again.


----------



## xx_dev_xx

I had a DMO create a horse tail with masking tape that consisted of napkins, air filled plastic gloves, and pink sany wipes and stick it on the tail end of a jacket of a unaware cook who was focused on his prep. Moments later, uproars of laughter will fill the kitchen as this unaware cook scrambles throughout the kitchen with 2 foot long tail dangling behind him. haha

people still fall for the lefthanded parsley chopper and such?


----------



## rat

We usually fill the straw of someone with liquid death hot sauce or something like that, then carefully wipe it off and re-insert it into the vistims drink. We have black straws where I work so you cannot see it.

We also do all our own butchering so we like to tie large fish carcasses up under peoples cars in the summer time---ouch the stink!

We also once had a really old whole lamb the chef did not want anymore so we tied it with a dog collar and leash to a managers bumper, he drug it 80 miles all the way to Atlantic city. The cops did not think it was too funny.


----------



## 6003

Hi

a very good line for a bit of light stuff of course - it's difficult to think up and/or do a really good 'prank' as so many might infringe health and safety at work and/or food safety, of course.

Well, many many years ago when i lived in a staff annex (to the hotel where i worked) along with a few other chefs; we never got on with the landlady (it was a sort of private arrangement with the hotel) so it didn't actually come under hotel control. The landlady also worked in the public bar and hated us and we her.

Well, eventually we were leaving and moving on to other jobs and wondered what we could do to leave a legarcy - something that wouldn't get discovered too soon.

You heard the saying "was it the smoking gun or the trout in the milk? 

Well it was the trout (dead) under the floor boards.

I think it caused quite a stink.


----------



## tessa

ohhhh what a stinker that would be :roll::roll::roll:


----------



## lighthaus76

I had an extern who left a trout in my desk before she went back to school. I tore up my office trying to locate it!!! Those externs keep me young.


----------



## greyeaglem

Just Jim- I forgot all about that one, only with us it was the dancing sister (Ask Willy about his dancing sister. She's really good, been on TV and everything. He loves to brag about her. If you want to get in good with him, that's how you do it.) I fell for it.
A word of warning here about putting things in people's drinks etc. Last year at one of the places I work they put Tobasco sauce in one of the waiter's drink. Turned out he was allergic to peppers. They had to call an ambulance and he wound up getting a tracheotomy. Since he was friends with the pranksters (With friends like that, who needs enemies?) he didn't sue which is the only reason the owner didn't fire the whole crew.
We had a slow winter at that same place and were running without a dish person during the early part of the week. One night the manager was pitching dishes and all of a sudden he starts doubling over laughing. I thought he finally had lost it until he said he was remembering the time when he worked at the local country club and they had a new dishwasher on. They'd had a wedding that night and they brought the ice sculpture back and told the dishwasher to run it through and put it back in the walk in so they could use it again for the next one. Of course it melted and the kid was afraid to say anything because he thought he'd get fired.


----------



## godfather_chef

yeah, we only put things in peoples drinks that we know they can take, we don't do it to the new people, unless they're asking for it. usually just salt, though, or maybe some soy in the coffee.


----------



## foodpump

Why bother putting stuff in the drinks? Just cling film over the glass--it's alot funnier and people don't get P.O'd........


----------



## 6003

Hi

there was the horrible story (true unfortunately), about someone working behind a bar flat out on a very hot day.

Reached in the fridge and grabbed what was thought to be a bottle of lemonde and drank it down.

Tragically some one had decanted bleach into the lemonade bottle thinking it was a handy storage vessel and some how it had got into the fridge.

The person lived but had major things in hospital and never actually fully recovered and shortened life and mush lower quality.

It's a standard case-study on health and safety in this area and unfortunately always comes to mind under present discussion.

sorry to be a damp squid.


----------



## greyeaglem

Had to revive this thread to add to it. I don't run a kitchen, I run a nut house. Our walk-ins are in a shed across the parking lot from the actual kitchen, so staff are constantly running out the back door to get things. There is no window in the door, so there is a sign reminding people to knock before entering in case someone is working at the table by the door. Sooo, Goofy Cook waits for Drama Queen waitress to head for the shed, fills his hands with ketchup and stands by the back door. Her hands are full and she can't knock, so as soon as the door opens he starts to bellow and grabs his nose with both hands. Drama Queen runs out into the dining room and up to dining room manager (who is in the process of taking an order) babbling that Goofy Cook is bleeding everywhere (what every diner wants to hear) because she broke his nose with the door. Drama Queen swears she's going to get even; I swear to God I'm going to kill them all. People wonder why I drink. _I _wonder why I don't drink more.


----------



## rambo

Kitchen pranks are only good when it adversely affects those who truly deserve it. First chef I worked for loved to put the salt and pepper mix into people's pockets. The owner was a jerk of the highest caliber, hated by people whom he'd only met once or twice. Owner was having extended conversation with chef on the line in the kitchen, chef ended up salt-curing a brand new Cartier watch owner had in his pocket instead of on his wrist. He took it in stride, but kept his distance from the chef from then on. 
A server that constantly complained about staff meal at an Italian place I worked at got served a paper-towl parm when the rest of the staff got chicken parm. He was so embarrassed that he said nothing, threw it away, and got a burger down the street.


----------



## m.d.hughes

Years ago in London we had servers that were fond of our homemade chocolate petit fours so I made a batch of them with chocolate Exlax and left them sitting around..... kind of backfired though when we lost 3 servers that shift... but not as much as they backfired.

You take some cardboard, you cut it into the shape of a cutlet, you use a meat tenderizer on it, season it liberally, breadcrumb and fry it then serve it up to the peasants with a nice mushroom demi, they'll never complain about staff food again... trust me

You buy an identical combination lock for someones locker then switch it while they are getting changed at the beginning of shift.

CAUTION: THIS SHOULD ONLY BE USED AS A LAST RESORT (OR FIRST RESPONSE) TO A PRANK PLAYED ON YOU

Purple broccoli used to be really funky in the mid 80's (oh god i'm old) we used to give it to the newbie to cook, always with the lecture about you know what you are doing? this stuff aint cheap! as soon as it hits boiling water it turns green...What the **** happened did you put salt in the water? there is no right answer

Live lobsters.....so many possabilities, my favorate is under the plate cover and into the dishpit

Taking an pigs eyeball into a department head meeting can be considered juvinile... trust me, it did take them some time to notice what was floating in my water glass

Talking of department head meetings if you ever want to speed one up just spend a couple of hours fileting salmon before hand... or during it we're born multitaskers

Telling a newbie that snorting saffron will get you high, actually that one wasn't cool, the bright yellow muccus was disgusting

Having the G.M. run up to you saying you speak Welsh, I want to make a toast to Richard Burton (this was before he died, we didn't serve dead people at the restaurant) this was in the middle of service so I quickly taught him a classic toast that translates to "all English are *****oles" I changed jobs soon after.

Serving a nice rabbit stew then advertizing it on the chalk board as Watership Down Casserole "You've read the book, you've seen the film, now eat the cast" for you young farts google it, it's a classic story, much better than Old Yeller... and tastier too


----------



## ras1187

I know I'm evil for doing this... buttt

We recently had a "situation" where a guest found a finger from a rubber glove in his bread pudding. The Chef at the time obviously was not amused having to smooth the situation out.

This Chef is no longer with us, he left a few weeks ago. On his last day, we had a plated banquet for 150. After plating up, I ripped a finger off of my glove and feigned fear and shock as I tried to explain to him I lost a finger of my glove in the food.

He ran to the hotbox before I could even explain to him it was a joke, and he was ready to start pulling plates out looking for a glove tip, but luckily i managed to get to him in time. He was so flushed, angered, relieved, and laughing all at the same time. Alot of the words exchanged after realizing it was a joke can't be spoken on this forum, but lets just say he will remember his last day.


----------



## geese4u

The Goat!!!!!!!!!


----------



## sierra11b

Good one. 

I still take the bright orange cooled fat cap off of beef stock, cut it into cheesecake size wedges, make it pretty with whipped cream, caramel sauce and other garnish and tell the managers or new servers that it's out new Yam cheesecake. Works every time!

A classic but we had a guy that always left his knives dirty at the end of the night on the magnet. So we used to clarify water the best we could and freeze them in a bucket with the handles sticking out like sword in the stone. It would have to be done on a day he didn't work because we used to set-up the ice block on a sheetpan so when he came in it was staring him in the face. Got to the point we used to do that with anyone that left their knives. Got old quick so do it once then leave the guy alone.


----------



## chefhow

Some of my favorites are sending a noob into the deep freezer for the buckets of steam. Looking for the bacon stretcher, fish sauce in a soda, tea or coffee, cayenne on the back of the neck, and my all time favorite....

Make a $50 bet with the big talker A$$hole of the group. Bet them that they cant eat a level TBSP of cinnamon. SInce cinnamon absorbs all the moisture in your mouth and nasal cavity it will be spewed out of their mouth and thru their nose, its like the gallon of milk bet but much lesser known. Its quite funny and the jacka$$ who loses the bet will shut up for a while.


----------



## shamrock chef

We used food spray on the inside of pants.
then covered with hot pepper powder.
then put back in locker

When they start running around working thats when the fun starts


----------



## just jim

Sending a noob to mop the freezer is always good for a few laughs.

Having them put bags over pots off hot water to catch the steam, because the steamer was acting up again, is another.

Honey or Karo syrup on the reach-in handles, plastic wrap over the toilet bowl.

Once put a broken ladle, handle only, in the bucket of wing sauce.
When the guy pulled it out, I said "****, how much pepper did you put in that?"

Silly, no?


----------



## damack

wow i burn reading that, thats just mean, if u did that to me you would find something in your pants that is 10 times hotter with in the next week, and somthing that sokes in to the skin that you cant just brush off.


yes im a little crazy but arnt we all


----------



## chefhow

I watched someone get fired and then get sued over exactly that. Kid had 2nd degree chemical burns in his crotch and had to go to the hospital because the capsicum seeped into his skin. It was really bad and very ugly.


----------



## chef_jacob

The funniest practical joke that I've ever taken part in...our expeditor was a small guy, about 5'5". I had a full size low boy reach-in at my station on the hotline that he could easily fit into. I would then ask different people to grab me something out of the low boy. Just to see their faces when they opened the door and a little arm comes flying out and grabs them. The guy would scream "boo!" which was a really nice effect.

Because they never expected a human to be in there, the reactions where priceless. Pure horror. The best was when I told the Executive Chef that my fridge was leaking. When he reached in and got is hand smaked with a little growl, he jumped back and screamed like a little girl and then ran off the hotline. 

Good thing he had a sense of humor...kinda.


----------



## coosie

Switch out the baby powder in the mens room with powdered sugar. Many of the line cooks powder to keep chafing down. Powdered sugar gets really sticky when the sweating begins. Doesn't hurt. Just uncomfortable. And fun to watch.


----------



## rblum

we had a group pof service staff that would pick at plates, one night one of my cooks had his dinner picked apart at the end of the night while he was changing. so the next night, we cut up some chicken breaded and fried it.. we also cut op some rolled line towls breaded and fried them...

"this chicken sure is chewey"


----------



## beer_n_food

Ah! I used to do the same thing but with corn starch instead of powdered sugar...classic!

Getting a server to grab a cup of steam from the coffee maker is another classic...

I once tied a server's apron to the silverware rack while she was putting desserts together (friend of mine, luckily). When she was finished she picked up the tray with about 5 slices of cheesecakes and pies and took a hard step towards the door....I don't know what made everyone laugh more, the look on her face when she heard 1000 pieces of silverware tumble to the floor or her screams. The desserts were fine though, have to give her that. But she ended up getting pretty good tips from the rest of her tables because they felt sorry for her...


----------



## rblum

Rubber bands on tray jacks... nuff said


----------



## canadatogo

French mustard on a palatte knife and then onto the back of someones pants. Priceless when a kp keeps rubbing it in, or when one of the sous doesnt realize it and spends half the day like that. You just have to make sure you keep them distracted enough while youre getting everything ready.


----------



## smokeyust

classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## grabazzo

OK, a friend made me come here and join so I could share this horrible story with "the gang"...I don't know if this constitutes a prank, or just a horrible and illegal thing to do, but I admit I LMAO'd when I heard it and have made more than a few kitchens collectively lose it in the telling...
In the early 80s on Long Island, growing up and working summers, I worked at a Greek deli and so became friends with the youngest of the owners 5 sons.
The youngest told me a story about a party they had catered once, a weekend long affair of some kind at which hummus was served, amongst other things.
Day one of the party didn't go well. I can't remember details other than the homeowner/client was described as an out of control, disrespectful arse-munch that had somehow managed to immediately and epically offend one of the brothers.
The result was that the now highly infuriated brother went back to the deli that afternoon and ate as many whole garbanzo beans as he could without chewing, careful not to mash them as he swallowed them whole.
Next morning, he pooped into a colander and ran water from the bathtub faucet over the mess until everything but the solids, mostly whole garbanzo beans, chunks of onion and such - now somewhat less than fresh - was washed away.
After a good rinsing, said brother proceeded to make hummus with the tainted beans, adding extra garlic and black olive to cover up the stinkiness and darker than ordinary hue and then served it at the party, where according to my friend, it was devoured.

nobody got sick.

well, there you have it. 

sorry.


----------



## chefchampionnj

^^^That might be the nastiest thing ive ever heard in my life.

I always have problems with foh stealing fries and **** off plates i gonna have to use that fried barmop thing thats great. I mean we get people pretty good dont get me wrong.

Taping little russian waitresses time cards to the ceiling, Taking the nozzles off the soda machine during service, Deglazing the flattop and dumping the greasetrap into someones drink, The melting soufle cup (heat up the sauce for a dish and dont send it out with the dish, then when the foh comes back for the sauce put it in a soufle cup and send it out HOT. The heat from the sauce causes the plastic to shrink to the bottom leaving a waitress covered in sauce) Filling eachothers pockets, street or kitchen shoes (whichever arnt being worn at the time) and leaving them under the steam table (shoe seafood gratin anyone?) Saran wrapping peoples cars, Sending dishwashers or prep externs (down 2 flights of stairs outside in the rain, snow or other inclimate weather) for a number 10 can of mis en place. We usually just rip on each others girlfriends or debate about whose female parts look like butterfly'd steaks and such.


----------



## grabazzo

One winter in Aspen, while working at the Hotel Jerome, we did a large banquet and trout of some kind was on the menu and after prepping we had a bucket with at least 100 trout heads and a couple salmon heads. It was freezing cold and that night we took the bucket out behind the hotel and stuck the fish heads to some poor sap that worked at the hotel's car. They were wet and stuck instantly, cut side pressed against the car so the face stared out at you.
We pinstiped the doors, roof and hood with them in a decorative pattern, and then stuck the salmon heds to the headlights and put a cigarette in one of their mouths.

I should tell you about the Cowtail Septapus, but that's kinda long....


----------



## harpua

Tell a newbie that we need chopped flour on the fly!


----------



## brianajj

For those of you who are not familiar with "water ice" it is Philadelphia Italian Ice. One day I brought in 1/2 gallon tub of lemon water ice for me so as a nice guy i am I was sharing it with all of my staff in the kitchen. well one of my food runners decided that he would help himself to it with out asking, finishing it before I even had a bite. I stayed calm and began to plot my revenge. The fowling day was around 90+ and 100+ in the kitchen. I brought in the same 1/2 gallon lemon water ice letting him see it . what he did not see was that I pureed white onions with ice and lemon zest! placed it into the freezer. after staff meal we all dug into the fresh water ice and watched him go right back to help him self to the decoy. He proceeded to have a good 4 or five spoon fulls before he started to inspect what he was eating. I was dying laughing. revenge is sweet or should i say not so sweet in this case...


----------



## nathanialwest

I registered just to enlighten you all to the best pranking tool that was not even mentioned in most of the previous posts... Okay, I admit, I didn't read them all.

PLASTIC WRAP.

Uses:
1. Take victim's purse, plastic wrap it good and tight as not to damage it, place inside 2 gallon plastic bag, cover with horrible concoctions of condiments. Seal with yet more plastic wrap inside yet another plastic bag and fill with water. Freeze and return to original location.
2. Take co-worker's knife roll. Wrap all knives (if you leave them any sharp tools it ruins it) at their access excessively in plastic wrap. Replace in knife roll. Wrap knife roll excessively in plastic wrap. Hide all sharp kitchen utensils. (Optional: Freeze.) This takes far less time to do than to un-do.
3. Oil all but the edges of a two-foot stretch of plastic wrap. At eye level, tape one edge to the in-door and the other to the door frame. For an added punch, add a bit of honey and sea salt. Sticky crap on the handles of kitchen tools can really infuriate a person when it is done, and then overdone.

And some eco-friendly pranks:
Make vinegar ice: enough said. You can even hand your victim their glass with a smile; they won't taste it right away if it's a strong-flavored soda.

Place bar coasters inside commercial size spice shakers. (or use plastic wrap!)

Prep cooks: this one rocks. If you have to slice tomatoes, simply cut the ends off, and then score the toms as if they are sliced, but the core still holds them together. Best to have backups ready if playing on a sous chef or above.

Happy pranking.


----------



## kiwisizzler

I like vacuum packing machines! Our favourite prank is to take an essential item from someone's kit and vacuum it into a small bag. Then either put it into another bag filled with water, vac again and freeze, or vac it into another bag with, say, raw eggs, then put that into another bag with, say, flour, then into another with something like honey, then another with maybe some breadcrumbs, etc etc... The latest one we did was a wheel from a manager's office chair encased in 10 bags alternating with dry and wet ingredients. FUN!!!


----------



## ljokjel

Makes me think of my old job.
We had swedish girls coming to Norway to get some practise during culinary school. We asked them to wash the elevator, wich is O.K., but we made them do it in all three stories, and so they did. Stupid blonde swedish girls.

The vacuuming reminds me of Kristoffer Hovland when the culinary team of Norway went to Beijing. He couldnt fit all his clothes into his travellingbag, so he used the vacuum-machine to minimize the space his clothes would need. It worked wonderfully, and he got to China with all of his clothes. His only problem was going back home with all his belongings, + everything he had bought.


----------



## rivver

At my old job it was all about getting everyones drink. My favorite was raw calamari in the sous chefs coffee. He drank almost the whole thing...yuck. Raw shrimp, tabasco is anotherall time favorite. 

Then we moved into more hilarious pranks. Hand full of red chili flakes into the blackening pan..that would clear out the whole line. Then we would plastic wrap the tiolet bowl.

But my two favorites that I did and I still laugh about till this day. We had creme brulee on the menu and teh servers would always beg for them, so I took the ramkin and filled it with mayo and carmelized the top. The server came by and took the biggest spoonful I ever saw........HAHAHA I will never forget that look on his face....

The other one was wasbai thinned out to sauce like texture and drizzled on ice cream. "Hey come try this new sample keylime sauce" That poor girl....Good times

I highly recommend doing the carmelized mayo creme brulee to someone, I was crowned king of restaurant pranks


----------



## kel

One of my prep guys asked a dishwasher (with some sense of authority and panic in his voice) to go to the walk-in and get him another gallon of "polka dot milk." The dishwasher said "polka dot milk?!" and the prep replied "yeah, just read the labels really closely. it looks just like the whole, the cream and the 2% but it says 'polka dot' in very small print on the label."

After ten minutes, i felt bad and found him in the cooler and told him that we worked around the polka dot milk need and he could give up, but we really needed him to get back to the dish pit and get us a left-handed china hat. He literally ran to the dish pit to wash whatever he thought was a left-handed chinoise.


----------



## greyeaglem

The oldest one that I know of is the funnel trick. You bet someone they can't drop a quarter from their forehead into a funnel stuck in the waist band of their pants. Of course you get everybody talking about how impossible it is first to set the stage. Focus on the cockiest person in the kitchen. You put the funnel in their pants, make them tilt their head back and then put the quarter on their forehead. Meanwhile, you stand there casually holding a glass of ice water. As soon as they tilt their head forward, the quarter will fall in the funnel, so you start a big discussion about how they must be cheating as no one else has ever been able to do it, and eventually you come around to they must not be tilting their head far enough back. You get them to tilt their head back farther, and when they do, you empty the ice water into the funnel. Everybody gets a good laugh except the guy with the wet pants. So now you let on about how sorry you are, and you'll give them a chance to get even by betting that you can wipe up the puddle before they can smack your hands with a grill spat. You get the person to sit down behind the puddle with their legs splayed out and the puddle roughly about by their knees. You give them two grill spats and tell them on the count of three you will wipe up the puddle. They have a grill spat in each hand, you have a towel. You count one, two, and then grab their ankles and drag their butt though the puddle while shouting THREE. Now they're wet front and back. In case you bet any money, you win because they never get the quarter in the funnel after the ice water starts, and you do wipe up the puddle before they can hit you with a grill spat. They might hit you after, but that doesn't count. :smoking:


----------



## natividad

i like how in every bag of potatoes there's always a semi rotten,fowl smelling, semi liquified potato in the sack. i like finding it and tossing it at a fellow employee, along with a "here catch this". needless to say the caught potato liquifies and explodes in the victims hands and lands all over thier faces and uniforms, lol. just something to pass the monotiny of prep time.


----------



## left4bread

You guys are freakin' MEAN! 
...i love it 

I can't bring myself to do these pranks anymore, but an ounce or two of salt or extract or food coloring goes a LONGGGGG way in someone's drink. So does hot sauce; molasses... liquid smoke... But these ideas are kinda amateurish compared to the previous posts.

For some reason ..... the paychecks were/are distributed from a drawer in the prep kitchen, much to the chagrin of me and a few others in that kitchen. 80 or so employees coming into your work area to get their paychecks...
We would cover the handle of the drawer with fish sauce. 
A thin layer of canola oil on the table above the drawer ensured that everyone left with stinky fingers and greasy paychecks. They had no idea. 
Subtlety.


----------



## token

oh man, there are so many...

back in the day when I was a line cook, we would get the food runner to run to the walk in/freezer/dry storage for all kinds of stuff...saute sticks which were hanging right next to the red handled grill press, cans of steam, burger glue, fish glue and they would all fall for it.. and we'd be busy too so they would be freaking out..

the worst though was to this kid no one liked. it was getting close to closing time and it was him, I, and my friend. he wasnt around and a 2 top walked in. we grabbed tongs off the wall and put them in the fryer....when he came back in there were tongs sitting on the cutting board across from the the broiler and as we walked out, asked him to grab the crabcakes out of the broiler...oh man, we got in a little bit of trouble for that one. :lol:


----------



## drekington

We always do drinks. The worst was the time someone put ginger oyster sauce in my coffee...

One of the funniest food pranks was when a server ordered French onion soup. we filled the bowl half way with french onion and the other half with chili sauce.

topped it off real nice so he could not see anything. Unfortunately, we had pranked him too many times and he suspected something. BUT the best part, he decided to get his girlfriend (the bartender) to try it. She cried a lot. it was the best.


----------



## leeniek

OMG this thread is just too funny! I don't have any pranks to share besides the pie in the face one. 

I was baking at a coffee shop and the owner asked me to make a chocolate pie with extra whip for him and I did it. He stood out of sight right beside the door to the kitchen and when the first foh staff came through he planned to pie them. Well it didn't turn out as he had planned because the next person through the door was his brother! We killed ourselves laughing but somehow the brothers didn't share our amusement!


----------



## socalchef00

OMG..no way...did you get that from chevy chase's movie? the griswalds? hahahah j/k


----------



## pumba

Ask chef for a long Weight!

Asked a noob chef to go to the Head chef to ask him for a LONG WAIT...boy....he waited a while alright LMAO


----------



## shichangchu

There was one incident awhile back at a country club that I guess was more of a game than a prank. We had gotten a case of cocktail weenies and it was one of those cases that came with about 30 stick on labels. For fun on a very slow night, every chance we got, we'd try and stick it on the back of the dishwasher without him realizing it. The person who made him realize what was going on had to make family meal for the crew for a week. The fry cook finally got a little too anxious and the guy finally realized what was going on. We got about 18 which is either really impressive on our part or really sad on the dishwasher's part, all depends on your prerogative.

There was another incident at work awhile ago that involved me turning a prank on another guy. One of the waiters was drinking cranberry juice and one of the cooks who is the prankster of the kitchen decided to put a few shakes of Tabasco in his drink. I saw him do it and thought I'd turn the tables. I immediately. Circle around the kitchen to when the waiter was getting something from the cooler and the cook couldn't see. I just said very quickly "Mauricio put Tabasco in your drink. Don't drink it". He started to get mad until I told him we'd turn it on him. I told him to look at me every time before he took a drink. I told him I'd scratch my left shoulder, it was safe. If I started adjusting my hat, it wasn't. When the cook wasn't looking I then switched the drink to a safe one. We first played with the guy; alot of raising the glass to his lips and then putting it back down. It drove the cook nuts. Finally, I gave the signal, and the waiter took a nice long drink. The cook leaned in real close and then looked dumbfounded when the waiter showed no reaction put the cup down and left. Not knowing what went wrong, he went and put Tabasco in again. I promptly switched it and we played the game again. This went on for about an hour; a lot of drink switching going on. Finally, the cook went to the waiter and admitted what he did wanting to know what was going on. The waiter looked annoyed but played along. I then handed the cook his own drink. He took a swig and the spit it out. While focusing so much on the waiter, I slipped a bit of vinegar into his cranberry juice. He laid off the pranks for awhile.

There was one more but this was more of a mind game on the same cook. It was my birthday and I don't really like people knowing. They were never a big deal in my family. He found out and announced to the kitchen before service started which greatly annoyed me (He knew I don't like the attention). I then promptly walked away from the kitchen where everyone was and disappeared for about five minutes. I then emerged and the cook asked where I was. I said "I don't know. By the way you might want to check your car". He immediately wanted to know what I had done and I just kept saying "I don't know". He then walks off for a moment and a dishwasher comes up and asks what I did. I said "Nothing. I just went and sat in dry storage for five minutes planning". The rest of the night I kept dropping hints about his car. Then when I finally left for the night, I said, "I hope you like fish". He then went to his car and searched every inch for something I may have done. He then spent the next 40 minutes driving back to Chicago, thinking he was smelling fish. I found out later when he got home and kept asking people if they smelled fish. Funny part was I left the next day for a 4 day vacation so he didn't get a definitive answer till I got back.


----------



## michaelga

So way back in the early '80s I was working at a mom-n-pop SteakHouse.  Very high end product prepared simply with a huge salad bar and decent selection of sides.  Average main was 25$ plus and was of the meat-starch-veggie on a plate type of service.   Dead simple to cook and a limited number of menu items... don't mess up the protein and everything will go well, was the owner/chef's mantra.

Things were setup for basically one lead cook / chef and one helper to run the entire show.  Being the youngest  I frequently was the helper for the owner/chef.  He was an odd kind of character... older super experienced immigrant from Portugal.  He drank like a fish but never got drunk until the cash from the till was in the bank (every night) and he had both a temper and fatherly patience.   ie. you'd get cussed up one side and down for a mistake but then he'd stop everything and spend 15 minutes showing you how to properly do whatever you made the mistake on.   Kind of a Fire and Ice situation.

So one slow night he says to me earlier than usual "Mika imma going to take da cash to da bank!  You be OK?   Is quiet donnna fuck up any orders while imma gone! Ha Ha Ha.. Imma be right back."

In and of itself this was normal but he usually left with the deposit at around 11pm right about closing.   This was about 7pm so I was a bit curious.  Figured he probably wanted to hit the liquor store before it closed... what ever.

Anyway about an hour goes by and he's usually only gone 20 minutes max.   I do a half dozen covers and all is going well.  Starting to feel cocky and wondering where the boss was.   Servers are all happy not much happening but the regulars, prep is complete life is good.

Then it happened... I started to think what would I do if I got slammed?  Maybe a late tour bus lets out at the hotel across the way or some high roller comes into town.   

Then I get an idea... no idea where it came from or why.

I go out to the servers station and hit the keys to print the days meals, not in summary but in detail by table.  The machine starts spitting out tickets, all the tickets from the entire day.  I take them and start calmly cutting them into tables.  I place most of the tickets on the wire, some on the prep surface under the pass sticking out from plates.  Put a few baked potatoes on a couple of plates.  Drop a few tickets on the floor.

Then I waited...

I hear the back door open, and I yell towards it.... "it's coming dammit - hold your horses, I'm all alone!" 

The footsteps of the boss speed up and come closer and I yell "take it now - the rest is coming" and throw a towel towards the entrance to the line.

The boss steps over the towel and surveys the scene... all I hear is "What tha... What the... What the... Mika??"

I spin around and half cry half scream... " where the hell have you been?  I'm swamped and table 12 wants to be comp'd but I can't do that.   The guys at table 8 are saying that the T-Bones are not 20oz and some lady wants to see the Chef!"  

I watch as he quickly scans the tickets and see the dollar bills blinking on his internal calculator... it was probably about 5 or 6 grand worth of "sales".

He turns to me again and stammers "Mika... what is ... what the ... what the ... Oh Shit!"

I start walking off the line... yell something like "how could you do this to me!"

I turn the corner and then stop...   I know he's now working on the tickets and trying to figure out how to get out of this mess.  As there is nothing on the charbroiler.

I come back in and shout " Gotcha!" a bunch of laughs and pointing...  he blinks at first... then it sinks in.

I think I got cursed and sworn up and down in every language he knew.

He threw a towel at me then all the tickets... swore some more and threw a few potatoes at me.   

He said I'd just sent him to his grave a year early.

Finally he started to laugh... got a drink... gave me a drink.

And said....

"Mika I shoulda nevah show you how da use dat machine!!"

TRUE STORY... god I wish I had kept in contact with that man.


----------



## chefdave11

Not a kitchen prank but I'm cracking myself up and have to share this.  This is kindof the right place for it!

There's a thread "Gluten Free Diets", and about 15 minutes ago somebody just posted a list of like 80 or ingredients to watch out for that could contain gluten.  Anyways, it was kindof extensive.

My post underneath reads, "I make seitan from scratch for some of my Vegan clients.  Can I make it gluten free, too?"

Can you get more gluten-centric than seitan??

Just having fun...


----------



## bekazu

We used to have a dishwasher that liked to wander.  On a particularly busy day the head steward tied the ladies apron string to butcher twine and then to the post of the pan shelf behind her.  Needless to say we all got a good laugh.  She didn't admit she was stuck for hours since she wasn't suppossed to need to leave the area.

The roots of living butter lettuce often resemble rat tails, a well place one gets lots of people worked up.

My personal favorite is to put big sheets of bubble wrap under the mats on the expo station.  Scares the crap out of everyone that walks on it, some of them over and over again,

I work in the back corner of the kitchen in a well insulated room, the line cooks favorite thing to do is sneak up on me while I have the mixer running.  I finally put an end to it by "accidently"  managing to get whatever I was working on all over them.

Slip a raw egg in someone's chest pocket while they are bent over the cooler drawers and when they stand up tell them there is a spider crawling on their pocket, everytime they smack at it.


----------



## braising cows

I think the worst one I have ever experienced was the chest stamp of liquid smoke, that stuff doesn't go away and it's directly under your nose, I think I dry heaved for at least 2 hours. I've also witnessed the wasabi ball in someone's straw so they could see it, the deep fried rag with marinara and cheese on a bun, ferret bitters on a biscuit. Some gnarly stuff.


----------



## atibbs314

I pulled the old mayonaise creme brulee on the pastry chef, the only reason he didnt notice is because he hates creme brulee and was trying to be nice by tasting it for me.  but i made it look and smell very convincing two egg yolks, vanilla paste, and a cup of mayo and torch it and you got and awsome prank creme brulee


----------



## spam

We had a girl in our FOH who would constantly "taste" the food we were prepping in the BOH without our permission. For the most part, it was harmless and we'd just roll our eyes and go on with our day, but it DOES get annoying when every single day, this girl is walking up to our food and pinching a mouthful.

So one day, we dressed up a slab of fat from cooled veal stock like a piece of cheese cake...


----------



## cacioepepe

Not big on pranks, but on someones last day we would tie all of their spoons, scissors, peelers (no knives!) with butchers twine, tie one end to a rod long enough to sit on 22 qt cambro, fill it with water and freeze it overnight.


----------



## kostendorf

while working at one place the kitchen got bought beers from the guest some times.  one saturday night a high roller came and bought the kitchen a couple of rounds.  the pastry chef was the last to leave the kitchen because people were stlli eating desserts so we drank the beers with him while he was still working.  he was filling the shaker with icing sugar and spilt some on the table.  it looked like cocaine,..   soooo i grabed a banquet mirror and we laid out a bunch of lines of icing sugar and cut straws that we dipped in the sugar and left this on the main prep table for the morning chef. we left the empty beers around the mirror to make it look like a party.  then we went to the fest that the whole town including the morning chef was attending.   well the next day at 2 when i started i thought nothing of the gag because the morning chef is cool.  right away he pulled me aside and said."thanks for that gift this morning.  i was out all night at the fest and thought you guys were giving me a pick up to get me past the day.  fcken icing sugar in my nose at 6 am while still drunk is not a good way to start the day"


----------



## just jim

Newest one is to have the new busperson drain the hot water from the coffee maker (from the hot water spigot for tea), telling them that it needs to be drained every night to avoid lime build up.

Give them a pitcher or bucket and tell them to drain it, pouring the water in the sink if the receptacle gets too full.

After a couple of fill and dumps, usually get the "there sure is a lot of water, how long will this take?"

Our response: "wow, we must not have sold much tea tonight.....keep going"

/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rollsmile.gif


----------



## xerp

I always enjoy telling a new dishwasher to grab me the box of steam out of dry storage. Then when they ask where it is I tell them its next to the Liquid Smoke.


----------



## propane

We had waitstaff always eating out food, so one day we decided to make some wasabi guacamole and put it up front for them to snack on! 

oh and wasabi "sherbet" looks alot like lime! haha


----------



## shadow120

this thread reminds me of the good old days.  ill post a few of my favorits.  if a dishwasher/busser/whoever gets a little to big for their britches put some bleach in the window cleaner and send them to clean the windows.  it streaks bad. "whats taking you so long"  "what you cant even clean windows"  "these look like $#*! do them again"  this can go on for hours.

my most  memorable prank was at a bar i worked at.  we had one waitress that we all refered to as princess she was the worst waitress ive ever had to work with and i think she was screwing the gm.  well every night at the end of her shift she would order cheese stick to eat while she rolled silverware.  one night we cooked down some of the hell fire sauce for the hot wing challenge to a paste and filled the cheese sticks with it.  then when she got up to get them one of the other guys filled her drink with vinegar.  when she took a bite of the cheese stick the look on her face was priceless then she grabbed her cup and took a big drink and sprayed it everywhere.  we were all dying laughing.  she was pissed i almost got fired but its still one of the funniest things ive ever seen.


----------



## arugula

Putting xanthium gum in the corn starch dish. So when the guys put it on there private areas, well if you've ever got the stuff on your hands and tried to wash it off with water you know what happens. 
Sending a**hole dish kids down to the prep kitchen to ask the chef for the best philachio he's got.
Putting loonies in the bakers pride for 4-5 minutes then putting them just laying on the pass.
Asking the new guys to get replacement velcro for under the cutting boards. 
Checkered paint.
Rigging the eye wash station into a high volocity super soaker.
Pledging the linolium floors in the staff bathroom.(Making it an ice rink)
Cutting holes in the bottom of garbage bags.
The list goes on.


----------



## chefedb

Great Story Michael.!


----------



## chefedb

Years ago in a Banquet facility that made hundreds of pounds of chopped liver at a time, I took a day off and when I came in the Sous chef had hire a new cook. His assighnment for the day was mix and make the liver. He cooked it all , sauteed the onions just right and cooked the eggs and had them peeled We used a Hobart VCM to make the liver which is a huge drum like blender with a 2 1/2  horse motor. Everything was cooled down and ready to chop. I said to the sous lets have some fun and called the new cook over and asked him had he ever done so much of this at a time?  He said no.I said to him well you have to look out for the released gases from the mix,""I suggest you put on a gas mask(which we had in  spots , mounted on kitchen walls near fire ext.

He put on the mask and started to assemble and grind the mix. Now here is this 250 pound giant of a guy walking around the kitchen ,Just then the owner appears and looks at both sous and myself and says"Ed what the hell is that "? . I said "Oh the guy has some kind of cold and we wanted to make sure he did not contaminate anything" Owner shakes his head and leaves kitchen. with his salad. Cook finishes chopping everything and comes and ask when can I take mask off as its a little warm?.I had to walk away and sous told him keep it on a few more minutes till residue fumes are disbursed.. Neither of us will ever forget that, and we laughed about it 10 years later..           Great business to be in, always a laugh


----------



## chefedb

When I was in school 2 of the bakery student took a can of recipe dog food and baked it in a pot pie hallware dish topped with dough and baked it off. One of the cooks thought he would be smart and took it out of oven sat down with a soda and figured he just got free lunch. He proceeded to eat it when one of the bakers came out with the empty can and yelled out "who too my experimental pot pie from the oven? while holding the empty dog food can near the table where the cook was seated. The cook got up real fast and ran out to the mens room..We all figured he would never do that again, next day he was so embarrassed did not come to school./img/vbsmilies/smilies/bounce.gif A lesson well learned


----------



## michaelga

Gas masks in the kitchen?   wow... i've never worked at a place that dangerous.   Musta been a funny sight.   You probably would have gotten me ... not because of the 'food' but just because you have the masks ... wow~

Experimental 'pooch-pie' I love it - I just might do it....

... if I was just a bit younger i'd keep a couple of cans in the car just to be able to pull it off

Nice one Ed!


----------



## vic cardenas

We have this "Berry Sauce" that would make a great movie prop. It looks exactly like blood. I filled a few fingers of a glove with the berry sauce, slid it on with it all oozing out and dripping everywhere and started yelling. The color just drained out of peoples faces when they saw that.

I got that idea from a story my co-worker told me.

He would fill a few fingers of a glove with ground beef. He would put the glove on his hand with a few 'real' fingers in and with his 'fake' fingers he would tuck his real ones under his palm leaving a couple of ground beef prosthetics. He would then be chopping some veg and chop into the ground beef prosthetics when someone would walk by. He did that to a number of people with great reactions but stopped when finally someone fainted.


----------



## vic cardenas

I worked with a guy that was known for hiding little chunks of hot dogs in servers meals. If he would get an order that would come through his station, he would stuff a piece of chicken or a burger with hot dog chunks in the middle. So, the server would be enjoying their meal until they get to the middle.

I got this from another story told in the kitchen, I wish it was me who witnessed this but it's a good story so I'll tell it anyway. My coworker worked in a restaurant where everybody hated the FOH manager. This guy was just a huge pain. He put in his two weeks notice, so everybody decided to pitch in and play a good prank on him on one of his last days. They got one of the waitresses (willing, mind you) naked and wrapped her in saran wrap, her entire body. They cut a hole for her nostrils and a slit for her mouth so she could breath. They picked her up, carried her and put her in the walk-in freezer, curled up in the corner. One of the cooks acted like he was too busy to get something and asked the FOH manager if he could hurry and run to the freezer to get him a box he needed. The manager obliged, found the "dead girl" and started screaming and ran out back door.


----------



## chefedb

THE MASK WERE THERE BECAUSE WE WERE A FREESTANDING 350 FT .HIGH TOWER AT THE WORLDS FAIR AND THEY FELT THAT IF A FIRE IT WOULD TAKE A LONG TIME FOR US TO GET OUT SO THEREFORE THE MASK.


----------



## michaelga

chefedb said:


> THE MASK WERE THERE BECAUSE WE WERE A FREESTANDING 350 FT .HIGH TOWER AT THE WORLDS FAIR AND THEY FELT THAT IF A FIRE IT WOULD TAKE A LONG TIME FOR US TO GET OUT SO THEREFORE THE MASK.


cool stuff - at least they cared~!


----------



## chef bilby

> Originally Posted by *Vic Cardenas*
> 
> I got this from another story told in the kitchen, I wish it was me who witnessed this but it's a good story so I'll tell it anyway. My coworker worked in a restaurant where everybody hated the FOH manager. This guy was just a huge douche. He put in his two weeks notice, so everybody decided to pitch in and play a good prank on him on one of his last days. They got one of the waitresses (willing, mind you) naked and wrapped her in saran wrap, her entire body. They cut a hole for her nostrils and a slit for her mouth so she could breath. They picked her up, carried her and put her in the walk-in freezer, curled up in the corner. One of the cooks acted like he was too busy to get something and asked the FOH manager if he could hurry and run to the freezer to get him a box he needed. The manager obliged, found the "dead girl" and started screaming and ran out back door.


Bah Ha Ha Ha Ha

Ripper of a yarn !!!!!

I've got beer all over my screen and I think some came out of my nose /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif!!!!!


----------



## shichangchu

An interesting one happened today. It was more of a prank gone wrong. Our salad guy scraped the knuckle of his finger at some point while peeling apples. He hadn't noticed it but I had while walking by because it was bleeding a little. Nothing serious, just a run of the mill abrasion that's easy to overlook. He was then annoyed because I made him start over because he didn't know when he got it and I had no way of knowing whether it had contaminated the apples so I made him throw out the ones he had done so far, about 10. I think it was more about the situation of having to start over. He then decided to freak me out and asked one of the cooks where the red food coloring was. The cook knew exactly what the guy was going to try and what the end result would be. The salad guy then poured some on his hand and as we all know, it looks like blood for maybe ten, fifteen seconds. He then goes back to his station which is at my back and yells out clutching his hand and runs over towards me so show me his "wound". I glance up and immediately know what happened. This is about 90 seconds after pouring it on his hand and so when I look up, instead of being the blood red he was hoping for, his hand is now I nice pink color. The cook and I immediately star laughing and the guy looks down at his hand and his eyes bug out of his head. It gets better when he tries to go wash it off and it's still pink. The best part is going to be him having to explain to people why he has a pink hand for a few days.


----------



## rdldr224

So i have this chef that was convinced i took his knife and hid it while he continually searched for it all shift.  He eventually found it and i was just as surprised at the hiding place as him but he still blames me to this day.  so as payback he is constantly putting salt or white vinegar in my water while i'm in the dining room.  as payback he went to the restroom but left his cell phone on the counter.  i went back and wrapped in about 30 feet of plastic wrap, inflated a rubber glove and put his phone in it, tied it off.  i then used more plastic wrap to keep the glove in the shape of a middle finger.  I put the phone back where he always have it, in a small cambro pan.  i proceded to fill it with water so he had a floating middle finger containing his phone.  when he came back and noticed it he ducked his head and gave a nod of approval but was clearly pissed off.  the cooks were all freaking out cause he has a bit of a temper at times but it was hilarious to say the least.


----------



## matwijiw

We have a sauce in our kitchen called "psycho sauce" 
If anyone annoys me being head chef then there staff lunch is gonna be mighty hot haha 

http://www.hotsauceemporium.co.uk/shop/hot-chilli-sauces/165/psycho-juice-70-ghost-pepper/


----------



## cuthculain

I used to carry around a knife that was missing the tip. I'd take raspberry sauce and puddle into middle of my hand then place the knife there and run to the front of house manager freaking him out. Had to stop when an older front manager faked a heart attack and almost gave me a real one. Now i just stick to the old "move everyone equipment two feet to the left when they go on smoke break" routine. Its nice to watch everyone question their sanity once in awhile


----------

