# Dealing with waitstaff......



## beefcheif (Sep 27, 2006)

K, here is the question, how do you deal with waitstaff who feel the need to constantly tell you something about the plate you serve up..... basically those ones who are always trying to get some sort of power over you and your dishes...... know what i mean? oh, and i cant fire them....


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## oldschool1982 (Jun 27, 2006)

Just look at them , take a breath, smile and say.... Thank you for your input. I'll have to take that underconsideration when I have time. 

Just remember that the serevr may not be just trying to undermine you but rather the opposite. They are mearly relaying what feedback they have received from the guest. 

The FOH/HOH highway has to be a two-way street or to state it a different way... There are a few savvy servers out there that have also been Chef's at one time or another. I've done it that way. Keeps those interpersonal skills honed.:smoking:


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## rivitman (Jul 23, 2004)

They do my bidding or else. period.
Waitstaff seem to feel like everyone on the other side of the pass is afraid of public interaction. I don't need them intrinsically, I'll serve it myself at the drop of a hat. And I'll do it better and with more style.

They might want me to do it 'their way'. I tell them if they want input they can tip me out since many make more than myself or my cooks do.

I see no need for diplomacy. If they wish to play games, thier plates are extra hot, and their tables come up last.

I am however, willing to entertain suggestions made well before or after service. During? I am completely unwilling. And annoyed.


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## beemerchef (Sep 17, 2006)

God! you sound so much like me!!!... HOWEVER... I don't get annoyed any more... that is what I say... and then... I get terribly so annoyed! I am done with my present situation, but all the help where "amateurs" as I called them... ALWAYS... I MEAN... always forgetting the tray... even telling them the story that I get in my car everyday and have to run back to the house to get it... does not phase them... It has been up to the Owner to hire better staff and PAY!!!... I always said... you pay ^%$#... you get ^%$#... 
I have been used to work with the best all my life... specially as a personal Chef for high end clients... the past year has been a frustration!!!...
I know... I am not divulging a solution... as I do not have one!!!
yet...

Be well... Ara


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## theavatar (Jul 18, 2006)

You know, no matter where I go and no matter what style or quality of restaurant I've worked at, waitstaff are always the same.

Generally, because I'm young, a lot of career waitresses and waiters try to tell me how to serve this or how to present it, or in what portions, etc. I especially hate it when they criticize the plate they're serving after we paged them and they waited 20 minutes to come and get it....I hate sending out plates like that, and more often than not, they whine about it.

Honestly, you just have to be a tough SOB. Don't be rude, but don't be friendly. If you're in the middle of something that's obviously important, then stop. Everything. Look at them straight faced and ask, "What can I do for you?" in a neutral tone. They typically get the hint and get out of your face, or, they politely, and above all, quickly, ask you their question.

One thing that I thought was a good idea was putting one chef in charge of dealing with the waitstaff, and he woudl filter through the BS.

Oh yeah, another thing I've done is favor certain members of the waitstaff that perform above and beyond--clean, polite, on time for food, precise in their orders, organized, and considerate. They get a free dinner every so often.

Other than that, if all else fails, call them stupid and light something on fire and get back to cooking!


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## boosehound (Jul 17, 2006)

currently im not saposed to yell at waitstaff, but occasionaly hot pans WILL FLY and i wont think twice or appologize for it EVER. i will not work 80+ hours in a very small understaffed kitchen to listen to some bi**h tell me the lamb is not MR and watch her touch it and continue to tell me how she is right and i am wrong. from there screaming usually ensues. " THANKS CHEF I GUESS I WASTED ALL THAT MONEY ON CULINARY SCHOOL" or a subtle " GET THE F**K OUT AND RUN THE GOD D*M FOOD" this will usually get the point across if it doesnt then it usually turns into a fun night(note heavy sarcasm) this doesnt happen often but when it does i dont stand for it one bit i put them in there place.

several other chefs i know i do side work for will fire someone on the spot instantly for such action without hesitation, they simply look at them inform them so and so will be taking thier tables to clock out and leave the property. when i asked why they do this he explaned... ive been here a little over 20 yrs, i dont need some newbe coming in here telling me how things are or how its going to be or what she thinks the steak is, so when it happens they are made instant example of and fired. 

quite frankly i like that policy i wish i could adopt it my blood pressure would be so much lower!


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## someday (Aug 15, 2003)

I would say that how you treat people is more a reflection on you rather than the "offending" people. 

I say maintain your professionalism, be an adult, and don't throw or scream or anything like that. 

A lot of times the waitstaff is dealing with ignorant customers. 

I know waitstaffs are, many times, frustruating, but dealing with it is a fact of life. 

I try to adopt a positive attitude. Most of the time. Remember that many times they aren't asking questions for themselves, but rather for guests. If you are a good cook then you can multitask, and answer questions at the same time as cooking. I know I can. I can walk and chew gum.

Now, I know there are a lot of servers who don't know what they are doing, and ask stupid questions in the middle of the rush. I had one the other night. Pissed me off.

Came up to me in the middle of service, and asked me what Creme Fraiche was. That upset me. Not that he didn't know--on the contrary, I'm happy to answer questions about food in any way I can, in fact, I enjoy when the FoH takes an interest in really getting to know the food. I'll regal them endlessly with every little step we do to complete a dish, etc. But not when he asks me what Creme Fraiche is, in the middle of the rush, for a dish that has been on the menu for the last 3 months. I know he was asking for a guest, but HE should know the answer to that question. If it was a brand new item on the menu,. I could understand. But that kind of lackadasical attitude and non-commitment really bothers me. 

I still answered his question in a polite way. If I have something to say to that guy I'll do it later, after service. Odds are by then I'll be less angry about it. 

Like I said, take my advice however you want, but I think the restaurant as a whole is better served by positive relations b/t BoH and FoH. You wanna ge a n a-hole chef/cook, screaming and throwing things at the staff, be my guest. Odds are you won't have very good people working for you, and you and the culture you create won't attract good people, keep them on long, or inspire people to work above and beyond for you. Who wants to work in a place like that? 

Having high standards is fine, but don't be a jerk for a jerks sake.


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

Some of them can be helpfull with their critics, you gotta know who they are. I like to think that the good waiters can sell my food and help me make a name.
I also keep in mind that the waiters that I get along with can be good references in the futur(since everybody knows everybody in this field..)
they can also become my followers if I decide to open a restaurant or if I get a job as chef in another restaurant, they can come and work with me.

As for the other waiters, the ballB******, i like to ignore them or tell them to go fil up their clients glass of water or to go clean an ashtray...   :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## sucrechef (Sep 1, 2005)

I have found a cattle prod to be particularly useful:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## markswill (Jan 8, 2004)

In my early kitchen years I definately was tested. Servers everywhere seem to have this uncanny timeing to spew their thoughts. I agree that before or after service and with a a bit of diplomatic urge, their ideas can be considered. The law has to be established though. Without a doubt...


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Since you're all chefs, I know you'll appreciate this one. Well, probably not, but here goes...

I was working at this place that was supposed to be fine dining. The head chef was normally pretty good to deal with, but he found the worst possible times to start behaving like a fool. One particular night, I was crazy busy and he started calling me all kinds of pet names. I asked him to knock it off but he thought he was really funny and kept it up. I finished loading up my tray with 8 plates with covers when he got off his best sexist comment yet. So I threw the tray at him. I can still picture the look on his face. 

Okay,I know it was immature, but it felt good for a few minutes.


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## panonthefire (Jan 15, 2007)

good Gof him:lol: . any chef That loose it does will not get respect from is peers


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## salliem (Nov 3, 2006)

The restaurant where I work, on busy nights, the waitstaff upon entering the kitchen have to say "may I speak"....and then they have to wait till the chef says yes....:talk:


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

I don't think I would have lasted long there!


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## chefme (Jan 22, 2007)

When I work with difficult wait staff and they do anything annoying, or they start criticizing something, I tell them to stop and be nice. if they give me a hard time, I look at them straight in the eyes and tell them that at some point in time, they are going to ask me for something,(example their daily meal-free, most of the time something special) and when that happens, I am going to say no. I tell them that I am a nice guy, but if they are not going to be nice to me, I will not be nice to them either. (Now, I will not be mean to them, I will still give them their food as fast as possible because that affects the restaurant the most)Usually, they back away and act quite nice from there on.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

If I had been your supervisor, either FoH or BoH, I'd have given you the choice of paying out of your check for the full price of all those entrees or clocking out and not coming back. Same to the chefs who throw food, break plates and so forth. People don't seem to understand how many of those entrees you must sell in addition to all the others just to make up the cost of those "floor seasoned" dishes and the gross margin that you just lost for the owner. Generally, to break even on that loss, you must sell 4-5 times what was dropped and wasted. So if you dropped 8 covers, plan on selling 40 additional covers just to make up the loss.

All this throwing, yelling and screaming from chefs and cooks is completely counter productive and hurts the bottom line. It takes three months to completely train a new hire before they are actually contributing to the profit margin. If you create and atmosphere if fear and resentment, you'll have higher turnover rates, thus reducing the profits of the establishment. Restaurants are open to make a profit, not provide an artistic and ego outlet for the chef. Get over yourselves and work to create a communicative and positive atmosphere--your profits and paychecks will increase and the restaurant will stay in business.


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## rivitman (Jul 23, 2004)

I agree with you in principal, but people with an opinion similar to yours, (many owners/general managers) are quite happy to NEVER be around while the situation runs down to such a level. You don't listen to the staff. At all. You are completely tone deaf.
Rarely are there no warning signals. No indications. No signs of things going haywire and no attempt to adress root causes. It festers for weeks, months, even years.

And there is no pressure on you as long as you meet the targets. It's all on the kitchen, and especially the chef.

And management could care less until somthing comes a cropper, where management can have their own garden variety self rightious hissy fit.

This all may sound a bit sociopathic but there it is.

I take the cash. See ya.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Foodnfoto,

I completely agree with you. I would have fired me, too, but when the situation sinks to the low it was that night, the throwing of the food was my final good-bye anyway. There are some BOH folks that pretend to have no clue what it's like for the FOH and visa versa, and when this is going on, the bottom line is the total lack ofrespect for eachother's positions. That IS NOT to say that a server should enter the kitchen with an attitude directed towards those on the line because of what's going on in the dining room, but neither was it okay for the chef to behave like a horny 15 year old. That's just poor management skills (as well as lousy human skills). How much is then expected from everyone who works for him if his behavior is infantile? 

Believe me, I felt horrible, embarassed, juvenile, you name it, after I did what I did. Could I have handled it better? You bet I could have. Would my handling it better have changed his behavior? Not a chance in ****. It was time to go. Funny thing, though. I saw him at a gas station months later, and he came up and apologized for his behavior. He said he deserved what I did. I don't know about that, but he surely deserved the wrath of the mgmt.


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## foodnfoto (Jan 1, 2001)

I agree with you Lentil, but you know what they say "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
If he was making comments like you say, just record him and file a sexual harrassment suit. That gets the attention of the jerk behind the line and also his superiors. You can then keep your job, contribute to effectively changing the workplace atmosphere, and maybe get a few extra dollars to boot. 

As a woman who has suffered from this kind of behavior (Lord, I could tell you some stories!) in the food service workplace (for over 25 years, mind you) I firmly believe that it's really up to us to effectively change the hostile culture that costs us our mental and physical health and costs management money in lost revenues.

I'm thankful that my vocation is different now and that I've got a more balanced perspective on the business. It's culture needs changing to reflect and adhere to worker protection laws that are already in place in our country.
Unfortunately, shows that glorify jerque-ovvs like gordan ramsey (small case for a small mind) and his ilk only perpetuate the problem.


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## lentil (Sep 8, 2003)

Again, Foodnfoto, I agree with you. Prior to the incident, I became part of the union negotiating team thinking that I could do more from the inside. It was the most frustrating experience I've ever had. The union was pretty ineffective by the time I got involved, so the new hires weren't represented as well as older hires were. Just one example- older hires made an hourly wage of over $8 plus tips. New hires made $2+.

I don't know if a harassment charge ever crossed my mind. There the playful banter between people who work closely together then often play together after hours. That's fine, but people have to know when to turn it off and get to work. They also have to know the difference between playful banter and something more ugly. That takes a certain maturity level.


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## powers (Dec 7, 2006)

I worked for a "chef" that threw a stack of steel pans at me once. I finished my shift, clocked out and waited on him to leave that night. Funny thing was, he wasn't as tough when we were outside as he acted when we were inside..... I started with a few shots to the face, then I mixed in some body shots, then garnished with a kick to the stomach while he was cowering on the ground.  The next day he fired me, when the EXEC CHEF found out what had happened, he fired his sous and called me back in. I ended up only missing a few hours of work. 
I have never threatened my staff or put my hands on them. If I have that much problem with them, they can get the F*$k out! Businesses are for profit. PERIOD Respect is something you have to earn. Being a tough guy will only get you hurt. Theats will get you a broken windshield. And degrading staff will eventually get you fired. I want as many people on my side as possible, that way when I need something, people are willing to help. That doesn't mean it's always peachy. But, as I learned from that sous that I worked for, Loyalty and respect far exceed skill and cockiness in the workplace.


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## salliem (Nov 3, 2006)

I have worked for both kinds of "chefs', the ones who think they are "all that" and the ones who believe they can say and do whatever they want...I had one throw a fairly heavy platter at me and then he proceeded to write ME up..what a jerk..handed in my 2 week notice that had my last day the 3rd of July with the 4th of July being one of their busiest days and I was their grill cook/fish cutter..sometimes I think sexual harrasment comes with the territory, not saying it is right, but it happens and alot..I have always threatened to cut an appendage off..seems to work really well!


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## mead (Jan 24, 2007)

Sheesh. Are the throwing and tantrums prevalent in this industry? I haven't seen any yet..

I don't even know what I'd do if someone threw cooking implements at me in anger, other than like wadded pan liners or towels or whatnot. It'd probably get me arrested though.

"My chef threw a pot at me once.... once!" [/Vermin]


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## sweet pea (Feb 5, 2007)

Oh My! :look:


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## chefontheloose (Dec 28, 2006)

Lol...i see the hot plates trick is a wide spread tactic...
Our wait staff here are genarally okay but when they start with comments and suggestions, we take the valid ones to heart and simply dismiss those that we know are rubbish...waiting here is a job for high school and college students and rarely do you get waiters who are making a profession from it.so in general they are hard working but seem to know it all...

funny story though...once we had a hard time with one waiter so our head chef put like 30 plates on our main pass, only one or two plates had his meal in it and then we covered the lot.he only found his plate on about the twentith one....so we did it the whole night for that guy and soon he lost it...

but in all fairness FOH and BOH need to work together and avoid conflicts...but then again it is a kitchen...


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## the_seraphim (Dec 25, 2006)

my god... some of you are downright rude... when i was waitstaff your the kind of chef whos life i would make difficult... want a drink at the end of the night before the bar closes... i would make a point of asking teh chefs what they wanted, putting them through the till and printing a bill later they could put the money into the till afterwards, sometimes i would buy a drink or two for them...

piss me off, i forget you, i dont tell you the delivery guy is here... i schedule your deliveries all at once... i answer the phones a$$hole dont mess with me


now thats over... i made a chicken caesar salad... watress told me it wasnt right... now i know how to do a chicken caesar... fine, she argued went and got manager who had a right go at me and i showed him his own **** spec sheet and he said the spec sheet was wrong... so i pushed the plate off the hot light shelf spilling caesar everywhere got another one and started his horrible version.... coss lettuce, chicken, caesar dressing, feta, croutons.... thats it... mine had a decent salad chicken wasnt cut so thin, anyway... 

later on i found the waitress sat her down apologised (i had shouted at her and made her cry) she would have saved me from getting my ar*e handed to me by the manager and i didnt realise it... now i listen to her when she tells me im missing something, shes been there longer than me, she knows the menu better... 

then theres the waitress ive banned from coming in the kitchen while im working... mostly because i find her so attractive and alluring... **** i know her in college... wanted in *** ***** then lol... cant help but be distracted and my service sucks... so shes not allowed in while i work anymore.

and theres the 17 year old always talking about who shes sleeping //////////////////////

of course i love them all again when they heft in a 25 inch tv infront of the hot lights across the room so i can see and put the football on cause i was gonna miss it else... 

love hate, mostly love..... be nice to your waitstaff... or else...


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

then theres the waitress ive banned from coming in the kitchen while im working... mostly because i find her so attractive and alluring... **** i know her in college... wanted in *** ***** then lol... cant help but be distracted and my service sucks... so shes not allowed in while i work anymore.

and theres the 17 year old always talking about who shes sleeping ///////////////////
of course i love them all again when they heft in a 25 inch tv infront of the hot lights across the room so i can see and put the football on cause i was gonna miss it else...

love hate, mostly love..... be nice to your waitstaff... or else
Real nice post!???


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## the_seraphim (Dec 25, 2006)

what do you mean "real nice post"


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## even stephen (Oct 10, 2005)

The content seems a little inappropriate, thats all. 
Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers. The world is 
changing and what people percieve has become more
important in the workplace. Most places don't allow
one to speak as you expressed yourself in that post.
No harm/No foul. take it easy and stay between the 
ditches.


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## jim berman (Oct 28, 1999)

No, the content was a bit more than a "little" inappropriate. Might we remember that professionalism carries over into our language, as well please?


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