# A chef's dating life?



## misskaedy

How do chef's have the time to date when they are so busy with their job?


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## cheflayne

_Lettuce _us be frank_, _I _fig_-ured out how to find _thyme _to _date_ which led to marrying a hot_ tamale_. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/lol.gif


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## durangojo

Cheflayne........The elephant photo please...he just seems to say it all.

joey


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## cheflayne

I have no idea what you are talking about.





  








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cheflayne


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Mar 13, 2012


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## kaiquekuisine

well i am speaking for myself when i say i usually have one day off every week XD.


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## durangojo

@Misskaedy
Its hard
Its ridiculously hard 
Its harder than hard
But its doable
Make the time
Unless you are the head chef or you own the place, you need to find the time, no make the time for an outside life...period. While it is applaudable that you are so dedicated to your craft at some point you may come to resent it. Don't miss out on life and love and all they have to offer for the sake of a kitchen. a friend once told me a long time ago that the graveyards are filled with indispensable people. Having a somewhat normal life on the outside will make you better and more well rounded in a not so normal kitchen. A kitchen won't rub your tired feet at night or make you a cup of tea or listen to all your woes or tuck you into bed or bring you your favorite blanky. One day you will wake up at the age of 40 and realize that you make the food for all the birthday parties and showers and weddings...but you don't get to help in the celebrations because you are too busy. Wasn't it john lennon who said 'life is what happens while you're busy making other plans'.......still holds true
While your at it..get a dog....then you have an excuse to not pull that extra shift, to go have a street life. Big plus having a dog in your life..huger than huge.....they are always happy to see you no matter what kind of crappy mood your day put you in....they are miracles with paws and their one sole job in life is to make you happy.....they will love you to the last beat of their heart, unconditionally. And they are people magnets......they get you off your duff, out of the house,a walk in the park where there are PEOPLE! And dogs usually LOVE people.
So, just do it...
if not a dog, an elephant perhaps?
seriously though,you do have days off right?
Sorry if i went a little OT.....no coffee yet!

joey
Thanks layne....the elephant pose was in response to your little diddy.


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## berndy

Most Chefs I know had many, many honeymoons but without a real wedding./img/vbsmilies/smilies/blushing.gif


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## cheflayne

durangojo said:


> joey
> Thanks layne....the elephant pose was in response to your little diddy. /img/vbsmilies/smilies/wink.gif


Sheesh, I figured that out immediately, if not sooner.


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## michael dobbs

The key is...to date people who are also in the industry. They are the only ones who will get you. And it doesn't necessarily have to be someone with your skill set in the industry. Only, people with the same passion for serving others in a thankless profession, and those who have the same energy and passion will truly get you.
Anybody outside of the profession will demand your attention (understood) and will need their desires met. And you may not have the time or understanding as to how to do that.
Those in our industry have the compassion to understand what you deal with each shift or day. Together, you can tailor your life and time together. 
Don't be timid to see someone aspiring to be more in our profession, or even someone in front of house or someone who isn't completly immersed in a restaurant but perhaps has history in the business..or perhaps someone in a different field in the industry (maybe retail, maybe a coffee shop owner..etc....it doesn't have to be someone who is your equal in the profession. Just someone who gets you, and is fun to be with, and has drive to move you both to a better place in the industry.


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## meezenplaz

> So, just do it...
> if not a dog, an elephant perhaps?


This from Bobo (pictured) 

*"Wha--what about Monkeys? What's wrong with monkeys HUH Joey??"*

If you had a 2nd job you'd find time to get there I presume.

Maybe you need to look at dating AS a second job..... so you

can get it done!


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## cobes

The years I've been doing this dating has been too hard. They all say that they understand I work tons, yet complain when I can't take them out on Valentines day. I never have a problem taking some one home. But taking someone to the parents is the toughie...


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## kaiquekuisine

durangojo said:


> While your at it..get a dog....then you have an excuse to not pull that extra shift, to go have a street life. Big plus having a dog in your life..huger than huge.....they are always happy to see you no matter what kind of crappy mood your day put you in....they are miracles with paws and their one sole job in life is to make you happy.....they will love you to the last beat of their heart, unconditionally. And they are people magnets......they get you off your duff, out of the house,a walk in the park where there are PEOPLE! And dogs usually LOVE people.


So true , so happy i have 3 XD. But i miss them so much.

My dog having pups was the reason i got an extra day off at work.

Also then you have an excuse to not put in extra hours.  ( but dont get one just for that reason )


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## nicko

I have to say I went through stages where I did not date at all and when I dated all the time. The truth is you make time for what is important to you. Even though I was in the business I dated on occasion, worked out everyday, and went to church on Sunday. It is tough but at some point you have to cut it off and make taking time for yourself a priority. I believe it is extremely unhealthy if you don't.

It also makes a difference where you choose to work. Working in France 14-16 hours a day I had no time but I didn't want time to date I was there to learn. In the states you use your time off to spend time with someone your interested in and just take a break from all the madness. Marriage though is an all together different animal and one of the primary reasons I got out. You have two choices either you marry someone in the business or you don't spend time with your kids. Just before I left the business I had two pivotal moments that made me walk away from it. One , I called a friend of mine on Christmas Day and his wife said "you just missed him, he watched the kids open their gifts and then went to help prepare for the buffet". Second, I noticed all the guys I worked with that were married with kids were never home to sit down to dinner as a family. That was not something I ever wanted.

All this to say many many people make it work. My aunt and Uncle have owned a restaurant for 30 years and they spent plenty of time with their kids over the years and provided a great life for the family. It is a huge sacrifice any way you cut but what worth doing isn't? Andre Soltner after 20 years at Lutece said it best "We gave our lives for the restaurant".


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